Quick Tip: Caring for Leaders

Have you ever had a leader experience loss? How did you respond? Has a leader on your team ever had a surgery or prolonged illness? Was there a celebratory moment like a college or graduate school graduation? Has there been a birth or adoption within your community?

When it comes to caring for our people, we need to practice intentional community and support for them. Often we can default to monetary care, and while that can be a part of caring well, we can and should be thinking about different opportunities to love and support our community. But what are some additional ways to care well during difficult or celebratory moments?

  1. Send a personal handwritten note or card.
  2. Pray with and for the individual.
  3. Visit with them and make sure you have allotted the appropriate amount of time to visit.
  4. Send flowers and/or balloons.
  5. Send a gift card to your local supermarket or DoorDash to help provide meals.
  6. Start a meal train and bring a meal by yourself.
  7. Encourage your youth group to write cards to the individual.
  8. Put together a gift basket with contributions from your leaders and/or youth group.
  9. Help out with any service projects around the home and encourage your students to help with these.
  10. Check in and see if they need help with childcare or pet sitting.
  11. Ask families to contribute to any of the above ideas.

These aren’t meant to be a catch all, but instead to challenge us to think creatively when it comes to caring well for our people. We want them to know they are seen, loved, and missed and these are just some options that help us to think outside of our normal ways of doing things.

Quick Tip: Build Authentic Friendships

Ministry is lonely. There’s no denying it. Depending on your context and setting, it may be felt in substantially larger ways.

In my context it seems like everyone knows me because of my job. It’s always, “Hi, Nick” in the supermarket or “Hello, pastor” at the gas station. The reality is that it’s often hard to build authentic friendships in my context because I’m always seen as a “pastor” rather than just another person trying to follow Jesus and be authentic with others.

If I’m honest, that reality actually led me to keep authentic friendships at arms length for a very long time, which led to increased loneliness that grew exponentially during the global pandemic. That became the tipping point for me and I realized I truly needed to have authentic friendships in order to continue to not just make it through life but also to thrive.

That meant I needed to take a risk and realize that I would have to open myself up to others and deal with past hurt from other friendships. In doing so, I had to identify that not every friendship will work out, nor will every friend hurt me like some had in the past. If you’ve been hurt or betrayed, you know just how difficult it is to open yourself up again, and the entire premise of this article probably leaves you feeling anxious and unsure.

I get it. Even as I write this, I can’t help but rehash past friendships that left me hurt and broken. But can I offer you some hope? There are authentic and meaningful friendships that exist and can offer the healing, community, and depth that we all need.

Let me also encourage you to look for friendships outside of your normal contexts. Yes, look within your communities and church, but recognize you may need to look elsewhere. Sometimes you need a safe place to process and be honest about work and what is happening within that context.

Consider reaching out to other youth workers in your community. Join a cohort. Find networks in your area. Utilize social media groups to find ways to connect with others. Consider reaching out to friends from college. Connect with coaching organizations and see if they have networks. Talk to former youth pastors and see if they could be mentors and friends. Reach out to your denomination (if you’re a part of one) and ask about connection opportunities. The broader your target, the more potential you have to find something that works.

Yes, there is risk with this but I can promise you the reward is great. I’ve been able to build lasting friendships from cohorts, college, and within our church community. All of which have been of great benefit to me and I am forever grateful.

Let me encourage and challenge you to seek out friendships that allow you and the other person(s) to truly be authentic and be for one another. Take a risk and be willing to trust others. You’ll be the better for it.

Quick Tip: Work Within Your Ministry’s Seasons

How does your youth group function year round? Does your calendar primarily look the same month in and month out? Are there rest periods or seasons where ministry slows? Is your attendance the same throughout the year?

As we approach the end of the school year, our student ministry at our church shifts its programming model to a more laidback style because we live in and serve a tourist town. What that means for us is lower attendance during the summer due to locals retreating on trips and vacations as tourists come in.

And you may ask yourself, “What about the tourists, don’t you want to have something for them as well?” The truth of the matter is that for all the tourists who visit Hershey, Pennsylvania, very few are looking for a church to attend on a Sunday or youth programming on a Wednesday evening.

It isn’t that we don’t care, it’s that we shift our model to address the realities of our community and best minister to our people when they are present. We host monthly large group gatherings that are highly relational and community focused. We intentionally encourage small groups to gather and share life together. Our staff team is highly visible and building relationships on Sundays.

The truth of the matter is this: each of the communities we serve in have ministry seasons and they all will look different. If your students are around the entire year, you may continue with programming straight through. If summer is a down time, you may switch up how programming looks. If you take trips during spring break, then your programming will look different.

