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Healthy Ways to Disconnect

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Let me ask you a question: when was the last time you took a break? How about a true weekend without work? When was the last time you took a vacation and truly felt relaxed, at peace, and didn’t think about work?

Please understand that I am not trying to cast condemnation or criticism here. I’m in the same boat. For years, I always had my phone next to me and was ready for the next issue to arise. Every time it buzzed I feared what was happening.

It took a good couple of days to breathe and truly enjoy being on vacations. Weekends were rough because I was always thinking about what was to come. It was always hard to shut off my mind after a standard work day let alone after youth group.

Feel like you’re in the same boat? I think for a lot of us in ministry we feel that weight. We feel the complexity of working hard at our jobs and ministering to students, families, and the church, but also the added weight of a deeply personal call to shepherd and care for the people of God.

When you put all those things together they can feel heavy; they are heavy. And if you don’t put appropriate breaks, rhythms, refreshment, and space between those things and your own personal life and spiritual development, you will burn out. You will struggle with anxiety, depression, resentment, bitterness, and more. You will find distance growing between you and your family. Your family will struggle with loving the church because of what they see it doing to you.

And ultimately you will find yourself serving the church of God and not God, Himself; you will create an idol. And yes, even good things can become idols because they are not meant to be the ultimate thing in our lives.

If all of that is true—and believe me it is because I’m proof of it—what do we need to be doing differently? Today, I want to share a handful of practices I have begun to implement in my life that have been extremely helpful in disconnecting.

Bring others in.

If you’re feeling overworked, resentful, burnt out, or if the joy is gone, you need to bring people in. We are crafted for community and so often we go through life alone. Instead, we need to bring others into our lives and share honestly about what is happening.

The sooner you bring people in and are transparent with things, the better equipped you’ll be to heal and disconnect well. By bringing others in, it allows you to have accountability and a network to help you disconnect and establish boundaries.

Be honest about what you’re feeling.

I think when you work in ministry it is easy to mask how you’re feeling and to pretend like you have everything under control. That type of mentality can easily lead to isolation, frustration, and hurt which often times leads us to go through life and ministry alone.

That way of living will not allow you to disconnect because you are tying your personal life and work together in an unhealthy pattern. Instead, we need to be honest with others and ourselves about how we are doing. When we are honest we can begin to move toward growth, healing, and the ability to disconnect more because we are untying our personal and work lives.

Utilize “no phone” policies.

A great way to disconnect is to quite literally disconnect your phone. Turn on do not disturb, turn off notifications, stay off social media, and don’t check emails. If that doesn’t work, then literally turn off of your phone or put it in a different room.

Look, I get it. We need to be available but at the same time there is such a thing as work-life balance and phones don’t always allow us to maintain the proper balance. So practice healthy phone use to keep yourself from being inundated with work.

Take extra days at the beginning and end of your vacation.

Have you ever felt stressed leading up to a vacation as you are trying to button up everything at work? Have you felt like coming home from vacation feels overwhelming as you need to catch up on laundry and food shopping as well as all the emails? Me too!

That’s why Elise and I started to add additional days off to prep for vacation before we go and we have a day or two at home at the back end to readjust to normalcy. Giving yourself breathing room at the front and backend of a vacation allows you to truly rest and relax while you’re away because everything has been handled and can be handled when you return.

Be clear about your boundaries.

This one is key to being able to disconnect. The more transparent you are about your boundaries and the more willing you are to hold to them the more you’ll be able to disconnect.

This isn’t easy in the beginning but I can promise you that it is worth it. Talk about how your days off are actually days off. Be willing to tell people you aren’t checking emails or handling work-related tasks when you aren’t working. The more you talk about and model clear boundaries the more people will begin to respect them and you will be able to disconnect in healthier ways.

I’m not going to say I have mastered this. In fact there are still days and weeks that I feel the weight of ministry. But I can promise you that by putting these habits and rhythms into place you will find yourself in a much better place. Simply taking the initiative and beginning to build these into your life will help you relax and breathe better.

Quick Tip: Recruiting Leaders Early

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How do your volunteer numbers look for this year? Are you full or do you still have some gaps?

What about next year? Have you thought about recruiting leaders yet? Now I know what you’re thinking. Either, “It’s October and the school year just started…why would I be thinking about next year?” or “I haven’t even filled all the gaps this year, so I can’t begin to think about next year.”

