Tag: Volunteers

Guard Your Heart

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Anyone who has worked in student ministry knows that there are moments that tug at your heart in a variety of ways. Some of them may be happy like when a middle school student lets loose with an unfiltered comment that we know we shouldn’t laugh at, so we turn to the side so they don’t see us. But many of them can also be difficult and taxing.

Perhaps you’ve heard something like this:

A student tells you about their struggles and your heart breaks for them.

A student shares about how they’re being bullied online and you cry with them.

Some of your students seemingly turn their backs on Jesus.

Students who have been hyper-involved in your program have now become critical of it.

Perhaps you have students who continue to rebel and cause disruption no matter how hard you’ve tried to reach them.

A student criticizes, mocks, belittles, screams, or curses at you.

Maybe a student has told you that you’re a failure or that they pay your salary.

Do any of these sound similar to something you’ve heard from a student? All of these things have one thing in common: they pull at our hearts and cause our emotions to rise.

It doesn’t necessarily even need to be something they said; it could have been something they did or didn’t do. Like when students just don’t seem to get the importance of the Gospel. Or when they turn their back on their faith. Or maybe when they stop coming to youth group.

All of these things are deeply felt and they cause a litany of feelings deep within our hearts and souls. And if you’re like me, the propensity to respond in those moments with all of those feelings resonating within us is extremely high.

Early on in my ministry career I can remember multiple times where I would respond and the tension within me was clearly evident. I never yelled or belittled anyone, but the stress and tension were clearly evident in how I engaged.

As I matured and grew in my faith and career—and thanks to the help of seasoned and mature ministry leaders who walked with me—I realized that those types of responses were rarely (I’d say almost never) helpful or beneficial. In fact, I am sad to say that looking back, students put up walls and disconnected. Instead of responding in kind, we need to respond with grace and tenderness in the same manner that Jesus did.

Rarely do you see Jesus offer a harsh word toward His disciples. More often than not, those words were saved for the hypocritical religious leaders who tried to entrap Jesus. Instead, He allowed His disciples to make mistakes, say stupid things, act in ways an immature person would, and continue to fail. And what Jesus did in those moments was lovingly pick them up, care for them, speak truth, and encourage them to be who He knew they could be.

Jesus’ model here is one we must take to heart and that means we need to continually allow the Holy Spirit to shape and form our hearts so they become more like Him. Now, what does that mean in the moments when our hearts and minds are being tested by students?

First, breathe. Catch your breath and pause. A helpful way I think through this is to simply pause and breathe deeply while counting to five. There’s no mythical reason for it, but I find pausing for five seconds and breathing helps to calm me down and quiet my emotional response.

Second, pray. This doesn’t have to be out loud, and definitely shouldn’t be out loud if it’s directed at a student. But pause and quiet your heart and ask God to guide you in how you respond and what you say. You’re handing off an emotional response to a guided and tempered response empowered by the Holy Spirit working through you.

Third, create distance before you respond. If possible, don’t respond in the moment. That may not be possible but if you can, take time to process and think critically before you respond to what was said.

Depending on the circumstances, you could let the student know you need time to think and then you can respond. Other times may necessitate a response, but be willing to say you also want time to think and will give a more detailed response at a later time.

Fourth, talk to a trusted confidante or mentor. Regardless of the initial conversation or interaction with a student, it is helpful to get insight and guidance from a confidante or mentor who has been there and done that. These individuals can offer wisdom and discernment and help you respond well and with insight you may not have had previously.

Fifth, respond with love, grace, and truth. Regardless of when the response happens, it’s important that we model Jesus in our responses. It isn’t always easy, but it is the best way.

It will help students to see you as a safe and loving leader, but it will also challenge them to think through their actions and words. That may not happen in the moment and it may take years in fact, but students will remember leaders who love and care for them well.

I do want to include this: I am not saying a strong word is never needed. Nor am I saying that you need to be a punching bag for students or any other individual. I am saying that we need to guard our actions and thoughts, and to respond in a way that mirrors Jesus to our students. Because, they are students after all, and their prefrontal cortex is not developed so they will say and do dumb and hurtful things.

