Tag: recommendations

Ways to Care Well for Leaders

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We are all aware of how important volunteer leaders are to our ministries and the people we care for. Our leaders are the glue that hold the ministry together and they are often the ones who do life-on-life with our students. Leaders give up so much to disciple students and, let’s be honest, it can be a lot. It’s taxing, time consuming, emotional, and at times difficult.

In order to help support our leaders, it is important to care for them. Now as we think about caring for our leaders, it is pivotal to think about how each leader receives things. Thinking through their love languages and what they value and appreciate will help you to care for them in the best possible way but also in a way that is meaningful for them. So what are some tangible ways you can care for your leaders?

Send them a handwritten note.

We are in a technology-driven age, which is why receiving a handwritten note or card is so important. It shows such intentionality and a desire for community that it truly builds a greater connectivity between you and your leaders. A handwritten note shows your leaders how much you care about them and can truly be a highlight for them.

Ask them how you can pray for them and follow up on the request.

Praying for and with your leaders is a deeply personal and spiritual way of caring for your leaders because it shows them you care about them as a person. It shows that you don’t just see them as a volunteer but someone you truly care about and want to see thrive in all capacities. Spend time asking how they are doing, how their families are doing, what’s going on in their lives, how they are handling work, and what they need prayer for. By doing this, you are showing them how important and meaningful your relationship with them is. In doing this, make sure to follow up with them on their requests and check in to see how they are doing.

Call them.

Reaching out to your leaders with a phone call that isn’t work or ministry based will mean a lot. When the focus of your connection isn’t simply checking in on them from a ministry context, it allows you to strengthen your relational equity with them. Call them and ask how they’re doing. Check in with them and how you can care for them. Have a casual conversation and see them as more than a volunteer. This type of connection will strengthen your friendship with them and also help them to grow closer to you as they see your heart and passion.

Take them out for coffee or a meal.

One of my favorite things to do with my leaders is take them out to a local coffee shop and just share life. It allows us to build rapport and community together and it’s in a comfortable setting. However, doing something like this means working around your leaders’ schedules. I think we can get in the habit of doing things on our time table, but ministry timetables are often different. So we need to remember that to care for our leaders well and to go out with them means doing so when it works best for them.

Invest in them and their families.

Caring for your leaders means investing in them and their families. Leaders often sacrifice time at home to be with students, especially if they serve weekly and/or go on trips. So investing in your leaders by being involved in their lives and knowing how their families are doing is huge! Know if their kids are engaged in sports or other extracurriculars. Be aware of how their spouse is doing. Acknowledge how their jobs have been going. Be there during the hard moments. Care about them and love them where they are at. These are moments when your leaders will feel cared for because they see it is bigger than just them as you love and care for their families.

Praise them personally and publicly.

I love to do this! I love praising my leaders in front of my students and in front of the church. I want everyone to see how awesome my leaders are so I praise them whenever I can. We also highlight different leaders at our training sessions and thank them at key gathering throughout the year. It is also important to thank them privately. There are many moments we can thank our leaders for that may not be for the public setting. And those are moments that leaders will remember because you are being intentional and approaching them individually to praise them.

Share life with them.

Inviting your leaders over to watch football, going to a trivia night together, hosting a BBQ, or doing a movie and game night are all fun ways to engage with your leaders in everyday life. You can simply invite them to share in normal moments where you can laugh and have fun together.

Send them a gift.

We ask our leaders each year to fill out a brief questionnaire that has questions like, “What is your favorite candy bar?” Or, “If I got a gift to (fill in the blank) I’d be really happy.” And, “My favorite place to shop is (fill in the blank).” I know not every ministry can afford to do this type of thing regularly, but being able to surprise or bless your leaders with a gift card or gift is a special and tangible way of showing them you care.

6 Tips for Designing Your Space

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Typically there are two responses to this type of an article: I don’t have a designated space or I already have my space set up.

Those responses highlight a mentality of frustration or completion and I can fully resonate with both. When you don’t have a space that is specifically for your ministry due to multipurpose usage it can be really discouraging and frustrating. On the other hand when you have your space and it is fully set and designed how you like, your response may be to continue with the status quo, because why change what is working?

But may I suggest to you that neither of those responses are helpful nor beneficial? In fact both of those attitudes can lend themselves to complacency and an unwillingness to adapt and change. That is not a helpful place to be because it leads to tensions, frustrations, resentments, and bitterness. Instead what we should should be doing is thinking creatively and identifying ways in which our space can be most utilized to reach and impact the communities we serve. The question then is how can we design and utilize our space to that end?

1. Know your ambiance.

What is the vibe that you want your ministry to have? Is it a classroom setting? Do you want it to feel more like a party? Or is it a coffee shop environment? It may be none of these or a hybrid of a few different options. Regardless of what you choose, how you embrace the ambiance and build your space to reflect that is key. So know what you are going for and commit to it.

2. Consider your lighting options.

Our space is pretty set with lighting options because it’s a multipurpose room. This means we can’t add or change anything unless it is something the entire church agrees on or the items must be able to be removed after each event. For us, that means that either we use the lights that are in the room or we get creative. We chose to get creative and we have purchased floor lamps and market lights to change the ambiance of the room for our youth group nights. While yes, they do make set up a bit longer, the change of lighting and the effect it has on our environment has been more than worth it.

