Blog

Resource: FYI Report on Youth Leader Burnout & Wellbeing

Posted on by Leave a comment

I love getting resources whether they are digital or physical. I’m the guy who is always signing up to get newsletters, promotional materials, and always looking for a free t-shirt or hat. But aside from the random freebies and additions to my closet, I’m also on the lookout for resources that help me grow as a youth pastor, an individual, and as a disciple of Jesus.

One of the resources I recently obtained had to do with the holistic health of student pastors, put out by the Fuller Youth Institute. Back in the days of the Youth Specialities annual conference, I signed up to receive their emails and digital resources, and I can honestly say I’ve never been disappointed with what they send.

This last week I had an email from FYI pop into my inbox with this title: “🚨 ALERT: High burnout month ahead!” I’ll be honest, the title immediately grabbed my attention and upon reading it I saw that it contained an amazing free resource. The “FYI Report on Youth Leader Burnout & Wellbeing” is available as a free download at this link. You will need to enter your name and email info, but I can promise you that it is totally worth it.

Right on the sign up page for the free download, Fuller Youth Institute gives you a brief preview of what’s in their report. It includes “the latest research on the experiences of today’s youth leaders, firsthand insight and stories, tips for developing strategies, and practical recommendations.” What I can tell you is if you thought that sounds good, the report is a hundred times better.

Fuller’s report is constructed in an easy-to-read way, filled with stats and solid research, punctuated by real life experiences from many different youth leaders, investigative in its approach, and encouraging and challenging in its challenge to youth leaders, churches, and church staff. At the end of the day this report is encouraging because while it focuses on the realities of burnout amongst youth workers, it doesn’t claim that as the end result.

Instead, it highlights how we can overcome and avoid that result so we can thrive in our roles. The encouragement to pastors and church leaders is also beneficial as it provides them with thoughtful and practical ways to come alongside youth workers as they walk with them and encourage them.

All in all, this is an amazing resource to read through and be aware of. The end game may still be a struggle, especially if you don’t have support in your role. But this report helps you to see you aren’t alone and provides solid responses to help you thrive in your position.

It also equips you with resources to highlight the necessity of partnership within the church that may help others come alongside of you. I just wouldn’t recommend passive aggressively placing this in your senior pastor’s mailbox. Instead, consider sharing it with them over coffee or lunch, or doing the same with an elder or two. The more relationally intentional you are in sharing this with leadership, the greater the potential they will listen and respond.

So what are you waiting for? Go download this report now!

7 Reasons to Conduct Mission Trip Interviews

Posted on by Leave a comment

It’s been a very busy couple of weeks for my team and me. We recently launched applications for our summer mission trips and now we are conducting interviews. That means a lot more hours added into our weekly schedules to be able to intentionally meet with each applicant before we confirm they are on the team.

I know some of you may read this and go, “You do applications and interviews for a mission trip?! That’s intense and a lot of extra work!” Believe me I hear you on that. It does add a little more weightiness to applying for the trip and it does add more to our schedules. But there very clear wins and benefits to requiring an application and interview.

1. It helps us know our team better.

This is a big one for me because of the size of our youth group. I don’t know all of my students as well as I wish I could, so these moments help me to get to know them on a deeper level.

Regardless of the size of youth group, interview and application questions help you understand more about your students, their faith journeys, their strengths and weaknesses, and their reasons for joining the team.

2. It provides insight into how we structure our training.

When you get to know your team better it allows you to shape how your training looks. If you know your team needs to be equipped in better interpersonal skills, you can incorporate team building moments that focus on communicating and relationship building. If your team needs to understand more about sharing their faith or ministering in a different environment, you can focus in on equipping them.

These interviews allow you to better understand your team and shape the training to make this trip the most beneficial for them.

3. It generates buy-in.

Having an application and/or interview process generates buy-in because it requires effort and intentionality on the part of the applicant. The process doesn’t need to be crazy long but it should require thoughtful and intentional responses and highlight the importance of the trip. These moments help to ensure your team has the right reasons for going and that they understand what is expected of them.