I understand both perspectives. In fact this year we have multiple gaps that we are still trying to fill. But in the same breath, I’m also beginning to think about next year and recruiting specifically for our incoming classes of sixth and ninth graders.

Throughout my time serving in ministry I have grown to understand and appreciate the ability to start early on tasks. More importantly, I have seen the blessing of starting volunteer recruitment well before it is needed as it helps to set your ministry up for long term success.

It is the mentality of being proactive instead of reactive. Rather than reacting to not having enough leaders to start off programming, be proactive and recruit early to set your ministry up for success.

In order to do this well, I’d recommend first assessing where you are at for this current academic year and how your current leaders are feeling about returning for the next year. Now I understand that some of your leaders may be surprised by this question but if you are casting the vision of leaders journeying in discipleship-oriented relationships with their students, this will not catch them off guard. Here are some of our recommendations for beginning early recruitment.

Take a temperature check of your current leaders and their status for next year which will then help you to see where you will be to start the next year. Once you know your needs, you can begin to address how to meet them and how quickly to begin the recruitment of more leaders.

Cast vision often. The more you talk about the vision of your ministry and your desire for leaders to journey with students, the greater your retention rate will be. This will help with recruitment as you will, prayerfully, have less leaders to recruit as more of your current leaders buy into the vision and process of discipleship.

Keep a running list of future leaders. I often get responses like, “This year doesn’t work, but talk to me sometime next year.” I’ll be honest: I can be super forgetful, so having a running list of potential leaders helps me to remember who I talked to, when I talked to them, and their responses. That helps shape future conversations and follow up.

Begin conversations with potential future leaders in the fall of the current year. This may seem excessive and presumptuous, but I can assure you that the sooner you start planning the better off your ministry will be. It will also reduce stress on your end as you aren’t frantically trying to find leaders the month before fall programming kicks off. It will also allow future leaders to think about the commitment they are stepping into and to begin shaping and adjusting their schedule accordingly.

Spend time in prayer. Asking God for discernment, wisdom, guidance, and peace is key. Running a ministry means we remember that we are not the one in ultimate control but simply the one stewarded to shepherd and disciple the people of God. Trusting that He is in control takes the pressure off of our shoulders and allows us to trust that He has it all figured out. That doesn’t mean we don’t bear responsibility or shouldn’t put in the legwork, but instead we remember who we are doing this for and trusting that He has everything in control.

Preparing for the future and starting to recruit leaders earlier allows for the longevity and continued success of your ministry and shows the value you give to your leaders. Our leaders allow our ministry to succeed and are needed to love, care for, and disciple our students.

What are you tips for recruiting leaders into your ministry?

Quick Tip: Go to Sunday Service

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Have you ever felt like Sundays are just incredibly busy and you’re running around trying to get everything done? Have you hit your step goal on a Sunday morning before the services are done? Is Sunday morning time to catch up on emails and last-minute prep for your message?

Has Sunday become just another work day? When was the last time you sat in a worship service as a participant and worshipper? Do you get stopped multiple times before you even open your office?

Me too! I get it. Part of working or serving at a church means that Sundays will often include work in various capacities. But that doesn’t mean we should forego our own spiritual health and inflow, nor should we give up on fellowship with the body. Yes, there will be Sundays when we are pulled in a hundred different directions and don’t get into a service. But that should be the exception not the norm.

We are called to be an active participant of the church and to continue to meet together and care for one another. This command doesn’t simply apply to church members, but also to those of us who serve on staff at the church. The book of Acts is all about the fellowship of believers and being a part of the local church. It is easy to say we are a part of the church as we serve the body, but are you actually participating with the body of Christ and being poured into?

As employees within the church it is a default of ours to serve the church, but it is something we often do at our own detriment as we don’t participate with our fellow believers in the corporate gathering. If we continue to treat Sunday as simply a day of work instead of worshipping with others, I can promise you five things:

  1. You’ll find yourself trying to lead from nothing as you are not being poured into.
  2. You’ll become frustrated, resentful, angry, and bitter toward the church because you will see the church as keeping you from worshipping and growing.
  3. It will lead to fracturing and frustration in your family if you don’t worship together.
  4. You will lose the joy that you had in ministry.
  5. You will struggle in your walk with Jesus.