For each of us, we need to look at the communities we serve and ask how our ministry is and should be functioning. We also need to consider other aspects like our volunteers and protecting seasons of rest and refreshment. There are additional pieces like thinking through the taxing role that running full programming yearlong will take on your facilities team. And there are many other questions we can ask depending on what out context looks like.

What we need to consider is how our ministry looks throughout the year, and what programming looks like in each season. When we step back and take an honest assessment, it allows us the opportunity to consider new and exciting ways of facilitating our ministries to best care for and reach all the students we are serving.

Quick Tip: Gift Bags for Seniors

Are you stressing trying to find a gift for your graduating seniors? Have you ever felt the tension that simply gifting a book isn’t enough? Have your gifts seemingly fell flat before?

Believe me, I’ve been there. I’ve always wanted to be intentional with the gifts we give and I never want our graduates to feel like the gift they are given are an afterthought. Over the years we have been able to rethink and refresh our gifts for seniors and we have found that a thoughtful and fun gift bag is the way to go.

Here’s what we do. We purchase them a book; we add in fun candy; and we get little confetti poppers, glow stick bracelets, a couple of different fidgets, multiple cards, and other fun items like graduation capped rubber ducks. Now here’s the thing: no one thing makes this bag special, but all of these items together make this gift remarkable and personal for our students.

When we give them their gift bag it isn’t a simple “here’s your graduation gift,” but an intentional moment of explaining the “why” behind each item. We explain why we got them the book and its purpose. We highlight the different cards in their bags: one is from our ministry, one is from our church staff, and the final one is a letter of commissioning and promise that is on our church letterhead. We talk about the different fun gifts and how graduation is a celebratory moment and deserving of fun.

The purpose of these gift bags is to show the intentionality, relational rapport, care, and commissioning of our seniors. That means that our gift bags change a little each year as each of our senior classes are unique and different. What doesn’t change is the reality that these gift bags are special and help make this a memorable moment for each of our graduates.

I will also say this: making gift bags can and will vary from ministry to ministry. Each ministry’s budget will dictate what can go into these bags but it doesn’t dictate the thought. Dollar stores, Amazon, and personal touches can help make these gifts fun and intentional. So don’t be hindered by your budget; instead embrace it and lean into making the most of it as you take intentional steps with the gift bags.

Quick Tip: Be Flexible

Have you ever had to call an audible during programming? Have things ever not gone according to plan? Has life changed how things were going to go on a Sunday morning?

One of the things we train our volunteers and students (especially those going on summer trips) on is being flexible. Life happens. Schedules change and evolve. Things don’t go according to plan.

But what about for you? What I’ve come to realize about myself is that I can preach flexibility until I’m blue in the face but practicing it personally is difficult for me. If I build out a schedule for youth group, I want to follow it. If there’s a plan, I want to make sure we see it through to completion.

But what about when our people need us? What about the student who shows up to youth group hurting and needs more than a quick chat to navigate a difficult circumstance? Or when things don’t go according to plan because of a power outage, computer crash, or another unforeseen circumstance?

I’m not advocating for not having a plan, but instead to hold things loosely. Be available when someone needs you even if that means changes to programming. Sit with people longer even if it means not being a part of the normal activities.

Allow for there to be a contingency if things don’t go as planned. And remember that we are simply vessels that Christ uses to accomplish His plan. It doesn’t start or end with us, we are simply along for the ride.

Step back and allow the Spirit to be at work and hold everything with open hands knowing that God’s plan is greater than ours. Allow Him to use you and be flexible with the changes, shifts, and unknowns that can and will come up in ministry.

Quick Tip: Giving Students Ownership

We are preparing for a special immersive experience the week before Easter for our student ministry. Our church creates a walkthrough Easter Experience that leads people through a wonderful interactive engagement with the story of Easter and the profound truths of the Gospel.

We have tried a few times to provide opportunities for our students to walk through the experience, but they haven’t worked out for a variety of reasons. This year we think we have it figured out: we are creating interactive stations and opportunities for our students to engage with what they learned alongside of their small groups.

One of the elements we are seeking to incorporate into this evening is a time of musical worship. But here’s the problem: my staff team isn’t equipped or gifted in leading worship. So we were faced with a conundrum: who will lead this?

Our worship teams are extremely busy with Easter, so we couldn’t ask them. Most people we talked to were busy that week. Then it hit us; we have students who are gifted musicians, so why not give them the opportunity? We talked to a handful of students and they jumped at the opportunity to serve and lead their peers in this way.

You want to know what happened in that moment? I was reminded that when students are given the opportunity, they will rise to the occasion. When presented with the ability to lead and disciple their peers our students are ready, willing, and capable to stand up and lead as disciples of Jesus.

