Tag: parents

Quick Tip: Trip Communication for Parents

Posted on by Leave a comment

We just wrapped up our first out of two summer trips for our student ministry. It was a great time with our students but it also contained multiple calls and communications with families due to the intense heat we were experiencing during camp and the subsequent heat-related illnesses.

That got me thinking about how we communicate with parents before and during trips in order to provide the most effective and clear communication when needed. Here are five tips to help you do this well and keep parents up to date on what is happening.

1. Before the trip, provide information about how to get in contact with you and/or your team. One of the best things you can do is host a parent meeting, send emails, and have a print out of contact info for parents on departure day. These intentional steps will help parents know how to contact you and your team and also get all the pertinent information that they need.

2. Prior to departing, make sure to indicate how and where updates and communication will happen. Letting families know how you will post updates and where they can find them is important as it will help alleviate confusion or questions. Whether it’s via a texting group, social media, emails, or whatever works for your group, make sure that it is clear how and where you will share updates and communications.

3. Provide timely updates and prayer requests. One of the things I’ve learned over the years is that families love to see photos and know what is going on while their students are away on trips. The more photos you share the more engagement you will get from parents, but it will also help to amplify any information you are sharing. Therefore, you can utilize the photos to share prayer requests and updates for parents and there is a greater possibility of them seeing and retaining the information you’re sharing.

4. Share arrival and departure information clearly and multiple times. The more you share clear and concise information about timing for your the trips, the more likely it is people will be on time and know what is happening. When sharing information be sure to make it abundantly clear and simplified which will allow for better understanding.

5. Utilize students and leaders to help with communication when appropriate. When you’re traveling with students and leaders you may have more opportunities to get information out to parents and families. The key to leveraging this aspect effectively is clearly stating what needs to be disseminated outward. That means information is clear, constant, and consistent across all mediums. This resource when utilized correctly can be a big win in helping to share information.

Making Graduation Season Special

Posted on by Leave a comment

It’s here! The time of year when we commission our graduates, celebrate their achievements, shed some tears as they move on, and reflect on all the memories we have made together. But with these moments come multiple opportunities to invest in, encourage, and champion them as they move into the next phase of their life journey.

There are commencement ceremonies, parties galore, senior parades, and more. Depending on your context and the structure of your ministry, you may be invited to numerous gatherings and events, and that begs a question: how do you make these moments special? Depending on your context you may be invited to a graduation ceremony with multiple students but perhaps you don’t have a budget to get them all a gift. Or maybe you’re invited by a specific family to a graduation, so do you bring them a gift…but what about the other students you know who are graduating?

In order to make the most of this special season, I want to offer a few suggestions for you to consider that will allow you to bless all of your students in a meaningful and personal way. These will specifically be cost-sensitive and will focus on ideas and engagements that will have intentional impact.

Be intentionally relational.

This may sound like a no-brainer, but sometimes it can be hard to engage with people relationally. Maybe it’s a student who just never had anything nice to say. Perhaps it’s a parent who spread rumors about you or one you never met. Or maybe you’re just feeling wiped out from talking to everyone and what’s the big deal with not talking to that family, that parent, or that student?

These moments are opportunities for you to continue to show that your students matter and that you are in their corner. Yes, it may take more time and energy, and yes, you may need to humble yourself in these moments. But I can promise you that if you engage relationally during this season you will see wonderful results as your students continue to grow.

Bring a personalized card.

We have quite a few students graduate each year and it honestly would cost a lot of money if we got each of them a gift, even a small one. So our ministry does gifts for each graduate at our senior commissioning, but Elise and I write out a personal card for each of them that we decorate and make unique. Sharing some memories, writing a personal encouragement, sharing a specific prayer, or even just letting them know how you’ve seen them grow makes the letter intentional and personal instead of a standard card. When you can do something as personal as a handwritten card it shows your students how much they mean to you and how you have seen them grow during their time in your ministry.

Show up when invited.

Our church is a regional church which means we have four or more public high schools, three Christian schools, and cyber learning or homeschooled students represented in our program. Most of our area schools only give out a certain amount of graduation tickets to students, so we don’t always get to attend commencement ceremonies. But when we do, we show up and try to connect with all of our students and families who are present. The same goes for graduation parties. Sometimes we get invited and sometimes we don’t. But when we get the invitation we do our best to attend and connect with our student and their family. These are intentional moments and they communicate love and care for your students.

Don’t be rushed.

I don’t know about you but sometimes I can feel a little pressed for time. There are moments when rushing is appropriate, but in moments when you are connecting with and celebrating your graduates, you need to slow down and be present. That means don’t relegate yourself to only a short time frame. Instead keep your schedule open so you can spend the appropriate amount of time at each special moment.

Continue to be present.

Some of our students experience a fear of the unknown and a fear of leaving behind something they love. In releasing and commissioning our students, one of the things we can continue to do is be present for them. Let them know that you will still be around and that they can still reach out to you. There will be changes, like they are no longer in youth group, but let them know that your love and commitment to them will not change. Continue to follow up with them, grab coffee or visit with them, host a Bible study for graduates, connect them with your college ministry, and utilize other ways to connect during the summer months. These moments help students know that they still matter and that you, and your church, are for them.

