Tag: leading

Theme Night Ideas: Fall Kickoff

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It’s the middle of August and that means the school year is rapidly approaching. Many of our students are getting in their final vacations and summer memories because they start school in just a couple of weeks. Families are beginning to shop for back to school items and students are beginning to finalize their class schedules.

This also means that ministries–ours included–are preparing for the fall launch. Our summer programming is scaled back due to living in a tourist town where most local families go away for the summer. Because of that, we look to kickoff our fall programming in a fun and celebratory way. We love to start the school year in a way that fosters community and is invitational, while at the same time highlights what our ministry is about and shares our vision.

A successful fall kickoff isn’t a capstone to the year or indication that everything will go smoothly throughout the school year. Instead, a successful fall kickoff helps to set your ministry up for a good year and it allows the tone to be set for your students. Today I want to share some ways you can make your fall kickoff special, meaningful, and intentional for your students.

Cast the vision well.

One of things that is always important to the start of the school year is making sure you cast your vision. It sets the tone for the year, highlights your priorities, and helps students and leaders know what your ministry is about. It allows you and your team to set the tone and direction for your group right from the onset of the ministry year. By doing this, students and families know your heart and passion for the ministry. It will also highlight the direction you are going and the reasons for doing so.

Utilize local resources.

I’ve talked about utilizing local resources in other posts, but in moments like these I love to do that. We typically see larger numbers at the start of the year because students are excited to be back. And with typically nicer weather this time of year, it affords us more options to utilize. We’ve partnered with local eateries and ice creameries for our kickoffs in the past, but you can honestly utilize any local business.

If you live in a farming community you may be able to host a whole hog cookout. If you live in a community known for a certain type of food or dessert, try to highlight that. If you have community groups that offer unique experiences like onsite laser tag or dunk tanks and weather allows, incorporate it into your kickoff. We live in Hershey and have highlighted chocolate at different points, but we also don’t want to overuse that one thing and so we look for other elements to highlight. Whatever your local resources, make sure to give them a shout-out and point your students and families to that aspect of the community.

Know your culture.

I could tell you all the things that we have tried to incorporate and have seen fail. I could also list out all the things I have done that have worked. But the truth of the matter is, some or none of those may work for you depending on the culture of your ministry. If you have students who just want to chill, setting up a large scale scavenger hunt won’t work. If you have students who love sports and active games, setting up 9 Square and playing capture the flag will probably be a win. At the end of the day, you need to know what your students are going to readily engage with and utilize those things to your advantage.

Create a celebratory moment.

Let’s be honest: going back to school isn’t a celebration for most of our students. But kicking off youth group, regathering with friends, and looking ahead are celebratory moments. So look to celebrate in ways your students will connect and relate to. This comes across in how you theme the gathering, the environment you create, how it’s communicated, and the way you and your leaders respond to it. When you and your leaders are having fun, your students will respond to that energy. It is also important to look at the environment. Do you have music, are leaders smiling and engaging, are the activities working, is there food, have you created opportunities for community? These questions will help us identify if this is truly a celebratory moment and also help us shift things if needed.

I would also encourage you to create a singular moment that everyone can celebrate. This can be pre-planned or something organic that happens in the moment. Let me explain. Every other year our church does outside services in the summer under a tent and it was still up when we did our fall kickoff. We had our music pumping and kids started to come up on the stage and dance. And let me tell you, some of our kids can truly bust a move! I was about to settle everything down and call students in for our brief message, but instead I called our students in and threw on a few songs they knew and our entire student body engaged in a dance party for about ten minutes. It was awesome and exciting and everyone was involved.

That’s an “in the moment” celebration. But perhaps pre-planning is better for some ministries. Maybe you celebrate and honor students who were baptized this summer. Perhaps you celebrate what God did on your mission trips or at camp. Maybe it’s welcoming in new students. Perhaps your students met a challenge and get to hit you with pies. Whatever it is for you, make sure to celebrate with your community.

Theme the evening.

This doesn’t need to be crazy or a brand new idea. Sometimes the proven themes can be the best for your group. We have tried to make our fall kickoff tailgate themed, but that never landed with our students. We did “Minute to Win It” for multiple years but it never really caught on. What has actually worked for our group is a theme around community and connection. We shape our kickoff around intentional moments and activities that foster connection and conversations. We also highlight our small groups and create two moments for connection during our kickoff. At the end of the day, however you theme your night has to be something that resonates with your community and draws them together.

Involve students and leaders.

Whenever I host kickoffs I like to highlight my leaders and introduce them, but I also love to make sure they get intentional time with their students. I also really enjoy getting my students involved in leading or facilitating part of the kickoff. This can include letting an intern take lead in the structure of the night. Or have students share their testimonies or stories of what they saw God do in and through them during your summer trips.

Set the challenge.

One of my favorite things to do is to honor and celebrate the successes we see our students already doing and challenge them to continue to do just that. Last year we saw our students invite a ton of friends to our kickoff and so I challenged them to let our ministry be a place where anyone and everyone could come and to continue inviting inviting their friends. This resulted in record numbers of new students attending our program and many of them becoming part of our community.

By setting a challenge or goal for your students, you are highlighting how they are the focus of the ministry. You are giving them identity, ownership, and purpose, and students will rise to that challenge. So think about what you’d like to challenge your students to this year and lay that out for them at your kickoff. I would also encourage you to remind them throughout the year and to celebrate the successes as they happen.

What’s In Your Back Pocket?

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“Feeling about his pockets, he finds the ring he had found earlier and had forgotten about, and asks out loud to himself, ‘What have I got in my pocket?‘” – The Hobbit

Sorry, I couldn’t help but dig into my nerdy side with this title. This isn’t a post about The Hobbit but instead is about being prepared at any time. Throughout my time in youth ministry it has been impressed upon me the importance of always having a backup plan. Or something in your back pocket. It’s essential to have something ready to go in case of the inevitable shift in plans, weather, attendance, or any of the hundreds of changes that happen during ministry.

This has often happened to me on mission trips. You go to visit a church in the community you’re serving in and they ask you to come and share, and what they really mean is give a sermon. Or you may be asked to go on visitation to a nursing home and they ask you to run the chapel that day. Perhaps you are put on the spot in a tragedy. Or maybe the main youth leader is out sick and running the night falls on you! What do you do? Are you ready to go? Should you just wing it?