3. Think about seating.

Here’s the thing: chairs and tables aren’t always necessary. They can add to an environment but they can also detract from it. Deciding how you want people sitting may sound like it isn’t important but it can shift the the entire ambiance and purpose of your space.

When I started at our church, Sunday mornings were a little dull and lifeless. Students would come and sit in rows and there wasn’t a reason for why we had rows. So I shook it up, and we moved to round tables with chairs to foster conversations and discussion on what we were teaching. Changing seating will switch up the ambiance, the energy, and even the purpose of what you’re seeking to accomplish. So think through how you want your seating to be and make sure it matches your vision and purpose.

4. Intentionally set up your room.

We just talked about chairs and tables but it is important to think through your room setup holistically. Where do you have your TV or your projector? Where are you putting snacks? Does your room setup convey a welcoming environment? Where and how will you incorporate games and activities?

Like I said above, we utilize round tables and chairs but that really inhibits us from being able to do active and mobile games. We knew that with our current set up we would need to be creative, so we utilize PowerPoint games that are usually in an all-play style.

We should also think through how our rooms bring people in and what we are conveying. Is it welcoming? Does it feel warm and inviting? How are students engaging and interacting? These questions will help us to think critically about room setup and if it is what we need for our program.

5. Incorporate student elements.

This is something I would love to do in our main spaces, but unfortunately cannot at this time. Instead I’ve encouraged students to bring in paintings and drawings, poetry, photos, stories they wrote, sculptures, or any other artistic elements to decorate our Leader Hub. Allowing students to contribute not only highlights their gifts and skill sets, it also helps to encourage your leaders as they see their students growing and flourishing.

6. Utilize food and music.

Music and food are two amazing elements we often don’t consider but just have at our gatherings. But why do we use them and how should we use them? Food is a natural barrier breaker. Have you ever noticed how often Jesus had conversations around food? I believe it is because when you share a meal, people’s walls start to come down and it allows us to engage in community. So as you think about designing your space, think about where you’ll be incorporating food and if it is truly helping your group engage in community. If food is at the back of the room and difficult to get to, you aren’t helping your cause. But if it is readily accessible and in a place students see, it will help you succeed in your vision for your program.

Music is hugely important when it comes to designing your space. Have you ever gone to a coffee shop or a supermarket and there’s no music playing? It’s a little creepy right? We begin to wonder why there isn’t music, it feels awkward, and we pull inward. The same is true for student spaces. You could have the most beautiful space but if there’s no excitement and nothing filling the dead air, students will not want to be there. So play music but also think about what kind of music you want, and how it is rounding out the environment you are seeking to create.

How to Create a Place for Leaders

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Years ago I read a post called “Think about the tea drinkers,” which was all about remembering to care for leaders who don’t drink coffee. But the heart of the article was about caring well for your leaders. If I am being honest, this is something that has grown and evolved during my time in ministry. It started with hosting Christmas parties and giving gifts, then incorporating leader bags for trips and retreats, and finally with creating a leader hub for our volunteer team.

Even in saying “leader hub” I know it can sound unattainable for some, but believe me when I tell you that this can and should look different based upon your ministry, your community, and your budget. And that is okay! Simply put, I believe we should have a place, a hub, where our leaders can know that they are loved and cared for while also being equipped. Today, I’d love to share what that looks like and give some helpful tips for how to build this idea out.

Have a designated space.

Typically when we hear “space” we tend to envision a specific room for leaders similar to a lounge. While that may be an option for some churches, for other ministries it isn’t. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have a space for leaders. Consider turning your office into a space for leaders by adding coffee and snacks and a place for them to get their needed resources. Our space used to be a filing cabinet drawer with snacks and a coffee area before we opened our leader hub.

If you don’t have an office, think about setting up a table with leader resources and leader-only snacks. You could explain what that is to students to help elevate and recognize your leaders while you set parameters. Your space doesn’t have to be large and over the top, it simply has to be a place that shows your leaders they are loved and cared for. Having a space set up just for leaders helps to value and appreciate them for all they do.

Name the space.

While naming the space may sound like something that doesn’t really matter, I believe it does. It not only validates what you’re doing, it also highlights the importance and necessity of having quality leaders. We chose to call our space the “Leader Hub” because of what it offers. It has a place to pause and rest along with snacks and various refreshments, and we also have resources for our leaders. We want to highlight that our space is more than just a place to relax. It is also a place of equipping and resourcing. Whatever you desire you space to be, name it so that it reflects that to your team.

What should you include?

For our space we include snacks, drinks, resources, programming items, announcements, and anything else our leaders may need. Some snacks that we have are granola and protein bars, microwaveable soups, instant oatmeal, snack packs of pretzels and cookies, pop tarts, and peanut butter crackers. Most of these items or comparable ones you can find at any supermarket including Aldi, where their store brand items are just as good or better than the name-brand items.