We simply are to love, challenge, and lead them in the way that Jesus led His disciples and leads us. How we respond to students in challenging or difficult moments is extremely important and something we need to make sure we are handling well.

Quick Tip: Empower Others to Teach

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This past week I didn’t speak at youth group and I’m not speaking this coming week either. Not because I don’t want to or because I’m not available. I’m not speaking because we have sought to empower our leaders by letting them use their gifts to teach our students.

In fact, this last week one of our leaders shared a lesson on dating and it was honestly one of the best I’ve heard shared at a youth group in a very long time. He connected with all of our students, was honest and vulnerable, gracious, and gave some tangible applications and questions for students to think through in small groups and beyond.

If I’m being honest, I had a proud “dad” moment when I listened to him teach. He was fully capable, equipped, and gifted in his teaching and I would be happy to have him teach at any time.

The truth we need to wrestle with is this: releasing the pulpit can be hard for the leader of any ministry. Whether you’re a youth pastor or senior pastor, there’s a piece of us that wants control for a variety of reasons.

It could be because we were hired for this purpose and it’s in our job description. It could be because of some pride or control issues. Or maybe there’s a piece of us that doesn’t trust others who don’t have the education or experience that we do.

But by allowing those aspects to control us, we are missing out on the opportunity to empower our leaders to utilize their gifts and abilities. What we need to do is share the stage with others and encourage them to step into the roles and opportunities God has given them.

For ministry leaders, that means you need to identify, equip, empower, encourage, release, and coach your people. When you see potential in others and you equip, empower, and encourage them they will begin to grow and flourish in their gifting and put their gifts into action. Then you need to release them to fully use their gifts as you continue to walk alongside them and coach them along the way.

Not only does this encourage and empower your team, it also generates buy-in from your leaders as they understand that they are not just a number or warm body and instead are seen as a partner in ministry. This is also beneficial for your students because people will hear the same things differently from different people.

You could teach a lesson and have little engagement. A week later one of your leaders could teach the same lesson and there could be a flood of positive feedback. That isn’t to say your message wasn’t good or beneficial, but your students heard it differently from a different voice and that is a huge asset to your ministry.

Another benefit to empowering others to teach and lead is that it releases that from your shoulders and allows you to engage in different ways. I know when one of our leaders speaks, I’m freed up throughout the program to engage and build relationships without the distractions of thinking about what I’m teaching on. It also affords me more time in the week to plan ahead, meet with people, and work on side projects that need to get done. This is a win-win for both sides.

At the end of the day, having a variety of voices sharing and teaching within your ministry is one of the greatest assets you have at your disposal. The question you need to wrestle with is this: will you release control and empower others to step up and lead beside you?

Quick Tip: Caring Well for Your Volunteers

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Caring for your volunteers is something the majority of youth workers know they should do, but it isn’t always the easiest to accomplish. Life and work get busy. We don’t always follow up. We miss key moments.

But being busy shouldn’t be an excuse to not care well for our people. I would argue that if we are too busy to carve out time to care for our leaders, our priorities are probably out of order.

As disciples of Jesus we are called to model our lives after His. And if we look at what Jesus did in the midst of busyness, we see that He made time not only for His disciples but also for the “least of these.”

Jesus welcomed the children to himself when others tried to shoo them away. Jesus stopped to talk to the sick, hurting, and forgotten. He took time away from all the busyness to care for and pour into His disciples.

If that’s what Jesus did, shouldn’t we do likewise? We need to prioritize caring for our people and that means restructuring our schedules and priorities. It doesn’t mean not doing your job or not meeting the requirements of your position. It means putting things in their proper order and making sure you are loving and caring for your people.

So how do we do that well? Here’s a few practical steps you can take to care well for your people.

Ask questions.

I am convinced that we cannot know and therefore cannot care for our leaders if we don’t ask questions. When we ask questions we show intentionality.

