Tag: relationships

Everyone Needs a Brian

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Back in the days of NYWC I had the privilege of meeting multiple staff from Youth Specialties. One of those staff members I briefly met was Brian Aaby, but it wasn’t until I was searching for a new ministry position that I began to connect with Brian more often. He was the Director of YS Search and Coaching, and the person in charge of my search. It was then that he and I began to forge a great friendship.

That friendship deepened throughout the search and placement process but grew even deeper as he would visit with Elise and I at our home, coach me as a youth pastor, and invited me to join his cohort. Brian not only became one of our closest friends but also a confidante, a mentor, and someone who was willing to sharpen, encourage, and challenge me when needed.

Brian has been someone who has not only stood in my corner throughout my career but has also been someone to shape and strengthen who I am as a person, husband, and pastor. I can honestly say that I wouldn’t be who I am today and I may not even be in ministry if it weren’t for him.

Today, Brian has joined another one of our friends, Tim Eldred, at the Authentic Pastor. They are seeking to care for and empower pastors to be holistically healthy in their lives and careers. Together, these two are unstoppable and I am so excited for what they are doing and what comes next!

The purpose of this post isn’t to simply highlight how awesome Brian is, although I could, but instead to showcase the type of people we need in our lives. These friends may not encompass all of the following characteristics, which is totally fine. The reality is that having someone like this in your life is key to helping you grow, succeed, and flourish.

Friend.

Ministry can be lonely. Let’s just be honest about it. It can be extremely isolating even when you’re surrounded by people because they all look to you as a pastor not necessarily as a friend.

We are crafted for relationships and not having someone that you can be your authentic self around is problematic. It further isolates you and leads you toward self-dependence, which can be extremely unhealthy.

Mentor.

Everyone needs a mentor in their life. Someone who is older and wiser, who can listen to you, encourage you, offer you tips, and will walk with you through the long haul.

They are someone who will stick with you even if you switch careers or move. They will speak truth and wisdom into your life and be someone you can bounce ideas and questions off of.

Coach.

Having a coach is huge! This is someone who is trained and equipped to help ministry leaders flourish and grow. When someone can speak into your life, encourage and challenge you, and help you to grow as a pastor, leader, and person that is life changing.

This is more than a mentorship, it is someone who is pouring into you and developing you into the person God has designed you to be. A coach will lean into the refining process and walk through the fire with you. They will correct and challenge you to help you grow and mature.

These individuals are not necessarily in it for the long haul like a mentor, but instead will focus specific time and energy into helping you grow and flourish by looking into specific skill and developmental strategies.

Advocate.

There have been many times in my ministry career when I’ve been hesitant to advocate on my behalf. I’ll never forget when I was talking with Brian about the pay scale for a job I was moving into.

I asked if it was okay to negotiate because I had assumed ministry people did not ask for a higher paid grade. Brian assured me it was okay to ask to be paid what I was worth and that the worst they could do is say no.

That is only one instance where Brian helped me to advocate for myself, but he has also advocated for me to others. Brian has stood in the gap for me multiple times and I am forever grateful for that because in ministry it is hard at times to advocate for yourself.

Having someone who cares enough, is respected and measured, and knowledgeable is key as they can engage on your behalf in ways you may not be able to.

Ministry guru.

One of the best things you can do as a youth worker is find someone who has been in youth ministry and knows what they are doing to be someone you can learn and glean from. When you can learn from someone who has been there and done that, it not only helps you avoid pitfalls but it also challenges you to be a better youth pastor.

These are people who can provide insight for teaching, games, activities and events, and also be a resource if you need a speaker for a retreat or event.

Here’s the thing: Brian is a unicorn because he fits all of these things as one person. But I want to be clear that if you don’t have someone who fits all of those characteristics, it is totally fine to have multiple people in these roles.