Outside of food, we include our small group questions, any announcements for our leaders, and a schedule. We also have a QR Code for our guest students on postcards that they can utilize for their small groups. Their lanyards with name tags are hanging up in the hub for them to grab as they pick up a cup of coffee or a snack. Finally, the hub features first aid items, Bibles and devotional guides for students, and books and resources for our leaders. All of these are items we’ve accumulated over time but have now placed in a centralized area where they are labeled and organized for leaders to easily grab as needed.

How to budget for a leader space.

Some ministries have a budget for things like this while others don’t. I want to speak specifically to the ministry leaders who don’t have a budget for this because it’s often in those moments when you read something like this that you feel you can’t bless your leaders in the ways others do. Let me first say this: don’t think less of yourself or that you aren’t a good leader because of that. The very nature that you’re reading this and trying to think creatively about how to do this validates how great of a leader you are. But the question still remains: how do you budget for this and care well for your leaders?

If you don’t have this built into your budget, or don’t have a budget, consider what you have at your disposal. Can you print out name tags for your leaders and make them stand out in how you theme them? Can you utilize a space where you meet and theme it or decorate for your leaders to help emphasize their value and worth?

Consider asking parents or elders and their families to donate funds or baked goods or a meal for your volunteers. This will help your leaders feel valued and seen by the church as a whole. If you’re able to purchase different items for your leaders, look to extend that budget by shopping at stores like Aldi or Grocery Outlet where your funds go further. Or you could even look to bake treats for them each each as well. Buying off-brands or even purchasing items for simple chocolate chip cookies can be easy on your budget but also show your leaders how much you love them. Don’t be afraid to think outside the box.

At the end of the day it isn’t about how big your budget is or how amazing your space is for leaders. It’s all about caring well for your leaders and showing them that you see their value and worth. Think creatively about what you can offer them and how you can create a space where you love, bless, and equip them.

Theme Night Ideas: Prizes

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Our theme nights often have some type of competition between small groups. That may be entire small groups competing against one another in a scavenger hunt or an “Amazing Race” challenge, or it may be a representative or two competing for their group. Regardless of how we structure it, we frequently offer prizes for the winners.

Here’s the thing: I think for some youth groups offering prizes is normal and a good chunk of their budget can be apportioned to it. But there are other youth groups that the thought of prizes is something they can’t even consider due to constraints or lack of a budget. What I would love to do today is share some prizes we have utilized that I think should be applicable to any youth group regardless of financial standing. This isn’t meant to say one is better than the other, but a way to highlight the intentional and relational approach we can take with giving prizes to our students.

Food.

For some youth groups this may mean treating the winners to Chick-fil-A, for others it may mean giving them an ice cream party or cupcakes, and for others it may mean the prize is something that you or one of your leader makes for the group.

Gift cards.

You may be thinking, “Hold up Nick, you said these are applicable to any youth group.” You’re right, I did. I think when we hear “gift cards” we default to the belief that we have to pay for them. No, I’m not advocating that we steal them. But what I am suggesting is to be creative. Do you have a cafe you sell food from? Create gift cards your students can use there. Connect with local businesses and ask if they’d be willing to donate some gift cards for your event. Local businesses tend to have bigger hearts and want to bring in locals, so an opportunity to bless students is a great way for them to advertise.

Dinner out.

This is similar to the one above. We default to going out to dinner at a restaurant, but that doesn’t have to be the only option. What if you lined up a list of people within the church and their “menus” and let students choose where they want to eat? You could ask staff, elders, or volunteers to donate their time, home, and a meal for the winning team. Dinner out doesn’t need to be a restaurant but instead can be more about a memorable experience students can have with people who care about them.

Start a tradition.

I have seen youth groups do this in different ways. Some utilize a random item students get to sign if they win, which is displayed in the youth area or youth pastor’s office. You could also purchase imitation Emmy awards online that are fairly cheap but are something students can take home and display. How you theme, emphasize, and champion these traditions will help students be excited about them and desire to win them at each event.

Something personal.

This past year I decided to try something different as a prize. I’ll be honest, I lumped this idea in with three other prizes students could choose from and honestly they all chose the one I tried out. It was a huge hit! What was it? I offered to bake whatever they would like (within reason and my skill set) and bring it to their Home Group and spend the evening with them. I couldn’t believe how successful this was. My students loved it and we will continue doing it for prizes this year. I also enjoy making candles as a way of decompressing and we have offered a candle making class for winning groups and that was another successful prize. Creating a prize that is personal and relational is something students will desire because it’s meeting needs and offering them something they are craving: authentic relationships.

Theme Night Ideas: October Celebration

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Notice what we didn’t title this post: Halloween party, harvest festival, fall celebration, costume party, or reformation gathering. I’m going to let that sit for a moment because some of you are laughing, others are cringing, and still others of you may be frustrated.

The reality of the matter is any type of celebration in October can be inflammatory and challenging for youth ministries as we seek to work within the guidelines and parameters of our church while also navigating the cultural tensions that exist among church goers and communities. I mean how many of you have heard something like, “Halloween is the devil’s holiday” or, “Why would you wear costumes? God tells us to come as we are!” Or maybe you have even been told that bats and the like represent hell and we should never have them in the church.

