Tag: leading

Quick Tip: Appreciating Others

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So October is Pastor Appreciation Month. Did you know that? Or did you forget like me? That may be one of the reasons this post is dropping in late October and not earlier.

Now you may have read that and thought to yourself, “Nick, this post seems a little self-serving since you’re a pastor and you’re talking about appreciating people in the month of October.” I hear you on that, but please understand that isn’t the heart of this post. In fact, the point of this Quick Tip is to help us think about appreciating people we work with–our bosses, and our volunteers.

When we appreciate one another well, we are showing people that they are loved, valued, and seen. In ministry circles this is vitally important because there is so much that is given beyond the contexts and demands of a non-ministry job. You don’t really stop working. The calls, texts, and emails are always coming through. People show up at your home unannounced. The weight of what people are dealing with weighs on your shoulders and your family’s as well. The burnout rate for pastors and church staff is astronomically high. And let’s not forget that church staff often aren’t paid well and volunteers aren’t paid at all.

Phew. That’s a lot and we haven’t even hit all the pieces and realities of ministry yet. But when we feel that weight, think about the other people in your life who also feel that. Your volunteers, your staff, your supervisors, your wife, your kids. We may not always get appreciated, but we can appreciate others. Rather than say, “Nobody did anything for me in October,” what if we were the catalyst for change and it started by appreciating others first?

Today, I want to share some ways you can appreciate others and love them well all year long as we seek to care well for each other. Some are practical ways to do this and others are simply suggestions on what to think through.

Think about what you’d appreciate and use that as a metric for caring well.

Sometimes it feels like we just don’t know what to do or what to get for someone else. If you’ve ever struggled around Christmas or birthdays trying to get a gift or card for someone, you know exactly what I’m talking about. In those moments, pause and consider what would make you feel loved, valued, and appreciated.

It doesn’t have to be super specific, but if quality time is what you enjoy, consider taking the individual out for a cup of coffee and listen well. If you enjoy a good book, maybe get one for them (don’t be passive aggressive in choosing the book). If it’s something handmade, think about what you could make them. Using this as a metric will help you practically think through what you can do to appreciate others.

Don’t forget the families.

The reality of working in ministry is that it is often difficult. There are hard times that can wear on ministry leaders. But often, the unseen tragedy is how deeply this affects their families. Spouses carry that weight as they walk with their significant other and try to help them. Children often lose out on time with their parent(s) because the church pulls their parent away.

Ministry leaders can come home exhausted and quality time with their family takes a hit. Families often are all-in at churches and serve in a variety of ways, and never hear “thank you.” In moments like these, it is important to remember them and care well for them. Don’t forget the families. Love them and help them to know they are seen.

Utilize a handwritten note or card.

Sometimes finances are tight, we are in ministry after all. And we may think, “I have nothing to give. What can I do?” The power of a thoughtful handwritten card is undeniable. Think about the last time you got a letter in the mail. How did you feel? It’s exciting, it’s encouraging, it’s life-giving. Taking the time to write a note and encourage someone is extremely powerful and special.

Instead of a gift card, take them out and engage with them.

If you’re financially able, a great way to appreciate someone is not just giving them a gift card but taking them out for a meal or cup of coffee. This shows intentionality and a desire to know that individual. In those moments, we need to remember that the priority is listening to and engaging with the other person. Don’t dominate the conversation and listen well. Take this as a time to grow in your knowledge and relationship with that individual as you care well for them.

Give a personalized gift.

Are you the next contestant on Holiday Baking Championship? Are you crafty and good at creating things? Still got your sourdough starter going? Are you a gifted writer or artist? Sometimes the best gift is one you personalize because you put time and effort into making it for someone. I love to bake and make candles, and I see the joy and happiness those things bring when I share them with others. So think about your skills and hobbies, and ask yourself how you can turn those things into gifts to bless others.