The point of this post is simply to encourage you to have these types of people in your life because without them, ministry would be incredibly difficult, isolating, and at times defeating. At the end of the day Brian and Tim are always up for coaching and walking with people, and if you don’t have people in your life who can fit those characteristics, I know they would both be incredibly happy to talk with you and walk with you.

Caring for Hurting Leaders

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One of the realities of serving in ministry is you will be dealing with hurt, pain, and loss. It could be helping students navigate the hurt of a broken relationship, officiating a funeral, helping struggling couples, or a variety of other circumstances. Hurt and pain are very real and they are a very important part of our career as we have the privilege of walking with others.

In as much as we care for our church community holistically, today I want to think through what it looks like to care for hurting leaders who serve alongside us in our ministries. Our leaders deal with hurt and pain just as much as anyone else, but they also carry the burden of caring for students and their pain as well. So what are some ways that can we come alongside our people and care for them?

Be available.

One of the best things you can do for your leaders is be present when needed. When they are hurting, need to talk, or just need you to be present the best thing you can do is be there for them.

That could be as simple as sitting with them, listening and empathizing, offering counseling and direction, and being a friend to them. Those moments are critical and necessary in caring for your leaders who are hurting.

Utilize additional resources.

There may be times that you need to lean into additional resources in order to care well for your people. That could be counselors and mental health professionals, food or clothing banks, hotels for housing needs, funeral homes, financial counselors, and whatever other needs you may be able to help with.

You will need to build relationships and contacts with various organizations and agencies to help when needed. When you build your resource bank up, it allows you to better care for your people by connecting them with the necessary resources to help them.

When necessary, encourage a break.

There will be moments when your leaders are going through an exceptionally difficult time that needs both a friend to walk with them but also a caring leader to encourage a break. Often, youth leaders are deeply committed to serving and don’t want to let down their students by stepping away.

But the reality of leading well means that your leaders are holistically healthy. That means you need to be willing to encourage and challenge your leaders to take a break for their own wellbeing, healing, and restoration as needed. These aren’t easy conversations but they are needed ones that should consist of love, care, and shepherding.

Send a card and encouragement.

A tangible way of loving and caring for hurting leaders is sending a handwritten card and some kind of encouragement. We often send a DoorDash or Amazon gift card or flowers to our leaders who are hurting as a way of highlighting that they have a community who loves and cares about them

Follow up.

Often a time of hurt, pain, and grief is not just a singular moment but an ongoing one. There will be ongoing moments of pain and grief. As such, we have an obligation to continue to check in, love, and care for our people. Take them out for coffee, call them, have a conversation at youth group. These follow up moments signal that you still care and are aware of what they are going through and that they aren’t alone.

Planning Ahead: Welcome Incoming Middle School Students and Families

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As fall programming approaches, your ministry is probably preparing to welcome new middle school students into the ministry for the first time. For our ministry, middle school starts at 6th grade as we follow what the majority of schools in our area do.

These new students are often flying high after being the top dogs in their elementary schools but also feeling the angst and social pressure of starting fresh in a new environment. Do you remember your middle school years? If it was anything like mine, they were filled with awkward moments, societal pressures, new friendships, figuring out my identity, and of course all of the other struggles that come with being an adolescent.

We can all agree that the transition into middle school can be difficult, and with that reality in mind, we must think critically about how we can help to welcome these new students and their families into our ministries. Today I want to share with you a few successful ways we have tackled this over our time in ministry.

Begin building relationships early.

If our first touch point with incoming 6th graders is when fall programming starts, I’d argue we are missing the mark. Instead, when they are 5th graders we should be seeking to build connections with them. If we take time to step into the elementary ministry and get to know 5th graders and their families, it will help make the transition to middle school ministry easier as they will already have an established relationship.

Connect families with small group leaders.

Reaching out and letting families and students know who their small group leaders are is a great way to help 6th graders feel seen, welcomed, and valued. Encourage your leaders to reach out and build rapport with parents and students, and to consider hosting a meet up where everyone can get to know one another.

