Tag: help

Trip Tricks: Crafting a Packing List for Students

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As you plan different trips throughout the year, it is imperative to share a packing list with students and families to help them prepare for the specific trip they will be going on. Each trip and location is unique and they will most likely provide you with site- and trip-specific items you need. Think winter gear for a winter retreat and work gloves and boots for a mission trip.

But what are some packing list items that transcend trip types and can be utilized across the board? I’m so glad you asked because that is the focus of this post. The items shared today are meant to be repurposed from trip to trip so you don’t have to rewrite the same list over and over, but instead can add trip-specific items as needed.

Sleeping bag or sheets.

No matter where you take students, the reality is they will most likely need bedding of some kind. Mattresses may be provided but typically there are no sheets nor blankets. So reminding students to bring a sleeping bag or twin-size sheet set is imperative to helping them have a great trip.

A pillow.

Yes, could have put this with the sleeping bag and sheets, but I have found that students miss this item if it is not listed separately. Students tend to forget a pillow more often than not and giving it its own item line is key to helping them see it and remember it.

Clothing.

Each trip will require trip-specific clothing (think work clothes or winter gear), but there’s always typical clothing that will be needed on each trip. Encourage your students to pack sleepwear, clothing for activities (think gym games or outdoor activities), casual clothing for just hanging out, swimsuits when applicable, and clothing for any competitions, theme nights, or group activities.

Shoes.

Similar to the pillow addendum, students are prone to forgetting their shoes. And not just for a specific activity but all shoes except for the ones on their feet. Which given the time of year, those shoes (like Crocs and slides), will not be appropriate for the various activities at the site you’re going to.

So, when it comes to shoes, highlight which ones they need to bring. Think about shoes for various activities like shower shoes, gym shoes, slides, casual shoes, snow boots, work shoes, shoes for outdoor activities, and whatever else is necessary for your trip.

Toiletries.

As much as I’d love to think toiletries are basically understood, I’ve worked in student ministry for too long to believe that. And I’m guessing you may have too.

Helping students remember things like soap, shampoo, deodorant, toothpaste, a toothbrush, medicine, and towels and washcloths makes a huge difference when you’re going on trips. It’s also a good idea to encourage your students to bring a shower caddy or gym bag if they need to utilize a bathhouse or shared bath area.

Bible, pen, and journal.

When you’re going on a retreat, to a camp, or on a mission trip, typically you will have someone sharing some sort of message or devotional. You will probably be encouraging your students to do devotionals or a quiet time as well. Reminding them to bring these supplies on the trip helps to ensure they are prepared to fully engage with the trip.

A water bottle.

This is absolutely necessary regardless of what trip you’re taking students on. Making sure they are staying hydrated is important no matter the temperature outside, and encouraging them to bring their own water bottle along is incredibly beneficial.

One of the best things you can do as a trip leader is to ensure you have some stock piles of these items that you can take on a trip with you. I’m not suggesting that you bring along an entire store and medicine cabinet with you, but to have some back-up supplies is never a bad thing.

We typically take a small tote on trips that are closer to home (within a few hours’ drive) and a couple of small bags for longer trips or when we are flying. Another thing to be aware of is how close the nearest Walmart or supermarket is in case you need to make a quick pickup.

Planning well means preparing for your students to forget some things, but also equipping them with all the resources you can to help them succeed. That means having a proper and trip-specific packing list for them. Preparing ahead of time will help alleviate future stress and issues as you lead your team in whatever trip you’re heading out on.

Planning Ahead: Two Christmas Gift Ideas

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Christmas will be here sooner than we’d care to think. Stores are already shifting to their merchandising to Christmas and it will only be a handful of weeks until Christmas music starts being played.

We’ve already talked about planning a Christmas party for your leaders, but have you figured out a gift to get them? I am huge proponent of two things when it comes to gift giving:

1. A gift doesn’t have to break the bank.

2. A homemade and personal gift often resonates more with the recipient.

That brings me to today’s gift ideas. The two gift ideas are ones that are homemade and tasty.

The first idea is making Christmas cookies for your team. I would highly suggest using a homemade recipe and not a snap-and-bake style. When you make homemade cookies you can taste the love and care that went into making them.