Quick Tip: Know Your Leaders

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A while back I was challenged by a post a friend had written. The gist of the post was a reminder not to forget about people around you. Now let me stop there and have you consider something: do you see all your leaders? Do you include them all?

Now I know my knee-jerk reaction to those questions is “yes,” but if I’m honest with you I didn’t always, and I sometimes still miss things. Let me give you an example. Ask yourself this question: do all your leaders drink coffee? If not, should you invite them to meet up “for a cup of coffee?” If not, do you provide alternatives for them when coffee is present (i.e., at meetings, training, leader lounge, etc.)?

Again I hear you on this one. It seems like such a small thing, but truly what is at the heart of this matter is knowing your leaders. When you know them, they feel known and seen and loved. The key is not just seeing them as volunteers but getting to know who they are and doing life with them.

Start by getting to know them. Hang out with them. Grab dinner, a beer, coffee or tea. Take a group outing together. Host a leader game night. Sit with them at church. These moments help you truly know them and foster meaningful relationships.

Create a leader questionnaire. I know this may seem a little clinical, but if you have a larger volunteer team this could be a great way to find out helpful information. Ask questions like:

  • What’s your favorite candy bar?
  • If I got a gift to this restaurant, I’d be really excited:
  • My favorite cold weather drink is…
  • When some does (fill in the blank) I feel seen and loved.
  • What food allergies do you have?
  • How can we pray for you?

Make sure to regularly check in with your leaders. Whether it’s a text, meeting up once a month, grabbing a bite out, or writing them a note, letting your volunteers know you care by checking in helps them to know that they are loved and cared for through an intentional and thoughtful moment.

Another key piece of knowing your leaders is knowing their food allergies. I have a few leaders and an intern who are highly allergic to nuts. A simple way of showing we know our leaders is we don’t put out anything with nuts at training, and if we do gift bags with candy in them we get them special items that don’t have nuts. But it isn’t just people with nut allergies we should be thinking about. There are people who can’t have gluten or dairy, people with allergies to shellfish (but on what youth ministry budget), people who can’t have soy. If you find out this information, you’re going to help people who often feel dismissed or forgotten feel loved and seen.

Lastly, regularly ask them how they are doing and how you can pray for them. Sounds simple right? But this is a huge part of you knowing and caring for your leaders. When you can ask them how work has been, how their family is doing (bonus if you know the names of their family members), what they have been doing to breathe and pause, how their relationship with Jesus is, and how you can pray for them, your leaders are going to feel so appreciated and known. But don’t just ask the question, make sure to actually follow up as well. Don’t let this just be a check mark on the board, but be intentional and make sure that you engage further.

How to Make Leader Training Fun

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Let’s be honest for a moment: we have all been to a training session that has been boring. It could’ve been an information dump, a boring speaker, stuff we knew, or the environment was not conducive to training, which made us fall asleep. I’m not saying I have done that, but I’m also not saying I haven’t.

The reality is, we all have experienced a training that has made us want to fall asleep or has bored us to tears. Now let me ask you a question: what would people say about your training sessions? Are they boring or are they fun? Do people enjoy going to them or do they treat them like the plague? Have people fallen asleep during your trainings or are they engaged?

We must seek to make our training sessions fun and beneficial. The more fun elements you include the more people will engage and buy-in to the training because they are enjoying themselves. So what are some quick and easy ways to make training fun?

Theme the training.

A theme is something that I’ve only recently started to incorporate. A couple of years ago one of our church staff members asked me what type of theme our training had. To be honest, I was a little embarrassed to admit I’d never thought of that. But after listening to this staff member, I began to understand why a theme is important. It shows that your team is valued and needed, it makes people feel seen, it makes the training more inviting and engaging, and it brings fun into the mix.

You don’t need to go all out, but you could if you wanted to. The theme could be as easy as searching Pinterest for ideas and doing what you’re able to do in light of your available resources. Consider searching for “teacher gifts” and using that as a launching point. This year we took the theme of “You’re crushing it” and added a note to Crush sodas for each leader. We continued the theme by getting clementines and jelly fruit slices to put out on the tables. The theme was also carried into our PowerPoint and notes we handed out.

