vacation

Have you ever needed a vacation? Of course you have; we all have. But let me ask a different question: Have you ever needed a vacation but couldn’t afford one?

Those of us in ministry are acutely aware of the reality that we didn’t go into this profession to get rich. We know that working for a nonprofit isn’t necessarily going to have us rolling in the dough, and there will be plenty of times when we may have pinch pennies (or nickels since pennies are not being made anymore) to get by.

In my years of serving in ministry and talking to other ministers and church workers, one of the places that typically gets pinched or cut early on is a vacation or time away.

This is honestly heartbreaking because not only does it devalue the work that pastors and church workers do, but it also doesn’t allow for them to recharge well. It keeps their families from being able to enjoy time away with their loved ones.

I’ve met countless pastors whose families have never taken a vacation unless someone else paid. I’ve talked to kids of pastors who have been made fun of because they never understood what it was like to take a vacation because all they did were staycations.

This should evoke much deeper conversations about compensation, care, and support for pastors, but that is a conversation for another time. What I want to talk about today is a resource to pastors that offers reduced and free stays at homes and retreat centers around the country. Essentially, think about staying in an Airbnb or Vrbo for free and being able to spend quality time with your family refreshing and recharging. Sound too good to be true? It’s not.

Let me introduce you to Pastor Stays. One of my good friends mentioned this to me when I was thinking about taking a vacation and trying to find a place to stay. When you head to their website, you’ll see a handful of the stays they have and be able to read up on the history and mission of the organization.

This is a ministry that came about during the 2020 pandemic from the vision of Troy and Jana Jones to bless other pastors and their families. Their heart truly radiates as you read through the website and see their desire to care for others.

In order to get access to their website, you need to create a profile and it is a little extensive. They want to get basic information but also to know who is applying. They ask for ministry history and your story. They will also ask for documentation like your ministry credentials to validate that you’re actively serving in ministry and truly a pastor.

When I filled it out, I realized that my ordination certificate was from the first church I pastored and I wasn’t sure if it would be approved. I reached out to their team and received a quick response stating that my ordination would be received without issue and once it was submitted my application would be reviewed.

Each submission is looked at by the Pastor Stays team to validate that a pastor is actually applying and seeking to appropriately utilize this resource. Once approved, you’ll have access to all the different homes and rooms available on the site.

The search function doesn’t always work well if you’re looking for something in a place where there aren’t available homes. However, all of the homes are listed on the home page. The list will ebb and flow as more homes become available.

When you click on the place you’d like to stay you’ll be met with photos, a description of the property, amenities and additional details. If this property works for you, you can submit a brief form requesting to book the property. Many of the properties are free but some do require a reduced payment.

One of the realities of utilizing this website is that these properties may require a bit of travel to get to. However, not having to pay or paying a reduced cost for your stay can make the cost of traveling a little more palatable and affordable. Overall this is an amazing blessing and opportunity for pastors and their families, and we would highly recommend taking advantage of this resource.

If you’re like me, taking a vacation can actually be hard. Not because we don’t want to vacation and take a break, but because we feel the strong pull of commitment to our jobs as ministers. We want to make sure everything and everyone we serve is doing okay and so we are willing to push our own needs and those of our families to the side.

We will answer phone calls, texts, and emails while we are on vacation. We will work on solving problems and message prep. We will do work instead of pausing and spending time with those who are closest to us. We will not actually pause but continue to go. I don’t say this to make you feel bad but instead to help us see the reality of what is going on in our lives.

And believe me, up until a little over a year ago, I was there with you. I was checking emails on vacation, responding to texts, and not being fully present while on vacation with Elise. I took my laptop and work items with us when we went away. I was on the phone with volunteers and families.

I didn’t actually pause and take time to refresh. I totally understand that pull to care for our people and to ensure the success of what we are doing. I know that comes from a good place, but even things that come from a good place can morph into problematic habits and rhythms. This isn’t meant to be a critical post or one to break you down, but instead to cause us to pause and reflect on our hearts and to think through how we can vacation well.

Set boundaries.

Boundaries are a big part of being able to vacation well. If you have unspoken expectations that aren’t met, you and your family will consistently be disappointed. What I mean is this: you can’t expect there to be boundaries if you don’t share them. You need to tell your coworkers, your leaders, and even your students that you will be away and not available. You must set up auto replies for your emails saying you’re away. You need to leave work at work which may mean turning off your phone or putting it on airplane mode and leaving your laptop at home. Setting boundaries will not only help you relax and decompress, it will also allow you to be wholly present with your family.

Be honest with your spouse and vacationing partners.

This is an aspect about vacationing that we don’t always think about and something I know I have to work on. I told Elise that I didn’t want to work on our most recent vacation and that I was going to leave my laptop at home. But I also knew I could check my work email on my phone so I asked her to help keep me accountable. Between the both of us, I stayed away from work and vacationed well. But that only happened because I was transparent with Elise about what I needed help with.

For all of us who serve in ministry, we need to be honest about the pull of ministry work even when we are on vacation. Take the time to talk through it before the trip and give people permission to speak into your life, hold you accountable, and challenge you in your growth.

Leave work stuff at work.

This can be difficult in ministry because we feel the call God has placed on our lives and the burden we have for helping those God has placed under our care. I get it, I feel that tension as well. But we must also understand that God didn’t design us to be beings who continuously work without taking a break.

In fact, God intentionally designed the Sabbath to force us to take a break because He knew that work could and would become an idol for us. If you look at the story of Elijah you will see that even in the Old Testament, leaders struggled to take a break and God had to force Elijah to rest and eat. We don’t do a good job of pausing and leaving work stuff at work. We do just the opposite and we allow it to cripple and overwhelm us.

What we need to do is leave work at work and be wholly present with those we are vacationing with. That means not taking work items on vacation. It may mean turning off your phone. And it definitely means not being on call while you’re off from work. A great way of practicing this may be to actually leave all your work items at work or at home if you’re traveling. If you’re doing a stay-cation and your work stuff is at home, it may mean having someone hold you accountable to make sure you’re not engaging with work items.

Communicate with your team and students.

One thing that will help you actually vacation is not having interruptions. That means communicating to your team, your students, and others that you will be away. That doesn’t mean they can’t contact you, but you are establishing healthy boundaries and highlighting the necessity for rest and refreshment. When you clearly communicate that you will be away and the parameters surrounding that time, you are making sure to establish the necessary boundaries that are needed for you to vacation well.

Stay off social media.

When I took my mental health leave of absence over a year ago, one of the things I did was take a break from all social media. And honestly, it was one of the best things I have ever done. So much so that I decided to stay off of social media indefinitely. I’m not going to tell you that you need to get off of social media forever, but I will say that staying off of it while on vacation is vital.

Social media, while fun and engaging, can also be depleting and force you to focus on work. You’re most likely friends with people from work, students and parents, and your leaders which will cause you to inadvertently think about work while on vacation. Social media can also distract you while you’re on vacation and keep you from fully refreshing and relaxing. Making sure to remove yourself from social media will actually give you more peace and rest while you’re on vacation.

Tag: vacation

Resource: Pastor Stays

Tips for Vacationing Well

What are some of your tips to help you vacation well?