Tag: leading

Tips for Vacationing Well

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If you’re like me, taking a vacation can actually be hard. Not because we don’t want to vacation and take a break, but because we feel the strong pull of commitment to our jobs as ministers. We want to make sure everything and everyone we serve is doing okay and so we are willing to push our own needs and those of our families to the side.

We will answer phone calls, texts, and emails while we are on vacation. We will work on solving problems and message prep. We will do work instead of pausing and spending time with those who are closest to us. We will not actually pause but continue to go. I don’t say this to make you feel bad but instead to help us see the reality of what is going on in our lives.

And believe me, up until a little over a year ago, I was there with you. I was checking emails on vacation, responding to texts, and not being fully present while on vacation with Elise. I took my laptop and work items with us when we went away. I was on the phone with volunteers and families.

I didn’t actually pause and take time to refresh. I totally understand that pull to care for our people and to ensure the success of what we are doing. I know that comes from a good place, but even things that come from a good place can morph into problematic habits and rhythms. This isn’t meant to be a critical post or one to break you down, but instead to cause us to pause and reflect on our hearts and to think through how we can vacation well.

Set boundaries.

Boundaries are a big part of being able to vacation well. If you have unspoken expectations that aren’t met, you and your family will consistently be disappointed. What I mean is this: you can’t expect there to be boundaries if you don’t share them. You need to tell your coworkers, your leaders, and even your students that you will be away and not available. You must set up auto replies for your emails saying you’re away. You need to leave work at work which may mean turning off your phone or putting it on airplane mode and leaving your laptop at home. Setting boundaries will not only help you relax and decompress, it will also allow you to be wholly present with your family.

Be honest with your spouse and vacationing partners.

This is an aspect about vacationing that we don’t always think about and something I know I have to work on. I told Elise that I didn’t want to work on our most recent vacation and that I was going to leave my laptop at home. But I also knew I could check my work email on my phone so I asked her to help keep me accountable. Between the both of us, I stayed away from work and vacationed well. But that only happened because I was transparent with Elise about what I needed help with.

For all of us who serve in ministry, we need to be honest about the pull of ministry work even when we are on vacation. Take the time to talk through it before the trip and give people permission to speak into your life, hold you accountable, and challenge you in your growth.

Leave work stuff at work.

This can be difficult in ministry because we feel the call God has placed on our lives and the burden we have for helping those God has placed under our care. I get it, I feel that tension as well. But we must also understand that God didn’t design us to be beings who continuously work without taking a break.

In fact, God intentionally designed the Sabbath to force us to take a break because He knew that work could and would become an idol for us. If you look at the story of Elijah you will see that even in the Old Testament, leaders struggled to take a break and God had to force Elijah to rest and eat. We don’t do a good job of pausing and leaving work stuff at work. We do just the opposite and we allow it to cripple and overwhelm us.

What we need to do is leave work at work and be wholly present with those we are vacationing with. That means not taking work items on vacation. It may mean turning off your phone. And it definitely means not being on call while you’re off from work. A great way of practicing this may be to actually leave all your work items at work or at home if you’re traveling. If you’re doing a stay-cation and your work stuff is at home, it may mean having someone hold you accountable to make sure you’re not engaging with work items.

Communicate with your team and students.

One thing that will help you actually vacation is not having interruptions. That means communicating to your team, your students, and others that you will be away. That doesn’t mean they can’t contact you, but you are establishing healthy boundaries and highlighting the necessity for rest and refreshment. When you clearly communicate that you will be away and the parameters surrounding that time, you are making sure to establish the necessary boundaries that are needed for you to vacation well.

Stay off social media.

When I took my mental health leave of absence over a year ago, one of the things I did was take a break from all social media. And honestly, it was one of the best things I have ever done. So much so that I decided to stay off of social media indefinitely. I’m not going to tell you that you need to get off of social media forever, but I will say that staying off of it while on vacation is vital.

Social media, while fun and engaging, can also be depleting and force you to focus on work. You’re most likely friends with people from work, students and parents, and your leaders which will cause you to inadvertently think about work while on vacation. Social media can also distract you while you’re on vacation and keep you from fully refreshing and relaxing. Making sure to remove yourself from social media will actually give you more peace and rest while you’re on vacation.

What are some of your tips to help you vacation well?

6 Tips for Designing Your Space

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Typically there are two responses to this type of an article: I don’t have a designated space or I already have my space set up.

Those responses highlight a mentality of frustration or completion and I can fully resonate with both. When you don’t have a space that is specifically for your ministry due to multipurpose usage it can be really discouraging and frustrating. On the other hand when you have your space and it is fully set and designed how you like, your response may be to continue with the status quo, because why change what is working?

But may I suggest to you that neither of those responses are helpful nor beneficial? In fact both of those attitudes can lend themselves to complacency and an unwillingness to adapt and change. That is not a helpful place to be because it leads to tensions, frustrations, resentments, and bitterness. Instead what we should should be doing is thinking creatively and identifying ways in which our space can be most utilized to reach and impact the communities we serve. The question then is how can we design and utilize our space to that end?

1. Know your ambiance.

What is the vibe that you want your ministry to have? Is it a classroom setting? Do you want it to feel more like a party? Or is it a coffee shop environment? It may be none of these or a hybrid of a few different options. Regardless of what you choose, how you embrace the ambiance and build your space to reflect that is key. So know what you are going for and commit to it.

2. Consider your lighting options.

Our space is pretty set with lighting options because it’s a multipurpose room. This means we can’t add or change anything unless it is something the entire church agrees on or the items must be able to be removed after each event. For us, that means that either we use the lights that are in the room or we get creative. We chose to get creative and we have purchased floor lamps and market lights to change the ambiance of the room for our youth group nights. While yes, they do make set up a bit longer, the change of lighting and the effect it has on our environment has been more than worth it.

3. Think about seating.

Here’s the thing: chairs and tables aren’t always necessary. They can add to an environment but they can also detract from it. Deciding how you want people sitting may sound like it isn’t important but it can shift the the entire ambiance and purpose of your space.

