Caring for Hurting Leaders

One of the realities of serving in ministry is you will be dealing with hurt, pain, and loss. It could be helping students navigate the hurt of a broken relationship, officiating a funeral, helping struggling couples, or a variety of other circumstances. Hurt and pain are very real and they are a very important part of our career as we have the privilege of walking with others.

In as much as we care for our church community holistically, today I want to think through what it looks like to care for hurting leaders who serve alongside us in our ministries. Our leaders deal with hurt and pain just as much as anyone else, but they also carry the burden of caring for students and their pain as well. So what are some ways that can we come alongside our people and care for them?

Be available.

One of the best things you can do for your leaders is be present when needed. When they are hurting, need to talk, or just need you to be present the best thing you can do is be there for them.

That could be as simple as sitting with them, listening and empathizing, offering counseling and direction, and being a friend to them. Those moments are critical and necessary in caring for your leaders who are hurting.

Utilize additional resources.

There may be times that you need to lean into additional resources in order to care well for your people. That could be counselors and mental health professionals, food or clothing banks, hotels for housing needs, funeral homes, financial counselors, and whatever other needs you may be able to help with.

You will need to build relationships and contacts with various organizations and agencies to help when needed. When you build your resource bank up, it allows you to better care for your people by connecting them with the necessary resources to help them.

When necessary, encourage a break.

There will be moments when your leaders are going through an exceptionally difficult time that needs both a friend to walk with them but also a caring leader to encourage a break. Often, youth leaders are deeply committed to serving and don’t want to let down their students by stepping away.

But the reality of leading well means that your leaders are holistically healthy. That means you need to be willing to encourage and challenge your leaders to take a break for their own wellbeing, healing, and restoration as needed. These aren’t easy conversations but they are needed ones that should consist of love, care, and shepherding.

Send a card and encouragement.

A tangible way of loving and caring for hurting leaders is sending a handwritten card and some kind of encouragement. We often send a DoorDash or Amazon gift card or flowers to our leaders who are hurting as a way of highlighting that they have a community who loves and cares about them

Follow up.

Often a time of hurt, pain, and grief is not just a singular moment but an ongoing one. There will be ongoing moments of pain and grief. As such, we have an obligation to continue to check in, love, and care for our people. Take them out for coffee, call them, have a conversation at youth group. These follow up moments signal that you still care and are aware of what they are going through and that they aren’t alone.