Tag: leading

Ways You Can Show Pastoral Care

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An unexpected phone call that lasts for an hour. The random office drop-by that should have only been fifteen minutes but has now exceeded more than an hour. Helping the individual who stops by to seek aid from your church. The call from the school stating they need crisis counselors. Being the on-call person when someone requests visitation. Handling the untimely death of a church member.

Do any of these scenarios sound familiar? Have you had to deal with one of these moments or perhaps multiple ones? Schooling and training can help prepare you with knowledge and skill sets, and they will often try to help you grow, sharpen, and embrace your pastoral heart. When these moments happen though, often we can feel lost, scared, and unprepared. The question we need to consider is how do we engage these moments as shepherds and care for the people that God has placed in our care.

We must be prepared to love and care for people well. This is something that Jesus modeled and called His disciples to embrace. We are to care for the hurting, the broken, and the forgotten. We have the privilege of being the hands and feet of Jesus in how we love and care for our people. Today, I want to share with you a few ways that you can show the pastoral care that Jesus modeled to the people under your care.

Listen well.

When you’re listening to someone, how do you listen? Are you listening just for key phrases? Are you listening to find a solution or to fix the problem? Are you listening to hear them, empathize with them, and to offer guidance? I don’t say this because any of those styles of listening are wrong, but to challenge us to think about how we listen.

If someone’s talking to us and sharing their struggles and pain, and all we do is look for a solution they are going to feel dismissed and not cared for. If you’re only listening for key phrases the individual won’t feel seen or understood because you may miss the intricacies of their struggles. Listening well will show love and care, as well as validate and humanize the person you’re talking to as they share their struggles.

Ask clarifying questions.

This goes hand-in-hand with listening well. In order to engage and care for the people under your care you need to be listening and asking good questions. That doesn’t mean jumping in mid-sentence but instead it might involve you writing down your questions to engage with the person further after they finish their thought. Questions help the person feel seen and heard, and by asking thoughtful and clarifying questions you are validating that individual and showing them that you care.

Empathize and sympathize.

Emotions are a gift from God and based upon who He is. Throughout Scripture we see a God who shows anger, a God who delights in His creation, a God who mourns, and so many other emotions. In fact, simply studying the life of Jesus will highlight how important emotions are for shepherds.

When Jesus goes to see His friend Lazarus who is ill and suddenly passes, we see how deeply this affects Jesus when Mary approaches Him. Jesus doesn’t dismiss her cares. He doesn’t say, “Don’t you know what God can do” or, “Just trust God, He will get you through this.” And He doesn’t just sit by passively. He grieves. He embraces the hurt and pain that His friends are experiencing and He steps into it willingly with them. This is a beautiful picture of the privilege we have as shepherds to walk with and be in the midst of the difficult moments with our people. Showing empathy and sympathy helps people to know we care and understand but it also validates the pain and difficulty they are experiencing.

I will caution you with this: don’t fake it or embellish it. Nothing could harm your ministry to that person more in that moment than faking a response or trying to make it a show. People can sniff out someone who is faking it very quickly and it will feel dehumanizing and mocking toward that person. Instead, embrace your personality and seek to show empathy and sympathy in appropriate ways that reflect who you are as you shepherd your people.

Be fully present.

Let’s be honest: it’s easy to get distracted sometimes. Our minds wander and we may start to fidget with different items. Or if we are on the phone with someone maybe we start to scroll through the internet or draft an email. But put yourself in the other person’s shoes: how would you feel if someone did that to you? Better yet, how would you feel if you could know the other person’s thoughts and whether or not they were paying attention as you shared your hurt and pain with them? It wouldn’t feel good and would probably make you stop sharing and walk out.

When we are listening to people we need to be fully present. Don’t allow distractions to occupy your time, don’t daydream or be elsewhere in your mind, don’t look at your watch or phone, and don’t do something else while listening. Be present and engaged. Focus on what the individual is sharing. Maintain eye contact. Ask clarifying questions. By doing this you are wholly engaging with them and showing them that they and their circumstances are important.

Pray for and with them.

One of the most important things you can do when someone comes for guidance and care is to pray with them. This doesn’t simply have to be at the end but can be throughout the time together. Regardless of when you incorporate this, make sure your prayer reflects what was shared, embraces the emotions that were displayed, validates that individual, and seeks guidance and comfort from God. Prayers should be intentional and reflect what was discussed, and they should also incorporate requests fromthe individual. Praying for peace, guidance and direction, for hope, for forgiveness, or whatever else is needed is key.

Be willing to give up time.

This is a tough point to make because the reality is we could give up all of our time and sacrifice other relationships and priorities easily because we will rationalize that it is for ministry purposes and therefore is correct to do. What I am not advocating for is consistently sacrificing other priorities and relationships, but making thoughtful and intentional choices when it comes to caring for your people.

You may need to skip or delay another meeting. Perhaps you need to text your spouse that you’ll be leaving a little later. Maybe message prep gets put on the back burner. Your lunch plans may be canceled. Weighing the importance is key and we must be willing to give up time even when it isn’t opportune. As shepherds, we must be willing to care for our sheep even when it isn’t ideal or convenient.

Follow through.

I’m horrible with remembering to do things. In fact, if you were to ask our volunteers does Nick remember things you tell him on a youth group night, they would say, “Only if we text him or email him.” When there’s tons of things going on, I will most likely forget something. In order to remember things I need to write them down or put a reminder in my phone.