When I started at our church, Sunday mornings were a little dull and lifeless. Students would come and sit in rows and there wasn’t a reason for why we had rows. So I shook it up, and we moved to round tables with chairs to foster conversations and discussion on what we were teaching. Changing seating will switch up the ambiance, the energy, and even the purpose of what you’re seeking to accomplish. So think through how you want your seating to be and make sure it matches your vision and purpose.

4. Intentionally set up your room.

We just talked about chairs and tables but it is important to think through your room setup holistically. Where do you have your TV or your projector? Where are you putting snacks? Does your room setup convey a welcoming environment? Where and how will you incorporate games and activities?

Like I said above, we utilize round tables and chairs but that really inhibits us from being able to do active and mobile games. We knew that with our current set up we would need to be creative, so we utilize PowerPoint games that are usually in an all-play style.

We should also think through how our rooms bring people in and what we are conveying. Is it welcoming? Does it feel warm and inviting? How are students engaging and interacting? These questions will help us to think critically about room setup and if it is what we need for our program.

5. Incorporate student elements.

This is something I would love to do in our main spaces, but unfortunately cannot at this time. Instead I’ve encouraged students to bring in paintings and drawings, poetry, photos, stories they wrote, sculptures, or any other artistic elements to decorate our Leader Hub. Allowing students to contribute not only highlights their gifts and skill sets, it also helps to encourage your leaders as they see their students growing and flourishing.

6. Utilize food and music.

Music and food are two amazing elements we often don’t consider but just have at our gatherings. But why do we use them and how should we use them? Food is a natural barrier breaker. Have you ever noticed how often Jesus had conversations around food? I believe it is because when you share a meal, people’s walls start to come down and it allows us to engage in community. So as you think about designing your space, think about where you’ll be incorporating food and if it is truly helping your group engage in community. If food is at the back of the room and difficult to get to, you aren’t helping your cause. But if it is readily accessible and in a place students see, it will help you succeed in your vision for your program.

Music is hugely important when it comes to designing your space. Have you ever gone to a coffee shop or a supermarket and there’s no music playing? It’s a little creepy right? We begin to wonder why there isn’t music, it feels awkward, and we pull inward. The same is true for student spaces. You could have the most beautiful space but if there’s no excitement and nothing filling the dead air, students will not want to be there. So play music but also think about what kind of music you want, and how it is rounding out the environment you are seeking to create.

The Importance of a Health and Wellness Policy

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A health and wellness policy was something that years ago I would never have considered. We never talked about it in any of my classes or education environments. It only began to come up when I was involved in my ministry cohort, which was going on shortly after the pandemic started.

Our church implemented a health and wellness policy like many others once COVID-19 hit in our area. We implemented guidelines and policies to ensure that everyone remained safe and healthy. Like many other churches, these policies were met with mixed reactions. But after refining the policy and thinking about the future of health and safety for the church, we now have a policy that exists for all ministries and seeks to love and care for our people in meaningful and proactive ways.

I don’t mean to write this post as a worst-case scenario, or to try to instill fear, but instead to help us serve and care for our communities well. This is an opportunity for us show the love of Jesus in very real and tangible ways as we help to protect our community. With the fall upon us, we will start to see a rise in the common cold, flu, RSV, and COVID as students are back in school and activities are ramping up. So how do we handle this well? What are some key things to make sure we implement?

Have an overall wellness policy, not a policy per illness.

We don’t have a COVID-19 policy, we have a health and wellness policy with an addendum about COVID. That means our policy has health and wellness guidelines for all sorts of illnesses and helps us address the entirety of the community, not just the ones who catch a certain illness.

Make sure your guidelines are clear.

I don’t know about you, but I have some students who love to try to find a way around the rules. Whether it’s a PowerPoint game, a group competition, or even just the guidelines for our youth group. But I think we all know this doesn’t just apply to students. Sometimes leaders and parents will try to get around guidelines and rules, so make sure they are clear and easily understood. Don’t over-complicate the guidelines but instead look for clarity in what you are stating.

Keep it simple.

This is something I learned during 2020 when we tried to spell out all the rules and have all the contingencies. But truth be told, we either weren’t prepared for the circumstances that developed or we had a ton of rules for moments that never materialized. What I learned through all of that was to keep these guidelines simple. Instead of trying think through all the rationalizing that we can do for an illness and if people should participate, just keep it simple and say, “If you’re feeling sick, stay home.” The simpler the guidelines the better and easier they are to understand.

Have PPE items available.

The term PPE (personal protective equipment) became extremely popular during the pandemic and many people presume that this refers to mask, gloves, and sanitizer. But it actually can expand to much more. Yes, gloves and masks are helpful–especially if you have to deal with first aid issues that may involve blood borne pathogens–but there are other items to include. These could be certain cleaners, hand sanitizers, Clorox or similar style wipes, first aid items, and hand soaps at all hand washing locations.

Be willing to explain the reasoning for your policy.

When we first instituted our policy we got a lot of questions. Yes, you could make the argument that we all had a lot of questions about our wellness policies in 2020, but the reality is I still get questions as to why we have one. My answer is usually pretty simple: we believe that part of being followers of Jesus means caring for one another (especially those who are in need) and this is one of the best ways we can do that. Sometimes that suffices and other times it does not. We have to be willing to share the reasoning for our policy, but also need to understand there will still be those who disagree regardless of our reasoning.

Explain the policy to students, families, and leaders.

Clarity of thought and communication is key for this policy. These guidelines and policies need to be communicated to everyone they affect, and that means thinking through the spheres of communication. We always walk through this at all of our leader training sessions, communicate it to students at the start of each semester, and we send it out to all parents in our newsletter. That way everyone is aware of our policy and the reasoning behind it.

So what are our guidelines?

They’re pretty simple: if you’re sick stay home. That goes for students and leaders. We love that our leaders are dedicated but if they are sick, they aren’t going to be at their best and they could get others sick. The only addendum we have is for COVID-19, and that is simple as well. For the first five days we ask the student or leader to stay home (i.e. not coming to church activities) and then the next five days they are able to participate but with a mask.