Provide food.

Food is a must. You don’t need to provide a full meal if you aren’t able to, but even having snacks or treats on the tables elevates the training and valuing of your people. We always try to center our trainings around a meal because it lowers walls and fosters conversations, and it shows our people that we care about them. This could be as simple as pizza from a local shop, a home cooked meal, or small bags of chips and candy on the tables.

Play games.

I don’t know about your leaders but mine tend to be hyper-competitive, even more so than our students sometimes. We know they love to laugh and have fun, so whenever we can, we try to incorporate a game for them to play. Sometimes it’s a PowerPoint game, other times it’s a game like charades, or even a team-building game. Whatever it is, I would encourage you to play along, laugh with them, and have some sort of prize for the winner. This makes it more engaging and highlights that fun is a value of your ministry.

Utilize conversation and collaboration.

Training sessions where the speaker drones on and on get a little bit monotonous. Okay, a lot. So when you break up the speaking and engage with your team and invite them into the conversation, you’re opening up collaboration which values and affirms them. Think about breaking people into groups and asking the groups to share with the large group after they have finished. Allow for feedback on topics from your team. Open up the floor for Q&A. These types of moments are critical to not only making your training successful but for valuing your people and helping them to know that they are a part of the team.

Bring in new skills.

Doing the same training over and over again can get, well, boring. I get it, there are some things we have to train on all the time (i.e. safety measures, protecting students from abuse, background checks, transportation, etc.), but we also should bring in new aspects to leading well that can help our leaders continue to grow and flourish.

Think about spiritual gift assessments, personality training, studying the Bible, training on cultural trends and narratives, navigating difficult relationships, dealing with misbehaving students, handling a crisis, soul care, and leading well. All of these are simply starting points but the more we seek to equip and train our leaders with new skills, the better suited they will be to love, lead, and care for their students.

Don’t always be the trainer.

This is a big piece of training. You don’t always have to be the trainer! Bringing in new voices will not only help people hear things in a new and exciting way, but you are also bringing in people with different skill sets and expertise that you may not have. This could be another staff member, a community member, a counselor, a volunteer, a leader in the community, or whomever else would be beneficial to help your leaders grow. My only caution is that you make sure they know your vision and mission and that what they share aligns with your values.

Quick Tip: Admitting When You Mess Up

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Alright, I’ll admit it. This last week I made a huge goof. Earlier in the summer we let all of our leaders know when our fall training would be and many of them were excited because we had reserved an amazing offsite venue. It is perfect and it meets all of our needs.

But here’s the problem: I gave my team of volunteers the wrong date. I actually told them it was a week later than when we had reserved the location. When I realized my mistake (which was way too late) I hastily fired off a text saying I sent the wrong date and here’s the correct one. But I did so with less than a week’s notice. This ended up frustrating many of our volunteers, it meant multiple leaders couldn’t attend because they specifically reserved the previous date on their calendars, and it caused a lot of tension and questions.

Long story short, we ended up working with the venue and we were able to keep our original training dates but not without me causing a lot of unnecessary tension and frustration. I messed up, and I know that in the big scheme of things it wasn’t that big of an issue, but I still messed up and it caused people to have frustration and tension. So I knew I had to apologize. I had made a mistake, multiple ones in fact, and I needed to own that.

And you know what happened? My leaders understood. They laughed about it. They poked fun at me in loving ways. They showed up to training. They still love our ministry and students. They are still serving.

Here’s the thing though: when it comes to mistakes, we as leaders need to live out what Jesus commands us to do and that is to seek forgiveness when we mess up. Yes, even we as leaders mess up, we aren’t immune to that. When we mess up we must take ownership and lead out of humility and a willingness to admit our wrongs. A good leader is one who will admit when they mess up and seeks to right the wrong.

