Tag: help

The Passage Ceremony: Celebrating Students’ Milestones

Posted on by Leave a comment

Students have a lot of big milestones in their lives. There’s graduation from pre-k, kindergarten, and junior high. There’s turning 16. Becoming an Eagle Scout. Getting their license. Going to prom. Turning 18. Graduation from high school. And many more celebratory moments.

The sad truth is many of these milestones aren’t celebrated or honored for a variety of reasons. People are busy, so family and friends can’t always make it. There are conflicting schedules and events; people don’t always want to go to ceremonies because of the time commitment. And because there are so many moments in students’ lives, it is easy to assume you can skip one and simply show up at another.

The truth is these moments in students’ lives are pivotal and quite important in how they mentally develop and grow, the shaping of their identity, and their understanding of the Gospel. If these milestones are so important, let me pose a question: when was the last time your church celebrated these moments in the lives of your students? I don’t ask this question to shame or make us feel bad, but instead to push us to do some self-reflection. If I’m being honest, until moving to our current church, I never really considered these moments and didn’t do anything to celebrate them other than going to graduation parties.

But is that the best and only option? Or is there something more that we can be doing? The more I’ve thought about the ways we honor, celebrate, commission, and challenge our students, the more I want to share with you something that we have refined and honed over the past six years in order to do just that: The Passage Ceremony. I know, the name needs work, but let me highlight what this is and how we utilize this ceremony to honor and challenge our students. This isn’t a one size fits all approach, but instead is a resource you can adapt and leverage in your ministry setting and refine to make it beneficial for your context.

The Passage Ceremony.

In the course of middle school and high school ministry there are many key milestones that can and should be celebrated. We have chosen three aspects to focus on: transitioning into 6th grade (or middle school), transitioning into 9th grade, and high school graduation. The reason we chose to focus on these moments is because they are shared among students holistically. Not all students go to prom, not all students do extracurricular activities, not all students get their license at the same time. These three moments typically hit the majority of students and allow for the greatest impact. Therefore, the Passage Ceremony centers around these three “rites of passage.”

Our Passage Ceremony has a few key aspects to it. Here is what they include:

1. Food and community. We make sure to provide a lunch for the families who are coming to the ceremony and we utilize round tables to facilitate conversation and community. We also bring in our volunteer leaders to connect them with our students and families.

2. Explanation of the ceremony. We have someone stand up during the meal time to talk to families about why we are hosting the ceremony, what it is for, and to share our commitment to students and families.

3. Intentional time for parents to speak into the lives of students. We know families are busy and life gets crazy, so we carve out 30 minutes for parents and guardians to speak into the lives of their students. We provide some guidance for what this looks like but have found that parents typically come prepared and actually would desire more time because of how impactful it is.

4. Honoring of students. When families come back from their time of encouragement, we host the formal part of the ceremony. We call up students individually according to their grades and give them a gift. Before we call them up, we explain why we are doing this and the symbolism to our ceremony. It is a time of encouragement, celebration, and intentional discipleship.

We take time in the months leading up to The Passage Ceremony to communicate with families what we are doing and what we are asking of them. At the end of this post, I’ve included that letter for you to utilize if you would like.

How to utilize celebratory moments.

In the letter below, you will see some of the order and flow for this ceremony. Additional things we provide include a light luncheon, facilitating the ceremony, and having a time of celebration and recognition at the end. Here are some key things to highlight in celebratory moments:

1. Make sure to recognize key people. This could include parents, students, volunteer leaders, ministry leaders, and others. Recognizing and pointing to them helps to highlight the focus and who the event is for.

2. Have a good facilitator and communicator. When you are honoring students it is important to have someone who can speak truth and encouragement into their lives with intentionality. You don’t want someone who doesn’t know them or stumbles over what to say because that doesn’t communicate value and worth. But having someone who does communicate well helps your students know they are loved and have a place to call home.

3. Make the environment celebratory. This could be as simple as having food and music, or you could decorate your space with balloons and centerpieces, or you could provide gifts. Whatever you choose make sure to be intentional and seek to create an atmosphere that celebrates your students.

4. Connect them with their leaders. Bringing your leaders into these moments is key because it values them, connects them to their students, and introduces them to parents.

5. Pray over your students. Let them know that they are loved and seen, and that they matter to you and to God. So pray for them and be in their corner.

Letter to Families:

As I have served in student ministries, I have seen a strong desire in parents to lead and guide their children as disciples, but the big question has always been “how?” The Passage Ceremony is one way for us to offer guidance to you and your students by giving you time and space to have needed conversations and by allowing us to support one another in this ongoing discipleship process. Parents, church leadership, and volunteer leaders will be part of this ceremony to signify the student’s desire to live as a disciple of Jesus.

Ceremonies are not a regular part of our culture, but with purpose and direction they can have a powerful impact on the discipleship journey of students. The Passage Ceremony is designed for you, as parents or a significant person in a student’s life, to have the opportunity to personally and privately give spiritual guidance and discipleship to them. The spiritual guidance should focus on:

  1. Affirming your commitment to being faithful parents and supporters of your student(s);
  2. Presenting or reviewing clear and specific guidance and evaluation of your student(s) as they continue to live as disciples of Jesus who are sent to build the kingdom of God.

Our vision for this ceremony is threefold:

  1. To affirm God’s design for parents and supporters as the main disciple-maker of their children;
  2. To affirm our commitment to you as a church and specifically as a student ministry to walk and partner with you in this discipleship process;
  3. To provide a meaningful opportunity for you to partner with the church to mark this significant milestone in their life together and commission them to continue to live as a disciple of Jesus.

Ceremonies typically have a symbol attached to them. We request that you supply a special Bible to use as the symbol of this ceremony. In the past families have purchased a new study Bible or use a special Bible they already have. The NIV Bible is highly suggested since it is the translation we most often use at church. Feel free to supply whatever size or color you would like.