Our reasoning is exactly what we stated above: to love and care for others well no matter the circumstance. We want to make sure that our immuno-compromised friends can still come and not have to worry about getting sick and that we don’t spread illness around to others. We believe that Jesus, being the great Healer, would want His followers to do all they can to ensure the health of His Bride, the church. We embody that through our health and wellness guidelines.

Theme Night Ideas: Fall Kickoff

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It’s the middle of August and that means the school year is rapidly approaching. Many of our students are getting in their final vacations and summer memories because they start school in just a couple of weeks. Families are beginning to shop for back to school items and students are beginning to finalize their class schedules.

This also means that ministries–ours included–are preparing for the fall launch. Our summer programming is scaled back due to living in a tourist town where most local families go away for the summer. Because of that, we look to kickoff our fall programming in a fun and celebratory way. We love to start the school year in a way that fosters community and is invitational, while at the same time highlights what our ministry is about and shares our vision.

A successful fall kickoff isn’t a capstone to the year or indication that everything will go smoothly throughout the school year. Instead, a successful fall kickoff helps to set your ministry up for a good year and it allows the tone to be set for your students. Today I want to share some ways you can make your fall kickoff special, meaningful, and intentional for your students.

Cast the vision well.

One of things that is always important to the start of the school year is making sure you cast your vision. It sets the tone for the year, highlights your priorities, and helps students and leaders know what your ministry is about. It allows you and your team to set the tone and direction for your group right from the onset of the ministry year. By doing this, students and families know your heart and passion for the ministry. It will also highlight the direction you are going and the reasons for doing so.

Utilize local resources.

I’ve talked about utilizing local resources in other posts, but in moments like these I love to do that. We typically see larger numbers at the start of the year because students are excited to be back. And with typically nicer weather this time of year, it affords us more options to utilize. We’ve partnered with local eateries and ice creameries for our kickoffs in the past, but you can honestly utilize any local business.

If you live in a farming community you may be able to host a whole hog cookout. If you live in a community known for a certain type of food or dessert, try to highlight that. If you have community groups that offer unique experiences like onsite laser tag or dunk tanks and weather allows, incorporate it into your kickoff. We live in Hershey and have highlighted chocolate at different points, but we also don’t want to overuse that one thing and so we look for other elements to highlight. Whatever your local resources, make sure to give them a shout-out and point your students and families to that aspect of the community.

Know your culture.

I could tell you all the things that we have tried to incorporate and have seen fail. I could also list out all the things I have done that have worked. But the truth of the matter is, some or none of those may work for you depending on the culture of your ministry. If you have students who just want to chill, setting up a large scale scavenger hunt won’t work. If you have students who love sports and active games, setting up 9 Square and playing capture the flag will probably be a win. At the end of the day, you need to know what your students are going to readily engage with and utilize those things to your advantage.

Create a celebratory moment.

Let’s be honest: going back to school isn’t a celebration for most of our students. But kicking off youth group, regathering with friends, and looking ahead are celebratory moments. So look to celebrate in ways your students will connect and relate to. This comes across in how you theme the gathering, the environment you create, how it’s communicated, and the way you and your leaders respond to it. When you and your leaders are having fun, your students will respond to that energy. It is also important to look at the environment. Do you have music, are leaders smiling and engaging, are the activities working, is there food, have you created opportunities for community? These questions will help us identify if this is truly a celebratory moment and also help us shift things if needed.

I would also encourage you to create a singular moment that everyone can celebrate. This can be pre-planned or something organic that happens in the moment. Let me explain. Every other year our church does outside services in the summer under a tent and it was still up when we did our fall kickoff. We had our music pumping and kids started to come up on the stage and dance. And let me tell you, some of our kids can truly bust a move! I was about to settle everything down and call students in for our brief message, but instead I called our students in and threw on a few songs they knew and our entire student body engaged in a dance party for about ten minutes. It was awesome and exciting and everyone was involved.

That’s an “in the moment” celebration. But perhaps pre-planning is better for some ministries. Maybe you celebrate and honor students who were baptized this summer. Perhaps you celebrate what God did on your mission trips or at camp. Maybe it’s welcoming in new students. Perhaps your students met a challenge and get to hit you with pies. Whatever it is for you, make sure to celebrate with your community.

Theme the evening.

This doesn’t need to be crazy or a brand new idea. Sometimes the proven themes can be the best for your group. We have tried to make our fall kickoff tailgate themed, but that never landed with our students. We did “Minute to Win It” for multiple years but it never really caught on. What has actually worked for our group is a theme around community and connection. We shape our kickoff around intentional moments and activities that foster connection and conversations. We also highlight our small groups and create two moments for connection during our kickoff. At the end of the day, however you theme your night has to be something that resonates with your community and draws them together.

Involve students and leaders.

Whenever I host kickoffs I like to highlight my leaders and introduce them, but I also love to make sure they get intentional time with their students. I also really enjoy getting my students involved in leading or facilitating part of the kickoff. This can include letting an intern take lead in the structure of the night. Or have students share their testimonies or stories of what they saw God do in and through them during your summer trips.

Set the challenge.

One of my favorite things to do is to honor and celebrate the successes we see our students already doing and challenge them to continue to do just that. Last year we saw our students invite a ton of friends to our kickoff and so I challenged them to let our ministry be a place where anyone and everyone could come and to continue inviting inviting their friends. This resulted in record numbers of new students attending our program and many of them becoming part of our community.

By setting a challenge or goal for your students, you are highlighting how they are the focus of the ministry. You are giving them identity, ownership, and purpose, and students will rise to that challenge. So think about what you’d like to challenge your students to this year and lay that out for them at your kickoff. I would also encourage you to remind them throughout the year and to celebrate the successes as they happen.

What’s In Your Back Pocket?

