Quick Tip: Share the Stage

I’ll be honest, I love teaching, speaking, and preaching. It’s one of the areas I think God has gifted me in and I love to help others learn about Jesus, the Bible, and the practical applications and truths it has for our lives.

But here’s the thing: because I love it so much there have been moments where I wasn’t always willing—whether consciously or subconsciously—to share that space. That’s hard to admit because I know it shut out people who not only wanted to teach, but were exceptionally gifted communicators who should be teaching.

There are people in our churches whom God has gifted with the ability to teach and speak, and we should honor them and God by affording them the opportunity to do so. We can look at all the excuses and try to rationalize away why they shouldn’t (no formal training, no degree, not a pastor, etc.). But who are we to stand in the way of who God has gifted and called?

Instead, we need to help develop and nurture our people so the body of Christ can be what it is meant to be. We need to help ensure a variety of voices are heard, different people of different backgrounds are invited to speak. We need to provide opportunities for people with different perspectives to share with our congregants. These moments allow our students to learn and grow in different ways, through different mediums, offered by unique and different voices.

A word of insight as it relates to sharing the stage: we shouldn’t just haphazardly allow for anyone to speak, but instead we should help shape and prepare people for those moments. We should walk alongside, guide and pour into them, and help them practice, prepare, and debrief. These intentional moments allow us to pour into and lovingly shepherd our people to use their gifts and abilities to help the church flourish and grow.

So from one person who loves to teach and preach to another, share the stage. Invite new and differing voices in. Create a culture of opportunity and allow for your students to hear and learn through the broader body of Christ.

Quick Tip: Knowing When to Cancel Programming

Have you ever had to wrestle with knowing when to cancel programming or even if you should? I’ve worked in a variety of church settings with different perspectives and rationales on this topic. Some advocated for never cancelling, some had specific parameters for when you should, and still others put the choice in ministry leaders’ hands.

Today, my desire is to provide you with some perspective for when you should cancel programming. Granted, this must align with your leadership’s guidance and perspective so this may not be as simple as just cancelling programming. It may entail multiple conversations with leadership prior to ever having to cancel. It may also mean trying to find a middle ground.

This post is simply meant to provide a framework for you and to help alleviate some of the guess work that goes along with cancelling. So when should you cancel programming?

When weather is a factor.

Depending where you live this may not be as big of a deal as it may be for others. Living in places that get snow, have hills, and are prone to drastic temperatures swings has left us having to cancel more than once. This isn’t because we are scared of snow, cold, ice, heavy rain and flooding. It’s because we are being intentional in keeping our students, families, and volunteers safe. If safe travel is an issue and if the weather is being uncooperative, it is best to cancel to keep everyone safe.

Lack of volunteers.

This is not to say that if you don’t have volunteers you can’t have programming. But if you don’t have enough to safely run programming and care well for your students, it may be necessary to suspend programming for that day.

When schools cancel classes and/or activities.

A great metric for cancelling is looking at what schools are doing. Did they close for weather? Was there an early dismissal? Are afternoon and evening activities happening? These are key metrics to help determine if you should cancel programming.

When there’s illness going around.

This is one that you need to keep an eye on because depending on the sickness it could spread quickly in your group. Many of us unfortunately learned this during 2020. But if there’s a stomach bug, the flu, Norovirus, Covid, or really any nasty bug it may be advantageous to cancel programming.

We have done this a few times because we had highly contagious bugs going around and rather than potentially add to the spread (and put our immunocompromised people at greater risk) we have opted to cancel.

Around holidays.

We cancel programming around Christmas and Easter because we know many families are extra busy, spending time with loved ones, and traveling. So from a programmatic standpoint it makes sense to cancel our gatherings. This also affords our volunteers and staff time to catch their breath and be with their loved ones on special days.

Culturally specific reasons.

We live and work in a tourist-heavy economy. This means typically during peak tourist season our locals tend to leave because tourists come in, which directly affects our ministry. Because of that we change how we do ministry in the summer months and suspend normal programming for the sake of summer programming.

You may have similar circumstances for spring break or Christmas break. Or maybe your community has different events and activities throughout each year that pull people away from ministry programming. That may be a reason to cancel.

At the end of the day, the safety and care of your people is paramount. You need to make a judgement call and know that in your heart it’s the best decision you could make. It may not always be the right one, but if you make it for the right reasons you have made the best decision possible.

