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Communicating with Your Significant Other

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Elise and I have been married for over eleven years, and both of us would say our communication has evolved since we first got married. I can speak from my perspective and share that my communication didn’t just get better but was more of a roller coaster. There were times I communicated clearly and authentically with a desire for the relationship to grow and flourish. But there have also been times where I haven’t been a great communicator. I would shut down, I wouldn’t share my emotions, and I wouldn’t communicate well overall.

The reason I share this is not to create a “poor me” mentality, but to share with you that I get it. Communication can be hard. Communication takes work. Communication is necessary. My desire today is to share some lessons Elise and I have learned about communication in hopes of giving you some resources and an opportunity to learn sooner than we did in certain areas.

I will also say this: learning healthy communication isn’t just for those with significant others. While this post is written to that group of individuals, these truths and pieces of advice can be applied to all relationships.

Make sure to spend time together.

Let me explain this because I think a large portion of us would say a resounding “we do” to this statement. And while you may spend quantitative time, is it quality time? Were there screens involved? Did you communicate? Was there intimacy (not just sex but true, holistic intimacy)? Was the conversation meaningful? Did each person feel seen, heard, and loved? When we can answer those questions in the affirmative, then we are truly spending intentional time with our significant other.

Listen well.

Listening is a skill and an art. It takes time, intentionality, and practice to listen well. Listen not to solve problems, but to understand and know the other person. When you listen in that way, it makes the time purposeful and not simply about finishing the conversation or righting the issue.

When there is conflict, be willing to engage with it.

Please hear me on this: I’m not advocating for seeking out conflict. Please do not run and try to find issues or problems to turn into a bigger issue. Instead, we all know that in every relationship there will be some type of conflict. Some minor and some major. How you deal with that conflict is paramount to helping your relationship heal and thrive.

Don’t run from the conflict, don’t dismiss it, and don’t attack the other person. Instead remember who the conflict is with: your best friend. Remember what the goal is: it isn’t winning, it’s thriving together as one. When you put things in perspective, conflict doesn’t have to be bad but instead can be handled well where each party communicates, is seen and heard, and resolution begins.

Be mindful of your tone.

Our communication can often be changed by our tone and approach to it. If we come to the conversation with an agenda or a specific attitude, that will be communicated toward our significant other. We also need to be aware of how and why we are saying the things we are communicating. Sarcasm, critical or accusatory words, or even manipulative comments can be extremely detrimental to the relationship. When you’re mindful of your tone, you are going to truly be able to communicate and care well for one another.

Share authentically.

For some reason couples don’t always share how they are feeling. Whether they don’t feel they can, are trying to avoid conflict, or don’t know how, we must be able to be authentic in how we communicate. We need to share feelings, both good and bad. We need to take off the masks and be honest with each other. We need to be vulnerable and receive vulnerability well from one another. When you share authentically and value your spouse when they do, you are creating a safe and healthy space for your relationship to flourish and grow.

Quick Tip: Remember to See the Good

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Ministry gets hard sometimes. It can be critical comments from specific people. Elders and leadership making passive aggressive statements. Ineffective supervision. Lack of budget. Students not showing up. Burnout. Questioning of calling. Or whatever else is happening in your life or ministry.

Ministry is hard and when life gets hard we tend to become critical, biased, and we assume the worst. We think everyone is against us. Every comment made we take personally. We assume the worst about each situation. We believe our students don’t like us and don’t want to attend. Our hearts become calloused and we question our purpose and calling.

But what if we stopped for a moment and shifted our perspective? What if, instead of assuming the worst and only seeing the bad, we refocused and saw the good? Now I get it, that sounds easier said than done. I do not know your circumstances nor do I know your history. But we serve a good God who created this world and called it good. Yes, this is a broken and fallen world, but there is still good in it.

Instead of focusing on the bad, the frustrations, the tensions, what if you refocused and saw the good? I’m not saying we simply walk through life pretending like everything is okay. Instead I’m advocating for seeing things through a God-oriented lens that helps us to look beyond the tension and see what He sees.

For instance, maybe students weren’t paying attention during your lesson. Instead of being mad or frustrated about that, rejoice in the fact that there were students present. Rather than sit and stew in the comments made by your supervisor, seek to understand and adapt. Even if you don’t see eye to eye, continue to pursue what God has called you to and find joy in what He is doing.

