How to Host a Respite Day

One of the best parts of my job is working with our special needs ministry. I have the amazing privilege of overseeing a wonderful team of volunteers who love and guide our students in that ministry. Aside from being a ministry I believe every church should have (that’s another conversation for a later post), this is a ministry that truly brings me so much joy.

I started with the special needs ministry when the person overseeing it moved on to a different ministry organization. I’ll be honest and say that I was woefully ill-prepared and had no idea what I was doing. I had never been trained or taught about this while in school, and this is the first church that I have been to that actually has a special needs ministry.

So I went into my first meeting with the team and just asked questions and sought to learn. I dove into books, contacted churches who have special needs ministries, and sought to grow in my ability to walk with and disciple these amazing young people. Through all of that, I got to know my team and our students better and truly began to understand and have a heart for this ministry just like my leaders. And it was through one of my leaders that we began to host our Respite Days again.

Respite days were something our church hosted before COVID and before I started on staff, and honestly, I was a little nervous about hosting them. My mind ran toward all the liabilities, the different needs students had, the guidelines we needed, the number of volunteers, and so much more. If I am being honest though, it was fear that kept me from being willing to host these days in the beginning. Fear of the unknown and what-ifs. Fear of failing. Fear of letting down our students and families who already are marginalized and isolated.

But after some loving and continued prodding from my team, we hosted a respite day in January of this past year and it was a huge success! So much so that we are now hosting one in the summer, fall, and spring of each year. What I’d love to share with you today are a few key ways you can host your own respite day and how you can help ensure it is a success.

Have a sign up process.

The sign up process shouldn’t just be about gathering names, addresses, or other contact info, but about getting to know the students and their families. You should have options for understanding the students and their disabilities and how you can best care for them. You should also look to understand what their triggers are and how they interact with others. Doing this allows you to better serve, love, and care for the students. I’d also encourage you to have a place where you can ask the families if they have any prayer requests or needs, so you can assess whether your church can step in to help and walk with them.

Build a team.

One of the best things to have in place to make this a successful event is a quality team. Having people who understand students with special needs and how to love and care fore them is essential. But it’s also important to bring in people who simply love others well and care enough to learn and walk with them.

Utilize students.

Students with special needs often feel ostracized and alienated by their peers. And more often than not, students with special needs know that they are different and left out. So bringing in students to love and share in life with your group is a wonderful way to encourage them and help to build community. Seek out students who are good hosts and willing to spend time with others, and simply let them do that. Allow them to simply come and build relationships with their peers and to love on your special needs students.

Provide food.

Food is a natural way to lower walls and build community. Having snacks and a meal (if time allows) is a great way to make your environment welcoming and warm. But make sure that you know if certain foods or additives aren’t okay for your students. This is something that your intake form should have as a required question.

If parents don’t want their students having sugar, think about having fruit instead of fruit snacks. If they can’t have food dyes, look for more natural snacks. We have provided Goldfish crackers, pretzels, grapes, and Skinny Pop as snack items and we have had pizza and Chick-fil-A for meals. Whatever you choose, be intentional in what you pick to help make your atmosphere and the entire day feel special and celebratory.

Have a variety of activities.

In order for a respite day to be a success, it is highly important to have a lot of different activities to engage your special needs students. These could be Foosball, ping pong, four square, board games, puzzles, coloring and crafts, playing outside on a playground, drawing with chalk, watching a movie, or playing games on a Wii. We also provide fidget toys for our students who need them and we place them throughout the area we are using so they are ever-present.

We don’t necessarily structure our day with rigid timelines of what we want to do at specific times. Instead we have all the activities up and going to allow our students to engage organically with one another. We do make sure our leaders are present at each activity but we also allow students to choose their own adventure by picking what activity they would like to do.

Bless the families.

One thing I came to realize by serving with our special needs team is this: having a special needs child is extremely taxing and isolating. Most of these families feel alone and forgotten. And worst still, they don’t see churches as safe places for them or their kids. I’ve had multiple parents tell me they have been forced to leave a church as they were told their child wasn’t wanted because they are a disruption. These families are hurting and in need.

So if you’re able to, consider having gifts or gift bags for the students and for their families. For families, we write a card for them and include a gift card to a local restaurant along with information about our church and special needs ministry. For the students, we give new students The Biggest Story Bible by Kevin DeYoung, but everyone gets a gift bag with glow sticks, snacks, some fidget toys, stickers, colored pencils, a journal, sunglasses, and a special note to them from our special needs ministry team.

Utilize invitations.

When you are preparing to host a respite day make sure that you have invitations that you can use to invite people. Disperse them to your church community but also ask the families who have special needs students to invite their friends. Special needs families have their own communities and know one another well, so asking them to share the invitations will ensure that they invite their friends which will provide opportunities for unchurched people to step into your church.

Be hospitable.

Welcoming families as they arrive is key. There may be families who show up who have never been to your facility before, so having someone greet them is paramount to them feeling loved and accepted. Make sure your leaders have name tags and introduce themselves as they interact with the families to encourage them and to help them be put at ease as they leave their student with you.

Hospitality shouldn’t exist only when people arrive but also as students are picked up. Making sure you have a greeter and someone to walk parents and guardians back to their students is highly important and shows them that you value the safety and well-being of their child as well as caring for the parent.