Make Room for Leaders of All Generations

I’ll admit, when I started to work in youth ministry the key idea for recruiting volunteers was to find the young, cool, and relatable college students or young adults. It seemed the mentality was “have cool young people leading and it will attract students to your program.” As I have been serving in student ministry I will admit that my personal philosophy and desires have evolved in this category.

I believe having leaders of multiple generations serving in student ministry isn’t just something we should be doing, but is essential in the discipleship process of our students. Different generations of leaders offer different perspectives, insights, skills, relational connections, maturity, and abilities to speak into students’ lives. Older generations have a better understanding of navigating life and its challenges while younger leaders can engage with the “here-and-now” parts of our students’ lives. Both of those generations are necessary and important for our students to help them grow and mature in their lives and faith journeys.

But how do we do this well? How do we not only encourage various generations to serve but also encourage our students to engage with them?

Start by highlighting the need.

Make sure people know there’s a need. Those of us who work in student ministries know there is a huge need for loving and capable adults to serve. But does your church know that? I’ll be honest: I’ve assumed this before but the truth of the matter is that people may not know.

I was talking to some elders a short time ago and as I was explaining what was happening in our ministry one of them asked me this question: Do you have enough leaders? I chuckled and said no, and they were shocked. The reality is that even our leadership may not know that we need more help.

To help people take a step of faith and serve, you must highlight the need. Talk about it. Share stories. Point to what more leaders could accomplish. The more you share the need, the better the opportunities for recruiting new leaders.

Extend a personal invitation.

In as much as I would hope this would happen, people don’t typically show up at my office asking to serve. I’d love that to happen but it only has a handful of times. The way I have typically recruited people is through a personal invite.

Reach out to different generations and ask them to serve. Take them out for coffee, explain the need, share why you are asking them, and ask them if they’d be interested. The more you can care for and invest in people, the more likely they are to jump in and serve alongside you.

Explain what different generations bring.

I love talking to people who think they are “too old” to work with students because I get to point them to the truth that they aren’t too old. Sure, as we age maybe we can’t play dodge ball or 9 Square as much (or ever), but that doesn’t mean we are dismissed from serving.

Students crave authentic, Jesus-centered, interpersonal relationships with adults, and I have found that older generations tend to be amazing at doing this. I love watching people in their 60s and 70s sit with students, listen and share stories, love them well, and show up at important moments in students’ lives. When you can highlight the importance of inter-generational relationships and the skills, insight, and wisdom that different generations bring, you will help to ensure that they see value in serving.

Show ways generations can participate and serve.

This is key in encouraging different generations to serve. We have different areas that people can serve and I would encourage you to think about places where people can step in. It may mean we have to think creatively or create new opportunities, but doing so will help your ministry to flourish.

These areas can include small group leaders, mentorship roles, managing the cafe or kitchen areas, helping with administration, teaching, mentoring and shepherding your leaders, leading training sessions, or any other areas where you see a need.

Create opportunities for generations to serve together.

Don’t isolate generations or have them serve in silos. Instead incorporate different generations throughout your ministry. Have leaders serve together from different generations, allow various generations to disciple and speak into the lives of your students, have all generations at training, and show equal value and worth to all generations.

This may seem like a “duh” reality, but our culture doesn’t always allow different generations to share life together and that can, at times, seep into our ministries. We must be intentional in creating opportunities to serve together and thinking about how our ministry is actively doing so.

Preparing Leaders for Trips

Our winter retreat is coming up in a few short weeks and we are taking our biggest group yet to camp. Of course that means we need plenty of leaders to go with us to care for our students as they shepherd them in the disciple-making process.

I’m a little embarrassed to admit that it took me a substantial amount of time to actually host meetings and training sessions for leaders going on trips. I used to simply ask leaders to show up 15-30 minutes before students on the day of departure and would try to cover all the bases in that short time span. Over time I came to realize that those types of meetings didn’t cover all the details, weren’t intentional, and lacked clarity and relationship.

In the past few years we have begun hosting meetings and training for all of our trips even weekend ones to help prepare, guide, equip, and love on our leaders. Today, I’m sharing what we incorporate into our meetings for our weekend trips and how we empower our leaders to lead and shepherd well. I would suggest everything you talk through be put into a folder for each leader and also put into digital form where applicable.

Talk through expectations.

Expectations should incorporate what you are asking of your leaders. This should include expectations for when you’re traveling, stopping at places along the way, and at the camp. Think bigger than just what you want of your leaders on a normal youth group night, and think through what you’re asking of them throughout the entirety of the trip. You will need them to help with respecting drivers and their vehicles, honoring the places you stop at like gas stations or restaurants, and respecting the rules and guidance of the camp.

Talk through logistics.

Have you ever gone to a camp that you’ve never been to before? Did you feel overwhelmed? Were you trying to figure out where everything was? Did you know the schedule or were you trying to figure that out on the fly? If that’s how you felt, imagine how your leaders felt.

Preparing our leaders for what to expect is key. Take time to talk through what the camp is like, hand out a map if applicable, talk through what the camp offers, the structure of the weekend, departure and arrival times, cabin assignments, small group expectations, lights out, free time requirements of leaders, first aid, meal times, packing lists for leaders, and cleanup. Anything that will help your leaders feel comfortable and acclimated to your space is key and necessary to go over.

Go over the schedule.