Budgets or lack thereof can cause a lot of tension, but instead of seeing limitations, look to see opportunities and new ways of accomplishing what you’d like to do. Instead of allowing negative or passive aggressive comments to weigh on you, seek out godly and authentic voices in your life and rest in the truth of what they say over the rumblings and grumblings of a few. Remember that you serve God not man, and they will stand before God to give an account.

Another thing to remember as you look to see the good is to consider what good are you providing. We have an obligation to be doing good because God has called each of us to be purveyors of the Good News and to love others as He does! Therefore, we need to make sure that even if others aren’t doing or seeing good in us, we still need to be doing good and seeing good in others (yes, that includes even those who don’t do or see good in you).

Often when things aren’t going our way or difficulty abounds, we can become negative and only see the bad and wrongs in our world, our church, and in people. But when we refocus our eyes, minds, and hearts on what God’s heart is all about, it guides us back to what we should be doing: loving God and loving others.

When we focus on doing and seeing good, it re-frames how we approach things. It reshapes how we engage with others. And it reshapes our heart in a way that mirrors our Savior’s. This is not easy. Not at all. But when we approach life and relationships in this way, when we strive to see and do good as a reflection of Jesus, trust me when I say that you will begin to grow and mature in ways you have never experienced. Don’t give up, don’t get weighed down; look for the good and trust God in the process.

5 Steps to Picking Curriculum

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When it comes to what you are teaching, have you ever stopped to ask why you’re teaching what you are teaching? Or have you ever thought about the purpose of the lessons as they pertain to your vision and mission? Does what you’re teaching align with the general flow and direction in which your church is going? How does what you are teaching actually impact your students and help them to think about both internal and external applications of biblical truth?

Phew. Sounds heavy doesn’t it? You probably thought we would simply tell you to pick and teach what best suits your students. Yes, there is an element of that which is true, but we must be more intentional and thoughtful in what we choose to teach and why. Let me share with you some things to consider when choosing a curriculum and the direction it will take your students.

1. Choose a curriculum that will meet your students where they are at.

Each ministry is different and knowing what your students are experiencing and what they need will greatly increase your opportunity to reach and care for them. For instance, if your students are wrestling with grief and loss it may be a good idea to dig into a series on the Psalms or the hope that God offers us.

2. If using pre-made curriculum, don’t use it as is.

This is a big thing I always encourage younger youth pastors with: if you purchase a curriculum don’t just use it as is. Tweak it to reach your students. Make the stories and illustrations your own. Update the Bible passages to the translation your group uses. What you are doing is making this personal and relatable to both yourself and your group which helps them engage and process what is being shared at a deeper level.

3. Make sure your curriculum aligns with your mission and vision.

This is a big piece of choosing your curriculum. If it doesn’t align or communicate the heart and vision of your ministry and church, there’s a good possibility you shouldn’t utilize it. So be aware of what you’re selecting by reading through descriptions and content. Weigh the main points and applications and consider the implications for your group.

4. Look for opportunities to take your students deeper and wider.

Some curriculum can be pretty light on content and depth when it comes to Scripture and its application. In order to help your students grow and develop as disciples of Jesus, it is important to challenge them and have them think critically about what God’s Word says and its application for their lives. That means choosing and crafting curriculum that will challenge them to do just that. Pick topics and content that challenges their way of thinking, pushes them outside of their comfort zones, and helps them to think deeper about who they are in Christ.

5. Be willing to make your own.

Ultimately you know what your group needs to hear and you know your context and setting. That means you can discern what curriculum your group needs. But the reality is that sometimes there isn’t a curriculum that works for what is needed in your context. So, be willing to make your own when needed. Yes this may be more labor intensive but it may be the best thing for your students.

Quick Tip: What to Look For in Volunteers

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I don’t know about you but recruitment is hard sometimes! This year we only had to get a handle of new leaders but it feels like we struggled to find them and we still haven’t filled all the gaps.

In these situations it may seem easy to just take the next warm body, but that can be problematic for a litany of reasons. Instead we need to be selective and intentional in who we bring in to walk with and disciple our students.

Today, I want to share with you some key things to look for when you are searching for new volunteers, but keep in mind this is not all-inclusive. Things like meshing well with co-leaders, passing background checks, being on the same page doctrinally, and many other pieces matter. This is simply meant to be a quick checklist as you begin to interview potential volunteers to make sure they could fit within the context, vision, and expectations of the ministry.

Know their faith story.