4. It humanizes the process.

Sometimes just going through a sign-up process or application can feel clinical. But when you add in a face-to-face interview it allows you to put the process on a more personal level and gives you the opportunity to be intentional with your students.

I have found that on applications and in interviews students are incredibly honest about themselves. That affords us the opportunity to truly care for and walking alongside our students in highly relational and intentional ways throughout the trip and beyond.

5. It allows us to see strengths and pressure points.

Part of my rationale in conducting interviews is it allows me to get to know my team better and it highlights pressure points and strengths that each member brings to the table. In understanding that, I am able to see potential opportunities and flare ups that may come up during the training and/or the trip itself. This helps me to both prepare and engage with those responses in proactive ways rather than having to be reactive in the moment.

6. It helps us prepare for interpersonal relationships and conflicts.

This is similar to the previous point, but it takes it a step further and looks specifically at the relational moments that will occur. If you’ve ever gone on a trip with students or witnessed them interact at youth group, you know that there are moments where there is tension, differing personalities, and conflicts.

Now put those components into the context of a mission trip. Emotions are heightened, spiritual growth is happening in rapid succession, students are confronted with their own humanity and necessity for God, lack of sleep, new environments, and all the feels and it can seem like a powder keg is about to blow up. But when you conduct interviews it enables you to see where those potential flare ups may be and therefore allows you to prepare and/or circumvent them beforehand.

7. It helps us as leaders prepare for the trip.

Mission trip interviews take a long time and add a lot more to my schedule. But hear me out on this: while it makes a few weeks busier for me, it actually makes the trips easier. Why? Because I am better prepared.

I know my team. I know more about what needs to be done to equip the team. I have a better understanding of what the dynamics will be during the trip. I have insight into each person and how to care well for them. All of these things empower me to be a better leader and to be more equipped to lead my team well.

Have you done trip interviews before? What’s your go-to question?

Quick Tip: Giving Students Ownership

Posted on by Leave a comment

We are preparing for a special immersive experience the week before Easter for our student ministry. Our church creates a walkthrough Easter Experience that leads people through a wonderful interactive engagement with the story of Easter and the profound truths of the Gospel.

We have tried a few times to provide opportunities for our students to walk through the experience, but they haven’t worked out for a variety of reasons. This year we think we have it figured out: we are creating interactive stations and opportunities for our students to engage with what they learned alongside of their small groups.

One of the elements we are seeking to incorporate into this evening is a time of musical worship. But here’s the problem: my staff team isn’t equipped or gifted in leading worship. So we were faced with a conundrum: who will lead this?

Our worship teams are extremely busy with Easter, so we couldn’t ask them. Most people we talked to were busy that week. Then it hit us; we have students who are gifted musicians, so why not give them the opportunity? We talked to a handful of students and they jumped at the opportunity to serve and lead their peers in this way.

You want to know what happened in that moment? I was reminded that when students are given the opportunity, they will rise to the occasion. When presented with the ability to lead and disciple their peers our students are ready, willing, and capable to stand up and lead as disciples of Jesus.

Students are powerhouses when you give them the opportunity. Yes, they are young and immature. Yes, this may cause you a bit more work and require flexibility. And yes, at times they will fail. But how is this different from anyone else, including ourselves?

When given the opportunity, and with the right guidance, students can and will rise to the occasion. My encouragement today is simply this: give them ownership. Give them a chance.

When you afford students the opportunity to own their youth group you are generating excitement, buy-in, and unity for your ministry. Students who can take a leadership role will invite their peers. They will seek to help others be a part of your vision, mission, and values. And they will develop into the leaders you have been longing for.

This isn’t a mindset for a certain type or size of student ministry. This is an opportunity and a calling to invest in the next generation in tangible ways. This can and will look different from ministry to ministry, but we must ask ourselves if we are doing this.

Are we developing our students into leaders and providing them with ownership of our ministries? When we do this, we had better be ready, because I can promise you one thing for certain: God will move in and through these students and we will see them shake the world for His kingdom.