This practice is also important when we care for our people. If you say you are going to pray for them, make sure you do. If you promise to reach out to them, set a reminder so you follow through on that promise. If you say you will connect them with counselors or assistance, do that as soon as you can. Following through shows our people that it wasn’t just a one-off conversation, but instead it is an ongoing opportunity to love and care for your people.

6 Tips for Conducting a Review

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Have you ever had a review? How did it go? Were you surprised, caught off guard, upset, encouraged, challenged, strengthened, or something else?

I started off by asking if you have had a review because for many people in ministry they haven’t. For whatever reason, reviews aren’t common place in the ministry world but they should be. Reviews aren’t meant to be something that only happens in the secular world but also in ministry because a proper review should encourage, sharpen, challenge, and guide us toward being better versions of ourselves as we seek to emulate and reflect Jesus.

Regardless of whether or not you have received a review, you should be willing to offer reviews to the people you shepherd. Doing so not only helps you to grow as a leader and supervisor, it’s a way to empower, strengthen, and develop your teammates as they continue to serve Christ and His church.

But the question remains: how do you offer reviews that aren’t feared or perceived with negativity and hesitation? Today I want to offer some ideas on how to handle reviews well. This isn’t foolproof but simply ideas and structure that I have learned and grown to understand during my time in ministry.

1. Make it relational.

This is not something that we think about in the corporate realm. If you work outside the church and get a review it typically feels more authoritarian in style. This isn’t necessarily a bad approach, but it does feel very top down. Ministry is usually more relational in its approach of caring for and shepherding people. Even in a leadership role we tend to lean more into the relationship- and discipleship-oriented approach, and we should utilize that approach in review settings. When you approach a review with a focus on the relationship, it allows you to lovingly guide, shape, and develop your team while building a strong foundation on which your team can move forward.

2. Remember that nothing in a review should be a surprise.

This is something I’ve learned as I have grown in my role as a supervisor. A review isn’t a time to surprise your team with corrective actions or critiques that they knew nothing about. That isn’t being a good supervisor, that’s being an authoritarian who isn’t willing to walk with their team but instead just wants to have control. Being able to support your team and challenge them throughout the year is a great way to show your team that you are for them. That way, their review isn’t intimidating or scary but a way of continuing to be for them, help to grow, and be sharpened.

3. Seek to encourage and challenge.

This typically is the big piece of a review, right? We know that reviews typically have aspects of encouragement and things your people do well, but then there’s the critiquing piece where we highlight growth areas. My two cents on this: one, nothing is ever a surprise and two, I lean heavier into the encouragement piece.

Most people hate reviews because we tend to bookend them (i.e. here’s a good thing, followed by a negative thing, finished with a positive thing) and the negative piece is the primary focus. Our team shouldn’t be surprised by the growth aspects because we should be walking with them all the time and seeking to challenge them. Therefore, I utilize reviews to remind my team of growth areas but truly seek to emphasize the encouragement. I want to highlight what they are doing well, where they have grown, and I want them to know they are making a difference. Yes, there will be a time to challenge and correct, but a review shouldn’t be the first time your teammate hears about it. Instead, a review should remind someone of growth areas and ways you’ve seen them improve.

4. Ask how you can better serve them.

This is a big part of my review process. When it comes to supervising individuals, we know that people have different personalities, different ways of receiving feedback, and different ways of being encouraged. No two people are the same and part of our role as supervisors should be understanding how to engage with our people as we seek to lead them well.

So ask how you can serve them better and use what they say as an opportunity to show care, love, and leadership. If there’s ways they ask for you to walk with them, be intentional about following through. If they share that they don’t need as much guidance in their job, step back and allow them to run with their role. By asking this question and listening to their response you will be better able to serve and lead your team.

5. Pray for them.

Part of facilitating a relational review is showing your team that you truly care about them. And one of the best ways you can do this is to ask how you can be praying for them, spend time praying for them, and follow up with them. Taking the time to do this and being intentional with these moments will truly help you to be a better shepherd who is intentionally pouring into and walking with your people.

6. Ask how you can be a better supervisor.

This is something I have started doing during the reviews I give to my team. Usually when I say this to other supervisors they look at me like I’m crazy. But hear me out: even as supervisors we have room to grow, and the ones who see those areas most are the people under our care. This not only shows your team that you are for them but also that you can hear critiques and grow. This also allows you to care for them better because you get to hear how they receive care and correction, and it provides you with more insight and ways to grow.

How do you seek to make your reviews intentional and helpful for your team?

Our Picks: Royal Servants

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As a student ministry leader you have probably led your own mission trip or partnered with a mission agency at some point in your ministry career. We all know that mission trips are important in the lives of students because of how they impact their hearts and relationship with Jesus. We know that when they are in a focused environment, building relationships with people, and serving others, they will begin to grow as a disciple of Jesus.

If you have led your own mission trip before you know how much work goes into planning and leading the actual trip. There’s setting the schedule, organizing service projects, figuring out meals, scheduling travel, arranging sleeping assignments, handling debriefs, managing conflicts and stressors, and all the other things that pop up. Leading a mission trip that you are putting together takes a lot of preparation, planning, and intentionality as you not only lead but also care for your students, leaders, and the people to whom you’re ministering.