I think for many of us, those are somewhat terrifying moments and situations. I can honestly say that I have experienced all of them. And having walked through them I have realized the necessity of being prepared and having messages, games, and questions you can default to. This isn’t to say you should live in fear wondering when you’ll be called on next, but rather to be prepared should you have the opportunity to step up. I want to share with you a few ways you can be prepared and have something your back pocket whenever you need.

Have easy no-prep games ready to go.

We have written on our favorite little- or no-prep games before, and having games that you know how to run that don’t need any supplies is a must. A favorite of mine is pull up which you can find by clicking the link to the earlier post. And manhunt or capture the flag are also super easy because it just involves people, space, and maybe a couple quick objects for a game. If you don’t have the space or the weather outside isn’t cooperating, think about playing spoons or mafia. Anything can be utilized to take the place of spoons, except sharp things, and mafia requires only a deck of cards.

Always have generic small group or discussion questions.

Small group questions are the norm for many programs but they often come from the lead person for that ministry. If you were asked to take over for an evening or an event, do you have small group questions you can utilize? Having generic questions will allow your students or team to engage with the lesson or material and better seek to apply it to their lives. Generic questions typically won’t work every week, but in a pinch these are a great way to ensure conversation in large and small groups.

Here are some general questions that we incorporate each week alongside our specific questions that relate to the lesson:

  • What is one good thing and one difficult thing that happened this week?
  • What stood out to you from the talk?
  • What challenged you from the talk?
  • What were some of the key topics and themes from the message?
  • What was the big idea from tonight’s conversation?
  • What is one part of the message that you want to explore more?
  • What is one thing you can practically apply to your life this week?
  • What prayer requests do you have?

Always have a message or two that you know by heart.

This is something I learned on my very first mission trip as a student. We were told we may need to share a devotion at some point on the trip, but what we didn’t know was that devotion would be shared in front of a church and was actually the Sunday message. I had volunteered to share prior to the trip and was shocked when I found out I’d be in front of the church. I don’t remember what I said but I remember the pastor coming up afterwards and thankfully expounding on it.

I wish I could say that mission trip was the only time that happened but I can’t. I’ve been asked to preach multiple times on mission trips when we enter a church building. I’ve also been asked to share a message of hope to a large group of students and families when I arrived as a grief counselor to an unexpected tragedy involving a student. I wasn’t prepared for that but I knew I needed to be able to offer some sort of comfort and hope to a hurting group of people. I know it’s not always easy to be prepared in the moment. But if you have a hand full of messages for a variety of circumstances memorized and ingrained in your mind and heart, you will find yourself better prepared to tackle those surprise moments.

A few messages I have in my back pocket include a general one on God’s grace and gift of salvation; one on grief, pain, and hope; and two based off of my favorite passages of scripture from Psalm 1 and Ephesians 3. These are all messages that have personal connections to my life and are ones I have worked on for years to make sure they have been honed and internalized. By utilizing personal connections and practicing them, they become ingrained and part of us, which means they are ready to go even when we are surprised to learn we will be teaching.

We want to know: what are some things that you keep in your back pocket?

How to Host a Respite Day

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One of the best parts of my job is working with our special needs ministry. I have the amazing privilege of overseeing a wonderful team of volunteers who love and guide our students in that ministry. Aside from being a ministry I believe every church should have (that’s another conversation for a later post), this is a ministry that truly brings me so much joy.

I started with the special needs ministry when the person overseeing it moved on to a different ministry organization. I’ll be honest and say that I was woefully ill-prepared and had no idea what I was doing. I had never been trained or taught about this while in school, and this is the first church that I have been to that actually has a special needs ministry.

So I went into my first meeting with the team and just asked questions and sought to learn. I dove into books, contacted churches who have special needs ministries, and sought to grow in my ability to walk with and disciple these amazing young people. Through all of that, I got to know my team and our students better and truly began to understand and have a heart for this ministry just like my leaders. And it was through one of my leaders that we began to host our Respite Days again.

Respite days were something our church hosted before COVID and before I started on staff, and honestly, I was a little nervous about hosting them. My mind ran toward all the liabilities, the different needs students had, the guidelines we needed, the number of volunteers, and so much more. If I am being honest though, it was fear that kept me from being willing to host these days in the beginning. Fear of the unknown and what-ifs. Fear of failing. Fear of letting down our students and families who already are marginalized and isolated.

But after some loving and continued prodding from my team, we hosted a respite day in January of this past year and it was a huge success! So much so that we are now hosting one in the summer, fall, and spring of each year. What I’d love to share with you today are a few key ways you can host your own respite day and how you can help ensure it is a success.

Have a sign up process.

The sign up process shouldn’t just be about gathering names, addresses, or other contact info, but about getting to know the students and their families. You should have options for understanding the students and their disabilities and how you can best care for them. You should also look to understand what their triggers are and how they interact with others. Doing this allows you to better serve, love, and care for the students. I’d also encourage you to have a place where you can ask the families if they have any prayer requests or needs, so you can assess whether your church can step in to help and walk with them.

Build a team.

One of the best things to have in place to make this a successful event is a quality team. Having people who understand students with special needs and how to love and care fore them is essential. But it’s also important to bring in people who simply love others well and care enough to learn and walk with them.

Utilize students.

Students with special needs often feel ostracized and alienated by their peers. And more often than not, students with special needs know that they are different and left out. So bringing in students to love and share in life with your group is a wonderful way to encourage them and help to build community. Seek out students who are good hosts and willing to spend time with others, and simply let them do that. Allow them to simply come and build relationships with their peers and to love on your special needs students.

Provide food.

Food is a natural way to lower walls and build community. Having snacks and a meal (if time allows) is a great way to make your environment welcoming and warm. But make sure that you know if certain foods or additives aren’t okay for your students. This is something that your intake form should have as a required question.