Even if you aren’t a baker, you can find a simple sugar cookie recipe that you can make fairly easily or you can make Oreo Truffles that feel super elevated but are very easy to pull together.

My recommendation for the sugar cookies is to always make sure to add a little extra vanilla as the vanilla makes the cookie richer and more flavorful. And for the truffles, you can utilize different flavored Oreos with matching extracts (1-2 teaspoons) to create more unique and holiday-focused truffles.

If you’re a bit more of a seasoned cook or are willing to try something that’s more labor intensive, you can make homemade apple butter and put them in mason jars as a fun holiday gift that everyone is sure to love. Elise and I just went apple picking and we ended up with close to twenty pounds of apples.

As much as we love apples, we won’t eat all of them before they start to spoil. Throughout the years, whenever we pick apples I’ve made applesauce and apple butter. I’ve experimented with various recipes for the apple butter and have finally landed on one that people seem to love.

Utilizing something that you have in abundance to make gifts is a huge win. You can jar them and put a nice tag on them, and all of a sudden you have a personal and edible gift ready to go. So, if you’d like to try this recipe out, I’m putting it below for you.

Both of these gift ideas, coupled with personalization and a note or card, are sure to make your leaders feel seen, valued, and loved. Our hope is that these recipes and ideas are ones you can use or that they spark ideas you can utilize to bless your leaders at Christmas time.

Apple Butter

Prep Time: 15 mins | Cook Time: 10 hrs | Total Time: 10 hrs 15 mins | Servings: 40 | Yield: 5 cups

Ingredients

  • 5 pounds apples, cored and cut into pieces
  • 1 ½ cups white sugar
  • ½ cup brown sugar
  • 1-2 teaspoons salt
  • 2-3 teaspoons ground cinnamon
  • ⅛ – 1/4 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
  • ½ – 1 teaspoon ground allspice
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract 
  • ¼ cup apple cider vinegar
  • ½ cup water

Directions

  1. Place apple pieces into a large slow cooker. Add white sugar, brown sugar, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, and vinegar. Add water and mix well.
  2. Cover and cook on High until apples are starting to soften and release liquid, 1 to 2 hours. Reduce heat to Low and cook, uncovered, until all the apple flesh is dissolved, 5 to 6 hours. Stir occasionally.
  3. Puree using an immersion blender until smooth. Continue cooking, stirring occasionally, until darkened and thick, about 4 hours more. Pass apple butter through a strainer if desired. Seal in a glass container and refrigerate until cool.

Planning Ahead: Spring Kickoff

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Our normal rhythm for programming around Christmas and New Year is to take two weeks off as the majority of our students and families are either celebrating, traveling, or both. Combine that with Thanksgiving and the traditional rhythm will be askew for a couple of months.

So when we come back in January, we kickoff the spring semester with a celebration and unique flair. The purpose is to welcome students back, get them excited for the new semester, have a lot of fun, and to provide an easy opportunity for them to invite their friends too.

In order to accomplish this and to do it well, it is highly important to begin planning this well in advance. If your ministry functions in the same manner, I want to share with you ways you can begin preparing for that event now.

Figure out the main draw.

You need to think through each element of your event, but knowing what the main draw is allows you to clearly shape the event and communicate effectively. Simply telling your students to come to a spring kickoff without any details or reason leaves them wondering if they should and if they should invite their friends.

Students don’t want their friends to be bored, disappointed, or apprehensive about coming to church, so giving them information about the event is key. This also allows you to utilize your vision and purpose for your ministry in how you shape the event.

When you allow the identity of your ministry to inform what the main draw is, it further reinforces your vision and helps your students, families, and leaders have more buy-in.

Build out the schedule.

Having a schedule and flow for your event is key. Not only does this help you figure out the timing of everything, it gives structure and guidance to your team.

It’s important to know where things will take place and for how long, to know what is happening and when. Doing this allows the event to flow smoothly and effectively as you have planned and prepared well ahead of time.

Prepare your leaders.

When you’re thinking through your spring kickoff, make sure to bring your leaders into the planning process. If there’s aspects they can contribute to, ask them to help.

If there’s a specific action leaders need to take prior to the kickoff (i.e., downloading a specific app, bringing a dessert, arriving a little early, managing a game or activity, etc.), make sure to prepare them well in advance and be willing to help them if needed.