We highly recommend that you use the inside cover to write a special note of vision and blessing to your student. Please drop off your signed Bible to the Receptionist’s Office to allow time for our staff to write in it as well. This Bible will be presented to your student(s) at the ceremony. Should you need any assistance in finding or purchasing a Bible, please contact our team and we will do all we can to assist you.

We will also provide time and space for you as parents to speak encouragement, affirmation, and Biblical truth into the life of your student. I would encourage you to think through this ahead of time so you can share this with them on Sunday. You could share why you are proud of them, what you are looking forward to experiencing with them, your desire to walk with them through this next phase of life, the truth of what you have seen God do in their lives, a life verse that you chose for them and why you chose it, and your prayer for them going forward.

5 Tips for Hosting an End of the School Year Celebration

Posted on by Leave a comment

We recently capped off our school year by hosting our “End of the Year Celebration.” We had local ice cream and other snacks, games, Drift Trikes, music, and small groups. It was an absolute blast with so many fun moments and memories.

Our rhythm has been that we scale back summer programming because we live in a tourist area. Our local populace leaves for vacation as the tourists come in, which presents unique circumstances to contend with. Our ministry engages the summer in a way that allows us to best minister to our students and families by hosting specific gatherings, events, and by incorporating different summer trips.

I know that not all of us enter the end of the school year in the same way. Many ministries run a full program year-round, so thinking about a year-end celebration may not sound like something you would host. But I would still encourage you, regardless of your ministry rhythms, to highlight the end of the school year for your students. There are certain milestones in our students’ lives that are important, but often slip by unnoticed, and this is one of them. Being able to recognize their hard work and achievement, and to celebrate the start of a new season, is important and will show them love and care.

If you host celebrations like these, how do you ensure they are successful and meaningful for your students while still supporting the vision and mission of your program? I want to share a few tips I have learned over the years that help to ensure that these moments are truly successful for your ministry, your leaders, and your students.

1. Make it relational and fun.

Year-end celebrations should be highly relational and centered around bringing students together to recognize the milestone. These are celebratory opportunities to engage and have fun with your students as they do the same with their friends. The end of the school year can be hyper-stressful and busy. Simply creating a space to have fun and celebrate with people who love and care about them gives students an opportunity to relax and feel seen and loved.

The focus of these celebrations should be about connection and community. So seek to have activities that bring people together, create moments for small groups to connect, provide free snacks, and encourage your leaders to hang out and connect with their students.

2. Utilize local resources.

One of my favorite things to do it support local small businesses whenever possible. We recently had a new ice creamery open in one of our nearby communities and we have partnered with them with great success. It isn’t just the local partnership that makes this a success. It’s the fact that our students know and love the ice creamery and when we announce we have them coming to an event, they are instantly excited and invite their friends. When you know your community resources and which ones attract students, you can utilize that resource to bless and engage your community.

3. Incorporate music, games, and activities.

One of the best things you can do is think about what type of environment you want for this event and what type of environment will bring in your students. One big thing you can do is have music playing that is fun and upbeat. Music helps to create an atmosphere and helps to ensure that there aren’t moments of awkward silence.

Think through the games and activities you’d like to have to celebrate this moment. You could have organized games or it could just be a free time type of night where students get to choose between multiple activities. I would also encourage you to not forget the students who aren’t game or large activity types of people. It is so important that those students know they are welcomed and valued in these moments. This could be as simple as setting up tables away from loud activities and speakers–but still within the space that everything is happening–which have board games, fidgets, coloring books, and other fun activities.

4. Make sure to speak truth to and pray for your students.

One of the things we need to remember is summer isn’t always fun or easy for all of our students. In fact, summer can be really difficult for students. There may be tensions and difficulties at home, they may lose a large piece of their community, there are shifts to rhythms and changes in schedules, there are decisions to be made about their future, and so many other factors competing for their focus. This isn’t true for all of our students, but it is important to remember these things because as we focus on the spiritual piece.

Make sure to carve out time speak a word of Biblical encouragement to your students and to pray for them. This doesn’t need to be a 45-minute lesson; it can be short and sweet but intentional and relationally-focused. The more authentic and intentional this time is, the more students will feel seen and understood.

5. Honor your leaders.

In as much as this is an event and celebration for your students, for many ministries these celebrations only happen because of your volunteers. So I would encourage you to find a way to honor and celebrate them in front of your students. This has a twofold benefit: it shows your leaders how appreciative you are of them, and it shows your students how important your leaders are. You are creating a culture that values leaders and students and highlights the necessity of a discipleship-centered ministry. All of this takes place as you point to your leaders and acknowledge them, their sacrifices, and their hard work.

What to do When Ministry Hurts

Posted on by Leave a comment

This weekend is Mother’s Day, and can I be honest? I really don’t like this weekend or Father’s Day either. Not because I don’t like my parents, I love them to death. But because this is a hard time for Elise and I as we walk through the infertility journey.

Celebrating with others is hard. Watching all the moms get flowers, cards, and brunch dates is difficult as we sit in our pew waiting and hoping. It’s hard when people ask me questions like, “Don’t you want kids?” Or, “How are you able to lead our kids when you don’t have your own?” In so many ways we can feel unseen and alone.

These questions aren’t unique to Elise and I. Many of us who serve in ministry have been hurt by insensitive or calloused remarks. Things like, “When will you grow up and be a real pastor?” “Youth ministry is just childcare for teenagers.” “Oh you went on a retreat…guess you used up your vacation time.” “Do you really think you’re called to be in ministry?” Or, “You’re a woman, you can’t be a pastor.”