Quick Tip: To Host or Not to Host a Big Game Party

Sunday, February 9, is coming. Do you have any plans? What about your ministry or church? Is this a big event for your ministry?

This is a Sunday that I enjoy each year. The commercials, the game, the fellowship, the food, and honestly the conversations that this Sunday fosters just makes it really enjoyable for me. When it comes to ministry on this particular Sunday, I have done it all: I’ve hosted huge outreach events, smaller gatherings, and then just hung out at home with Elise and enjoyed the game together.

None of these are inherently the wrong or right choice. When it comes to your church, your vision, and your community, you know what will work best for your group and ministry.

This isn’t a post to say, “Here’s the right way to do ministry on this specific day.” Instead it is a challenge to think through what is the most effective way to do ministry on this specific day, and how does it align with and strengthen your ministry’s vision?

When we host events like this, we need to think critically about the “why,” “how,” and “what” components. Why are we having this event? How does it align with our vision? How does it help us reach and retain our target demographic? What is its purpose? What makes this event worthwhile? How do we measure a win?

When we step back and critically assess those questions and consider how to best reach our students or church, then we will have an opportunity to reach more people.

I’ll be honest, I’ve moved away from larger gatherings in youth ministry world because we just haven’t seen the reward for the all the work and energy we put into that singular moment. Instead, we encourage small groups to gather together with friends and family and watch the game. That way each group can determine what their time looks like and shape their gathering to best fit their group.

Remember, you’re not trying to find or build a one-size-fits-all event. Instead, allow for organically created moments to build community and relationships.

What does your ministry look like for the big game, and how do you measure the success of that event?

Quick Tip: Don’t Assume

There’s an old adage that says “when you assume, you make an @$$ out of you and me.” To be honest, I said that phrase for a long time because growing up as a young kid in a Christian house it made me giggle. But as I have gotten older, I have come to realize just how true that statement is!

In fact, I would wager that many of you are like me and we have been guilty of doing this in some way, shape, or form in our ministries and churches. We may assume we know a student and what they’re about to say; or we assume emotions, perspectives, and motives of others; or we assume why our leaders, parents, or volunteer did or valued something we disagree with.

Maybe it is just me who’s been guilty of that, but hopefully not. All that to say: learn from my missteps and don’t assume. I think when we assume we don’t just assume motivation or reason, we assume heart posture and that is a scary place to stand. When we start to assume the posture of someone’s heart, we are essentially saying that we deserve the roll of the Holy Spirit and we can determine all things about people.

Assumptions, especially incorrect ones, can lead to tension, stress, animosity, loss of relationships, misguided responses, and much more. Nothing good comes from assumptions about others, especially when the enemy wants to use our misguided assumptions and our own desires to drive wedges and fracture relationships.

So seek to know people and not assume about them. Love well and reflect Jesus rather than jumping to assumptions, which can actually cause us to disrespect others and the very image of God that we are created in.

Quick Tip: 8 Ways to Rest Before a Trip

Next week is our winter retreat which is typically the biggest trip of the year for our student ministry. There’s been a ton of prep work going into organizing, planning, and behind the scenes aspects that have been happening for months. In fact, this past week has been incredibly busy and stressful with final preparations and feeling the crunch of normal programming coupled with trip preparations.

I’ll be honest, this past week has been exhausting. I’ve gotten home every night, felt wiped out, and just want to veg out. As the weekend approached I knew I had to make a conscious decision to not do work and simply relax, spend time with Elise, and stay healthy.

The truth is just a few short years ago, that wouldn’t be the case. I would have been frantically checking emails, responding to calls and texts on my days off, I wouldn’t be sleeping well, and the stress would be overwhelming. After a much needed and forced period of rest, I’ve begun approaching ministry with a different perspective that is focused on maintaining my health so I can be a healthy leader.

With that in mind, I’ve approached trips and retreats differently. While yes, the weeks leading up to a student ministry trip is busy and stressful, that does not necessitate us compromising our health, time off, and time with family. So let me encourage you to actually find time to rest, relax, refuel, and prepare leading up to your trip.

But how can we do that well? Here some ways I have found beneficial:

1. Make sure to get plenty of sleep. We all know this doesn’t happen on trips, so start to give your body extra rest in preparation.

2. Hydrate and make sure your body has plenty of fluids. This is essential both before and during your trip.

3. Eat foods that are good for you and boost your immunity and overall health. Camp food is fun (said no adult ever), so preparing your body by eating well ahead of time is essential.