Now please hear me in this: I am speaking in broad terms. We must always lead from a posture of humility and seek forgiveness when we mess up. But there are also times when we need to submit to authority over us because of our wrong and regardless of what we have done, face the consequences.

We are still broken people who are trying to lead as God has called us, but we aren’t immune from making mistakes, both small and large. Look to model Christ’s approach to leadership and you will find that when it comes to admitting wrong and seeking forgiveness, while it may not be easy, you’ll be more comfortable and willing to do so.

All that to say, the greatest two words you can ever utilize in ministry are, “I’m sorry.” Don’t be afraid or unwilling to use them.

5 Ways to Support Your Church’s Student Ministry

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While this blog is primarily geared toward those already leading in student ministry, today we want to share a post for those who aren’t currently serving. Maybe you’re considering how you can serve in your church, or maybe you’re not sure where to begin. We want to encourage you to think about creative ways you can care for younger generations, particularly the middle and high school students in your church body.

1. Commit to praying daily.

Prayer may seem “too simple,” but talk to any youth leader and they’ll share just how important it is for their ministry. To know that others in the church body are praying regularly for their students and ministry is so meaningful.

You can pray generally and specifically for the ministry and those involved. An easy way to pray specifically is to ask for prayer requests from youth leaders, and for names of students and leaders for whom you can pray. Commit to praying leading up to and during trips and events. If there is a student ministry email your church sends out, ask if you can subscribe and use the content to help guide your prayers.

This will also help you learn more about your church’s student ministry and the people involved in it. It will also help you learn about the needs of the ministry and might help you find specific ways you can serve.

2. Volunteer if you’re able.

Churches have different requirements and needs for who can serve, and different areas in student ministry where volunteers are needed. There is always the obvious need for small group leaders, but there are other opportunities as well. Talk to whomever leads your church’s student ministry to find out what needs exist and where you might be able to step in.

You may be able to help with set-up and/or tear down as many student events are held in multipurpose spaces. You may be able to host a small group or event at your home, or provide a meal for leaders and/or students. If your church’s student ministry serves snacks or food, you can volunteer to help with serving and clean up. Or if you’re a musician or sound tech and your church has worship for the students, you can volunteer to serve on their worship team.

3. Give what you can.

Perhaps you can’t commit to regularly serving the student ministry in person, or perhaps you want to do more. There are multiple ways people can give to student ministry, beyond just monetary gifts and tithes. Again, speaking with the leader of the student ministry will help uncover specific needs, but a few ideas include donating snacks and drinks, Bibles, pens or other writing utensils, journals, fidgets, or games.

Other youth programs may need furniture or decor to help make their space more inviting and homey. Some may love to have shirts with their logo to give out to students to create a sense of camaraderie and community. Still others may be longing for equipment, like 9 Square or speakers. Look for the unique needs of your church’s student ministry and the ways you may be able to meet them. And again, please check with leadership first before purchasing or dropping things off.

4. Invite others.

As you learn of the needs of your church’s student ministry, invite others within the church body to join in serving. Not only will leadership appreciate the support, students will appreciate the care they receive from invested adults who genuinely love them.

Don’t forget to invite students to the ministry as well. If you meet a new family in your community, don’t be afraid to share about the ministry and invite them to check it out. Connect them with leadership or students who are involved so they can make connections before visiting.

5. Learn.

One of the best ways older generations can help students is by learning about them and their generation. It can be too easy to ignore or write off younger people, which is not what church body life should be about. We are a family and that includes knowing and caring for each other. We should seek to learn so that we can understand and serve younger generations well.

Take time to listen, to read, and to educate yourself on the issues students are dealing with, both specifically and generally. You may not be able to talk to students in your church (though if you can, that is the best place to start), but you can learn from professionals and those working with young people, like the student leaders in your church. Seek to foster understanding and empathy, so that you may care more deeply and love more fully, and allow that to spill over into the ways you pray, serve, and give.

