Month: June 2026

A Reminder to Be Yourself

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Aren’t you a little old to be a youth pastor? Why aren’t you higher energy? You’re not the typical youth pastor, are you? Why don’t you play more games and more events? Shouldn’t you dress like students and know everything about culture?

If you’re like me, you’ve heard some of these questions at some point in your career. Maybe not the first question, especially if you’re just starting in youth ministry, but I’d be willing to bet we have all heard some version of these kinds of questions.

Truth be told, I struggled with my identity as a student pastor for many years. I went to all the conferences, followed all the trending youth workers and influencers, read all the articles, and began to craft our student ministry to look like the ones we saw online.

The reality of ministry in the age of media and technology is that we are consistently presented with a “picture” or “image” of what our ministries and—by extension, we—should look like.

And yes, there is a prototypical look for student ministries and student workers. I mean stop and think about this for a moment. If you were asked to describe what a “typical” youth ministry should look like, what would you say? What would you compare it to? What about you? Who would you compare yourself to or style your ministry and appearance after?

I think for many of us, we default to the popular, large, and financially capable ministries. Now hear me on this: I’m not saying that how those ministries and youth workers do ministry is wrong or broken or not beneficial. But that isn’t meant to be the standard or our standard. In fact, we need to embrace ourselves, our strengths, our context, and our students.

Too often we try to emulate or reflect what it seems like everyone else is doing. But the reality is this: our students don’t need a reflection, a copy, or what everyone else is doing or being. They need you!

They need you in their context, in their communities, and in their present reality. They don’t need someone else. They don’t need the next big thing. They don’t need the lights, the haze, the glitz and glam. We cannot compete or replicate all the bells and whistles of culture, nor should we try to. Our students need an authentic, transparent, and relational youth pastor who loves them where they are and is directing them to a radical, life-altering, world-changing relationship with Jesus.

When we understand that truth, we realize that each and every one of us has been uniquely chosen and gifted by God to reach those students in their contexts. We all have strengths and weaknesses, but God has planted us where we need to be right now.

Who you are is just as God designed you to be so you can lovingly shepherd and disciple students in their faith journey. Whether you’re an introvert or extrovert, someone who is artistic or someone who is a gamer, whether you love sports or would rather read a book, whether your style is on point or you simply grab what’s clean. God has intentionally placed you where are to be the best student worker possible and He has uniquely gifted you to that end.

So embrace who you are! Live out your gifting! Love students and point them to Jesus! Never try to be something you are not. Never cave to the pressures or presuppositions of culture. Don’t try to reflect, seek to be authentic.

By doing this, you will see your students not only grow closer to you but you will see them grab onto a Savior that loves them as much as He loves you and accepts them as they are.

Quick Tip: Recharge After a Trip

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When this post gets published I’ll be serving with a group of leaders and students in Hunt, Texas. This is our first mission trip of the summer and it’s one that is focused on helping a community rebuild and heal after devastating flooding.

I love taking students on mission trips and retreats. These moments are so important in the spiritual journey of students and I get the privilege of seeing God work in and through them in amazing ways. I always come away from these trips excited about what God is doing and seeing all the change that happens in the lives of my students as they serve and lead. I truly love going on these trips and sharing in the experience with my leaders and students and it’s one the many things I love about my job.

But can I be real with you? I’m also wiped out after these trips. I’ve realized I’m starting to get older and sleeping on a camp bunk or sleeping bags on the floor doesn’t always agree with me. Only getting a few hours of sleep for multiple nights on end runs me down. Being on for multiple days and not having any down time makes me feel depleted.

In fact, maybe you’re like me but when I get back from a trip and everyone has finally left to go home, I sit in my car for five minutes in silence. No more “Nick,” “Hey, Nick,” “Nick, can I.” It’s just…quiet. This is just one of my ways I recharge. The reality is trips require a lot from us and while they are amazing and beneficial, they also can be depleting to those who run and facilitate them.

So if trips are depleting, how do we actually recharge when they are completed? The truest answer I can give you is this: it depends on the person. I know what recharges me, but that doesn’t mean it’s the same for you. For me, recharging includes pausing and resting after a trip. That means I take some time off to recoup and catch my breath. I also love to clean up and put things away after a trip (I know I have a problem). I also enjoy having familiar food whether it’s a pizza from our local pizza shop or having a nice home cooked meal. But I’ll be honest and let you know that 99% of the time it’s a pizza because it’s easy, delicious, and means no prep.

For others it may be hanging out with friends, it might be reading, watching your favorite show, spending time with your spouse, or just a good nights rest in your own bed (can I get an amen?!). My point is this: you cannot keep running on coffee and adrenaline. I get it: coming back from a camp, a retreat, or mission trip you can feel that rush but I promise you that if you just run on that you’ll begin to feel depleted very quickly.

