Tag: leading

What to Look For In a Teammate

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You just get told you can hire an additional person to your team! Once the excitement wears off, you now realize you need to find the right person for the position. But what makes someone the right person? Is it their relational ability, their skill at teaching, their energy level, their youth, the ability to connect with students?

I get it. I’ve had the ability to hire people at various times in my career, but what are the qualities, skills, and personalities that we should be looking for? What are the non-negotiables? How do we do our best to hire the right person? Today, I want to share some ideas to hopefully help you hire the best teammate for your ministry.

Find someone with a heart for students.

One of the things I always look for is someone who has a heart and passion for reaching and engaging with students. You cannot teach heart or passion, and it’s important to highlight that this is more than just a job or paycheck. Be willing to ask questions that focus on the reasons for serving with students when looking for a teammate. Questions like, why do you want to work with students, what excites you about with working with students, why do you care about students, and why is student ministry important? These will help you to discern the heart of the person you are interviewing.

Find someone who compliments your skills and vision.

When you are hiring a teammate you want to have someone who is not only onboard with the ministry but who brings their own skills and abilities to the table. Their skill set, while it can be similar to yours–like being a qualified teacher or someone who connects well with students–should be different because having someone who brings new and unique skills can be of immense benefit.

I’m not good at building graphics or even trying to be creative in that way, but my teammate is. She knows how to utilize resources like Canva in creative ways to reach students and thinks through how to make our training sessions not just educational but also invitational and warm. A teammate who compliments you will make you a better team leader and minister, and it will also help your ministry to flourish as it will allow you to reach a greater swath of students.

Don’t let stereotypical skill sets keep you from hiring.

You can teach skills but you can’t teach heart or passion, which we unpacked above. I am not saying that you should hire someone with no understanding of what they are doing, but instead to be flexible on certain aspects of the job. You may have someone who checks all the boxes but isn’t good at running games. That is something you can teach. Perhaps the person you want to hire isn’t good at using PowerPoint or ProPresenter, that’s something you can train them in. Don’t be afraid to think outside the stereotypical “youth person” box.

Look for someone who will challenge you.

Notice what I didn’t say there; I didn’t say look for someone who will be a challenge for you. I’m not asserting that you hire a difficult person, but instead encouraging you to find someone who will help you grow and mature as a leader. You shouldn’t be looking for a yes-man, but instead for someone who brings new and exciting ideas to the table and helps you to grow as a leader and minister.

Find someone who is a team player and willing to contribute.

Having a teammate who can work well on a team and who has a good work ethic will help your ministry to grow and develop. When they want to serve and don’t simply see their position as a job, your ministry and team will be the better for it. Part of this also means that they have the freedom and permission to bring new ideas and programmatic features to the ministry without having to fear that everything they offer will be shut down. This allows for growth and development holistically across the board in your department and ministry.

Look for someone who is willing to grow and go further than expected.

You’re not hiring a warm body or a babysitter; you’re hiring a co-minister to your students and as such that person should be willing to grow and take initiative. Finding someone who isn’t complacent and is willing to go the extra mile will help your ministry flourish because they will intentionally look to benefit everyone involved. When you have someone who wants to grow, you’re not only helping the ministry to flourish, you can help your teammate to develop as well. You are valuing them and helping to set them up for success.

Why Have Mission Trip Training?

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I remember going on my first mission trip in high school. I was a junior and we went to Mexico to serve in one of the cities there. I knew some of the group I went with and had a little bit of an idea of what we would be doing. I knew we would be performing some dramas portrayed to music because we were separated into groups and told to find time to practice and prepare.

We were given a music video and told to try and replicate that for our trip. We got together and practiced, and we ended up being pretty good (minus my lack of musical skill and being able to keep time). We had a couple of team meetings where we’d talk about knowing some Spanish and were given a brief overview of what to expect. Other than that we were told to have our passports ready and were given a tiny packing list. I had no idea what we were walking into, I didn’t really know what to expect or what we’d be doing, and I wasn’t prepared for the culture shock.

In other churches where I’ve served, mission training and prep work were not in-depth nor did they actually prepare us for what we would do. It was very basic and broad, and probably not overly helpful for our teams. Now, I have completely tried to shift how this is done with our students in order to better prepare them, help them grow and mature, and to set them up for success on the trip. I am not saying that what we do for our training is perfect or a one-size-fits-all approach, but I do believe what we offer is helpful and beneficial for everyone who goes on the trip. Below are the aspects we incorporate to make training important, necessary, meaningful, and developmental.

Team building.

Thoughtful and practical team building is a must for your group because it helps them prepare for the changes that will happen and the flexibility that is of vital importance on a mission trip. This can look different depending on your team and can include different games (Minefield, 4 Person Skis, Relay Races, Obstacle Courses, etc.) with thoughtful engagement and questions after it’s done. It could involve practicing building things or using different tools, it may involve different assessments, or it could even be assigning the group a task and removing aspects that we take for granted (i.e. speaking, seeing, lighting, directions, etc.).

In order for these to be successful you must make sure to debrief, engage, and help students process. Students will get frustrated by these exercises, but helping them to understand why they did and how these moments will develop in trips is key because then they can begin to thoughtfully engage better on the trip.

Self-awareness training.