I’m not advocating for hammering your leaders with deeply personal questions at youth group. But engage with them appropriately at appropriate times.

Check in and follow up.

This something that shows our intentionality and care because it’s not just asking questions but showing we are invested by following up and checking in.

We can see how our leaders are doing, if circumstances have changed, if they need anything, and what we should continue to do. When you follow up and see how they are doing, it communicates love and care that goes beyond a simple “how are you” at youth group.

See them.

Being intentional when your leaders are present is huge. Letting them know they are seen and loved is paramount to caring for them.

Yes, you should be focused on your students, but you should also be focused on your leaders and how they are doing. They are not just warm bodies but people with whom you share life. So see them, engage with them, and let them know they are valued.

Cover the tab.

Paying is a practical way of showing care when you go out with your leaders. Cover their coffee or their meal. It doesn’t have to be all the time, and of course make sure to do it within your budget and your means. But if you’re able to cover the tab periodically for them it shows love and care in a tangible way.

Pray with them.

This is something that I think we can say we will do in passing when we engage with our leaders. But I know there are times I can forget to do it.

Instead, I’d encourage you to actually pause and pray with them in the moment and then continue to pray in coming days. When we see our people and engage with them in personal and spiritual ways like this, it communicates the love and care we have for them.

Prioritize them.

Leaders are the reason we are able to do what we do. Without them, many of our ministries would not be able to function, nor care well for our students.

That means we must intentionally focus on loving and caring for our leaders throughout the week. That means prioritizing them and their needs. We don’t dismiss or devalue our students, but instead do our best to love and care for our people so they can help love and care for our students.

How do you care well for your leaders?

Planning Ahead: Christmas Parties

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School has just started back up for our students, and it may seem a little early to start talking about Christmas. It still feels like summer here in Pennsylvania. But remember that once the back to school advertisements end, we need to be prepared for Christmas adds to start dropping—whether it’s commercials, ads online, or walking through stores and seeing Christmas displays slowly popping up.

With that in mind, we need to look ahead to the Christmas season and all that entails for student ministries. One of the big events that student ministries typically look toward at Christmas time are Christmas parties. It’s important to begin thinking through the essential details so you can start planning now and purchase your items ahead of time.

So what do you need to start planning?

Communication.

When you figure out your Christmas party well ahead of time, you are able to communicate this to your students, leaders, and families so they can coordinate their schedules and make sure they can attend.

It also allows you to build anticipation and excitement about the party among your students, which in turn allows them to share that information with their friends so they can invite them along to the party.

The theme and feel for your party.

Are you doing a white elephant gift exchange? Is everyone wearing an ugly Christmas sweater? Is the party more casual or more structured?

Whatever you decide to do, picking a theme and feel ahead of time allows you to begin preparing and shaping the party now. You can start thinking through activities and games, purchasing supplies, and enlisting the help you need.

This also allows you to think through your schedule and where you’d like different elements to be. You will also able to intentionally shape this event and its elements to reflect your ministry’s vision.

Timing.

When it comes to special events the schedule may be different to accommodate your plans. You may start earlier or go longer than normal.

As you think through your event, it’s important to figure out any timing changes so you can communicate that out to families well in advance. Figuring out your event timing also allows you to build structure and organization into your plans to make sure you have enough time for what you’re seeking to do.

Special elements.

These types of events have special elements to them. Whether it’s a gift exchange, some sort of costumes, worship, a guest speaker, unique snacks, or a special theme, competition, or prize, when you think well ahead of time it allows you to get more creative with what you are doing.

Games and supplies.

Once your schedule is finalized and you know what games you will be playing or activities you’ll be hosting, you can begin purchasing supplies.

Typically, holiday supplies are more expensive during the holidays. Buying holiday supplies outside of the holiday schedule means you may actually be able to save some money and find some deals. So building out your games and activities ahead of time helps you to be more creative and proactive with your budget.

Snacks.