Been there, am I right? Even as I am writing this, different conversations and interactions are coming to mind and I have a flurry of emotions and reactions. There will always be strong reactions to a theme night in October, but if we are looking to utilize theme nights as a means to invite new students and engage with our community, we need to understand that this is an opportune time to do so.

I am not saying we compete with Halloween or different cultural elements because you probably won’t see success in doing so. Instead, I’m suggesting that we find a way to engage our community in fun, relational, and missional ways that reach our students and their peers. But what does that look like? What can we do as we navigate this tricky time of year?

Pick a theme that works for your environment.

It’s easy to look at what others have done and want to create that for our groups, especially when we see what people post on social media. We see what larger churches and programs do and we want to replicate that. But before craving to imitate, let me encourage you to think about your environment and what will work for it.

Think about your people and what they need. Think about your space and what it will allow you to do. Think about your church and its culture and what will be acceptable. Think through what will reach your students and their peers. After you’ve done the ground work of examining what will work, then pick a theme. It could be as simple as calling it a Halloween Party or maybe you could theme it as a Fall Tailgate. Whatever you pick for your theme, make sure that it will be the best for your students and their peers.

Utilize games and activities to embrace the theme.

Whatever theme you choose, make sure to incorporate games and activities that embrace your theme. If you choose a theme but then just utilize your normal games or keep the format and feel of a typical program, the themed event will fall flat. Not only will it make your students feel devalued, it will also make it appear as if you don’t care. If students believe you don’t care about the event that you put together for them, they will believe that you don’t care about them.

You can incorporate different elements from your theme into your activities. If you are simply going for a fall theme think about doing apple bobbing and maybe taking it up a notch by bobbing for various fruits and veggies or even different foods like sandwiches. Choosing a Halloween theme doesn’t mean you need to do a haunted house, but instead you could have activities like pumpkin carving or pumpkin bowling. You could also utilize games with strobe or black lights like 9 Square or dodgeball. But make sure to tell your students if there will be strobes because they can affect people differently. There are also costume competitions to which you can assign different categories of judging. You can also incorporate eating activities like a pumpkin pie eating contest or have a make-your-own-s’more activity with a prize for most creative.

Make sure to utilize different decor.

When it comes to a fall-themed event think about decor like pumpkins, hay bales, apples, and fall leaves. If you want to do a more Halloween-themed event think through what won’t necessarily be inflammatory for your church community. You could use different colored lights, cobwebs, and hanging signs.

But what if you can’t bring in all the things? What if your space and/or budget is limited? Think about getting different colored tablecloths for the food area from a dollar store, get creative with the plates, cups, and napkins and see if you can acquire ones that fit your theme. Think about hanging lights around doorways or the podium you may use. Or consider hosting the event outdoors and asking local farmers to donate straw bales (not hay, I learned that one very quickly living in Iowa) that you can incorporate into your outdoor design.

Don’t be limited by your space but allow your space to generate creativity and utilize it in unique ways. This is also a great opportunity to ask your students and leaders to design it and see what they come up with. If you’re passionate about it and give them responsibility, they will be passionate as well and run with the theme.

Theme your food options.

When you can theme your food for events it just makes the event that much more fun. I’ll be honest, I’m not super creative when it comes to decorating food items for different events. But I can make things that fit the feel of the event. My point is that you don’t have to be able to design popcorn balls that look like spiders, but instead can utilize caramel popcorn for popcorn balls because it is a snack that has the feel of fall.

So for a fall event, consider having snacks and food that fit the theme. Think about pumpkin snacks, popcorn, candy corn, caramel apples, puppy chow, apple cider, hot chocolate, and whatever else feels fall-ish to your group. Or consider asking parents or different groups within the church to prepare and run a fall-themed dinner for your group.

Don’t fudge on your vision and mission.

This is more of a reminder to us as leaders. It is always fun to put on an event our students will love and bring their peers to, but we need to remember that regardless of what we do, our vision and mission should always be a part of and shape our activities. Simply put, we shouldn’t do things just because they are fun or different, they should embody our vision and help to emphasize it.

What’s In Your Back Pocket?

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“Feeling about his pockets, he finds the ring he had found earlier and had forgotten about, and asks out loud to himself, ‘What have I got in my pocket?‘” – The Hobbit

Sorry, I couldn’t help but dig into my nerdy side with this title. This isn’t a post about The Hobbit but instead is about being prepared at any time. Throughout my time in youth ministry it has been impressed upon me the importance of always having a backup plan. Or something in your back pocket. It’s essential to have something ready to go in case of the inevitable shift in plans, weather, attendance, or any of the hundreds of changes that happen during ministry.

This has often happened to me on mission trips. You go to visit a church in the community you’re serving in and they ask you to come and share, and what they really mean is give a sermon. Or you may be asked to go on visitation to a nursing home and they ask you to run the chapel that day. Perhaps you are put on the spot in a tragedy. Or maybe the main youth leader is out sick and running the night falls on you! What do you do? Are you ready to go? Should you just wing it?

I think for many of us, those are somewhat terrifying moments and situations. I can honestly say that I have experienced all of them. And having walked through them I have realized the necessity of being prepared and having messages, games, and questions you can default to. This isn’t to say you should live in fear wondering when you’ll be called on next, but rather to be prepared should you have the opportunity to step up. I want to share with you a few ways you can be prepared and have something your back pocket whenever you need.