This often goes hand-in-hand with team building because effective team building should have thoughtful reflections and questions afterward to help your team think deeper about how they engage with one another. But that shouldn’t be the only self-awareness training you do. Consider bringing in a spiritual gifts assessment, a small personality assessment like DISC, having students do an assessment like Strength Finders, or even having students think through what will be difficult for them on the trip. Create space for them to share those things in a smaller group and think creatively about how to respond.

Relationship training.

Now hold on for a moment because I know how some of you read that. I am not thinking about couples or “purpling.” What I am talking about is helping our teams understand how to have authentic, interpersonal relationships with one another in the midst of a mission trip.

Prayerfully, you are taking a group of students and leaders who are all very different people. That means their stressors will be different, how they respond to certain tasks or leaders will differ, and how they engage when overtired, stressed, hungry, or frustrated may cause them to butt heads with other members of your group. Training your team on how to understand those moments will come, how to work to prevent them, how to respond during them, and how to love one another well before, during, and after them is of vital importance.

Understanding where you are going.

Currently, we have been taking teams of high school students to rural Kentucky in the Appalachian Mountains. It’s an amazing community that we have the privilege of helping recover from devastating flooding that occurred in 2022. While we are only 8-9 hours away from there, it is a completely different setting. Culturally it’s different, their vocabulary is different, how they do things is different, and even what they eat is different (remind me to share what soup beans are sometime).

In order to help your team prepare, it may good for you to do a site trip or a vision trip so you can bring back firsthand knowledge to share with them. Regardless of whether you can go to the site first or not, you should work to help your team to understand the setting and culture you are entering into. Set expectations, help them know what to say and not say, talk about what they will see and hear, walk through how to engage with the community, and help them prepare their hearts.

Providing updates.

Mission trip training sessions allow you to provide your team with all the updates they need. Whether it’s updates on the trips, updates on support raising, or updates on packing lists, training allows you to communicate what needs to be shared and help your team be as prepared as possible. Updates help your team to know what they need to know in order to be successful and capable in their service to others.

Engage in thoughtful conversations.

One of the parts our training includes is thinking differently about poverty, how we see people, and how we can help. We want our students to not judge people or fall prey to the typical societal responses toward those individuals who are living in poverty. In order to accomplish this well we incorporate videos from Helping Without Hurting from Life.Church. There are six videos in total and crafting questions for before and after the video will help your team think critically about how and why they are serving.

Mission trip training is vitally important to helping your team gel together, serve well, and be equipped for what they will be doing. Trip training doesn’t guarantee success but it does provide your team with the resources and training that they need in order to thrive on their trip as they seek to serve others.

5 Relationships Every Youth Worker Needs

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This week I was doing some reflecting and thinking about this question: what relationships do I have now that I wish younger Nick had, or had stepped into sooner? As I have been serving in ministry and getting to know myself better, I’ve realized that there are relationships I would have greatly benefited from if I had sought them out sooner.

Today, I want to share these relationships with you, and also to indicate that these relationships are not the only ones you need. They are simply some that I know would have benefited me sooner and hopefully will be a benefit to you as well.

1. A best friend.

I’m someone who typically has many acquaintances but only later in my adult life did I find the value of having closer friends and best friends. These are individuals that I can go to with anything and know they will hear me, challenge me, correct me, and be for me. These relationships are ones where I can grab a beer and have a casual conversation or sit down for hours to have deep and meaningful discussions. Having these relationships in your life will help you to truly be yourself and to feel loved, valued, and needed.

2. A mentor.

Having a good mentor in your life is a relationship that will hopefully ensure growth, development, and maturity. Ideally this person has more lived experience, and ministry experience, that they can utilize in your relationship. When someone is watching out for you and speaking truth into your life and ministry, it is an amazing opportunity for you to learn and flourish. These are individuals who are for you but also willing to offer correction and guidance as needed. If I had more of this when I first started out in ministry I would have had a lot less missteps and instead had more opportunities to grow and minister well.

3. A counselor.

Everyone should have a counselor regardless of how “okay” we may think we are. Having someone who is safe, trained, and licensed, who you can go to and be honest and raw with, is a necessity. It allows you to release well, process different relationships, emotions, and circumstances, and also provides you with the help you need whether you’re aware of it or not in the moment. These are the people that help you through the difficult moments, who allow you to process, and give you constructive and necessary paths to run on.

4. A peer.

This is a little different than a best friend or mentor, though they can at times be one and the same. But what I’m suggesting is finding a fellow youth worker(s) who you can share life with, talk shop with, and bounce ideas off of. This a great opportunity to share resources and insights, and it also allows for you to have someone in your life who understands what you’re walking through. It’s a friendly voice of a compatriot who is in your corner.

5. A chiropractor.

This one may make you chuckle, but please hear me out. As a young person I didn’t think I needed this relationship, but during 2020 and working at home, my back said otherwise. Getting to know our amazing chiropractor during that time was fantastic and so beneficial. But what I came to realize is that being proactive rather than reactive with your health is hugely important.

Instead of coming back from a retreat and popping a couple of Advils and pressing on, having your chiropractor truly take care of your back, neck, and hips is a necessary relationship. I see my chiropractor once a month and then at least twice a month when trips happen. These visits truly help my body to prepare and repair after busy seasons, trips, stressful work weeks, and just the everyday moments.

What relationship would you tell your younger self is a necessity?