Snacks at Christmas are always special because they help evoke the holiday spirit and make your event feel special. If you know what you’re doing for snacks ahead of time, you can do some unique and special things for students.

You could ask people in the church to bake cookies, which as a baker the more time you have to prepare the better. You could purchase supplies to decorate your own Christmas cookies or gingerbread people. There’s the classic hot cocoa bar that you could make into a build-your-own extreme cocoa. You could do breakfast for dinner or even a Christmas dinner depending on the size of your group and your budget.

Quick Tip: 5 Things You Should Never Say at Youth Group

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Working with students means you need to be mindful of what you say because students are always listening whether or not they seem like it. As leaders of our youth groups, we have an obligation to steward what we say and care well for our students through our words.

With that being said, I want to share with you five things you should never say at youth group. Some of these may make you chuckle and some are more serious. My hope is that this short list helps us all to be more intentional and thoughtful with our words as we seek to lovingly lead and disciple our students.

1. “Where is everybody?”

Nothing tells your students who do show up that they don’t matter more than that statement. There are always times when youth group will feel and be smaller than normal. But when we say things like “no one is here” or “where is everyone,” the students who do show up feel like they don’t matter.

Instead, we should acknowledge the students who are present, reach out to the ones who weren’t to let them know they were missed, and create a missional vision that challenges students to be ambassadors for the kingdom of God wherever they are.

2. “My spouse is so hot.”

Look, everyone who is married is attracted to their spouse. I get it! But we don’t need to awkwardly flex that to our students.

There’s a ton of purity culture indoctrination within those flex moments (think of the adage “if you stay pure God will bless you with an attractive spouse and amazing sex”). It also creates an unhealthy understanding of a relationship that is solely rooted in looks. That can cause all sorts of harm for students who struggle with body image.

It also makes things super awkward for your spouse because now they are being objectified not just by their partner but an entire youth group.

3 “Shake it off, you’ll be fine.”

As your career in student ministry progresses, you will undoubtedly deal with all types of injuries from minor scratches and boo-boos to the more severe kind that involve hospital trips and phone calls. In between those two categories are multiple types of injuries that we may be inclined to simply say, “you’re fine, rub some dirt in it.”

But the reality is we should treat every injury with importance, care, and appropriate response. It should be noted that the level of care and response will change depending on the severity of the injury. Don’t assume that a student who fell and hit their head is okay just because they say so. When a student complains about a twisted ankle don’t just toss them a couple Advil without checking it and consulting parents.

Part of being a shepherd to students is caring well for them, even when their mistakes or lack of maturity and body control cause injury.

4. “That sounds dumb” or “I don’t understand you.”

Have you ever had a student share a hobby or interest with you that just baffled you? We all have had one of those students who has been so into something it just makes you scratch your head and wonder what is happening.

Maybe you’ve had someone who is really into juggling, a student who love LARPing, or a student who just loves lifting and protein way more than they should. I know I’ve had quite a few students who have loved different things that have left me wondering what I just heard about.

But here’s the thing: if we dismiss that student or their interest, we are devaluing them and telling them they don’t have a place in youth group and the church because they have weird or unique interests.

5. “Read your Bible and pray more.”

I know we are looking to help our students grow and develop solid spiritual rhythms and maturity. And that means that yes, we should encourage them to read their Bibles and pray.

But when students come to us with difficulties, struggles, and issues in their lives, our response should not be to passively dismiss it by telling them to read the Bible more and to pray harder. Instead we should listen, help them process, create an action plan, and take the necessary steps to help them in those moments.

These are not singular moments in time, but more often than not, long term engagements that involve actively walking with and caring for your students.

What else would you add to our list of things you shouldn’t say at youth group?

5 Tips for Intentional Leader Training

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We just wrapped up our fall student leader training and we are so excited for how it went and all God is going to do this year.

Historically, our leader training sessions weren’t always successful, nor were they always helpful. They used to contain the same information year after year, and they were not something leaders wanted to attend, nor were they a priority.