At the end of the day, there will be Sundays that you don’t make it into the service. Those Sundays should not be the norm, but instead the exception. Even if you need to talk with your supervisor about your schedule, commit to being in the service (with your family if applicable) and worshipping with your fellow believers. I can promise you that this is necessary and will ultimately be better for you, your family, those you lead, and your church.

Trip Tricks: Leader Training for Winter Trips

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It’s the middle of September and we are already planning out our winter retreat. If your youth group is anything like ours, your students are amped to go away together during the winter and may already be talking about it. But in order for our winter retreat to be a success, we need the majority of our leaders to sign up to go.

Typically we take about two thirds of our leaders with us and most of them have been on a winter retreat with us at some point in their career. But the reality is that things change year to year. Whether it’s simple things like the speaker or band, maybe the schedule is tweaked a little, or perhaps it’s a bigger change like the location or expectations, there is always some change that happens.

That means we should be seeking to equip, prepare, train, and bless our leaders as we get ready to go on our winter retreat. First things first, you need to recruit your leaders to go on the trip. That should be something that is done well before you start to sign up students in order to make sure you have the proper leader-to-student ratio and can adequately care for and shepherd your students.

Once you have recruited all of your leaders you will need to start thinking through training and equipping them for the trip. Now I will say this: depending on how many of your leaders have been on your winter trip will determine how long and in-depth this training needs to be.

If the majority of your leaders have gone on the trip before, then you can keep the training shorter. If you have a large number of leaders who haven’t been to the retreat, take extra time to ensure they are adequately prepared and their questions are answered.

Regardless of what your timing looks like, here are some essential elements to include in your training:

A leader packet.

This should contain all the pertinent information that your leaders need including a camp map, a schedule, packing list, small group information, small group meeting locations, expectations and rules, cabin information, travel information, and whatever else you deem necessary for your team.

A thank you card.

Your leaders are giving up a ton of time to be present on this retreat. So a handwritten and personal card from you will speak volumes.

Talk through expectations, camp layout, and schedule.

Making sure everyone is on the same page, knows what to expect, and has an understanding of the schedule means everyone is prepared. Helping your leaders understand what is expected and what the camp will be like allows them to lead better and care for their students.

Pray together.

This is key for any trip you take. Preparing your hearts and minds for the trip by bringing everything to the Savior allows your team to be centered and ready for what will happen.

Gifts.

Your leaders are giving up their time, energy, and rest to pour into your students. Many of them will spend the weekend away from their families, others may have to take PTO to attend, and others may be sacrificing study time.

An easy way to encourage and bless your leaders is to thank them with a tangible gift. This doesn’t have to be something that breaks the budget but instead something intentional and fun.

Q&A.

A key part of ensuring a successful training is making sure you’ve answered all of your leader’s questions. So make sure to have a time where your leaders can ask questions to ensure they feel comfortable and prepared.

A Call to Prayer, Repentence, and Fasting

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“Did you see that Charlie Kirk was shot?” The question stopped me cold and I instantly felt a weight on my chest as I began to think through the implications, fallout, and responses that would be coming. And honestly, it was worse than I could ever have imagined.

Let me preface this by saying I have strong opinions on Charlie Kirk, his message, and his method. But I am not here to judge him or to question his faith. Instead I am here today to challenge us as ministers of the Gospel to pray, repent, and fast.

That Wednesday was truly a dark day and, rightly so, we should be mourning the loss of life as all life is sacred to God. But on that same day there was also a shooting at a high school in Colorado where multiple students were injured and the gunman died by suicide. This shooting simply got a blip on the national news cycle and there were very few rallying cries for those students and their families. Further still, a politician was murdered and others targeted in a similar fashion because the murderer held differing beliefs.

There is a problem in our country and it is being fueled by inflammatory rhetoric across both sides of the aisle. But there is a deeper problem that pertains to us as ministers: we have allowed political positioning to infiltrate its way into our faith and this has shaped our response and how we shepherd the flock.

American Christianity has become deeply entrenched in politics and we have often allowed our political positioning to inform how we shepherd, what we say, who we protect or villainize, and ultimately how we are shaping the future of our churches.