I extremely dislike showing up to a meeting, trip, speaking engagement, or really anywhere that I have a role in, without knowing what is happening. The same can be said for our leaders and by not setting them up for success we are setting them up to fail. So take time to walk through the schedule. Highlight key things that are required. Talk through free time options. Walk through lights out and meal times. All of these aspects will help set your leaders up for success and allow them to communicate well with their students. I would also suggest having a printed schedule and a digital one for your leaders to utilize.

Talk about the location.

This is huge especially if you’re at a location that is a bit more spread out. Our winter camp is fairly spread out for free time activities and when we arrive at the camp in the evening the outdoor lighting isn’t great. So being able to show your leaders a map of the camp and explain where everything is will help them feel more comfortable and prepared for the trip.

Provide guidance for small groups.

Our winter camp doesn’t provide small group questions until we arrive on-site. For our leaders that doesn’t work because they have been trained to expect questions and guidance for groups at least 24-48 hours ahead of time. Because we know we won’t get the questions ahead of time, we build out generic small group questions and guidance for the groups to work through. This at least provides our leaders with some tools and resources to move through the small group time.

We make sure each small group knows where they are meeting and how to get there from the worship hall. We also provide guidance for how long to meet and make sure they are aware that it’s okay to go longer than the predetermined time. Another thing we tell our leaders is that there are additional Bibles, pens, notebooks, devotional guides, and new Christian resources for them as needed for their groups.

Bless your leaders.

We have talked before about blessing leaders when we go on trips, and I cannot stress enough how important this is. It is a way to value and care for them as you recognize their sacrifice of leading their students. We typically do gift bags with essentials for the trip (Advil, Advil PM, hand warmers, lip balm, and earplugs) coupled with various treats and snacks. But it doesn’t have to incorporate all of these things. Sometimes the best way to bless leaders could be a handwritten note, a gift certificate to the camp snack bar, a Starbucks gift card or bringing them their favorite drink, or even having lunch for them. The purpose of blessing your leaders is to show love, care, and intentionality, so however you choose to do this, it will be well received.

Spend time praying together.

This is a key part to helping prepare our leaders for trips. We take time to pray for our students who are going, the camp, the speaker and worship team, for our leaders, needed conversations, and for God to work powerfully during our trip. Typically we pray as small groups at round tables and then come back together for someone from our team to pray over all of our leaders who are going on the trip.

How do you help to prepare your leaders for your trips?

How to Interview Potential Volunteers

We know that in order for student ministries to run well we need quality volunteers. We don’t just need warm bodies, we need people who will actively engage in life-on-life discipleship with students.

Elise and I have recruited many volunteers over the years, and Elise is an active volunteer herself and has served with co-leaders throughout her time in ministry. However, if I am being honest, there have been times I’ve rushed the process or recruited someone who wasn’t the best fit. Thankfully God has still used those individuals in those moments, but it has forced us to think about the recruitment process and how we interview leaders.

With our unique backgrounds of recruiting volunteers, being a volunteer, and serving with volunteers we wanted to offer some helpful insight and suggestions on what your interviews could look like when recruiting new volunteers to your ministry. We want to offer insight into what we have learned through our time in ministry that has impacted our recruitment and interview strategies.

Ask them to share their faith journey.

One of the best ways you can get to know someone is asking them about their faith journey. You get to hear how God has worked in their life, what has changed for them, and also why they care about serving in the church. Often times you will hear about how student ministry impacted their life or how their experience with Jesus has directed them to work with students.

Get to know them and their family.

During an interview of potential volunteers I always try to get to know them at a personal level. I ask about their favorite restaurants, their favorite snacks, what they do for a living, and I ask about their family. Family is super important and it’s always good to be able to walk with your volunteers and their families. This allows you to care holistically for your team and to see how you can pray and care for them.

Ask them to share the Gospel.

When it comes to working with students who fall all along the faith paradigm, it is important to know that your leaders can share the Good News with your students. Ask them to share it and pay attention to how they do it. If it’s a typical Romans Road style, ask them how they would share their faith with students who aren’t sure they believe the Bible just yet. Encourage them to think outside of the “typical” methods and think about doing it in a boots-on-the-ground way when students ask hard and personal questions.

Have them do a personality assessment.

This is always a great idea to do with any leadership team, but especially with new volunteers. You’ll learn about what they value, you’ll find out their stressors, you’ll uncover strengths and weaknesses, and you will be able to figure out who should be their co-leader based on how they will work together.

Ask them about their leadership style.

As you are getting to know the potential volunteer, ask them about how they lead. Do they work well with other leaders? Does their style work with what your vision is pointing toward? Are they focused on discipleship or simply teaching at students? Are they confrontational or willing to work with different people and personalities? Is it their way only or will they work with leadership? What are their strengths and weaknesses? Knowing the leadership style and gifting of your volunteers allows you to place them in the portion of your ministry where they will succeed and have the greatest impact on your students.

Find out why they want to serve with students.

This is a question I learned to ask because I began to see disconnects among some of my leaders. We are a discipleship-based ministry and our leaders ask our students a lot of questions during small group time and help them think through practical application for their lives.

But we had some leaders who thought small group time was another time to teach a secondary lesson or reteach what was already taught so it was taught correctly. That presented some difficult conversations with those leaders, but ultimately we were able to all be on the same page. It’s important to make sure the values and reasoning for serving with your students reflects the heart and mission of your ministry.

Ask how they would work with another leader.

