Tag: recommendations

Planning Ahead: Empowering Students to Participate in Lent

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If you’re like me, you grew up in a church tradition that did not incorporate participation in Lent. It wasn’t until I was in college that I learned Lent wasn’t just something for Catholics, and that many of my Protestant friends also participated. Still, Lent wasn’t something I considered participating in until I heard a podcast on the topic, and felt challenged to join.

For the past several years, I’ve found different ways to participate, each one bringing more depth and understanding to my relationship with Jesus, and my yearly journey toward Easter. I’ve learned that Lent is about so much more than just “giving up” something. It’s about engaging in rhythms that prepare our hearts for the Christian life and our calling to follow Jesus wholeheartedly.

I think Lent can be meaningful for our students, too, if they are empowered and equipped to participate well. If this isn’t something your ministry is already doing, let me encourage you to consider it. I also want to share some ideas, which I hope are helpful whether you’re already doing Lent as a student ministry initiative or considering it.

Reimagine intentional fasting.

Fasting is typically the “big” aspect of Lent that we think of, and it can be a beautiful rhythm to engage in intentionally. When it comes to our students, I think we have to treat fasting with care as some students’ relationships with food can be complicated.

Rather than simply focusing on fasting from food, I would encourage you to challenge your students to ask themselves, “What thing has the potential to be, or has become, an idol in my life that I can give up during Lent?” Help your students drill down on the things that most often draw their attention away from God, or that they use to self-medicate, that they can feasibly fast from for over a month.

Students might be tempted to list things like school, friends, sports or other activities, which they can’t realistically take a break from. So you may need to offer guidance and help them determine what can be removed. Maybe it’s social media and using that as their primary way of connecting with friends. Maybe it’s intentionally stepping away from homework for 15 minutes each day to read the Bible and pray in a quiet space.

If a student does want to fast from a food item, encourage them to choose something that isn’t good for them, or has the tendency to become an “emotional support” food. This could include fasting from desserts and candy, soft drinks, or junky snack foods.

While they’re fasting, students should be encouraged to turn their thoughts to God, especially if they’re struggling with it. The reminder in fasting is that we desperately need and depend on God, more than the thing we’re fasting from and missing. In those moments of struggle, they can choose to engage in a spiritual rhythm. (More on that below.)

Include an intentional “feast day.”

When I was learning about Lent, I liked the idea of making Sundays a “feast day.” And while that meant indulging in something I was fasting from, more importantly, I loved the idea of celebrating the goodness of God. So rather than just having a day of indulgence, I wanted it to be intentional.

If students are creatively fasting, feast days may look different for them. Maybe it makes sense for them to fast the whole Lenten season, or maybe they can intentionally allow engagement on Sunday.

Another way to look at feast days is doing something as a group if you gather on Sunday mornings. Open up the floor to a time of sharing what students are learning, how they are celebrating God, and what they are thankful for. You could also provide treats that provide a physical feast element for students to partake in.

Do a group study.

I have loved doing daily studies throughout Lent that help me focus on the themes of the holiday season. Doing one as a group can help students engage on their own, but also feel part of a larger community participating in Lent together.

The YouVersion Bible app often has a Lent study or two available, which can make it easy to participate as a group if you initiate the study and invite the students to join. Another option if you have time is to create your own study, which affords the ability to cater it to your specific group. Just make sure to give yourself plenty of time to create it if you go this route.

Focus on spiritual rhythms.

Lent is also about engaging in other spiritual rhythms, not just fasting, though they can go hand-in-hand. I grew up hearing that prayer was an integral part of fasting, as it helps us remain strong. Lent is also an opportunity to pray for something consistently for a set period of time and watch for God’s answer.

Another spiritual rhythm I love to engage in during Lent is meditation on Scripture. I frequently choose one verse to focus on or memorize. Before I get out of bed in the morning, I read the verse and pray to start the day.

Another traditional part of Lent is giving. This can be monetary, and you can find a ministry, organization or person to support as a group. Or, if your students don’t have money to give, you can help them identify needs of others and find creative ways to participate. Maybe they can give of their time to help with childcare or service projects. Or they can give of their talents to play music or create art for homebound seniors.