I am not here to debate political ideology. Personally, I’ve voted on both sides of the aisle, I have friends from all different political backgrounds, and I’ve seen my own political leaning ebb and flow as I’ve grown and matured. I believe it is a good thing to hold to our convictions and allow them to inform how we vote. But what I am strongly against is using political leanings to attack, dehumanize, and portray others as evil.

All you need to do is pop onto social media and you’ll see conspiracies about Kirk’s murderer being from Antifa, Groypers, alt-right, Republicans, Democrats, or even the president himself. And so many of these posts are being fueled by politicians who claim to be Christ-followers, pastors and ministry leaders, and churches around the country.

In the majority of these posts you’ll find corrupted and out-of-context Scripture that seeks to portray one side as not just ungodly but also undeserving of God’s love and grace. To say we need to fight, there will be a reckoning, that the other side needs to be destroyed, that’s not Christ! To infiltrate your political ideology with out-of-context Scripture to inflame an already volatile state is foolish, ignorant, and anti-Jesus.

And the sad part is, American churches have bought into this politicized Jesus and are running after it while leaving the real Jesus behind them. People have vilified not only those who hold different political or theological convictions, but also the very man whose life was robbed from him.

This type or rhetoric is infiltrating the church left and right, and as the shepherds God has called us to be, we have an obligation to protect our flocks from all types of threats. That means we try emulate Christ in all moments to all people.

Jesus didn’t call us to be judge, jury, and executioner; He called us to love our neighbors and our enemies. He called us to forgive more times than society dictates. He challenged us to see people as He does: children in need of saving. He called us to put away our swords, care for and love others, serve the world, and seek justice.

But too often we like to take the parts of Jesus we prefer and hide the others. To serve a bit-and-parceled Jesus is to serve a false representation of God controlled by humanity. To be frank: I’m not about serving a tiny Jesus controlled by us because that’s not the true God.

So what are we to do? I believe we need to model a different way of living out and embodying our faith that starts with prayer, repentance, and fasting. We need to grieve with one another as a life was stolen. A life that God created was snuffed out in a violent and abhorrent act. But we also need to mourn that our country is at a place where violence is not only seen as an act that should be taken, but in many ways has also been normalized.

We must be praying for one another. For our friends and those who think similarly. For our enemies and those who oppose us. For our brothers and sisters across the political aisle. For our leaders and governing authorities whether or not we agree with them. For our spiritual leaders that they reflect Jesus not political ideologies.

Before we make assumptions, accusations, or offer guidance we had better start on our knees and seek the direction and heart of Jesus as we desire to first and foremost reflect and emulate Him to the world. Then, and only then, should we begin to speak out.

We should repent of the ways we have spoken poorly about one another and the ways we have encouraged others to do the same through our leadership. We need to repent of putting our wants and desires before Christ. We must repent of our desire for power and control. We must repent of seeing others as villains rather than as a child of the King.

And we must repent of weaponizing Scripture to suit our desires and political leanings. God isn’t subject to humanity nor does He fit into our political system. He is far above all and reigns regardless of which American political party is in control and which country has the power! That is the God we serve!

We need to fast from a quick assumption, a short word, an accusatory and broad sweeping social media post, a defamatory post about other individuals and groups, and from sharing videos and posts that use Scripture out of context to stoke the fires of angry political discourse.

We are created in the Imago Dei, just like the people sitting across from us and those who have wildly different opinions and positions. Just because we differ does not mean we dehumanize one another. Instead, we should be able to come together and lament the life lost, the violent rhetoric that permeated our country and churches, and move towards a truly Christ-centered response.

Instead of fueling the fire, may we fall on our faces seeking the triumphant return and restoration that only our Savior can bring. May we cry out for healing, justice, and grace as we seek to model Christ to our world. May our actions and words truly reflect the full Jesus and not a cherry-picked version. And may we cry out “not I, but He” and “come quickly Lord Jesus.”

Though I know they will never see this, to Charlie Kirk’s family, my heart breaks for you. I grieve with you. And I love you. We differ radically in many ways, but what happened to you was wrong and evil and not representative of what our Savior calls us to. May our God grant you peace, grace, comfort, and hope in this time.

5 Tips for Leading Well

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What comes to mind when you hear the word “leadership?” Did you feel prepared to step into a leadership role? What does leadership look like in ministry?