5 Healthy Ways to Engage with Conflict

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Have you ever found yourself in the midst of an unavoidable conflict? Have you felt the tensions rise, the frustrations grow, and your spirit become overwhelmed?

Perhaps you have had conflict with your supervisors. Maybe you and a certain elder(s) don’t see eye to eye. It could be a volunteer that disagrees with the direction of your program. Maybe there’s tension between you and a couple of parents.

Even suggesting these scenarios may have triggered various emotions, thoughts, and tensions. I get it. I’ve been there. I’ve had all of these scenarios and more play out during my time in ministry, and honestly in all of my career journeys. The truth of the matter is conflict is unavoidable. It exists and it will always find ways to manifest in our lives as a result of the fall.

We have to understand that because we are broken people living in a fallen world, conflict will always find a way into our lives. The question though is not how do we avoid conflict, it’s how do we engage it well? If conflict is going to be a reality we must deal with, what are some steps and applications we can utilize to walk through it in a healthy way?

1. Actively seek to grow and mature.

Before the conflict begins, during the conflict, and after it is over, you should be looking to grow and mature. This isn’t in just one area but in all aspects. We should focus on relational, spiritual, educational, and mental maturity and seeking to grow as followers of Christ.

2. See the best in others and their intentions.

This can be difficult at times and we immediately want to say, “But you don’t know them or the context!” Yes, there are individuals and circumstances that are problematic and can have intentions that are anything but healthy and Christ-like. But that shouldn’t keep us from attempting to see the best in the people, organizations, and circumstances.

3. Engage with spiritual rhythms.

I was recently challenged to fast while preparing for an upcoming meeting that could have far reaching implications for our church. While I engaged with this rhythm, I began to see the way I prayed and focused on God changed and grew. My heart and mind truly shifted their focus and I began to have a greater sense of where God was guiding the upcoming conversation and direction for our church.

If we approach upcoming conversations that may have the potential to be difficult with our hearts and minds being centered on Christ, we will better be prepared for those moments and will be better suited to respond from a Christ-centered heart.

4. Cover the conflict in prayer.

I think when it comes to conflicts, we engage with prayer in specific ways. We pray going into it because we’re anxious and frustrated. We may pray during it because tensions are high. And periodically we may pray after the conflict is done because we’re thankful it’s over or frustrated it didn’t go our way. But prayer isn’t meant to be an afterthought or something we only do in the moments of tension or angst. It is something we should be doing constantly.

This means that prior to any conflict even starting, we should be praying for a Christ-like attitude and heart so we can approach those moments as He would. We need to be praying for the people involved and for God to work in everyone’s life. We should not be praying for our preferred outcome, but for God to do what needs to be done. When we engage in conflict from a Christ-centered mindset we are reshaping how we see ourselves, others, and the tension at hand. In essence, we are engaging in spiritual growth as we walk through these moments by allowing God to work in and through us as we approach Him through prayer.

5. Reflect on your own heart and motivations.

This is perhaps one of the hardest things to do in these situations. It is often in moments of conflict that we want to run with our emotions and desires. It’s when we want to prove we are right. It is when we desire to validate what we have been feeling and fight for our position. I get it, I really do.

Of course we want to hold to our convictions and validate our position. But have you ever stopped to ask why? Why is it so important to be right? Have you paused to consider what would happen if you didn’t have to win? What if you just listened and sought to understand? By taking the time to reflect on your own motivations and where your heart is, it allows you to take a spiritual checkup of your life and to assess your reasons for how you progress and it guides the steps you need to take.

Bonus tip: Go to trusted advisors and mentors for insight.

Often times it is easy to go to friends and peers who empathize with you and will tell you you’re in the right and support you no matter what. But in order to engage in a healthy way, it is beneficial to have someone you trust who will speak truth to you because they will lovingly tell you if you have messed up. This is a must to engage conflict from a healthy perspective because we may not always see our missteps due to our own blind spots.

What to Do When “Nobody” Shows Up [Part Two]

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When you look around an empty room on a youth group night, you can feel so defeated. Seeing only a few kids show up to an outreach you have spent months planning can make you doubt your abilities. Continuing to lose leaders or not be able to recruit more leaves us wondering what are we doing wrong.

I get those feelings. I’ve been there, in each one of those moments and many others. These situations are heavy and cause us to ask deep and difficult questions. But can I stop and encourage you? It’s often in these moments we feel weakest, unqualified, and like a failure. It’s in these moments when the enemy attacks and causes us to doubt and question if we need to be in ministry. My friends, in these moments, yes, self reflection is necessary. We should always be willing to learn, grow, and be stretched. But doubting your calling and your abilities is an attack the enemy loves to throw at us because he knows that when we are hurting we are less apt to have our defenses up.

I want to encourage you to remember that you aren’t a failure. That God has placed a calling upon your life. You are called to lead and serve. You are not a failure, you are chosen by God to care for His people. You have gifts, talents, and abilities that are unique to you. God crafted you just how you are because there are students who need you! Cast aside the lies of Satan and stand in the truth, freedom, and redemption that God has given you as you embrace His calling on your life.

Last week we started off a two-part series called What to Do When “Nobody” Shows Up. (Make sure to start with part one if you haven’t already read it, then come back here for part two.) These posts are designed to challenge us to think differently about what is happening and also to provide ways to move forward in a proactive manner. These posts are meant to challenge our perspectives and to call us back to a right way of thinking as we embrace the calling we have received.