If parents don’t want their students having sugar, think about having fruit instead of fruit snacks. If they can’t have food dyes, look for more natural snacks. We have provided Goldfish crackers, pretzels, grapes, and Skinny Pop as snack items and we have had pizza and Chick-fil-A for meals. Whatever you choose, be intentional in what you pick to help make your atmosphere and the entire day feel special and celebratory.

Have a variety of activities.

In order for a respite day to be a success, it is highly important to have a lot of different activities to engage your special needs students. These could be Foosball, ping pong, four square, board games, puzzles, coloring and crafts, playing outside on a playground, drawing with chalk, watching a movie, or playing games on a Wii. We also provide fidget toys for our students who need them and we place them throughout the area we are using so they are ever-present.

We don’t necessarily structure our day with rigid timelines of what we want to do at specific times. Instead we have all the activities up and going to allow our students to engage organically with one another. We do make sure our leaders are present at each activity but we also allow students to choose their own adventure by picking what activity they would like to do.

Bless the families.

One thing I came to realize by serving with our special needs team is this: having a special needs child is extremely taxing and isolating. Most of these families feel alone and forgotten. And worst still, they don’t see churches as safe places for them or their kids. I’ve had multiple parents tell me they have been forced to leave a church as they were told their child wasn’t wanted because they are a disruption. These families are hurting and in need.

So if you’re able to, consider having gifts or gift bags for the students and for their families. For families, we write a card for them and include a gift card to a local restaurant along with information about our church and special needs ministry. For the students, we give new students The Biggest Story Bible by Kevin DeYoung, but everyone gets a gift bag with glow sticks, snacks, some fidget toys, stickers, colored pencils, a journal, sunglasses, and a special note to them from our special needs ministry team.

Utilize invitations.

When you are preparing to host a respite day make sure that you have invitations that you can use to invite people. Disperse them to your church community but also ask the families who have special needs students to invite their friends. Special needs families have their own communities and know one another well, so asking them to share the invitations will ensure that they invite their friends which will provide opportunities for unchurched people to step into your church.

Be hospitable.

Welcoming families as they arrive is key. There may be families who show up who have never been to your facility before, so having someone greet them is paramount to them feeling loved and accepted. Make sure your leaders have name tags and introduce themselves as they interact with the families to encourage them and to help them be put at ease as they leave their student with you.

Hospitality shouldn’t exist only when people arrive but also as students are picked up. Making sure you have a greeter and someone to walk parents and guardians back to their students is highly important and shows them that you value the safety and well-being of their child as well as caring for the parent.

Helpful Items for Leaders to Take on Mission Trips

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Mission trip season is upon us. This year we are taking two groups of students to vastly different places. Our scope and sequence for trips is to begin at the local level with middle school students and to build outward to regional and global missions as students move through their middle school and high school careers. This year we are doing an inner city trip nearby for middle and high school students and a disaster recovery trip for our upper classmen to Hazard, Kentucky.

Regardless of the trip you may be taking and where you are going, there are some essential things that all leaders of the trip should have ready to take with them and done before they leave. Today, I want to share some essentials that we take along on our trips and to hear what you take for your trips.

A good first aid kit.

Maybe this is because I have a background in security where we needed to be prepared for any situation and our first aid kits were stocked with everything and anything you could need. But I’ve also been in youth ministry long enough to know that you should prepare for the unexpected. This is why having a well stocked first aid kit is a necessity.

Too often we can default to a pre-made kit from the local mega store or Amazon, but they are usually packaged with very basic first aid items. My advice would be to buy a first aid backpack and stock it with your own items. That way you can switch out items for various trips and keep the consistent items in your bag to be adequately prepared.

Here are some things I would recommend for your kits: medicines like Benadryl, Advil, Tylenol, and Asprin; a good multi-tool; insurance info for you and your team; bandages including bandaids of various sizes, gauze, butterfly bandages, wraps and tape; eye wash; Propel powder or electrolyte pills; candy in case people have low blood sugar; intestinal medicine like Tums, Imodium, and Exlax; scissors; tweezers; splints and slings; cough drops; different ointments, wipes, and anti-itch creams; tissues; and hand sanitizer.

Coffee and tea.

You would think that these would be provided at any mission trip location, but more often than I’d care to admit I’ve found that isn’t the case. There have been multiple times where there isn’t coffee or the coffee is expired. That isn’t the fault of the agency or host because that isn’t their priority. But if coffee and tea are an important element for you and your leaders, it’s helpful for you to take some along as a way to care well for your team. I’d also encourage you to bring along a couple extra bags of coffee for your host as a way of blessing them.

Sunscreen, bug repellent, and remedies.

Many mission trips happen during the summer and require work that takes place outside. So having quality sunscreen and bug repellent appropriate for where you are serving is key. Make sure that you connect with the team or organization you are partnering with to get their recommendations for what to bring. It is also a good idea to have remedies for when they are needed. This could include things like aloe, after burn relief like Alocane, anti-itch cream, Cortizone, Neosporin, and similar products.

Flashlight, extra batteries, power strip, and adapters.

When it comes to being prepared for mission trips, flashlights and extra batteries are a must. Whether they’re being used to help on a project or for a game of manhunt or if you’re roughing it and need to find a bathroom at night, having a good flashlight and extra batteries are a necessity.

To go along with that, bringing a power strip and adapters when needed is also important. Have you ever been on a trip when there’s a limited amount of wall outlets? It can be incredibly difficult to charge everything and sometimes the outlets can get overloaded. So having a quality power strip is one of the best things you could bring along. If you’re traveling outside of the United States it is also important to have the right adapters for your electronics to ensure they will be charged and working abroad.

Travel documents.

Getting ready for a mission trip means having the right documentation for your destination. If you’re traveling nationally, you may not need much, but don’t only think in terms of passports. You may need an EZ-Pass or another electronic toll reader and you might need to have permission forms for various organizations that you’re partnering with. If you are traveling outside of the country you will need passports, immunization records, documentation for minors to travel abroad, and permission slips. These are some helpful things to think through and prepare for before leaving so you are properly equipped for your trip.

Extra money for incidentals.