If you’ve found a partner agency to go with that meets your needs and focus as a ministry, you know how beneficial this can be. Our ministry typically looks at running our own trips or partnering with the different mission arms of our denomination. This allows us to make sure the vision and mission of our ministry align with those of the partnering organizations. But, I also love to find additional opportunities for our students that embrace our vision and actively engages in discipleship.

That’s where Royal Servants comes into the picture. Royal Servants is part of Reign Ministries and offers summer-long trips for all students including middle school, high school, and college age. These are trips that take place all over the world and are focused on reaching people with the Gospel and helping students to engage and grow in the discipleship process.

Like many youth workers, I found out about Royal Servants from a phone call. Hank Dahl, one of the mission trip leaders for Royal Servants, reached out to connect and to simply share his heart. What I instantly respected about Hank is he wasn’t looking to make a sales pitch or offer me something in place of what we do as a ministry. Instead, he wanted to offer an additional option but only after pushing our students toward our own trips. Hank’s and Royal Servants’ heart is to be an additional option for students with the express desire to help them grow in discipleship and missional opportunities.

The first time we had Hank join us, he asked if he could speak to our students. He didn’t ask to share his own lesson but instead offered to teach on whatever our series was focused on. Being a youth ministry veteran, Hank instantly connected with my students and did a superb job sharing that evening. At the end of his lesson, he gave a brief synopsis of who Royal Servants is and what their trips were for that year. He then encouraged our students to go to small groups and find him afterwards at a table in the lobby. Hank didn’t try to pull our students away from time in their small group but instead pushed them into their discipleship time and encouraged them to take initiative in connecting with him afterward.

Hank’s heart, that of his team and Royal Servants overall, is to partner with student ministries around the country and to help them provide additional avenues for their students to engage in discipleship and missional opportunities. We have had several of our students participate in trips with Royal Servants and all have come back changed and strengthened in their faith. When many of them returned, they took leadership roles and began to reach out to people in their schools and communities. They also began to push students in our ministry to serve in their spheres of influence and to go on mission trips with our student ministry. It wasn’t focused on just encouraging their peers to join Royal Servants, but to instead serve where God is calling them. This again highlights the way that Royal Servants equips and trains students and is why I will continue to invite them to our church and encourage my students to participate.

If you’re looking for a great partner organization, one that seeks to reach the lost and equip students as disciple-makers, then Royal Servants is the organization for you. I highly encourage you to reach out to Hank–let him know I told you to :)–and see what this ministry can do to help your students grow and flourish.

7 Tips to Care for Hurting People

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“Hey Nick, sorry I haven’t been here in a while.”
“It’s all good. How are you doing?”
“Not good. My uncle just died.”

In the span of a few seconds at youth group I was immediately aware of how deeply one of our students was hurting. After their reply I could see the pain etched in their face and in their body language. They were hurting and I knew that they needed to have people love and care for them.

“How are you doing with all of that? That’s a lot to handle.”
“I’m trying to put on a brave face because if I think about it or talk about I’m going to cry.”
My heart broke in that moment for that student and for a pain I couldn’t fix.

Most of us have had moments like this regardless of where we serve in ministry. When you’re in a position that involves working with and caring for people, you will be acutely aware of their pains and hurts. As someone much wiser than me once said, “Proximity breeds empathy.” Today, I want to offer you seven ways you can effectively and meaningfully care for people who are hurting.

1. Be present.

One of the best things you can do is simply be fully present in the lives of people who are hurting. It’s so easy to feel the pull of distractions especially on a youth group night, but the more focused you are on the individual, the more they will be seen and cared for. That may mean moving out of a loud space, it may mean shifting your schedule for the night, and it most definitely means not looking at a clock or your phone. Being present involves a physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental presence when caring for hurting people.

2. Involve their community.

Whether it’s their small group leaders, friends, or other staff members, bringing in people (when appropriate) to walk with and be for the individual(s) is key. They can organize meal trains, sit with the individual, take them out, and love them in tangible ways. Look to bring in a village to walk with, care for, and love on those who are hurting so they know they aren’t alone or forgotten.

3. Empathize and sympathize appropriately.

When caring for people who are hurting, a natural response is to grieve with them. We feel their burdens, we hurt with them, and we sit in the pain with them. What isn’t okay is to fake those feelings–instead, just be yourself–or to tell them you fully understand and feel the same way (unless you’ve experienced the same thing).

I had a coworker who struggled with severe chronic pain. They functioned at a pain threshold of 7-8 out of 10 on a daily basis. We were praying for them at a staff meeting and we asked how we could walk with them. Their response: sit with me, cry with me, but don’t tell me you understand because you don’t and it feels dismissive. If we try to tell our people we understand their pains when we have never experienced them, we minimize what they’re experiencing and they feel unseen and unloved. Make sure to choose your words wisely and to love well when empathizing and sympathizing with others.

4. Send them something.

Giving something may sound like the easy approach, but when it is coupled with the other aspects of care, it is a tangible way of loving your people. When someone experiences a loss we can send flowers, or a meal, or a gift card with a handwritten note to let them know they are seen and loved. Depending on the circumstance and person, what is sent will change. We want to send something meaningful and heartfelt that helps the individual and their family to know they are seen and loved.

5. Follow up.

It isn’t just about being present in the moment, but also about ongoing care. Pain doesn’t just dissipate after a brief interaction, we often sit with that pain for days, weeks, and months. Pain and grief are long term emotions and we need to be engaging and following up with our people. Making sure to check in, to grab coffee, to be present when needed (i.e. funeral arrangements), and to let them know they aren’t going through this alone are paramount to caring well for your people.