Resource Review: The Pour Over

Posted on by Leave a comment

Have you ever lived or worked in an area that seemed polarized in their viewpoints and the news they intake? Have you ever felt that you were surrounded by partisan viewpoints? Are echo chambers something you have begun to notice are a part of your life or the lives of those you minister to?

As someone who was once very partisan and also a news junky for many years, I found it easy to fall prey to one-sided dialogue and talking points. Over the past ten years I have noticed my views start to grow and shift as I began to engage deeper with Scripture and its practicality in our daily lives.

I was listening to a podcast a couple of years ago, and they shared about a podcast and newsletter called The Pour Over and how this podcast offered up a centrist view of the news with a focus on Christ. I am not going to lie, my first thought was excitement but I was also skeptical because I had yet to find an unbiased view of the news.

I turned on the podcast and was blown away by what I heard. The podcast and newsletter (which are one in the same; one is audio and the other print) tracked the bigger news stories of the past couple of days and summarized them while then offering a Christian perspective. The Christian perspective can involve Scripture, quotes from pastors or theologians (past and present), or even quotes from the Book of Common Prayer. Each of the summaries has links to the full story and the links come from a litany of verifiable news sites from across the political spectrum.

The newsletter and podcast are also short in that they have never exceeded ten minutes, and often fall under seven minutes in podcast length. That means you can easily listen to it on your way to work, at the gym, or even in the morning while making your coffee.

Another aspect of The Pour Over is they have an affinity for dry humor and quick whit. Whether you listen to or read the newsletter, you will find that there is a little bit of humor thrown in to make you chuckle. It is typically done in word play for a news story and it is not done to demean or diminish anyone or anything.

Each of the people who report for the newsletter on the podcast do so in steady (not monotonous) tone because they aren’t seeking to promote a specific viewpoint or utilize emotions to stir the pot. As they seek to provide a politically-neutral approach to the news, they have people report on it who are easy to listen to but not seeking to inflame a certain viewpoint or perspective.

Recently, within the last year, The Pour Over has launched another resource specifically for families with younger children called Decaf: The Pour Over for Families. This is a once-a-week newsletter that highlights a specific news story from the week and provides parents with insightful questions to ask their children called “Read, Reflect, Respond.” This is a great resource for families to engage with their children and thoughtfully talk through topics and circumstances with a Christian approach that may be difficult to interact with. But beyond just young families, these are questions that are helpful for anyone to engage with as they look to thoughtfully engage with a Christ-centered approach to the news of our day.

This resource has helped me in being able to pull myself away from being a news junkie and instead find a way to biblically engage in a politically-neutral approach to the news. I’ve been able to remove an echo chamber and instead begin approaching the news with a better, Christ-centered response. I have referred this podcast to parents, friends, students, and leaders because it truly helps us to have a Christ-focused view of our world and helps to shape our hearts, minds, and souls to be more attune to God’s response to this world. This is an amazing resource that I cannot recommend enough and I would challenge you to check out The Pour Over and see what you think.

How to Host a Respite Day

Posted on by Leave a comment

One of the best parts of my job is working with our special needs ministry. I have the amazing privilege of overseeing a wonderful team of volunteers who love and guide our students in that ministry. Aside from being a ministry I believe every church should have (that’s another conversation for a later post), this is a ministry that truly brings me so much joy.

I started with the special needs ministry when the person overseeing it moved on to a different ministry organization. I’ll be honest and say that I was woefully ill-prepared and had no idea what I was doing. I had never been trained or taught about this while in school, and this is the first church that I have been to that actually has a special needs ministry.

So I went into my first meeting with the team and just asked questions and sought to learn. I dove into books, contacted churches who have special needs ministries, and sought to grow in my ability to walk with and disciple these amazing young people. Through all of that, I got to know my team and our students better and truly began to understand and have a heart for this ministry just like my leaders. And it was through one of my leaders that we began to host our Respite Days again.

Respite days were something our church hosted before COVID and before I started on staff, and honestly, I was a little nervous about hosting them. My mind ran toward all the liabilities, the different needs students had, the guidelines we needed, the number of volunteers, and so much more. If I am being honest though, it was fear that kept me from being willing to host these days in the beginning. Fear of the unknown and what-ifs. Fear of failing. Fear of letting down our students and families who already are marginalized and isolated.

But after some loving and continued prodding from my team, we hosted a respite day in January of this past year and it was a huge success! So much so that we are now hosting one in the summer, fall, and spring of each year. What I’d love to share with you today are a few key ways you can host your own respite day and how you can help ensure it is a success.

Have a sign up process.

The sign up process shouldn’t just be about gathering names, addresses, or other contact info, but about getting to know the students and their families. You should have options for understanding the students and their disabilities and how you can best care for them. You should also look to understand what their triggers are and how they interact with others. Doing this allows you to better serve, love, and care for the students. I’d also encourage you to have a place where you can ask the families if they have any prayer requests or needs, so you can assess whether your church can step in to help and walk with them.

