Tag: leading

Be Willing to Change

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Let me start by saying this: if you know the DISC Assessment, I am a high C/I. That means I love lists, organization, and structure but I also love people and relationships. Now think about that personality as a leader and you can understand that there are things I struggle with because I’m trying to balance between focusing on the tasks or focusing on the people.

In order to try and balance those two things, I tend to hold to well established rhythms, functions, and structures. What I am getting at is this: it’s hard for me to change and it’s harder still to add change into a ministry that has been doing well. The old adage holds true for me: if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.

But pause and consider this with me: is that actually true? Just because something “isn’t broke,” should we not attempt something new? I mean we could hold to the status quo and keep going. We could look at our ministries and say, “this is fine, we don’t need to change.” But does that allow for growth, change, and development? Or are we simply staying put because it’s safe and it’s what we know and are comfortable with.

Last year I did something that pushed me out of my comfort zone. At our last leader training I asked all of my leaders to do a modified SWOT Analysis of the ministry. It was incredibly encouraging and humbling all at the same time. I was able to understand how they saw the ministry, what was working and what wasn’t, and better understand what they needed in order for them and our ministry to succeed.

One of the things they brought up had to do with our trainings, specifically our big fall training that leads into the school year. They explained it felt like an information dump rather than any type of equipping and that it was the same thing year in and year out, which made them not want to come. They desired community, collaboration, and training and they felt like they were not receiving it.

I’ll be honest and share that I didn’t like their response. I had put a lot of time, thought, and effort into crafting the training and thought it was beneficial. I also saw it from the standpoint of having to cover all the necessary items for the year and these were things we needed to tackle.

But after stepping back for a few days, consulting with peers and mentors in my life, and allowing my pride to subside, I began to see that they were right. For the last seven years our fall trainings were all the same and I could understand why they said what they did. My leaders were right. So I pulled our staff team together and we began to brainstorm on what we could do differently.

We came up with a ton of creative ideas and opportunities to invest in our team and to help them grow as leaders. In looking at our leaders we realized that the majority of them have been through our trainings at least two times and know the logistical information inside and out. So we trimmed that part of training down and utilized our informational packet to give them all the intricate information.

We also incorporated team building, spiritual formation, worship, and collaborative training and team work. We themed the training, cut back on the timing, added creative food options and unique favors, and made sure to laugh and play together.

The result: a whole new training that our leaders enjoyed and we excited about. Honestly, this has set a whole new precedent for how our trainings are curated going forward. But the reality is this would not have happened if we didn’t take a risk and implement changes.

Change isn’t something we should do “just because,” but it should be an intentional step to better serve and care for your communities. Change can radically alter and benefit our communities if we are willing to listen, adapt, and be stretched together. The results will be beneficial for all parties.

So, what can you intentionally change to benefit your communities? Are you willing to take a risk and listen to what needs to be changed?

Trip Tricks: No Phones

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When it comes to trips, we have a strict no phone policy for students. In our culture this can be fairly divisive because of our love for technology and the fear of missing out due to our comfortability with having everything in the palm our hands.

But here’s the thing: phones, social media, and technology, while amazing resources, actually cause us to be more disconnected, distracted, and anxious. That doesn’t mean that phones and technology are bad things, but it does mean we need to be intentional in helping our communities use and respond to them properly.

While social media and phones may seem to help us stay connected, they actually aren’t helping our students build authentic interpersonal relationships with their peers. They are actually engaging in relationships from a distance that don’t supplement the real relationships we were crafted for. Their online relationships may not be a bad thing, but they are no substitute for the real relationships God has designed us to be a part of.

All that to say, phones and technology can ultimately be distracting and hinder growth and maturity on trips. Instead, we desire for our trips to be places that help students grow in their relationships with Jesus and their peers. We want to eliminate distractions in our desire to foster authentic, Christ-centered relationships.