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“Feeling about his pockets, he finds the ring he had found earlier and had forgotten about, and asks out loud to himself, ‘What have I got in my pocket?‘” – The Hobbit

Sorry, I couldn’t help but dig into my nerdy side with this title. This isn’t a post about The Hobbit but instead is about being prepared at any time. Throughout my time in youth ministry it has been impressed upon me the importance of always having a backup plan. Or something in your back pocket. It’s essential to have something ready to go in case of the inevitable shift in plans, weather, attendance, or any of the hundreds of changes that happen during ministry.

This has often happened to me on mission trips. You go to visit a church in the community you’re serving in and they ask you to come and share, and what they really mean is give a sermon. Or you may be asked to go on visitation to a nursing home and they ask you to run the chapel that day. Perhaps you are put on the spot in a tragedy. Or maybe the main youth leader is out sick and running the night falls on you! What do you do? Are you ready to go? Should you just wing it?

I think for many of us, those are somewhat terrifying moments and situations. I can honestly say that I have experienced all of them. And having walked through them I have realized the necessity of being prepared and having messages, games, and questions you can default to. This isn’t to say you should live in fear wondering when you’ll be called on next, but rather to be prepared should you have the opportunity to step up. I want to share with you a few ways you can be prepared and have something your back pocket whenever you need.

Have easy no-prep games ready to go.

We have written on our favorite little- or no-prep games before, and having games that you know how to run that don’t need any supplies is a must. A favorite of mine is pull up which you can find by clicking the link to the earlier post. And manhunt or capture the flag are also super easy because it just involves people, space, and maybe a couple quick objects for a game. If you don’t have the space or the weather outside isn’t cooperating, think about playing spoons or mafia. Anything can be utilized to take the place of spoons, except sharp things, and mafia requires only a deck of cards.

Always have generic small group or discussion questions.

Small group questions are the norm for many programs but they often come from the lead person for that ministry. If you were asked to take over for an evening or an event, do you have small group questions you can utilize? Having generic questions will allow your students or team to engage with the lesson or material and better seek to apply it to their lives. Generic questions typically won’t work every week, but in a pinch these are a great way to ensure conversation in large and small groups.

Here are some general questions that we incorporate each week alongside our specific questions that relate to the lesson:

  • What is one good thing and one difficult thing that happened this week?
  • What stood out to you from the talk?
  • What challenged you from the talk?
  • What were some of the key topics and themes from the message?
  • What was the big idea from tonight’s conversation?
  • What is one part of the message that you want to explore more?
  • What is one thing you can practically apply to your life this week?
  • What prayer requests do you have?

Always have a message or two that you know by heart.

This is something I learned on my very first mission trip as a student. We were told we may need to share a devotion at some point on the trip, but what we didn’t know was that devotion would be shared in front of a church and was actually the Sunday message. I had volunteered to share prior to the trip and was shocked when I found out I’d be in front of the church. I don’t remember what I said but I remember the pastor coming up afterwards and thankfully expounding on it.

I wish I could say that mission trip was the only time that happened but I can’t. I’ve been asked to preach multiple times on mission trips when we enter a church building. I’ve also been asked to share a message of hope to a large group of students and families when I arrived as a grief counselor to an unexpected tragedy involving a student. I wasn’t prepared for that but I knew I needed to be able to offer some sort of comfort and hope to a hurting group of people. I know it’s not always easy to be prepared in the moment. But if you have a hand full of messages for a variety of circumstances memorized and ingrained in your mind and heart, you will find yourself better prepared to tackle those surprise moments.

A few messages I have in my back pocket include a general one on God’s grace and gift of salvation; one on grief, pain, and hope; and two based off of my favorite passages of scripture from Psalm 1 and Ephesians 3. These are all messages that have personal connections to my life and are ones I have worked on for years to make sure they have been honed and internalized. By utilizing personal connections and practicing them, they become ingrained and part of us, which means they are ready to go even when we are surprised to learn we will be teaching.

We want to know: what are some things that you keep in your back pocket?

How to Host a Respite Day

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One of the best parts of my job is working with our special needs ministry. I have the amazing privilege of overseeing a wonderful team of volunteers who love and guide our students in that ministry. Aside from being a ministry I believe every church should have (that’s another conversation for a later post), this is a ministry that truly brings me so much joy.

I started with the special needs ministry when the person overseeing it moved on to a different ministry organization. I’ll be honest and say that I was woefully ill-prepared and had no idea what I was doing. I had never been trained or taught about this while in school, and this is the first church that I have been to that actually has a special needs ministry.

So I went into my first meeting with the team and just asked questions and sought to learn. I dove into books, contacted churches who have special needs ministries, and sought to grow in my ability to walk with and disciple these amazing young people. Through all of that, I got to know my team and our students better and truly began to understand and have a heart for this ministry just like my leaders. And it was through one of my leaders that we began to host our Respite Days again.

Respite days were something our church hosted before COVID and before I started on staff, and honestly, I was a little nervous about hosting them. My mind ran toward all the liabilities, the different needs students had, the guidelines we needed, the number of volunteers, and so much more. If I am being honest though, it was fear that kept me from being willing to host these days in the beginning. Fear of the unknown and what-ifs. Fear of failing. Fear of letting down our students and families who already are marginalized and isolated.

But after some loving and continued prodding from my team, we hosted a respite day in January of this past year and it was a huge success! So much so that we are now hosting one in the summer, fall, and spring of each year. What I’d love to share with you today are a few key ways you can host your own respite day and how you can help ensure it is a success.

Have a sign up process.

The sign up process shouldn’t just be about gathering names, addresses, or other contact info, but about getting to know the students and their families. You should have options for understanding the students and their disabilities and how you can best care for them. You should also look to understand what their triggers are and how they interact with others. Doing this allows you to better serve, love, and care for the students. I’d also encourage you to have a place where you can ask the families if they have any prayer requests or needs, so you can assess whether your church can step in to help and walk with them.

Build a team.

One of the best things to have in place to make this a successful event is a quality team. Having people who understand students with special needs and how to love and care fore them is essential. But it’s also important to bring in people who simply love others well and care enough to learn and walk with them.