Quick Tip: Trip Communication for Parents

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We just wrapped up our first out of two summer trips for our student ministry. It was a great time with our students but it also contained multiple calls and communications with families due to the intense heat we were experiencing during camp and the subsequent heat-related illnesses.

That got me thinking about how we communicate with parents before and during trips in order to provide the most effective and clear communication when needed. Here are five tips to help you do this well and keep parents up to date on what is happening.

1. Before the trip, provide information about how to get in contact with you and/or your team. One of the best things you can do is host a parent meeting, send emails, and have a print out of contact info for parents on departure day. These intentional steps will help parents know how to contact you and your team and also get all the pertinent information that they need.

2. Prior to departing, make sure to indicate how and where updates and communication will happen. Letting families know how you will post updates and where they can find them is important as it will help alleviate confusion or questions. Whether it’s via a texting group, social media, emails, or whatever works for your group, make sure that it is clear how and where you will share updates and communications.

3. Provide timely updates and prayer requests. One of the things I’ve learned over the years is that families love to see photos and know what is going on while their students are away on trips. The more photos you share the more engagement you will get from parents, but it will also help to amplify any information you are sharing. Therefore, you can utilize the photos to share prayer requests and updates for parents and there is a greater possibility of them seeing and retaining the information you’re sharing.

4. Share arrival and departure information clearly and multiple times. The more you share clear and concise information about timing for your the trips, the more likely it is people will be on time and know what is happening. When sharing information be sure to make it abundantly clear and simplified which will allow for better understanding.

5. Utilize students and leaders to help with communication when appropriate. When you’re traveling with students and leaders you may have more opportunities to get information out to parents and families. The key to leveraging this aspect effectively is clearly stating what needs to be disseminated outward. That means information is clear, constant, and consistent across all mediums. This resource when utilized correctly can be a big win in helping to share information.

5 Tips for Conducting a Review

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How do you feel about reviews? You may have read the title to this post and thought, “I’ve never had a review before!” Or perhaps your thoughts were more along the lines of, “Reviews suck, and I am always blindsided by them.” Or maybe you thought, “I’ve never given a review before and it’s never been modeled for me.”

Reviews, well, they get mixed reviews (pun intended). Some people love them and others hate them. For some it fills them with dread and for others they long to finally have one. The reality is that reviews in and of themselves are neutral. It’s what we do with them that allow them to be positive or negative, both in how they are executed and in how they are received.

Today’s post is all about helping you think through how to give a productive review to your team member(s). And even if you don’t have a paid staff, you can use these insights to help you proactively walk with, encourage, shape, and disciple your volunteers and even your student leaders.

1. Reviews should never be a surprise nor should the content.

I don’t know how your reviews have gone but I’ve sat in several where something is shared that completely caught me off guard. Sometimes it was positive and sometimes it was negative. But when those moments happen it can often feel surprising, isolating, debilitating, and even make us doubt our calling and career.

Whatever you share should be things, goals, challenges, and feedback of which your teammate is already aware. Reviews aren’t an opportunity to dump some new critique or rebuke but instead an opportunity to facilitate growth, empower your people, highlight achievements, and help them develop their skills and ministry.

2. Review the year and set goals.

Another aspect of giving a review is doing exactly what it says: reviewing the past year or set time frame. When you take time to look back and review the year you can focus in on victories and celebratory moments, and you can highlight areas where growth is needed. It also allows you to think and dream about what the next year will hold, which gives you the structure for setting and implementing goals. Goals are a great way to provide focus, intentionality, and mission to the review and to help your teammate grow and excel in their position.

3. Allow the review to be relational.

I have sat in too many reviews that have felt clinical. It’s felt one sided and as if the reviewer didn’t even know me as an individual or ministry partner. That isn’t how a review should be. Yes, there are aspects of you being the supervisor and the person being reviewed an employee, but that shouldn’t remove the intentional relational component.