Now in some ways, this is easier said than done. I have heard all the pushback from parents, students, and even volunteers. But the statistics coupled with the results we have seen (deeper spiritual growth, intergenerational connections, ongoing transformation, and greater desire for transformation in their communities) outweigh all of the pushback. We also implement additional means of alleviating some of the pushback.

Prior to the trip, we communicate with students and families multiple times through a variety of methods (emails, social media, phone calls, meetings, etc.) the expectations and rationale for why we don’t allow students to have phones. We also share the ways parents have to reach out to our team.

We share our staff numbers as well as the camp or retreat’s contact information, and highlight that all of our leaders will have phones if contact needs to be made. Our team also posts intentional photos throughout our trips on social media to showcase our students and help families be a part of what is happening.

It should be noted that while we allow leaders to have phones on our trips, we put expectations in place for them as well. We ask them to primarily use their phones for photos and not to simply be on social media, playing games, or anything else that pulls them away from our students.

Over our career in student ministry we have witnessed the benefits of not allowing phones on trips. Typically students are not excited the first or second time they have to give up their phones. We’ve even had some students sneak burner phones into a camp. But as the trip goes on, students start to relax and become less anxious. They engage more with their peers, they begin having more intentional conversations, and they spend more time growing in their faith.

One of the best metrics for us is hearing from the majority of our students how they look forward to not having their phones on trips. They understand the need for healthy boundaries with their phones and for building into their relationships with Jesus and their communities.

At the end of the day this is a choice each student ministry must make for themselves. I’d strongly encourage a no phone policy on trips, but make sure you communicate why you have chosen to do so, be gracious in your conversations, understand where others are coming from, and make sure you and your leaders are fully engaged as you have your phones.

Review: The Bodies Behind the Bus Podcast

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Elise and I make a habit out of trying to listen to a wide variety of podcasts. Some are humorous, others are true crime, many are focused on ministry, and still others focus on sharing stories and critiques on ministry, leadership, and toxicity.

The Bodies Behind the Bus podcast focuses on the latter part of the list and truly seeks to help the church and ministry leaders be better at how they love, shepherd, and lead the church.

I do want to pause and address the “why” for a moment. Some of you may be asking, “why would you share a resource that can critique the church harshly and point out its flaws?” I think rather than simply ask that question we need to look at the causation for said question.

The cause is this: the church is made up of broken people and when broken people lead without checks, balances, and accountability, problems can and will arise. This leads to toxic leadership, unchecked authority, and a culture of harsh management and fear. This is the “why.”

When the church is made up of broken people, we must be striving to grow and be more aware to protect ourselves from falling into those categories as well as learning and empathizing with others who have been recipients of those negative behaviors.

With that being said, here is why I recommend this podcast. The hosts alternate between interviewing individuals who share their stories, digging deeper into hot topic issues surrounding churches, leadership, and culture, and dialoging about how the church needs to grow and change.

These episodes are highly informative and helpful to understand how to be a better leader who shepherds and cares for the flock. It also helps congregants and lay people understand what healthy leadership should look like while providing helpful and thoughtful ways to engage with your leadership.

The stories you will hear will pull at your heart as you empathize and sympathize with the story tellers. You will hear stories about churches and leaders you may know and many you do not. But by listening to each episode, you are allowing yourself to be shaped into a better leader by learning first and foremost how not to lead but also by becoming a better listener and shepherd for your people.

So often in the stories shared, people aren’t listened to and are dismissed. By allowing your heart and mind to hear these stories, you’re positioning yourself to be a better listener and leader because you’re seeing people where they are at and growing in your relational and emotional intelligence.

I will say this when it comes to The Bodies Behind the Bus: it may be helpful to take your intake slowly rather than the firehose method. These episodes, especially interviews with survivors, can be heavy and soul crushing. They are raw and can feature strong language, and as you hear the stories, stats, and fallout, your soul will grieve deeply. Because of that, it would be helpful to listen to the podcast in bite sized chunks rather than trying to power through many episodes at once.