These are just some of the rhythms you can direct your students to engage in during Lent. They can also journal, practice intentionally sitting in silence, or create something based on what they are learning (art, poetry, a story, a song, photographs, etc.).

Incorporate observances into your weekly programming.

If you’re doing Lent as a group, can you tie it into weekly meetings? Think of lessons that dig into the themes of Lent, or a series that follows Jesus’ ministry and journey to the cross. Maybe you want to incorporate communion into one or more of your meetings.

You can provide unique ways for students to engage during lessons with quiet time to meditate, pray in color, or memorize a passage as a group. You can also turn Sundays into a time of celebration where students worship, sing, and create art together.

Or you may decide to create an Easter experience for your students as Lent draws to a close. We’ve written a couple of posts along these lines, one about creating an Easter encounter and another about helping students engage with the holiday. This could serve as the conclusion to your students’ observance of Lent.

Product Review: Habutway Beanbag Chairs

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A couple of years ago we recognized that our middle school area needed a refresh when it came to seating. Our high school area had couches, some bistro tables and chairs, and some smaller round cafe-style tables with chairs. In our high school area we could have more control over the environment and setting but our middle school area only had some couches that were woefully outdated.

We began looking around online trying to find various options. We looked at purchasing newer couches but they were beyond our budget. Floor cushions were an option but it didn’t feel like we valued our middle school students. We contemplated simply putting out more chairs and tables but it felt like middle school was simply forgotten and high school was where intentional environments happened.

Then we happened upon Habutway Bean Bag Chairs. Prior to purchasing these bean bag chairs I was very anti bean bags because I have seen what happens when all the little beads explode out of them. And let me tell you, the clean up for those things is not fun.

However, these bean bag chairs have memory foam in them, so even if they were to “pop” it would not require the same clean up as the others. We purchased three of these chairs and they arrived vacuum packed which meant that packages were significantly smaller than the actually bean bag chairs. Once you take them out of the packaging, you need to break up the foam by tossing the chairs onto the floor and give them around 24 hours to fully “inflate.”

When we put these out for the first time, our students fell in love with them. They have quickly become the most sought-after seats in our program and students love to jump on them and see how many people they can fit on the bean bag.

These bags are incredibly durable and have held up to the wear and tear over the years. The outer covering is also machine washable which is a huge perk when working with students who often have food and drinks or come right to youth group from sports practice.

The one downside for our ministry though is storage space. We meet in a multipurpose space so we need to find a place to store these bean bag chairs and that means stacking them in one of our closets each week. These bean bag chairs aren’t super heavy but they aren’t light either which adds some complexity to stacking them in storage.

Overall, these are a great addition to any ministry space. I highly recommend them, and you can choose from a variety of colors and a couple different sizes. These are a great win for students and will quickly help make your space feel more inviting and welcoming.

Resource Review: The FYI on Youth Ministry Podcast

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I love listening to podcasts. I listen to everything from The Pour Over to Crime Junkies to The Holy Post. My taste is fairly eclectic and I’m always looking to add more podcasts to my playlist. I also really love to listen to ones that challenge me and help me to grow as leader, person, and Christ-follower.

Recently, I came across The FYI on Youth Ministry podcast that is currently hosted by Kara Powell. This is a podcast from the Fuller Youth Institute that brings together insights, research, advice, and stories and experiences from people who serve in the trenches of ministry. It is a conversational podcast that truly helps to inform, equip, and challenge those who serve in student ministry or oversee staff who do.

I must confess, that I’ve only recently started listening to this podcast but in that short amount of time, I’ve binged multiple episodes buecasue of how solid and beneficial the content is. FYI is an amazing organization and I regularly get their emails and search their website for helpful content. Kara Powell is a researcher, author, and speaker who is well known in youth ministry circles. When you pair those two things together with a variety of insightful guests and experts in their fields on the show, this is a podcast that every youth worker should be listening to.

It is easy to listen to and very practical in the information that is shared. Much of the information will not just be helpful to paid youth workers but also to anyone who serves with students. In fact, I will be utilizing various episodes for my volunteers at upcoming training to help generate ideas, facilitate conversation, and provide insights to help all of us succeed in ministering to students.