I know I definitely wasn’t feeling very prepared when I stepped into ministry. In fact, leadership isn’t something I was taught a lot about in school. Most of my classes were centered on biblical exposition, hermeneutics, running ministries, pastoral care, and things of that nature. Things like leading a team, handling reviews, and balancing a budget were not covered in class. They were things I had to pick up within the throes of ministry.

But as I continued to serve in churches and non-profits, I began to become intimately aware that leadership is more than just being the person in charge. It is about caring for, developing, and empowering your people to lead well.

Most of the resources I gained about effective leadership came from positions I held outside of the church, but can easily be transposed into a ministry context. Today I want to share five principles that have served me well in leading various teams throughout my career.

1. Communicate.

Communication is truly a lost art and it seems to be more so in churches, which is a little odd when you consider that the bulk of our ministry is focused on communication. But good leaders communicate well, often, and clearly. And they don’t communicate just to get their points across but to help them know more and grow in their roles.

Make sure your team and your communities not only hear what you are sharing but also understand what you’re saying. Clarity equals kindness and when we communicate well we help our people step out in leadership.

2. Empower and release.

This is a big step for leaders because it means leading with an open hand and not micromanaging your team. Empowering and releasing your people means trusting them to step out and lead in the way that God has designed them.

At times this may make you feel a little anxious and it may not always go the way you expect it to. But if you continue to empower, disciple, and release your people, you will not only see them rise and flourish, you will see your ministry grow and blossom as well.

3. Embody grace and forgiveness.

When we empower people to lead and give them the opportunity to do so, there will be times people mess up. And it is easy to pass judgement and be critical in how we respond. But that isn’t how Jesus modeled leadership.

When I worked in jobs outside of ministry, we were taught to be harsh in how we responded to our team. We were told to establish our authority and not let it be crossed. But Jesus’s way of leading is radically different.

We are to be servant leaders who model Christ to our teams. That means we embody grace and forgiveness and help our team to flourish even when they mess up. We need to walk with them and challenge them, but not belittle or marginalize them. The church doesn’t need more toxic leadership, it needs grace-filled leadership that models Jesus to our people.

And as a quick aside, remember that this is also true for us as leaders. We will mess up, we will make mistakes. So be willing to own that, to apologize, to seek forgiveness, and look to grow and change. Good leaders not only lead well, they model what they are calling their team to embrace.

4. Grow and develop together.

One thing I’ve heard way too often from ministry leaders is that they don’t need to continue to grow and develop because they have it figured out. Whether it’s because they’ve been in ministry for a long period of time, they have advanced degrees, or they have been to “all” the conferences.

None of those things mean you’ve arrived and know it all. Life, culture, people, and ministry continue to evolve and we need to understand what is happening and be willing to adapt as it does. This means we need to continue growing and developing, and we should be leading our teams in that as well.

Don’t look at this as an isolation role that’s only for the leader of the ministry. Growth and development are key for all of our leaders and we should be helping them to do so. This can be through training, resources, conferences, coaching, peer-to-peer discipleship, coaching groups, or any of the other litany of resources that are available.

5. Have fun.

“Nick, we always know when your team is meeting because it’s loud and you all laugh a lot!”

I remember the first time I heard this and my first response was to shush everyone. But then I realized it wasn’t a critical comment but one that recognized how much our team loves to be together and have fun.

Fun must be an essential part of every team. Whether it’s in how you structure your meetings, taking intentional outings, laughing at dumb mistakes or silly stories, playing games together, or just sharing life, fun is essential because it embodies the life of joy God is calling us to.

Having fun doesn’t mean we aren’t productive. It doesn’t mean we don’t focus. It doesn’t mean we are silly all the time. It means we are embracing the life God has called us to and celebrating it together.

Having fun is something that will not only make you a better leader as it humanizes you, it will make your team stronger and more united as you share life and joy with one another.

What is a leadership tip that you have seen work well in your ministry?

Be Willing to Change

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Let me start by saying this: if you know the DISC Assessment, I am a high C/I. That means I love lists, organization, and structure but I also love people and relationships. Now think about that personality as a leader and you can understand that there are things I struggle with because I’m trying to balance between focusing on the tasks or focusing on the people.

In order to try and balance those two things, I tend to hold to well established rhythms, functions, and structures. What I am getting at is this: it’s hard for me to change and it’s harder still to add change into a ministry that has been doing well. The old adage holds true for me: if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.