You may not agree with everything in this podcast. I don’t expect you to. What I would challenge you to do is listen to it and allow for there to be room for empathy and sympathy in your heart as you hear the stories. Then allow for that to help mold you into the shepherd God has called you to be.

Quick Tip: Work Within Your Ministry’s Seasons

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How does your youth group function year round? Does your calendar primarily look the same month in and month out? Are there rest periods or seasons where ministry slows? Is your attendance the same throughout the year?

As we approach the end of the school year, our student ministry at our church shifts its programming model to a more laidback style because we live in and serve a tourist town. What that means for us is lower attendance during the summer due to locals retreating on trips and vacations as tourists come in.

And you may ask yourself, “What about the tourists, don’t you want to have something for them as well?” The truth of the matter is that for all the tourists who visit Hershey, Pennsylvania, very few are looking for a church to attend on a Sunday or youth programming on a Wednesday evening.

It isn’t that we don’t care, it’s that we shift our model to address the realities of our community and best minister to our people when they are present. We host monthly large group gatherings that are highly relational and community focused. We intentionally encourage small groups to gather and share life together. Our staff team is highly visible and building relationships on Sundays.

The truth of the matter is this: each of the communities we serve in have ministry seasons and they all will look different. If your students are around the entire year, you may continue with programming straight through. If summer is a down time, you may switch up how programming looks. If you take trips during spring break, then your programming will look different.

For each of us, we need to look at the communities we serve and ask how our ministry is and should be functioning. We also need to consider other aspects like our volunteers and protecting seasons of rest and refreshment. There are additional pieces like thinking through the taxing role that running full programming yearlong will take on your facilities team. And there are many other questions we can ask depending on what out context looks like.

What we need to consider is how our ministry looks throughout the year, and what programming looks like in each season. When we step back and take an honest assessment, it allows us the opportunity to consider new and exciting ways of facilitating our ministries to best care for and reach all the students we are serving.

Quick Tip: Be Flexible

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Have you ever had to call an audible during programming? Have things ever not gone according to plan? Has life changed how things were going to go on a Sunday morning?

One of the things we train our volunteers and students (especially those going on summer trips) on is being flexible. Life happens. Schedules change and evolve. Things don’t go according to plan.

But what about for you? What I’ve come to realize about myself is that I can preach flexibility until I’m blue in the face but practicing it personally is difficult for me. If I build out a schedule for youth group, I want to follow it. If there’s a plan, I want to make sure we see it through to completion.

But what about when our people need us? What about the student who shows up to youth group hurting and needs more than a quick chat to navigate a difficult circumstance? Or when things don’t go according to plan because of a power outage, computer crash, or another unforeseen circumstance?

I’m not advocating for not having a plan, but instead to hold things loosely. Be available when someone needs you even if that means changes to programming. Sit with people longer even if it means not being a part of the normal activities.

Allow for there to be a contingency if things don’t go as planned. And remember that we are simply vessels that Christ uses to accomplish His plan. It doesn’t start or end with us, we are simply along for the ride.

Step back and allow the Spirit to be at work and hold everything with open hands knowing that God’s plan is greater than ours. Allow Him to use you and be flexible with the changes, shifts, and unknowns that can and will come up in ministry.

Tips for Communicating Expectations with Your Team

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Have you ever felt like you didn’t know what was expected of you? Has a review ever caught you off guard? Were you ever confused when you found out you were doing smothering incorrectly?

I think most, if not all, of us have been there. We know the feeling of expectations not being communicated. We know those feelings and tensions. The sad reality is we may not be able to change how others, even our supervisors, handle those moments but we can decide how we approach them.

We can lead from the second chair and lead by example to our supervisors, but we can also lead well with our teams. That includes how we communicate our expectations. Today I want to share a few key ways we can do that well.

Think through how you’d like people to communicate with you.

When we reflect on how we want to be communicated with, that should impact how we communicate with others. We know what matters to us, we understand how we experience value and appreciation, and we know what makes us feel dismissed and unseen. Utilize that knowledge to guide how you communicate and express your expectations to your team.