Quick Tip: Preparing Your Budget

Posted on by Leave a comment

Depending how your church’s fiscal calendar works, you may be in the early stages of preparing your budget for the next year. Our church just walked through preliminary budget conversations with each ministry and this year we had to start from scratch and account for each budget line.

This may sound tedious and scary, but our team has done well at tracking our budget and accounting for all of our expenses over the past few years so building from the ground up was not as difficult as it may seem. But when we heard that we had to account for everything and substantiate why it was needed for the ministry, it caused us to pause and wonder if budgets were going to be cut.

Typically budget meetings, especially for youth ministries, can be scary because we wonder if leadership will understand why we need to buy dozens of pool noodles, seemingly unlimited boxes of Cheetos, and hundreds of water balloons. But we promise, these are all absolutely necessary.

Kidding aside, these moments can feel super scary because there is a reason and rationale for why we ask for our budget, and we worry that if it’s cut our students and families will feel the fallout and affects. So how do we try to keep that from happening? Is there a way we can still maintain our budgets and find a way to help leadership see the necessity of what we are asking?

Well, today I want to share a couple quick tips that I have utilized when preparing a budget submission or conversation.

First, know why you’re asking for what your budget reflects.

Sometimes you’ll get asked questions about why certain line items are there or why exactly you’re requesting a certain amount for a budget line. Knowing your answers and being able to confidently share your reasoning will help to explain your budget and your rationale.

Second, aim high and shoot low.

My encouragement is to go into these meetings with a budget that you would dream of having. Don’t go in being greedy, but go in asking for what you’d dream of having for student ministries. In the same moment, go in with a realistic expectation as well. You may not be able to purchase three 9 Square sets, but you may be able to get one. That’s an example of aiming high, but knowing that the realities may be different.

Third, be a good steward of your current and next budget.

Part of being a leader in a ministry is practicing good stewardship. We need to appropriately manage the funds that God has provided us with through His church, and that means we need to steward our current and future budgets well.

We shouldn’t spend frivolously or haphazardly, but instead should honor our budget and let that be reflected in how we spend it. This may mean that questions or statements may come like, “You did okay with less last year,” but this is where we can explain why we are asking for something different this year.

Lastly, focus on what matters.

I am not saying to simply focus on what matters when you create your budget but also if your budget isn’t approved for what you wanted. When you build your budget for your ministry always do so with your vision and the Gospel in mind as you seek to love and care for your students and families. And should your budget not get approved or be altered, remember that budgets aren’t ultimate. Yes, they allow for us to do things and to scale the ministry, but they don’t allow us or keep us from fulfilling the calling God has placed on our lives.

Seek to work within the context and budget that has been stewarded to you and as you do that, remember that everything you have is a gift from God to you. With this frame of reference, our perspective and understanding of utilizing our budget is shaped differently and helps us to seek to honor God in all aspects of our careers.

Quick Tip: Share the Stage

Posted on by Leave a comment

I’ll be honest, I love teaching, speaking, and preaching. It’s one of the areas I think God has gifted me in and I love to help others learn about Jesus, the Bible, and the practical applications and truths it has for our lives.

But here’s the thing: because I love it so much there have been moments where I wasn’t always willing—whether consciously or subconsciously—to share that space. That’s hard to admit because I know it shut out people who not only wanted to teach, but were exceptionally gifted communicators who should be teaching.

There are people in our churches whom God has gifted with the ability to teach and speak, and we should honor them and God by affording them the opportunity to do so. We can look at all the excuses and try to rationalize away why they shouldn’t (no formal training, no degree, not a pastor, etc.). But who are we to stand in the way of who God has gifted and called?

Instead, we need to help develop and nurture our people so the body of Christ can be what it is meant to be. We need to help ensure a variety of voices are heard, different people of different backgrounds are invited to speak. We need to provide opportunities for people with different perspectives to share with our congregants. These moments allow our students to learn and grow in different ways, through different mediums, offered by unique and different voices.