Keep fighting the good fight, my friends! Don’t stop because things aren’t working and no one is showing up. Improvise, adapt, and overcome. Lean into God and be willing to see what He sees and make changes when necessary. Here are some additional tips that will help us navigate these moments in ministry.

Investigate.

In situations like these we are quick to assume why students or leaders haven’t come. It’s easy to do that and it provides momentary alleviation of some of the feelings we have. But it will ultimately lead to bigger and deeper hurt because we allow our assumptions to run wild, which affects our hearts and how we see others.

Before jumping to a conclusion seek to understand why people weren’t there. Was there a school event? Was it final rehearsal for the spring play? Did you schedule something on Valentine’s Day and all of your married leaders didn’t come? Investigating allows you to better understand what is going on and how you can change your approach and response to those moments.

Be thoughtful in how you respond.

Sometimes it’s easy to respond in the moment without being thoughtful and thinking through what we said and did. Instead, I’d recommend thinking critically before responding and being thoughtful in what you do and say. Those moments are when we can truly show how we care and why we care. Instead of responding out of hurt and frustration, we can show love and compassion as we navigate the difficult moments.

Keep working hard.

Let’s be honest: sometimes it’s moments like these that make us want to throw in the towel and walk away. We are hurt, frustrated, and saddened. We don’t know why things are happening the way they are or why no one has been showing up. That can put us into a funk and actually keep us from wanting to work. When we feel defeated it is difficult to press on.

Instead, what we need to do is remember what we are called to and seek to embrace that calling as we press forward. We cannot throw in the towel but instead should continue to rise to the challenge and look to grow and mature as we press into the hard moments.

As someone who has wrestled with these moments many times in ministry, I can tell you that continuing to work hard and press on will help you see results. They may not be as soon as we like or under the terms we want, but the God who has faithfully done a good work in you is faithful to continue to do good works in and through you. So continue to work hard and give God the glory in all moments.

Seek help and guidance.

There are moments when we need to get insight and help from others outside of our immediate spheres. When I find myself struggling with different aspects of ministry and life there are certain people I know who I can go to for help, advice, and guidance. These are friends, mentors, and even supervisors who I know will offer insights and critiques where needed. They are people who I know and trust and have permission to speak into my life and ministry. These types of individuals allow us to go to safe people to seek insight, help, and reminders but they will also challenge and push us to grow and see things in different lights. Going to others gives you an opportunity to assess and grow rather than trying to carry everything on your own.

Reach out and follow up.

When students or leaders don’t show up it is easy to feel frustrated and to not respond in healthy ways. But what we should be doing instead is reaching out to those individuals and following up with them. Checking in and seeing how someone is doing is a way of loving people and showing them you care.

Don’t make it a clinical or critical check-in but one that shows you love and care about them. Let them know you missed them. Ask them how they are doing or if there’s anything you can be helping with. Sometimes life is chaotic for people and we don’t always articulate that, so checking in and seeing how people are doing is highlighting that you truly care about your people as you intentionally step into their lives.

What to Do When “Nobody” Shows Up [Part One]

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Have you ever prepared for youth group and no one came? Did you hype up a special event and only have a few people come out? Has your attendance been light or underwhelming for a while? Have students just stopped coming or found a “better” youth group to go to? Have your leaders bailed again?

For many of us, we have experienced those moments. We know the weight and defeated feelings that come with those times. We ask hard questions that come from places of hurt, doubt, and defeat. We want to know answers. We wonder if we are called to this. We wonder why we keep failing.

This past week I was pulled aside by a volunteer and this is what happened:
“Nick, we have no students down at our end.”
“Really? None?”
“Well, I mean we are really light and we don’t have many guys at all.”

I could start feeling a twinge of worry and frustration creep in. I looked over at our high school room and it was hopping. Lots of students playing 9 Square and conversations happening in the cafe. “Let’s go take a look and see what’s up.”

We started to walk over and my mind raced with reasons why middle school students wouldn’t be here. Maybe they have a play coming up, perhaps parents didn’t want to drive because it’s cold, maybe middle school needs revamping, maybe we are failing at making it fun for them. Walking into the middle school wing I immediately notice the excitement and joy of a big group of students.

“I thought you said no one was here.”
“Well, we are light on guys.”
“Really? There’s a ton playing GaGaBall.”
“Well my group is light…we only have a few.”

In that conversation I realized two things: I needed to help my leader see things differently and I needed to be mindful of my own heart and thoughts. We both jumped to conclusions from different perspectives and neither were helpful. What we need to do instead is think through a proactive approach to these situations and how we can love and lead well during even in times of tension.

Be mindful of your attitude.

This is a big part of handling these moments well. We need to be discerning and thinking about our thoughts and hearts. What is going through your mind? What is prompting those thoughts and emotions? How are you reflecting that outwardly? When numbers are low or non-existent do you convey that with how you talk and act? Do you walk as someone defeated or do you approach this with thoughtfulness and a willingness to think creatively? Our attitudes are a reflection of our heart and mind and we need to guard those in these moments to protect ourselves and reflect Jesus even when it’s difficult.

Be mindful of your speech.