Have easy no-prep games ready to go.

We have written on our favorite little- or no-prep games before, and having games that you know how to run that don’t need any supplies is a must. A favorite of mine is pull up which you can find by clicking the link to the earlier post. And manhunt or capture the flag are also super easy because it just involves people, space, and maybe a couple quick objects for a game. If you don’t have the space or the weather outside isn’t cooperating, think about playing spoons or mafia. Anything can be utilized to take the place of spoons, except sharp things, and mafia requires only a deck of cards.

Always have generic small group or discussion questions.

Small group questions are the norm for many programs but they often come from the lead person for that ministry. If you were asked to take over for an evening or an event, do you have small group questions you can utilize? Having generic questions will allow your students or team to engage with the lesson or material and better seek to apply it to their lives. Generic questions typically won’t work every week, but in a pinch these are a great way to ensure conversation in large and small groups.

Here are some general questions that we incorporate each week alongside our specific questions that relate to the lesson:

  • What is one good thing and one difficult thing that happened this week?
  • What stood out to you from the talk?
  • What challenged you from the talk?
  • What were some of the key topics and themes from the message?
  • What was the big idea from tonight’s conversation?
  • What is one part of the message that you want to explore more?
  • What is one thing you can practically apply to your life this week?
  • What prayer requests do you have?

Always have a message or two that you know by heart.

This is something I learned on my very first mission trip as a student. We were told we may need to share a devotion at some point on the trip, but what we didn’t know was that devotion would be shared in front of a church and was actually the Sunday message. I had volunteered to share prior to the trip and was shocked when I found out I’d be in front of the church. I don’t remember what I said but I remember the pastor coming up afterwards and thankfully expounding on it.

I wish I could say that mission trip was the only time that happened but I can’t. I’ve been asked to preach multiple times on mission trips when we enter a church building. I’ve also been asked to share a message of hope to a large group of students and families when I arrived as a grief counselor to an unexpected tragedy involving a student. I wasn’t prepared for that but I knew I needed to be able to offer some sort of comfort and hope to a hurting group of people. I know it’s not always easy to be prepared in the moment. But if you have a hand full of messages for a variety of circumstances memorized and ingrained in your mind and heart, you will find yourself better prepared to tackle those surprise moments.

A few messages I have in my back pocket include a general one on God’s grace and gift of salvation; one on grief, pain, and hope; and two based off of my favorite passages of scripture from Psalm 1 and Ephesians 3. These are all messages that have personal connections to my life and are ones I have worked on for years to make sure they have been honed and internalized. By utilizing personal connections and practicing them, they become ingrained and part of us, which means they are ready to go even when we are surprised to learn we will be teaching.

We want to know: what are some things that you keep in your back pocket?

Theme Night Ideas: Christmas Parties

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“It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas!” It’s colder out, Starbucks has debuted their holiday drinks, radio stations are blasting their Christmas selections, and your hoodies and gloves are becoming a common clothing staple.

Don’t look outside thinking you’ve slept away the summer, it’s still July. But Christmas is fast approaching, it’s only 147 days away. Some of you may need to catch your breath because it feels like we just saw our seniors graduate and summer is only halfway over. But before we know it, Christmas will be here and we will be trying to formulate a plan for a Christmas party for our students, our leaders, and maybe even one at your home. So why not get a jump start on things and begin preparing now for Christmastime so you are better prepared when it comes along?

Today, I want to share some helpful tips and ideas for hosting a Christmas party either for your students or your leaders. My goal is to help you make it the best it can be and to help take some of the stress of planning everything off your plate. So what are some key elements that we’d encourage you to include?

Games.

Incorporating various games at a Christmas party is a great way in include excitement, fun, and engagement. Depending on your group dynamics your games may look different. With a smaller group you might want to make it more interactive and maybe include “all play” style games. Some games include the plastic wrap ball game, a Christmas themed “Find Me…” game, a Christmas carol rap competition, or a decorating game where students each have to decorate a person in a specific style.

If your group is larger you may need to look for games that are small group-styled PowerPoint games or ones that invite an individual or two up from each group. You can find a bunch of these games at DYM and many other ones you can utilize for any sized group.

Celebration.

Christmas parties should include an element of celebration and feel different from other youth group gatherings. This can be accomplished by having a themed party like ugly Christmas sweaters or dress up as your favorite Christmas movie character. It can be done through a hot chocolate and Christmas cookie bar, or through the decoration of your youth area.

These events should be celebratory and different so your students get excited about coming and want to bring their friends. That is also true for leaders. If you can add some festive elements and share a theme for the party, it turns a simple gathering into a really special day. Consider doing table decorations and centerpieces, having Christmas music, leveling up your food game, and community.

Stories.

For both student and leader Christmas parties, taking time to share stories of what God had done over the last year is a really cool way to celebrate God and to encourage those in your ministry. These stories should and will look different based on which party you’re hosting, but you could ask people to share how they’ve seen God move or to share their favorite memories from this year.

