Tag: help

7 Tips for Setting a Phone Usage Policy

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Technology is a game changer. Love it or hate it, it is here to stay, and the harsh reality is that it is becoming a greater part of our lives with each passing day. It isn’t lost on me that I write this on a computer, connected to WiFi, on a website I can literally access from anywhere on my phone, in order to connect with a wide range of people.

Technology is both a blessing and a curse, especially when it comes to ministry. Students love their tech and the tech they love the most is their phones. Students are streaming videos constantly, sending selfies and adding to streaks every couple of minutes, playing games, sharing memes, and finding their identity in and through their phone.

Have you noticed it at your youth group yet? Have you seen the student who claims to be using their Bible app but no one makes that face reading the Bible? Have you seen the student who is playing a game during your message? How about the student whose face is never unglued from their device? What do you do about it? How do you handle it?

I am no expert at this, but I have found ways to utilize technology and a lack of technology for the benefit of our students and our group overall. Here are some tips on how to handle this issue well.

1. Set a policy and stick to it

Policies will look different for each ministry, but the key is setting the policy and sticking to it. Some ministries don’t allow phones, others do. Some ask students to engage with their phones during the evening, others don’t. I know students will have their phones, but during our message time and small groups we ask our students to put them away because we provide notes, Scripture, and all that they need. It isn’t because we don’t like phones, but we want to help remove distractions during specific moments.

2. Have a policy for trips

This is important because depending on what type of trip you are on, phones may be necessary. When we take students to our denominational conference we are in a convention center in the city with thousands of other students. We know our students could be doing any number of things at the conference and we want to be able to communicate with them. Therefore, we allow them to have their phones. On shorter trips or mission trips we do not allow them as we want students to be intentional about building lasting relationships with one another and with Jesus. We communicate this to families well before each trip, and also give parents other means of contacting their students (like calling leader phones) if necessary.

3. Model the policy

This is a big thing. I have been on trips and retreats where there is a no phone policy for students but leaders are often seen on their phones. Students end up getting upset and frustrated because they were given a rule but the leaders seem to be above the law. When we tell students they can’t have phones, we explain that leaders will have theirs for emergencies and photos only. I make it very clear that leaders are not to be using phones in front of students unless it is for one of those reasons. That way leaders are following the rule and also intentionally connecting with their students.

4. Share your phone policy

I stated this briefly above, but whenever we go on trips we explain to parents and students what our phone policy is and why we have it. By sharing this with families it helps us all to be on the same page and it avoids any day-of conflict about having a phone on a trip. It is also important to communicate with families about your phone policies for your weekly programming. This could be done through an email, a newsletter, a social media post, or by hosting a parent meeting.

5. Utilize phones well

Some ministries allow phone usage more than others because it works in their context. If this is the case for your ministry, make sure to talk about how to use phones well in your setting. Talk about various apps students can and should use. In fact, a great resource would be to utilize the Bible App as a means for students to take notes during your messages. You can always use phones to take polls from students, have them text in questions, and interact with the media you are using. You can also look into developing an app that incorporates all of the above aspects and encourage your students to use this during your programming to help them stay engaged.

6. Cast vision for why you are disconnecting

If you are saying you are not allowing phones for weekly programming, a special event, or a trip, it is always good to discuss why. Families will often want to know if there is a specific reason for not having them, and what they need to do if there is an emergency. By sharing the vision and reason for disconnecting you will help parents to be on board with it.

7. Empower your leaders to speak into the moment

Often it isn’t every student who is on their phone, but a singular student or a smaller group. Instead of calling them out all the time in front of everyone, encourage their leaders to engage with them and find out why they are on their phone. Some kids hear better with additional stimuli. Others want to appear to be disengaged and cool. Others may not care or have never been mentored in how to listen and engage. The reality is we don’t know why they are on their phone until we engage and your leaders are the ones best suited for the job.

How do you deal with phone usage in your ministry? Is it something you encourage or discourage? What advice would you share with others about this topic?

Our Picks: Top Bibles for Students

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Part of our role in ministry is helping students understand and interact with God’s Word. However, it seems that this is a struggle for our students, and I would assert for most Christians, and we don’t often see results. But as I have contemplated why this is, I have come away with two thoughts:

  1. Students needs to be taught and discipled in how to read and understand the Bible, and
  2. Students need Bibles that they can read and understand.

During a series on how to study the Bible, I actually ended up giving away over thirty Bibles to our students. Many of these students had Bibles that were gifted to them or passed down from another family member, but they all stated that they were too difficult to read. So I resolved to offer them multiple versions and translations in an effort to help them study and be in the Word more often.