Words matter, and the words we share have great power and impact. I’m not saying anything that those of us in ministry don’t already know. We know the power of words, how they can build up and make you feel on top of the world, and how they can rip your heart out and make you feel like nothing. Ministry hurts sometimes. I don’t think it’s always intentional, but it can often feel like it is crushing your soul. But should we just give up? Should we just roll over? Do we just take it on the chin? What do we do when ministry is hard?

Lean into your networks.

One of the best things I’ve done in ministry is get connected with people who are in similar life circumstances and ministry careers. Being able to talk to people who understand the complexities of ministry and working within a church is huge, especially when they are third parties. They are there to walk with you, love you, and challenge you. These are the people who are in your corner and will have your back.

Find solace in the communities you trust.

In the networks and communities you have, you will most likely find people who you can relate to and connect with in deeper ways. When I joined my cohort in 2021, I never considered how deep and meaningful those relationships would become. But even within that cohort, I connected at a deeper level with two others and as we grew in our friendships we were shocked at how similar our stories were. Because of that unique bond we were able to love, support, and challenge one another on a deeper level. Within your communities you will find people with whom you connect on a deeper level and those who can be an even stronger, supportive community.

Model a caring community to others.

Sometimes dealing with hurt, especially when it’s coming from within a church or ministry, means you need to be able to explain and model what a caring community looks like. Here is what I mean by saying this: sometimes people, and even church communities, don’t know or understand that what they are saying, doing, or implying is actually causing hurt. Whether it’s out of ignorance or lack of understanding, people can do and say things that hurt. Because of this, we may need to model and educate what a truly caring community looks like. In doing this, it isn’t about trying to be smarter or better but instead about helping your communities grow and become more like Jesus in how they love and care for one another. This isn’t easy, but it is something that could truly help generate change and growth.

Be honest with yourself.

There are times I just want to dismiss hurtful things that are said or done. I just want to push it down and pretend like it doesn’t hurt. But the more we dismiss our emotions or push them down to a place we think they won’t return from, the more we are hurting ourselves. It is okay to be honest, to say how you feel or how things have effected you. It’s not wrong to emote and display what you’re feeling. It’s not okay to bury those feelings or to lash out which will happen when you keep trying to push those emotions down.

So be honest with yourself and those closest to you. Let your feelings, emotions, and thoughts be known. If you’re hurting it’s okay to let that hurt be known to yourself and those closest to you. I will say this: it is okay to be honest with those who have said or done things to you (whether unintentionally or intentionally), but be mindful of how you do it and what you say. Words and approach matter deeply, especially when you’re in a leadership position. It doesn’t mean not sharing how you’re feeling, it means doing it in a way that helps them to understand and prayerfully evoke change.

Talk to a counselor.

One of the best things I have done since moving to Pennsylvania is start to see a counselor. It’s honestly helped me in so many ways. It allowed me to address past trauma, to understand the hurt I’ve experienced from churches, how to share my emotions and feelings with Elise, and how to handle different moments that arise each day that often seem out of my control (because they are). I know that in some ways there is still a stigma attached to seeing a counselor, but this will be something that truly will help you process and work through the hurt in your life. It isn’t a one-and-done type scenario. It may take months or years, but ultimately it will help you understand and heal from the hurt that you’ve experienced.

Be honest with your spouse and protect your family.

Sometimes we try to mask our pain from our spouse and family because we think are protecting them. Other times we mask the hurt to keep them from experiencing that same hurt and becoming embittered toward the church. However, that response is not only unhealthy and self-destructive, it will also harm the relationships you have with your family. They aren’t immune to the hurt you’re experiencing, and even when we think we hide it well, we really don’t. Being able to share where you’re at with your spouse and in appropriate measures with the rest of your family allows you to have a safe place, a place of respite.

Listen to honest critique and trusted people.

I’m not always the best at receiving critiques and criticism. It usually sits with me for a long time and I tend to over process what was shared and allow it to affect me in ways it shouldn’t. But I’ve learned that when I have trusted people in my life who I know are for me, I can hear their insight and critique better. When it comes to working in ministry we will often hear criticism, both helpful and not. But when we hear it, we should measure it and see if it is helpful and true. And sometimes figuring this out means going to those you trust and asking for insight even if it isn’t the insight you want. When you have trusted people you can go to, it helps you to self-reflect and self-assess to find ways that you may need to grow and mature. Bringing in trusted people gives you a safe place to process and grow.

7 Keys to a Successful Fundraiser

Posted on by Leave a comment

We just wrapped up our fundraiser for this year and it was one of the best ones yet! Not because of the money we raised–we won’t even total that up until later this week–but because of what the fundraiser accomplished and did for our students and our church.

It’s moments like these where I swell with pride as I watch my students serve, give, and live missionally. They were given a challenge and they rose to meet it! Don’t get me wrong, I was exhausted after the fundraiser and I napped hard when I got home, but this fundraiser was a true success for us.

I often ponder why the metrics we use to weigh the success of a fundraiser typically center on finances or on how many people show up. For our group, success isn’t focused on the money raised or the numbers but on how our students are able to serve and love others, and by how the fundraiser helps our church live out our mission. Looking at what occurred at our fundraiser, that’s why I believe we succeeded and will see huge benefits because of what happened.

Today, I want to highlight seven keys to a successful fundraiser and why these are important not just to your ministry but to your church overall.

1. Over-communicate.

This is something we need to do for our leaders, students, families, and our church community. Over-communicate what you’re doing, when you’re training, what roles students will have. The clearer and more concise the directions the better but remember that over-communication isn’t about inundating people’s inboxes with information. It’s about finding a balance: clearly sharing the information that’s needed and in the right methods.

Send emails or letters no more than once a week. Communicate all necessary information at training sessions and give handouts. Make sure you have leader meetings to be clear on what they need to know. When it comes to sharing with the church, think about the different ways you have to share information: mailers, emails, newsletters, bulletins, slides, announcements on stage, yard signs, knocking on doors, or whatever other ways there are to dispurse information. The ability to leverage multiple opportunities will help ensure that your message is heard and received.