Host a summer gathering that includes incoming families.

A great way to make an intentional connection with incoming 6th graders is to host an event where they are invited and can meet other current students and leaders. Our summer programming centers around monthly events and we intentionally reach out to our incoming 6th grade families and invite them to join us.

We set apart time for the new families and students to meet their small group leaders, gather information from our team, ask questions, and to build relationships. Moments like this help new students and families build relationships and release some of the tension that comes with stepping into a new phase and ministry.

Honor and welcome them.

Kicking off fall programming is a great time to welcome in your new students and help them know that they belong. This could be through your setup and decor, praying over them in front of the youth group, hosting a special event to celebrate moving into middle school, providing a special gift and/or a special note, hosting a luncheon for students and families, or pairing them with an upperclassman who can help them acclimate to student ministry.

Be available.

One of the best things you can do for students and families is to be available. Depending on your church context, your people may not know where your office is, what your office hours are, or where programming takes place. Helping families and students know where things are and that you are available for them helps them know that they belong.

We intentionally show families where our student ministry offices are, make sure they know we are here for them, and highlight the resources we have for families. In a time of transition it is important that your students know they have a person/people who will be present and available for them.

What are some ways you intentionally welcome new families and students into your ministry?

Be the Supervisor You Want to Have

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Have you ever worked under a great boss? What about a not so great one? Have you ever wished a supervisor would do something a certain way for you or care in meaningful ways? Have you had a boss who wasn’t just a good supervisor but also a good shepherd?

I’ve been in ministry for a long time and I’ve worked in a variety of jobs outside of ministry. In every single one of those jobs I had supervisors. Whether it was a lieutenant, a board of elders, an executive or senior pastor, managers, or an account supervisor, I’ve always had someone to whom I reported. With in each of those settings I can point to good and bad moments.

But here’s the thing: we often tend to remember the bad moments, the moments we weren’t cared for well, the moments our supervisors didn’t do something we wished they had, or times when those supervisors just weren’t good supervisors. And if you’re like me, you probably have focused on that way too much. Now understand, I’m not saying people shouldn’t be held accountable and I’m also not telling you to just knuckle under.

Instead, what if rather than focusing on the disappointment and discouragement that can and will come from faulty leadership, we utilized that passion and tension in a positive way. Imagine if we leveraged that as a growth opportunity for ourselves to be the best supervisor we can be! I’m not saying there’s no accountability for those in authority over you and I’m not saying that you’re the problem. Instead, I’m challenging each of us to be the supervisor we wished we had.

We all know what we have desired in a supervisor. Maybe you have had a great one and want to model your leadership after them. Perhaps you had one who didn’t afford you what you needed and now you know what a supervisor should do. What we must do as leaders is take a look at our history of supervisors and use that to cultivate the supervisor we need to be. Take the good, the bad, and the indifferent and learn from it. Be willing to discern those moments and use them to transform how you lead.

Some of my greatest strengths as a leader have come from learning from those who led me. And some of the ways I lead flow out of a desire to lead differently. But in all of those moments, I ask myself if I am leading in a way I would want to be led. Am I listening? Is my team being empowered and released to utilize their strengths? Have I been a good encourager? Have I helped my team grow and flourish? Am I willing to engage, even the hard moments, when needed? Do I have my team’s back? Am I okay with my team succeeding even if it moves the spotlight off of me?

These aren’t all the questions a good leader should be asking, but they are a starting point. Whether you’re supervising staff, leading volunteers, shepherding students, or preparing to lead, thinking through these questions and gaining insight from good leaders and mentors will help to shape you as a healthy leader. By leading others well, we are cultivating not only our own abilities but shaping future leaders to also be healthy and beneficial.

The Importance of a Personal Mentor

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Recently our church has been undergoing a big change. We are in the midst of a search for only our third senior pastor since the church was founded. When we heard the news, there was a piece of me that entertained the thought of applying for the position, but also a piece of me that strongly resisted applying.