Utilize students.

Students with special needs often feel ostracized and alienated by their peers. And more often than not, students with special needs know that they are different and left out. So bringing in students to love and share in life with your group is a wonderful way to encourage them and help to build community. Seek out students who are good hosts and willing to spend time with others, and simply let them do that. Allow them to simply come and build relationships with their peers and to love on your special needs students.

Provide food.

Food is a natural way to lower walls and build community. Having snacks and a meal (if time allows) is a great way to make your environment welcoming and warm. But make sure that you know if certain foods or additives aren’t okay for your students. This is something that your intake form should have as a required question.

If parents don’t want their students having sugar, think about having fruit instead of fruit snacks. If they can’t have food dyes, look for more natural snacks. We have provided Goldfish crackers, pretzels, grapes, and Skinny Pop as snack items and we have had pizza and Chick-fil-A for meals. Whatever you choose, be intentional in what you pick to help make your atmosphere and the entire day feel special and celebratory.

Have a variety of activities.

In order for a respite day to be a success, it is highly important to have a lot of different activities to engage your special needs students. These could be Foosball, ping pong, four square, board games, puzzles, coloring and crafts, playing outside on a playground, drawing with chalk, watching a movie, or playing games on a Wii. We also provide fidget toys for our students who need them and we place them throughout the area we are using so they are ever-present.

We don’t necessarily structure our day with rigid timelines of what we want to do at specific times. Instead we have all the activities up and going to allow our students to engage organically with one another. We do make sure our leaders are present at each activity but we also allow students to choose their own adventure by picking what activity they would like to do.

Bless the families.

One thing I came to realize by serving with our special needs team is this: having a special needs child is extremely taxing and isolating. Most of these families feel alone and forgotten. And worst still, they don’t see churches as safe places for them or their kids. I’ve had multiple parents tell me they have been forced to leave a church as they were told their child wasn’t wanted because they are a disruption. These families are hurting and in need.

So if you’re able to, consider having gifts or gift bags for the students and for their families. For families, we write a card for them and include a gift card to a local restaurant along with information about our church and special needs ministry. For the students, we give new students The Biggest Story Bible by Kevin DeYoung, but everyone gets a gift bag with glow sticks, snacks, some fidget toys, stickers, colored pencils, a journal, sunglasses, and a special note to them from our special needs ministry team.

Utilize invitations.

When you are preparing to host a respite day make sure that you have invitations that you can use to invite people. Disperse them to your church community but also ask the families who have special needs students to invite their friends. Special needs families have their own communities and know one another well, so asking them to share the invitations will ensure that they invite their friends which will provide opportunities for unchurched people to step into your church.

Be hospitable.

Welcoming families as they arrive is key. There may be families who show up who have never been to your facility before, so having someone greet them is paramount to them feeling loved and accepted. Make sure your leaders have name tags and introduce themselves as they interact with the families to encourage them and to help them be put at ease as they leave their student with you.

Hospitality shouldn’t exist only when people arrive but also as students are picked up. Making sure you have a greeter and someone to walk parents and guardians back to their students is highly important and shows them that you value the safety and well-being of their child as well as caring for the parent.

Helpful Items for Leaders to Take on Mission Trips

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Mission trip season is upon us. This year we are taking two groups of students to vastly different places. Our scope and sequence for trips is to begin at the local level with middle school students and to build outward to regional and global missions as students move through their middle school and high school careers. This year we are doing an inner city trip nearby for middle and high school students and a disaster recovery trip for our upper classmen to Hazard, Kentucky.

Regardless of the trip you may be taking and where you are going, there are some essential things that all leaders of the trip should have ready to take with them and done before they leave. Today, I want to share some essentials that we take along on our trips and to hear what you take for your trips.

A good first aid kit.

Maybe this is because I have a background in security where we needed to be prepared for any situation and our first aid kits were stocked with everything and anything you could need. But I’ve also been in youth ministry long enough to know that you should prepare for the unexpected. This is why having a well stocked first aid kit is a necessity.

Too often we can default to a pre-made kit from the local mega store or Amazon, but they are usually packaged with very basic first aid items. My advice would be to buy a first aid backpack and stock it with your own items. That way you can switch out items for various trips and keep the consistent items in your bag to be adequately prepared.

Here are some things I would recommend for your kits: medicines like Benadryl, Advil, Tylenol, and Asprin; a good multi-tool; insurance info for you and your team; bandages including bandaids of various sizes, gauze, butterfly bandages, wraps and tape; eye wash; Propel powder or electrolyte pills; candy in case people have low blood sugar; intestinal medicine like Tums, Imodium, and Exlax; scissors; tweezers; splints and slings; cough drops; different ointments, wipes, and anti-itch creams; tissues; and hand sanitizer.

Coffee and tea.

You would think that these would be provided at any mission trip location, but more often than I’d care to admit I’ve found that isn’t the case. There have been multiple times where there isn’t coffee or the coffee is expired. That isn’t the fault of the agency or host because that isn’t their priority. But if coffee and tea are an important element for you and your leaders, it’s helpful for you to take some along as a way to care well for your team. I’d also encourage you to bring along a couple extra bags of coffee for your host as a way of blessing them.

Sunscreen, bug repellent, and remedies.

Many mission trips happen during the summer and require work that takes place outside. So having quality sunscreen and bug repellent appropriate for where you are serving is key. Make sure that you connect with the team or organization you are partnering with to get their recommendations for what to bring. It is also a good idea to have remedies for when they are needed. This could include things like aloe, after burn relief like Alocane, anti-itch cream, Cortizone, Neosporin, and similar products.

Flashlight, extra batteries, power strip, and adapters.

When it comes to being prepared for mission trips, flashlights and extra batteries are a must. Whether they’re being used to help on a project or for a game of manhunt or if you’re roughing it and need to find a bathroom at night, having a good flashlight and extra batteries are a necessity.