You should be a shepherd in your entire role and that includes when you review people. You should still seek to love and care for them, to understand and hear them, and to be for them. When you approach the review from a relational perspective you have helped both sides to flourish.

4. Communicate care and growth.

Part of giving a review is being honest: honest in what they have done well and honest in helping them to see growth areas. This isn’t always easy and it can feel kind of crappy at times, but if you truly care about your teammate you want to help them flourish and grow. So even as you identify growth areas, do it from a position of love and care. Don’t be accusatory or aggressive, instead highlight what you have seen, how you care for them, and a path to flourishing.

5. Pray for them.

This is a big piece that I’ve been incorporating into my reviews over recent years. When a review is relational and personal, seek to care for your teammate in a holistic way. Ask how they are doing, what has gone well for them over the past year in ministry and personally, ask what has been difficult, seek to understand how you can shepherd them better, and then ask how you can pray for them. Inviting them into the process and showing that you love and care about them makes this review much more relational and allows you to truly care for your people.

What to Look For In a Teammate

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You just get told you can hire an additional person to your team! Once the excitement wears off, you now realize you need to find the right person for the position. But what makes someone the right person? Is it their relational ability, their skill at teaching, their energy level, their youth, the ability to connect with students?

I get it. I’ve had the ability to hire people at various times in my career, but what are the qualities, skills, and personalities that we should be looking for? What are the non-negotiables? How do we do our best to hire the right person? Today, I want to share some ideas to hopefully help you hire the best teammate for your ministry.

Find someone with a heart for students.

One of the things I always look for is someone who has a heart and passion for reaching and engaging with students. You cannot teach heart or passion, and it’s important to highlight that this is more than just a job or paycheck. Be willing to ask questions that focus on the reasons for serving with students when looking for a teammate. Questions like, why do you want to work with students, what excites you about with working with students, why do you care about students, and why is student ministry important? These will help you to discern the heart of the person you are interviewing.

Find someone who compliments your skills and vision.

When you are hiring a teammate you want to have someone who is not only onboard with the ministry but who brings their own skills and abilities to the table. Their skill set, while it can be similar to yours–like being a qualified teacher or someone who connects well with students–should be different because having someone who brings new and unique skills can be of immense benefit.

I’m not good at building graphics or even trying to be creative in that way, but my teammate is. She knows how to utilize resources like Canva in creative ways to reach students and thinks through how to make our training sessions not just educational but also invitational and warm. A teammate who compliments you will make you a better team leader and minister, and it will also help your ministry to flourish as it will allow you to reach a greater swath of students.

Don’t let stereotypical skill sets keep you from hiring.

You can teach skills but you can’t teach heart or passion, which we unpacked above. I am not saying that you should hire someone with no understanding of what they are doing, but instead to be flexible on certain aspects of the job. You may have someone who checks all the boxes but isn’t good at running games. That is something you can teach. Perhaps the person you want to hire isn’t good at using PowerPoint or ProPresenter, that’s something you can train them in. Don’t be afraid to think outside the stereotypical “youth person” box.

Look for someone who will challenge you.

Notice what I didn’t say there; I didn’t say look for someone who will be a challenge for you. I’m not asserting that you hire a difficult person, but instead encouraging you to find someone who will help you grow and mature as a leader. You shouldn’t be looking for a yes-man, but instead for someone who brings new and exciting ideas to the table and helps you to grow as a leader and minister.

Find someone who is a team player and willing to contribute.

Having a teammate who can work well on a team and who has a good work ethic will help your ministry to grow and develop. When they want to serve and don’t simply see their position as a job, your ministry and team will be the better for it. Part of this also means that they have the freedom and permission to bring new ideas and programmatic features to the ministry without having to fear that everything they offer will be shut down. This allows for growth and development holistically across the board in your department and ministry.

Look for someone who is willing to grow and go further than expected.