Depending on where you serve, the possibility of having two or more leaders for a single small group is a luxury you may not have at this point. However, you will at least have them working with you as the other leader, which means you need to know more about how they work with others. Ask them questions about their leadership style. Ask them how they respond to authority. Investigate how they handle disagreements or differences with other adults. Ask about their communication style. These questions will help you think through how they will fit within your ministry and with other leaders.

Ask them their thoughts on the vision of the ministry.

Whenever someone is looking to join a ministry or an organization, you should make sure that they understand and align with the mission and vision of the ministry. Having someone serve on your team who doesn’t align with the direction and focus will ultimately lead to tensions and disconnects, which will come to a head. When you interview someone ask them what they think about your vision. Ask them how they see that mission playing out in their lives. Ask them how they will help model that vision to the students.

After sharing the requirements of the ministry, verify if they can commit to them.

This has been a misstep for me all too often. I’ve noticed confusion after the fact because I didn’t clearly articulate what we are asking of each individual leader. This often came about when leaders thought they had to serve in both our Wednesday and Sunday programs. And that rests on my shoulders because I hadn’t stated that they choose to do either or they could do both, but both programs aren’t a requirement. So make sure that the commitment is clearly stated, and then make sure that the volunteer can follow through with it.

Ask how you can be praying for them.

If we are truly shepherding our people, we should be doing this with even our potential volunteers. Often our people are carrying huge burdens, and simply knowing that a leader cares about them will mean the world. Be intentional, be relational, and be caring as you meet with individuals and love them well.

7 Ways to Help Students Serve

“Nick! You have two riding mowers?! Look at this one it’s bigger than what my family uses at our farm!”

“Yeah, it’s pretty cool. We also have a wood shop that our facility team utilizes.”

“Can I see it?!”

“Sure thing!” I unlocked the door to our wood shop and the student’s eyes almost jumped out of his head.

“Nick…this…is…amazing! I wish I could use this stuff and cut grass here.”

“You can if you want to. I can connect you with our facility team and if your parents are okay with it, you can help them out.”

“I’m gonna check with my parents after youth group and let you know this Sunday!”

This was a conversation I had with a middle school boy recently. He correctly identified the tractors, mowers, and tools as I simply nodded along trying not to show my ignorance in what he was pointing out. We were cleaning up from an outdoor event and he was helping me put things away in our garage at the church. When he saw all the resources our facility team had to take of the grounds and to build items for various ministries, our student was over the moon excited to be able to use them. I could see how much he enjoyed working with his hands and being outdoors, as well as driving some of our bigger mowers. (What middle school boy wouldn’t be excited about that?) But what I could really see was his desire to serve and help in an area he was passionate about.

I don’t know many people who get excited about doing yard work, but that wasn’t the point. The point was that this student found a place where he could use his gifts, passions, and skill sets to help serve the body of Christ and I wanted to help him excel in that area. Getting students excited about serving and helping them find their niche is an important part of guiding them toward growing in their faith and growing as a member in the body of Christ. So how do we do this well?

1. Model service for them.

One of the best ways to help students grow and have a desire for serving is by showing them what serving looks like. When students see us serving and doing so with a willing and joyful spirit, it will help grow a desire to be of service within them as well. It helps our students to learn through seeing others model serving and it also gives us a practical way of helping younger generations grow and mature as followers of Jesus. You are cultivating a desire to serve as you model service for them.

2. Challenge them.

The next way to help students serve is by challenging them to do so. If you see a need for service, challenge your students to rise to the occasion and meet the need. This could be helping with set-up and tear-down at an event. It could be doing yard work for someone in the church or the neighboring community. It could be helping in the nursery. Or it could be any number of other things. By highlighting the need and challenging your students to meet it, you are building in them a desire to serve and also giving them an opportunity to demonstrate their ability to lead and care for others.

3. Help them know their gifts and skills.

When I ask students what their gifts are or where they could serve the usual answer is, “I don’t know.” This isn’t because they are ambivalent or don’t care, but because they truly do not know. So find ways to help students identity their skills and gifts, but also highlight ways they can serve in and outside of the church. Spiritual gifts assessments abound online but one from Lifeway is a solid option that is more in-depth and will help students be able to see which gifts they have and how to utilize them. Coupling spiritual gifts assessments with ideas on how to serve and a skill set survey sheet will help your students start thinking creatively about where and how they can serve.

4. Help them come up with their own ideas.

While helping students figure out where to serve, I would highly suggest we not pigeonhole them into a certain area we think would be good for them. Instead, allow them to find their own ways to serve. Give them guidelines and a direction, but also allow them to be creative and find places and opportunities to serve on their own.

I encouraged a student to serve one time in our communications department because of their skill set with design and art, but their passion was serving in our worship department because they could help people engage corporately through different media. I hadn’t even thought of that option but if I had forced them to serve in a place they weren’t passionate, they may never have continued to serve. So let students be creative and think about where and how they want to serve.

5. Serve with them.

One of the best things we can do when it comes to helping students serve is to serve with them. I know we can’t do everything, especially on Sundays, but if you’re able to serve alongside your students periodically I would encourage you to do so. Maybe it’s helping with tech one week. Or perhaps it’s seeing a student mowing the church lawn and going out to help or bring them a bottle of water. Maybe it’s hosting a service day and working with them. The more students see serving modeled by you and your leaders the more they will continue to serve.