Sometimes in these moments it’s easy to say things like, “No one’s here,” or “Where is everyone,” or “Why aren’t your friends here?” Said to leaders these types of phrases can be discouraging; said to students they can be crippling. When we say these things to students they hear that they don’t matter, or their friends are more important.

Instead of asking where “everyone” is or bemoaning the lack of attendance, perhaps it would be better to intentionally engage with the students who are there and to follow up with the ones who weren’t. I would also recommend staying away from terms like “No one is here,” “Everyone is gone,” or “There’s never anyone here.” These terms and others like them deal with extremes and don’t allow for any wiggle room or truth to come through.

Be mindful of your body language.

So often our emotions, whether good or bad, are reflected through our body language. If we are feeling defeated or sad or frustrated, it will be reflected in how we stand, sit, and even in how we teach. Instead of reflecting negatively or expressing tension, pause and ask God for peace and hope as you engage during those tough moments. Seek to reflect joy and peace to the people who are present, especially as you reflect Jesus to them.

Remember your calling.

These moments can be debilitating in numerous ways. They often cause us to doubt if we are in the right place, serving how we should be serving, and if this is actually the calling we once believed it was. The enemy loves to cause us to doubt and question if the calling God has given to us is legitimate, and it is in moments like these where we need to lean into Jesus and remind ourselves of what He has called us to.

We need to trust in God in moments of difficulty and doubt, and remember that He is faithful. God didn’t call us into an easy role, but He did promise us that we’d never be in it alone. We need to remember whose we are as we remember who we are and what we are called to. God called you into this role and you have a calling to be faithful with what you have been given to care for and steward.

Join us next week when we continue this conversation with part two!

How to Host Intentional Events

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Yesterday Elise and I watched the Super Bowl from the comfort of our own home as we relaxed, ate snacks, and enjoyed the commercials and Taylor Swift commentary. That wasn’t always the case though. We were reflecting this past week about how at our prior church we hosted a massive “Big Game” party.

We provided wings, pizza, and snacks. We brought in a mobile laser tag company. We had inflatables going all night long. There was a dodge ball tournament and few rooms down we had Just Dance going. We had the Big Game going in a room filled with couches and comfy seating. We also incorporated a lesson at halftime for our students. And that was just during the game.

Prior to we had all the organization and set up. We were attempting to pre-screen all the commercials. We were ordering all the food and connecting with the companies who were bringing in our event items. And we were organizing prizes for our annual game day quiz.

But do you know what this party actually lacked? Intentionality. The only real purpose this party had was just that: to be a party. Students would invite their friends and attend, but there was very little spiritual reward for the amount of effort, time, and work that went into it. We rarely saw new students return, students weren’t focused on the lesson, leaders were frustrated by how intense and long the event was, and no one really got to watch the game.

In many ways, it was discouraging in the moment and now reflecting back it has challenged us to be more intentional in how we plan, organize, and run events. So how do you actually host intentional parties or events?

Align with your mission and vision.

This is a big part to any event or gathering that you host. I’m ashamed to admit that it took me a long time to get to this point but once I understood it, it radically altered my approach and methodology to ministry. Aligning your mission and vision with what you do helps your ministry to drive home what you’re seeking to replicate and cultivate.

Our vision is this: to be an encouraging community of disciples who are sent to build the kingdom of God. That means we will say yes to events that help us build out our vision of disciple-making. On the flip side it means we will say no to other things. That doesn’t mean we don’t like them or that they don’t serve a purpose. We are simply saying we are seeking to align with our mission and vision and that is what drives us. This point will help you focus on what you are doing by giving you purpose and direction, and it will also shape the identity of your ministry.

Have a stated purpose and goal.

This goes hand-in-hand with the previous point. While you may have the understanding that the event you’re hosting aligns with your vision, does everyone else? Do your leaders know? What about the students and their families? I’m not saying you need to write out a thesis statement for each thing you do, but by providing a purpose and goal you’re helping to bring clarity, understanding, and direction to your ministry.

It could be something as simple as putting a line in your newsletter explaining the event and what your hope is for it. It could be announcing it to your students and leaders at youth group. Or it could be something you share at a training for your leaders. Outlining the goal and purpose will provide understanding and clarity for your group.

Generate buy-in.

This is really important when it comes to hosting events. If you and your leaders aren’t excited and talking about your event why would you expect your students to be excited? Your excitement and attitude is key to generating buy-in, but you can also do this by empowering your students to be the voice for your ministry.

If students are excited and participating in the event, let them be the vocal supporters and challenge them to invite their friends. Also, look to create unique elements to your events that are outside of the normal everyday programming that you host. Whether it’s a competition, prizes, different snacks, or something else, look to bring in different elements that will excite and engage your students and their peers.

Incorporate students.

Just as we said with the previous point, students are essential to the success of intentional events. Having their buy-in is huge, but so is utilizing their gifts and having them help facilitate the event. Students are amazing leaders and if you give them the opportunity they will seize it and do great things. Bring them in, hear their ideas, incorporate their suggestions, allow them to thrive and fail, and see what God will do in and through them.

Utilize the church body.

Crafting spaces for inter-generational relationship opportunities and community to occur will help your intentional events thrive. We have an amazing older couple who faithfully serve in our cafe each week and at any event that has food. They embody the love of Jesus as they smile and engage with students, even going so far as stopping what they are doing to sit and listen to a student who is having a bad week.