But that changed when we decided to make the sessions more intentional. It wasn’t an overnight change and there were some challenges in trying to create lasting and intentional change. That doesn’t mean it isn’t worth it, but instead highlights the reality that change isn’t instantaneous.

It took time and effort. It required listening and adaptation. It meant trying and being honest in determining what worked and what didn’t.

In short, creating intentional leader training takes time and thoughtfulness, but the end result is an amazing atmosphere of collaboration. It also helps to create a group of relationally-focused leaders who are growing and committed.

Today, I want to share five tips for hosting intentional leader training:

1. Create the environment.

If I am being honest, this is not something I initially considered nor am I always good at cultivating. I would focus on other aspects of training like sharing pertinent information and interactive elements.

But when a coworker asked me what my theme was for training it made me stop and think. Partly because I had no answer but also because I realized the necessity of creating a theme and environment. When our team began to theme our training, it became more of a fun and engaging environment that our leaders wanted to be a part of.

Theming doesn’t have to be a large production, but it is something you carry through your training holistically. For an example, we hosted our training with a Jaws-inspired theme. We had different take home items like stickers and squishies that were “sea” oriented. We utilized sharks and water illustrations for our slides. And we created a snack bar that had “ocean” themed snacks.

2. Have food.

This may seem trivial but food is a key part to intentional training. Food creates an atmosphere that feels warm and welcoming, and it communicates value and worth.

Think about the last time you were over someone’s house. Did they offer you food? Whenever someone offers food or drink, you feel seen, valued, and appreciated.

Hospitality is key to helping leaders feel loved and cared for, and food is one way to do this. You don’t need to cater your training, nor do you need to drop hundreds or thousands of dollars.

It could be as simple as having fruit and coffee with fun creamer flavors. It could be a cheese tray with crackers, fun candy at the tables, mocktails, or chips and dip. By bringing in food and drinks, you are communicating value and worth to your leaders.

3. Make it relational.

One of the best things you can utilize for intentional leader training is relational opportunities. This can be in how you set up the room and seating arrangements. It can also be done through creating organic times for fellowship and conversation.

This comes into play by how you interact and engage with leaders during the training. Allow for communal and conversational opportunities throughout the training whether it’s in small group breakouts, prayer times, idea sharing opportunities, games or team building, or through a Q&A time. These are just some of the ways you can utilize relational opportunities at your training.

4. Incorporate spiritual rhythms.

Training shouldn’t only be about the practical nature of working with students and the circumstances with which leaders may engage. It should also focus on cultivating a spiritual maturity and depth in their relationship with Jesus.

In order to do this, we must make sure that we are each growing in our own walk with Jesus. So taking time to engage in spiritual rhythms not only helps us to grow but also provides a revitalization and refreshment for your team.

Taking time to pray and worship together, to engage with Scripture, to practice pausing and refreshing are some of the steps you could take to help your leaders engage with Jesus during your training.

5. Make it collaborative.

Collaboration is highly important for team training. Utilizing additional voices outside of paid church staff is essential as it elevates different voices and allows them to use their gifts and expertise to help others grow and flourish.

This can be done through having others lead part of the training, or by having your team engage with one another, or by utilizing activities that allow everyone to share their ideas and tips for student ministry.

However you choose to incorporate collaboration, make sure that you don’t just hear what is said but also think through follow-up and implementation. You may hear great ideas and suggestions, but failing to act upon those ideas communicates a lack of collaboration and value to your team.

Caring for Hurting Leaders

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One of the realities of serving in ministry is you will be dealing with hurt, pain, and loss. It could be helping students navigate the hurt of a broken relationship, officiating a funeral, helping struggling couples, or a variety of other circumstances. Hurt and pain are very real and they are a very important part of our career as we have the privilege of walking with others.

In as much as we care for our church community holistically, today I want to think through what it looks like to care for hurting leaders who serve alongside us in our ministries. Our leaders deal with hurt and pain just as much as anyone else, but they also carry the burden of caring for students and their pain as well. So what are some ways that can we come alongside our people and care for them?