The reality is that even with all the planning and support raising, incidentals will always occur on mission trips. Whether it’s purchasing extra supplies, taking a vehicle in for repairs, unexpected travel costs, or needing more food, things will happen. So make sure to have additional money for those moments. This can be both actual cash or making sure your credit cards have a proper credit line and. Doing this will help make sure you are adequately prepared. It is also important to make sure to put a travel notice on any credit cards. Some companies will put a fraud alert on your card if expenses are incurred that are outside your normal purchases, which can hamper your ability to use it on trips. So make sure you contact the company ahead of time to be prepared.

Communication.

If you’re traveling internationally or to an area that has poor cell reception, having a plan for communication back home or to needed contacts is important. This may mean purchasing an international phone and data plan, or scoping out if there will be access to WiFi in the area.

Protein bars and easy snacks.

I love to take snacks on any trip, but when you’re going on mission trips snacks aren’t always something we think about taking for a variety of reasons. But having some easy snacks and bars is essential because you may need them if someone is feeling lightheaded or faint from exertion, or for when your own student gets a little hangry. Some easy suggestions include Larabars, peanut butter crackers, protein bars, gummy candies or fruit snacks, and mints.

When you go on a mission trip, what are your must-haves?

Is it Wrong to Seek Advancement?

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When was the last time you thought about advancement in your position? Do you have any idea what that might look like? Does your church have a policy or program in place to help you advance and grow in your position?

How did those questions make you feel? I think that when many people enter into ministry they don’t often think about advancement. Sure, there might be the thought that advancement is “becoming the senior pastor,” but I would assert this is a false sense of advancement because not everyone is called to be a senior pastor.

Many people are called to be pastors but in a variety of roles because that is how God designed and gifted them. But if that is true, shouldn’t there be an opportunity to grow and advance in those positions? The answer is and should be “yes,” whether or not that is seen and understood by your superiors.

Before we even get to what your supervisors may think and desire for you, we must begin by looking internally to ascertain if this is the appropriate and needed advancement for ourselves. In order to help determine if you are correctly looking for advancement, it is helpful to ask the following questions.

Ask: Why?

There are a lot of “why” questions we could pose here. Why do I want this? Why am I not advancing? Why is advancement a good thing? Why should I want to advance? Asking “why” is all about authenticity. Are you being honest with yourself and with your employers? Was it your intent when you got hired to move forward? What does that even mean for you…what about for your church?

When we are thinking about advancement, the “why” question should force us to look inward. There are great reasons to move toward advancement, but there can also be selfish reasons that guide our desires. So by asking why, you are forcing yourself to think critically about your reasoning and desires.

Ask: What is my goal?

Often when we think about advancement we are thinking about position, title, and financial status. While none of these are inherently wrong, we should be aware of our true heart motivation for desiring advancement. I’ve worked in ministry circles long enough to watch people treat various ministries like stepping stones to get to the desired position of senior pastor. We can debate for days on why this is, the way churches are structured, how ministry schools train you to think, and the way churches elevate that position over others, but that would be missing the point.

The point is sometimes we value aspects of advancement that shouldn’t be our focus or desire. In ministry, we are called to shepherd and disciple those whom God has entrusted to our care, and to simply look for advancement without consideration of our true calling wouldn’t be honoring of that calling. I am not saying you shouldn’t think about yourself, your family, or your financial status, but we should be discerning our true goal. As we do this, it helps us think critically about how we minister and care for our people and it should also shape the authenticity we show to our church.

Ask: Whose desire is this?

Is it God’s desire or your own? You may have a desire or reason to seek advancement that is completely appropriate. You may need to advance to better support your family or pay off your debt. Those are valid and important reasons. However, there are times our desires aren’t centered properly, and that means we need to wisely discern whose desire we are following.

A metric we need to remember is that while our desires may not be wrong or improper, they aren’t ultimate. If you’re just getting an education to “move up” in your career, you aren’t necessarily listening to what God is saying, nor are you paying attention to the people you have been called to shepherd. Often our desires and God’s can go hand-in-hand, but there will be times that they don’t. A great way to help you discern this would be to bring an honest, trusted friend and mentor into the conversation to help you see whose desire you are following. Allow them to speak truth and help guide you in this process.

Ask: What does advancement mean for me?

Acknowledging what advancement looks like for you is important because it allows you to assess where you want to be and how you’re going to get there. It also gives you a starting point for conversations with your church and ministry. They may see advancement in terms of helping you grow in knowledge and education, but you may define it by title, position, or pay scale. Being able to define what advancement looks like gives you the ability to clearly and concisely communicate it. When you communicate what you see advancement as, it allows you to compare your perspective to that of your church and to see if they are in alignment.

At the end of the day, advancement isn’t wrong, but it is important to discern why we are seeking it, and how we are going about obtaining it. Growing and advancing in a career field is important, but it shouldn’t come at the cost of people. That goes for congregants and for you and your family. You should never see a ministry or church as a stepping stone or a means to an end, and likewise you shouldn’t just stay in a position if it is causing hurt and pain to you and your family. Discernment and wisdom from God and trusted mentors should always be a metric you seek out in this part of your career, and you should always be checking your heart.

My advice: always be a learner, always seek to grow, be honest about your desires and where your heart is, and always remember the calling God has given to you. Advancement isn’t wrong, but how we go about obtaining it is key.

Hosting a Meaningful Senior Commissioning

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It’s that time of year when we see all the graduation pictures, receive grad party announcements, and maybe even get invited to a graduation ceremony or two. We’ve written before about honoring seniors and helping to spiritually prepare them for college. In today’s post I want to focus in on one way to do that and offer some ways to do it well with a senior commissioning. I know for some ministries this time may have passed, but it doesn’t mean you can’t do something during the summer, or think about next year and how to impart new or different ideas into your current context and culture.

Let me first explain what I mean when I say senior commissioning. I grew up in churches that would recognize and celebrate seniors on a “senior Sunday,” and I must admit that this was my practice when I started working in student ministry. It usually comprises parading students onstage and, depending on the number, sharing their next steps. Then there’s usually a short word from the youth pastor followed by a brief prayer and applause from the congregation. There’s nothing wrong with this approach, but as I stepped back and assessed what we were doing and why we were doing it, I realized that there are more intentional, relational, and spiritual approaches we could take.