2. Set clear expectations.

Working with students has taught me a lot but something I learned very quickly is the importance of clear expectations and rules. I was running a game one time and I thought I had all the rules figured out, when halfway through one of the junior guys let me and the whole group know I was wrong because he googled the answer. Well I very quickly instituted a no phones rule for our games to make sure that didn’t happen again. What I learned is that expectations are highly important and even when we think students aren’t listening, they actually are. Setting clear expectations and guidelines will help not only your fundraiser succeed but your students as well. You are setting them up for success and giving them the parameters in order to do so.

3. Focus on creating community and fostering relationships.

One of the things I love to do with student fundraisers is find ways for them to engage in inter-generational moments with the larger church body. Whether it’s having them serve together, finding ways to engage in conversations, or having older generations pray over students, these are opportunities that will help relationships and community flourish in your church. The more intentional we are at helping to develop relationships and community, the more we will see buy-in to the mission and vision of the church as well as student ministry. When people are able to grow together as a community it fosters unity and a desire to see the Gospel go forth.

4. Tell stories.

This is something I love to do. Most people know that I love to tell stories and incorporate them into teaching opportunities. I think there is an inherent beauty and strength to sharing stories because they bring people in, showcase the needs of others, and highlight the work of God in people’s lives. I think that’s partly why Jesus used stories throughout His ministry.

When we tell stories of lives that have been changed (think about your students’ lives and the lives of those you served) it allows you to show people the power of the Gospel and the necessity of student mission trips. Telling stories also provides a creative way to ask for support. Rather than simply asking people to give, you are painting a picture about why they should give because you’re showing what their giving has accomplished.

5. Utilize training sessions.

Before any fundraiser it is imperative that you take your team through training. These trainings aren’t meant to just be informational, but should also focus on team building and unity. When you can approach training with a desire to see your students succeed and to help them grow in their relationship with Jesus, it helps to shift the focus of the time. Sessions aren’t simply focused on telling students what to do or not to do. Instead, they’re focused on helping your students to mature in their relationship with Jesus as they care about and serve others.

6. Foster discipleship opportunities.

I love watching leaders pour into the lives of students, especially when the relationships are inter-generational. But even more encouraging has been watching our church community love, support, and intentionally invest in the lives of students. I’ve witnessed older adults engage with our students and build ongoing relationships where they continue to pour into their lives and support them even beyond high school. These are moments that are pivotal for students and will help them grow in their relationship with Jesus. Thinking about how you can foster these relationships will help to strengthen your group as a whole.

7. Incorporate prayer.

One of the things we highlight in our fundraising efforts is that the fundraiser isn’t just about financial support. Prayer support is vital to our mission succeeding and because of that we must be intentional in garnering the prayer support necessary for our trips. You can incorporate prayer in other ways as well. Ask students to pray at meetings and training sessions, hand out prayer cards at fundraisers, have leaders or staff or elders pray over your students at fundraisers, or even have your students pray for the church. These moments will help your students not only grow in their faith journey but will also help them to see the power and necessity of prayer in each of our lives.

Why Staff Reviews are Important

Posted on by Leave a comment

What comes to mind when you hear the words “staff review”? I know I tend to cringe a little and start thinking about my review and if I have met the expectations of my job. I am my own worst critic and tend to hold myself to higher standards than are expected.

But what if you have staff reporting to you? What comes to your mind when you think of conducting staff reviews? Do you have a methodology? Does your staff know how reviews are conducted? How often are they done?

Reviews tend to get a bad rap as many of us have either experienced an unhealthy or unhelpful review and many others have potentially never had a review. And it seems that this is only compounded within church circles. Many friends of mine have said that their reviews are not helpful or have caught them off guard. They haven’t been guided in how to give reviews, or reviews have never happened.

In this post my intent is twofold: to help you understand how reviews are helpful and beneficial for you, and how to conduct reviews for those who report to you. Reviews don’t need to be scary, uneasy, or difficult to conduct. They should be beneficial, encouraging and shaping, and strengthening for all involved.

Be honest.

Whether you are conducting the review or receiving one, honesty is paramount. If you disagree with something that is said, share it. If you’re providing feedback, be clear and transparent. These moments don’t need to be combative or critical, but by providing honest and clear insight and critiques you and your staff will grow and flourish. When we aren’t honest or beat around the bush, it causes a lack of clarity and leads to tensions, frustrations, and unmet expectations.

Have clear expectations.

Expectations are a must for anyone conducting or receiving a review. Clearly articulating what is expected and needed from the person receiving the review allows them to know how to best perform and excel at their job and in its functions. When the person receives those expectations, they know how to grow and mature in their role and they clearly know what their next review will focus on. If you are the one administering the review this allows you to lead well and hold your team accountable for the expectations you have set. This also helps there to be clarity and no unmet expectations for the reviewer or the reviewed.

Set up a timeline for reviews.

When it comes to holding reviews for your team, communicate your rhythm for conducting them. A good metric for new staff is to do a 90-day review, a six-month review, and then an annual one. For staff that has been with you for more than a year, conducting annual reviews is a great way to continually walk with your team. However, you may find it better to host six-month reviews because it allows you and your team to focus on or reset expectations. Whatever your rhythm looks like, let me encourage you to honor it and be consistent. Nothing tells a staff member that they don’t matter like not giving them a review. While they can be intimidating, not getting a review devalues someone and takes away their dignity and worth. So be consistent with offering reviews and keeping to your rhythm.

Communicate clearly.

Whether you are receiving a review or conducting the review, be sure to communicate clearly and concisely. A productive review process should allow both parties to be honest and clear with what they are saying, hearing, and acknowledging. Being clear and concise means that everyone is on the same page with what is being shared. It doesn’t mean everyone agrees but it does mean everyone is heard and their words are valued and received.