To go along with that, bringing a power strip and adapters when needed is also important. Have you ever been on a trip when there’s a limited amount of wall outlets? It can be incredibly difficult to charge everything and sometimes the outlets can get overloaded. So having a quality power strip is one of the best things you could bring along. If you’re traveling outside of the United States it is also important to have the right adapters for your electronics to ensure they will be charged and working abroad.

Travel documents.

Getting ready for a mission trip means having the right documentation for your destination. If you’re traveling nationally, you may not need much, but don’t only think in terms of passports. You may need an EZ-Pass or another electronic toll reader and you might need to have permission forms for various organizations that you’re partnering with. If you are traveling outside of the country you will need passports, immunization records, documentation for minors to travel abroad, and permission slips. These are some helpful things to think through and prepare for before leaving so you are properly equipped for your trip.

Extra money for incidentals.

The reality is that even with all the planning and support raising, incidentals will always occur on mission trips. Whether it’s purchasing extra supplies, taking a vehicle in for repairs, unexpected travel costs, or needing more food, things will happen. So make sure to have additional money for those moments. This can be both actual cash or making sure your credit cards have a proper credit line and. Doing this will help make sure you are adequately prepared. It is also important to make sure to put a travel notice on any credit cards. Some companies will put a fraud alert on your card if expenses are incurred that are outside your normal purchases, which can hamper your ability to use it on trips. So make sure you contact the company ahead of time to be prepared.

Communication.

If you’re traveling internationally or to an area that has poor cell reception, having a plan for communication back home or to needed contacts is important. This may mean purchasing an international phone and data plan, or scoping out if there will be access to WiFi in the area.

Protein bars and easy snacks.

I love to take snacks on any trip, but when you’re going on mission trips snacks aren’t always something we think about taking for a variety of reasons. But having some easy snacks and bars is essential because you may need them if someone is feeling lightheaded or faint from exertion, or for when your own student gets a little hangry. Some easy suggestions include Larabars, peanut butter crackers, protein bars, gummy candies or fruit snacks, and mints.

When you go on a mission trip, what are your must-haves?

Is it Wrong to Seek Advancement?

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When was the last time you thought about advancement in your position? Do you have any idea what that might look like? Does your church have a policy or program in place to help you advance and grow in your position?

How did those questions make you feel? I think that when many people enter into ministry they don’t often think about advancement. Sure, there might be the thought that advancement is “becoming the senior pastor,” but I would assert this is a false sense of advancement because not everyone is called to be a senior pastor.

Many people are called to be pastors but in a variety of roles because that is how God designed and gifted them. But if that is true, shouldn’t there be an opportunity to grow and advance in those positions? The answer is and should be “yes,” whether or not that is seen and understood by your superiors.

Before we even get to what your supervisors may think and desire for you, we must begin by looking internally to ascertain if this is the appropriate and needed advancement for ourselves. In order to help determine if you are correctly looking for advancement, it is helpful to ask the following questions.

Ask: Why?

There are a lot of “why” questions we could pose here. Why do I want this? Why am I not advancing? Why is advancement a good thing? Why should I want to advance? Asking “why” is all about authenticity. Are you being honest with yourself and with your employers? Was it your intent when you got hired to move forward? What does that even mean for you…what about for your church?

When we are thinking about advancement, the “why” question should force us to look inward. There are great reasons to move toward advancement, but there can also be selfish reasons that guide our desires. So by asking why, you are forcing yourself to think critically about your reasoning and desires.

Ask: What is my goal?

Often when we think about advancement we are thinking about position, title, and financial status. While none of these are inherently wrong, we should be aware of our true heart motivation for desiring advancement. I’ve worked in ministry circles long enough to watch people treat various ministries like stepping stones to get to the desired position of senior pastor. We can debate for days on why this is, the way churches are structured, how ministry schools train you to think, and the way churches elevate that position over others, but that would be missing the point.

The point is sometimes we value aspects of advancement that shouldn’t be our focus or desire. In ministry, we are called to shepherd and disciple those whom God has entrusted to our care, and to simply look for advancement without consideration of our true calling wouldn’t be honoring of that calling. I am not saying you shouldn’t think about yourself, your family, or your financial status, but we should be discerning our true goal. As we do this, it helps us think critically about how we minister and care for our people and it should also shape the authenticity we show to our church.

Ask: Whose desire is this?

Is it God’s desire or your own? You may have a desire or reason to seek advancement that is completely appropriate. You may need to advance to better support your family or pay off your debt. Those are valid and important reasons. However, there are times our desires aren’t centered properly, and that means we need to wisely discern whose desire we are following.

A metric we need to remember is that while our desires may not be wrong or improper, they aren’t ultimate. If you’re just getting an education to “move up” in your career, you aren’t necessarily listening to what God is saying, nor are you paying attention to the people you have been called to shepherd. Often our desires and God’s can go hand-in-hand, but there will be times that they don’t. A great way to help you discern this would be to bring an honest, trusted friend and mentor into the conversation to help you see whose desire you are following. Allow them to speak truth and help guide you in this process.

Ask: What does advancement mean for me?

Acknowledging what advancement looks like for you is important because it allows you to assess where you want to be and how you’re going to get there. It also gives you a starting point for conversations with your church and ministry. They may see advancement in terms of helping you grow in knowledge and education, but you may define it by title, position, or pay scale. Being able to define what advancement looks like gives you the ability to clearly and concisely communicate it. When you communicate what you see advancement as, it allows you to compare your perspective to that of your church and to see if they are in alignment.

At the end of the day, advancement isn’t wrong, but it is important to discern why we are seeking it, and how we are going about obtaining it. Growing and advancing in a career field is important, but it shouldn’t come at the cost of people. That goes for congregants and for you and your family. You should never see a ministry or church as a stepping stone or a means to an end, and likewise you shouldn’t just stay in a position if it is causing hurt and pain to you and your family. Discernment and wisdom from God and trusted mentors should always be a metric you seek out in this part of your career, and you should always be checking your heart.

My advice: always be a learner, always seek to grow, be honest about your desires and where your heart is, and always remember the calling God has given to you. Advancement isn’t wrong, but how we go about obtaining it is key.