Be available.

One of the best things you can do for your leaders is be present when needed. When they are hurting, need to talk, or just need you to be present the best thing you can do is be there for them.

That could be as simple as sitting with them, listening and empathizing, offering counseling and direction, and being a friend to them. Those moments are critical and necessary in caring for your leaders who are hurting.

Utilize additional resources.

There may be times that you need to lean into additional resources in order to care well for your people. That could be counselors and mental health professionals, food or clothing banks, hotels for housing needs, funeral homes, financial counselors, and whatever other needs you may be able to help with.

You will need to build relationships and contacts with various organizations and agencies to help when needed. When you build your resource bank up, it allows you to better care for your people by connecting them with the necessary resources to help them.

When necessary, encourage a break.

There will be moments when your leaders are going through an exceptionally difficult time that needs both a friend to walk with them but also a caring leader to encourage a break. Often, youth leaders are deeply committed to serving and don’t want to let down their students by stepping away.

But the reality of leading well means that your leaders are holistically healthy. That means you need to be willing to encourage and challenge your leaders to take a break for their own wellbeing, healing, and restoration as needed. These aren’t easy conversations but they are needed ones that should consist of love, care, and shepherding.

Send a card and encouragement.

A tangible way of loving and caring for hurting leaders is sending a handwritten card and some kind of encouragement. We often send a DoorDash or Amazon gift card or flowers to our leaders who are hurting as a way of highlighting that they have a community who loves and cares about them

Follow up.

Often a time of hurt, pain, and grief is not just a singular moment but an ongoing one. There will be ongoing moments of pain and grief. As such, we have an obligation to continue to check in, love, and care for our people. Take them out for coffee, call them, have a conversation at youth group. These follow up moments signal that you still care and are aware of what they are going through and that they aren’t alone.

Trip Tricks: Staying Healthy

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Round two of our summer mission trips has officially started. In fact, if you’re reading this when it drops we are out serving for our first full day! I love going on these trips with our students and leaders and watching God work in and through them.

But there’s also some unique complexities to being the primary leader on trips. You’re often the first one out of bed and the last to bed. You’re the stop gap for all issues. You have to handle all the non-stop questions. You probably don’t have great sleeping arrangements. And the food, well depending where you go and what stage of life you’re in, it could be better or worse than what you have at home.

The crazy thing is that the complexities I listed are just the tip of the iceberg. The true reality is that trips can take a toll on us for a variety of reasons. We can’t always control what those may be or when they happen, but we can be proactive and intentional in being prepared for them.

In this post, I don’t want to try and focus on all the various ways to prepare for all the things that may come up. It would be much too long and at that point ineffective. Instead, I would like to focus on how you can stay healthy during the trips you go on.

Practice good hygiene.

Let’s be real: youth trips can be gross. Everyone is running around and getting sweaty. You may be doing dirty work on mission trips. Shower situations may be less than ideal. But those things shouldn’t stop you from practicing good hygiene.

Staying healthy means taking care of your body in all aspects. So making sure to shower, wash your hands, sanitize when possible, not drinking or eating after other people, and even things like wearing slides in the shower are big difference makers. The last thing you want is some kind of illness or bug from a trip, and practicing good hygiene helps in large ways.

Make sure to eat well.

The majority of trips I have been on with students have decent food. Decent in the sense that you can eat it and not feel horrible. But they aren’t necessarily healthy or balanced.

Usually it’s a lot of carbs and meat coupled with a dessert of some kind that is designed to give energy for the activities ahead. And yes, they do provide a quick burst of energy but they don’t keep you going for the long haul especially as you get older.

So look for more healthy and balanced options. Grab a salad and veggies when you’re able. Don’t grab two desserts, or maybe pass on them all together. Eat some fruit.

Is this always easy to do at camps and on mission trips? No. But it’s one way of being intentional that will help you stay healthy in the long run.

Drink lots of fluids.