6. Listen well.

Sometimes I tend to interject in conversations without listening fully. I’m a fixer at heart and I want to do my best to help and care for my people. But by not listening well or only listening to find solutions, you are actually devaluing the people you care for because you are dismissing them and their problems. So listen well. Sit and allow for people to process and grieve. Allow for there to be silence and wait to see if the individual is done before you start to share.

7. Know your limitations.

Sometimes we want to do all we can to care for people, but we often do that even when it is beyond our capacities or abilities. Instead of trying to be all things to those who are hurting, let me encourage you to simply be you and to know when you can and can’t do certain things. If someone needs to speak with a counselor and you aren’t trained or equipped to do so, connect them with someone who is. This should be our approach not because we don’t care but because we do! Caring well for people means connecting them with the right individuals and resources that they need in all circumstances.

How to Interview Potential Volunteers

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We know that in order for student ministries to run well we need quality volunteers. We don’t just need warm bodies, we need people who will actively engage in life-on-life discipleship with students.

Elise and I have recruited many volunteers over the years, and Elise is an active volunteer herself and has served with co-leaders throughout her time in ministry. However, if I am being honest, there have been times I’ve rushed the process or recruited someone who wasn’t the best fit. Thankfully God has still used those individuals in those moments, but it has forced us to think about the recruitment process and how we interview leaders.

With our unique backgrounds of recruiting volunteers, being a volunteer, and serving with volunteers we wanted to offer some helpful insight and suggestions on what your interviews could look like when recruiting new volunteers to your ministry. We want to offer insight into what we have learned through our time in ministry that has impacted our recruitment and interview strategies.

Ask them to share their faith journey.

One of the best ways you can get to know someone is asking them about their faith journey. You get to hear how God has worked in their life, what has changed for them, and also why they care about serving in the church. Often times you will hear about how student ministry impacted their life or how their experience with Jesus has directed them to work with students.

Get to know them and their family.

During an interview of potential volunteers I always try to get to know them at a personal level. I ask about their favorite restaurants, their favorite snacks, what they do for a living, and I ask about their family. Family is super important and it’s always good to be able to walk with your volunteers and their families. This allows you to care holistically for your team and to see how you can pray and care for them.

Ask them to share the Gospel.

When it comes to working with students who fall all along the faith paradigm, it is important to know that your leaders can share the Good News with your students. Ask them to share it and pay attention to how they do it. If it’s a typical Romans Road style, ask them how they would share their faith with students who aren’t sure they believe the Bible just yet. Encourage them to think outside of the “typical” methods and think about doing it in a boots-on-the-ground way when students ask hard and personal questions.

Have them do a personality assessment.

This is always a great idea to do with any leadership team, but especially with new volunteers. You’ll learn about what they value, you’ll find out their stressors, you’ll uncover strengths and weaknesses, and you will be able to figure out who should be their co-leader based on how they will work together.

Ask them about their leadership style.

As you are getting to know the potential volunteer, ask them about how they lead. Do they work well with other leaders? Does their style work with what your vision is pointing toward? Are they focused on discipleship or simply teaching at students? Are they confrontational or willing to work with different people and personalities? Is it their way only or will they work with leadership? What are their strengths and weaknesses? Knowing the leadership style and gifting of your volunteers allows you to place them in the portion of your ministry where they will succeed and have the greatest impact on your students.

Find out why they want to serve with students.

This is a question I learned to ask because I began to see disconnects among some of my leaders. We are a discipleship-based ministry and our leaders ask our students a lot of questions during small group time and help them think through practical application for their lives.

But we had some leaders who thought small group time was another time to teach a secondary lesson or reteach what was already taught so it was taught correctly. That presented some difficult conversations with those leaders, but ultimately we were able to all be on the same page. It’s important to make sure the values and reasoning for serving with your students reflects the heart and mission of your ministry.

Ask how they would work with another leader.

Depending on where you serve, the possibility of having two or more leaders for a single small group is a luxury you may not have at this point. However, you will at least have them working with you as the other leader, which means you need to know more about how they work with others. Ask them questions about their leadership style. Ask them how they respond to authority. Investigate how they handle disagreements or differences with other adults. Ask about their communication style. These questions will help you think through how they will fit within your ministry and with other leaders.

Ask them their thoughts on the vision of the ministry.

Whenever someone is looking to join a ministry or an organization, you should make sure that they understand and align with the mission and vision of the ministry. Having someone serve on your team who doesn’t align with the direction and focus will ultimately lead to tensions and disconnects, which will come to a head. When you interview someone ask them what they think about your vision. Ask them how they see that mission playing out in their lives. Ask them how they will help model that vision to the students.

After sharing the requirements of the ministry, verify if they can commit to them.

This has been a misstep for me all too often. I’ve noticed confusion after the fact because I didn’t clearly articulate what we are asking of each individual leader. This often came about when leaders thought they had to serve in both our Wednesday and Sunday programs. And that rests on my shoulders because I hadn’t stated that they choose to do either or they could do both, but both programs aren’t a requirement. So make sure that the commitment is clearly stated, and then make sure that the volunteer can follow through with it.

Ask how you can be praying for them.

If we are truly shepherding our people, we should be doing this with even our potential volunteers. Often our people are carrying huge burdens, and simply knowing that a leader cares about them will mean the world. Be intentional, be relational, and be caring as you meet with individuals and love them well.