If you want to have things a little more polished and planned out for the student party, consider asking students to record a brief video sharing their stories that you can edit and show at the party. My encouragement for leaders would be to allow them to share live at the party whether in front of the whole group or at their tables.

Team competition.

One of the things I love to do at our student and leader Christmas parties is to have some sort of team or group competition. In years past we’ve done gingerbread house competitions and they have gone over very well. We broke students up by small groups and our leaders we divided by the table they sat at.

Depending on your group, and their propensity to follow or not follow rules, you can adjust the competition and rules accordingly. You could also do a karaoke-style competition or a group-style trivia game. There’s also Christmas Pictionary or charades. These are easy and fun opportunities to help the whole group participate in a game.

Gifts.

We always try to incorporate gifts into any Christmas party we do. We celebrate and bless our leaders by getting Christmas gifts for them as a way of saying thank you. Putting intentional thought and effort into getting a gift that your leaders will not only enjoy but also use is a great way to make Christmas parties special.

When it comes to our student parties, we do a white elephant gift exchange. We ask students to bring a new or gently used wrapped gift that is no more than $10 to utilize in our gift exchange. However, we know that some students may not be able to provide a gift or a friend may come to our party and didn’t realize they needed a gift. So we provide additional gifts for our students so everyone can leave with a gift at the end of the night. Typically we also tell our students that if they receive a gift they didn’t like they can swap out with one of the gifts we purchased which we make sure are things students will enjoy.

Worship.

Incorporating worship into Christmas parties is a great way to keep everyone focused on the true reason you are gathered together. Now before I go any further, I want to emphasize that I don’t simply mean music when I talk about worship. I mean holistic worship. So think about singing and music, reading and teaching the Christmas story or another passage of Scripture, prayer, and different responses. We don’t always sing Christmas carols at our parties but we do carve out time to talk about Jesus and why He is the reason we are gathering.

When it comes to our student parties we try to keep our lesson time to 15 minutes or less for two reasons: we know we have lots of first time guests who haven’t been to a church setting before and we will be giving them ample small group time to dig deeper into the Christmas story. For leaders, we love to read the Christmas story to remind all of us of how great God’s love is for us and then to spend time in prayer together. Sometimes we also sing Christmas carols together even if it’s a capella. Whatever way you choose to incorporate worship, it is an essential part of keeping the focus of Christmas parties on Christ.

Small group time.

Our student ministry is a discipleship-based program which means we allot ample time for our small groups each week (45–60 minutes). When it comes to events and theme nights, we know that these are highly relational and invitational. Because of that we know that extended small group time can feel awkward for our newcomers, which means we include small group time but only for around 30-35 minutes. That way groups can gather to talk through the reason for Christmas, to talk about their plans for the holiday, to do any gift exchanges for their small group, and to pray together.

For leader parties we take time to pray together at our tables during the party and to celebrate what God has done and to pray for any requests that we may have whether personal or focused on our students. This time of prayer and community is typically how we end our parties as it allows for us to engage in interpersonal relationships and be for one another.

What are some must-have elements for your Christmas parties?

Theme Night Ideas: Nerf Battles

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Last Monday, we kicked off a new series called “Theme Night Ideas.” These posts are intended to help you think creatively about how you can help students invite their friends out to a non-threatening event that will hopefully encourage them to participate in your ministry long term. We shared some commitments we make to our students in order to help them reach out to their peers, and some creative aspects to add to every event like food, students sharing, and shortened small group times.

Today, we’re sharing an event we only recently started hosting at our church: a Nerf night. This was something I never really got behind because I didn’t think Nerf would resonate with our students, especially our high schoolers, and our more reserved students. But we had a couple of small groups meeting at our church one week and they had a blast playing Nerf throughout the building. So much so, they were telling all of their friends and they were begging my team to host a youth group Nerf night.

I began to look into what this entailed, and it actually ended up coming together relatively easily and it cost less than I had suspected. So what does a Nerf event look like? Well, we have our Nerf night coming up later this month, and I would like to share with you a variety of tips and things to think through to prepare for and make this event a success.

1. Think about your space.

Knowing what you have and what you can use is key for these games. Sometimes less is more depending on the size of your group. Other times, utilizing bigger and more open spaces may be ideal. But knowing what you have at your disposal and how to best utilize it will allow you to create an event that students will love.

2. Provide eye protection.

Eye protection is key for games with projectiles. Some Nerf blasters, like the Rival line, can fire fast and hard, and even a smaller blaster at close range can do serious damage to someone’s eye. So having some safety glasses or googles is a must. A quick Amazon search brings up multiple varieties or a Google search will bring up sites that have various options as well. Just make sure you look at shipping costs and times when you place an order.

3. Supply extra blasters and darts.

Typically students have their own blasters, but some do not or won’t want to bring their own out of fear of them being broken. So having some extras on hand would be extremely helpful. They don’t need to be super expensive or battery operated; they can be simple one shot style blasters or off brand blasters. I’d also recommend supplying the darts for the game. That way students don’t have to struggle to find their darts after the game and it ensures you’ll have enough.