When I first started out in student ministry I drank a lot of coffee throughout the day. I usually would down an entire pot on my own and I could drink it until late in the evening without it keeping me up. I drank more coffee than water and I did it every day, even on trips.

But I noticed something on a mission trip in a humid climate: I had headaches, I was always thirsty, and I felt lightheaded. I realized I had not been drinking water and my body was not hydrated.

Hydration is huge to staying healthy because our bodies are roughly 60% water, which means we need water to function well. Water also helps our bodies to release toxins by passing them through our system and without that we are at greater risk of getting sick. So proper hydration helps to ensure you stay healthy during and after your trip.

Get decent rest.

I know, I laughed too when I wrote this. You’re probably thinking, “Proper rest on a trip?! Are you crazy?” Nope, just experienced.

I get it: I don’t sleep well on trips either. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to. Having a time of proper rest and sleep is necessary for you to be a good leader and to stay healthy. I know it’s not easy on a camp mattress, or when the schedule lists a lights out time of 1:00 a.m., or your cabin smells like a high school locker room.

But I also know that we don’t have to pull an all-nighter and that there are things like AdvilPM and melatonin to help us sleep well. I’m simply saying that doing your best to achieve a decent time of rest and sleep will do wonders for your health and also prevent some of the crash that comes after the trip is over.

Take time to breathe.

“Nick! Hey Nick. Nick I have a question. Nickkkk!!”

Have you ever just sat in the silence after a trip to breathe? I do it all the time. I finally don’t have students constantly yelling for me or asking questions. Breathing is a good thing, but how do you do this on a trip?

One way to make sure you get space to breathe is to champion this principle with your crew. When your leadership team is on board it allows everyone space to breathe while knowing your group is still being cared for.

Another way would be to find a time where your group is otherwise occupied (team games, night games, devotional time, etc.) and give yourself the freedom to take even just a few moments to breathe and reset. These moments are key to being able to lead well as you get re-center and decompress briefly as you prepare to engage.

Be proactive.

Taking vitamin C before a trip, getting rest ahead of your departure, bringing hand sanitizer, and having the right medicines and resources for the trip will help to ensure you stay healthy. You cannot prepare for every circumstance or outcome, but being proactive and intentional will help you to stay healthy before, during, and after your trip.

Take time to refresh when you get home.

I didn’t always do this. In fact in some ministry settings the expectation was you’d be right back in the office after a trip. But it is so important to take time to recover and refresh after a trip so you can be the best version of yourself, the version God has designed you to be.

Refreshment may look different depending on your personality, but should at minimum include a nice shower, a good meal, time with family and/or close friends, and at least a full day off to decompress, process, and sleep.

A Reminder to Be Yourself

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Aren’t you a little old to be a youth pastor? Why aren’t you higher energy? You’re not the typical youth pastor, are you? Why don’t you play more games and more events? Shouldn’t you dress like students and know everything about culture?

If you’re like me, you’ve heard some of these questions at some point in your career. Maybe not the first question, especially if you’re just starting in youth ministry, but I’d be willing to bet we have all heard some version of these kinds of questions.

Truth be told, I struggled with my identity as a student pastor for many years. I went to all the conferences, followed all the trending youth workers and influencers, read all the articles, and began to craft our student ministry to look like the ones we saw online.

The reality of ministry in the age of media and technology is that we are consistently presented with a “picture” or “image” of what our ministries and—by extension, we—should look like.

And yes, there is a prototypical look for student ministries and student workers. I mean stop and think about this for a moment. If you were asked to describe what a “typical” youth ministry should look like, what would you say? What would you compare it to? What about you? Who would you compare yourself to or style your ministry and appearance after?

I think for many of us, we default to the popular, large, and financially capable ministries. Now hear me on this: I’m not saying that how those ministries and youth workers do ministry is wrong or broken or not beneficial. But that isn’t meant to be the standard or our standard. In fact, we need to embrace ourselves, our strengths, our context, and our students.

Too often we try to emulate or reflect what it seems like everyone else is doing. But the reality is this: our students don’t need a reflection, a copy, or what everyone else is doing or being. They need you!