As I processed with Elise, we both knew we felt similar tensions and that we needed the voice of trusted individuals and mentors in our lives to speak into this moment. So I reached out to some of them to hear their input and advice. They all resonated with the feelings and tensions we were feeling. After talking with them, we confirmed that we were not going to pursue the position (unless God made it clear that we should) and instead were content with where God had us.

I don’t know where you are in your ministry career or what you were taught about serving in ministry, but in my experience I was not encouraged to have a mentor until I had been in ministry for years. When I first started in a tiny church as their pastor, I didn’t have anyone who was shepherding and guiding me. No one was speaking into how I was leading, what could be improved or changed, how to navigate conflict, self care, and so many other vital aspects of ministry.

Looking back, I made a lot of mistakes as a young and naive twenty-something stepping into their first paid ministry position. I made decisions quickly, I was harsher than I should have been, and acted out of naivety and without thinking through how things would be received. If I had a mentor during that time, I know I wouldn’t have made all of the same decisions. I am not saying I wouldn’t have still messed up, but having someone guiding and challenging me would have helped to shape how I led, engaged, and reacted.

A personal mentor is one of the best things we can have in our lives. A personal mentor is someone that you trust and can go to with questions and doubts, and for encouragement. They are individuals who know you, can speak truth into your life, challenge and correct you, and also be a sounding board for choices and decisions you need to make.

A mentor is someone who cares about you and helps to form and shape you as you walk through ministry. This isn’t something just for young or new youth workers, but something we should incorporate throughout our careers. Even now, having been in ministry for over two decades, I’m so thankful for the mentors in my life who help to shape me. Whether it’s being encouraged during challenging times, being pushed to step out of my comfort zone, empowering me to lead well, or simply listening to me as I process. A mentor is something everyone should have in their lives.

A great place to start looking for a mentor is within your current context. Is there someone who has gone before you, a supervisor, a career volunteer, a friend? You can also connect with other established youth pastors who can help guide and shape you as you grow in your career. We are willing to be in your corner and to walk with you. There’s also professional coaching programs through a variety of organizations. The question is simply this: are you willing? Are you willing to have someone pour into you and walk with you as you lead in your context?

So, what’s stopping you from having a personal mentor in your life?

Quick Tip: Take Care of Your Team

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Have you ever had someone show up with coffee for you out of the blue? Has someone brought baked goods to your office before? Has someone treated you to breakfast? Have you ever received a hand-written note of encouragement?

I think we all have experienced this in some way, and we all know how it makes us feel. We feel seen, valued, loved, and affirmed. It is amazing how intentional and yet simple cup of coffee can be.

But here’s the thing: these moments shouldn’t just be for us, we should be utilizing these opportunities to bless and care well for our people. If we feel valued, seen, and loved when we receive those blessings, shouldn’t we be doing the same for others?

One of the best things you can do as a leader is to care well for your team(s). Now depending on your circumstance and financial structure, this may sound like something you cannot achieve. I get it; when budgets are tight or nonexistent, we default to thinking about the financial strain that comes with “caring for our leaders.”

But let me pause here and share this truth: lack of finances should not keep us from caring well for our team. That means we may need to reshape our thinking; the reality is that because we are a consumeristic culture we have allowed for that to determine how caring for people looks. But money isn’t the only thing that we can utilize to care for others.

What we need to understand is that we can care well by sitting and truly listening to others. We can care well by sending a card or a note to our teams. We can care well by publicly affirming them. We can care well by bringing them a homemade dessert or dinner.

Intentionally caring for our teams needs to be a priority because a well cared for team produces stability, consistency, longevity, community, and an environment where students flourish. Well cared for leaders care well for their students and allow for a discipleship-oriented ministry to prosper. A team that is loved, championed, and cared for is a team that will continue to run after and embrace the vision and passion of the ministry they serve and lead.