6. Equip them to serve.

This goes beyond simply helping them identify their gifts and where to serve. It is about helping them to grow and mature in their service. I’m not saying you need to know everything and help students know how to do all the things, but help them grow as servants of God. Teach them why we serve, show them how to serve joyfully, debrief with them, help them grow and try new things, encourage them, and connect your students with others who can help them grow and sharpen their skills.

7. Follow up.

Follow-up is one of the most necessary things to do when we challenge students to serve, and it is also one of the things that tends to fall by the wayside. Be willing to check in on your students and see if they have followed through on their commitments, but also listen to how they are doing while serving. When you follow up, it isn’t about making sure students are behaving and doing the right things. Follow-up is checking in to see how their hearts are doing and being intentional and relational in your conversations. It’s caring about your students and their maturity as followers of Christ. Making sure your students are experiencing growth and seeing how they are valid and needed parts of the body of Christ is paramount as you follow up with them.

How are you helping and equipping students to serve?

3 Quick Tips for Volunteer Recruitment

As we enter into summer programming you may not be actively thinking about recruiting new leaders for the fall. Perhaps this seems early for some of you. I know that isn’t how I have typically operated, which usually leads to a mad dash and panicked few weeks in August as we try to find quality volunteers right before we start programming. This isn’t a healthy way to start programming for us or our volunteers as we both end up feeling rushed and not fully prepared for the school year.

As I have begun to take some hard looks at volunteer recruitment, I have realized that things need to change in order to better equip our leaders and ministries to serve our students. If recruiting sounds difficult or exasperating, I get it. I have often felt the same way. But if we approach recruitment differently, we can help alleviate the tension. So here are three easy ways to save yourself a lot of stress and hardship, and help yourself find quality leaders.

1. Start early.

For the first time ever, our team started recruiting this past week. We began to reach out to potential leaders, we added volunteer opportunities to our monthly newsletter, and we asked our leaders to identify potential additional leaders. Perhaps this is something you always do, but for our team it isn’t. The earliest that we have started would be the end of July, and it often led to a rushed and angst-filled month before programming kicked off.

Planning ahead and building up your volunteer group early allows you to make sure your leaders are equipped and prepared for the school year. And as you begin to plan ahead, you can scale it each year and begin to recruit even earlier. Next year we are already planning to begin recruiting as the current school year ends. So think about when you will start recruiting and how you can begin to do so earlier to help best prepare your ministry for the fall.

2. Think outside the box.

When it comes to who you recruit, how you recruit, and where you recruit from, try to think creatively and in ways you haven’t before. I have found that when I recruit I can fall into doing the same thing over and over again. Bulletin announcements, cold calls, asking leaders to talk to their friends, and asking people who used to volunteer. But this year I decided to try something different: I reached out directly to parents.

This may be something you already do, but for me it was my first time doing it in a new way. We send a newsletter out once a month and this month’s almost solely focused on volunteer needs with the hope that parents will see it and consider jumping in. My point with this is to encourage you to try something new and different. Shake up how you have done recruiting in the past. Ask other youth workers what they do. Try something new and see if it provides you with a new recruit or multiple volunteers.

3. Consider changing things up.

I think for many people it is easy to get stuck in habits and rhythms. These aren’t necessarily bad things but they can hamper us, especially if they aren’t providing the necessary volunteers that we need. What we need to do is the be creative as we think about recruitment. If we think of this as an opportunity to creatively try something new, it all of a sudden opens up brand new perspectives on how to recruit.

One of the things we have done out of necessity is think through whether our staff team needs to do all the things we have traditionally done, or if we can empower volunteers to take over those roles. That means creating new positions and leadership opportunities, offering additional training, and identifying new leaders. But the benefit of having leaders take ownership and allowing our staff team to flourish far outweighs those additional needs.

What are your best tips for recruiting new volunteers?

5 Tips for Fundraising

This past weekend we hosted our annual fundraiser for our student ministry summer trip. But due to the effects of the pandemic, this fundraiser looked nothing like those that came before.

Prior to my tenure at the church the student ministry department would host something called “Dinner and a Show.” It was exactly what it sounds like: a fancy dinner with a full performance by students that took more than three hours to host. We eventually moved away from that fundraiser and began to host a brunch on a Sunday morning to raise funds. In 2019 we hosted our biggest brunch to date, and we raised the highest amount we had ever raised. It was awesome, and we were so excited for the future success of our fundraisers and what that would mean for getting students to camps and retreats.

But then 2020 hit and we cancelled all trips and our fundraising was put on hold. At the beginning of this year we were given the opportunity to go to a local camp over the summer, and we were told we could seek to raise funds. But, there were some conditions: no food, social distancing must be adhered to, masks must be worn, and we would need to radically change what we had done in the past.

As I understood the rationale and purpose behind the guidelines and promised to adhere to them, there were hundreds of questions in my mind about how we would succeed in fundraising. My heart ached as I thought about the negative ways not having our traditional fundraiser would impact students who were in financial need. I questioned whether people would actually give if there was no food or opportunity for them to engage in the ways they had before. But as I prayed and sought out how to host a fundraiser, I began to see fundraising in a new light. Fundraising isn’t just about bringing in needed funds, but it is also an opportunity to engage the whole church body in inter-generational discipleship, to have our students serve, to bring people together for the Gospel, and to help the body of Christ grow and mature.

Today, I want to share with you five things to remember as you seek to have a successful fundraiser. These may seem completely opposite of what we have always thought fundraising to be, but I want to ask you to hear me out. And to consider these tips and think through the heart, rationale, and purpose of fundraising as it pertains to our students and ministries.