I wish someone had told me about the importance of recharging after trips. I wouldn’t take time off, I would just go right back to work. But that method will lead to faster burnout and depletion because you aren’t taking care of yourself. We must take intentional steps to ensure we have recharged and recovered so we can be the best version of ourselves to our families and the people we lead and disciple. Not taking time to recharge is actually harming ourselves and those we love. So, after a trip, my encouragement is simple: recharge in the way that best suits you. But make sure to be intentional about doing so. This isn’t just a quick power nap, but something that intentionally nourishes you so you can continue in the calling God has given to you.

Don’t Just Wing It

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“Don’t worry about it. It’s just one week and they won’t care. Just wing it.”

I’ll never forget this conversation that happened early on in my student ministry career. It was a busy week with multiple unexpected add-ons and I was struggling to put together a lesson for my students. I asked a friend for some advice on what to do and they gave me the above quote.

Honestly, when they said that to me, my first thought was, “Yeah, that’ll work.” But the more I ruminated on it, the less receptive I became. I managed to restructure my week and put together an intentional lesson for my students. Was it my best? No. Was it super impactful? Maybe, that’s up to my students to say. But was it intentional and thoughtfully designed for them? Yes.

Too often ministry gets busy. Our weeks and lives are often thrown off by random meetings, activities, our personal lives, and more. Rarely do I have two weeks in a row that are the same. There’s always something to do and it feels like our work is never done. But that shouldn’t stop us from intentionally putting together lessons and messages for our students.

Students have long been the recipients of lackadaisical teaching. Whether in the church or school settings. In fact, some of my interns this year told me stories of teachers using AI to craft their lessons or just showing videos for weeks on end. This is not a shot at teachers because the majority of them are amazing, but instead a treatise on the reality of the teaching and guidance our students are receiving.

Students desire authenticity. They want interpersonal connection. They want to ask questions and wrestles with things they are being taught. They want to know people care. They long to be seen.

When we wing it and don’t put intentional effort and thought into our ministry, we are causing more harm than good to our students. I’m not saying there aren’t times when we have to put something together on the fly, but that should not be how we conduct ministry regularly.

As ministers of the Gospel we have a responsibility to God and the people we serve to do our best when it comes to leading, speaking, and discipleship. We cannot and should not simply “wing it” as an approach. Our students deserve the best because that is what Jesus offered to His disciples and encouraged all of them to offer the people to whom they ministered.

So what should we do if our schedules are overwhelming, if we feel stretched to our max, if it seems like we are constantly underwater and fighting to just make it through each week?

I think first and foremost you need to step back and see what can be changed or removed from your plate and schedule. Are there things you don’t need to be doing? Are there aspects of your ministry you could offload? Could you change your rhythms or restructure how you manage your time?

I also think it is worthwhile to assess how your teaching is formatted and your ministry setting. How long do you teach for? Would it be helpful to trim that back? How is your program structured? Could you reassess how it flows in order to better help you with planning and weekly preparation? Are there trusted individuals and volunteers you could empower to help teach, prepare, and facilitate your ministry?

Another aspect to consider is talking with your direct supervisor. Being honest and sharing where you are at is not an admission of failure or inability. It’s a sign of strength. We are not meant to do all the things nor should we. Instead, we need to share the load and asking for help takes us away from a me-centered approach to truly what Jesus had in mind by empowering multiple people to serve and facilitate the ministry.

My encouragement to you is this: be thoughtful, intentional, and relational in how you lead and teach. Don’t just wing it, but be purposeful. By doing the things that we shared, not only are you being intentional with your ministry, you are also protecting yourself from burnout, offering the best to your students, and empowering others to lead.

Planning Ahead: Senior Commissioning

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It is never too early to begin preparing to honor your seniors. I am a firm believer that when we celebrate our graduates it should be more than simply marching them on stage and presenting them to the congregation. These are young adults that we have poured into for years through the discipleship process and we are now sending them out as ambassadors for the kingdom of heaven.

This isn’t just a celebration, it’s a commissioning. We are sending students all over the world in a variety of spheres, and they will have limitless opportunities to reach others with the Good News. That means we must be intentional, thoughtful, and relational in how we commission them, which requires planning ahead to ensure success and intentionality.

No matter how many seniors you have, you should begin preparing in January of their graduation year. Stepping into these moments and thoughtfully preparing for them will help make them thoughtful and intentional. Here are a few key ways to make this time special for your seniors.

Make it intentional and thoughtful.

I’ve referenced this a handful of times in this post but I haven’t shared how we actually do this. You know your students and families. You have sojourned with these young adults through the ups and downs of their lives. You know their stories.

What I’m saying is this: you know how to best make this moment intentional. You know what speaks best to your students and what will encourage them.

You can do this through a church-wide commissioning where they are prayed over. It may be through honoring and celebrating them at youth group. You could allow your seniors to share their anecdotes and encouragements to their peers at a senior night. You could put together a special brochure honoring your graduates, send them a personal card, or provide a special night for their small group.

These moments are up to you, but the intentionality and thoughtfulness you put into them will help honor and celebrate your graduates.

Provide next steps.

I’ll be honest with you and share that this was something I didn’t always do well. When we were serving in Iowa, I just assumed our college ministry would automatically pick up where we left off, but that wasn’t the case. I’ve learned we need to provide next steps to ensure our students have opportunities to continue connecting with the local church.