4. Have ways to delineate teams.

Whether it’s pinnies, bandannas, or hats, having a way for students to know who is on their team and who isn’t is key to the success of most games. In games where teams are necessary, having a visual means of identifying teammates and opposing teams will allow students to have more fun and build a stronger desire to participate. Even if you can’t get pinnies or bandannas, think about having different colored yarns attached to players or using colored paper that is taped to shirts as a means of identifying the teams.

5. Know your game styles.

I’ll be honest: the first time we held a Nerf battle I thought I had everything planned out perfectly. I had a PowerPoint with rules and game play, I made sure there was no way to get around the rules, and I thought I had fun ideas that would work well. It didn’t. After two rounds of the original style, I switched it up and we went to a more flexible style of game play. What I found out was my rules were too strict and the game play to detailed. My students wanted a quicker and less restrictive game play.

We switched to a “capture the flag” style game with jails for those who got hit with a dart. We also incorporated ways to get people out of jail to make it more fun and engaging. We have done free-for-all style games to end the night where no one actually gets out. We’ve done leaders versus students. We have had “protect the president” style games where one team’s goal is to get the president and the other team’s goal is to protect them at all costs. We’ve done games where each person on a team can only use one bullet at a time throughout the game.

Whatever you decide to do, don’t be afraid to switch it up if it isn’t landing with your students. And don’t be afraid to ask them what they would like to do because you might find out that they have really good ideas.

6. Make sure your rules are clear.

One of our big rules is no shooting blasters when we aren’t in a game scenario. If we are going over rules, eating snacks, or simply hanging out, students don’t have to wear their eye protection. We tell students they can’t shoot in these moments because we don’t want someone getting shot in the eyes. It can really hurt and damage parts of the eye so we want to be hyper-vigilant in that area. We also make sure that our game time rules are clear and that we have leaders who help to direct game play.

7. Call audibles when needed.

Sometimes our best laid plans can be blown out of the water. And this can only be exasperated by our inability or unwillingness to shift and change when needed. The first time we hosted our Nerf Night, I should have changed how we did it but I refused to audible.

We hosted it during the summer and were hoping for more students but only a small number of our group came out. We had reserved a large portion of church for the event and rather than slim down the area, we kept it the same size. This meant that students were running around for longer periods and spent much of the playing time simply standing around or looking for people. It still worked out in the long run, but it would have been a lot more fun if we had made the size of the space more appropriate to our numbers.

We learned from this and the next time we played, we narrowed the game play space down and it worked out amazingly. Our students were more excited, they were laughing, games went faster which meant more people could play, and overall our students continued to ask to do it again. Calling audibles isn’t always easy or fun for us, but it can make it more enjoyable and exciting for our students which means they will be more willing to invite their friends to the event.

8. Plan out your barricades and boundaries ahead of time.

I don’t know about your church, but at ours there are certain items and spaces that are off limits. We can’t use our preschool space and we can’t move things around in certain classrooms. That means we need to get creative with where we play and what we use for barricades. It would be helpful to think through this ahead of time so when you explain the rules you can help students know what they are and are not allowed to use. Because, and trust me on this, there is always at least one very creative student who will find a way to incorporate an item you never thought you’d have to have a rule about; like a push cart with a trash can lid.

Have you ever hosted a Nerf event before? What worked well for you?

New Series: Theme Night Ideas

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This week we’re introducing a new series we’ll share periodically called “Theme Night Ideas.” Our ministry hosts different events throughout the year that have a specific theme attached to them that help our students intentionally invite their friends into our ministry. And we want to share those ideas with you.

These nights aren’t all about the theme, but the theme is a big part of helping us draw in new students. We incorporate other elements such as snacks, a brief testimony or share time, and small groups, but not for as long as we normally would. The reason we still have those elements is because it is the DNA of our group; at our core we are a ministry and not just a fun place to hang out. So we want to make sure that these theme nights aren’t just about fun but also about Jesus and why students need Him. In order for these nights to be a success, we have promised our students four keys things:

1. We will never embarrass you or your friends.

In talking to students, they have made it clear that they are worried about inviting their friends to youth group because it will seem “weird” or “off-putting.” We know it can be hard for students to invite their friends so we want to make sure that we have a fun and safe space for them to invite their peers to without worrying that there will be embarrassment or awkwardness from our team and ministry.

2. We won’t force your friends into a commitment.

This means we won’t make students commit to a conversion experience nor will we force them to become a part of our ministry. That doesn’t mean we won’t share the Gospel or invite them back, it just means we won’t force or manipulate them to do so.

3. We will have fun.

Students want to invite their friends into a space that is spiritually encouraging and enriching, but also into a place that is fun and exciting. So we promise our students that their friends will have fun at these events and we look to deliver on that promise by what type of events we hold, the snacks and food we provide, and by how they are structured.

4. We will utilize more students for these events.

At these events, we want our students to be the ones inviting their friends and we want them to be the ones sharing with their friends. So that means we will have students helping to explain the event, getting their friends connected, and even sharing their testimonies on stage.

Join us next week for the first idea we’ll be sharing: Nerf Battles. In the mean time, have you hosted a theme night? What tips would you share from your experience?