Build a team.

One of the best things to have in place to make this a successful event is a quality team. Having people who understand students with special needs and how to love and care fore them is essential. But it’s also important to bring in people who simply love others well and care enough to learn and walk with them.

Utilize students.

Students with special needs often feel ostracized and alienated by their peers. And more often than not, students with special needs know that they are different and left out. So bringing in students to love and share in life with your group is a wonderful way to encourage them and help to build community. Seek out students who are good hosts and willing to spend time with others, and simply let them do that. Allow them to simply come and build relationships with their peers and to love on your special needs students.

Provide food.

Food is a natural way to lower walls and build community. Having snacks and a meal (if time allows) is a great way to make your environment welcoming and warm. But make sure that you know if certain foods or additives aren’t okay for your students. This is something that your intake form should have as a required question.

If parents don’t want their students having sugar, think about having fruit instead of fruit snacks. If they can’t have food dyes, look for more natural snacks. We have provided Goldfish crackers, pretzels, grapes, and Skinny Pop as snack items and we have had pizza and Chick-fil-A for meals. Whatever you choose, be intentional in what you pick to help make your atmosphere and the entire day feel special and celebratory.

Have a variety of activities.

In order for a respite day to be a success, it is highly important to have a lot of different activities to engage your special needs students. These could be Foosball, ping pong, four square, board games, puzzles, coloring and crafts, playing outside on a playground, drawing with chalk, watching a movie, or playing games on a Wii. We also provide fidget toys for our students who need them and we place them throughout the area we are using so they are ever-present.

We don’t necessarily structure our day with rigid timelines of what we want to do at specific times. Instead we have all the activities up and going to allow our students to engage organically with one another. We do make sure our leaders are present at each activity but we also allow students to choose their own adventure by picking what activity they would like to do.

Bless the families.

One thing I came to realize by serving with our special needs team is this: having a special needs child is extremely taxing and isolating. Most of these families feel alone and forgotten. And worst still, they don’t see churches as safe places for them or their kids. I’ve had multiple parents tell me they have been forced to leave a church as they were told their child wasn’t wanted because they are a disruption. These families are hurting and in need.

So if you’re able to, consider having gifts or gift bags for the students and for their families. For families, we write a card for them and include a gift card to a local restaurant along with information about our church and special needs ministry. For the students, we give new students The Biggest Story Bible by Kevin DeYoung, but everyone gets a gift bag with glow sticks, snacks, some fidget toys, stickers, colored pencils, a journal, sunglasses, and a special note to them from our special needs ministry team.

Utilize invitations.

When you are preparing to host a respite day make sure that you have invitations that you can use to invite people. Disperse them to your church community but also ask the families who have special needs students to invite their friends. Special needs families have their own communities and know one another well, so asking them to share the invitations will ensure that they invite their friends which will provide opportunities for unchurched people to step into your church.

Be hospitable.

Welcoming families as they arrive is key. There may be families who show up who have never been to your facility before, so having someone greet them is paramount to them feeling loved and accepted. Make sure your leaders have name tags and introduce themselves as they interact with the families to encourage them and to help them be put at ease as they leave their student with you.

Hospitality shouldn’t exist only when people arrive but also as students are picked up. Making sure you have a greeter and someone to walk parents and guardians back to their students is highly important and shows them that you value the safety and well-being of their child as well as caring for the parent.

Hosting a Meaningful Senior Commissioning

Posted on by Leave a comment

It’s that time of year when we see all the graduation pictures, receive grad party announcements, and maybe even get invited to a graduation ceremony or two. We’ve written before about honoring seniors and helping to spiritually prepare them for college. In today’s post I want to focus in on one way to do that and offer some ways to do it well with a senior commissioning. I know for some ministries this time may have passed, but it doesn’t mean you can’t do something during the summer, or think about next year and how to impart new or different ideas into your current context and culture.

Let me first explain what I mean when I say senior commissioning. I grew up in churches that would recognize and celebrate seniors on a “senior Sunday,” and I must admit that this was my practice when I started working in student ministry. It usually comprises parading students onstage and, depending on the number, sharing their next steps. Then there’s usually a short word from the youth pastor followed by a brief prayer and applause from the congregation. There’s nothing wrong with this approach, but as I stepped back and assessed what we were doing and why we were doing it, I realized that there are more intentional, relational, and spiritual approaches we could take.

Out of that thought, and many refining steps along the way, we developed our senior commissioning. This is a multi-step approach to not only honoring seniors but also commissioning, encouraging, and preparing them for their next steps as they move beyond high school and student ministry. So let me explain the details for how this looks and how we strive to make this an intentional approach in our disciple-making process.

Communicate.