Highlight strengths and areas for improvement.

A good review highlights both strengths and growth areas. Everyone always has areas in which to grow, and a good review will not only indicate those areas, it will provide opportunities to take action steps and develop those areas. A good reviewer will also be kindly honest about growth areas rather than trying to sugarcoat them or act like everything is perfect. When you highlight the strengths of the person being reviewed, make sure to celebrate the wins and ways in which they used their strengths well.

Listen well.

One of the best things you can do in a review, regardless of whether you are receiving or administering it, is to listen to what is being said. The key to listening well is not to listen for faults or issues, but to listen for what is truly being said. Engaging in active listening helps you to truly understand what is being said as you look for key things and ask follow-up questions to gain clarity. If you are told you need to show up on time, a good response would be to ask if you had not already been doing so or to clarify what on time means for your supervisor as it may look different.

Another aspect of listening well is that it highlights the value and worth of the other person. It shows intentionality, care, and a desire for authentic community which are all hallmarks to a successful ministry.

Ask questions.

A good review allows for both the reviewer and the person being reviewed to ask questions. A reviewer will ask follow up questions, questions to guide reflection and perspective, and questions to clarify that both parties are on the same page. When someone is being reviewed, they should ask questions to clarify what is being shared and also to find ways to improve based on critiques and guidance.

Be relational and show care.

This is a fine line when it comes to a review because you must balance the professional relationship and the personal relationship. There is a professional responsibility for a supervisor to supervise, but due to working in a church environment, we should also care about the individual at a deeper, more relational level. You shouldn’t sacrifice one for the other, but instead seek to balance them well. This means not just indicating areas of improvement but also helping them to grow and walking with them in it. This approach also allows you to speak truth but in a loving and honest way that highlights how you are for the person. This will also help the person receiving the review to feel the permission to speak honestly and directly with their supervisor in an effort to gain clarity and direction.

Pray for them.

I think prayer is something we should incorporate into our daily rhythms and into the review process. When we pour into our team and are relational, we get to know more about them beyond simple job performance or functionality. We get to know them on a personal level which means we have an opportunity to be for them, and a great way to embrace that is through prayer.

Pray for them during the review process, but don’t make it a holier-than-thou type of prayer. Make it authentic and relational. Don’t focus simply on the job, but ask how you can pray for them now and over the next period of time. Doing this will not only help to strengthen relational rapport, it will allow you to embrace the leadership God has given to you as you truly shepherd those He has placed under your care.

The Value of Community Partnerships

Posted on by Leave a comment

As a church and specifically as a student ministry we are blessed to have multiple community partnerships. Throughout our time in Hershey I have made it a priority to reach out to local restaurants, bakeries, community centers, organizations, and product service companies. And through that we have formed some amazing partnerships in which we have clearly seen God work.

We partnered with a local product service company to purchase Christmas gifts for our leaders and through those interactions we saw our contact start attending our church and become a member as well. Last year, we partnered with a local ice cream shop for a student event. The owner is a single parent and she and her team (all high school students) were so blown away by how our students and church treated them that they have offered to help us out whenever. This relationship was truly highlighted when the owner called us because she had a power failure and needed a place to keep her product. She is unchurched and as far as we can tell not a follower of Jesus. But she felt comfortable enough to reach out because she saw our church and our community as a safe and caring space.

But why should we utilize local community partnerships, especially if we can find cheaper options online? Is there a benefit? Is it worth it in the long run? Today, I want to highlight why I think these community partnerships are important and how these relationships can benefit all involved.

Think about who you will partner with.

This is key when it comes to building partnerships and making sure you are highlighting your vision and mission for your ministry. For each ministry or church, the organizations and people you partner with may look different, but there should be a purpose for who you partner with. For instance, we partnered with the local ice cream shop because it resonates with our students and presents an easy invite opportunity which meets a part of our vision. When we partner with local service companies for our t-shirts and branding, it allows for us to support a local organization, build relationships, and provide quality products, all of which are wins for us. So thinking through who you will partner with allows you to have the greatest impact and still hold to your vision and mission.

Always be mindful of follow up.

Sometimes it’s easy to utilize a vendor and after the event or function is done, simply not engage further. I don’t think this is out of any ill-will or malcontent, but because we have been conditioned that once we are done utilizing the service, contact doesn’t need to continue. I mean think about when you last followed up with a gas station attendant or your delivery driver. We don’t often do that, but when we do it shows intentionality and a desire to love and care for your community.

If you utilize a local company, follow up with them in various ways. Send them a Christmas card or show up with Christmas cookies, pop in with coffees for the staff, send them an update on how their product or expertise helped the program or students. If their products benefited others or were used on a trip, send them some photos and an update. Or you could simply show up to say hi and see how they’re doing. You could go to the shop often to just purchase products and say hello. It isn’t about “missionary dating” but instead focused on building relationships and caring for the community.

Show intentionality.

This is key when it comes to building partnerships. There should be an intentionality and missional approach to what we are doing, but we shouldn’t look at these individuals and companies as projects. Instead we should see this as an opportunity to bless, encourage, and show people who Jesus is. So as you think through your partnerships, think about how you can continue to build relationships. When we partner with different places and people, we think about what we need for our ministry and what would help it be a success. That means when we bring in a local ice creamery to cater an event, we encourage our people to go visit them, we highlight them to our students, we get to know the people serving and the owner, and we actually visit them at other times. You can do this with any partnership. Showing intentionality and engaging in relational community will highlight how important these relationships are, and it will help you build connections and relationships that will allow the Gospel to be shared.

Tip well.