1. Fundraising is not the priority.

This may sound counter-intuitive, but it’s the truth. The more I searched my heart on seeking to understand the why behind fundraisers, the more I became convinced the purpose of fundraising shouldn’t solely be about obtaining money necessary for the cost of trips. It is bigger than that! These trips that we are raising funds for should be focused on helping our students grow in their relationship with Jesus, and because of that, these fundraisers should be opportunities to help stretch and grow our students. There should be opportunities for students to step up and step out. They should be ready to share the Gospel if needed. They should be focused on leading and being advocates for the kingdom of Heaven.

I was also faced with the reality that there are some within our church who cannot support these trips financially, but they are more than willing to pray consistently for our students. So we focused our attention not on raising funds, but raising support. We shared with our church that we would cherish their support in whatever way they would be willing to give it, whether financial or spiritual, and the church responded in wonderful ways and provided for our students.

2. Allow students to serve in some capacity.

Part of helping students understand the value, purpose, and meaning of a fundraiser and going on trips is giving them the opportunity to have skin in the game. Gen Z loves to take an active role in helping others and they love to actually put action to the words they believe. So allow them to serve in a variety of ways at your fundraiser. This may include you giving additional time to walk through training with your students, but it will pay off in the end as students actually begin to take the lead on serving. We have had students serve as ushers and greeters, students have helped in set up and tear down, they did announcements in front of the church, they shared their stories, they have served food, had conversations with people, and contributed in a variety of other ways. When they do this they understand that there is so much that goes into planning and leading a trip and because of this, they value the time they have on the trip all the more. So allow them to flourish and grow as they serve.

3. Find ways to involve the body of Christ.

This should be a part of not only our fundraisers but our ministries overall. We should seek to incorporate the church as a whole and not operate in a silo. We should seek to build bridges through inter-generational opportunities and witness the body of Christ truly function as a body. Part of getting our students involved in serving is that it allows them to see that they are an intricate part of the church, and part of getting the church involved is allowing students to understand that the church sees them as a needed part of the body. When the body of Christ is brought into the thought and purpose of what is happening within any ministry, they rally to support it and will become a vital part of your team. Seek to bring parents, volunteers, and others into fundraising opportunities in any way that you can, and encourage your students to walk with them and lead outward together.

4. Highlight the purpose, rationale, and effect of trips in the lives of students.

One of my favorite things to do during fundraising is to have students share with the church. Our student ministry actually interviews students on stage during the services and asks them questions like:

  • Why are you going on this trip?
  • How have trips with our program impacted you?
  • How have trips helped your relationship with Jesus grow?
  • Why are trips like this one important for students?
  • What would you say to students who haven’t gone on trips about why they should?

I am always blown away by the responses I have gotten. This year I had a senior say that trips like this allowed him to grow close to Jesus and showed him the importance of pouring into younger students. I had another student who proclaimed that trips like this allowed him to grow closer to his leaders who had discipled him and helped him become a better man and a better Christian. When the church body hears this, it allows them to see the necessity and effectiveness of these trips, and moves them toward giving.

5. Focus on inter-generational community.

This is a piece that I have grown to more deeply understand and appreciate during my time in ministry. We must help our churches to see that students are not the future of our church, but are a current and vital part of the church now. There is already a growing rift between generations and it is only deepening as people refuse to listen, honor, and walk with one another. The church cannot be a place where this is allowed to happen. Instead we must be a beacon of hope and change for our people.

I would encourage you to help your students see the value of working with other generations. Help them to see that while other generations may not reciprocate, that does not mean they cease trying to work together. Instead it should ignite a fire to push your students to step up and lead differently and lead well. If you think about it, we are already engaging in inter-generational discipleship as we have leaders of all different ages leading our students. What we are seeking to do is replicate that within the body of Christ holistically. Seize the opportunity to cast that vision at your fundraisers and allow your students to help create change within the church of which they are an important part.

Helping Families Win: Resources [Part 2]

Last week we shared some digital resources we believe would be helpful for families. Today, I want to spend a little bit of time looking at some books I find beneficial for a variety of topics families are dealing with. These books are not all encompassing, but I believe they will provide helpful insight and guidance for families, and prayerfully strengthen the relationships between parents and students. There are also far too many books to list in a singular post, so I will be doing a follow up to this post with additional books that I have found helpful.

Living in a Gray World – A Christian Teen’s Guide to Understanding Homosexuality

This is a super helpful book from Preston Sprinkle that seeks to provide insight and understanding for the questions many students (and adults) are asking about homosexuality. This is an easy read that is filled with grace, compassion, understanding, and biblical truth. Sprinkle handles everything from questions we may have, to what the reader should do if they might be gay, to what the Bible say about homosexuality. If this isn’t a topic your family is thinking or talking through, I would still highly recommend reading this book to gain insight and understanding into a topic that is very big part of our world.

It’s Not Too Late – The Essential Part You play in Shaping Your Teen’s Faith

Dan Dupee put together this book to encourage parents who may feel like they don’t know what they are doing when it comes to shepherding and guiding their children. It is an honest and raw book that utilizes sociological research and Scripture to help you navigate the realities of development in your children and to give you tangible ways to engage and pour into them. One of the big things that Dupee will focus on is the reality that students are not removed from your care and influence once they enter middle school, high school, or college. The way you engage may look different but you can continue to engage and disciple them at those points.