Recruit when needed.

If your event requires additional hands or more leaders, recruiting earlier is always better and it alleviates last-minute panicking. It’s always better to be prepared ahead of time instead of trying to find someone the day or week before an event. This could include recruiting people to serve food, welcome students, manage stations, or pitch in wherever you need to additional support.

Utilize students.

We have a student band that has just recently been formed and it has been received with a lot of excitement. In order to help them succeed and for the event to go well, we want to bring them into the planning process and ask them to lead worship. But with students being as busy as they are, it is highly important to bring them into the process and planning as early as possible.

Quick Tip: Caring Well for Your Volunteers

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Caring for your volunteers is something the majority of youth workers know they should do, but it isn’t always the easiest to accomplish. Life and work get busy. We don’t always follow up. We miss key moments.

But being busy shouldn’t be an excuse to not care well for our people. I would argue that if we are too busy to carve out time to care for our leaders, our priorities are probably out of order.

As disciples of Jesus we are called to model our lives after His. And if we look at what Jesus did in the midst of busyness, we see that He made time not only for His disciples but also for the “least of these.”

Jesus welcomed the children to himself when others tried to shoo them away. Jesus stopped to talk to the sick, hurting, and forgotten. He took time away from all the busyness to care for and pour into His disciples.

If that’s what Jesus did, shouldn’t we do likewise? We need to prioritize caring for our people and that means restructuring our schedules and priorities. It doesn’t mean not doing your job or not meeting the requirements of your position. It means putting things in their proper order and making sure you are loving and caring for your people.

So how do we do that well? Here’s a few practical steps you can take to care well for your people.

Ask questions.

I am convinced that we cannot know and therefore cannot care for our leaders if we don’t ask questions. When we ask questions we show intentionality.

I’m not advocating for hammering your leaders with deeply personal questions at youth group. But engage with them appropriately at appropriate times.

Check in and follow up.

This something that shows our intentionality and care because it’s not just asking questions but showing we are invested by following up and checking in.

We can see how our leaders are doing, if circumstances have changed, if they need anything, and what we should continue to do. When you follow up and see how they are doing, it communicates love and care that goes beyond a simple “how are you” at youth group.

See them.

Being intentional when your leaders are present is huge. Letting them know they are seen and loved is paramount to caring for them.

Yes, you should be focused on your students, but you should also be focused on your leaders and how they are doing. They are not just warm bodies but people with whom you share life. So see them, engage with them, and let them know they are valued.

Cover the tab.

Paying is a practical way of showing care when you go out with your leaders. Cover their coffee or their meal. It doesn’t have to be all the time, and of course make sure to do it within your budget and your means. But if you’re able to cover the tab periodically for them it shows love and care in a tangible way.

Pray with them.

This is something that I think we can say we will do in passing when we engage with our leaders. But I know there are times I can forget to do it.

Instead, I’d encourage you to actually pause and pray with them in the moment and then continue to pray in coming days. When we see our people and engage with them in personal and spiritual ways like this, it communicates the love and care we have for them.

Prioritize them.

Leaders are the reason we are able to do what we do. Without them, many of our ministries would not be able to function, nor care well for our students.

That means we must intentionally focus on loving and caring for our leaders throughout the week. That means prioritizing them and their needs. We don’t dismiss or devalue our students, but instead do our best to love and care for our people so they can help love and care for our students.

How do you care well for your leaders?

Book Review: The Myth of Good Christian Parenting

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Student ministry will always include partnership with parents, and whether we are or become parents ourselves, we will inevitably interact with parenting resources. Depending on the pockets of Christianity of which you have been apart, you may have found some troubling aspects to these resources, or you may have found yourself processing the parenting styles under which you grew up.

Regardless of where you find yourself, The Myth of Good Christian Parenting: How False Promises Betrayed a Generation of Evangelical Families is an excellent resource for youth workers. Authors Marissa Franks Burt and Kelsey Kramer McGinnis guide us through an overview of the history of Evangelical parenting resources while drilling down into specific stories and examples. They provide a sobering, yet insightful look into how Evangelical parenting has historically been framed and what that has led to or can lead to today.