For graduating seniors, you have put in seven or more years building relational equity and trust. That means that your insight and voice matter when helping students take next steps. Intentionally connect them with your college and young adult ministries. Utilize college ministries for those going to college. Find opportunities for students to serve in your church and where they are going.

Next steps aren’t just about a handoff, it’s about continuing the discipleship process in meaningful ways to help your graduates thrive.

Utilize the body.

This is something we have started to do at our church and I love it because it helps our students to see they are supported and loved, and also an important part of the church.

One of the ways we utilize the body is by having them pray over our students during the commissioning. It’s a powerful moment as we ask for families, friends, small group leaders, and others who have walked with these students to come and lay hands on them as we send them out on mission.

We also ask our entire church body to stand and pray for our graduates as we commission them and for them to commit to being for our seniors as they continue to grow. You could also utilize the church to help honor your students by asking them to host a meal for the seniors and families. You could also ask for the church staff and church as a whole to sign cards and commit to praying for the graduates.

Create intentional moments for families.

When I think about our senior commissioning, I’m always trying to find intentional opportunities to include families. Inviting families on stage to pray over their students is one way we seek to do this.

We also set aside time for families to encourage, pray for, and speak truth over their graduate during the reception. We have heard how busy families are and how thankful they are when we slow things down and provide space for them to intentionally engage with one another. Helping families engage is key and it’s something our graduates will remember for years to come.

Provide a special gift.

Do you remember what your gift was from your church when you graduated (if you got one)?

I think I got a book when I graduated. I’m not sure what the book was and I’m pretty sure it became a doorstop during college. That’s not a shot at my youth pastor at all. I know him and I believe the gift was meant to be thoughtful, but there was no explanation or guidance to it. It was simply “here’s a book.”

I’m fully aware that budgets vary throughout ministries, and I’m not arguing for big or expensive gifts, but rather one that’s thoughtful and personal.

It could be a student’s favorite candy bar and handwritten card. Maybe it is a book inscribed with a personal note and a gift card to Starbucks so the student can share their story with their friends. Perhaps it’s a gift bag with candy, snacks, fun little celebratory gifts, and a special gift for the graduate. The purpose with a gift is to provide something that is special, intentional, personal, and practical.

Quick Tip: Ask for Help

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I’ll never forget the first time I used the coffee pot in our church office hallway. I’ve drank coffee for most of my life and I’ve brewed coffee in more coffee pots than I can count. And how hard could it really be? Well, harder than I thought. There were two buttons and I hit the wrong one which actually cycled the machine off and took an exceptionally long time to restart and reheat to make the coffee.

The worst part: I was with another staff member who was showing me around and rather than ask for help I asserted “I know how this works.” And as they were trying to explain what not to do, I hit the wrong button.

Now, hopefully, you can laugh along with me at the absurdity of this true story, but let me pose a question. Have you ever tried to do something on your own without asking for help? Have you ever done that knowing you should ask for help?

From my experience, it can be extremely difficult for those serving in ministry to ask for assistance. I believe this is rooted in a variety of reasons including being told we are part of an elite group after graduating from college or grad school. We know how to function in isolation, we have learned to trust ourselves and our motivations, we have become fairly self sufficient, and perhaps there has been a lack of effective and helpful guidance.

Regardless of the reason why, many ministry leaders are hesitant to ask for help and that is extremely problematic. When we try to go on our own, when we refuse to seek help, when we simply try to push through, these responses will inevitably lead to burn out, anger and frustration, hurt, bitterness, and further isolation. I’ve seen this too many times to count and I’ve been there as well. Trying to do it on our own and not asking for help is a recipe for disaster.

When we live and work in isolation we aren’t just hurting ourselves, but also building ourselves into isolation and potentially causing harm to others by not allowing them to thrive. When we go at it on our own we are not actually giving our people what they need because we are often leading out of emptiness. Leading out of emptiness is not helpful to anyone and is destructive to yourself and those you’re leading.

So what are we supposed to do?

Ask for help. It sounds simple, but it is also incredibly hard because it means admitting we cannot do it all on our own. This can feel like failure, but it is actually life saving. Asking for help feels incredibly difficult and near impossible in the moment, but doing so will actually help you flourish, refresh, and release the weight you shouldn’t be carrying.

Here’s what I would suggest: find someone you can be authentic with and share how you’re feeling. After you’re done sharing how you’re feeling progress in one of these ways: ask them for help and give them permission to do so, ask them to go with you to the person (i.e. a supervisor) to help advocate for you. Be willing to listen to their suggestions and implement them. Part of being authentic means owning what is happening and not suffering in silence. But in order for that to be beneficial, you also need to be willing to hear and receive help.

Admitting you need help is difficult. Being willing to receive help is harder still. However, when you admit and receive help, you are removing the weight you’ve placed on yourself or the weight that has been placed on you, and allowing for the body of Christ to truly be the body as they walk with and care for you.

If you need someone to talk to, or an advocate, know that we are here for you. We’d be honored to hear your story and to walk with you.