Months before we actually host our commissioning we reach out to our seniors and their families and let them know what will be happening. We also ask them to fill out a form that has specific information that we will utilize in a booklet for families and show on our screens during our commissioning in the church services. We ask for a senior photo, their favorite memories from their time in student ministries, what trips they went on with our program, what their plans are after graduation, and how can we pray for them. These pieces are all utilized to create a brochure that we give out to our congregants and families to highlight our students. We also continue to communicate with the seniors and families about what we are doing as we get closer to our commissioning ceremony.

Create gift bags.

We do a lot of gift bags throughout the year. We do leader gift bags for when they go on trips with us. There are gift bags for families when we host respite days. Gifts bags for our large training at the beginning of the school year. Gift bags at Christmas. And I’ll be honest, sometimes when you do a lot of gift bags, they begin to look the same. There may be subtle differences but they all have the same feel.

The reason I bring that up is because we want these bags to be thoughtful, intentional, relational, and student-specific. That means we have special name tags and personalized cards instead of a generic gift bag with a general card. We also add in cards signed by our whole staff team and a personalized letter signed by our student team and senior pastor letting them know we are for them and this is their church that loves them. We put in some candy because you know…student ministry. We put in celebratory items like glow sticks and confetti poppers. We get them either book about following Jesus in college or a devotional. Sometimes we throw in a gift card to a local dessert shop.

Purchase items for a reception.

When we host our senior commissioning, it isn’t just about bringing our students on stage and praying for them. That’s a big piece of what we do, but we also want to have a reception time to celebrate and honor the graduates. When you host a reception, you are highlighting the relational component of your ministry and valuing the personhood of each of your graduates. So think about what your reception could and should look like.

Our reception happens during our 10:30 a.m. service time, so we have light refreshments like mini bagels and small pastries. We also provide coffee and orange juice. At our church, most of our rooms are multipurpose which means they tend to have standard items that don’t necessarily feel inviting unless you’re intentional with the space. So we love to incorporate tablecloths, centerpieces, balloons, music, and even a fun backdrop for photos. The little touches make the reception feel more special and make our graduates feel seen and loved.

So think about what items you could purchase to make the reception a little more inviting and special. You don’t need to blow your budget to make an event special. It’s often little things like a flavored coffee creamer, a photo booth, tablecloths, balloons, or even just a welcoming space that truly make this a special moment for graduates and their families.

Have intentional time for families.

One thing I hear often from parents and students alike is how busy everyone is. I mean think about: when was the last time every one of your students showed up to youth group on time? Students are incredibly busy and running from one event to the next. The same is true for families, so much so that they often don’t get time to simply be together and pour into one another. One of the best parts of our senior commissioning is creating space for families to simply be together.

We carve out 20 minutes from our reception to give parents and families time to speak into their graduate and to encourage them. We don’t just spring this on them at the reception; we email out all the details ahead of time and even give them some prompts on what this time could entail. These are moments that the families can utilize however they want and we always get great feedback from them that this is one of their favorite parts.

Challenge and prayer.

We make sure to conclude the commissioning with a challenge and prayer time for our graduates. We want to challenge and encourage them to continue in their faith journey and to help them know that we are for them. We also take time to encourage and challenge parents. This is a time of change for parents and it is important to help them see these changes but also to show them ways to engage with the changes and still shepherd their graduate. This is not intended to take up a lot of time during the reception but instead is meant to provide guidance and encouragement in a short amount of time.

Connect grads with a college ministry.

I will be fully transparent with you and tell you that I struggled with this for many years. Not because I didn’t believe in it, but we just couldn’t seem to get the transition from high school to college ministry to work. This past year we have finally been able to see this transition start to work.

We begin by connecting our seniors with our college ministry leaders at the beginning of the school year. We also utilize our college leaders’ house as a Home Group location for our seniors once a month. Then our college leaders continue to connect with and invite the seniors to college student gatherings that are highly relational throughout the year. At our senior commissioning we invite our college leaders onstage with other church leaders and families to pray over our graduates, and then give our college ministry ample time to share during the reception. This has already started to reap rewards as many of our graduates are already attending our college ministry.

Book Review: She Deserves Better

Posted on by Leave a comment

I’m back and reviewing another highly-recommended book by the team that brought us The Great Sex Rescue. As a regular listener to Sheila Wray Gregoire’s Bare Marriage podcast, and a survivor of growing up in purity culture, I was so excited to hear about–and get my hands on–her team’s new book, She Deserves Better: Raising Girls to Resist Toxic Teachings on Sex, Self & Speaking Up (written by Sheila, Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach, and Joanna Sawatsky). And once I did, I was not disappointed.

Since this blog is dedicated to youth ministry and those serving within that context, let me start by saying up front, you need to read this book regardless of your gender, role within the church, or parental status. Yes, it is written in a format for mothers to read and discuss with their daughters. However, if you work with young people in any context, you need to take time to read, think through, and reckon with the topics discussed in She Deserves Better. Unfortunately, certain harmful messages and teachings have been accepted as Bible fact, and been propagated through the church for decades, and it’s time for that to end.