The book is broken down into three sections that ask “How Did We Get Here,” “What Do We Find Here,” and “Where Do We Go from Here”? It tracks the beginning of certain Christian teachings, and how decades later, the fruit is manifesting in the lives of those who followed them. It seeks to direct the reader to learn from the past while paving a healthy, Jesus-oriented way forward that values both parents and children.

The book also includes a helpful tool for evaluating parenting resources to determine whether or not they should be used, which is a wonderful gift to student ministry leaders as they seek to support parents. Rather than simply going off of whether a book or ministry is popular, readers are equipped to evaluate the resource itself. This encourages active involvement in the selection and implementation of resources that can be catered to specific family and parenting dynamics.

The reality is we find ourselves in a Christian culture inundated with messages that are touted as “biblical,” but when compared with the life and teachings of Jesus, are anything but. The cost of these harmful teachings is great, and one might argue we have only begun to scratch the surface of the outcomes.

In order to advocate well for the students (and parents) within our care, we need to be able to identify harmful teachings, provide guidance that honors Jesus and the imago dei within each person, and do both with boldness and understanding. If you need a starting point to examine resources, or process your own personal experience, The Myth of Good Christian Parenting is an excellent place to start.

5 Tips for Intentional Leader Training

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We just wrapped up our fall student leader training and we are so excited for how it went and all God is going to do this year.

Historically, our leader training sessions weren’t always successful, nor were they always helpful. They used to contain the same information year after year, and they were not something leaders wanted to attend, nor were they a priority.

But that changed when we decided to make the sessions more intentional. It wasn’t an overnight change and there were some challenges in trying to create lasting and intentional change. That doesn’t mean it isn’t worth it, but instead highlights the reality that change isn’t instantaneous.

It took time and effort. It required listening and adaptation. It meant trying and being honest in determining what worked and what didn’t.

In short, creating intentional leader training takes time and thoughtfulness, but the end result is an amazing atmosphere of collaboration. It also helps to create a group of relationally-focused leaders who are growing and committed.

Today, I want to share five tips for hosting intentional leader training:

1. Create the environment.

If I am being honest, this is not something I initially considered nor am I always good at cultivating. I would focus on other aspects of training like sharing pertinent information and interactive elements.

But when a coworker asked me what my theme was for training it made me stop and think. Partly because I had no answer but also because I realized the necessity of creating a theme and environment. When our team began to theme our training, it became more of a fun and engaging environment that our leaders wanted to be a part of.

Theming doesn’t have to be a large production, but it is something you carry through your training holistically. For an example, we hosted our training with a Jaws-inspired theme. We had different take home items like stickers and squishies that were “sea” oriented. We utilized sharks and water illustrations for our slides. And we created a snack bar that had “ocean” themed snacks.

2. Have food.

This may seem trivial but food is a key part to intentional training. Food creates an atmosphere that feels warm and welcoming, and it communicates value and worth.

Think about the last time you were over someone’s house. Did they offer you food? Whenever someone offers food or drink, you feel seen, valued, and appreciated.

Hospitality is key to helping leaders feel loved and cared for, and food is one way to do this. You don’t need to cater your training, nor do you need to drop hundreds or thousands of dollars.

It could be as simple as having fruit and coffee with fun creamer flavors. It could be a cheese tray with crackers, fun candy at the tables, mocktails, or chips and dip. By bringing in food and drinks, you are communicating value and worth to your leaders.

3. Make it relational.

One of the best things you can utilize for intentional leader training is relational opportunities. This can be in how you set up the room and seating arrangements. It can also be done through creating organic times for fellowship and conversation.

This comes into play by how you interact and engage with leaders during the training. Allow for communal and conversational opportunities throughout the training whether it’s in small group breakouts, prayer times, idea sharing opportunities, games or team building, or through a Q&A time. These are just some of the ways you can utilize relational opportunities at your training.

4. Incorporate spiritual rhythms.

Training shouldn’t only be about the practical nature of working with students and the circumstances with which leaders may engage. It should also focus on cultivating a spiritual maturity and depth in their relationship with Jesus.

In order to do this, we must make sure that we are each growing in our own walk with Jesus. So taking time to engage in spiritual rhythms not only helps us to grow but also provides a revitalization and refreshment for your team.