As the leader of a ministry, it is our job to love and care for our teams. It can be as simple as affirming them in public or private. A handwritten note encouraging them. A gift card, treating them to breakfast or coffee, remembering their birthday or anniversary, comforting and mourning with them during seasons of loss, or following up on important things within their lives.

Stopping and considering if your team feels loved and cared for is an important aspect of leading that each of us should be engaging with. Being intentional and walking with your team as you care for them is necessary and nonnegotiable. So, how are you caring well for your team?

Don’t Forget to Have Fun with Your Students

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One of my eighth grade guys loves to rub my head. It’s become a running joke that he will try to sneak up on me and rub or pat my head before I notice him.

Many of my other students love to joke about my gray hair and my “advanced” age. Still others will laugh about my weak ankles and knees. And there’s a handful of students who love to point out that my clothing choices tend to repeat themselves.

There are two responses I could have in these situations. One, I could get frustrated with the joking and shut it down. Or two, I could laugh and have fun with my students.

At the end of the day, their joking doesn’t bother me much and it highlights their comfortability with me and our program. I could choose to be a stick-in-the-mud and respond in an authoritarian way, but I know that will not make our program into what we want it to be: a safe place for our students to be themselves and know Jesus.

In our ministry we are clear on boundaries and rules, especially when it comes to how we engage with and treat one another. This means that when things get pushed too far and we respond to it, our students understand that they stepped over the line.

But here’s the thing: we can still have fun within those boundaries. We can still laugh at what our students say and do when they’re trying to be funny. We can chuckle at the immaturity and lack of self awareness. We can be relaxed and laugh at ourselves along with our students. The other side of the coin is that we could take things personally and try to shape the program and interactions in a way that keeps those moments at bay.

I would recommend the former over the latter because it creates a place where students can be authentic and simply be kids. We were all immature in middle school and high school, we all made jokes, we probably all said something a little out of pocket at some point.

As adults, we should remember how we acted and instead of crying foul and trying to just shut things down, we should instead take a moment to laugh and show students how mature adults can engage, have fun, and respond.

When we can have fun alongside of our students, we are showing them that we see them as more than a number or a child to be watched. We are showing them that we truly value and desire intergenerational discipleship relationships. We are highlighting that we can have fun and engage with them while valuing them and not dismissing them because of their age.

These types of moments create safe and healthy environments for students to be themselves, connect with safe adults, and be shepherded towards Jesus as we all take time to have fun together.

Here is my encouragement to you:

1. Allow your students to be students even if it means a little immaturity, random comments, and lack of self awareness.

2. Laugh along with (and sometimes at – of course not in front of them) your students and what they say or do.

3. Don’t take yourself too seriously and be willing to have fun and take a joke or two.

4. Create an environment that values fun and joy for everyone involved.

By incorporating these elements I cannot guarantee that your program will be perfect but that there will be a lot more joy, laughter, and community within your ministry.

Help! I Don’t Know How to Lead Students

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Sometimes in church life we may find ourselves in a role we never dreamed we’d fill. There may be no one else available, or we may feel God pulling us into a space outside our comfort zone. And sometimes, that may be serving in student ministry.

If this is you, or someone you know, let us encourage you/them. Students are amazing and, in our possibly biased opinion, one of the best groups in the church. While working with them may feel overwhelming, we want to encourage you that if you have a heart for students, you can do it.

The reality is that students crave genuine relationships and connection with others. You don’t need to be the cool leader, you just need to be the leader that genuinely cares, shows up, and listens. The best thing you can do is invest consistently in your students by being present, hearing and seeing them, and fostering a safe place for them to be themselves.

So what are some ways you can do this? Take a look at these tips we hope will get you started and help as you continue in this important ministry.

1. Commit to being present.

This doesn’t just mean showing up to every student ministry event, while that is extremely important. Students do need to see you physically present. It also means being mentally present with your students.