Theme Night Ideas: Spring Kickoff

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Most of us are not thinking about spring right now. In fact, some of us are probably revisiting our winter weather and wellness policies because those fall sniffles and murmurs of snow are beginning to materialize. But that is why this is the perfect time to think about a spring kickoff because it gives us time to prepare. Preparing in advance helps us to put things together without feeling rushed or disorganized. It allows us to build something meaningful and intentional that will reach our students and their peers.

I do want to clarify what I mean when I say “spring kickoff.” For our ministry, we host our spring kickoff in January after we come back from Christmas break. Many of you are probably crying afoul because January is most certainly not spring, unless you live in a place that is perpetually warm. But here is the rationale for calling it our spring kickoff: we have just come back from a prolonged break and we want to celebrate being back and it is the start of the spring semester for students.

Our church is a regional church which means we serve multiple school districts and none of them follow the same format for semesters or marking periods or trimesters. So instead of trying to do a “semester kickoff,” it made the most sense for us to call it our Spring Kickoff. I am not advocating for you to replicate the name–thought it most certainly isn’t trademarked–but I am encouraging you to be intentional with the time when you come back from a prolonged break in programming. This is a great point at which to celebrate and reconnect with your students, and to have fun in the process.

In looking at the time of year this happens, many of us we need to think about indoor activities. There are some ministries that can be outside in January, but for those of us who cannot, we must think about activities that can be utilized indoors. All of the ideas below can be used outdoors as well and can be shaped and molded to fit any space and ministry size. Today, I want to share with you five ideas for a spring kickoff event that are guaranteed to be a ton of fun!

Cutthroat Kitchen.

Cutthroat Kitchen was a cooking show on Food Network where competitors were given a set amount of starting cash they could use in each round to either buy advantages or purchases sabotages for their competitors. DYM put out a Christmas version of this competition that can easily be tweaked to meet the needs of a spring kickoff. You will need to play around with the graphics and some of the names of the games, but it is a great springboard and has a ton of helpful guidance.

This is an event you can do for one night or for a months-long competition. We took a month leading up to it for small groups to win “money” by competing in various games that they could use in the main competition. It was a ton of fun, and our students still talk about it.

Team Competitions.

Team competitions don’t have to be like the relay games of yesteryear. They can actually be a lot of fun and it is all in how you cast the vision and know what your group enjoys. You can host a trivia night where small groups compete against each other. You could have small groups plan and share skits or a talent show. You could have a lip-sync competition between small groups. Or it could be any number of things, but the key is knowing your group and what will get them excited and participating.

Scavenger Hunt.

We have written about using Scavr for our spring kickoff before, and honestly this is an amazing resource for youth ministries. This is an option that costs money depending on which version you would like to use, but I will say it is totally worth the value. All you need to do is figure out the clues and answers for the hunt, have your teams download the app beforehand and create a log in, and then just manage the submissions.

Gone are the days of trying to track all the scores or figure out who did what. Scavr does that all for you. This is something you can completely scale and shape to fit a theme, environment, or your church setting. We love to incorporate trivia questions about leaders and staff, utilize staff who are on-site for photo opportunities, and have our students running all over.

Minute to Win It.

This is a classic event for student ministries. You can literally find tons of Minute to Win It games online and even find websites with the games broken down by categories. There also a lot of Minute to Win It countdown times on YouTube that you can use for this event to keep things moving and make it feel like you are actually competing on the show. You can set this up where you have multiple stations and students will move through them in groups and you keep track of which student/group got the quickest time. Then you figure out which team or individual won the most games or had the best overall score, and you have your winner.

Bigger and Better.

This is a classic game that we used to play all the time at my youth group growing up. The premise is fairly simple: each team starts with the same “small item.” We always started with a quarter. You would then have to travel around and trade your small item for something bigger and better, trading items until you’re out of time. When time’s up, everyone reconvenes at church to see what each team got, and to pick a winner.

We learned pretty early on that you had to have certain ground rules in place like “no stealing,” “no drive-able items if you’re under 18,” and the item you receive you have to be able to keep. The last two were because someone had a family member drive their 18-wheeler to church. But this is a game you could play in a neighborhood, a smaller community, or by utilizing church staff and/or members to engage in more inter-generational community. The last one could even be an opportunity to have dessert at one of the homes and celebrate together.

How to Create a Proper First Aid Kit

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Have you ever had a student get injured playing a game? Or maybe you’ve been at camp and desperately need Advil for a leader after they slept on the camp mattress that was anything but built for lumbar support. Perhaps you were on a mission trip and needed to have medicine when someone got sick.

Regardless of where you serve or how big your program is, a proper first aid kit is a must. Sure you can buy a pre-stocked kit from Walmart or Target, but my experience with those kits is they often don’t have all you need and their items are not always the best quality. To ensure that you have all you need, it is helpful to build your own by purchasing the items you need and putting them in a central kit for your team.

As the leader of your ministry, you are acutely aware of what your students and leaders will be participating in and what you will need on trips and at programming. What we want to do with today’s post is to share items we have in our first aid kits to help you think through what you can include in yours. We want this to be a springboard to generate helpful thoughts in building first aid kits for each of our ministries. Here are some items we always want in our kits.

Bandages.