A word of insight as it relates to sharing the stage: we shouldn’t just haphazardly allow for anyone to speak, but instead we should help shape and prepare people for those moments. We should walk alongside, guide and pour into them, and help them practice, prepare, and debrief. These intentional moments allow us to pour into and lovingly shepherd our people to use their gifts and abilities to help the church flourish and grow.

So from one person who loves to teach and preach to another, share the stage. Invite new and differing voices in. Create a culture of opportunity and allow for your students to hear and learn through the broader body of Christ.

Quick Tip: Knowing When to Cancel Programming

Posted on by Leave a comment

Have you ever had to wrestle with knowing when to cancel programming or even if you should? I’ve worked in a variety of church settings with different perspectives and rationales on this topic. Some advocated for never cancelling, some had specific parameters for when you should, and still others put the choice in ministry leaders’ hands.

Today, my desire is to provide you with some perspective for when you should cancel programming. Granted, this must align with your leadership’s guidance and perspective so this may not be as simple as just cancelling programming. It may entail multiple conversations with leadership prior to ever having to cancel. It may also mean trying to find a middle ground.

This post is simply meant to provide a framework for you and to help alleviate some of the guess work that goes along with cancelling. So when should you cancel programming?

When weather is a factor.

Depending where you live this may not be as big of a deal as it may be for others. Living in places that get snow, have hills, and are prone to drastic temperatures swings has left us having to cancel more than once. This isn’t because we are scared of snow, cold, ice, heavy rain and flooding. It’s because we are being intentional in keeping our students, families, and volunteers safe. If safe travel is an issue and if the weather is being uncooperative, it is best to cancel to keep everyone safe.

Lack of volunteers.

This is not to say that if you don’t have volunteers you can’t have programming. But if you don’t have enough to safely run programming and care well for your students, it may be necessary to suspend programming for that day.

When schools cancel classes and/or activities.

A great metric for cancelling is looking at what schools are doing. Did they close for weather? Was there an early dismissal? Are afternoon and evening activities happening? These are key metrics to help determine if you should cancel programming.

When there’s illness going around.

This is one that you need to keep an eye on because depending on the sickness it could spread quickly in your group. Many of us unfortunately learned this during 2020. But if there’s a stomach bug, the flu, Norovirus, Covid, or really any nasty bug it may be advantageous to cancel programming.

We have done this a few times because we had highly contagious bugs going around and rather than potentially add to the spread (and put our immunocompromised people at greater risk) we have opted to cancel.

Around holidays.

We cancel programming around Christmas and Easter because we know many families are extra busy, spending time with loved ones, and traveling. So from a programmatic standpoint it makes sense to cancel our gatherings. This also affords our volunteers and staff time to catch their breath and be with their loved ones on special days.

Culturally specific reasons.

We live and work in a tourist-heavy economy. This means typically during peak tourist season our locals tend to leave because tourists come in, which directly affects our ministry. Because of that we change how we do ministry in the summer months and suspend normal programming for the sake of summer programming.

You may have similar circumstances for spring break or Christmas break. Or maybe your community has different events and activities throughout each year that pull people away from ministry programming. That may be a reason to cancel.

At the end of the day, the safety and care of your people is paramount. You need to make a judgement call and know that in your heart it’s the best decision you could make. It may not always be the right one, but if you make it for the right reasons you have made the best decision possible.

Quick Tip: To Host or Not to Host a Big Game Party

Posted on by Leave a comment

Sunday, February 9, is coming. Do you have any plans? What about your ministry or church? Is this a big event for your ministry?

This is a Sunday that I enjoy each year. The commercials, the game, the fellowship, the food, and honestly the conversations that this Sunday fosters just makes it really enjoyable for me. When it comes to ministry on this particular Sunday, I have done it all: I’ve hosted huge outreach events, smaller gatherings, and then just hung out at home with Elise and enjoyed the game together.

None of these are inherently the wrong or right choice. When it comes to your church, your vision, and your community, you know what will work best for your group and ministry.