Out of that thought, and many refining steps along the way, we developed our senior commissioning. This is a multi-step approach to not only honoring seniors but also commissioning, encouraging, and preparing them for their next steps as they move beyond high school and student ministry. So let me explain the details for how this looks and how we strive to make this an intentional approach in our disciple-making process.

Communicate.

Months before we actually host our commissioning we reach out to our seniors and their families and let them know what will be happening. We also ask them to fill out a form that has specific information that we will utilize in a booklet for families and show on our screens during our commissioning in the church services. We ask for a senior photo, their favorite memories from their time in student ministries, what trips they went on with our program, what their plans are after graduation, and how can we pray for them. These pieces are all utilized to create a brochure that we give out to our congregants and families to highlight our students. We also continue to communicate with the seniors and families about what we are doing as we get closer to our commissioning ceremony.

Create gift bags.

We do a lot of gift bags throughout the year. We do leader gift bags for when they go on trips with us. There are gift bags for families when we host respite days. Gifts bags for our large training at the beginning of the school year. Gift bags at Christmas. And I’ll be honest, sometimes when you do a lot of gift bags, they begin to look the same. There may be subtle differences but they all have the same feel.

The reason I bring that up is because we want these bags to be thoughtful, intentional, relational, and student-specific. That means we have special name tags and personalized cards instead of a generic gift bag with a general card. We also add in cards signed by our whole staff team and a personalized letter signed by our student team and senior pastor letting them know we are for them and this is their church that loves them. We put in some candy because you know…student ministry. We put in celebratory items like glow sticks and confetti poppers. We get them either book about following Jesus in college or a devotional. Sometimes we throw in a gift card to a local dessert shop.

Purchase items for a reception.

When we host our senior commissioning, it isn’t just about bringing our students on stage and praying for them. That’s a big piece of what we do, but we also want to have a reception time to celebrate and honor the graduates. When you host a reception, you are highlighting the relational component of your ministry and valuing the personhood of each of your graduates. So think about what your reception could and should look like.

Our reception happens during our 10:30 a.m. service time, so we have light refreshments like mini bagels and small pastries. We also provide coffee and orange juice. At our church, most of our rooms are multipurpose which means they tend to have standard items that don’t necessarily feel inviting unless you’re intentional with the space. So we love to incorporate tablecloths, centerpieces, balloons, music, and even a fun backdrop for photos. The little touches make the reception feel more special and make our graduates feel seen and loved.

So think about what items you could purchase to make the reception a little more inviting and special. You don’t need to blow your budget to make an event special. It’s often little things like a flavored coffee creamer, a photo booth, tablecloths, balloons, or even just a welcoming space that truly make this a special moment for graduates and their families.

Have intentional time for families.

One thing I hear often from parents and students alike is how busy everyone is. I mean think about: when was the last time every one of your students showed up to youth group on time? Students are incredibly busy and running from one event to the next. The same is true for families, so much so that they often don’t get time to simply be together and pour into one another. One of the best parts of our senior commissioning is creating space for families to simply be together.

We carve out 20 minutes from our reception to give parents and families time to speak into their graduate and to encourage them. We don’t just spring this on them at the reception; we email out all the details ahead of time and even give them some prompts on what this time could entail. These are moments that the families can utilize however they want and we always get great feedback from them that this is one of their favorite parts.

Challenge and prayer.

We make sure to conclude the commissioning with a challenge and prayer time for our graduates. We want to challenge and encourage them to continue in their faith journey and to help them know that we are for them. We also take time to encourage and challenge parents. This is a time of change for parents and it is important to help them see these changes but also to show them ways to engage with the changes and still shepherd their graduate. This is not intended to take up a lot of time during the reception but instead is meant to provide guidance and encouragement in a short amount of time.

Connect grads with a college ministry.

I will be fully transparent with you and tell you that I struggled with this for many years. Not because I didn’t believe in it, but we just couldn’t seem to get the transition from high school to college ministry to work. This past year we have finally been able to see this transition start to work.

We begin by connecting our seniors with our college ministry leaders at the beginning of the school year. We also utilize our college leaders’ house as a Home Group location for our seniors once a month. Then our college leaders continue to connect with and invite the seniors to college student gatherings that are highly relational throughout the year. At our senior commissioning we invite our college leaders onstage with other church leaders and families to pray over our graduates, and then give our college ministry ample time to share during the reception. This has already started to reap rewards as many of our graduates are already attending our college ministry.

The Passage Ceremony: Celebrating Students’ Milestones

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Students have a lot of big milestones in their lives. There’s graduation from pre-k, kindergarten, and junior high. There’s turning 16. Becoming an Eagle Scout. Getting their license. Going to prom. Turning 18. Graduation from high school. And many more celebratory moments.

The sad truth is many of these milestones aren’t celebrated or honored for a variety of reasons. People are busy, so family and friends can’t always make it. There are conflicting schedules and events; people don’t always want to go to ceremonies because of the time commitment. And because there are so many moments in students’ lives, it is easy to assume you can skip one and simply show up at another.

The truth is these moments in students’ lives are pivotal and quite important in how they mentally develop and grow, the shaping of their identity, and their understanding of the Gospel. If these milestones are so important, let me pose a question: when was the last time your church celebrated these moments in the lives of your students? I don’t ask this question to shame or make us feel bad, but instead to push us to do some self-reflection. If I’m being honest, until moving to our current church, I never really considered these moments and didn’t do anything to celebrate them other than going to graduation parties.

But is that the best and only option? Or is there something more that we can be doing? The more I’ve thought about the ways we honor, celebrate, commission, and challenge our students, the more I want to share with you something that we have refined and honed over the past six years in order to do just that: The Passage Ceremony. I know, the name needs work, but let me highlight what this is and how we utilize this ceremony to honor and challenge our students. This isn’t a one size fits all approach, but instead is a resource you can adapt and leverage in your ministry setting and refine to make it beneficial for your context.

The Passage Ceremony.

In the course of middle school and high school ministry there are many key milestones that can and should be celebrated. We have chosen three aspects to focus on: transitioning into 6th grade (or middle school), transitioning into 9th grade, and high school graduation. The reason we chose to focus on these moments is because they are shared among students holistically. Not all students go to prom, not all students do extracurricular activities, not all students get their license at the same time. These three moments typically hit the majority of students and allow for the greatest impact. Therefore, the Passage Ceremony centers around these three “rites of passage.”