Be clear in your communications.

Sometimes in an effort to soften our approach, care well for others, and (if we are honest) seem like the hero of our story, we can muddy our communication by adding more verbiage that isn’t necessary. Instead, what we need to do is be thoughtful and intentional with our words as we seek to be clear in our communications. Clarity is kindness, and when our communication is clear, our people have a better understanding of what is being asked of them.

Be clear with expectations.

Ambiguity never helps anyone. If we don’t give clear expectations, we will never be satisfied with the results because we haven’t set up our team to meet the expectations. We are setting our people up to fail and for ourselves to be disappointed and discouraged.

Instead, know what your expectations are and clearly communicate them to your team. I would strongly encourage you to consider putting your expectations in writing so that you have something you can come back to.

Never assume.

This is a big part of expectations. Often when there are unspoken or unmet expectations we can jump to conclusions about the other person(s) and assume various things about them. But this isn’t just with unspoken or unmet expectations, we do this even when expectations are clearly communicated. We assume motive or rationale or even heart attitudes and this is never a safe place to be.

When we start to play God by assuming, we truly make ourselves out to be the donkey that doesn’t know our head from our behind. In those moments we actually end up hurting others and ourselves by creating brokenness in the relationship, which can actually lead to loss of said relationship.

Honor your expectations.

One thing I would strongly encourage is that if you have expectations for your team, hold yourself to those expectations. We have all had experiences with leaders whose motto is “do as I say not as I do.” And if we are honest with ourselves, that type of leader is hard to work for and with. It’s a frustrating place to be and we know that tension well.

Instead, let me challenge each of us to be the leaders we desire and honor the expectations we give to our team. If we are asking for timely communication, we need to make sure we are doing the same. If you want your team to communicate in a certain manner, make sure you exemplify it. If there are office hours and out of office hours, make sure you reflect that in your schedule as well.

When a team is held to the same expectations and the leader is the first to hold to them, you will see a team that is unified and collaborative instead of divided and hurting.

What are some ways that you communicate expectations with your people?

Quick Tip: Giving Students Ownership

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We are preparing for a special immersive experience the week before Easter for our student ministry. Our church creates a walkthrough Easter Experience that leads people through a wonderful interactive engagement with the story of Easter and the profound truths of the Gospel.

We have tried a few times to provide opportunities for our students to walk through the experience, but they haven’t worked out for a variety of reasons. This year we think we have it figured out: we are creating interactive stations and opportunities for our students to engage with what they learned alongside of their small groups.

One of the elements we are seeking to incorporate into this evening is a time of musical worship. But here’s the problem: my staff team isn’t equipped or gifted in leading worship. So we were faced with a conundrum: who will lead this?

Our worship teams are extremely busy with Easter, so we couldn’t ask them. Most people we talked to were busy that week. Then it hit us; we have students who are gifted musicians, so why not give them the opportunity? We talked to a handful of students and they jumped at the opportunity to serve and lead their peers in this way.

You want to know what happened in that moment? I was reminded that when students are given the opportunity, they will rise to the occasion. When presented with the ability to lead and disciple their peers our students are ready, willing, and capable to stand up and lead as disciples of Jesus.

Students are powerhouses when you give them the opportunity. Yes, they are young and immature. Yes, this may cause you a bit more work and require flexibility. And yes, at times they will fail. But how is this different from anyone else, including ourselves?

When given the opportunity, and with the right guidance, students can and will rise to the occasion. My encouragement today is simply this: give them ownership. Give them a chance.

When you afford students the opportunity to own their youth group you are generating excitement, buy-in, and unity for your ministry. Students who can take a leadership role will invite their peers. They will seek to help others be a part of your vision, mission, and values. And they will develop into the leaders you have been longing for.

This isn’t a mindset for a certain type or size of student ministry. This is an opportunity and a calling to invest in the next generation in tangible ways. This can and will look different from ministry to ministry, but we must ask ourselves if we are doing this.