Taking time to pray and worship together, to engage with Scripture, to practice pausing and refreshing are some of the steps you could take to help your leaders engage with Jesus during your training.

5. Make it collaborative.

Collaboration is highly important for team training. Utilizing additional voices outside of paid church staff is essential as it elevates different voices and allows them to use their gifts and expertise to help others grow and flourish.

This can be done through having others lead part of the training, or by having your team engage with one another, or by utilizing activities that allow everyone to share their ideas and tips for student ministry.

However you choose to incorporate collaboration, make sure that you don’t just hear what is said but also think through follow-up and implementation. You may hear great ideas and suggestions, but failing to act upon those ideas communicates a lack of collaboration and value to your team.

Planning Ahead: Welcome Incoming Middle School Students and Families

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As fall programming approaches, your ministry is probably preparing to welcome new middle school students into the ministry for the first time. For our ministry, middle school starts at 6th grade as we follow what the majority of schools in our area do.

These new students are often flying high after being the top dogs in their elementary schools but also feeling the angst and social pressure of starting fresh in a new environment. Do you remember your middle school years? If it was anything like mine, they were filled with awkward moments, societal pressures, new friendships, figuring out my identity, and of course all of the other struggles that come with being an adolescent.

We can all agree that the transition into middle school can be difficult, and with that reality in mind, we must think critically about how we can help to welcome these new students and their families into our ministries. Today I want to share with you a few successful ways we have tackled this over our time in ministry.

Begin building relationships early.

If our first touch point with incoming 6th graders is when fall programming starts, I’d argue we are missing the mark. Instead, when they are 5th graders we should be seeking to build connections with them. If we take time to step into the elementary ministry and get to know 5th graders and their families, it will help make the transition to middle school ministry easier as they will already have an established relationship.

Connect families with small group leaders.

Reaching out and letting families and students know who their small group leaders are is a great way to help 6th graders feel seen, welcomed, and valued. Encourage your leaders to reach out and build rapport with parents and students, and to consider hosting a meet up where everyone can get to know one another.

Host a summer gathering that includes incoming families.

A great way to make an intentional connection with incoming 6th graders is to host an event where they are invited and can meet other current students and leaders. Our summer programming centers around monthly events and we intentionally reach out to our incoming 6th grade families and invite them to join us.

We set apart time for the new families and students to meet their small group leaders, gather information from our team, ask questions, and to build relationships. Moments like this help new students and families build relationships and release some of the tension that comes with stepping into a new phase and ministry.

Honor and welcome them.

Kicking off fall programming is a great time to welcome in your new students and help them know that they belong. This could be through your setup and decor, praying over them in front of the youth group, hosting a special event to celebrate moving into middle school, providing a special gift and/or a special note, hosting a luncheon for students and families, or pairing them with an upperclassman who can help them acclimate to student ministry.

Be available.

One of the best things you can do for students and families is to be available. Depending on your church context, your people may not know where your office is, what your office hours are, or where programming takes place. Helping families and students know where things are and that you are available for them helps them know that they belong.

We intentionally show families where our student ministry offices are, make sure they know we are here for them, and highlight the resources we have for families. In a time of transition it is important that your students know they have a person/people who will be present and available for them.

What are some ways you intentionally welcome new families and students into your ministry?

Trip Tricks: Be Prepared

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Have you ever had something unexpected happen on a trip? Perhaps it was a vehicle issue, sickness or a hospital run? Maybe allergies spiked due the work you were doing or bee stings, housing arrangements not working out, or a variety of other circumstances.

I’ve personally experienced all the above and then some during the trips I have been on. Some of these issues you can handle in kind but others require you to be prepared as best you can.

When I was newer to youth ministry I didn’t think about the “what if” situations that could happen. My inexperience didn’t make me a bad youth pastor, but it did put me at a disadvantage when certain situations arose.

Looking back now, I can see various ways I wish I was prepared to handle those moments, and I want to share them with you. I hope to help you be better prepared for, if, and when those moments happen.

Keep a level head.

This is the very first thing you must have a handle on when things go awry or not as you planned. Students and volunteers alike will reflect your energy and temperament in all circumstances. If you are acting frantic, if you are experiencing a meltdown, or you seem scared or worried, they will all respond in kind.