Our Passage Ceremony has a few key aspects to it. Here is what they include:

1. Food and community. We make sure to provide a lunch for the families who are coming to the ceremony and we utilize round tables to facilitate conversation and community. We also bring in our volunteer leaders to connect them with our students and families.

2. Explanation of the ceremony. We have someone stand up during the meal time to talk to families about why we are hosting the ceremony, what it is for, and to share our commitment to students and families.

3. Intentional time for parents to speak into the lives of students. We know families are busy and life gets crazy, so we carve out 30 minutes for parents and guardians to speak into the lives of their students. We provide some guidance for what this looks like but have found that parents typically come prepared and actually would desire more time because of how impactful it is.

4. Honoring of students. When families come back from their time of encouragement, we host the formal part of the ceremony. We call up students individually according to their grades and give them a gift. Before we call them up, we explain why we are doing this and the symbolism to our ceremony. It is a time of encouragement, celebration, and intentional discipleship.

We take time in the months leading up to The Passage Ceremony to communicate with families what we are doing and what we are asking of them. At the end of this post, I’ve included that letter for you to utilize if you would like.

How to utilize celebratory moments.

In the letter below, you will see some of the order and flow for this ceremony. Additional things we provide include a light luncheon, facilitating the ceremony, and having a time of celebration and recognition at the end. Here are some key things to highlight in celebratory moments:

1. Make sure to recognize key people. This could include parents, students, volunteer leaders, ministry leaders, and others. Recognizing and pointing to them helps to highlight the focus and who the event is for.

2. Have a good facilitator and communicator. When you are honoring students it is important to have someone who can speak truth and encouragement into their lives with intentionality. You don’t want someone who doesn’t know them or stumbles over what to say because that doesn’t communicate value and worth. But having someone who does communicate well helps your students know they are loved and have a place to call home.

3. Make the environment celebratory. This could be as simple as having food and music, or you could decorate your space with balloons and centerpieces, or you could provide gifts. Whatever you choose make sure to be intentional and seek to create an atmosphere that celebrates your students.

4. Connect them with their leaders. Bringing your leaders into these moments is key because it values them, connects them to their students, and introduces them to parents.

5. Pray over your students. Let them know that they are loved and seen, and that they matter to you and to God. So pray for them and be in their corner.

Letter to Families:

As I have served in student ministries, I have seen a strong desire in parents to lead and guide their children as disciples, but the big question has always been “how?” The Passage Ceremony is one way for us to offer guidance to you and your students by giving you time and space to have needed conversations and by allowing us to support one another in this ongoing discipleship process. Parents, church leadership, and volunteer leaders will be part of this ceremony to signify the student’s desire to live as a disciple of Jesus.

Ceremonies are not a regular part of our culture, but with purpose and direction they can have a powerful impact on the discipleship journey of students. The Passage Ceremony is designed for you, as parents or a significant person in a student’s life, to have the opportunity to personally and privately give spiritual guidance and discipleship to them. The spiritual guidance should focus on:

  1. Affirming your commitment to being faithful parents and supporters of your student(s);
  2. Presenting or reviewing clear and specific guidance and evaluation of your student(s) as they continue to live as disciples of Jesus who are sent to build the kingdom of God.

Our vision for this ceremony is threefold:

  1. To affirm God’s design for parents and supporters as the main disciple-maker of their children;
  2. To affirm our commitment to you as a church and specifically as a student ministry to walk and partner with you in this discipleship process;
  3. To provide a meaningful opportunity for you to partner with the church to mark this significant milestone in their life together and commission them to continue to live as a disciple of Jesus.

Ceremonies typically have a symbol attached to them. We request that you supply a special Bible to use as the symbol of this ceremony. In the past families have purchased a new study Bible or use a special Bible they already have. The NIV Bible is highly suggested since it is the translation we most often use at church. Feel free to supply whatever size or color you would like.

We highly recommend that you use the inside cover to write a special note of vision and blessing to your student. Please drop off your signed Bible to the Receptionist’s Office to allow time for our staff to write in it as well. This Bible will be presented to your student(s) at the ceremony. Should you need any assistance in finding or purchasing a Bible, please contact our team and we will do all we can to assist you.

We will also provide time and space for you as parents to speak encouragement, affirmation, and Biblical truth into the life of your student. I would encourage you to think through this ahead of time so you can share this with them on Sunday. You could share why you are proud of them, what you are looking forward to experiencing with them, your desire to walk with them through this next phase of life, the truth of what you have seen God do in their lives, a life verse that you chose for them and why you chose it, and your prayer for them going forward.

7 Keys to a Successful Fundraiser

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We just wrapped up our fundraiser for this year and it was one of the best ones yet! Not because of the money we raised–we won’t even total that up until later this week–but because of what the fundraiser accomplished and did for our students and our church.

It’s moments like these where I swell with pride as I watch my students serve, give, and live missionally. They were given a challenge and they rose to meet it! Don’t get me wrong, I was exhausted after the fundraiser and I napped hard when I got home, but this fundraiser was a true success for us.

I often ponder why the metrics we use to weigh the success of a fundraiser typically center on finances or on how many people show up. For our group, success isn’t focused on the money raised or the numbers but on how our students are able to serve and love others, and by how the fundraiser helps our church live out our mission. Looking at what occurred at our fundraiser, that’s why I believe we succeeded and will see huge benefits because of what happened.

Today, I want to highlight seven keys to a successful fundraiser and why these are important not just to your ministry but to your church overall.

1. Over-communicate.

This is something we need to do for our leaders, students, families, and our church community. Over-communicate what you’re doing, when you’re training, what roles students will have. The clearer and more concise the directions the better but remember that over-communication isn’t about inundating people’s inboxes with information. It’s about finding a balance: clearly sharing the information that’s needed and in the right methods.

Send emails or letters no more than once a week. Communicate all necessary information at training sessions and give handouts. Make sure you have leader meetings to be clear on what they need to know. When it comes to sharing with the church, think about the different ways you have to share information: mailers, emails, newsletters, bulletins, slides, announcements on stage, yard signs, knocking on doors, or whatever other ways there are to dispurse information. The ability to leverage multiple opportunities will help ensure that your message is heard and received.