If I had a Parenting Do Over – 7 Vital Changes I’d Make

Jonathan McKee is a widely respected youth culture expert, speaker, and author who loves to provide resources for parents, families, and youth workers. The purpose of this book is to encourage and challenge parents to grow and pour into their children. Jonathan offers honest insight into the realities of parenting and mistakes he has made in order to provide wisdom and helpful tools for parents navigating caring for and discipling their students. He provides helpful actions, thoughts, and insights to give parents a place to breathe, acknowledge, and look to grow as they shepherd their students. This book also has a free seven week curriculum designed for small groups of parents to walk through that is amazingly helpful and beneficial.

Understanding Your Teen – Shaping their Character, Facing their Realities

Dr. Jim Burns put together a fantastic book to help parents (and really anyone working with young people) understand and care for their students. This book is extremely practical and offers insight into how to parent well and how to help develop your student in maturity and faith, all while understanding the realities that students are navigating in a changing culture. In the first part of his book, Burns provides parents with insight into understanding their student and gives practical ways to think through and talk about issues that students are facing. Burns provides helpful thought into how to have healthy media boundaries, developing student’s faith, teaching healthy sexuality, and much more. The second part of Burns’ book talks through issues and problems that students are facing and then gives helpful thoughts and solutions for parents to consider as they navigate these topics. Some of the topics that are covered include eating disorders, bullying and cyberbullying, self-harm, abuse, depression, and much more.

52 Ways to Connect with Your Smartphone Obsessed Kid – How to Engage with Kids Who Can’t Seem to Pry Their Eyes from Their Devices!

Jonathan McKee has multiple books and resources that are amazingly helpful, and this is one of his books that every parent and youth worker should read. The focus of this book is to help students move from being tech dependent to tech enabled. Jonathan wants to help parents help their students by seeing that the technology they have should not own or command them, but instead is a resource and a tool meant to be utilized appropriately. Jonathan’s easy-to-read style of writing offers the reader 52 ideas on how to proactively engage your student that brings creative advice and ideas to the table and allows for the uniqueness of each student to help parents think about how to engage with them. There are also questions to ponder at the end of each idea, that would be very helpful to simply begin fostering a conversation with your student.

Shepherding a Child’s Heart

This is a wonderful resource to give to families with children at any age. Tedd Tripp offers two sections in this book: Foundations of Biblical Childrearing and Shepherding Through the Stages of Childhood. Tripp first offers the basic biblical principles that all parents need and then begins to look at how to formulate them into a shepherding plan as you love and care for your student. Tripp uses the shepherding metaphor often in his book because he believes that parenting is more than just a task or a developmental procedure. He believes it to truly be about shepherding and cultivating the heart of your children because focusing on the heart focuses on the true aspect of who we are.

The Quick-Reference Guide to Counseling Teenagers – 40 Topics, Spiritual Insights & Easy-to-Use Action Steps

Doctors Tim Clinton and Chap Clark have put together an amazing resource when it comes to counseling students. This book offers much insight into a wide range of topics including bullying, adoption, eating disorders, self-harm, pornography, abuse, depression, trauma, God’s will, and much more. They present each topic by first using a couple of portraits or case studies, then they give clarity to definitions and key thoughts to help us understand what is actually being talked about. They provide helpful questions in the assessment interview, they offer tips for wise counsel, action steps, biblical insights, a prayer starter, and additional resources. Now it should be said that I am not advocating for parents to become clinical counselors through the use of this book. Instead, I believe that this book offers helpful insight and knowledge to parents, and gives them practical questions and biblical understanding of the issues at hand. With that understanding, this book will empower and enable parents to have a more centered and biblically grounded conversation about whatever topic their student is walking through. It also will help give parents a better understanding through their student’s responses on whether they should seek additional counseling through a trained and qualified counselor.

How to Co-Lead Well

Many of us have more than one leader working in our student ministries. Whether it is you and your spouse or you have dozens of youth leaders at your disposal, learning how to co-lead is highly important. In many of our ministry settings we must have two leaders for accountability and legal purposes. Whatever the reason may be that you have multiple leaders, co-leading (leading with another leader) is something we must learn to do well in order to have a successful ministry.

In order to lead well with another person, there are certain aspects that we need to consider and implement. Today, we want to examine a few of those and hopefully give you relevant and helpful ways to lead well together.

Communication

Part of leading well with others involves communication. Whether you are talking with your co-leader for a small group or the three others who are helping facilitate your gathering, communication will help everyone be on the same page, it will instill value and worth, and it will help everyone lead better. So communicate with one another before the program or group time. Communicate about where you see the discussion going, communicate about arrival times, or even about conversations you have had with the students in your group. The more communication there is, the better off you all will be as leaders because it helps you work as a team.

Game Plan Together

Another aspect of communication is planning with one another. As you lead with others you should work collectively to come up with a plan as to how you see things going. This could involve who will handle what aspects of a small or large group, it could involve who will facilitate discussion, or it could even be who will speak with a student about what they shared or did. Game planning together will bring a cohesiveness to your group and allow for all leaders to have a role in what is happening. Planning together will allow for each leader to feel validated and provide everyone with a clear direction for your group.