As you look at the podcast, you’ll notice it is not updated super regularly, but that makes new episodes all the more exciting because it’s almost like a surprise party when they drop. In prior episodes, you’ll find a variety of other hosts from FYI and a range of topics including areas of self-care which is so important but often neglected in ministry circles. You’ll also find helpful topics that we should be engaging our students with and tips and resources for how to do so effectively and biblically.

Overall, this is a great podcast and one I would highly recommend to any youth worker. Whether you’re fresh out of college or a thirty-year veteran in student ministry, this podcast will be a great resource for you. Take a listen, and let us know in the comments what you think about the podcast.

Quick Tip: Empower Your Students

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This past week we had our student ministry Christmas party. It was a ton of fun with lots of sugar, activities and games, worship, and of course a white elephant gift exchange.

But none of this would have been possible without our students. Not just because that’s what the focus of student ministry is, but because our students are in charge of our worship team and tech team.

One thing you should know about me is that I am not musical at all. I can’t play an instrument, I’m not a great singer (some may say I shouldn’t sing at all), I can’t mix audio, and I’ve only had one basic conducting course way back in undergrad. But really, who conducts in student ministry?

All that to say, I am not the guy to lead and direct our worship and tech ministries. I can have some oversight but even in that capacity my abilities are limited.

A handful of years ago, I met a student who had a passion for running our tech during weekly programming. This student was struggling to find their place and I noticed that they were hanging around our tech setup, so I simply asked if they were interested in helping out. Their eyes about jumped out of their head as they nodded yes!

So jump in they did. But not just in our ministry; they now help on Sunday morning during our worship services and their skill set and intentionality has made our worship services much more intentional.

Two years ago I had a handful of students come tell me they wanted to have worship incorporated in our ministry. I explained that I loved the idea but I couldn’t be the person to facilitate it so they would need to put together teams and run it. They agreed and we are now two years into having intentional moments of worship incorporated at specific times throughout the year.

We have had students who wanted to lead Bible studies in their schools and needed resources and guidance. So we equipped them, trained them, and sent them out. They are now leading multiple Bible studies and prayer groups in their schools and on their sports teams.

I wish I had started doing this sooner because it not only afforded our students an opportunity to step out in their faith and lead, but it also helped our ministry to grow because our students took ownership and became more invested.

When students are empowered and equipped to lead they will do so with boldness and excitement. They will bring others in and make disciples as we have been called to do. It does take time and work to unleash your students in leadership roles, but it’s incredible when they do as you witness God work in powerful ways through them.

At the end of the day our job is to disciple our students in their faith and unleash them to go out into the world with the Gospel. When we release control, and challenge and empower our students, we will see the world changed by the Spirit working through them.

Empowering your students will not only give them ownership and release certain responsibilities from your plate, it will help the Gospel to go forth through a generation that is passionate and sold out for what Christ is doing in and through them. Take a bold step, empower your students and give them the opportunity to flourish and lead as they are discipled and cared for by you and your team.

Quick Tip: Plan Ahead

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This weekend our church was hosting numerous events and gatherings, including our Christmas party for student ministry volunteers. There were multiple hurdles that presented themselves, including usage of the kitchen and refrigerator space, groups coming to use the building who hadn’t reserved it, and many other factors that happened in the moment.

Have you ever experienced a scheduling nightmare or had competing events or values? I have experienced those moments far more than I care to admit, but I have found that a key component of avoiding hurdles is planning ahead. When we plan ahead it doesn’t eliminate the hurdles completely, but it does minimize the effect of the hurdles and their frequency.

When we plan ahead it helps with multiple pieces including the following:

Allowing people to plan their schedules.

When you plan out your ministry calendar by six months or a year, it allows students, families, volunteers, and other ministries to see what is coming and plan their schedules accordingly.

Think about it: how do you feel when you can put your calendar together and not have any surprises? I know I love being able to look ahead and know what is coming so I don’t have to try to frantically change my plans last minute.

For our leader Christmas party, we had given them the date six months ago so our leaders could put it in their calendars and plan for and around it as necessary. Doing this helps people to see the value you place on your ministry and your vision.

Affording your ministry priority in reserving spaces.

This may seem a little self serving, but let’s be honest, sometimes reserving space is a priority that you need. We work in a church context where almost every space is communal. We don’t have a designated space where we can have a “youth room,” nor are we able to leave our decor and games out. Everything is stored away in case another ministry or group would like to utilize that space.