Today I am sharing some of our top picks of Bibles for students in hopes that it will allow you to better equip, challenge, and disciple your students.

NLT Study Bible

This is an easy to understand Bible that uses common English language, and I have found many students enjoy how readable it is. It offers a lot of resources and helpful tools for students throughout the text, and is a less cumbersome Bible to carry around. You can find this in many variations (student’s, men’s, women’s, etc.), but I personally like the regular pocket size style or the Teen Life Application Study Bible for students. The compact size is an easy addition to a backpack and the Teen Life Application Study Bible is not very large or heavy and has applicable material for students.

CSB Apologetics Study Bible for Students 

This has quickly become a favorite resource of mine and I have multiple copies of this Bible in my office. I have many students who are asking the hard questions and wondering what the Bible has to say about it. This Bible offers a vast amount of conversational pieces designed to help students understand how the Bible is integrated with real world issues, and how they should cultivate a Biblical response. This is on top of the already detailed notes and insights that come with a standard study Bible, and it is in the easy to read and understand CSB version.

ESV Student Study Bible

This is a solid study Bible, and frankly I like it better than the larger ESV Study Bible most adults prefer. It doesn’t skimp or trim on the material, but rather puts it in easier to understand verbiage that is geared toward students and practical life application. This version also comes in a variety of colors and in hardcover and paperback which allows for preference and versatility.

Jesus Centered Bible NLT

This has become one of my favorite Bibles to date, and my students love it! I have also handed this out to adults and my senior pastor who have found it be incredibly helpful in understanding more about Jesus and how we engage with Scripture. What makes this Bible stand out is that the over 600 Old Testament passages that point Jesus are in blue text with additional helpful information about said text. It helps students who are reading the Old Testament to understand how Jesus played a role during that time, and how that then applies to their lives. It helps them to see the validity and necessity of all Scripture.

CSB Study Bible 

This is a personal favorite and one that I have seen more and more students gravitating toward. The CSB Study Bible is designed to help you grow in your relationship with God by using readable and reliable text. The editors of the CSB have sought to remain as literal as possible to the original text and meaning, while also making it easier to engage with Scripture by making it readable. This version is becoming more and utilized throughout churches and students love the easy to read and understand translation. They also have a student version of this study Bible, and I am always trying to get these into the hands of my students.

Have a Bible that you recommend? Let us know in the comments!

8 Tips for Generating Early Sign-Ups

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Have you ever tried to get students to sign up for a trip? Have you ever received that last minute phone call, text, email, or DM asking for a student to be allowed to go? Have you been in that situation where its the week of the trip and only one student has signed up for a trip and you may have to cancel?

I get it. We have all been there. Getting students to sign up early, let alone on time, is extremely difficult. For many years I just assumed this was the norm in student ministry, but it doesn’t have to be. There is a way to make it work. I want to share some tips on how to achieve earlier sign-ups and increase them overall.

I should note that you won’t see changes overnight. In fact it may take a couple of semesters, trips, or years for changes to be seen. But don’t get discouraged. Stick to your values, keep the rules you set, and see what happens. Actual change will take time and if you begin to implement these tips it may just help move that change forward in the right direction.

1. Cast vision early.

This is something I learned early on in my tenure in student ministry. It is important to share the what, the how, and the why. If you are asking for students and families to have buy-in to what you are doing, talk about it as early as possible. Communicate why you are going on this trip. What will be the result? What will happen in students’ lives? How will this trip be paid for? Why should a student go? Why is this important in their spiritual journey? Answering these questions early on will allow for families to better plan and prepare for what you are doing, and it will generate buy-in.

2. Be excited about the trip.

Have you ever started at a new church where you had to take students on a trip to a place you had never been? I have, and I will be honest: it was hard generating excitement about going somewhere I had never been. So instead of talking about just the logistics, I shared about what I was looking forward to. I shared pictures and videos of where we were going. I tried to make travelling overnight sound like an amazing adventure (and it was an adventure). My point is this: if you aren’t excited, or you talk about the trip begrudgingly or with no emotion, why would you expect students to go? Get excited and let your excitement bleed into your students as you prepare to go.

3. Know what you are talking about.

This is a big thing to remember. Make sure the information you are sharing is accurate and clear. I will admit that sometimes I have shared inaccurate information and it has kept students and families from signing up. I have been actively looking to better communicate and share what I know to be correct information. In fact, if I don’t know the answer I let them know I will find out and share it with them as soon as I do. This actually helps me be more intentional with communicating with the host site or camp. I ask better questions and get their vision for our trip and that allows me to share more accurate information with my people.