Know Your Strengths and Weaknesses

Working with others can be challenging at times and I believe part of this is because of our own weaknesses and strengths. Where we have a strength we see other’s weaknesses, and where we have a weakness we become frustrated or bitter because of someone else’s strengths. But that shouldn’t be our focus. Instead of fixating on how great we are or where there are missteps, we should look at what each person brings to the table and use them to collectively help our students grow. A weakness is only a weakness if we allow it to be. If you struggle with asking open ended questions but your co-leader excels at it, don’t get upset they are asking the questions. Maybe lean into your strength which could be one-on-one discipleship. Both are valid and beneficial, and when used together by a team it brings greatness to what you are doing. So communicate about your strengths and weaknesses with your co-leader(s) and look for ways to excel together.

Be for One Another

This is something that we all need to be mindful of, especially as we lead together. Leaders may not always agree, but it is important to show unity. It is important to not chop someone at the knees if they misspeak about a passage of Scripture and it is equally important to not bad mouth your co-leader if they are late to group. Speaking positively about other leaders not only instills confidence in your students for their leaders, it also allows you and your co-leader to grow closer together. This isn’t dismissing behavior that is problematic but instead allowing for you two to be for one another and supportive of each other. If a problem does arise, the best way to handle it is away from the students.

Be Honest with Each Other

Being honest is hugely important when it comes to leading with others. In both good and difficult times, honesty will help your relationship with your fellow leaders. If you are frustrated by something that happened, share it in love and look to be honest about the situation. If you need help or are running late, be honest about it. Be honest if you weren’t able to prepare as much as you would have liked. This allows for transparency and opportunities for growth and for truth to be spoken. It will also allow for frustrations to be alleviated and for you relationship to be built upon trust.

Questions to Ask Yourself Before Volunteering in Student Ministry

In several months the school year will be over, summer ministry activities will be starting, and youth leaders will be gearing up for a new school year–which always includes the search for new volunteers. If you’ve considered jumping in as a student ministry volunteer, now is the perfect time to evaluate if this is the role for you.

It can be hard to discern where we should serve, whether we’re “called” to a particular role, or how to prioritize our ministry involvement. But these are important things to work through before stepping into student ministry. There will always be things you can learn only through involvement, but there are also essential things to ask before you get there.

Today I’m outlining a few top questions that I would encourage potential volunteers to ask themselves before jumping into student ministry. These can also be helpful questions to use as a personal evaluation for anyone already serving. If you want to use this post for evaluation purposes, I recommend answering the questions and reading only the first paragraph under each heading before you read the remaining paragraphs. This will help you evaluate your honest answers.

Ask: Why do I want to serve in student ministry?

Let’s start simple: why do you think you want to serve? Be brutally honest as you answer this question because often your motives will reveal your heart. List as many reasons for serving as you can think of.

If most of your reasons start with you–like what you want to get out of it, or what you think you can offer to students–it might be good to press pause and take a step back. In as much as you will get something out of volunteering and you might bring a lot to the table, these should be secondary, not primary motivations. Student ministry is about sacrificially serving Jesus and the students, about being there for them, showing up consistently, and having the fortitude to dig in when the going gets tough.

If you step in with self-centered motives, you will end up disappointed, and you will most likely struggle in your role. You may find yourself comparing and competing with other leaders, looking for student affirmation, and feeling rapid burn-out when you don’t get it. On the flip side, if your motives are oriented toward serving the Lord first, you will look to Him to define your success and give you strength in the hard times. And if you put the students and their needs ahead of your own, you will have a better perspective on your purpose in student ministry.

Remember: It’s not wrong to feel like God has gifted you in this area, and that you have special gifts you would like to use to serve students. Just because it may feel like a motive is selfish doesn’t mean God can’t and won’t use it. Actively seek to give your gifts and desires back to Him.

Ask: How do I honestly feel about and view students?

If you were to be completely honest on how you feel about middle school and/or high school students, what would you say? When you see them at church or out in your community, how do you view them and what do you think about them?

How you feel about students deep down will manifest itself as you serve in student ministry. If you find them annoying, obnoxious, entitled, or a lost cause, those views will eventually manifest themselves. You can’t fake it with students.

If students frustrate you, ask God to change your heart and help you see them the way He does. Allow time for God to break your heart for students before you jump in and serve. Keep in mind that if you find one age group challenging (i.e.

Remember: Even if you view students with love and respect, your heart toward them will still be tested. Student ministry can be very challenging, and there will be times you don’t want to love students. In the moments when you feel incapable of love, look to God for strength and direction. Only He can sustain you through difficult seasons.

Ask: What priority level can I give student ministry?

Some additional questions to answer include: How many ministries/extra activities am I involved in and how much time do they take? How much time am I able to commit to student ministry? On a scale of 1-10, how important is student ministry verses the other activities I’m involved in? To help you answer some of these, you might need to first talk to whoever is over the student ministry to get an idea of how much time you will need to commit each week.

The bottom line is that student ministry often requires being a top-tier priority. You will discover that it doesn’t just require a couple of hours each week. To truly invest in the lives of students, you will need to interact and spend consistent, regular time with them. This is not to say that you can’t have a life or other involvement outside of student ministry, but at times other things may need to take a back seat to your role as a youth leader.

If you commit to numerous ministries and activities, eventually one area will suffer. If you’re already serving in several large roles, it may not be a good time to get involved in student ministry. It’s important to know that more isn’t always better. Sometimes keeping your commitments minimal will help you have time, energy, and space for those who desperately need you.

Remember: Over-commitment in life is not sustainable long-term. This also includes over-commitment in student ministry. Make sure to create space in your life for spiritual in-flow outside of student ministry. This can include time with family and friends, a Bible study with peers, and regular time in prayer and the Word.