They need you in their context, in their communities, and in their present reality. They don’t need someone else. They don’t need the next big thing. They don’t need the lights, the haze, the glitz and glam. We cannot compete or replicate all the bells and whistles of culture, nor should we try to. Our students need an authentic, transparent, and relational youth pastor who loves them where they are and is directing them to a radical, life-altering, world-changing relationship with Jesus.

When we understand that truth, we realize that each and every one of us has been uniquely chosen and gifted by God to reach those students in their contexts. We all have strengths and weaknesses, but God has planted us where we need to be right now.

Who you are is just as God designed you to be so you can lovingly shepherd and disciple students in their faith journey. Whether you’re an introvert or extrovert, someone who is artistic or someone who is a gamer, whether you love sports or would rather read a book, whether your style is on point or you simply grab what’s clean. God has intentionally placed you where are to be the best student worker possible and He has uniquely gifted you to that end.

So embrace who you are! Live out your gifting! Love students and point them to Jesus! Never try to be something you are not. Never cave to the pressures or presuppositions of culture. Don’t try to reflect, seek to be authentic.

By doing this, you will see your students not only grow closer to you but you will see them grab onto a Savior that loves them as much as He loves you and accepts them as they are.

Quick Tip: Recharge After a Trip

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When this post gets published I’ll be serving with a group of leaders and students in Hunt, Texas. This is our first mission trip of the summer and it’s one that is focused on helping a community rebuild and heal after devastating flooding.

I love taking students on mission trips and retreats. These moments are so important in the spiritual journey of students and I get the privilege of seeing God work in and through them in amazing ways. I always come away from these trips excited about what God is doing and seeing all the change that happens in the lives of my students as they serve and lead. I truly love going on these trips and sharing in the experience with my leaders and students and it’s one the many things I love about my job.

But can I be real with you? I’m also wiped out after these trips. I’ve realized I’m starting to get older and sleeping on a camp bunk or sleeping bags on the floor doesn’t always agree with me. Only getting a few hours of sleep for multiple nights on end runs me down. Being on for multiple days and not having any down time makes me feel depleted.

In fact, maybe you’re like me but when I get back from a trip and everyone has finally left to go home, I sit in my car for five minutes in silence. No more “Nick,” “Hey, Nick,” “Nick, can I.” It’s just…quiet. This is just one of my ways I recharge. The reality is trips require a lot from us and while they are amazing and beneficial, they also can be depleting to those who run and facilitate them.

So if trips are depleting, how do we actually recharge when they are completed? The truest answer I can give you is this: it depends on the person. I know what recharges me, but that doesn’t mean it’s the same for you. For me, recharging includes pausing and resting after a trip. That means I take some time off to recoup and catch my breath. I also love to clean up and put things away after a trip (I know I have a problem). I also enjoy having familiar food whether it’s a pizza from our local pizza shop or having a nice home cooked meal. But I’ll be honest and let you know that 99% of the time it’s a pizza because it’s easy, delicious, and means no prep.

For others it may be hanging out with friends, it might be reading, watching your favorite show, spending time with your spouse, or just a good nights rest in your own bed (can I get an amen?!). My point is this: you cannot keep running on coffee and adrenaline. I get it: coming back from a camp, a retreat, or mission trip you can feel that rush but I promise you that if you just run on that you’ll begin to feel depleted very quickly.

I wish someone had told me about the importance of recharging after trips. I wouldn’t take time off, I would just go right back to work. But that method will lead to faster burnout and depletion because you aren’t taking care of yourself. We must take intentional steps to ensure we have recharged and recovered so we can be the best version of ourselves to our families and the people we lead and disciple. Not taking time to recharge is actually harming ourselves and those we love. So, after a trip, my encouragement is simple: recharge in the way that best suits you. But make sure to be intentional about doing so. This isn’t just a quick power nap, but something that intentionally nourishes you so you can continue in the calling God has given to you.