This is a big thing for churches and ministries. A lot of times, Christians and churches garner a reputation for being cheap or poor tippers. If you’ve heard horror stories about tracts being left instead of a tip, they aren’t just stories; they’re true. Instead, when appropriate, it is a good idea to tip and tip well. If you’re using a local delivery service, tip the driver. Utilizing a local food vendor? Make sure to provide them with a generous tip to show them you care. Often times, people’s livelihoods are connected to their jobs, especially small local companies. So tipping well actually could make a huge impact in their lives and will be a welcomed income boost.

Build relationships and invite people into your community.

As you utilize local businesses and partnerships it allows you to build relationships and invite people into your church community. These are moments to foster relationships and show people the love of Jesus. In doing this you are letting them know that you see them as more than just a vendor but as a person that you care about. Pouring into the community should be an opportunity to care well for others and show them the power of the love of God. So invest in those relationships, be a resource and a place of hope, and value the person with whom you are interacting.

How to Create Intentional Small Groups

Posted on by Leave a comment

Small groups are a huge part of our weekly gatherings. During our Wednesday night programming, we try to have our students in small groups for 45-60 minutes at minimum. Our rationale in pursuing this goal comes from our vision which is all about discipleship. Everything we do within our program is focused on growing disciples who make disciples, and we want to reflect that even within our small groups.

In talking with other youth workers, I am acutely aware that having small groups, let alone small groups that last for an hour or more, can be difficult. Not because we disagree on the premise or importance of small groups, but because you may be lacking the necessary leaders, space, or even the structure.

First, let me encourage you that this doesn’t happen overnight. This has been something I have been working toward since I started at our church over five years ago. If you’re desiring small groups but they haven’t taken off or you’re struggling to keep them going, take heart! It isn’t a flip of the switch type of change, but truly a culture shift, and that takes time. Keep pressing on, keep seeking to shift the culture, seek to embrace discipleship, and trust that God will work in and through that vision.

Today, I want to offer some ways to help your small group times, no matter how long, be more intentional in order to better minister to your students and to help your small groups flourish.

1. Train your leaders.

The key to any successful small group is having leaders who are trained and equipped to lead well. There will always be certain leaders who know what they’re doing, but there will also be those who haven’t served in this way before but have a heart and passion to do so. Helping your leaders grow and develop in this area will allow them to be intentional and thoughtful in how they lead and disciple their students. The better trained your leaders are, the better equipped and prepared they will be to lead and guide the students in their groups.

2. Continue to talk about the why.

This is important to do with both leaders and students. Essentially you are casting the vision for why you have small groups, but you should also share the benefits and rewards that come from them. You should share about how small groups create lasting relationships and friendships, how they allow for growth and maturity, the safe space they offer for honest conversations, and the opportunity for authenticity. The more you cast the vision and talk about why you are utilizing small groups, the more it will become a part of the DNA of your ministry.

3. Engage with feedback and critique.

Sometimes it is difficult to hear criticism or feedback on something you have put time, effort, and passion into. But if we are honest, feedback and critiques help us to grow and mature, and make necessary changes. Throughout my time in ministry, I have continued to evolve how I train and lead my small group leaders. And if I’m honest, it isn’t because I observed or found things to change. It was through thoughtful and helpful feedback and insight from my leaders and my students.

I’ve changed what I provide to my leaders with ahead of time. I’ve adapted the questions I give to my small group leaders. I’ve adapted the length of time I give to groups. All of this has come about by listening and engaging with feedback that was shared. Now I will say this: some feedback may not be helpful and even if it is, you don’t always need to change things. Sometimes engaging with feedback means listening, responding, and thinking about what was shared, but not necessarily making changes. That’s okay, but I would encourage you to give thoughtful responses to whomever is sharing feedback and to let them know your perspective and rationale.

4. Provide the necessary resources.

Small groups can be difficult and challenging. Students can be unruly and unfocused. There are difficult questions and challenging circumstances. And then leaders have to guide discussion and application. Considering all of these things, providing resources is not only important but necessary. Depending on your ministry context these resources could look different but a few things that will help leaders across the board include small group questions, filled in note sheets, a synopsis of the lesson and desired discussions for small groups, and additional study materials or resources. This may require more work on the front end for ministry leaders, but you will see the rewards that will materialize through your small groups.

5. Encourage relational discipleship.

This is a big piece of successful small groups. Leaders who aren’t simply trying to fill students with knowledge and theology, but instead are willing to walk with and love students is the key to having students grow and mature. When leaders enjoy spending time and walking spiritually with their students, you will see a great impact in the lives of young people. So encourage your leaders to invest more than just coming to small group. Challenge them to go to games and music events their students are in. Encourage them to engage in discipleship at coffee shops or by grabbing ice cream with a student or two. While these may seem like small things, these moments will truly impact your students and help them to see that walking with Jesus isn’t just something for church but a lifestyle.

6. Provide the right space.

I’m not saying that every space needs to be beautiful and cozy and coffee shop-like. But if you can find a space that has chairs and maybe a table, adequate sound barriers so students aren’t distracted, and a space the group can call their own, the more students will likely feel able to let their guard down and be transparent with one another. It is about having the right atmosphere and space for students to engage in authentic conversations and share life with one another. Even if you don’t have the best of locations, keeping students in the same space each week so there is consistency is huge. You can even randomly bless the group with a snack or surprise to encourage them and help to create the sense of community and warmth that the space needs for the group to flourish.

5 Tips to Help You Decompress Well

Posted on by Leave a comment

Have you ever come home from work and felt like you’re still carrying the weight of everything from the day? Has what happened at youth group affected your entire day and kept you from sleeping? Have you struggled to not let work occupy your mind during your days off? Has work ever kept you from engaging or fully engaging with family?