When you meet someone make sure you know they have a relationship with Jesus and are tracking with Him. There are times we may be tempted to not ask those questions for a variety of reasons, but having clarity on this is key as they are leading students to be followers of Jesus. It is also a good idea to ask them if they could share the Gospel with you so you can gain an understanding of their knowledge and comfortability on that.

Don’t look for clones of yourself.

This is key, and I cannot stress this enough: your ministry does not need more yous. It needs a variety of personalities, backgrounds, gifts, and faith stories because your students are not clones of you. That means they relate to other people differently and perhaps better than they do to you.

So stacking your team with a variety of people with strengthen your ministry and allow for your students to grow and flourish in ways you haven’t seen before. As a brief aside, even with differences make sure there is still unity, teamwork, and collaboration. Don’t sacrifice those things to simply bring in different people.

Look for heart and passion.

Heart and passion are things you cannot teach someone. Skills like leading with another leader, teaching, listening well, and running games can all be taught. Listen for why they want to serve and what their desires and purpose are for serving. This will help you to know the individual, their heart, and their rationale for serving.

Seek alignment with the vision and mission of the ministry.

I’ve talked with many people who have wanted to serve with students but their values and ours did not align. I’ll never forget when a potential volunteer stated that the purpose of being a leader was to talk at students and for them to listen to all of the leader’s knowledge. That individual wasn’t joking either. When I began to share our philosophy and vision they self selected and said “I don’t think this is for me.” And they were right.

Our vision and theirs did not align and if there isn’t alignment that can and will cause future issues to develop down the road. I’m not saying people can’t change, but be willing to investigate and see if there is any flexibility or opportunity for growth in order to ensure alignment on key aspects.

Find people who are excited about Jesus and students.

This should go without saying but we want people who love Jesus and are passionate about Him and who also love students! When those two pieces come together, you will start to see immense growth among your students as they are being loved and discipled in the way Jesus has intended. Why? Because we are modeling the metric that Jesus gave to us: love God and love people. When we do this well we start to see life change happen!

Seek those with a willingness to grow and help others grow.

Looking for people who are learners and want to grow in their knowledge and wisdom is key to having a successful ministry. Look for people who are willing to engage with topics, come to training sessions, and learn new things. But also look for people who will help others to grow because of their knowledge, background, and skill sets. You are building the strength of your ministry by having these individuals on your team and that will help your team better minister to your students.

Quick Tip: Having Personal Boundaries

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Have you ever been interrupted on your day off with something from work? Do you answer phone calls at all times or do you keep boundaries? Do you struggle to figure out what takes priority when you aren’t in-office: family or work concerns?

Please don’t hear me as being critical because I’m not. I get it. For many years I didn’t have healthy work-life boundaries. I tried to convince myself that I did but it took a mental health leave of absence to realize that I didn’t. I used to check emails and respond to them on vacation. I was always checking social media. If texts came through, I’d respond.

It was all-consuming even when I had convinced myself it wasn’t. And for those who serve in ministry, we will often struggle with finding a healthy balance. We know our calling and we care for our people, but that cannot be our only focus nor should it be. Today, I want to share a few quick ways to have healthy boundaries.

Remember the order of your priorities.

You are called first to focus on your relationship with God and your holistic health, then to focus on your family, and then focus on your ministry. When these priorities are out of order you will find yourself out of sorts as well. And when these are left in an out-of-order scope and sequence, you will find yourself fully depending on you, not on God, and your boundaries being stretched further and further.

Utilize “do not disturb” and turn off notifications on your devices.

Removing the interruption of electronics is one of the best things you can implement to help incorporate healthy boundaries. This doesn’t mean you’ll never respond, but it does remove the tension, anxiety, and pressure that comes with always being connected. When you utilize these features, you can be fully present in the moment and with those who matter most.

Take work apps off your phone.

This may be easier said than done for some because it may be a requirement. Technically a job cannot force you to have apps on your phone unless they are paying for said phone, but enough about technicalities. My point here is this: if the apps are keeping you focused on work and pulling you away from intentional moments with those closest to you or keeping you from truly resting and taking a sabbath, that is a problem. Instead, take them off of your phone or at the very least turn off the notifications. And yes, that goes for your work email too.

Screen calls and texts.

No matter what, there will be times you get calls and texts, even on your day off. But not every call or text necessitates an instantaneous response. Instead use wisdom and discernment to diagnose which calls or texts warrant a response, and decide how quick those responses should be.