Hosting a Meaningful Senior Commissioning

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It’s that time of year when we see all the graduation pictures, receive grad party announcements, and maybe even get invited to a graduation ceremony or two. We’ve written before about honoring seniors and helping to spiritually prepare them for college. In today’s post I want to focus in on one way to do that and offer some ways to do it well with a senior commissioning. I know for some ministries this time may have passed, but it doesn’t mean you can’t do something during the summer, or think about next year and how to impart new or different ideas into your current context and culture.

Let me first explain what I mean when I say senior commissioning. I grew up in churches that would recognize and celebrate seniors on a “senior Sunday,” and I must admit that this was my practice when I started working in student ministry. It usually comprises parading students onstage and, depending on the number, sharing their next steps. Then there’s usually a short word from the youth pastor followed by a brief prayer and applause from the congregation. There’s nothing wrong with this approach, but as I stepped back and assessed what we were doing and why we were doing it, I realized that there are more intentional, relational, and spiritual approaches we could take.

Out of that thought, and many refining steps along the way, we developed our senior commissioning. This is a multi-step approach to not only honoring seniors but also commissioning, encouraging, and preparing them for their next steps as they move beyond high school and student ministry. So let me explain the details for how this looks and how we strive to make this an intentional approach in our disciple-making process.

Communicate.

Months before we actually host our commissioning we reach out to our seniors and their families and let them know what will be happening. We also ask them to fill out a form that has specific information that we will utilize in a booklet for families and show on our screens during our commissioning in the church services. We ask for a senior photo, their favorite memories from their time in student ministries, what trips they went on with our program, what their plans are after graduation, and how can we pray for them. These pieces are all utilized to create a brochure that we give out to our congregants and families to highlight our students. We also continue to communicate with the seniors and families about what we are doing as we get closer to our commissioning ceremony.

Create gift bags.

We do a lot of gift bags throughout the year. We do leader gift bags for when they go on trips with us. There are gift bags for families when we host respite days. Gifts bags for our large training at the beginning of the school year. Gift bags at Christmas. And I’ll be honest, sometimes when you do a lot of gift bags, they begin to look the same. There may be subtle differences but they all have the same feel.

The reason I bring that up is because we want these bags to be thoughtful, intentional, relational, and student-specific. That means we have special name tags and personalized cards instead of a generic gift bag with a general card. We also add in cards signed by our whole staff team and a personalized letter signed by our student team and senior pastor letting them know we are for them and this is their church that loves them. We put in some candy because you know…student ministry. We put in celebratory items like glow sticks and confetti poppers. We get them either book about following Jesus in college or a devotional. Sometimes we throw in a gift card to a local dessert shop.

Purchase items for a reception.

When we host our senior commissioning, it isn’t just about bringing our students on stage and praying for them. That’s a big piece of what we do, but we also want to have a reception time to celebrate and honor the graduates. When you host a reception, you are highlighting the relational component of your ministry and valuing the personhood of each of your graduates. So think about what your reception could and should look like.

Our reception happens during our 10:30 a.m. service time, so we have light refreshments like mini bagels and small pastries. We also provide coffee and orange juice. At our church, most of our rooms are multipurpose which means they tend to have standard items that don’t necessarily feel inviting unless you’re intentional with the space. So we love to incorporate tablecloths, centerpieces, balloons, music, and even a fun backdrop for photos. The little touches make the reception feel more special and make our graduates feel seen and loved.

So think about what items you could purchase to make the reception a little more inviting and special. You don’t need to blow your budget to make an event special. It’s often little things like a flavored coffee creamer, a photo booth, tablecloths, balloons, or even just a welcoming space that truly make this a special moment for graduates and their families.

Have intentional time for families.

One thing I hear often from parents and students alike is how busy everyone is. I mean think about: when was the last time every one of your students showed up to youth group on time? Students are incredibly busy and running from one event to the next. The same is true for families, so much so that they often don’t get time to simply be together and pour into one another. One of the best parts of our senior commissioning is creating space for families to simply be together.

We carve out 20 minutes from our reception to give parents and families time to speak into their graduate and to encourage them. We don’t just spring this on them at the reception; we email out all the details ahead of time and even give them some prompts on what this time could entail. These are moments that the families can utilize however they want and we always get great feedback from them that this is one of their favorite parts.

Challenge and prayer.

We make sure to conclude the commissioning with a challenge and prayer time for our graduates. We want to challenge and encourage them to continue in their faith journey and to help them know that we are for them. We also take time to encourage and challenge parents. This is a time of change for parents and it is important to help them see these changes but also to show them ways to engage with the changes and still shepherd their graduate. This is not intended to take up a lot of time during the reception but instead is meant to provide guidance and encouragement in a short amount of time.

Connect grads with a college ministry.

I will be fully transparent with you and tell you that I struggled with this for many years. Not because I didn’t believe in it, but we just couldn’t seem to get the transition from high school to college ministry to work. This past year we have finally been able to see this transition start to work.

We begin by connecting our seniors with our college ministry leaders at the beginning of the school year. We also utilize our college leaders’ house as a Home Group location for our seniors once a month. Then our college leaders continue to connect with and invite the seniors to college student gatherings that are highly relational throughout the year. At our senior commissioning we invite our college leaders onstage with other church leaders and families to pray over our graduates, and then give our college ministry ample time to share during the reception. This has already started to reap rewards as many of our graduates are already attending our college ministry.

The Passage Ceremony: Celebrating Students’ Milestones

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Students have a lot of big milestones in their lives. There’s graduation from pre-k, kindergarten, and junior high. There’s turning 16. Becoming an Eagle Scout. Getting their license. Going to prom. Turning 18. Graduation from high school. And many more celebratory moments.

The sad truth is many of these milestones aren’t celebrated or honored for a variety of reasons. People are busy, so family and friends can’t always make it. There are conflicting schedules and events; people don’t always want to go to ceremonies because of the time commitment. And because there are so many moments in students’ lives, it is easy to assume you can skip one and simply show up at another.