You can be mentally present by putting work and life stressors on the back burner and trying not to bring them with you to youth group. You can also make sure to spend your time with the students, not hanging out with other leaders or playing on your phone.

One of the best ways you can show students how important they are is by giving them your undivided attention when you are with them.

2. Actively listen to your students.

Listening is another way to be present. And while we are to guide and shepherd our students, the first thing they need to learn about us is that we are listening to them. This is how we show them that we genuinely care.

Practice active listening by seeking to understand what your students are saying and why, and by asking thoughtful follow-up questions that continue to foster the conversation. Don’t worry about handing out advice and instruction right away, and don’t listen just to give a response. Show students you are someone who will hear them and wants to know what they have to say.

3. Be yourself and don’t fake it.

Students can spot a fake a mile away, they’re naturally good at it. So do yourself a favor and don’t pretend to be something you’re not. Bring your authentic self to youth group and let that person shine.

The reality is not every single student will click with you, and that’s okay. You’re not there to be everyone’s best friend. But students should be able to see and know the real you, that is one of the best ways you can show them that they matter to you. Give students the respect they deserve by being real with them.

4. Have fun.

If you haven’t been around student ministry before, one thing you need to know about students is that they love to have fun. Whether it’s playing 9 Square, hanging out with their friends, playing sports or music at school, getting crafty and creative, or whatever else they enjoy, students are always up for having a good time.

Since your students like to have fun (and because we serve a God who created a world for us to enjoy), we can also have fun with them. It doesn’t mean you have to do all the things, but you can engage and have fun with them. Laugh, enjoy your time with them, play as you are able, and celebrate with them.

Having fun shows your students that you’re relatable, willing to meet them where they are at, and someone who desires to share life with them. And it can show them that you don’t take yourself too seriously.

If you want to dig a little deeper into leading students, we invite you to check out more of our blog posts! Here are a few to get you started:

Leading Students Well in Chaotic Times

Quick Tip: Giving Students Ownership

Leading Small Groups: Self-Guided Discussion

8 Keys to Building a Successful Student Ministry

Are You Asking the Right Questions?

5 Tips for Leading Well

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What comes to mind when you hear the word “leadership?” Did you feel prepared to step into a leadership role? What does leadership look like in ministry?

I know I definitely wasn’t feeling very prepared when I stepped into ministry. In fact, leadership isn’t something I was taught a lot about in school. Most of my classes were centered on biblical exposition, hermeneutics, running ministries, pastoral care, and things of that nature. Things like leading a team, handling reviews, and balancing a budget were not covered in class. They were things I had to pick up within the throes of ministry.

But as I continued to serve in churches and non-profits, I began to become intimately aware that leadership is more than just being the person in charge. It is about caring for, developing, and empowering your people to lead well.

Most of the resources I gained about effective leadership came from positions I held outside of the church, but can easily be transposed into a ministry context. Today I want to share five principles that have served me well in leading various teams throughout my career.

1. Communicate.

Communication is truly a lost art and it seems to be more so in churches, which is a little odd when you consider that the bulk of our ministry is focused on communication. But good leaders communicate well, often, and clearly. And they don’t communicate just to get their points across but to help them know more and grow in their roles.

Make sure your team and your communities not only hear what you are sharing but also understand what you’re saying. Clarity equals kindness and when we communicate well we help our people step out in leadership.

2. Empower and release.

This is a big step for leaders because it means leading with an open hand and not micromanaging your team. Empowering and releasing your people means trusting them to step out and lead in the way that God has designed them.

At times this may make you feel a little anxious and it may not always go the way you expect it to. But if you continue to empower, disciple, and release your people, you will not only see them rise and flourish, you will see your ministry grow and blossom as well.

3. Embody grace and forgiveness.

When we empower people to lead and give them the opportunity to do so, there will be times people mess up. And it is easy to pass judgement and be critical in how we respond. But that isn’t how Jesus modeled leadership.