In She Deserves Better, the authors deal with topics surrounding girls’ faith, well-being and self esteem, emotional health, respect and boundaries, dating and identifying of toxic relationship traits, sex education and consent, and existing as a person who is allowed to take up space. Within each chapter they unpack harmful teachings from a biblical, evidenced-based perspective with scientific facts, personal stories, and examples from their surveys of thousands of women. And they particularly focus on church-based contexts, which most often involve youth group experiences.

Undoubtedly, there will be parts of this book that make some readers uncomfortable. If you’ve been drinking purity culture Kool-Aid all your life, some of these conversations may make you cringe, or make you feel like purity culture and its teachings are being attacked. But here’s the thing, if we begin to uncover things that are proven to be systemically harmful to others, we have a responsibility to do something about it. That may include painful introspection as we think about the messages we’ve preached. It may include dealing with how we have treated or silenced others along the way. And for some, it may include unlearning teachings that have been ingrained in us since birth.

Some of us could easily sit back and say, “purity culture didn’t directly harm me,” or “I thought this was biblical,” or worse yet, claim we didn’t know better and therefore are excused. But these things are no longer an excuse to continue down a destructive road or turn a blind eye to it. We should know better, we do know better, and now it’s time to do better, both for the next generation, but also the countless women who need help deconstructing layers of shame, assault, and toxic teachings. She Deserves Better starts us down the road to do just that. 

If you are a parent, I encourage you to invest in this book and use it to have conversations with your children (girls and boys, because heaven knows we need to raise up men who know how to treat women). If you are a pastor, youth pastor, or lay leader, please invest in this book, not just to share with parents, though that is strongly encouraged, but also to help educate yourself. If you are leading parents and students in any capacity, these topics will come up. The best thing you can do is educate yourself so that you can handle them correctly and well.

If you aren’t a parent or a “youth person,” but you came out of purity culture scarred and broken, I would also encourage you to give the gift of this book to yourself. Let yourself unpack the baggage, begin to heal the wounds, reteach your younger self, and move forward with freedom in Christ. Many of the issues unpacked in She Deserves Better boil down to mistreatment of women within church culture. And if that has been your experience, I am so deeply sorry and I carry that pain with you. You didn’t deserve it, and you don’t deserve it now. As the book states, you deserve better.

May we have the courage to collectively work to build a better world for girls and women, with the church leading the way. This book is just one step on that journey, but it is a big step, and I invite you to take it with us.

The Passage Ceremony: Celebrating Students’ Milestones

Posted on by Leave a comment

Students have a lot of big milestones in their lives. There’s graduation from pre-k, kindergarten, and junior high. There’s turning 16. Becoming an Eagle Scout. Getting their license. Going to prom. Turning 18. Graduation from high school. And many more celebratory moments.

The sad truth is many of these milestones aren’t celebrated or honored for a variety of reasons. People are busy, so family and friends can’t always make it. There are conflicting schedules and events; people don’t always want to go to ceremonies because of the time commitment. And because there are so many moments in students’ lives, it is easy to assume you can skip one and simply show up at another.

The truth is these moments in students’ lives are pivotal and quite important in how they mentally develop and grow, the shaping of their identity, and their understanding of the Gospel. If these milestones are so important, let me pose a question: when was the last time your church celebrated these moments in the lives of your students? I don’t ask this question to shame or make us feel bad, but instead to push us to do some self-reflection. If I’m being honest, until moving to our current church, I never really considered these moments and didn’t do anything to celebrate them other than going to graduation parties.

But is that the best and only option? Or is there something more that we can be doing? The more I’ve thought about the ways we honor, celebrate, commission, and challenge our students, the more I want to share with you something that we have refined and honed over the past six years in order to do just that: The Passage Ceremony. I know, the name needs work, but let me highlight what this is and how we utilize this ceremony to honor and challenge our students. This isn’t a one size fits all approach, but instead is a resource you can adapt and leverage in your ministry setting and refine to make it beneficial for your context.

The Passage Ceremony.

In the course of middle school and high school ministry there are many key milestones that can and should be celebrated. We have chosen three aspects to focus on: transitioning into 6th grade (or middle school), transitioning into 9th grade, and high school graduation. The reason we chose to focus on these moments is because they are shared among students holistically. Not all students go to prom, not all students do extracurricular activities, not all students get their license at the same time. These three moments typically hit the majority of students and allow for the greatest impact. Therefore, the Passage Ceremony centers around these three “rites of passage.”

Our Passage Ceremony has a few key aspects to it. Here is what they include:

1. Food and community. We make sure to provide a lunch for the families who are coming to the ceremony and we utilize round tables to facilitate conversation and community. We also bring in our volunteer leaders to connect them with our students and families.

2. Explanation of the ceremony. We have someone stand up during the meal time to talk to families about why we are hosting the ceremony, what it is for, and to share our commitment to students and families.

3. Intentional time for parents to speak into the lives of students. We know families are busy and life gets crazy, so we carve out 30 minutes for parents and guardians to speak into the lives of their students. We provide some guidance for what this looks like but have found that parents typically come prepared and actually would desire more time because of how impactful it is.