Often we pack band-aids in first aid kits, but it’s also helpful to have different types of bandages and accompaniments. Having bandages of different sizes and shapes, along with butterfly sutures and gauze is highly important as it will allow for you to address multiple cuts and wounds. Also included with bandages should be various types of medical tape and wraps. These will allow you to secure bandages better as well as utilize them for other parts of first aid like splints.

Ointments.

Having different ointments is a must in a first aid kit. Think about adding antibiotic ointment, Cortisone Cream, and other products like alcohol wipes. I would also recommend having a package of wet wipes to utilize for cleaning wounds before applying to the needed area. Another ointment to have would be Vaseline in the event of dry or irritated akin. Along with Vaseline I would encourage you to have some aloe to treat sunburns especially if you are going on a summer trip.

Medicines.

Having different medications will allow you to help your team for a variety of ailments. Some of the more common products to have include ibuprofen, Tylenol, aspirin, electrolyte tablets, sugar pills, Pepto-Bismol, antacids, anti-diarrhea pills, Ex-Lax, and Benadryl. This is not an all-inclusive list, and depending on where you are going and what you are doing, you may need different items or you may need to add additional items to this list.

Splints.

This is something that is often overlooked in packing first aid kits. Having a variety of splints for fingers and thumbs, wrists and ankles, and a few other small ones will be highly beneficial. Another good resource for splints is having popsicle sticks to help splint fingers or other appendages as needed.

Electrolytes.

Heat exhaustion is very real and happens to students quite frequently because they can be stubborn about drinking water during summer trips. Typically we think about having Gatorade or Propel packets in our kits for trips. However, these tend to have a lot of sugar and it may take multiple packets before people start to feel better. Another option that I have come to love is either having electrolyte tablets or Liquid IV. Both of these tend to have a faster recovery rate and less additives that don’t help in the long run.

A pocket knife.

This is something I have always seemed to need in different moments. I would suggest a good multi-tool and a regular pocket knife in your first aid kit because they can be utilized in different settings. Having a reliable multitool will help you to fix and repair things as needed, where a regular pocket knife can come in handy for various activities and needs.

Scissors.

Having a quality set of scissors is a must for a good first aid kit. If someone is injured and you need to cut through clothing, strong scissors are your best friend. Look for quality scissors that can be utilized for a variety of circumstances.

Tweezers.

If you’ve ever gotten a splinter that you can’t get out with your fingers, you know how important it is to have a good set of tweezers. Thinking of students and all that you do as a ministry, there are multiple opportunities for students to get stuck by something that tweezers can pull out. So having these on hand is a must.

A tourniquet.

You may not think that this something you will need on a youth trip but it’s always better to a have something and not need it than to need something and not have it. We may never need to use one of these but it’s better to have it especially if you’re at a camp with no nurse or even on a mission trip. If someone nicks an artery or sustains a bad injury, it is best to have one of these ready to go.

Feminine products.

I’ll be honest, this is not something I would have thought of on my own. It was actually while I was working in collegiate security that I noticed them in our first aid kits. We had them on hand for nose bleeds, but as youth workers we must understand that having these items on hand for our female students and leaders is not only important but also a way to love our people well. If you a guy who’s unsure what to get, talk to your spouse or a female leader and have them purchase the needed products for you.

Sugar pills or candy.

I referenced having sugar pills earlier in the post, but I wanted to mention them in their own bracket because of their necessity. If someone goes into hypoglycemia, having sugar pills or candy is highly important. Candy is a quick fix if someone just has low blood sugar, but if someone’s blood sugar crashes due to hypoglycemia, sugar pills will be the most helpful.

Eyewash.

If you’ve gotten an eyelash in your eye, you know it’s uncomfortable. If you’ve gotten dirt or a splinter in your eye, you know that the pain is unbearable. Having a bottle of eyewash will allow you to help your people who get stuff in their eyes. Just make sure to get eyewash and not contact solution as they are different.

Ice packs.

These are a must-have for any trip. You can purchase the types that you pop to induce a chemical reaction so you don’t need to think about refrigeration for your packs. These types also come in a variety of sizes so you can choose which ones will be best for your group and your kit.

What are some essentials you include in first aid kits?

Ways to Care Well for Leaders

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We are all aware of how important volunteer leaders are to our ministries and the people we care for. Our leaders are the glue that hold the ministry together and they are often the ones who do life-on-life with our students. Leaders give up so much to disciple students and, let’s be honest, it can be a lot. It’s taxing, time consuming, emotional, and at times difficult.

In order to help support our leaders, it is important to care for them. Now as we think about caring for our leaders, it is pivotal to think about how each leader receives things. Thinking through their love languages and what they value and appreciate will help you to care for them in the best possible way but also in a way that is meaningful for them. So what are some tangible ways you can care for your leaders?

Send them a handwritten note.

We are in a technology-driven age, which is why receiving a handwritten note or card is so important. It shows such intentionality and a desire for community that it truly builds a greater connectivity between you and your leaders. A handwritten note shows your leaders how much you care about them and can truly be a highlight for them.

Ask them how you can pray for them and follow up on the request.

Praying for and with your leaders is a deeply personal and spiritual way of caring for your leaders because it shows them you care about them as a person. It shows that you don’t just see them as a volunteer but someone you truly care about and want to see thrive in all capacities. Spend time asking how they are doing, how their families are doing, what’s going on in their lives, how they are handling work, and what they need prayer for. By doing this, you are showing them how important and meaningful your relationship with them is. In doing this, make sure to follow up with them on their requests and check in to see how they are doing.