When I worked in jobs outside of ministry, we were taught to be harsh in how we responded to our team. We were told to establish our authority and not let it be crossed. But Jesus’s way of leading is radically different.

We are to be servant leaders who model Christ to our teams. That means we embody grace and forgiveness and help our team to flourish even when they mess up. We need to walk with them and challenge them, but not belittle or marginalize them. The church doesn’t need more toxic leadership, it needs grace-filled leadership that models Jesus to our people.

And as a quick aside, remember that this is also true for us as leaders. We will mess up, we will make mistakes. So be willing to own that, to apologize, to seek forgiveness, and look to grow and change. Good leaders not only lead well, they model what they are calling their team to embrace.

4. Grow and develop together.

One thing I’ve heard way too often from ministry leaders is that they don’t need to continue to grow and develop because they have it figured out. Whether it’s because they’ve been in ministry for a long period of time, they have advanced degrees, or they have been to “all” the conferences.

None of those things mean you’ve arrived and know it all. Life, culture, people, and ministry continue to evolve and we need to understand what is happening and be willing to adapt as it does. This means we need to continue growing and developing, and we should be leading our teams in that as well.

Don’t look at this as an isolation role that’s only for the leader of the ministry. Growth and development are key for all of our leaders and we should be helping them to do so. This can be through training, resources, conferences, coaching, peer-to-peer discipleship, coaching groups, or any of the other litany of resources that are available.

5. Have fun.

“Nick, we always know when your team is meeting because it’s loud and you all laugh a lot!”

I remember the first time I heard this and my first response was to shush everyone. But then I realized it wasn’t a critical comment but one that recognized how much our team loves to be together and have fun.

Fun must be an essential part of every team. Whether it’s in how you structure your meetings, taking intentional outings, laughing at dumb mistakes or silly stories, playing games together, or just sharing life, fun is essential because it embodies the life of joy God is calling us to.

Having fun doesn’t mean we aren’t productive. It doesn’t mean we don’t focus. It doesn’t mean we are silly all the time. It means we are embracing the life God has called us to and celebrating it together.

Having fun is something that will not only make you a better leader as it humanizes you, it will make your team stronger and more united as you share life and joy with one another.

What is a leadership tip that you have seen work well in your ministry?

Quick Tip: It Never Hurts to Ask

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“Hey Nick, if you ever need any candy for youth group, all you need to do is ask!” I’ll never forget that conversation with, at that time, a new leader for our middle school ministry. From that point on any candy needs we had, he covered them.

Whether it was providing candy for special events, chocolate bars for s’mores, or just a bag of candy on my desk as a thank you; candy was simply an ask away. But you know what that simple conversation helped me understand? All I needed to do was ask if I had a need.

But here’s the thing: in the past, I have struggled to ask when there’s a need. Whether it’s a pride thing, comfortability, a lack of awareness, or a combination of all the above, I struggled to ask.

Now guess what? When I started to ask, when I shared what our needs were, our church community rallied to our cause. I would never have considered asking about candy being provided, even though we live in an area that has multiple chocolate companies just down the street from our church. But because a volunteer approached me with a way to meet a need, it helped me remember something: the church is in this together and they want our young people to succeed.

So what could you ask for? Of course we all jump to volunteers because that’s what we all need. But what if we saw beyond that? What if we asked for people who would be willing to open their homes or prepare a meal? What if you shared needs for supplies and resources? What if you simply asked?

Over the past couple of years we have begun sharing our needs more openly and it has provided us with so many amazing new relationships, community engagement, and ways to better bless and care for our students and leaders.

Here’s the rub: asking someone for something isn’t bad. It is a huge asset and a way for the church to be the church. But even if the request is denied, remember to say “thank you” and don’t let it defeat you. Keep asking. Keep sharing the need. And watch what God will do through the church body.