4. Honoring of students. When families come back from their time of encouragement, we host the formal part of the ceremony. We call up students individually according to their grades and give them a gift. Before we call them up, we explain why we are doing this and the symbolism to our ceremony. It is a time of encouragement, celebration, and intentional discipleship.

We take time in the months leading up to The Passage Ceremony to communicate with families what we are doing and what we are asking of them. At the end of this post, I’ve included that letter for you to utilize if you would like.

How to utilize celebratory moments.

In the letter below, you will see some of the order and flow for this ceremony. Additional things we provide include a light luncheon, facilitating the ceremony, and having a time of celebration and recognition at the end. Here are some key things to highlight in celebratory moments:

1. Make sure to recognize key people. This could include parents, students, volunteer leaders, ministry leaders, and others. Recognizing and pointing to them helps to highlight the focus and who the event is for.

2. Have a good facilitator and communicator. When you are honoring students it is important to have someone who can speak truth and encouragement into their lives with intentionality. You don’t want someone who doesn’t know them or stumbles over what to say because that doesn’t communicate value and worth. But having someone who does communicate well helps your students know they are loved and have a place to call home.

3. Make the environment celebratory. This could be as simple as having food and music, or you could decorate your space with balloons and centerpieces, or you could provide gifts. Whatever you choose make sure to be intentional and seek to create an atmosphere that celebrates your students.

4. Connect them with their leaders. Bringing your leaders into these moments is key because it values them, connects them to their students, and introduces them to parents.

5. Pray over your students. Let them know that they are loved and seen, and that they matter to you and to God. So pray for them and be in their corner.

Letter to Families:

As I have served in student ministries, I have seen a strong desire in parents to lead and guide their children as disciples, but the big question has always been “how?” The Passage Ceremony is one way for us to offer guidance to you and your students by giving you time and space to have needed conversations and by allowing us to support one another in this ongoing discipleship process. Parents, church leadership, and volunteer leaders will be part of this ceremony to signify the student’s desire to live as a disciple of Jesus.

Ceremonies are not a regular part of our culture, but with purpose and direction they can have a powerful impact on the discipleship journey of students. The Passage Ceremony is designed for you, as parents or a significant person in a student’s life, to have the opportunity to personally and privately give spiritual guidance and discipleship to them. The spiritual guidance should focus on:

  1. Affirming your commitment to being faithful parents and supporters of your student(s);
  2. Presenting or reviewing clear and specific guidance and evaluation of your student(s) as they continue to live as disciples of Jesus who are sent to build the kingdom of God.

Our vision for this ceremony is threefold:

  1. To affirm God’s design for parents and supporters as the main disciple-maker of their children;
  2. To affirm our commitment to you as a church and specifically as a student ministry to walk and partner with you in this discipleship process;
  3. To provide a meaningful opportunity for you to partner with the church to mark this significant milestone in their life together and commission them to continue to live as a disciple of Jesus.

Ceremonies typically have a symbol attached to them. We request that you supply a special Bible to use as the symbol of this ceremony. In the past families have purchased a new study Bible or use a special Bible they already have. The NIV Bible is highly suggested since it is the translation we most often use at church. Feel free to supply whatever size or color you would like.

We highly recommend that you use the inside cover to write a special note of vision and blessing to your student. Please drop off your signed Bible to the Receptionist’s Office to allow time for our staff to write in it as well. This Bible will be presented to your student(s) at the ceremony. Should you need any assistance in finding or purchasing a Bible, please contact our team and we will do all we can to assist you.

We will also provide time and space for you as parents to speak encouragement, affirmation, and Biblical truth into the life of your student. I would encourage you to think through this ahead of time so you can share this with them on Sunday. You could share why you are proud of them, what you are looking forward to experiencing with them, your desire to walk with them through this next phase of life, the truth of what you have seen God do in their lives, a life verse that you chose for them and why you chose it, and your prayer for them going forward.

Communication with Parents: 5 Things to Think About

Posted on by Leave a comment

When it comes to communication with parents, every ministry has their own way of doing it. Some utilize social media, others use email providers. Some ministries may print out yearly calendars. And still others may manage their own websites or incorporate texting services.

Regardless of the means of communication, we must realize the importance of it. Communication with parents is paramount to helping our ministry succeed and in helping parents in disciple their students. Communication isn’t just about getting information out; it is also about helping to equip, empower, and shepherd parents as they love and guide their students.

In this post, I want to highlight aspects of communication that we should be considering as we seek to disseminate information and help to support and guide the parents of our students. I don’t want to say “this is how you must communicate” because how each ministry does this is unique based upon a litany of circumstances. Instead, I want to help us to think critically about the how and why of communication so as to best utilize the resources at our disposal.

How often should you communicate?

We may think the more information we send the better because it allows everyone to know what is going on. But sending emails, texts, or other communications haphazardly can actually be problematic. Getting more communication can often lead to people being overwhelmed or dismissive because it comes too often. Just think about how you feel when your inbox is inundated with emails. You probably delete many without opening them. That is not the response we want.