You’re not hiring a warm body or a babysitter; you’re hiring a co-minister to your students and as such that person should be willing to grow and take initiative. Finding someone who isn’t complacent and is willing to go the extra mile will help your ministry flourish because they will intentionally look to benefit everyone involved. When you have someone who wants to grow, you’re not only helping the ministry to flourish, you can help your teammate to develop as well. You are valuing them and helping to set them up for success.

Why Have Mission Trip Training?

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I remember going on my first mission trip in high school. I was a junior and we went to Mexico to serve in one of the cities there. I knew some of the group I went with and had a little bit of an idea of what we would be doing. I knew we would be performing some dramas portrayed to music because we were separated into groups and told to find time to practice and prepare.

We were given a music video and told to try and replicate that for our trip. We got together and practiced, and we ended up being pretty good (minus my lack of musical skill and being able to keep time). We had a couple of team meetings where we’d talk about knowing some Spanish and were given a brief overview of what to expect. Other than that we were told to have our passports ready and were given a tiny packing list. I had no idea what we were walking into, I didn’t really know what to expect or what we’d be doing, and I wasn’t prepared for the culture shock.

In other churches where I’ve served, mission training and prep work were not in-depth nor did they actually prepare us for what we would do. It was very basic and broad, and probably not overly helpful for our teams. Now, I have completely tried to shift how this is done with our students in order to better prepare them, help them grow and mature, and to set them up for success on the trip. I am not saying that what we do for our training is perfect or a one-size-fits-all approach, but I do believe what we offer is helpful and beneficial for everyone who goes on the trip. Below are the aspects we incorporate to make training important, necessary, meaningful, and developmental.

Team building.

Thoughtful and practical team building is a must for your group because it helps them prepare for the changes that will happen and the flexibility that is of vital importance on a mission trip. This can look different depending on your team and can include different games (Minefield, 4 Person Skis, Relay Races, Obstacle Courses, etc.) with thoughtful engagement and questions after it’s done. It could involve practicing building things or using different tools, it may involve different assessments, or it could even be assigning the group a task and removing aspects that we take for granted (i.e. speaking, seeing, lighting, directions, etc.).

In order for these to be successful you must make sure to debrief, engage, and help students process. Students will get frustrated by these exercises, but helping them to understand why they did and how these moments will develop in trips is key because then they can begin to thoughtfully engage better on the trip.

Self-awareness training.

This often goes hand-in-hand with team building because effective team building should have thoughtful reflections and questions afterward to help your team think deeper about how they engage with one another. But that shouldn’t be the only self-awareness training you do. Consider bringing in a spiritual gifts assessment, a small personality assessment like DISC, having students do an assessment like Strength Finders, or even having students think through what will be difficult for them on the trip. Create space for them to share those things in a smaller group and think creatively about how to respond.

Relationship training.

Now hold on for a moment because I know how some of you read that. I am not thinking about couples or “purpling.” What I am talking about is helping our teams understand how to have authentic, interpersonal relationships with one another in the midst of a mission trip.

Prayerfully, you are taking a group of students and leaders who are all very different people. That means their stressors will be different, how they respond to certain tasks or leaders will differ, and how they engage when overtired, stressed, hungry, or frustrated may cause them to butt heads with other members of your group. Training your team on how to understand those moments will come, how to work to prevent them, how to respond during them, and how to love one another well before, during, and after them is of vital importance.

Understanding where you are going.

Currently, we have been taking teams of high school students to rural Kentucky in the Appalachian Mountains. It’s an amazing community that we have the privilege of helping recover from devastating flooding that occurred in 2022. While we are only 8-9 hours away from there, it is a completely different setting. Culturally it’s different, their vocabulary is different, how they do things is different, and even what they eat is different (remind me to share what soup beans are sometime).