Ask: What am I hoping to get out of serving in student ministry?

In a way we touched on this in the first question, but let’s dig a little deeper. What are you hoping will be the end result of your time volunteering in student ministry? Do you have a certain vision or goal for your involvement? What are you hoping will come out of your time investing in students?

This is a way to assess your true motives, to ask the tough questions, and seek God for the answers. It’s hard to always have pure motives all of the time, but if your motives are rooted in things like affirmation, recognition, or building a brand, it may be time to do some heart work outside of student ministry.

The truth is that student ministry isn’t about any of us; it is about God, His mission, and being a willing part of what He is doing. If your hope is to see and join in what He is doing in the lives of students, then you are on a good track. Remember that at the end of it all, it won’t be about you or what you did or didn’t do (so in that, don’t worry about perceived failure), it will be about God and what He did.

Remember: If you step into student ministry and see change and growth in your own life, it doesn’t mean that you’ve made it all about you. God will use the crucible of service to refine and shape you, especially in the moments that feel like failure. If He has called you to student ministry, He will use you and He will equip you for the work. Continue seeking Him, in the triumphs and the setbacks.

Ask: What do I have to offer?

Ask this question genuinely, not pridefully. What are things unique to you that you can bring to the table? What are things you can offer to the ministry? What passions can you share with younger generations?

The truth is that God has gifted all of us for service in His kingdom, and I think we can miss what we have been given if we don’t identify it and seek to use it. It may feel awkward to list these things, but they can help you determine if student ministry is the place for you.

If you do decide to step into student ministry, look for specific areas where you can implement your skills and passions. If you love to teach or speak, look into opportunities to share with the group. If you are a musician, look into leading and teaching students. If you enjoy baking, bring sweets and treats to share with the group. If you have a passion for social justice, look for ways to empower and equip students with the same passion.

Remember: Don’t disqualify yourself for trivial reasons. If you think you’re too old, know that inter-generational relationships are crucial to the life and growth of the church. If you think you’re too out of touch, ask genuine questions and let the students teach you. If you think you’re ill-equipped, ask God to empower and embolden you. And if you feel scared, remember that students are people too, and they desperately need the love of Jesus.

If you’re still uncertain…

It may be time to set up an appointment with the pastor or student ministry leader. Be open about your desires and concerns, and let them ask you questions. They can help you discern if student ministries is the place for you. You may also be able to sit in on one or two nights of youth group to get a feel for the ministry and what you would be doing. Sometimes it takes jumping in fully and committing to a year to see if student ministry is where you feel called to serve. Remember to be honest and to be open to where God might lead you.

5 Ways to Improve Volunteer Communication

Let’s face it: without a team of volunteers it is exceptionally hard to run a student ministry. It gets harder still if that team doesn’t know the plan.

I have often found that a team functions best when there is a clear plan and goal because of clear communication. If I am being honest I am not always the best communicator when it comes to planning and sharing what is happening.

This is a place I am constantly looking to grow in, and as such I wanted to share with you a few ways to enhance communication with your team. I have had to learn to do these things and honestly have learned a lot through mistakes. Most of these are digital, but some are face-to-face as well because both are extremely important.

Ask your team how they communicate.

I have a questionnaire I ask my leaders to fill out (both new and returning leaders) and I ask for their preferred means of communication. This allows me to see how they communicate and be able to utilize the best forum. It also highlights any issues that may develop if someone doesn’t use a certain method. Some of my leaders only use WhatsApp and because it is only a couple of people, I make the effort to communicate with them there if I text the rest of the team.

Choose your medium and use it.

As youth workers we are forever surrounded by new and different ways of communicating. But if we continue to switch it up on our teams, they will never know where look. I had a volunteer during my first year at church who would respond to my emails via text. It wasn’t ideal because when I would be looking for information from them, I wouldn’t know where to go. I finally sat down and made it clear that the main way I communicate is email for standard youth group stuff. If it is an emergency or a day-of change it would be via text or phone.

My teams know this is the standard case, and as such they are expecting my communications via these platforms. It has helped to streamline our communication and works well for sharing information. Choose whichever way is best for you, and stick with it. If you do change it, communicate that to your team.

Be consistent.

A big thing I have learned is that when we say we are going to do something, we need to do it. Don’t promise to communicate via email and then switch to text. Doing this not only confuses leaders and doesn’t communicate well, it also creates a lack of trust in what you are doing. Be consistent, and if change needs to happen, bring your team in before you make the change.

Communicate early.

We plan out our schedule a year at a time. Typically this is during late spring and we are able to get that information out to leaders before the start of the new school year. They see when we have events, trips, retreats, and we also note when we do not have youth group. This allows our leaders to prepare for the year and know what is coming; there are no surprises.

I also make an effort to get our small group resources and plans out to leaders at least 24 hours ahead of youth group so they can prepare for the evening. I send the schedule, notes, and the questions for small groups so leaders know what is happening, what is expected, and they have the ability to mentally and spiritually prepare for the next day.

Communicate in person.

Much of what has been shared has been about digital communication, but we cannot overstate the value of face-to-face communication. Those are the moments when you get to truly shepherd and care for your people, and you get to cast vision and passion for the ministry as well. Take time to communicate clearly, answer questions, and receive feedback. We should never undervalue our leaders and must always seek to be with and for them.