2. Set clear expectations.

Working with students has taught me a lot but something I learned very quickly is the importance of clear expectations and rules. I was running a game one time and I thought I had all the rules figured out, when halfway through one of the junior guys let me and the whole group know I was wrong because he googled the answer. Well I very quickly instituted a no phones rule for our games to make sure that didn’t happen again. What I learned is that expectations are highly important and even when we think students aren’t listening, they actually are. Setting clear expectations and guidelines will help not only your fundraiser succeed but your students as well. You are setting them up for success and giving them the parameters in order to do so.

3. Focus on creating community and fostering relationships.

One of the things I love to do with student fundraisers is find ways for them to engage in inter-generational moments with the larger church body. Whether it’s having them serve together, finding ways to engage in conversations, or having older generations pray over students, these are opportunities that will help relationships and community flourish in your church. The more intentional we are at helping to develop relationships and community, the more we will see buy-in to the mission and vision of the church as well as student ministry. When people are able to grow together as a community it fosters unity and a desire to see the Gospel go forth.

4. Tell stories.

This is something I love to do. Most people know that I love to tell stories and incorporate them into teaching opportunities. I think there is an inherent beauty and strength to sharing stories because they bring people in, showcase the needs of others, and highlight the work of God in people’s lives. I think that’s partly why Jesus used stories throughout His ministry.

When we tell stories of lives that have been changed (think about your students’ lives and the lives of those you served) it allows you to show people the power of the Gospel and the necessity of student mission trips. Telling stories also provides a creative way to ask for support. Rather than simply asking people to give, you are painting a picture about why they should give because you’re showing what their giving has accomplished.

5. Utilize training sessions.

Before any fundraiser it is imperative that you take your team through training. These trainings aren’t meant to just be informational, but should also focus on team building and unity. When you can approach training with a desire to see your students succeed and to help them grow in their relationship with Jesus, it helps to shift the focus of the time. Sessions aren’t simply focused on telling students what to do or not to do. Instead, they’re focused on helping your students to mature in their relationship with Jesus as they care about and serve others.

6. Foster discipleship opportunities.

I love watching leaders pour into the lives of students, especially when the relationships are inter-generational. But even more encouraging has been watching our church community love, support, and intentionally invest in the lives of students. I’ve witnessed older adults engage with our students and build ongoing relationships where they continue to pour into their lives and support them even beyond high school. These are moments that are pivotal for students and will help them grow in their relationship with Jesus. Thinking about how you can foster these relationships will help to strengthen your group as a whole.

7. Incorporate prayer.

One of the things we highlight in our fundraising efforts is that the fundraiser isn’t just about financial support. Prayer support is vital to our mission succeeding and because of that we must be intentional in garnering the prayer support necessary for our trips. You can incorporate prayer in other ways as well. Ask students to pray at meetings and training sessions, hand out prayer cards at fundraisers, have leaders or staff or elders pray over your students at fundraisers, or even have your students pray for the church. These moments will help your students not only grow in their faith journey but will also help them to see the power and necessity of prayer in each of our lives.

Why Staff Reviews are Important

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What comes to mind when you hear the words “staff review”? I know I tend to cringe a little and start thinking about my review and if I have met the expectations of my job. I am my own worst critic and tend to hold myself to higher standards than are expected.

But what if you have staff reporting to you? What comes to your mind when you think of conducting staff reviews? Do you have a methodology? Does your staff know how reviews are conducted? How often are they done?

Reviews tend to get a bad rap as many of us have either experienced an unhealthy or unhelpful review and many others have potentially never had a review. And it seems that this is only compounded within church circles. Many friends of mine have said that their reviews are not helpful or have caught them off guard. They haven’t been guided in how to give reviews, or reviews have never happened.

In this post my intent is twofold: to help you understand how reviews are helpful and beneficial for you, and how to conduct reviews for those who report to you. Reviews don’t need to be scary, uneasy, or difficult to conduct. They should be beneficial, encouraging and shaping, and strengthening for all involved.

Be honest.

Whether you are conducting the review or receiving one, honesty is paramount. If you disagree with something that is said, share it. If you’re providing feedback, be clear and transparent. These moments don’t need to be combative or critical, but by providing honest and clear insight and critiques you and your staff will grow and flourish. When we aren’t honest or beat around the bush, it causes a lack of clarity and leads to tensions, frustrations, and unmet expectations.

Have clear expectations.

Expectations are a must for anyone conducting or receiving a review. Clearly articulating what is expected and needed from the person receiving the review allows them to know how to best perform and excel at their job and in its functions. When the person receives those expectations, they know how to grow and mature in their role and they clearly know what their next review will focus on. If you are the one administering the review this allows you to lead well and hold your team accountable for the expectations you have set. This also helps there to be clarity and no unmet expectations for the reviewer or the reviewed.

Set up a timeline for reviews.

When it comes to holding reviews for your team, communicate your rhythm for conducting them. A good metric for new staff is to do a 90-day review, a six-month review, and then an annual one. For staff that has been with you for more than a year, conducting annual reviews is a great way to continually walk with your team. However, you may find it better to host six-month reviews because it allows you and your team to focus on or reset expectations. Whatever your rhythm looks like, let me encourage you to honor it and be consistent. Nothing tells a staff member that they don’t matter like not giving them a review. While they can be intimidating, not getting a review devalues someone and takes away their dignity and worth. So be consistent with offering reviews and keeping to your rhythm.

Communicate clearly.

Whether you are receiving a review or conducting the review, be sure to communicate clearly and concisely. A productive review process should allow both parties to be honest and clear with what they are saying, hearing, and acknowledging. Being clear and concise means that everyone is on the same page with what is being shared. It doesn’t mean everyone agrees but it does mean everyone is heard and their words are valued and received.

Highlight strengths and areas for improvement.

A good review highlights both strengths and growth areas. Everyone always has areas in which to grow, and a good review will not only indicate those areas, it will provide opportunities to take action steps and develop those areas. A good reviewer will also be kindly honest about growth areas rather than trying to sugarcoat them or act like everything is perfect. When you highlight the strengths of the person being reviewed, make sure to celebrate the wins and ways in which they used their strengths well.

