Month: November 2023

How to Pick a Guest Speaker

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We’ve all been there at some point in our careers: on the lookout for a guest speaker. It may be finding someone to share on a youth group night or Sunday morning, looking for a camp speaker, having someone speak at a retreat or DNOW weekend, or having someone who can cover for you when your sick. We know the pains and difficulties that can go into finding a speaker who aligns with our ministry. We especially know those feelings if we have had a speaker who isn’t great or doesn’t connect with your group.

The reality is that we will need to find speakers who can engage with our students and fulfill the mission and vision we are seeking to implement in our group setting. But the are many details and questions we need to consider when it comes to doing so, because we want to approach this with intentionality, passion, and faith to make sure we choose the best possible speaker for our group. Today I want share some tips on how you can do this well and show care to all involved.

Be clear with what you’re seeking.

As someone who has spoken at different venues, one of the most frustrating things is when the expectations and directions aren’t clearly communicated. I like to know the culture of the program, the intent and focus of the speaking engagement (i.e. filling in on a youth group night or the focus for a week-long camp), the vision of the ministry, how long the messages are to be and how many there will be, and even what hasn’t worked in the past. When you’re open and clear about what you’re seeking, it will afford potential speakers the opportunity to say yes or no as they think through their skill sets and time obligations. The clearer you are the more likely you are to find the right person(s) needed for your event.

Know what your group needs.

This is hugely important because as the shepherd to your group you know what they need to hear, how they will receive people, what kind of care they need, and how they will engage with the person speaking. When you’re aware of the needs of your group, it provides clarity for you to choose a speaker who will be the best equipped to help meet those needs. You aren’t looking for someone to take on your role but for someone who will compliment it and provide a meaningful and safe place for students to engage and grow in their faith journey.

Get a resume.

This may sound weird because it’s not a job interview, right? But if someone is coming to speak to your group, especially for a longer period of time, this is a job interview. They are putting forth their services and they should be able to share their experiences, passions, and reasons for seeking to fulfill this role. In doing this, you will better understand if this person is truly the right fit for your group.

Now let me clarify something: I am not saying they need to actually give you a full on resume. I am saying to look for the pieces that go into a resume and seek to understand more about the candidate. If you get a resume, follow up with their references and see what they have to say about the speaker’s skill sets, communication style, and ability to connect with students.

Know their connection to student ministry.

It may seem easy to find a speaker for student ministry; just look in any of the numerous student ministry Facebook groups to see people who are ready and willing to jump in as a speaker. Or you can look at various people’s social media profiles and find tags like “influencer” and “speaker.” But just because someone says they are a speaker doesn’t mean they will be qualified to speak to students.

One of the best things you can do when looking for a speaker is to find out their connection and draw to be a speaker to students. Sometimes people think that speaking to adults and to students are the same, but there are important and noted differences. Being able to ascertain if someone has a connection to speaking to students is a key aspect to be looking for when choosing a speaker.

Consider cost.

Sometimes you will end up finding someone who will speak for little to no cost. These will typically be when you ask someone to speak on a Sunday morning or at youth group, but not so much for speaking at retreats or longer settings. Being aware of the cost associated with picking a speaker is important but should not keep you from choosing the best selection for your group. There are times when costs can be prohibitive to what you’re seeking to accomplish, but if you’re open with the reality of cost from the onset of your search, it will allow you to think creatively about who you bring in to speak.

Preview some of their teachings.

This is something that I would suggest no matter where you’re having someone speak. Whether it’s a speaker for a camp or retreat or someone speaking on a Sunday morning, getting to know their material, methodology, and how they engage with people is key. Getting this preview will help you make an informed decisions on whether that individual is someone you want sharing with your students, if their communication aligns with your vision and mission, and if they bring the necessary skill set to the table.

One final thing: how do you say no to a speaker?

There have been times where I’ve checked in with multiple people to speak and I’ve had to have an awkward conversation where I say no to them sharing. Depending on the circumstance this can be more awkward than not (i.e. telling someone at your church or a youth leader no). The key is how you go about this. Do you simply say “sorry we are going in another direction,” are you direct to the reasons why, do you try to soften the blow?