Talk about and make your boundaries clear.

This is something I wish pastors and ministry leaders did more often. We must regularly and openly talk about our boundaries. If we are calling people into a holistic life-changing relationship with Jesus, we should be modeling that not just in action but also in our speech. We need to talk about how we are creating margin and looking to refresh and take sabbath because that shows our people how important it is. This then gives them permission to do the same. It also helps our people to understand that while we love and care for them, we cannot be all things to all people; only Jesus can be that. What you are doing is highlighting personal, relational, and spiritual boundaries that allow you to create rhythms and margin to be the holistic pastor and shepherd you need to be.

Quick Tip: When & How to Refer Out

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We’ve all experienced a moment when we have had a student ask us a question or we are faced with a situation we don’t know how to handle. Whether we aren’t equipped or trained to handle it, or if it’s due to a lack of understanding or life experience, we have all faced this in some capacity.

But let me ask you a question: when you were in that moment, how did you respond? Did you do your best to give some type of reasonably decent advice? Did you frantically consult your commentaries or Google? Did you pull out a passage of Scripture like Jeremiah 29:11? Did you consider referring the student or circumstance to someone else?

Hear me out: I know there are circumstances and situations that warrant our immediate attention regardless of training. But what I am talking about is referring or deferring when necessary. In many cases this is not just the best option but an amazing resource and help to you and all those involved.

So what are some ways to help us refer to the individuals, ministries, and resources that will help those we are shepherding?

Know your community.

When you know what resources and capabilities are available in your community it affords you the knowledge you need to help others. Consider connecting with local hospitals, clinics, and mental health facilities as well as local doctors. You can also connect with local first responders, teachers, food distribution agencies, and support networks that help students.

Build relationships.

As you get to know your community, you’re building relationships that allow you to know the available resources and how they can best help your people. It also allows you to best see which people and organizations align with your church and ministry. As you build those relationships, you are also building a rapport that allows for you and your ministry to have a deeper relationship and opportunities for help with your resources. Building relationships allow for you to not only know your community but also to show them that you value and appreciate them.

Utilize resources in your churches.

Church congregations include individuals who are qualified in many different skills and careers that can be extremely beneficial to helping your ministry. Assistance may also come from other ministries that your church offers like a food or clothing bank, a financial assistance ministry, or even counselors in your church. Students may need a variety of resources and the more you are aware of what your church offers and who is within it, the better equipped you will be to serve your people.

Acknowledge your areas of expertise and growth.

When you know your skills and limitations, it helps to frame what agencies and resources you most need to connect with to help your people. So take an honest assessment of yourself and then seek to grow your network accordingly.

Continue to grow and educate yourself.

As you know your skill sets, seek to grow in the areas you aren’t as strong in. This doesn’t necessarily qualify you in all moments, but it helps you to continue to grow and care well for your people.

Quick Tip: Have Fun

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There have been moments on a Wednesday night or Sunday morning for me when all I can see are the tasks, objectives, and the schedule. I can get hyper-focused on trying to get things accomplished and staying on task that I just lose sight of the bigger, more important aspects of student ministry. One of the things I can miss is “having fun.”

I can blame this on my personality (I am an I/C in the DISC) or a litany of other things, but I know the nights I miss out on the fun because it feels like things just didn’t work. When we miss out on the fun, we miss out on relational opportunities, conversations, and bridge-building moments with our students and leaders. When we have fun it makes us more approachable and relatable to our students.

It’s easy to get caught up with accomplishing all the tasks and focusing on any of a variety of circumstances that demand our attention. But should we miss having fun in our career and ministry, we will surely miss out on the beauty of what God has called us to.

So in thinking about having fun, here are few key things to remember:

  • Laugh often. Tell jokes, laugh at yourself (especially when you get spiked on in 9 Square), be willing play with your group, and smile often. The more you laugh, the more fun you’ll have.
  • Don’t take things or yourself too seriously. Yes, you are a leader and yes, you are entrusted with walking with your students and volunteers, but remember the relationships are key here. That means while you can take your job and calling seriously, you don’t need to do the same to yourself. Keep approaching students at their level, don’t be so pulled back they can’t relate, and be willing to just be a part of your community.
  • Be willing to be yourself. Students don’t want or need someone who isn’t being themselves or is trying to emulate another person. They want you, and you are unique and special. So bring your personality, your humor, and your joy to the table. When you can be you, you can truly have a blast!
  • Remember who you work with. Students are hilarious! If you didn’t know that, here’s a friendly heads up. They say and do things that are absolute hysterical, whether it was intentional or not. You never know what they will say or do and that leads to some memorable moments that will make you laugh (maybe even out loud).