These type of volunteers and others in your church can show students the love of Jesus and help foster a true inter-generational church atmosphere. This will do wonders to help your church grow and mature. It may take time and effort on your part to create these moments and challenge the church to step up, but keep beating that drum and pray for God to awaken the church toward this vital mission.

Create space for connection and community.

Whatever your event, creating opportunities for community and connections is key. There will always be students who desire quieter spaces and opportunities to engage in conversations. So having places for those opportunities will help to create a successful event. It can just be some couches or tables and chairs that have games, coloring books, or activities, but that are situated in a way that encourages conversations. These spaces will help everyone feel valued and seen and provide a place for people to be refreshed and encouraged.

What are the priorities you seek to embody at your events?

8 Keys to Building a Successful Student Ministry

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This is probably not going to be the post that you are thinking. This isn’t a post about achieving notoriety, building a massive youth ministry program, and becoming an international speaker who is generating revenue off of their student ministry book sales.

None of that is inherently wrong nor should we look with disdain at those who are currently doing those things. But that isn’t the way to measure if your ministry is successful or not. If that is the standard by which we are measuring success, then the vast majority of us are failing in our roles.

So how do we measure the success of our ministries? Success isn’t measurable by the size of your budget or how many students attend or by your personal speaking engagements. Success is measured by whether your students know Jesus and if they are pursuing Him; that is the definition of a flourishing program.

I am not saying that if you put all the steps in this post into action your ministry will change overnight. In fact, I’d probably argue that it’ll take a good chunk of time for a ministry to change. But I can tell you that if you follow these steps, if you put in the heavy lifting, and if you focus on where God has planted you, you will begin to see change. Over time, you will look back and see where God has brought you from and be able to get excited about where He is leading you.

1. Listen well and listen to learn.

So often we can jump into a ministry (especially one we are just starting in) and look to make a ton of changes right away. Nothing is wrong with change, but when you don’t take the time to listen and learn, you may actually make changes that could be more harmful than good. This philosophy applies holistically to our ministries.

I’m not arguing for inaction or to crawl along hoping change will come, but instead I would challenge you to listen well and listen to learn. Be intentional and relational. Listen to your people. Get to know their hearts. Ask good, thoughtful questions and seek to understand. The better you listen the better your ministry will be because you are not valuing just the ministry, you’re valuing the people who make the ministry.

2. Be yourself.

One thing I see all too often is youth workers trying to emulate a popular figure in their circles or a noted pastor. This doesn’t work. In a world where students are bombarded with inauthenticity every day in every circumstance, they are craving truth and authenticity. They want the real you! They want to know you and see who you are. The more that you are yourself, the more students will begin to trust and relate to you. God has uniquely designed and crafted you to reach your students so be who you are created to be.

3. Love boldly.

Students are looking for people who will love them for who they are and will continue to love them even when they mess up. The more that you can love your students and in doing so, show them the love of Jesus, the stronger your ministry will become. Love well, love boldly, and love your students like Jesus loves them and you will begin to see change.

4. Focus on discipleship and spiritual formation.

This is a part of youth ministry that took me a long time to understand and implement. I’m ashamed to admit that I was more focused on the fun element and didn’t really dig into discipleship and spiritual formation. But over the last ten years, I have seen that the methodology of Jesus (small group discipleship) works and students flourish with it.

It isn’t just doing small groups though; it’s about sharing life and showing our students how to engage in their relationship with Jesus in all parts of their lives. It’s helping them grow as Christ-followers and develop healthy spiritual rhythms that help them to become more mature disciples.

5. Don’t see limitations, see your potential and opportunities.

So often it is easy to think in terms of what we don’t have or wish we did have. While we can recognize that some groups may have things we do not, simply thinking in those terms aren’t helpful. If we only think about our limitations we will never see what we can be and what God can do. We will be stifled and hindered if we approach ministry by what we don’t have. But if we see what God has given us it allows us to focus our energies and craft a workable vision. Be willing to see what you do have and the potential opportunities you have to grow and pour into your community.

6. Build networks.

This is key because it helps you to grow and generate new ideas, but it also provides potential for your students to have cross-pollination and to see the other students who follow Jesus in their community. Building networks will give you access to not just new ideas but also may allow you to move past your limitations and share resources and ideas. Networks are a great way to build resources, community, and fellowship for you and your students.

7. Admit mistakes and be willing to try and fail.

Two things I wish I’d learned early in my career were how to admit when I messed up and at the same time, be willing to take risks and try new things even if it meant I would fail. Sometimes we only keep the status quo because it’s safe and feels comfortable, but if we are challenging ourselves to try new things and take risks we could see great rewards come about. But we will still fail, and one way you can lead out in this is showing your students it’s okay to fail and owning it when you do. Showing your students how leaders respond to mistakes is huge and will help them to see that they can trust you because you’re authentic and real.

8. Keep learning and growing.

The best thing you can do for your ministry is to keep learning and growing as a youth leader. The more you grow and mature as a leader, the more your ministry will grow and mature along with you. By being a leader who highlights growth and maturity, you are highlighting someone that students will want to follow. You will also grow and learn new things you can implement and utilize to bless and care for your students as you strive to better yourself.