But pause and consider this with me: is that actually true? Just because something “isn’t broke,” should we not attempt something new? I mean we could hold to the status quo and keep going. We could look at our ministries and say, “this is fine, we don’t need to change.” But does that allow for growth, change, and development? Or are we simply staying put because it’s safe and it’s what we know and are comfortable with.

Last year I did something that pushed me out of my comfort zone. At our last leader training I asked all of my leaders to do a modified SWOT Analysis of the ministry. It was incredibly encouraging and humbling all at the same time. I was able to understand how they saw the ministry, what was working and what wasn’t, and better understand what they needed in order for them and our ministry to succeed.

One of the things they brought up had to do with our trainings, specifically our big fall training that leads into the school year. They explained it felt like an information dump rather than any type of equipping and that it was the same thing year in and year out, which made them not want to come. They desired community, collaboration, and training and they felt like they were not receiving it.

I’ll be honest and share that I didn’t like their response. I had put a lot of time, thought, and effort into crafting the training and thought it was beneficial. I also saw it from the standpoint of having to cover all the necessary items for the year and these were things we needed to tackle.

But after stepping back for a few days, consulting with peers and mentors in my life, and allowing my pride to subside, I began to see that they were right. For the last seven years our fall trainings were all the same and I could understand why they said what they did. My leaders were right. So I pulled our staff team together and we began to brainstorm on what we could do differently.

We came up with a ton of creative ideas and opportunities to invest in our team and to help them grow as leaders. In looking at our leaders we realized that the majority of them have been through our trainings at least two times and know the logistical information inside and out. So we trimmed that part of training down and utilized our informational packet to give them all the intricate information.

We also incorporated team building, spiritual formation, worship, and collaborative training and team work. We themed the training, cut back on the timing, added creative food options and unique favors, and made sure to laugh and play together.

The result: a whole new training that our leaders enjoyed and we excited about. Honestly, this has set a whole new precedent for how our trainings are curated going forward. But the reality is this would not have happened if we didn’t take a risk and implement changes.

Change isn’t something we should do “just because,” but it should be an intentional step to better serve and care for your communities. Change can radically alter and benefit our communities if we are willing to listen, adapt, and be stretched together. The results will be beneficial for all parties.

So, what can you intentionally change to benefit your communities? Are you willing to take a risk and listen to what needs to be changed?

Embrace Your Facilities Team

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Each of us is acutely aware of what it takes to set up a room, a night of ministry, or a special event. Some ministries have to do their own set up and others have a facilities team that takes care of certain or all aspects of their set up needs.

In my early stages of ministry I was responsible for all types of set up. I was a part-time solo pastor in a tiny church that was comprised of mostly retirees who couldn’t help. That meant I was responsible for all set up on Sundays and any ministry event. Over the years since, that has evolved as we have moved to different churches and each of them have had their own unique experiences with a facilities team.

Often times the individuals responsible for taking care of our facilities and ensuring that events are ready to go can be overlooked. People don’t think about all the work that goes into making Sundays and ministry events happen. We don’t think about bathrooms being stocked, tables and chairs being set up, carpets being vacuumed, doors unlocked, and lights turned on. The reality is that these are just the basic functions that most facility teams handle; many of them handle a litany of other functions.

They are the backbone to our churches and ministries and without them many key aspects of our communities would cease to exist. The sad truth though is that these amazing individuals are often not seen, rarely complimented or thanked, and often spoken about poorly whether directly or indirectly. Typically the only time we think about our facility teams are when we need them.

But what if we actually saw our facility teams and embraced them? What if we helped them to see that they are loved and valued? Imagine if we uplifted and cared for them, highlighting how important they are. That would help our teams, our ministries, and our churches flourish in even greater ways. So what are some ways we can love and care for our facility teams well?

Start by noticing them and saying thank you.

Don’t only say thank you for when they serve you or your ministry. Notice them on busy days, say thank you for how the church works, and stop by their office to share the ways they helped your ministry go well.

Bring them a small thank you gift.

On the cold winter days when they clear the sidewalks and parking lots, bring them some hot cocoa and/or coffee. Stop by with some homemade cookies to thank them for how they set up for your ministry. Bring muffins and coffee in for breakfast for the team; that may mean going to work earlier than normal because most start before anyone else is in the building.