Quick Tip: Know Your Leaders

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A while back I was challenged by a post a friend had written. The gist of the post was a reminder not to forget about people around you. Now let me stop there and have you consider something: do you see all your leaders? Do you include them all?

Now I know my knee-jerk reaction to those questions is “yes,” but if I’m honest with you I didn’t always, and I sometimes still miss things. Let me give you an example. Ask yourself this question: do all your leaders drink coffee? If not, should you invite them to meet up “for a cup of coffee?” If not, do you provide alternatives for them when coffee is present (i.e., at meetings, training, leader lounge, etc.)?

Again I hear you on this one. It seems like such a small thing, but truly what is at the heart of this matter is knowing your leaders. When you know them, they feel known and seen and loved. The key is not just seeing them as volunteers but getting to know who they are and doing life with them.

Start by getting to know them. Hang out with them. Grab dinner, a beer, coffee or tea. Take a group outing together. Host a leader game night. Sit with them at church. These moments help you truly know them and foster meaningful relationships.

Create a leader questionnaire. I know this may seem a little clinical, but if you have a larger volunteer team this could be a great way to find out helpful information. Ask questions like:

  • What’s your favorite candy bar?
  • If I got a gift to this restaurant, I’d be really excited:
  • My favorite cold weather drink is…
  • When some does (fill in the blank) I feel seen and loved.
  • What food allergies do you have?
  • How can we pray for you?

Make sure to regularly check in with your leaders. Whether it’s a text, meeting up once a month, grabbing a bite out, or writing them a note, letting your volunteers know you care by checking in helps them to know that they are loved and cared for through an intentional and thoughtful moment.

Another key piece of knowing your leaders is knowing their food allergies. I have a few leaders and an intern who are highly allergic to nuts. A simple way of showing we know our leaders is we don’t put out anything with nuts at training, and if we do gift bags with candy in them we get them special items that don’t have nuts. But it isn’t just people with nut allergies we should be thinking about. There are people who can’t have gluten or dairy, people with allergies to shellfish (but on what youth ministry budget), people who can’t have soy. If you find out this information, you’re going to help people who often feel dismissed or forgotten feel loved and seen.

Lastly, regularly ask them how they are doing and how you can pray for them. Sounds simple right? But this is a huge part of you knowing and caring for your leaders. When you can ask them how work has been, how their family is doing (bonus if you know the names of their family members), what they have been doing to breathe and pause, how their relationship with Jesus is, and how you can pray for them, your leaders are going to feel so appreciated and known. But don’t just ask the question, make sure to actually follow up as well. Don’t let this just be a check mark on the board, but be intentional and make sure that you engage further.

How to Make Leader Training Fun

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Let’s be honest for a moment: we have all been to a training session that has been boring. It could’ve been an information dump, a boring speaker, stuff we knew, or the environment was not conducive to training, which made us fall asleep. I’m not saying I have done that, but I’m also not saying I haven’t.

The reality is, we all have experienced a training that has made us want to fall asleep or has bored us to tears. Now let me ask you a question: what would people say about your training sessions? Are they boring or are they fun? Do people enjoy going to them or do they treat them like the plague? Have people fallen asleep during your trainings or are they engaged?

We must seek to make our training sessions fun and beneficial. The more fun elements you include the more people will engage and buy-in to the training because they are enjoying themselves. So what are some quick and easy ways to make training fun?

Theme the training.

A theme is something that I’ve only recently started to incorporate. A couple of years ago one of our church staff members asked me what type of theme our training had. To be honest, I was a little embarrassed to admit I’d never thought of that. But after listening to this staff member, I began to understand why a theme is important. It shows that your team is valued and needed, it makes people feel seen, it makes the training more inviting and engaging, and it brings fun into the mix.

You don’t need to go all out, but you could if you wanted to. The theme could be as easy as searching Pinterest for ideas and doing what you’re able to do in light of your available resources. Consider searching for “teacher gifts” and using that as a launching point. This year we took the theme of “You’re crushing it” and added a note to Crush sodas for each leader. We continued the theme by getting clementines and jelly fruit slices to put out on the tables. The theme was also carried into our PowerPoint and notes we handed out.