How to Handle Getting Fired

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Disclaimer: This post is not a reflection of anything happening currently in our lives. It instead is a response to seeing numerous people share about being let go immediately following this holiday season and over the start of the new year.

Over the course of my adult life, I have been fired or let go twice. Once was from a non-ministry job where I was told, “I’m letting you go so you can go find a job in ministry somewhere.” Mind you, I didn’t have a job to go to and was a couple weeks out from getting married. The second was from a ministry position. I was the low man on the totem pole and was told I had hit my glass ceiling and was done. Thankfully, a mentor advocated on my behalf and negotiated for me to stay on until I could find a new job so we could continue to pay our bills and make ends meet.

I share this with you not to gain sympathy but to highlight that I get it. I have had multiple conversations with friends and peers who are going through difficult moments of transition. I’ve heard the stories of when those moments are handled well and handled poorly. The emotions that are felt in those times are raw, honest, tense, and reflective of our passion for reaching students and our communities.

The truth is that we can respond either poorly or proactively in those moments, and I can say I have responded in both ways during those two circumstances. My emotions have gotten the better of me, my Jersey boy sarcasm has made appearances, and I have also responded out of hurt and pain. But in the other circumstance I responded well and didn’t let my emotions drive me, and handled it with maturity and respect.

As I have been hearing the stories from my friends and peers, I became acutely aware that no one ever wants to be fired and rarely are we expecting it. But the truth of the matter is some, if not all, of us will experience this at some point. It doesn’t have to be because you did something wrong or weren’t a good employee. It could be due to budget cuts, church issues, or leadership transitions.

The truth that we need to grapple with is this: are we prepared should this happen to us? I’m not arguing that we should live in fear or angst, but instead should be thinking through how we respond in difficult moments and how are we protecting our hearts and minds. That’s the goal of today’s post, to help us be proactive and willing to grow and prepare should this moment arise in our ministry career.

Be mindful of your emotions and responses.

Let’s just be honest with one another. Emotions are going to be high and tense in these moments. We go through all the feelings and our minds are racing. It is easy to run with knee-jerk responses, to respond out of anger, frustration, disbelief, and hurt. But often when we do respond from those places, we respond poorly and say things that are hurtful and things we will regret.

Instead, my encouragement is for you to be mindful of your emotions and responses. A great way to work through this in the moment is to pause before you respond. Count to 10 and make sure you are breathing and not just gearing up for a fight. Pause and offer a quick prayer for discernment, grace, and a proper response.

Another helpful response would be to ask for time to process and continue the conversation when appropriate. This doesn’t always work out, nor is it always appropriate or even applicable. But it is a way to allow space to make sure you have gotten your mind and heart in check and it affords you an opportunity to process. A few encouragements I would offer are to not respond from anger, don’t attack or accuse, and seek to understand and respond as Christ would.

Be thoughtful and Christ-honoring in how you speak of things and people.

I am not saying you shouldn’t speak the truth about what happened, but let’s be real: it’s easy to allow our emotions and tensions to drive us toward gossip, bitterness, and playing the victim. I’m not saying that you weren’t treated poorly, nor am I saying you aren’t the victim in this circumstance. But we–as is true of all people–are prone to presenting a skewed approach and perspective, because receiving encouragement and having people take our side feels good and vindicating.

Instead, what I am challenging all us to do is to be mindful of what we say and how we say it. Don’t badmouth the church or its leaders. Don’t try to draw sides or seek to further divide the church. And remember that while what happened may be unfair, cruel, and just completely wrong, you can still speak about others and the church in a manner that honors Christ. Truth can still be spoken, but be thoughtful about how, why, when, and to whom you say it.

One of the best ways this has been explained to me is to think about concentric circles. Think of your closest group of friends and confidantes. They are the inner most circle, the ones you can share almost everything if not everything with (spouse, best friends, etc.). Now imagine a second circle that is placed around the first circle but is slightly larger. This represents a different group. This may be friends, people in a small group, or volunteers. For this group you can share information and what happened but you don’t share as much because they aren’t as close to you. This continues outward until it encompasses all the appropriate people. The further out the circles go, the less you share with them. This is not because you don’t value them or want them to know, but everyone doesn’t need to know all the details.

Ask thoughtful questions.

In these moments you can ask clarifying questions and seek understanding for why things are progressing in this manner and where they go from here. Ask why you’re being let go if it hasn’t been stated. Look for clarity into what could have been done differently for all parties. Seek to understand the timeline and compensation if there is any.

I am not saying you will get the answers and responses you want, and there may be times you don’t get any answers. But being able to pose questions will help you to process and prayerfully gain insight. Another way to go about this, especially if you are an internal processor, is to ask for 24 hours to think on everything and to come back with questions. Depending on your office environment and leadership this may or may not happen, but if they’ll allow it, you would have time and space to work through your questions as you seek clarity.

Bring in an advocate.

If you think you are being treated unfairly or unjustly, consider bringing in an advocate to help you move through this transition. It could be a trusted supervisor, a mentor, or even a pastor from another church. I will say this: be mindful of how you approach this. It isn’t often that people will have a heads up that they are getting fired, so you may not be able to bring an advocate to the plenary meeting. Instead, what you can do is ask to meet again and to bring someone with you to help you process and work through everything.