The truth is these moments in students’ lives are pivotal and quite important in how they mentally develop and grow, the shaping of their identity, and their understanding of the Gospel. If these milestones are so important, let me pose a question: when was the last time your church celebrated these moments in the lives of your students? I don’t ask this question to shame or make us feel bad, but instead to push us to do some self-reflection. If I’m being honest, until moving to our current church, I never really considered these moments and didn’t do anything to celebrate them other than going to graduation parties.

But is that the best and only option? Or is there something more that we can be doing? The more I’ve thought about the ways we honor, celebrate, commission, and challenge our students, the more I want to share with you something that we have refined and honed over the past six years in order to do just that: The Passage Ceremony. I know, the name needs work, but let me highlight what this is and how we utilize this ceremony to honor and challenge our students. This isn’t a one size fits all approach, but instead is a resource you can adapt and leverage in your ministry setting and refine to make it beneficial for your context.

The Passage Ceremony.

In the course of middle school and high school ministry there are many key milestones that can and should be celebrated. We have chosen three aspects to focus on: transitioning into 6th grade (or middle school), transitioning into 9th grade, and high school graduation. The reason we chose to focus on these moments is because they are shared among students holistically. Not all students go to prom, not all students do extracurricular activities, not all students get their license at the same time. These three moments typically hit the majority of students and allow for the greatest impact. Therefore, the Passage Ceremony centers around these three “rites of passage.”

Our Passage Ceremony has a few key aspects to it. Here is what they include:

1. Food and community. We make sure to provide a lunch for the families who are coming to the ceremony and we utilize round tables to facilitate conversation and community. We also bring in our volunteer leaders to connect them with our students and families.

2. Explanation of the ceremony. We have someone stand up during the meal time to talk to families about why we are hosting the ceremony, what it is for, and to share our commitment to students and families.

3. Intentional time for parents to speak into the lives of students. We know families are busy and life gets crazy, so we carve out 30 minutes for parents and guardians to speak into the lives of their students. We provide some guidance for what this looks like but have found that parents typically come prepared and actually would desire more time because of how impactful it is.

4. Honoring of students. When families come back from their time of encouragement, we host the formal part of the ceremony. We call up students individually according to their grades and give them a gift. Before we call them up, we explain why we are doing this and the symbolism to our ceremony. It is a time of encouragement, celebration, and intentional discipleship.

We take time in the months leading up to The Passage Ceremony to communicate with families what we are doing and what we are asking of them. At the end of this post, I’ve included that letter for you to utilize if you would like.

How to utilize celebratory moments.

In the letter below, you will see some of the order and flow for this ceremony. Additional things we provide include a light luncheon, facilitating the ceremony, and having a time of celebration and recognition at the end. Here are some key things to highlight in celebratory moments:

1. Make sure to recognize key people. This could include parents, students, volunteer leaders, ministry leaders, and others. Recognizing and pointing to them helps to highlight the focus and who the event is for.

2. Have a good facilitator and communicator. When you are honoring students it is important to have someone who can speak truth and encouragement into their lives with intentionality. You don’t want someone who doesn’t know them or stumbles over what to say because that doesn’t communicate value and worth. But having someone who does communicate well helps your students know they are loved and have a place to call home.

3. Make the environment celebratory. This could be as simple as having food and music, or you could decorate your space with balloons and centerpieces, or you could provide gifts. Whatever you choose make sure to be intentional and seek to create an atmosphere that celebrates your students.

4. Connect them with their leaders. Bringing your leaders into these moments is key because it values them, connects them to their students, and introduces them to parents.

5. Pray over your students. Let them know that they are loved and seen, and that they matter to you and to God. So pray for them and be in their corner.

Letter to Families:

As I have served in student ministries, I have seen a strong desire in parents to lead and guide their children as disciples, but the big question has always been “how?” The Passage Ceremony is one way for us to offer guidance to you and your students by giving you time and space to have needed conversations and by allowing us to support one another in this ongoing discipleship process. Parents, church leadership, and volunteer leaders will be part of this ceremony to signify the student’s desire to live as a disciple of Jesus.

Ceremonies are not a regular part of our culture, but with purpose and direction they can have a powerful impact on the discipleship journey of students. The Passage Ceremony is designed for you, as parents or a significant person in a student’s life, to have the opportunity to personally and privately give spiritual guidance and discipleship to them. The spiritual guidance should focus on:

  1. Affirming your commitment to being faithful parents and supporters of your student(s);
  2. Presenting or reviewing clear and specific guidance and evaluation of your student(s) as they continue to live as disciples of Jesus who are sent to build the kingdom of God.

Our vision for this ceremony is threefold:

  1. To affirm God’s design for parents and supporters as the main disciple-maker of their children;
  2. To affirm our commitment to you as a church and specifically as a student ministry to walk and partner with you in this discipleship process;
  3. To provide a meaningful opportunity for you to partner with the church to mark this significant milestone in their life together and commission them to continue to live as a disciple of Jesus.

Ceremonies typically have a symbol attached to them. We request that you supply a special Bible to use as the symbol of this ceremony. In the past families have purchased a new study Bible or use a special Bible they already have. The NIV Bible is highly suggested since it is the translation we most often use at church. Feel free to supply whatever size or color you would like.

We highly recommend that you use the inside cover to write a special note of vision and blessing to your student. Please drop off your signed Bible to the Receptionist’s Office to allow time for our staff to write in it as well. This Bible will be presented to your student(s) at the ceremony. Should you need any assistance in finding or purchasing a Bible, please contact our team and we will do all we can to assist you.

We will also provide time and space for you as parents to speak encouragement, affirmation, and Biblical truth into the life of your student. I would encourage you to think through this ahead of time so you can share this with them on Sunday. You could share why you are proud of them, what you are looking forward to experiencing with them, your desire to walk with them through this next phase of life, the truth of what you have seen God do in their lives, a life verse that you chose for them and why you chose it, and your prayer for them going forward.