How to Host a Respite Day

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One of the best parts of my job is working with our special needs ministry. I have the amazing privilege of overseeing a wonderful team of volunteers who love and guide our students in that ministry. Aside from being a ministry I believe every church should have (that’s another conversation for a later post), this is a ministry that truly brings me so much joy.

I started with the special needs ministry when the person overseeing it moved on to a different ministry organization. I’ll be honest and say that I was woefully ill-prepared and had no idea what I was doing. I had never been trained or taught about this while in school, and this is the first church that I have been to that actually has a special needs ministry.

So I went into my first meeting with the team and just asked questions and sought to learn. I dove into books, contacted churches who have special needs ministries, and sought to grow in my ability to walk with and disciple these amazing young people. Through all of that, I got to know my team and our students better and truly began to understand and have a heart for this ministry just like my leaders. And it was through one of my leaders that we began to host our Respite Days again.

Respite days were something our church hosted before COVID and before I started on staff, and honestly, I was a little nervous about hosting them. My mind ran toward all the liabilities, the different needs students had, the guidelines we needed, the number of volunteers, and so much more. If I am being honest though, it was fear that kept me from being willing to host these days in the beginning. Fear of the unknown and what-ifs. Fear of failing. Fear of letting down our students and families who already are marginalized and isolated.

But after some loving and continued prodding from my team, we hosted a respite day in January of this past year and it was a huge success! So much so that we are now hosting one in the summer, fall, and spring of each year. What I’d love to share with you today are a few key ways you can host your own respite day and how you can help ensure it is a success.

Have a sign up process.

The sign up process shouldn’t just be about gathering names, addresses, or other contact info, but about getting to know the students and their families. You should have options for understanding the students and their disabilities and how you can best care for them. You should also look to understand what their triggers are and how they interact with others. Doing this allows you to better serve, love, and care for the students. I’d also encourage you to have a place where you can ask the families if they have any prayer requests or needs, so you can assess whether your church can step in to help and walk with them.

Build a team.

One of the best things to have in place to make this a successful event is a quality team. Having people who understand students with special needs and how to love and care fore them is essential. But it’s also important to bring in people who simply love others well and care enough to learn and walk with them.

Utilize students.

Students with special needs often feel ostracized and alienated by their peers. And more often than not, students with special needs know that they are different and left out. So bringing in students to love and share in life with your group is a wonderful way to encourage them and help to build community. Seek out students who are good hosts and willing to spend time with others, and simply let them do that. Allow them to simply come and build relationships with their peers and to love on your special needs students.

Provide food.

Food is a natural way to lower walls and build community. Having snacks and a meal (if time allows) is a great way to make your environment welcoming and warm. But make sure that you know if certain foods or additives aren’t okay for your students. This is something that your intake form should have as a required question.

If parents don’t want their students having sugar, think about having fruit instead of fruit snacks. If they can’t have food dyes, look for more natural snacks. We have provided Goldfish crackers, pretzels, grapes, and Skinny Pop as snack items and we have had pizza and Chick-fil-A for meals. Whatever you choose, be intentional in what you pick to help make your atmosphere and the entire day feel special and celebratory.

Have a variety of activities.

In order for a respite day to be a success, it is highly important to have a lot of different activities to engage your special needs students. These could be Foosball, ping pong, four square, board games, puzzles, coloring and crafts, playing outside on a playground, drawing with chalk, watching a movie, or playing games on a Wii. We also provide fidget toys for our students who need them and we place them throughout the area we are using so they are ever-present.

We don’t necessarily structure our day with rigid timelines of what we want to do at specific times. Instead we have all the activities up and going to allow our students to engage organically with one another. We do make sure our leaders are present at each activity but we also allow students to choose their own adventure by picking what activity they would like to do.

Bless the families.

One thing I came to realize by serving with our special needs team is this: having a special needs child is extremely taxing and isolating. Most of these families feel alone and forgotten. And worst still, they don’t see churches as safe places for them or their kids. I’ve had multiple parents tell me they have been forced to leave a church as they were told their child wasn’t wanted because they are a disruption. These families are hurting and in need.

So if you’re able to, consider having gifts or gift bags for the students and for their families. For families, we write a card for them and include a gift card to a local restaurant along with information about our church and special needs ministry. For the students, we give new students The Biggest Story Bible by Kevin DeYoung, but everyone gets a gift bag with glow sticks, snacks, some fidget toys, stickers, colored pencils, a journal, sunglasses, and a special note to them from our special needs ministry team.

Utilize invitations.

When you are preparing to host a respite day make sure that you have invitations that you can use to invite people. Disperse them to your church community but also ask the families who have special needs students to invite their friends. Special needs families have their own communities and know one another well, so asking them to share the invitations will ensure that they invite their friends which will provide opportunities for unchurched people to step into your church.

Be hospitable.

Welcoming families as they arrive is key. There may be families who show up who have never been to your facility before, so having someone greet them is paramount to them feeling loved and accepted. Make sure your leaders have name tags and introduce themselves as they interact with the families to encourage them and to help them be put at ease as they leave their student with you.

Hospitality shouldn’t exist only when people arrive but also as students are picked up. Making sure you have a greeter and someone to walk parents and guardians back to their students is highly important and shows them that you value the safety and well-being of their child as well as caring for the parent.