Are we developing our students into leaders and providing them with ownership of our ministries? When we do this, we had better be ready, because I can promise you one thing for certain: God will move in and through these students and we will see them shake the world for His kingdom.

Quick Tip: Share the Stage

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I’ll be honest, I love teaching, speaking, and preaching. It’s one of the areas I think God has gifted me in and I love to help others learn about Jesus, the Bible, and the practical applications and truths it has for our lives.

But here’s the thing: because I love it so much there have been moments where I wasn’t always willing—whether consciously or subconsciously—to share that space. That’s hard to admit because I know it shut out people who not only wanted to teach, but were exceptionally gifted communicators who should be teaching.

There are people in our churches whom God has gifted with the ability to teach and speak, and we should honor them and God by affording them the opportunity to do so. We can look at all the excuses and try to rationalize away why they shouldn’t (no formal training, no degree, not a pastor, etc.). But who are we to stand in the way of who God has gifted and called?

Instead, we need to help develop and nurture our people so the body of Christ can be what it is meant to be. We need to help ensure a variety of voices are heard, different people of different backgrounds are invited to speak. We need to provide opportunities for people with different perspectives to share with our congregants. These moments allow our students to learn and grow in different ways, through different mediums, offered by unique and different voices.

A word of insight as it relates to sharing the stage: we shouldn’t just haphazardly allow for anyone to speak, but instead we should help shape and prepare people for those moments. We should walk alongside, guide and pour into them, and help them practice, prepare, and debrief. These intentional moments allow us to pour into and lovingly shepherd our people to use their gifts and abilities to help the church flourish and grow.

So from one person who loves to teach and preach to another, share the stage. Invite new and differing voices in. Create a culture of opportunity and allow for your students to hear and learn through the broader body of Christ.

Quick Tip: Knowing When to Cancel Programming

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Have you ever had to wrestle with knowing when to cancel programming or even if you should? I’ve worked in a variety of church settings with different perspectives and rationales on this topic. Some advocated for never cancelling, some had specific parameters for when you should, and still others put the choice in ministry leaders’ hands.

Today, my desire is to provide you with some perspective for when you should cancel programming. Granted, this must align with your leadership’s guidance and perspective so this may not be as simple as just cancelling programming. It may entail multiple conversations with leadership prior to ever having to cancel. It may also mean trying to find a middle ground.

This post is simply meant to provide a framework for you and to help alleviate some of the guess work that goes along with cancelling. So when should you cancel programming?

When weather is a factor.

Depending where you live this may not be as big of a deal as it may be for others. Living in places that get snow, have hills, and are prone to drastic temperatures swings has left us having to cancel more than once. This isn’t because we are scared of snow, cold, ice, heavy rain and flooding. It’s because we are being intentional in keeping our students, families, and volunteers safe. If safe travel is an issue and if the weather is being uncooperative, it is best to cancel to keep everyone safe.

Lack of volunteers.

This is not to say that if you don’t have volunteers you can’t have programming. But if you don’t have enough to safely run programming and care well for your students, it may be necessary to suspend programming for that day.

When schools cancel classes and/or activities.

A great metric for cancelling is looking at what schools are doing. Did they close for weather? Was there an early dismissal? Are afternoon and evening activities happening? These are key metrics to help determine if you should cancel programming.

When there’s illness going around.

This is one that you need to keep an eye on because depending on the sickness it could spread quickly in your group. Many of us unfortunately learned this during 2020. But if there’s a stomach bug, the flu, Norovirus, Covid, or really any nasty bug it may be advantageous to cancel programming.

We have done this a few times because we had highly contagious bugs going around and rather than potentially add to the spread (and put our immunocompromised people at greater risk) we have opted to cancel.

Around holidays.

We cancel programming around Christmas and Easter because we know many families are extra busy, spending time with loved ones, and traveling. So from a programmatic standpoint it makes sense to cancel our gatherings. This also affords our volunteers and staff time to catch their breath and be with their loved ones on special days.

Culturally specific reasons.