Send them a card or a bunch of cards.

We all know the value of a handwritten card. It makes you feel special, seen, valued, and loved. So why not pen one for your facilities team? Or better yet, why not ask your ministry to write letters? Imagine if all your students and leaders wrote simple thank you notes and you were able to encourage your facilities team that way. What an amazing and encouraging opportunity to help them see that what they are doing matters.

Listen well.

The other day a member of our facilities team needed to talk. I was cleaning up the morning after an event and he came out to help. I’ll be honest: I didn’t want to stay outside to cleanup any longer than I needed to. In central Pennsylvania it’s hot and humid this time of year, and I wanted to get back to my nice, cozy, and cool office.

But I could tell that he had something he needed to share. So I stayed and we talked for over half an hour. It was awesome and super intentional. It was clear he just needed someone to listen and hear him because he felt no one else would. Taking time to stop, engage, and listen to your facilities team will help them know they matter and that you care about them.

Get to know them.

At our church we have handful of facility staff members and a lot of volunteers who serve with them. I’ve intentionally sought to get to know their names and say hello to each of them when I see them. We all know and understand the power and implications of knowing people’s names. When we do that with people who serve our church so well it is an easy way to demonstrate love and care.

Help out.

This is an easy way to embrace the facilities staff in your church. Stepping in and helping to set up or tear down tables and chairs, offering to vacuum or sweep the halls, showing up to help shovel snow, or cleaning the kitchen after an event. These all sound like simple tasks but they quickly pile up and take a lot of hours to accomplish.

By stepping in and helping, you’re giving your facilities team extra margin and showing them that they matter. It does require time and effort on your part, but I can guarantee it will create a deepened relationship and team mentality.

These few ideas are not the only ways that you can love and embrace your facilities team; but they’re an intentional starting point. How do you love and embrace your facilities staff?

Embracing Yourself

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We are all unique. We bring different skills, personalities, giftings, backgrounds, experiences, and perspectives to the table. These aspects are what make each of us uniquely suited to serve in student ministry.

But if you have been around student ministry, or ministry period, you have probably heard or assumed that a youth pastor should look and act a certain way. There’s the image of a young, hip youth pastor who can play guitar and knows everything about pop culture.

There’s the personality that’s charismatic and outgoing. The youth worker who is energized by large gatherings that are filled with excitement and energy. The youth worker who is everyone’s best friend and all the students relate to them.

Or on the flip side, there’s the stereotypical youth pastor who dresses down all the time, is a glorified babysitter, and is called on to preach only when the senior pastor is out of town.

Do any of these sound familiar? Have you heard or experienced any of those presuppositions? I know I have in my career, many times. And if I’m honest, those presuppositions can be pretty defeating and hurtful. I don’t fit those molds at all and if those molds were the picture of the perfect youth pastor, I wouldn’t have a job. But can I let you in on a secret?

There is no “perfect” youth pastor or youth worker. There’s no “right” personality type or style or leadership. You don’t have to fit a certain mold or stereotype. You can and should be uniquely you!

God has created you in a unique and purposeful way. Your personality, your gifting, your strengths, and even your weaknesses have uniquely positioned you for ministering to students. You don’t need to dress a certain way or have all the glitz and glam. Those aren’t bad things but they aren’t ultimate things.

You can be soft spoken and relationally-focused. You could be outgoing and a gifted communicator. You can focus on discipleship or have a desire to be more evangelistic. You may have a passion for large events or smaller gatherings. Structure can be your strength or your ability to work on the fly. Whatever you bring to the table makes you, you.

Now I’m not advocating for passivity or to simply show up and not seek to grow and develop. What I am saying is this: your gifts, personality, and skillset are uniquely given to you by God to equip you for ministering to students.

So lean into those gifts, further your strengths, and seek to shore up your weaknesses. Don’t allow for who you are or presuppositions or the stereotypes to keep you from doing what God has called you to do. Embrace yourself and your gifts and allow for God to work through you in the intentional way He has desired for you.

So what makes you, you? What gifts, strengths, and skills do you bring to the table? How are you highlighting those abilities and helping others to see you and your skills as God does?

Embrace and lean into your skills and abilities! You are exactly who God wants in the space He has placed you in. Never forget that! Embrace yourself and allow God to work in and through you as you shepherd and guide the next generation.