Let’s be honest with each other: ministry is more than a job and due to various reasons we tend to give it more space in our lives than we should. I don’t believe the reasons we may do so are inherently wrong, but we have allowed them to take precedence. When this happens it actually interferes with our relationships, our decompression and time away from work, and it may also affect our relationship with Jesus and the church.

Ministry is an important calling but it is never meant to keep us from our relationships with God or our family, nor is it meant to keep us constantly working and never pausing to catch our breath and refresh. That means we must create boundaries and space to decompress and center ourselves so we can continue to do the work to which we have been called. Today, I want to share some ways that help me to decompress in an effort to help you create space and opportunities to do the same. These are not a one-size-fits-all approach, but perhaps these observations may be helpful and give you an opportunity to create your own boundaries and ways to decompress.

1. Turn your phone on “do not disturb.”

This is something I’ve been doing for the past year or so and let me tell you, it has been one of the best decisions I have ever made! Well that and deleting social media. Not having the constant tension or phantom leg vibrations from your phone going off and wondering what is happening is such a relief. Aside from the release of your phone continually going off, this also allows you to be wholly present in whatever circumstance you find yourself. You can focus on relationships over the electronics in your pocket, and you can let go of the tension that being “always on” cultivates in your heart and mind.

2. Leave your work stuff out of sight.

I find that if my work stuff (think laptop, sermon materials, etc.) is close at hand or always in my line of sight, I tend to be more willing to engage with it and do work even when I’m off. It seems that if something is visible, it then enters into our mind and never allows us to switch off. Instead, putting work stuff in a specific spot like an office or spare room or even leaving work stuff at work will be a huge help. I keep all of my stuff in my backpack and only take it out if, and only if, it is a necessity. Sometimes I even leave my laptop at work intentionally so as not to be distracted from the relationships at home and from decompression time.

3. Find someone to talk to other than your spouse.

Let me say this clearly before assumptions are made: you should always communicate and share what is going on at work and in your heart and mind with your spouse. You shouldn’t keep things from them. What I am advocating for is having someone you can go to who is a trusted third party. Ideally, this person isn’t connected to your church and is someone who you can speak with honestly. This should be someone who will also speak honestly with you and give you helpful feedback and critiques when needed.

4. Change your setting.

No, don’t quit, unless that would be the best thing for you and your family. But think about taking a break or vacation. It doesn’t have to be long or far away, but changing your surroundings and getting away for a little while is healthy. In order to do that well though, you must not take along work and things to do for work. Instead you need to allow for your mind, body, and soul to rest and breathe. This may mean you need to do an unplugged retreat or you may need to find how many days it takes you to stop focusing on work so you can truly take time to rest after that period has elapsed. It may mean you just need to get out in nature and go for a hike on your own, with your spouse, or with close friends. It may also be simply not going into the office and spending the day at home in your space with loved ones without the distractions of work.

5. Be willing to say “no.”

No is not a four letter word. In fact it is a word we should utilize in our vocabulary more often. If you’re like me, saying no is not easy. Sometimes when I say no I feel like I’m letting people down or I’m not doing enough. But that isn’t the case. Saying no allows you to create healthy rhythms and establish a balance that is necessary for anyone, but especially those in ministry. Saying no to additional hours to spend time with family is a good thing. Saying no because you’re at capacity is a good thing. Saying no to some things is not saying no to everything. It is about being intentional in what you say yes to, which means having to say no to other areas. It is about identifying priorities and what is most important and putting those things in the appropriate order.

5 Factors to Facilitating a Mission Trip

Posted on by Leave a comment

We are beginning to start our mission trip training for this summer. With two trips planned and two unique teams going, we need to make sure our students are adequately prepared and trained in order to best grow and serve. Our summer ministry rhythm alternates between doing some type of retreat or conference one year and a mission trip the following year. Regardless of whether it is a mission trip year or not, part of our vision for our program is to incorporate missional opportunities in all of our trips because of the mission Christ gave to all of His followers.

What that means is we are always approaching our trips with a mission-centered focus. In order to do that well, we must think through some key aspects. Mission trips that are just haphazardly thrown together are not all together a bad thing as opportunities may just present themselves. But the more intentional we are in thinking through how we can shape and facilitate the trip in an impactful and meaningful way, the better prepared we will be and our students will reap the spiritual benefits.

The points below are intended for those who are planning their own trips and not necessarily partnering with a mission organization. However, I believe these points translate into either type of trip. If you go with an organization some of the points may already be figured out for you. These are key avenues to engage during the very beginning of mission trip planning and are designed to help the main trip leader best prepare themselves and their team for the upcoming training and trip.

1. Know your objectives.

Mission trips are a wonderful opportunity to not only help your students grow spiritually but also to bless others through your actions and care. In order to achieve both of those realities, there need to be clearly stated objectives. If you know the objectives of your trip it allows you to shape and plan accordingly so you can accomplish said objectives.

Your objectives can be focused on the spiritual growth of your students, skill sets that need to be learned, tasks that need to be accomplished before and during the trip, building relationships within the team and with the community you’re serving, or whatever else you see as a goal for your trip. When you have your objectives focused and spelled out, you will then be able to guide and shape your trip and team accordingly.

2. Clearly communicate expectations.

Whether you are setting up team meetings, explaining guidelines for the location, sharing team member requirements, or detailing work expectations on the trip, the ability to clearly communicate expectations will help set your team up for success. This is true even when you are advertising the trip to your students. The clearer and more concise your communication, the more apt your people will be to understand and follow what you are asking of them.

When it comes to expectations for your students, never assume they know what they are even if you have taken them on prior trips. Each mission trip will be unique which means the expectations will be as well. So be clear, concise, and direct with expectations in order to set your team up for success.

3. Utilize team training.

Training for mission trips is a must. Without training you will be setting your team up for dysfunction and potential failure. Training allows the group to grow and deepen relationships, engage in team building, grow in the skill sets needed on the trip, have a better understanding of how to minister to the community you are serving, and to help each team member know more about themselves personally.