4. Take preventative supplements and vitamins. Gotta keep up your strength and stay healthy!

5. Spend time doing things that fill you and bring you joy. Your upcoming trip will be very demanding in multiple ways. Take time to do something for yourself to charge up ahead of time.

6. Make sure to be wholly present with your family. You’ll be spending significant time apart, make sure to do some things together before that happens.

7. Don’t do work. Yes, you’ll get frantic last minute texts, emails or calls. But someone else’s lack of planning or preparation does not necessitate an emergency on your part. A simple text response saying you’ll respond when you’re in the office will suffice. That may sound a little harsh or dismissive, but your time off and well-being is important and necessary.

8. Pray and spend time nourishing your soul. You’re going to pour out a lot on this trip, so make sure your pitcher (i.e., your soul) is filled so you can pour out.

Quick Tip: Don’t Forget Your Family

Ministry is an interesting career for a variety of reasons. We work weird hours. It’s really difficult to explain what we do. Weekends don’t exist in the traditional sense. We are highly involved in people’s lives. We have one to two days a week that are bigger than all the others. Two days out of the year are like our Super Bowl. Our phones and emails always seem to be going off. Work never seems to be done because something always comes up and discipleship never stops.

But let me ask you a question: how often do you bring work home? Or perhaps the question is better asked this way: how often does work distract you from or take priority over your family?

Please understand I’m not trying to call anyone out or be critical. I am trying to challenge our perspectives and to make sure we are focused on where we need to be first and foremost. We have to remember that our priorities fall in this order: God, self, spouse and family, community, and then church. You may read that and want to push back, and I hear that. But why? Why do you want to push back?

I think it’s often because our systems and priorities are out of order. The reality is our relationship with God is our first priority and then the outflow has to be to our primary relationships which are our families. Community should be next because I would argue if we can’t care well for our immediate communities, we have no business caring for a larger church body.

But the point of this post is to challenge all of us to keep our priorities in check, specifically with our families. When we are home, our family should be our focus. We should leave work at work. Our laptops shouldn’t come on vacations. Phone calls shouldn’t interrupt family time.

This may seem hard, but we need to honor our priorities in the right order. That means we need to share our priorities with our staff teams and church. We need to ask for help and accountability. And we may need to take bold steps like turning on “do not disturb” or removing email apps from our phones. Taking these steps will help us grow closer to our families and show our spouses and kids that they matter the most to us, as they should.

Now I get it. There are always exceptions. But don’t make the excuse that exceptions are the norm. Never sacrifice your family for church. The church will always exist without us, but our families won’t.

At the end of the day, the question we need to ask ourselves is this: am I the husband/wife my spouse needs me to be and deserves, and am I the father/mother my kids need me to be and deserve?

Quick Tip: Remember Your Neighbors

It is fairly easy for church staff to get focused on their ministry and church because it’s where they work, are involved, and the place that host the people they care for. But if we take a step back and look, we will see that there are other areas in our lives where we should also be invested. The place your spouse or family members work, your neighborhood, your friend group(s), or places and businesses you frequent are just a few of the areas you can and should have an impact in.

We have an opportunity, privilege, and a calling to reach people in all the spheres of which we are a part. Over the course of our marriage, Elise and I have seen these additional areas as opportunities to love and care for others in a variety of ways. When we lived in Iowa, we were able to help neighbors shovel their driveways or get their cars out of snow banks. We also were able to help people with moving when I had a pickup truck we could load up.

Living where we do now in Pennsylvania, we have been able to get to know our neighbors and community even better and God has blessed us with opportunities to care for them. One of our favorite ways to do that comes during the Christmas season. We bake for our neighbors (including the staff at our local pizza shop), deliver the baked goods, and visit with them. It’s looked different year to year. Some years we use pre-made cookie dough or cinnamon rolls, other years we make the cookies from scratch. We’ve delivered rice cereal treats, and this year we may add candied nuts as well. It has become a tradition we love because we get to show our community that they are loved and remembered.

The point of this post though isn’t just to do things at Christmas, but instead to help us all think about how we can care well for the communities of which we are a part. It doesn’t have to be extravagant or involve things that only “people with money” can do. These are simple moments we can utilize to love and care for people and can be as simple as helping someone move, clean up a yard, deliver cookies or a meal, or simply visit with neighbors. This season, and this coming year, let’s make sure to remember and care for our neighbors!