In order to help your team prepare, it may good for you to do a site trip or a vision trip so you can bring back firsthand knowledge to share with them. Regardless of whether you can go to the site first or not, you should work to help your team to understand the setting and culture you are entering into. Set expectations, help them know what to say and not say, talk about what they will see and hear, walk through how to engage with the community, and help them prepare their hearts.

Providing updates.

Mission trip training sessions allow you to provide your team with all the updates they need. Whether it’s updates on the trips, updates on support raising, or updates on packing lists, training allows you to communicate what needs to be shared and help your team be as prepared as possible. Updates help your team to know what they need to know in order to be successful and capable in their service to others.

Engage in thoughtful conversations.

One of the parts our training includes is thinking differently about poverty, how we see people, and how we can help. We want our students to not judge people or fall prey to the typical societal responses toward those individuals who are living in poverty. In order to accomplish this well we incorporate videos from Helping Without Hurting from Life.Church. There are six videos in total and crafting questions for before and after the video will help your team think critically about how and why they are serving.

Mission trip training is vitally important to helping your team gel together, serve well, and be equipped for what they will be doing. Trip training doesn’t guarantee success but it does provide your team with the resources and training that they need in order to thrive on their trip as they seek to serve others.

5 Relationships Every Youth Worker Needs

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This week I was doing some reflecting and thinking about this question: what relationships do I have now that I wish younger Nick had, or had stepped into sooner? As I have been serving in ministry and getting to know myself better, I’ve realized that there are relationships I would have greatly benefited from if I had sought them out sooner.

Today, I want to share these relationships with you, and also to indicate that these relationships are not the only ones you need. They are simply some that I know would have benefited me sooner and hopefully will be a benefit to you as well.

1. A best friend.

I’m someone who typically has many acquaintances but only later in my adult life did I find the value of having closer friends and best friends. These are individuals that I can go to with anything and know they will hear me, challenge me, correct me, and be for me. These relationships are ones where I can grab a beer and have a casual conversation or sit down for hours to have deep and meaningful discussions. Having these relationships in your life will help you to truly be yourself and to feel loved, valued, and needed.

2. A mentor.

Having a good mentor in your life is a relationship that will hopefully ensure growth, development, and maturity. Ideally this person has more lived experience, and ministry experience, that they can utilize in your relationship. When someone is watching out for you and speaking truth into your life and ministry, it is an amazing opportunity for you to learn and flourish. These are individuals who are for you but also willing to offer correction and guidance as needed. If I had more of this when I first started out in ministry I would have had a lot less missteps and instead had more opportunities to grow and minister well.

3. A counselor.

Everyone should have a counselor regardless of how “okay” we may think we are. Having someone who is safe, trained, and licensed, who you can go to and be honest and raw with, is a necessity. It allows you to release well, process different relationships, emotions, and circumstances, and also provides you with the help you need whether you’re aware of it or not in the moment. These are the people that help you through the difficult moments, who allow you to process, and give you constructive and necessary paths to run on.

4. A peer.

This is a little different than a best friend or mentor, though they can at times be one and the same. But what I’m suggesting is finding a fellow youth worker(s) who you can share life with, talk shop with, and bounce ideas off of. This a great opportunity to share resources and insights, and it also allows for you to have someone in your life who understands what you’re walking through. It’s a friendly voice of a compatriot who is in your corner.

5. A chiropractor.

This one may make you chuckle, but please hear me out. As a young person I didn’t think I needed this relationship, but during 2020 and working at home, my back said otherwise. Getting to know our amazing chiropractor during that time was fantastic and so beneficial. But what I came to realize is that being proactive rather than reactive with your health is hugely important.

Instead of coming back from a retreat and popping a couple of Advils and pressing on, having your chiropractor truly take care of your back, neck, and hips is a necessary relationship. I see my chiropractor once a month and then at least twice a month when trips happen. These visits truly help my body to prepare and repair after busy seasons, trips, stressful work weeks, and just the everyday moments.

What relationship would you tell your younger self is a necessity?