Students are powerhouses when you give them the opportunity. Yes, they are young and immature. Yes, this may cause you a bit more work and require flexibility. And yes, at times they will fail. But how is this different from anyone else, including ourselves?

When given the opportunity, and with the right guidance, students can and will rise to the occasion. My encouragement today is simply this: give them ownership. Give them a chance.

When you afford students the opportunity to own their youth group you are generating excitement, buy-in, and unity for your ministry. Students who can take a leadership role will invite their peers. They will seek to help others be a part of your vision, mission, and values. And they will develop into the leaders you have been longing for.

This isn’t a mindset for a certain type or size of student ministry. This is an opportunity and a calling to invest in the next generation in tangible ways. This can and will look different from ministry to ministry, but we must ask ourselves if we are doing this.

Are we developing our students into leaders and providing them with ownership of our ministries? When we do this, we had better be ready, because I can promise you one thing for certain: God will move in and through these students and we will see them shake the world for His kingdom.

Quick Tip: Preparing Your Budget

Depending how your church’s fiscal calendar works, you may be in the early stages of preparing your budget for the next year. Our church just walked through preliminary budget conversations with each ministry and this year we had to start from scratch and account for each budget line.

This may sound tedious and scary, but our team has done well at tracking our budget and accounting for all of our expenses over the past few years so building from the ground up was not as difficult as it may seem. But when we heard that we had to account for everything and substantiate why it was needed for the ministry, it caused us to pause and wonder if budgets were going to be cut.

Typically budget meetings, especially for youth ministries, can be scary because we wonder if leadership will understand why we need to buy dozens of pool noodles, seemingly unlimited boxes of Cheetos, and hundreds of water balloons. But we promise, these are all absolutely necessary.

Kidding aside, these moments can feel super scary because there is a reason and rationale for why we ask for our budget, and we worry that if it’s cut our students and families will feel the fallout and affects. So how do we try to keep that from happening? Is there a way we can still maintain our budgets and find a way to help leadership see the necessity of what we are asking?

Well, today I want to share a couple quick tips that I have utilized when preparing a budget submission or conversation.

First, know why you’re asking for what your budget reflects.

Sometimes you’ll get asked questions about why certain line items are there or why exactly you’re requesting a certain amount for a budget line. Knowing your answers and being able to confidently share your reasoning will help to explain your budget and your rationale.

Second, aim high and shoot low.

My encouragement is to go into these meetings with a budget that you would dream of having. Don’t go in being greedy, but go in asking for what you’d dream of having for student ministries. In the same moment, go in with a realistic expectation as well. You may not be able to purchase three 9 Square sets, but you may be able to get one. That’s an example of aiming high, but knowing that the realities may be different.

Third, be a good steward of your current and next budget.

Part of being a leader in a ministry is practicing good stewardship. We need to appropriately manage the funds that God has provided us with through His church, and that means we need to steward our current and future budgets well.

We shouldn’t spend frivolously or haphazardly, but instead should honor our budget and let that be reflected in how we spend it. This may mean that questions or statements may come like, “You did okay with less last year,” but this is where we can explain why we are asking for something different this year.

Lastly, focus on what matters.

I am not saying to simply focus on what matters when you create your budget but also if your budget isn’t approved for what you wanted. When you build your budget for your ministry always do so with your vision and the Gospel in mind as you seek to love and care for your students and families. And should your budget not get approved or be altered, remember that budgets aren’t ultimate. Yes, they allow for us to do things and to scale the ministry, but they don’t allow us or keep us from fulfilling the calling God has placed on our lives.

Seek to work within the context and budget that has been stewarded to you and as you do that, remember that everything you have is a gift from God to you. With this frame of reference, our perspective and understanding of utilizing our budget is shaped differently and helps us to seek to honor God in all aspects of our careers.

Quick Tip: Share the Stage

I’ll be honest, I love teaching, speaking, and preaching. It’s one of the areas I think God has gifted me in and I love to help others learn about Jesus, the Bible, and the practical applications and truths it has for our lives.

But here’s the thing: because I love it so much there have been moments where I wasn’t always willing—whether consciously or subconsciously—to share that space. That’s hard to admit because I know it shut out people who not only wanted to teach, but were exceptionally gifted communicators who should be teaching.

There are people in our churches whom God has gifted with the ability to teach and speak, and we should honor them and God by affording them the opportunity to do so. We can look at all the excuses and try to rationalize away why they shouldn’t (no formal training, no degree, not a pastor, etc.). But who are we to stand in the way of who God has gifted and called?

Instead, we need to help develop and nurture our people so the body of Christ can be what it is meant to be. We need to help ensure a variety of voices are heard, different people of different backgrounds are invited to speak. We need to provide opportunities for people with different perspectives to share with our congregants. These moments allow our students to learn and grow in different ways, through different mediums, offered by unique and different voices.