Provide food.

Food is a must. You don’t need to provide a full meal if you aren’t able to, but even having snacks or treats on the tables elevates the training and valuing of your people. We always try to center our trainings around a meal because it lowers walls and fosters conversations, and it shows our people that we care about them. This could be as simple as pizza from a local shop, a home cooked meal, or small bags of chips and candy on the tables.

Play games.

I don’t know about your leaders but mine tend to be hyper-competitive, even more so than our students sometimes. We know they love to laugh and have fun, so whenever we can, we try to incorporate a game for them to play. Sometimes it’s a PowerPoint game, other times it’s a game like charades, or even a team-building game. Whatever it is, I would encourage you to play along, laugh with them, and have some sort of prize for the winner. This makes it more engaging and highlights that fun is a value of your ministry.

Utilize conversation and collaboration.

Training sessions where the speaker drones on and on get a little bit monotonous. Okay, a lot. So when you break up the speaking and engage with your team and invite them into the conversation, you’re opening up collaboration which values and affirms them. Think about breaking people into groups and asking the groups to share with the large group after they have finished. Allow for feedback on topics from your team. Open up the floor for Q&A. These types of moments are critical to not only making your training successful but for valuing your people and helping them to know that they are a part of the team.

Bring in new skills.

Doing the same training over and over again can get, well, boring. I get it, there are some things we have to train on all the time (i.e. safety measures, protecting students from abuse, background checks, transportation, etc.), but we also should bring in new aspects to leading well that can help our leaders continue to grow and flourish.

Think about spiritual gift assessments, personality training, studying the Bible, training on cultural trends and narratives, navigating difficult relationships, dealing with misbehaving students, handling a crisis, soul care, and leading well. All of these are simply starting points but the more we seek to equip and train our leaders with new skills, the better suited they will be to love, lead, and care for their students.

Don’t always be the trainer.

This is a big piece of training. You don’t always have to be the trainer! Bringing in new voices will not only help people hear things in a new and exciting way, but you are also bringing in people with different skill sets and expertise that you may not have. This could be another staff member, a community member, a counselor, a volunteer, a leader in the community, or whomever else would be beneficial to help your leaders grow. My only caution is that you make sure they know your vision and mission and that what they share aligns with your values.

Quick Tip: Admitting When You Mess Up

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Alright, I’ll admit it. This last week I made a huge goof. Earlier in the summer we let all of our leaders know when our fall training would be and many of them were excited because we had reserved an amazing offsite venue. It is perfect and it meets all of our needs.

But here’s the problem: I gave my team of volunteers the wrong date. I actually told them it was a week later than when we had reserved the location. When I realized my mistake (which was way too late) I hastily fired off a text saying I sent the wrong date and here’s the correct one. But I did so with less than a week’s notice. This ended up frustrating many of our volunteers, it meant multiple leaders couldn’t attend because they specifically reserved the previous date on their calendars, and it caused a lot of tension and questions.

Long story short, we ended up working with the venue and we were able to keep our original training dates but not without me causing a lot of unnecessary tension and frustration. I messed up, and I know that in the big scheme of things it wasn’t that big of an issue, but I still messed up and it caused people to have frustration and tension. So I knew I had to apologize. I had made a mistake, multiple ones in fact, and I needed to own that.

And you know what happened? My leaders understood. They laughed about it. They poked fun at me in loving ways. They showed up to training. They still love our ministry and students. They are still serving.

Here’s the thing though: when it comes to mistakes, we as leaders need to live out what Jesus commands us to do and that is to seek forgiveness when we mess up. Yes, even we as leaders mess up, we aren’t immune to that. When we mess up we must take ownership and lead out of humility and a willingness to admit our wrongs. A good leader is one who will admit when they mess up and seeks to right the wrong.

Now please hear me in this: I am speaking in broad terms. We must always lead from a posture of humility and seek forgiveness when we mess up. But there are also times when we need to submit to authority over us because of our wrong and regardless of what we have done, face the consequences.

We are still broken people who are trying to lead as God has called us, but we aren’t immune from making mistakes, both small and large. Look to model Christ’s approach to leadership and you will find that when it comes to admitting wrong and seeking forgiveness, while it may not be easy, you’ll be more comfortable and willing to do so.

All that to say, the greatest two words you can ever utilize in ministry are, “I’m sorry.” Don’t be afraid or unwilling to use them.