4. Communicate with parents.

Have you ever felt like parents don’t know what is happening? Or have you ever received the email that claims they knew nothing about your upcoming trip or retreat? The reality is that there will always be communication that is missed, but what we should be looking to do is over-communicate.

Think about it: parents have hundreds of emails coming to them all the time. They are seeing all the stuff you are on social media and probably even more. They are trying to balance school activities, sports, social lives and so much more. Be willing to give grace when appropriate but also seek to communicate ahead of time through multiple outlets, and continue to send out communications. Consider hosting a plenary parents only meeting to share about what is coming up. No, you won’t get every parent on your first go-around, but the number will steadily increase as they see your passion and desire to share. The more parents know, the more your students will know, and the more sign-ups you will get because you are all on the same page.

5. Have an early bird sign-up.

Want to guarantee more sign-ups? Work within your budget to have an early bird deadline. Most camps and retreat centers already have that, which is why we preregister so we can save money. But what if you offered the early bird price that you paid for a certain period, and then the price went up to the actual cost (the cost it would be if you hadn’t preregistered)? Now you are generating a desire for students and parents alike to save money. This almost guarantees sign-ups because no one wants to pay extra if they don’t have to. And you are not simply upping the price for the sake of doing so, but from an ethical and moral standard you are keeping it in line.

We do this for all of our big trips. We figure out the lowest possible cost and offer that as the early bird. Then we adjust the rate going forward in accordance with the up-charge in the conference fee. We offer four different payment times: early bird, regular, late, and last minute. At most we have three to five late sign-ups and maybe one last minute because of the price differential. Not only does this generate sign-ups, it also alleviates a lot of stress. Planning appropriate deadlines affords you the ability to collect registrations in a timely manner.

6. Offer a payment plan.

Let’s be real: for some families, paying for longer trips is taxing financially. We get that. If you are asking a family to drop a thousand dollars right away for a trip, you won’t get many sign-ups. If you present a payment plan instead, and give them a means to an end, you will allow families to participate with less financial burden up front. If you have different sign up times you will need to have a plan for each one, but again, it allows families to see how much they owe and when, which can ease the burden.

7. Don’t allow late sign-ups.

This is a big thing for me. I used to always allow people to sign up late. I would hear their reasons why they hadn’t, I would see the change this trip could bring about in a student’s life, and I understood being busy. But what I didn’t see was that I was cultivating a culture where rules, guidelines, and timing didn’t matter. It added stress and tension to planning a trip and going on it. That student didn’t have buy-in like everyone else. Recently we made the decision to not allow late sign-ups unless extenuating circumstances applied. This is a tough stance to hold and there were parents who pushed back. But we shared our reasoning and heart behind it, and when communicated effectively beforehand, parents will see that the were ample opportunities to sign up earlier.

8. Host a scholarship program. 

Regardless of whether there are payment plans or not, you will always have families who cannot afford to pay for trips. Please consider offering scholarships for those families. It may not be a full ride, but even a little may allow for a student to go who originally couldn’t. This may mean getting creative and reworking your budget to put money aside for scholarships, or hosting a sponsorship event at your church, or even seeing if the church would consider taking a special offering. Any time you can help a student go to a camp, trip, or retreat could be life changing with eternal results. So think about how you can help get students to camp who need the financial help.

How to Value + Incorporate Story Telling in Student Ministry

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Everyone loves a good story, especially if it’s true. Historically our world has relied on stories to tell us where we’ve been, where we’re going, and how to live in the here-and-now. Christianity especially is grounded on a book full of stories about God and His people.

Story telling is nothing new, in the world or in student ministry. But at times we may forget just how powerful and important the telling of true stories can be. For followers of Jesus, they can be a compelling marker for the ways in which our lives have been changed and can be changed by the Gospel.

Valuing Story Telling

One of the best ways to truly value the telling of stories within a church context is also one of the most simple: keep them true. Whether it’s a quirky illustration or a heartfelt recounting, make sure it’s a true story. Nothing turns listeners off more than realizing a great story is fake. Conversely, nothing connects a listener to a speaker more than an honest retelling of their life experiences.

True stories are especially important when it comes to connecting “real life” to our faith. For many students, faith can feel like an abstract concept, resulting in a separation of their faith journey from their everyday life. The telling of true, personal stories can model a bringing together of our everyday lives and our faith, showing how the two are woven together at all times. True stories from our lives connect the abstract to reality.

True stories also help to illustrate the life change that the Gospel brings about, showing that Jesus Christ isn’t just a historical figure but a living being who interacts with us now. Stories can demonstrate the power and applicability of the Gospel to the struggles our students may be facing. They can move a message from a broad theme of “the Gospel can change your life” to a specific example of “how the Gospel changed my life.”