The same may be said for your context, or perhaps your church is small but utilized frequently which is whole different set of hurdles to work through. Whatever your setting, reserving your spaces well ahead of time affords you the peace of mind to know that whenever and wherever you’re hosting things, you will have that place designated for your group.

My personal recommendation on scheduling ahead is six months to a year. This doesn’t mean you need your event or gathering finalized, but it allows you to have a space reserved and ready to be utilized as you sculpt and plan that gathering.

Highlighting the value you place on communication.

Communicating early and planning ahead helps your community to see that you care about them and value keeping them informed. While this highlights that you value communication, it also highlights that you value your students, families, and volunteers because a good leader plans ahead and communicates well so his people are aware of what is happening. It communicates that you care and value your people and you are seeking to help them and the ministry flourish.

Allowing you and your staff team to prepare well for upcoming events.

Planning ahead is not something I always liked to do. I used to be a “fly by the seat of your parents” type of guy when I first started out in student ministry. I also didn’t always communicate the plan or direction to the people I was leading. That’s not helpful for any team or leader.

When you communicate and plan ahead, you’re allowing everyone to plan and prepare for what is going to be happening including you and your staff team. When you can have a target on the map or a date on the calendar, it allows everyone to plan accordingly.

You have scheduled what you’re doing and communicated the date, which in a way forces your hand to prepare in advance and work ahead of time in planning. This will help your team be more effective and prepared as you seek to lead and guide them well.

Planning ahead isn’t always easy, but I would assert it is a necessity for youth workers. When we plan ahead it communicates value and worth and helps us to be better leaders. What is one way you plan ahead or what is an action step you can take to begin to do so?

Don’t Forget to Have Fun with Your Students

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One of my eighth grade guys loves to rub my head. It’s become a running joke that he will try to sneak up on me and rub or pat my head before I notice him.

Many of my other students love to joke about my gray hair and my “advanced” age. Still others will laugh about my weak ankles and knees. And there’s a handful of students who love to point out that my clothing choices tend to repeat themselves.

There are two responses I could have in these situations. One, I could get frustrated with the joking and shut it down. Or two, I could laugh and have fun with my students.

At the end of the day, their joking doesn’t bother me much and it highlights their comfortability with me and our program. I could choose to be a stick-in-the-mud and respond in an authoritarian way, but I know that will not make our program into what we want it to be: a safe place for our students to be themselves and know Jesus.

In our ministry we are clear on boundaries and rules, especially when it comes to how we engage with and treat one another. This means that when things get pushed too far and we respond to it, our students understand that they stepped over the line.

But here’s the thing: we can still have fun within those boundaries. We can still laugh at what our students say and do when they’re trying to be funny. We can chuckle at the immaturity and lack of self awareness. We can be relaxed and laugh at ourselves along with our students. The other side of the coin is that we could take things personally and try to shape the program and interactions in a way that keeps those moments at bay.

I would recommend the former over the latter because it creates a place where students can be authentic and simply be kids. We were all immature in middle school and high school, we all made jokes, we probably all said something a little out of pocket at some point.

As adults, we should remember how we acted and instead of crying foul and trying to just shut things down, we should instead take a moment to laugh and show students how mature adults can engage, have fun, and respond.

When we can have fun alongside of our students, we are showing them that we see them as more than a number or a child to be watched. We are showing them that we truly value and desire intergenerational discipleship relationships. We are highlighting that we can have fun and engage with them while valuing them and not dismissing them because of their age.

These types of moments create safe and healthy environments for students to be themselves, connect with safe adults, and be shepherded towards Jesus as we all take time to have fun together.

Here is my encouragement to you:

1. Allow your students to be students even if it means a little immaturity, random comments, and lack of self awareness.

2. Laugh along with (and sometimes at – of course not in front of them) your students and what they say or do.

3. Don’t take yourself too seriously and be willing to have fun and take a joke or two.

4. Create an environment that values fun and joy for everyone involved.

By incorporating these elements I cannot guarantee that your program will be perfect but that there will be a lot more joy, laughter, and community within your ministry.

Help! I Don’t Know How to Lead Students

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Sometimes in church life we may find ourselves in a role we never dreamed we’d fill. There may be no one else available, or we may feel God pulling us into a space outside our comfort zone. And sometimes, that may be serving in student ministry.