Call them.

Reaching out to your leaders with a phone call that isn’t work or ministry based will mean a lot. When the focus of your connection isn’t simply checking in on them from a ministry context, it allows you to strengthen your relational equity with them. Call them and ask how they’re doing. Check in with them and how you can care for them. Have a casual conversation and see them as more than a volunteer. This type of connection will strengthen your friendship with them and also help them to grow closer to you as they see your heart and passion.

Take them out for coffee or a meal.

One of my favorite things to do with my leaders is take them out to a local coffee shop and just share life. It allows us to build rapport and community together and it’s in a comfortable setting. However, doing something like this means working around your leaders’ schedules. I think we can get in the habit of doing things on our time table, but ministry timetables are often different. So we need to remember that to care for our leaders well and to go out with them means doing so when it works best for them.

Invest in them and their families.

Caring for your leaders means investing in them and their families. Leaders often sacrifice time at home to be with students, especially if they serve weekly and/or go on trips. So investing in your leaders by being involved in their lives and knowing how their families are doing is huge! Know if their kids are engaged in sports or other extracurriculars. Be aware of how their spouse is doing. Acknowledge how their jobs have been going. Be there during the hard moments. Care about them and love them where they are at. These are moments when your leaders will feel cared for because they see it is bigger than just them as you love and care for their families.

Praise them personally and publicly.

I love to do this! I love praising my leaders in front of my students and in front of the church. I want everyone to see how awesome my leaders are so I praise them whenever I can. We also highlight different leaders at our training sessions and thank them at key gathering throughout the year. It is also important to thank them privately. There are many moments we can thank our leaders for that may not be for the public setting. And those are moments that leaders will remember because you are being intentional and approaching them individually to praise them.

Share life with them.

Inviting your leaders over to watch football, going to a trivia night together, hosting a BBQ, or doing a movie and game night are all fun ways to engage with your leaders in everyday life. You can simply invite them to share in normal moments where you can laugh and have fun together.

Send them a gift.

We ask our leaders each year to fill out a brief questionnaire that has questions like, “What is your favorite candy bar?” Or, “If I got a gift to (fill in the blank) I’d be really happy.” And, “My favorite place to shop is (fill in the blank).” I know not every ministry can afford to do this type of thing regularly, but being able to surprise or bless your leaders with a gift card or gift is a special and tangible way of showing them you care.

Tips for Vacationing Well

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If you’re like me, taking a vacation can actually be hard. Not because we don’t want to vacation and take a break, but because we feel the strong pull of commitment to our jobs as ministers. We want to make sure everything and everyone we serve is doing okay and so we are willing to push our own needs and those of our families to the side.

We will answer phone calls, texts, and emails while we are on vacation. We will work on solving problems and message prep. We will do work instead of pausing and spending time with those who are closest to us. We will not actually pause but continue to go. I don’t say this to make you feel bad but instead to help us see the reality of what is going on in our lives.

And believe me, up until a little over a year ago, I was there with you. I was checking emails on vacation, responding to texts, and not being fully present while on vacation with Elise. I took my laptop and work items with us when we went away. I was on the phone with volunteers and families.

I didn’t actually pause and take time to refresh. I totally understand that pull to care for our people and to ensure the success of what we are doing. I know that comes from a good place, but even things that come from a good place can morph into problematic habits and rhythms. This isn’t meant to be a critical post or one to break you down, but instead to cause us to pause and reflect on our hearts and to think through how we can vacation well.

Set boundaries.

Boundaries are a big part of being able to vacation well. If you have unspoken expectations that aren’t met, you and your family will consistently be disappointed. What I mean is this: you can’t expect there to be boundaries if you don’t share them. You need to tell your coworkers, your leaders, and even your students that you will be away and not available. You must set up auto replies for your emails saying you’re away. You need to leave work at work which may mean turning off your phone or putting it on airplane mode and leaving your laptop at home. Setting boundaries will not only help you relax and decompress, it will also allow you to be wholly present with your family.

Be honest with your spouse and vacationing partners.

This is an aspect about vacationing that we don’t always think about and something I know I have to work on. I told Elise that I didn’t want to work on our most recent vacation and that I was going to leave my laptop at home. But I also knew I could check my work email on my phone so I asked her to help keep me accountable. Between the both of us, I stayed away from work and vacationed well. But that only happened because I was transparent with Elise about what I needed help with.

For all of us who serve in ministry, we need to be honest about the pull of ministry work even when we are on vacation. Take the time to talk through it before the trip and give people permission to speak into your life, hold you accountable, and challenge you in your growth.

Leave work stuff at work.

This can be difficult in ministry because we feel the call God has placed on our lives and the burden we have for helping those God has placed under our care. I get it, I feel that tension as well. But we must also understand that God didn’t design us to be beings who continuously work without taking a break.

In fact, God intentionally designed the Sabbath to force us to take a break because He knew that work could and would become an idol for us. If you look at the story of Elijah you will see that even in the Old Testament, leaders struggled to take a break and God had to force Elijah to rest and eat. We don’t do a good job of pausing and leaving work stuff at work. We do just the opposite and we allow it to cripple and overwhelm us.

What we need to do is leave work at work and be wholly present with those we are vacationing with. That means not taking work items on vacation. It may mean turning off your phone. And it definitely means not being on call while you’re off from work. A great way of practicing this may be to actually leave all your work items at work or at home if you’re traveling. If you’re doing a stay-cation and your work stuff is at home, it may mean having someone hold you accountable to make sure you’re not engaging with work items.