Training can include activities to simulate what you will be doing, practice or organize different elements needed for the trip, complete personality assessments, or engage in prayer times, team building, or evangelism and prayer training. It can also include watching videos or reading helpful books, bringing in teachers to help equip your team, or whatever else you find beneficial. These do not need to be exceedingly long or every week, but I would recommend starting training sessions 4-6 months before you are to leave and averaging 1-2 a month.

4. Highlight flexibility.

If you have ever led a student trip before you know the importance of flexibility. But often times our students never see that part of the trip because they are only engaging the trip not serving behind the scenes. That’s one of the key differences between a retreat or camp and a mission trip. On a mission trip students are serving and leading, not simply consuming. So helping your students understand flexibility, why it is necessary, and how it may look on the trip will help to strengthen and equip your team to do their best work and be for one another and the community you are serving.

5. Build your leadership team ahead of time.

As you are beginning to prepare for your trip it is important to recruit the necessary leaders for the trip before you begin to advertise it to your students. This allows you to have the appropriate student-to-leader ratios and it also helps you to have the leaders needed for the trip. We all have amazing leaders who serve in our ministries but not all of those leaders may want or be able to serve on a mission trip. So figuring out who can and should go ahead of time allows you to be better prepared for the trip by having your leadership team in place.

The Importance of Training Leaders

Posted on by Leave a comment

March Madness is in full swing and we love it in our house. (Let’s go Hawkeyes!!) As we have been watching it there are segments about the teams, players, and coaches that highlight how they made it into the tournament. In almost every single segment there is a focus on the training and community that the players and coaches have, and it highlights how necessary those components are to a championship level team.

The same can be said of our leaders: without the proper training and community we will not have the higher caliber teams we desire to help disciple our students. We must intentionally focus on generating training for our leaders in order to help them grow and mature in their skill sets and talents so they have the best opportunity to lead and pour into their students. But the question we need to think through is this: what is drawing our leaders to participate in training?

Today, I want to highlight some key reasons why leader training is important and necessary. These are aspects you can communicate out to your leaders in order to generate excitement and anticipation for the training you will be hosting. If you’re looking for ways to make leader training more than “typical training,” check out this post for some helpful resources.

It values our leaders and what they are doing.

When we host training opportunities it communicates that we see our leaders and value them enough to care about their growth and development. Training tells our leaders we desire for their gifts and strengths to be developed and we want to encourage them to be stretched and grown. Training shows them that they aren’t simply a warm body but a needed and integral part of the ministry and you want to help to develop them as they serve the ministry.

It encourages of growth.

Good leaders replicate leaders. When you are growing and developing it will be replicated to your people because you have seen its worth and value and want to share that with your team. This mentality will help your leaders to not only be excited about training but to also see opportunities for personal growth and development.

It allows us to share the “why” and the “value.”

Training allows you as the ministry leader to highlight why you are doing what you are doing, and the importance and value to what you are doing. There will be moments or seasons in every leader’s life where they ask, “Why am I still doing this?” It may be because of a tough interaction with a student, or a difficult season with a small group, or not seeing change in the lives of their students. Discouragement can happen to anyone. Instead of resting in it we need to help our leaders remember why we are doing what we are doing and the value of pouring into young people. Reminding them of these aspects will help to encourage, strengthen, and challenge your leaders to persevere and continue to pour into their students.

It builds community and unity.

Typically, teams are made of very different and unique people which is probably true of your volunteer leaders. I know I have people with different personalities, ages, backgrounds, influences, and skill sets and when you ask them to lead together it may seem like a tall task. But when you host trainings it allows you to help your team build community and unity by bringing them together, highlighting different gifts and skill sets, and allowing them to have fun together.

One of the things I love to do at our trainings is have food, partly because I like to eat but also because food fosters conversation and community. There’s a reason people tend to be more chatty around a table or at a restaurant. It’s because food helps us to lower our walls. So having food is a great opportunity to encourage community. You can also add in a mixer or some type of activity to get your group engaging with one another, and you can incorporate trainings that highlight unity and working together through differences. These types of atmospheres will help your team grow closer together as you unite to reach your students with the Gospel.

It allows us to answer questions our leaders have.

Our leaders are always being peppered with questions from students or they have questions for us about topics students raise. I try to be as helpful as I can during our programming, but often that doesn’t present the adequate amount of time needed to address questions. I have also noticed that if one leader has a question, whether their own or one raised by their small group, other leaders tend to have the same or similar questions as well.

Trainings allow us to go in-depth on questions our leaders are being asked. It also gives you another opportunity to help foster community and unity as leaders realize they aren’t alone in dealing with these questions and topics. These opportunities allow us to provide insight, guidance, and resources to our people to help them work with and love their students well.

I would also encourage you to utilize different voices when answering these questions. You may have veteran youth leaders who have already dealt with these topics and inviting them to share will do amazing things for your other volunteers. Also, consider bringing in outside personnel if applicable to help handle some of the questions and topics that are outside of your skill set or expertise.

It provides an opportunity to focus on your mission and vision.

When we take our leaders through training opportunities, it allows you to continue to drip your mission and vision into all that you do. You can help your leaders focus and remember what the ministry is striving to do. So as you walk through your training objectives, remember to bring it back to how these trainings help to embrace and advance your missional philosophy.

It allows your team to have fun together.

I love getting our leadership teams together because it provides an opportunity to hang out and enjoy life with one another. We are blessed to have leaders who enjoy spending time together and these trainings allow extended opportunities for them to fellowship and have fun. This happens over meals, through team building activities and icebreakers, and by creating intentional moments of community at each of our training events. These moments help your team to truly gel and have a good time with one another while still being on mission together for the advancement of the Gospel.