If this is you, or someone you know, let us encourage you/them. Students are amazing and, in our possibly biased opinion, one of the best groups in the church. While working with them may feel overwhelming, we want to encourage you that if you have a heart for students, you can do it.

The reality is that students crave genuine relationships and connection with others. You don’t need to be the cool leader, you just need to be the leader that genuinely cares, shows up, and listens. The best thing you can do is invest consistently in your students by being present, hearing and seeing them, and fostering a safe place for them to be themselves.

So what are some ways you can do this? Take a look at these tips we hope will get you started and help as you continue in this important ministry.

1. Commit to being present.

This doesn’t just mean showing up to every student ministry event, while that is extremely important. Students do need to see you physically present. It also means being mentally present with your students.

You can be mentally present by putting work and life stressors on the back burner and trying not to bring them with you to youth group. You can also make sure to spend your time with the students, not hanging out with other leaders or playing on your phone.

One of the best ways you can show students how important they are is by giving them your undivided attention when you are with them.

2. Actively listen to your students.

Listening is another way to be present. And while we are to guide and shepherd our students, the first thing they need to learn about us is that we are listening to them. This is how we show them that we genuinely care.

Practice active listening by seeking to understand what your students are saying and why, and by asking thoughtful follow-up questions that continue to foster the conversation. Don’t worry about handing out advice and instruction right away, and don’t listen just to give a response. Show students you are someone who will hear them and wants to know what they have to say.

3. Be yourself and don’t fake it.

Students can spot a fake a mile away, they’re naturally good at it. So do yourself a favor and don’t pretend to be something you’re not. Bring your authentic self to youth group and let that person shine.

The reality is not every single student will click with you, and that’s okay. You’re not there to be everyone’s best friend. But students should be able to see and know the real you, that is one of the best ways you can show them that they matter to you. Give students the respect they deserve by being real with them.

4. Have fun.

If you haven’t been around student ministry before, one thing you need to know about students is that they love to have fun. Whether it’s playing 9 Square, hanging out with their friends, playing sports or music at school, getting crafty and creative, or whatever else they enjoy, students are always up for having a good time.

Since your students like to have fun (and because we serve a God who created a world for us to enjoy), we can also have fun with them. It doesn’t mean you have to do all the things, but you can engage and have fun with them. Laugh, enjoy your time with them, play as you are able, and celebrate with them.

Having fun shows your students that you’re relatable, willing to meet them where they are at, and someone who desires to share life with them. And it can show them that you don’t take yourself too seriously.

If you want to dig a little deeper into leading students, we invite you to check out more of our blog posts! Here are a few to get you started:

Leading Students Well in Chaotic Times

Quick Tip: Giving Students Ownership

Leading Small Groups: Self-Guided Discussion

8 Keys to Building a Successful Student Ministry

Are You Asking the Right Questions?

Trip Tricks: Treat Your Camp Hosts Well

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We love the camp we go to for our winter retreat and summer trips. Our group has been going to Camp Orchard Hill since before we started at our church and we are so grateful for the connection we have with them.

During our time at our church, we have seen our group grow in number as we head to Camp Orchard Hill (COH), especially when we go to winter camp. This has presented our group and COH staff with some unique challenges.

When our group signs up, we have crashed their registration system. We typically have to exchange camp t-shirts for different sizes. Trying to house our group all together presents challenges. There’s also unique hurdles that come with trying to get our group all fed at the same time along with all the churches at the camp. They have also walked through all of registration questions, changing of students who signed up, and of course all the financial questions.

Simply stated: COH has been nothing short of amazing in helping plan for our trip, organizing all of the necessary information for our group, and helping us prepare for our arrival. Then they have been awesome in helping us when we are on site. Their customer service is always next level and they consistently go above and beyond to help us.

Now here’s the thing: our team could simply say, “That’s how a camp is supposed to be and what they’re supposed to do.” Or we could understand that how they have loved and served us is an amazing gift and truly a reflection of their hearts for Jesus and people.

Over the years we have gotten to know our camp hosts incredibly well, and because of that we’ve gotten a peek behind the curtain to see just how much they do. And I’ll be frank: the extra mile they go to just for our group, let alone every group, is above and beyond what we had thought. They truly treat us as family and we want to make sure we are loving them just as well.