This isn’t a post to say, “Here’s the right way to do ministry on this specific day.” Instead it is a challenge to think through what is the most effective way to do ministry on this specific day, and how does it align with and strengthen your ministry’s vision?

When we host events like this, we need to think critically about the “why,” “how,” and “what” components. Why are we having this event? How does it align with our vision? How does it help us reach and retain our target demographic? What is its purpose? What makes this event worthwhile? How do we measure a win?

When we step back and critically assess those questions and consider how to best reach our students or church, then we will have an opportunity to reach more people.

I’ll be honest, I’ve moved away from larger gatherings in youth ministry world because we just haven’t seen the reward for the all the work and energy we put into that singular moment. Instead, we encourage small groups to gather together with friends and family and watch the game. That way each group can determine what their time looks like and shape their gathering to best fit their group.

Remember, you’re not trying to find or build a one-size-fits-all event. Instead, allow for organically created moments to build community and relationships.

What does your ministry look like for the big game, and how do you measure the success of that event?

Quick Tip: Don’t Assume

Posted on by Leave a comment

There’s an old adage that says “when you assume, you make an @$$ out of you and me.” To be honest, I said that phrase for a long time because growing up as a young kid in a Christian house it made me giggle. But as I have gotten older, I have come to realize just how true that statement is!

In fact, I would wager that many of you are like me and we have been guilty of doing this in some way, shape, or form in our ministries and churches. We may assume we know a student and what they’re about to say; or we assume emotions, perspectives, and motives of others; or we assume why our leaders, parents, or volunteer did or valued something we disagree with.

Maybe it is just me who’s been guilty of that, but hopefully not. All that to say: learn from my missteps and don’t assume. I think when we assume we don’t just assume motivation or reason, we assume heart posture and that is a scary place to stand. When we start to assume the posture of someone’s heart, we are essentially saying that we deserve the roll of the Holy Spirit and we can determine all things about people.

Assumptions, especially incorrect ones, can lead to tension, stress, animosity, loss of relationships, misguided responses, and much more. Nothing good comes from assumptions about others, especially when the enemy wants to use our misguided assumptions and our own desires to drive wedges and fracture relationships.

So seek to know people and not assume about them. Love well and reflect Jesus rather than jumping to assumptions, which can actually cause us to disrespect others and the very image of God that we are created in.

Quick Tip: 8 Ways to Rest Before a Trip

Posted on by Leave a comment

Next week is our winter retreat which is typically the biggest trip of the year for our student ministry. There’s been a ton of prep work going into organizing, planning, and behind the scenes aspects that have been happening for months. In fact, this past week has been incredibly busy and stressful with final preparations and feeling the crunch of normal programming coupled with trip preparations.

I’ll be honest, this past week has been exhausting. I’ve gotten home every night, felt wiped out, and just want to veg out. As the weekend approached I knew I had to make a conscious decision to not do work and simply relax, spend time with Elise, and stay healthy.

The truth is just a few short years ago, that wouldn’t be the case. I would have been frantically checking emails, responding to calls and texts on my days off, I wouldn’t be sleeping well, and the stress would be overwhelming. After a much needed and forced period of rest, I’ve begun approaching ministry with a different perspective that is focused on maintaining my health so I can be a healthy leader.

With that in mind, I’ve approached trips and retreats differently. While yes, the weeks leading up to a student ministry trip is busy and stressful, that does not necessitate us compromising our health, time off, and time with family. So let me encourage you to actually find time to rest, relax, refuel, and prepare leading up to your trip.

But how can we do that well? Here some ways I have found beneficial:

1. Make sure to get plenty of sleep. We all know this doesn’t happen on trips, so start to give your body extra rest in preparation.

2. Hydrate and make sure your body has plenty of fluids. This is essential both before and during your trip.

3. Eat foods that are good for you and boost your immunity and overall health. Camp food is fun (said no adult ever), so preparing your body by eating well ahead of time is essential.