Instead of sending more communications, we should think ahead and try to communicate everything in only a few ways in a concise and clear manner. Whatever your rhythm looks like, make sure that you aren’t communicating to just communicate but there is intentionality and clarity.

What medium(s) should you use?

When thinking about communication it is important to discern who you are communicating with as that will help you decide what medium to use. For example, if you’re utilizing social media to communicate with parents, it would be most advantageous to choose a platform the majority of them use. If many are on Facebook, but only some are on Instagram, use the platform that will reach the most parents per post.

It is also important to acknowledge your unique context when sending communications. Are people in your community more apt to read emails or text messages? Would physical mail reach more people than social media? Are paper handouts like calendars better resources than a digital newsletter? Asking these types of questions will help you discern what methods will work best for you community and better allow your information to be received, understood, and acted upon.

How much should be communicated?

This is a very important point to remember: communication is about balance. A wise man once told me, “Nick, you over-communicate. You don’t need to give everyone every little piece of the story. Instead, allow them to be a part of your life and story by giving them the opportunity to ask questions and find out more.” My mentor wasn’t telling me not to communicate, but to take a breath and find a balance between overwhelming people and the place where they’re engaged and want to be a part of what I share.

The same is true for our communications to parents. While we may desire to communicate every little detail, the point of the communication may get lost. So be mindful about how much you actually communicate and work toward clear, concise, and helpful information.

What should be communicated?

In short, communication isn’t just about information. Yes, getting out concise and clear information to parents is important but your communication should be more than that. Think of how you relate to and take in information. Do you remember more things when it’s simply informative or when there are stories connected to the information? Do you engage more with emails that simply give you details or ones that are more relational? There’s a reason Jesus uses stories more often than not in His ministry. Stories connect, teach, and guide us because we are designed to connect relationally.

Take time in your communications to share stories of what is happening. Instead of simply posting photos from your trip, share stories about what happened and what you saw Jesus do in the lives of your students. Rather than just share dates of events throughout the year, share how your vision and mission impact what you do and how you’ve seen God use it. Not only are you sharing stories but you’re communicating the heart and passion of your ministry and showcasing the work and power of Jesus.

When should you communicate?

Establishing a rhythm of communication is important and beneficial in making sure what is communicated is received. It helps parents know when to expect to receive something so they will be watching for it. For some ministries monthly communication is best, but for others it may need to be more frequent. It is important to find what works best for you and your community, because if you start over-communicating, information will get lost.

Find a rhythm that works for your ministry and seek to implement it. Our rhythm is a monthly newsletter coupled with a social media rhythm that stays fairly consistent. Our social media seeks to be more interactive with some information, but our emails focus solely on communication and stories. That doesn’t mean you can’t break the rhythm or pattern for certain moments like retreat updates or special events, but the more consistent you are with your rhythm, the more parents will focus on what is shared.

The Week Before a Trip

Posted on by Leave a comment

When this post goes live we are t-minus five days until we depart for our winter retreat. Every year we take our students to a camp in our area for a winter weekend filled with solid teaching, worship, small groups and discipleship, lots of fun, community, and hopefully a little bit of snow.

But let’s be honest: the week or two before a trip can usually be pretty stressful and busy. There’s all the trip details, making sure everyone is paid up, communication, packing for yourself, making sure your students bring what they need, regular work commitments, and all the other pieces that we know will pop up at the least opportune time. So the question is, “How do we manage and prepare well during those weeks?”

On today’s post I want to share a few tips for how to not only prepare well but manage your time and details to succeed during the prep week and your time leading up to camp.

Have someone else handle speaking.

The week of and perhaps the week before a trip, I would highly recommend having someone else speak at your gatherings. For most of us, the primary amount of our hours are focused on preparing messages for our students, and by recruiting someone else to speak you are giving yourself flexibility and opportunity to focus your time in other places. Whether it’s a youth leader, another staff member, a student, or a guest speaker, having someone else speak frees you up to focus on the trip. It gives you all the time you’d focus on study, prep, and speaking to now focus on making sure everything is handled before you depart for your trip.

Try to keep your schedule as open as possible.

The week before I go on a trip I try to not schedule any meetings or additional work items if at all possible. I will always have various meetings I have to attend, but I try to not add more to my plate. The more we add to our schedules, the more we will feel overwhelmed and behind. So try to keep your schedule open and make the most of the time you have to prepare for the trip and handle what needs to be done.

Over-communicate to families.

No matter what, you will always have people who miss or don’t pay attention to communications you send out. But trying to get ahead of those moments and doing all you can to clearly and concisely communicate will help immensely. I try to schedule and send all of my communications at least a week before parents would ask for them. For example, if I know parents will want a packing list two weeks before we leave, I try to send it three weeks and again two weeks before we go. That way there is a greater chance for them to not only see it but also to have a reminder sent in case they forget.

Have a planning meeting with leaders.