I will be honest with you and say that this approach depends on the leadership and also how you respond in the first meeting. If leadership truly is leading well and seeking to handle this situation in a God-honoring manner, then they will be more open to engaging in this way. But it is also dependent upon you. Your attitude and response in that first meeting is key. If you respond out of anger or talk about the leadership after the meeting in a way that causes more tension and heartache, they will be less inclined to meet with you.

Do not contribute to church dissension.

It is so easy in these moments to paint ourselves as the victim and to seek to rally our supporters to our side. And yes, many of us have been and will be victims of broken leadership and we will want to know people support us and see that it wasn’t fair. That is the reality of the human condition. But what isn’t right or okay is contributing to the brokenness or increasing it.

We should seek to be part of the solution and not part of the problem, striving to live in a Christlike manner and to reflect that to the people around us. That doesn’t mean you need to lie or pretend like everything is okay. But it does mean you can speak with tact, grace, and compassion. This isn’t easy, believe me, I know. But seeking to help churches heal and grow instead of contributing to the tension and ongoing brokenness will be helpful for the people you care for.

Preparing Leaders for Trips

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Our winter retreat is coming up in a few short weeks and we are taking our biggest group yet to camp. Of course that means we need plenty of leaders to go with us to care for our students as they shepherd them in the disciple-making process.

I’m a little embarrassed to admit that it took me a substantial amount of time to actually host meetings and training sessions for leaders going on trips. I used to simply ask leaders to show up 15-30 minutes before students on the day of departure and would try to cover all the bases in that short time span. Over time I came to realize that those types of meetings didn’t cover all the details, weren’t intentional, and lacked clarity and relationship.

In the past few years we have begun hosting meetings and training for all of our trips even weekend ones to help prepare, guide, equip, and love on our leaders. Today, I’m sharing what we incorporate into our meetings for our weekend trips and how we empower our leaders to lead and shepherd well. I would suggest everything you talk through be put into a folder for each leader and also put into digital form where applicable.

Talk through expectations.

Expectations should incorporate what you are asking of your leaders. This should include expectations for when you’re traveling, stopping at places along the way, and at the camp. Think bigger than just what you want of your leaders on a normal youth group night, and think through what you’re asking of them throughout the entirety of the trip. You will need them to help with respecting drivers and their vehicles, honoring the places you stop at like gas stations or restaurants, and respecting the rules and guidance of the camp.

Talk through logistics.

Have you ever gone to a camp that you’ve never been to before? Did you feel overwhelmed? Were you trying to figure out where everything was? Did you know the schedule or were you trying to figure that out on the fly? If that’s how you felt, imagine how your leaders felt.

Preparing our leaders for what to expect is key. Take time to talk through what the camp is like, hand out a map if applicable, talk through what the camp offers, the structure of the weekend, departure and arrival times, cabin assignments, small group expectations, lights out, free time requirements of leaders, first aid, meal times, packing lists for leaders, and cleanup. Anything that will help your leaders feel comfortable and acclimated to your space is key and necessary to go over.

Go over the schedule.

I extremely dislike showing up to a meeting, trip, speaking engagement, or really anywhere that I have a role in, without knowing what is happening. The same can be said for our leaders and by not setting them up for success we are setting them up to fail. So take time to walk through the schedule. Highlight key things that are required. Talk through free time options. Walk through lights out and meal times. All of these aspects will help set your leaders up for success and allow them to communicate well with their students. I would also suggest having a printed schedule and a digital one for your leaders to utilize.

Talk about the location.

This is huge especially if you’re at a location that is a bit more spread out. Our winter camp is fairly spread out for free time activities and when we arrive at the camp in the evening the outdoor lighting isn’t great. So being able to show your leaders a map of the camp and explain where everything is will help them feel more comfortable and prepared for the trip.

Provide guidance for small groups.

Our winter camp doesn’t provide small group questions until we arrive on-site. For our leaders that doesn’t work because they have been trained to expect questions and guidance for groups at least 24-48 hours ahead of time. Because we know we won’t get the questions ahead of time, we build out generic small group questions and guidance for the groups to work through. This at least provides our leaders with some tools and resources to move through the small group time.

We make sure each small group knows where they are meeting and how to get there from the worship hall. We also provide guidance for how long to meet and make sure they are aware that it’s okay to go longer than the predetermined time. Another thing we tell our leaders is that there are additional Bibles, pens, notebooks, devotional guides, and new Christian resources for them as needed for their groups.

Bless your leaders.

We have talked before about blessing leaders when we go on trips, and I cannot stress enough how important this is. It is a way to value and care for them as you recognize their sacrifice of leading their students. We typically do gift bags with essentials for the trip (Advil, Advil PM, hand warmers, lip balm, and earplugs) coupled with various treats and snacks. But it doesn’t have to incorporate all of these things. Sometimes the best way to bless leaders could be a handwritten note, a gift certificate to the camp snack bar, a Starbucks gift card or bringing them their favorite drink, or even having lunch for them. The purpose of blessing your leaders is to show love, care, and intentionality, so however you choose to do this, it will be well received.

Spend time praying together.

This is a key part to helping prepare our leaders for trips. We take time to pray for our students who are going, the camp, the speaker and worship team, for our leaders, needed conversations, and for God to work powerfully during our trip. Typically we pray as small groups at round tables and then come back together for someone from our team to pray over all of our leaders who are going on the trip.

How do you help to prepare your leaders for your trips?