Listen well.

One of the best things you can do in a review, regardless of whether you are receiving or administering it, is to listen to what is being said. The key to listening well is not to listen for faults or issues, but to listen for what is truly being said. Engaging in active listening helps you to truly understand what is being said as you look for key things and ask follow-up questions to gain clarity. If you are told you need to show up on time, a good response would be to ask if you had not already been doing so or to clarify what on time means for your supervisor as it may look different.

Another aspect of listening well is that it highlights the value and worth of the other person. It shows intentionality, care, and a desire for authentic community which are all hallmarks to a successful ministry.

Ask questions.

A good review allows for both the reviewer and the person being reviewed to ask questions. A reviewer will ask follow up questions, questions to guide reflection and perspective, and questions to clarify that both parties are on the same page. When someone is being reviewed, they should ask questions to clarify what is being shared and also to find ways to improve based on critiques and guidance.

Be relational and show care.

This is a fine line when it comes to a review because you must balance the professional relationship and the personal relationship. There is a professional responsibility for a supervisor to supervise, but due to working in a church environment, we should also care about the individual at a deeper, more relational level. You shouldn’t sacrifice one for the other, but instead seek to balance them well. This means not just indicating areas of improvement but also helping them to grow and walking with them in it. This approach also allows you to speak truth but in a loving and honest way that highlights how you are for the person. This will also help the person receiving the review to feel the permission to speak honestly and directly with their supervisor in an effort to gain clarity and direction.

Pray for them.

I think prayer is something we should incorporate into our daily rhythms and into the review process. When we pour into our team and are relational, we get to know more about them beyond simple job performance or functionality. We get to know them on a personal level which means we have an opportunity to be for them, and a great way to embrace that is through prayer.

Pray for them during the review process, but don’t make it a holier-than-thou type of prayer. Make it authentic and relational. Don’t focus simply on the job, but ask how you can pray for them now and over the next period of time. Doing this will not only help to strengthen relational rapport, it will allow you to embrace the leadership God has given to you as you truly shepherd those He has placed under your care.

5 Keys to Crafting Intentional Summer Programming

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Summer programming is just around the corner! In fact we will be wrapping up our regular programming in May and switching things up as our students and families change their rhythms and habits. I have served in enough student ministries to experience different rhythms and structures during the summer, but our current ministry context presents some unique opportunities and hurdles.

Living in a tourist community means our town sees an uptick in people but tourists don’t always come on vacation looking for a church or youth program. And while tourists come in to visit the town, the locals head out on vacations to relax and get away from the craziness in town. That means we experience a significant drop in attendance and in the number of volunteers that we have.

For each ministry and ministry leader, summer programming will look different. Some ministries don’t have any changes and run full programming all year long. Others scale back their programming and focus on intentional meet ups and trips. And still others have no programming. Regardless of where you are and how you run your ministry during the summer, intentional programming can help you create buy-in and cultivate a consistent vision that everyone knows and can be onboard with.

1. Understand your community rhythms.

When you know the rhythms and habits of your community, it allows you to think critically about the type of programming you will host. Some student ministry programs will continue running normally because students and leaders will be present. Others may need to think more creatively about what do as much of their community goes on vacation. But as you know and understand these rhythms, you will be able to offer options that best suit your people and meet their needs.

2. Know your volunteer strength.

Volunteers are the key to success for our ministry based on our program model. Regardless of the size of your ministry, you are probably in the same place. Even having two volunteers in a small ministry can make a huge impact for the students you’re ministering to. You may also need a certain ratio of leaders to students or may be required to have a certain number of leaders present due to working with minors.

With that being said, knowing your volunteer strength during the summer allows you to plan events and gatherings accordingly. If you don’t have your normal number of leaders, you will need to think practically and creatively about when to host gatherings and what they will look like. Another thing to consider is whether your volunteers are able to serve year round. Your volunteers–while they may never say this due to their love of the ministry–may need a break periodically. So consider their health and well-being as that is key to their effectiveness and to truly having the full strength of your volunteers.

3. Choose ideas, events, and focuses that highlight your vision.

Whatever your programming looks like this summer, let me encourage you to be intentional in highlighting your vision. Even if your programming looks different than during the school year, you can still make sure that whatever you’re doing is intentionally focused on growing and pouring into your students. The more intentional you are with highlighting your vision, the more buy-in you will generate with leaders, students, and parents.

4. Focus on relationships, community, and outreach.

Summertime presents us with a unique opportunity to reach and engage with our community, especially with those who may not have attended our church or ministry during the school year. Since school and extracurriculars associated with it have ended, students may be more inclined to attend your ministry and the events that you host. Because you may reach people who haven’t come before, I want to encourage you to make the most of these moments by focusing on relationship-building and fostering new interactions as you share about Jesus.

It is important to curate venues and opportunities that allow and encourage your students to invite their friends and interact with new people. Then, as new students are coming, be intentional with what you share and focus on clearly explaining the Gospel. These don’t need to be hours-long tent gatherings, but instead could include carving out 10-15 minutes to share about Jesus and then allow for further community and time for people to fellowship and ask questions as needed. Hopefully the summertime affords you a new opportunity to reach people you haven’t been reaching.

5. Plan ahead and communicate.

This is a big deal for me, probably because I am a planner at heart and love to know what is happening and when so I can prepare for everything. For families and leaders, having a plan for summer and communicating it will allow them to plan their schedules accordingly. It is also important to clearly communicate your plan and expectations to your leaders for the summertime. Doing this will help you know your volunteers’ level of commitment and ability to serve which will allow you to best plan your summer schedule.

In planning and communicating your programming, you should start first with your leaders to make sure you can actually do what you’re envisioning and that you will have enough leaders. Then you should communicate the plan to parents and students through multiple venues (online, emails, newsletters, in print, in person, etc.) and multiple times. I would also encourage you to have your plan ready and communicated at least a month before your summer programming starts. Many people are building their summer schedules earlier in the year and so the sooner you have a plan, the more likely families are to incorporate it into their summer schedules.