Now, regardless of whether your camp hosts go above and beyond, we have an obligation to treat them well. But how do we do that? Let me share with you a few quick ways I think we can treat our hosts well.

Refer new business to them.

Every time I talk to a camp or retreat center, they love to gain referrals because it means more business. So talk up your camp. Give out their contact information. Share the camp’s schedule with other youth leaders. Invite other groups on the retreat. Drumming up referrals and business will help to ensure your camp hosts stay in business and continue to do what they love to do.

Tell them you’re thankful.

Sometimes we assume that a “thank you” is understood even if it isn’t spoken. But that’s not true. Hearing someone say “thank you” means a lot and it shows that what you’ve been doing has been seen and appreciated. Telling the camp hosts you’re thankful for them and the ways they have served you goes a long way and carries a large amount of meaning.

Take them a gift.

A tangible way of thanking your hosts and showing appreciation is by taking them a gift. This doesn’t need to be something extravagant but it should be thoughtful and intentional.

It could be a t-shirt (in their size) from your student ministry with a handwritten card signed by your volunteers and students. It could be a gift basket of things from your town. Or maybe it’s a photo of your group and thank you cards from your students. These types of thoughtful and intentional gifts help your hosts to know they are loved, appreciated, and needed.

Encourage your students to serve.

Most camps and retreat centers have a need for summer counselors and interns. Encouraging your students to participate at a place they know and love is an easy way to help bless the camp because you are populating a needed resource for them. These intergenerational moments help camps to continue to do what they love, and it also allows your students to grow and mature as they serve in tangible ministry aspects.

What are some ways that you bless and treat your hosts well?

3 Keys to Giving Leader Christmas Gifts

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It’s that time of year: stores are beginning to put up Christmas displays, Christmas music is playing, and holiday commercials have begun popping up. And we haven’t even made it to November.

Now we could engage in the debate of when is it too early for playing Christmas music, but that’s a topic for another day. Today, I want to talk about gifts for your volunteers and some key things to consider when getting gifts for them. This post is not a list of gift ideas but rather one that provides insight on the key elements that should go into choosing the gifts you are giving to your team.

When it comes to giving gifts to leaders, we like to have our gifts meet three key elements which allow for the gifts to be more intentional:

1. Personal and thoughtful.

When it comes to gift-giving, what gift has made a significant impact in your life? We could think of the biggest, most expensive gift, but what I’m getting at is a personal and thoughtful gift resonates and impacts us at a deeper level.

I had a student who recently gave me a handwritten note and a stuffed monkey for pastor appreciation month and that gift is one I will remember for a long time over a monetary gift. Why? Because it was the heart and thoughtfulness that meant so much to me.

The same is true for our leaders. When we make the gift personal and thoughtful it means so much more to our leaders. This isn’t an excuse to be cheap just to be cheap, nor am I saying that we need to break the bank. Instead, we need to find a balance within the confines of our budget to give a gift that is from the heart and is personal and thoughtful.

2. Practical.

This is another key element of our gift-giving. We want all of our gifts to be practical along with being personal and thoughtful. I’ll admit that this does get a little difficult the more leaders you have because what may be practical for some may not be practical for others.

When you’re thinking about a gift, ask yourself, “Is this practical and will our people use it?” When we’ve looked at gifts we have always thought about the usefulness and practicality because we want it to be a gift that our leaders would appreciate and could utilize in the their daily lives.

3. Edible.

This one is listed last, but if I had my way I’d list it first (mostly because I love food). This element is intentionally listed last because out of the three elements, this is the one that if the other two are met, isn’t vital to have. That isn’t to say don’t incorporate this element, but realize it doesn’t have to be the priority of the three.

When you provide an edible gift, it is imprtant to incorporate the other two elements of gift-giving. Is it a thoughtful gift and practical? Did you simply grab something from Costco or is it handmade? Did you attach a personal note? Is it something everyone can have (think about food allergies)?

Edible gifts are some of my favorite because it means someone knows me and most of us love food. So to provide something to your leaders that is edible is a great gift to bless them with.