Instead what you should do is approach each circumstance with an even response and mild temperament. When you can pause, breathe, and collect yourself, you will be able to make informed and beneficial decisions as they are needed. It will also help your group to remain calm and not panic in the moment.

Have a good first aid kit.

A first aid kit is something I’ve always made sure to have because of the years I spent working in the security industry. First aid kits that are purchased at Walmart or Amazon don’t always have all the items you will need. Bandaids and ice packs are good things to have but you will often find yourself needing a variety of items that aren’t included in a basic kit.

What I’d recommend is checking with someone who is a nurse or EMT to find out what items you should have in a first aid kit and how many of those items there should be. Then you can create a custom kit for your trips.

Know your resources.

I’ll never forget the one time we were at a camp and had a medical emergency. A student suffered a horrible concussion and needed emergency treatment. We were sent to an urgent care facility but they weren’t equipped to handle that situation so we had to call EMS to take us to a trauma hospital over an hour and a half away.

If we had known that the hospital was where we needed to be, we could have gotten there sooner (and yes, the student’s completely fine and was released that same day). That situation taught me to know what my resources were wherever I was taking students.

If you are going on a trip it’s important to know where hospitals, doctor offices, and fire departments are. Know how to get to certain places like auto part stores and mechanics. Try to plan out rest stops, gas stations, and places to eat on longer trips. Have people back home and on your trip that you can go to with various issues (having someone who knows cars is awesome and having a nurse or doctor on the team is a wonderful thing).

Train your leaders.

Another thing that will help you to be prepared on your trips is training your leaders in a variety of situations. You can get them CPR and first aid certified. You can help equip them with how to respond during emergencies and various circumstances.

You can assign them roles for each of those moments as well. Even asking leaders to simply herd and distract students while you handle the main issue is key because it allows for you to be focused on rectifying the situation.

Being over-prepared isn’t a bad thing.

My leaders jokingly chide me about how much stuff I bring on trips and how big my backpack is. I have my own first aid kit, extra items students may need, all of my documents in case they’re needed, plenty of Advil, and basically anything else I may end up needing.

Do I always need what I pack? No. But would I rather have and not need than need and not have? You better believe it.

When I think through a trip, a ministry event, and even just regular programming, I always try to be as prepared as possible to handle whatever happens. That doesn’t mean that I’m trying to be omniscient, but instead seeking to care well for my people by being prepared and ready to jump into whatever happens.

Don’t Just Wing It

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“Don’t worry about it. It’s just one week and they won’t care. Just wing it.”

I’ll never forget this conversation that happened early on in my student ministry career. It was a busy week with multiple unexpected add-ons and I was struggling to put together a lesson for my students. I asked a friend for some advice on what to do and they gave me the above quote.

Honestly, when they said that to me, my first thought was, “Yeah, that’ll work.” But the more I ruminated on it, the less receptive I became. I managed to restructure my week and put together an intentional lesson for my students. Was it my best? No. Was it super impactful? Maybe, that’s up to my students to say. But was it intentional and thoughtfully designed for them? Yes.

Too often ministry gets busy. Our weeks and lives are often thrown off by random meetings, activities, our personal lives, and more. Rarely do I have two weeks in a row that are the same. There’s always something to do and it feels like our work is never done. But that shouldn’t stop us from intentionally putting together lessons and messages for our students.

Students have long been the recipients of lackadaisical teaching. Whether in the church or school settings. In fact, some of my interns this year told me stories of teachers using AI to craft their lessons or just showing videos for weeks on end. This is not a shot at teachers because the majority of them are amazing, but instead a treatise on the reality of the teaching and guidance our students are receiving.

Students desire authenticity. They want interpersonal connection. They want to ask questions and wrestles with things they are being taught. They want to know people care. They long to be seen.

When we wing it and don’t put intentional effort and thought into our ministry, we are causing more harm than good to our students. I’m not saying there aren’t times when we have to put something together on the fly, but that should not be how we conduct ministry regularly.