Communicate with your team and students.

One thing that will help you actually vacation is not having interruptions. That means communicating to your team, your students, and others that you will be away. That doesn’t mean they can’t contact you, but you are establishing healthy boundaries and highlighting the necessity for rest and refreshment. When you clearly communicate that you will be away and the parameters surrounding that time, you are making sure to establish the necessary boundaries that are needed for you to vacation well.

Stay off social media.

When I took my mental health leave of absence over a year ago, one of the things I did was take a break from all social media. And honestly, it was one of the best things I have ever done. So much so that I decided to stay off of social media indefinitely. I’m not going to tell you that you need to get off of social media forever, but I will say that staying off of it while on vacation is vital.

Social media, while fun and engaging, can also be depleting and force you to focus on work. You’re most likely friends with people from work, students and parents, and your leaders which will cause you to inadvertently think about work while on vacation. Social media can also distract you while you’re on vacation and keep you from fully refreshing and relaxing. Making sure to remove yourself from social media will actually give you more peace and rest while you’re on vacation.

What are some of your tips to help you vacation well?

6 Tips for Designing Your Space

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Typically there are two responses to this type of an article: I don’t have a designated space or I already have my space set up.

Those responses highlight a mentality of frustration or completion and I can fully resonate with both. When you don’t have a space that is specifically for your ministry due to multipurpose usage it can be really discouraging and frustrating. On the other hand when you have your space and it is fully set and designed how you like, your response may be to continue with the status quo, because why change what is working?

But may I suggest to you that neither of those responses are helpful nor beneficial? In fact both of those attitudes can lend themselves to complacency and an unwillingness to adapt and change. That is not a helpful place to be because it leads to tensions, frustrations, resentments, and bitterness. Instead what we should should be doing is thinking creatively and identifying ways in which our space can be most utilized to reach and impact the communities we serve. The question then is how can we design and utilize our space to that end?

1. Know your ambiance.

What is the vibe that you want your ministry to have? Is it a classroom setting? Do you want it to feel more like a party? Or is it a coffee shop environment? It may be none of these or a hybrid of a few different options. Regardless of what you choose, how you embrace the ambiance and build your space to reflect that is key. So know what you are going for and commit to it.

2. Consider your lighting options.

Our space is pretty set with lighting options because it’s a multipurpose room. This means we can’t add or change anything unless it is something the entire church agrees on or the items must be able to be removed after each event. For us, that means that either we use the lights that are in the room or we get creative. We chose to get creative and we have purchased floor lamps and market lights to change the ambiance of the room for our youth group nights. While yes, they do make set up a bit longer, the change of lighting and the effect it has on our environment has been more than worth it.

3. Think about seating.

Here’s the thing: chairs and tables aren’t always necessary. They can add to an environment but they can also detract from it. Deciding how you want people sitting may sound like it isn’t important but it can shift the the entire ambiance and purpose of your space.

When I started at our church, Sunday mornings were a little dull and lifeless. Students would come and sit in rows and there wasn’t a reason for why we had rows. So I shook it up, and we moved to round tables with chairs to foster conversations and discussion on what we were teaching. Changing seating will switch up the ambiance, the energy, and even the purpose of what you’re seeking to accomplish. So think through how you want your seating to be and make sure it matches your vision and purpose.

4. Intentionally set up your room.

We just talked about chairs and tables but it is important to think through your room setup holistically. Where do you have your TV or your projector? Where are you putting snacks? Does your room setup convey a welcoming environment? Where and how will you incorporate games and activities?

Like I said above, we utilize round tables and chairs but that really inhibits us from being able to do active and mobile games. We knew that with our current set up we would need to be creative, so we utilize PowerPoint games that are usually in an all-play style.

We should also think through how our rooms bring people in and what we are conveying. Is it welcoming? Does it feel warm and inviting? How are students engaging and interacting? These questions will help us to think critically about room setup and if it is what we need for our program.

5. Incorporate student elements.

This is something I would love to do in our main spaces, but unfortunately cannot at this time. Instead I’ve encouraged students to bring in paintings and drawings, poetry, photos, stories they wrote, sculptures, or any other artistic elements to decorate our Leader Hub. Allowing students to contribute not only highlights their gifts and skill sets, it also helps to encourage your leaders as they see their students growing and flourishing.

6. Utilize food and music.

Music and food are two amazing elements we often don’t consider but just have at our gatherings. But why do we use them and how should we use them? Food is a natural barrier breaker. Have you ever noticed how often Jesus had conversations around food? I believe it is because when you share a meal, people’s walls start to come down and it allows us to engage in community. So as you think about designing your space, think about where you’ll be incorporating food and if it is truly helping your group engage in community. If food is at the back of the room and difficult to get to, you aren’t helping your cause. But if it is readily accessible and in a place students see, it will help you succeed in your vision for your program.

Music is hugely important when it comes to designing your space. Have you ever gone to a coffee shop or a supermarket and there’s no music playing? It’s a little creepy right? We begin to wonder why there isn’t music, it feels awkward, and we pull inward. The same is true for student spaces. You could have the most beautiful space but if there’s no excitement and nothing filling the dead air, students will not want to be there. So play music but also think about what kind of music you want, and how it is rounding out the environment you are seeking to create.