Quick Tip: Gingerbread Houses Remix

We just had our leader Christmas party this past Saturday and it was a blast! We had wonderful food provided by families in our ministry, we spent a good amount of time in fellowship, we shared stories, and played games. One of the games we did this year was a gingerbread house decorating contest.

Now I’ll be honest: we have done gingerbread houses before for both our leaders and students, and here’s what I learned. It takes a lot of prep time, you need to buy a lot more items for decoration including icing, it takes up a lot of time, it’s messy, and it can be frustrating for different teams or individuals.

So when the idea was floated that we should do it again, I’ll admit, I was skeptical at best. But my teammate shared that she had an idea that would make this go over well and by way less difficult than before. And let me tell you, she was right! Our leaders had a blast doing it and their creativity, story telling, and humor was on full display.

Now I know you’re anxiously wondering what we did, so here it is. We did cardboard gingerbread houses. A quick search on Amazon will bring up a variety of styles, sizes, and purchase options for you to choose from. The ones in the link above came with some decor but we quickly realized it wasn’t enough, so we bought more items to go with them. We purchased pompoms, pipe cleaners, stickers, markers, tiny presents (ones for dollhouses), little trees, and fake snow.

We packed up the unmade houses and supplies into baggies for each team and gave them fifteen minutes to build their houses. We then allowed each team to present their house to the judges and the stories we got for each home were just as unique as each of the houses.

All told, we spent less than $150 for 12 houses and additional supplies. We probably could have spent even less if we had shopped for the supplies at a dollar store, but time was not on our side for that. This is a great alternative to spending lots of money on an activity that could get fairly messy and would require significant prep work. I would recommend this to anyone looking for a fun new, yet timeless, Christmas activity.

Quick Tip: Engaging Speaking

Have you ever had a kid play on their phone while speak? Have you witnessed side conversations happening? Have you ever had a student or leader audibly yawn or fall asleep during your teaching?

Okay, so it isn’t just me (and yes, every one of those moments have happened more than once). The truth is, speaking is hard. Speaking to students is harder still. And being an engaging speaker to students is one of the hardest things you can do.

I get it, I wasn’t always a good speaker. In fact, I took a speech class in high school that I almost didn’t pass because I struggled to simply speak in front of ten other people. I didn’t actually hone my skills until I was in undergrad and even then it was incredibly difficult to speak in front of my peers let alone a church or youth group. As I have been pastoring, my skills and style have continued to grow and evolve as I have become more comfortable with who I am and the gifts God has given to me.

What I would love to share with you today are just some skills I have learned during my journey, my successes, and my failures. I hope that you can take these ideas and utilize them to help you grow in engaging speaking regardless of your setting.

Control your pace.

This is a big thing when it comes to speaking. I’m a fast talker by nature. I grew up in the Northeast and I have always spoken quickly. But when you speak quickly, you can lose your audience. They can’t keep up so they tune out. I’m not saying you cannot be yourself, but be mindful of your pace and leverage it to help you engage others. Slow down for intentional moments. Consider speeding up when listing items. Pace can invite people into what you’re saying or push them away. So be mindful and creative in how you are using your pace.

Utilize your voice.

You have a great gift that we often don’t even think about: your voice. How you utilize and control your voice is key to being an engaging speaker. Utilize different vocal ranges, talk at varying volumes, and control your speaking speed. These are just some of the ways you can utilize your voice. God has given you a great gift and learning how to utilize and leverage it will help you excel in being an engaging speaker.

Leverage your space.

It’s easy to bemoan the space we have, but before you think about what you don’t have or what your space doesn’t offer, consider how you can leverage it to your advantage. Are you mobile, how is seating arranged, how is your space set up, what is the focal point of your room, what is distracting about your space? When you think through these questions about your space, it allows you to be intentional and thoughtful in how you can leverage your space to best engage your community.

Use humor and stories.

One of the best ways to engage people and bring them into what you’re teaching is to utilize stories and humor. Tell personal stories and see the humor in those moments. The more personal and relational you can make your stories and humor the more you will connect with your audience and draw them into your teaching.

Engage with your people.

This is key to anywhere you’re speaking. Whether at your home church or youth group, at an event, as a keynote speaker, or even at a school chapel, connecting and engaging the audience allows you to relate to them and draw them in. You can build bonds by speaking to them directly and engaging with their surroundings and what they are walking through. It’s also an opportunity to engage with the audience during your actual speaking like when students will answer a rhetorical question out of the blue; don’t dismiss it but engage with them. These moments of intentional engagement help us to bring our audience into our message and better leverage connectivity and application.