A word of insight as it relates to sharing the stage: we shouldn’t just haphazardly allow for anyone to speak, but instead we should help shape and prepare people for those moments. We should walk alongside, guide and pour into them, and help them practice, prepare, and debrief. These intentional moments allow us to pour into and lovingly shepherd our people to use their gifts and abilities to help the church flourish and grow.

So from one person who loves to teach and preach to another, share the stage. Invite new and differing voices in. Create a culture of opportunity and allow for your students to hear and learn through the broader body of Christ.

Quick Tip: Knowing When to Cancel Programming

Have you ever had to wrestle with knowing when to cancel programming or even if you should? I’ve worked in a variety of church settings with different perspectives and rationales on this topic. Some advocated for never cancelling, some had specific parameters for when you should, and still others put the choice in ministry leaders’ hands.

Today, my desire is to provide you with some perspective for when you should cancel programming. Granted, this must align with your leadership’s guidance and perspective so this may not be as simple as just cancelling programming. It may entail multiple conversations with leadership prior to ever having to cancel. It may also mean trying to find a middle ground.

This post is simply meant to provide a framework for you and to help alleviate some of the guess work that goes along with cancelling. So when should you cancel programming?

When weather is a factor.

Depending where you live this may not be as big of a deal as it may be for others. Living in places that get snow, have hills, and are prone to drastic temperatures swings has left us having to cancel more than once. This isn’t because we are scared of snow, cold, ice, heavy rain and flooding. It’s because we are being intentional in keeping our students, families, and volunteers safe. If safe travel is an issue and if the weather is being uncooperative, it is best to cancel to keep everyone safe.

Lack of volunteers.

This is not to say that if you don’t have volunteers you can’t have programming. But if you don’t have enough to safely run programming and care well for your students, it may be necessary to suspend programming for that day.

When schools cancel classes and/or activities.

A great metric for cancelling is looking at what schools are doing. Did they close for weather? Was there an early dismissal? Are afternoon and evening activities happening? These are key metrics to help determine if you should cancel programming.

When there’s illness going around.

This is one that you need to keep an eye on because depending on the sickness it could spread quickly in your group. Many of us unfortunately learned this during 2020. But if there’s a stomach bug, the flu, Norovirus, Covid, or really any nasty bug it may be advantageous to cancel programming.

We have done this a few times because we had highly contagious bugs going around and rather than potentially add to the spread (and put our immunocompromised people at greater risk) we have opted to cancel.

Around holidays.

We cancel programming around Christmas and Easter because we know many families are extra busy, spending time with loved ones, and traveling. So from a programmatic standpoint it makes sense to cancel our gatherings. This also affords our volunteers and staff time to catch their breath and be with their loved ones on special days.

Culturally specific reasons.

We live and work in a tourist-heavy economy. This means typically during peak tourist season our locals tend to leave because tourists come in, which directly affects our ministry. Because of that we change how we do ministry in the summer months and suspend normal programming for the sake of summer programming.

You may have similar circumstances for spring break or Christmas break. Or maybe your community has different events and activities throughout each year that pull people away from ministry programming. That may be a reason to cancel.

At the end of the day, the safety and care of your people is paramount. You need to make a judgement call and know that in your heart it’s the best decision you could make. It may not always be the right one, but if you make it for the right reasons you have made the best decision possible.

Quick Tip: Don’t Assume

There’s an old adage that says “when you assume, you make an @$$ out of you and me.” To be honest, I said that phrase for a long time because growing up as a young kid in a Christian house it made me giggle. But as I have gotten older, I have come to realize just how true that statement is!

In fact, I would wager that many of you are like me and we have been guilty of doing this in some way, shape, or form in our ministries and churches. We may assume we know a student and what they’re about to say; or we assume emotions, perspectives, and motives of others; or we assume why our leaders, parents, or volunteer did or valued something we disagree with.

Maybe it is just me who’s been guilty of that, but hopefully not. All that to say: learn from my missteps and don’t assume. I think when we assume we don’t just assume motivation or reason, we assume heart posture and that is a scary place to stand. When we start to assume the posture of someone’s heart, we are essentially saying that we deserve the roll of the Holy Spirit and we can determine all things about people.

Assumptions, especially incorrect ones, can lead to tension, stress, animosity, loss of relationships, misguided responses, and much more. Nothing good comes from assumptions about others, especially when the enemy wants to use our misguided assumptions and our own desires to drive wedges and fracture relationships.

So seek to know people and not assume about them. Love well and reflect Jesus rather than jumping to assumptions, which can actually cause us to disrespect others and the very image of God that we are created in.