At the end of the day, there’s no magic formula to gift-giving. These elements have served our ministry well and have helped us to truly bless our leaders. There may be times our gifts don’t hit the mark, but this method helps us to think through the gifts we are giving and how they will be received by the people who get them.

When you give gifts to your leaders, how do you make sure they are well-received and intentional?

Healthy Ways to Disconnect

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Let me ask you a question: when was the last time you took a break? How about a true weekend without work? When was the last time you took a vacation and truly felt relaxed, at peace, and didn’t think about work?

Please understand that I am not trying to cast condemnation or criticism here. I’m in the same boat. For years, I always had my phone next to me and was ready for the next issue to arise. Every time it buzzed I feared what was happening.

It took a good couple of days to breathe and truly enjoy being on vacations. Weekends were rough because I was always thinking about what was to come. It was always hard to shut off my mind after a standard work day let alone after youth group.

Feel like you’re in the same boat? I think for a lot of us in ministry we feel that weight. We feel the complexity of working hard at our jobs and ministering to students, families, and the church, but also the added weight of a deeply personal call to shepherd and care for the people of God.

When you put all those things together they can feel heavy; they are heavy. And if you don’t put appropriate breaks, rhythms, refreshment, and space between those things and your own personal life and spiritual development, you will burn out. You will struggle with anxiety, depression, resentment, bitterness, and more. You will find distance growing between you and your family. Your family will struggle with loving the church because of what they see it doing to you.

And ultimately you will find yourself serving the church of God and not God, Himself; you will create an idol. And yes, even good things can become idols because they are not meant to be the ultimate thing in our lives.

If all of that is true—and believe me it is because I’m proof of it—what do we need to be doing differently? Today, I want to share a handful of practices I have begun to implement in my life that have been extremely helpful in disconnecting.

Bring others in.

If you’re feeling overworked, resentful, burnt out, or if the joy is gone, you need to bring people in. We are crafted for community and so often we go through life alone. Instead, we need to bring others into our lives and share honestly about what is happening.

The sooner you bring people in and are transparent with things, the better equipped you’ll be to heal and disconnect well. By bringing others in, it allows you to have accountability and a network to help you disconnect and establish boundaries.

Be honest about what you’re feeling.

I think when you work in ministry it is easy to mask how you’re feeling and to pretend like you have everything under control. That type of mentality can easily lead to isolation, frustration, and hurt which often times leads us to go through life and ministry alone.

That way of living will not allow you to disconnect because you are tying your personal life and work together in an unhealthy pattern. Instead, we need to be honest with others and ourselves about how we are doing. When we are honest we can begin to move toward growth, healing, and the ability to disconnect more because we are untying our personal and work lives.

Utilize “no phone” policies.

A great way to disconnect is to quite literally disconnect your phone. Turn on do not disturb, turn off notifications, stay off social media, and don’t check emails. If that doesn’t work, then literally turn off of your phone or put it in a different room.

Look, I get it. We need to be available but at the same time there is such a thing as work-life balance and phones don’t always allow us to maintain the proper balance. So practice healthy phone use to keep yourself from being inundated with work.

Take extra days at the beginning and end of your vacation.

Have you ever felt stressed leading up to a vacation as you are trying to button up everything at work? Have you felt like coming home from vacation feels overwhelming as you need to catch up on laundry and food shopping as well as all the emails? Me too!

That’s why Elise and I started to add additional days off to prep for vacation before we go and we have a day or two at home at the back end to readjust to normalcy. Giving yourself breathing room at the front and backend of a vacation allows you to truly rest and relax while you’re away because everything has been handled and can be handled when you return.

Be clear about your boundaries.

This one is key to being able to disconnect. The more transparent you are about your boundaries and the more willing you are to hold to them the more you’ll be able to disconnect.

This isn’t easy in the beginning but I can promise you that it is worth it. Talk about how your days off are actually days off. Be willing to tell people you aren’t checking emails or handling work-related tasks when you aren’t working. The more you talk about and model clear boundaries the more people will begin to respect them and you will be able to disconnect in healthier ways.

I’m not going to say I have mastered this. In fact there are still days and weeks that I feel the weight of ministry. But I can promise you that by putting these habits and rhythms into place you will find yourself in a much better place. Simply taking the initiative and beginning to build these into your life will help you relax and breathe better.