If you have ever served as a volunteer in student ministries, you probably know what it feels like to not have all your questions answered or what it feels like to be unsure about what to expect. The more we can help to prepare our leaders and give them the information they need, the better prepared they will be to lead and disciple your students. So find time before you go to help prepare your leaders mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Remember that these meetings don’t need to be very long and should also be about spiritually preparing and not just information dissemination. So spend time praying together for one another, the trip, and your students.

Create a personal packing list and a ministry packing list.

We have recently written about what to pack for trips as a leader. This is a really helpful resource for both ministry leaders and their team of volunteers. It may be helpful to have a concisely written packing list for your leaders at your planning meeting. On top of your ministry packing list, also think through what you will need personally. For me I always make sure to have different types of cold medicines and throat drops, braces for my ankles that tend to roll, spare clothes, some protein bars, and some extra games and snacks for my cabin. Think through what you’d like to bring and make sure you have your list ready for when you need to pack.

Schedule time off before and after the trip.

This is something I have been making sure that I do more often. Depending on what needs to be done, I try to take an extra day off the week before a trip to spend with Elise and mentally and spiritually prepare myself for the trip. After I get back I try to take a day off to catch my breath, decompress, and heal (for me that means going to the chiropractor and getting extra rest). These aren’t just meant to be comp days but days to decompress and refresh so I am able to minister and care for my people without leading out of emptiness or depletion.

Make a list of what needs to be done and when.

I love making lists and crossing things off as I complete them. And when it comes to trips, I make lists of what needs to be done leading up to our departure. Typically I make two lists for trips. The first one is focused on the big things that need to be done from the very beginning of scheduling the trip. This includes announcing the trip, payment deadlines and reminders, parent and family communications, departure information, and packing lists. The second list is one that is focused on the week or two before the trip. This has to do with leader meetings, social media reminders, final communications to families, texting groups for leaders, sign in procedures, packing for myself and the ministry, and anything else that needs to be accomplished.

What does the week before a trip look like for you? How do you prepare for your trips?

Packing for Trips: Students

Posted on by 1 Comment

Last week we talked about how to pick a location for student retreats and trips. But have you struggled with what you should tell students to pack for these trips? Have you received a frantic text or email the day of departure from a student or parent asking what they should bring?

As we continue the conversation, this week I want to share some ideas for helping students pack appropriately for trips. Next week I’ll share some insight as to what youth leaders should be packing for trips. Over my time in student ministry, I have come to realize a simplified packing list is much better to share than an overly detailed one. It ensures that students pack the essentials and helps them seek clarity when they have questions.

Before you even start to think about what students need to pack, you should be thinking about how you will communicate it to them. There are three main avenues of communication that typically can work with students: verbal communication, physical mediums, and electronic mediums.

Verbal communication.

Many ministries still utilize verbal announcements during their services and programs. These moments are critical for communicating important information in small, sound byte-style clips that peak your students’ interest. Two important things to remember with these moments is there needs to be simplicity, and direction toward a medium they can use for follow up (i.e. social media, emails, handouts, etc.).

Physical mediums.

One of the best ways to get things into the hands of students is to do just that. Get them physical sign ups, postcard reminders, or flyers. This will give them something to physically take, but the reality is these items don’t always make it home or to their parents. So be thoughtful about how much time and effort you put into these mediums as the reward may be minimal.

Electronic mediums.

Over the last decade, the importance of electronic communication has become undeniable. Students have phones and other devices in their hands constantly, and the more you can leverage these mediums the better your results. Use social media platforms, create QR Codes that can be scanned during gatherings, send emails, utilize story features on social media, and send out group texts with information. When it comes to creating online content, you may find yourself in the same predicament I often find myself: I’m not creative in this area. That’s where Canva comes in handy. It has graphics, images, and pre-made designs you can edit and utilize to best reach your audience. So lean into Canva or another design app to not simply list information but make it visually appealing as well.

So what should students actually take on trips? If you use a venue that supplies a leader packet, you may find a packing list there, but you may need to edit it to match your program’s guidelines. When I think about what students should pack, I think in categories: clothing, accessories, toiletries, camp-specific gear, and what not to bring.

Each of these are extremely focused and allow our team to highlight the essentials needed, and what is not allowed at camp. The camp-specific category helps highlight relevant items like winter gear, bathing suits, work clothes, or whatever else is needed. The accessories category allows you to remind students about things like bedding and pillows, a notebook, money, bug spray, and medicine. The “what not to bring” category lets you focus on things that aren’t allowed at the camp and what you ask students to leave at home. We always highlight leaving electronics at home, and things like energy drinks and illegal substances.

Whatever your trip looks like, remember to communicate clearly, consistently, and frequently through multiple mediums in concise ways. When you focus on those aspects you are setting yourself and your students up for success on your trips. Below is a graphic that we built in Canva for our student ministry’s last winter camp. This can serve as a springboard for your creativity, or we are happy to share how we created this to help you further. Feel free to reach out if you need help with creating your own graphic.