We live and work in a tourist-heavy economy. This means typically during peak tourist season our locals tend to leave because tourists come in, which directly affects our ministry. Because of that we change how we do ministry in the summer months and suspend normal programming for the sake of summer programming.

You may have similar circumstances for spring break or Christmas break. Or maybe your community has different events and activities throughout each year that pull people away from ministry programming. That may be a reason to cancel.

At the end of the day, the safety and care of your people is paramount. You need to make a judgement call and know that in your heart it’s the best decision you could make. It may not always be the right one, but if you make it for the right reasons you have made the best decision possible.

Make Room for Leaders of All Generations

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I’ll admit, when I started to work in youth ministry the key idea for recruiting volunteers was to find the young, cool, and relatable college students or young adults. It seemed the mentality was “have cool young people leading and it will attract students to your program.” As I have been serving in student ministry I will admit that my personal philosophy and desires have evolved in this category.

I believe having leaders of multiple generations serving in student ministry isn’t just something we should be doing, but is essential in the discipleship process of our students. Different generations of leaders offer different perspectives, insights, skills, relational connections, maturity, and abilities to speak into students’ lives. Older generations have a better understanding of navigating life and its challenges while younger leaders can engage with the “here-and-now” parts of our students’ lives. Both of those generations are necessary and important for our students to help them grow and mature in their lives and faith journeys.

But how do we do this well? How do we not only encourage various generations to serve but also encourage our students to engage with them?

Start by highlighting the need.

Make sure people know there’s a need. Those of us who work in student ministries know there is a huge need for loving and capable adults to serve. But does your church know that? I’ll be honest: I’ve assumed this before but the truth of the matter is that people may not know.

I was talking to some elders a short time ago and as I was explaining what was happening in our ministry one of them asked me this question: Do you have enough leaders? I chuckled and said no, and they were shocked. The reality is that even our leadership may not know that we need more help.

To help people take a step of faith and serve, you must highlight the need. Talk about it. Share stories. Point to what more leaders could accomplish. The more you share the need, the better the opportunities for recruiting new leaders.

Extend a personal invitation.

In as much as I would hope this would happen, people don’t typically show up at my office asking to serve. I’d love that to happen but it only has a handful of times. The way I have typically recruited people is through a personal invite.

Reach out to different generations and ask them to serve. Take them out for coffee, explain the need, share why you are asking them, and ask them if they’d be interested. The more you can care for and invest in people, the more likely they are to jump in and serve alongside you.

Explain what different generations bring.

I love talking to people who think they are “too old” to work with students because I get to point them to the truth that they aren’t too old. Sure, as we age maybe we can’t play dodge ball or 9 Square as much (or ever), but that doesn’t mean we are dismissed from serving.

Students crave authentic, Jesus-centered, interpersonal relationships with adults, and I have found that older generations tend to be amazing at doing this. I love watching people in their 60s and 70s sit with students, listen and share stories, love them well, and show up at important moments in students’ lives. When you can highlight the importance of inter-generational relationships and the skills, insight, and wisdom that different generations bring, you will help to ensure that they see value in serving.

Show ways generations can participate and serve.

This is key in encouraging different generations to serve. We have different areas that people can serve and I would encourage you to think about places where people can step in. It may mean we have to think creatively or create new opportunities, but doing so will help your ministry to flourish.

These areas can include small group leaders, mentorship roles, managing the cafe or kitchen areas, helping with administration, teaching, mentoring and shepherding your leaders, leading training sessions, or any other areas where you see a need.

Create opportunities for generations to serve together.

Don’t isolate generations or have them serve in silos. Instead incorporate different generations throughout your ministry. Have leaders serve together from different generations, allow various generations to disciple and speak into the lives of your students, have all generations at training, and show equal value and worth to all generations.

This may seem like a “duh” reality, but our culture doesn’t always allow different generations to share life together and that can, at times, seep into our ministries. We must be intentional in creating opportunities to serve together and thinking about how our ministry is actively doing so.