I would say that the closer you are to the individual, the more intentional, relational, and pastoral you are with them. Make sure to care for and love them well. Explain your reasoning and if there’s areas to grow in be willing to share those. If someone is fairly far removed from your group (i.e. you connected with someone referred to you over Facebook), simply stating you’re going in another direction is fine and thank them for their time. If they want more information that is up to you on how much you’d like to share.

Our Picks: Royal Servants

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As a student ministry leader you have probably led your own mission trip or partnered with a mission agency at some point in your ministry career. We all know that mission trips are important in the lives of students because of how they impact their hearts and relationship with Jesus. We know that when they are in a focused environment, building relationships with people, and serving others, they will begin to grow as a disciple of Jesus.

If you have led your own mission trip before you know how much work goes into planning and leading the actual trip. There’s setting the schedule, organizing service projects, figuring out meals, scheduling travel, arranging sleeping assignments, handling debriefs, managing conflicts and stressors, and all the other things that pop up. Leading a mission trip that you are putting together takes a lot of preparation, planning, and intentionality as you not only lead but also care for your students, leaders, and the people to whom you’re ministering.

If you’ve found a partner agency to go with that meets your needs and focus as a ministry, you know how beneficial this can be. Our ministry typically looks at running our own trips or partnering with the different mission arms of our denomination. This allows us to make sure the vision and mission of our ministry align with those of the partnering organizations. But, I also love to find additional opportunities for our students that embrace our vision and actively engages in discipleship.

That’s where Royal Servants comes into the picture. Royal Servants is part of Reign Ministries and offers summer-long trips for all students including middle school, high school, and college age. These are trips that take place all over the world and are focused on reaching people with the Gospel and helping students to engage and grow in the discipleship process.

Like many youth workers, I found out about Royal Servants from a phone call. Hank Dahl, one of the mission trip leaders for Royal Servants, reached out to connect and to simply share his heart. What I instantly respected about Hank is he wasn’t looking to make a sales pitch or offer me something in place of what we do as a ministry. Instead, he wanted to offer an additional option but only after pushing our students toward our own trips. Hank’s and Royal Servants’ heart is to be an additional option for students with the express desire to help them grow in discipleship and missional opportunities.

The first time we had Hank join us, he asked if he could speak to our students. He didn’t ask to share his own lesson but instead offered to teach on whatever our series was focused on. Being a youth ministry veteran, Hank instantly connected with my students and did a superb job sharing that evening. At the end of his lesson, he gave a brief synopsis of who Royal Servants is and what their trips were for that year. He then encouraged our students to go to small groups and find him afterwards at a table in the lobby. Hank didn’t try to pull our students away from time in their small group but instead pushed them into their discipleship time and encouraged them to take initiative in connecting with him afterward.

Hank’s heart, that of his team and Royal Servants overall, is to partner with student ministries around the country and to help them provide additional avenues for their students to engage in discipleship and missional opportunities. We have had several of our students participate in trips with Royal Servants and all have come back changed and strengthened in their faith. When many of them returned, they took leadership roles and began to reach out to people in their schools and communities. They also began to push students in our ministry to serve in their spheres of influence and to go on mission trips with our student ministry. It wasn’t focused on just encouraging their peers to join Royal Servants, but to instead serve where God is calling them. This again highlights the way that Royal Servants equips and trains students and is why I will continue to invite them to our church and encourage my students to participate.

If you’re looking for a great partner organization, one that seeks to reach the lost and equip students as disciple-makers, then Royal Servants is the organization for you. I highly encourage you to reach out to Hank–let him know I told you to :)–and see what this ministry can do to help your students grow and flourish.

7 Tips to Care for Hurting People

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“Hey Nick, sorry I haven’t been here in a while.”
“It’s all good. How are you doing?”
“Not good. My uncle just died.”

In the span of a few seconds at youth group I was immediately aware of how deeply one of our students was hurting. After their reply I could see the pain etched in their face and in their body language. They were hurting and I knew that they needed to have people love and care for them.