As ministers of the Gospel we have a responsibility to God and the people we serve to do our best when it comes to leading, speaking, and discipleship. We cannot and should not simply “wing it” as an approach. Our students deserve the best because that is what Jesus offered to His disciples and encouraged all of them to offer the people to whom they ministered.

So what should we do if our schedules are overwhelming, if we feel stretched to our max, if it seems like we are constantly underwater and fighting to just make it through each week?

I think first and foremost you need to step back and see what can be changed or removed from your plate and schedule. Are there things you don’t need to be doing? Are there aspects of your ministry you could offload? Could you change your rhythms or restructure how you manage your time?

I also think it is worthwhile to assess how your teaching is formatted and your ministry setting. How long do you teach for? Would it be helpful to trim that back? How is your program structured? Could you reassess how it flows in order to better help you with planning and weekly preparation? Are there trusted individuals and volunteers you could empower to help teach, prepare, and facilitate your ministry?

Another aspect to consider is talking with your direct supervisor. Being honest and sharing where you are at is not an admission of failure or inability. It’s a sign of strength. We are not meant to do all the things nor should we. Instead, we need to share the load and asking for help takes us away from a me-centered approach to truly what Jesus had in mind by empowering multiple people to serve and facilitate the ministry.

My encouragement to you is this: be thoughtful, intentional, and relational in how you lead and teach. Don’t just wing it, but be purposeful. By doing the things that we shared, not only are you being intentional with your ministry, you are also protecting yourself from burnout, offering the best to your students, and empowering others to lead.

Quick Tip: Ask for Help

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I’ll never forget the first time I used the coffee pot in our church office hallway. I’ve drank coffee for most of my life and I’ve brewed coffee in more coffee pots than I can count. And how hard could it really be? Well, harder than I thought. There were two buttons and I hit the wrong one which actually cycled the machine off and took an exceptionally long time to restart and reheat to make the coffee.

The worst part: I was with another staff member who was showing me around and rather than ask for help I asserted “I know how this works.” And as they were trying to explain what not to do, I hit the wrong button.

Now, hopefully, you can laugh along with me at the absurdity of this true story, but let me pose a question. Have you ever tried to do something on your own without asking for help? Have you ever done that knowing you should ask for help?

From my experience, it can be extremely difficult for those serving in ministry to ask for assistance. I believe this is rooted in a variety of reasons including being told we are part of an elite group after graduating from college or grad school. We know how to function in isolation, we have learned to trust ourselves and our motivations, we have become fairly self sufficient, and perhaps there has been a lack of effective and helpful guidance.

Regardless of the reason why, many ministry leaders are hesitant to ask for help and that is extremely problematic. When we try to go on our own, when we refuse to seek help, when we simply try to push through, these responses will inevitably lead to burn out, anger and frustration, hurt, bitterness, and further isolation. I’ve seen this too many times to count and I’ve been there as well. Trying to do it on our own and not asking for help is a recipe for disaster.

When we live and work in isolation we aren’t just hurting ourselves, but also building ourselves into isolation and potentially causing harm to others by not allowing them to thrive. When we go at it on our own we are not actually giving our people what they need because we are often leading out of emptiness. Leading out of emptiness is not helpful to anyone and is destructive to yourself and those you’re leading.

So what are we supposed to do?

Ask for help. It sounds simple, but it is also incredibly hard because it means admitting we cannot do it all on our own. This can feel like failure, but it is actually life saving. Asking for help feels incredibly difficult and near impossible in the moment, but doing so will actually help you flourish, refresh, and release the weight you shouldn’t be carrying.

Here’s what I would suggest: find someone you can be authentic with and share how you’re feeling. After you’re done sharing how you’re feeling progress in one of these ways: ask them for help and give them permission to do so, ask them to go with you to the person (i.e. a supervisor) to help advocate for you. Be willing to listen to their suggestions and implement them. Part of being authentic means owning what is happening and not suffering in silence. But in order for that to be beneficial, you also need to be willing to hear and receive help.

Admitting you need help is difficult. Being willing to receive help is harder still. However, when you admit and receive help, you are removing the weight you’ve placed on yourself or the weight that has been placed on you, and allowing for the body of Christ to truly be the body as they walk with and care for you.

If you need someone to talk to, or an advocate, know that we are here for you. We’d be honored to hear your story and to walk with you.