4. Take preventative supplements and vitamins. Gotta keep up your strength and stay healthy!

5. Spend time doing things that fill you and bring you joy. Your upcoming trip will be very demanding in multiple ways. Take time to do something for yourself to charge up ahead of time.

6. Make sure to be wholly present with your family. You’ll be spending significant time apart, make sure to do some things together before that happens.

7. Don’t do work. Yes, you’ll get frantic last minute texts, emails or calls. But someone else’s lack of planning or preparation does not necessitate an emergency on your part. A simple text response saying you’ll respond when you’re in the office will suffice. That may sound a little harsh or dismissive, but your time off and well-being is important and necessary.

8. Pray and spend time nourishing your soul. You’re going to pour out a lot on this trip, so make sure your pitcher (i.e., your soul) is filled so you can pour out.

Happy 2025: Celebrating 6 Years of Kalos

Posted on by Leave a comment

As we ring in the New Year, we are also celebrating our sixth year of writing and posting on this site! We have loved getting to share out of our personal experiences and life lessons over the years we’ve served in student ministry. The highs and the lows, the wins and losses, and the encouragements and painful moments have all contributed to what we have shared here.

While we look ahead to a new year, we also want to look back at some of our favorite pieces. We’ve published over 300 blog posts these past six years, and here are some of our top picks!

Nick: 10 Little or No-Prep Youth Group Games

Not gonna lie, this one took me back to when we first started Kalos. It’s one of my first posts and honestly is one that I am super proud of because it relates to everyone serving in student ministry. We have all experienced that “oh no” moment when we realize we don’t have a game ready for youth group and our supplies and time are in short supply. These games are ones I keep in my back pocket for just such an occasion and I hope that they are helpful to others serving in student ministry.

Elise: Get Off the Fence: Why Students Need You Now

This was one of my first posts for the blog, but it also is timeless because students will always need committed, dedicated leaders in their lives. It contains a message that endures over time, and I hope encourages those who doubt their ability to serve the next generation.

Also, a good follow-up to this post is one I wrote in 2020: Questions to Ask Yourself Before Volunteering in Student Ministry.

Nick: Quick Tip: Don’t Forget Your Family

This is actually one of my most recent posts, but it’s one that is near and dear to me because I think it’s a reminder I (and others) need to hear. It’s one that reminds me to make a constant effort to have my priorities in order and to prioritize my family.

Elise: 8 Tips for Ministering to Pastor’s Kids

As a PK who has also been a youth leader for PKs, I still love this post. It’s a reminder of what most PKs need: a safe place to be accepted and challenged. And while some can certainly be difficult to deal with, loving PKs well is worth it.

Nick: Quick Tip: Finding Community

Another relatively new post, but one that speaks to my heart because ministry can be lonely for staff members and spouses. Elise and I have both experienced isolation and loneliness during our time in ministry, and my hope with this blog post was to encourage all of us to find and join a community. In doing this, you will find your overall health grow and become healthier, and you will also find more joy and value in your life.

Elise: 5 Tips for Navigating Current Conversations

I wrote this post back in 2020, but it feels almost more relevant now. In the shifting tides of culture and politics, we encounter so much division–both outside and within the church. There have been so many instances where I wish we would just listen to each other in order to understand, rather than assume. I hope that this post remains relevant and helpful, and not just for youth leaders, but for all who follow Jesus Christ.

Nick: Packing for Trips: Leaders

This is a post that I’ve gotten a lot of feedback from over the years from other youth workers, and honestly was a post that was born out of years of taking trips. For me I love this post because it’s a practical way to help other leaders prepare and think through practical things that they will potentially need on a trip. You may not use all of these items, but being prepared is key and I’m very proud of the way this has helped others prepare and succeed on their trips.

Elise: Book Review: She Deserves Better

I loved this book so much, I had to highlight it once again. For those of us who grew up in purity culture, who work with young people, who have our own kids, or who lead within the church, this book is essential. I am thankful for the health, science, and godliness She Deserves Better brings to conversations surrounding gender, sexuality, and self. Check out the post, but even more so, check out the book!