“How are you doing with all of that? That’s a lot to handle.”
“I’m trying to put on a brave face because if I think about it or talk about I’m going to cry.”
My heart broke in that moment for that student and for a pain I couldn’t fix.

Most of us have had moments like this regardless of where we serve in ministry. When you’re in a position that involves working with and caring for people, you will be acutely aware of their pains and hurts. As someone much wiser than me once said, “Proximity breeds empathy.” Today, I want to offer you seven ways you can effectively and meaningfully care for people who are hurting.

1. Be present.

One of the best things you can do is simply be fully present in the lives of people who are hurting. It’s so easy to feel the pull of distractions especially on a youth group night, but the more focused you are on the individual, the more they will be seen and cared for. That may mean moving out of a loud space, it may mean shifting your schedule for the night, and it most definitely means not looking at a clock or your phone. Being present involves a physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental presence when caring for hurting people.

2. Involve their community.

Whether it’s their small group leaders, friends, or other staff members, bringing in people (when appropriate) to walk with and be for the individual(s) is key. They can organize meal trains, sit with the individual, take them out, and love them in tangible ways. Look to bring in a village to walk with, care for, and love on those who are hurting so they know they aren’t alone or forgotten.

3. Empathize and sympathize appropriately.

When caring for people who are hurting, a natural response is to grieve with them. We feel their burdens, we hurt with them, and we sit in the pain with them. What isn’t okay is to fake those feelings–instead, just be yourself–or to tell them you fully understand and feel the same way (unless you’ve experienced the same thing).

I had a coworker who struggled with severe chronic pain. They functioned at a pain threshold of 7-8 out of 10 on a daily basis. We were praying for them at a staff meeting and we asked how we could walk with them. Their response: sit with me, cry with me, but don’t tell me you understand because you don’t and it feels dismissive. If we try to tell our people we understand their pains when we have never experienced them, we minimize what they’re experiencing and they feel unseen and unloved. Make sure to choose your words wisely and to love well when empathizing and sympathizing with others.

4. Send them something.

Giving something may sound like the easy approach, but when it is coupled with the other aspects of care, it is a tangible way of loving your people. When someone experiences a loss we can send flowers, or a meal, or a gift card with a handwritten note to let them know they are seen and loved. Depending on the circumstance and person, what is sent will change. We want to send something meaningful and heartfelt that helps the individual and their family to know they are seen and loved.

5. Follow up.

It isn’t just about being present in the moment, but also about ongoing care. Pain doesn’t just dissipate after a brief interaction, we often sit with that pain for days, weeks, and months. Pain and grief are long term emotions and we need to be engaging and following up with our people. Making sure to check in, to grab coffee, to be present when needed (i.e. funeral arrangements), and to let them know they aren’t going through this alone are paramount to caring well for your people.

6. Listen well.

Sometimes I tend to interject in conversations without listening fully. I’m a fixer at heart and I want to do my best to help and care for my people. But by not listening well or only listening to find solutions, you are actually devaluing the people you care for because you are dismissing them and their problems. So listen well. Sit and allow for people to process and grieve. Allow for there to be silence and wait to see if the individual is done before you start to share.

7. Know your limitations.

Sometimes we want to do all we can to care for people, but we often do that even when it is beyond our capacities or abilities. Instead of trying to be all things to those who are hurting, let me encourage you to simply be you and to know when you can and can’t do certain things. If someone needs to speak with a counselor and you aren’t trained or equipped to do so, connect them with someone who is. This should be our approach not because we don’t care but because we do! Caring well for people means connecting them with the right individuals and resources that they need in all circumstances.

How to Interview Potential Volunteers

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We know that in order for student ministries to run well we need quality volunteers. We don’t just need warm bodies, we need people who will actively engage in life-on-life discipleship with students.

Elise and I have recruited many volunteers over the years, and Elise is an active volunteer herself and has served with co-leaders throughout her time in ministry. However, if I am being honest, there have been times I’ve rushed the process or recruited someone who wasn’t the best fit. Thankfully God has still used those individuals in those moments, but it has forced us to think about the recruitment process and how we interview leaders.

With our unique backgrounds of recruiting volunteers, being a volunteer, and serving with volunteers we wanted to offer some helpful insight and suggestions on what your interviews could look like when recruiting new volunteers to your ministry. We want to offer insight into what we have learned through our time in ministry that has impacted our recruitment and interview strategies.

Ask them to share their faith journey.

One of the best ways you can get to know someone is asking them about their faith journey. You get to hear how God has worked in their life, what has changed for them, and also why they care about serving in the church. Often times you will hear about how student ministry impacted their life or how their experience with Jesus has directed them to work with students.

Get to know them and their family.

During an interview of potential volunteers I always try to get to know them at a personal level. I ask about their favorite restaurants, their favorite snacks, what they do for a living, and I ask about their family. Family is super important and it’s always good to be able to walk with your volunteers and their families. This allows you to care holistically for your team and to see how you can pray and care for them.

Ask them to share the Gospel.

When it comes to working with students who fall all along the faith paradigm, it is important to know that your leaders can share the Good News with your students. Ask them to share it and pay attention to how they do it. If it’s a typical Romans Road style, ask them how they would share their faith with students who aren’t sure they believe the Bible just yet. Encourage them to think outside of the “typical” methods and think about doing it in a boots-on-the-ground way when students ask hard and personal questions.

Have them do a personality assessment.

This is always a great idea to do with any leadership team, but especially with new volunteers. You’ll learn about what they value, you’ll find out their stressors, you’ll uncover strengths and weaknesses, and you will be able to figure out who should be their co-leader based on how they will work together.

Ask them about their leadership style.

As you are getting to know the potential volunteer, ask them about how they lead. Do they work well with other leaders? Does their style work with what your vision is pointing toward? Are they focused on discipleship or simply teaching at students? Are they confrontational or willing to work with different people and personalities? Is it their way only or will they work with leadership? What are their strengths and weaknesses? Knowing the leadership style and gifting of your volunteers allows you to place them in the portion of your ministry where they will succeed and have the greatest impact on your students.

Find out why they want to serve with students.

This is a question I learned to ask because I began to see disconnects among some of my leaders. We are a discipleship-based ministry and our leaders ask our students a lot of questions during small group time and help them think through practical application for their lives.

But we had some leaders who thought small group time was another time to teach a secondary lesson or reteach what was already taught so it was taught correctly. That presented some difficult conversations with those leaders, but ultimately we were able to all be on the same page. It’s important to make sure the values and reasoning for serving with your students reflects the heart and mission of your ministry.

Ask how they would work with another leader.

Depending on where you serve, the possibility of having two or more leaders for a single small group is a luxury you may not have at this point. However, you will at least have them working with you as the other leader, which means you need to know more about how they work with others. Ask them questions about their leadership style. Ask them how they respond to authority. Investigate how they handle disagreements or differences with other adults. Ask about their communication style. These questions will help you think through how they will fit within your ministry and with other leaders.

Ask them their thoughts on the vision of the ministry.

Whenever someone is looking to join a ministry or an organization, you should make sure that they understand and align with the mission and vision of the ministry. Having someone serve on your team who doesn’t align with the direction and focus will ultimately lead to tensions and disconnects, which will come to a head. When you interview someone ask them what they think about your vision. Ask them how they see that mission playing out in their lives. Ask them how they will help model that vision to the students.

After sharing the requirements of the ministry, verify if they can commit to them.

This has been a misstep for me all too often. I’ve noticed confusion after the fact because I didn’t clearly articulate what we are asking of each individual leader. This often came about when leaders thought they had to serve in both our Wednesday and Sunday programs. And that rests on my shoulders because I hadn’t stated that they choose to do either or they could do both, but both programs aren’t a requirement. So make sure that the commitment is clearly stated, and then make sure that the volunteer can follow through with it.

Ask how you can be praying for them.

If we are truly shepherding our people, we should be doing this with even our potential volunteers. Often our people are carrying huge burdens, and simply knowing that a leader cares about them will mean the world. Be intentional, be relational, and be caring as you meet with individuals and love them well.