In a way, the valuing of true, personal story telling is also a way for us to value the Gospel. If the truth of Jesus Christ has changed your life, you will have stories to back it up. And even more than that, you will want to share these stories so that others may know about the Jesus you have encountered.

Incorporating Story Telling

An obvious and easy way to incorporate story telling into your youth ministry is to include it in weekly messages. Again, using true and personal stories to illustrate your main points is much more powerful than a generic story about “a friend” or “a girl named Sarah.” Even if the story about your friend is true, unless your friend is telling it, there will be less of a connection between the story and your students. Aim to keep all your stories to personal and factual accounts.

Another way to incorporate story telling while also building community and connection is to invite leaders and students into the process. Some of the most powerful student ministry nights have featured a leader or student sharing their personal story of how Jesus changed their life. Consider structuring a series around the sharing of leader and/or student testimonies. Planning in advance will allow you to meet with each story teller to help them prepare and practice telling their story. In addition to giving them a platform to share the Gospel, you will also build community between story tellers and those who listen, resulting in the strengthening and building up of relationships within your ministry.

Look for ways to empower your students to tell their stories. Some may not feel comfortable sharing in front of the entire group, but that shouldn’t make their story any less valuable. All followers of Christ should be encouraged to write and track the story of how He has changed and is changing their life.

Consider hosting an event to help students write and tell their story, providing tips, personal assistance, creative options, and tools like a journal and pens. Some students might write their story like an essay, while others may want to write it like poetry or spoken word. Leave time at the end of the event for an “open mic” session for any who would like to share. Secure a few leaders and/or students ahead of time to share and help get things started.

When you incorporate story telling into your ministry, your goal should be to not only share your story or your leaders’ stories. It should be to champion and equip your students in the telling of their stories as well. Each follower of Jesus is part of God’s overarching story, and to value the telling of individual stories is to value our place in it.

Becoming a Better Leader

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Being an effective leader means we must continue to grow and learn so we can better minister to those under our care. Leading isn’t just about being the face of a ministry or the main teacher, it is also about caring for those under your leadership.

Looking back at my ministry career I have seen areas that I have grown in and I want to share some of them with you. Now please hear me on this: I didn’t learn all of these things right away. Most of them were through difficult moments, some of which were my fault. But in all of these moments I hope that you can hear some advice and avoid the missteps I had.

None of these in and of themselves will make you a better leader, but put them together with a desire to be used by God and for God, and you will see Him use you in mighty ways.

Listen.

A big part of growing in leadership is growing in listening. Listen to your leaders, your team, your students, your superiors, and families. I am not saying that everything everyone says is going to be beneficial or helpful, but if people truly care about you and the ministry, they will seek to help you. So listen and be willing to let go of pride in order to grow and become who God is shaping you into.

Learn.

As a leader you should never stop learning. Our mission and foundation never changes: make disciples by communicating the Gospel. However, new ways of ministering, cultural shifts, advancements in technology, and many other areas are always adapting and evolving. We must be willing to learn and become better. If we ever stop learning as a leader, or believe we know it all, we will become ineffective and arrogant.

Shepherd.

If I am honest with you, this is a place where I have fallen short. At times I have allowed myself to focus on growth, establishing the program, and running everything, but I have forgotten to actually care for and guide my leaders. If we are not caring for our people, if we are not intentionally sharing life with them, we have missed the mark. Our ministry is to shepherd others as Christ shepherds. We need to love and care for our people in the valleys and the mountains. This has to be a priority in order to establish longevity in ministries and churches.

Grow.

This is similar to continual learning, but it takes it a step further. Be willing to challenge and push yourself. Try new things. Experiment. Step out in faith. Take risks. Part of growing is seeking to discern where God is calling you and the ministry you lead. How are you growing as a leader? Who is challenging you? How are you challenging yourself? Model growth and watch it replicate itself in your ministry.

Lead.

Be the leader God has called you to be. Sometimes it is easy to get in our own heads, to hear the attacks of the enemy, or to allow a critique to break us down. Do not stop leading. God didn’t empower you with His Spirit so you could sit on the sidelines. He established you as His child, called you into His service, and has put you where you are for such a time as this. Lead and lead well. Never out of pride or arrogance, but lead as Christ led. Lovingly disciple and guide the flock and empower others to lead with you. Remember that being a leader doesn’t mean doing everything. So be willing to grow and enable others to lead and shepherd them in those roles.

Retreat.

I have written about this before, but make sure that you are retreating and taking time away. Taking a break is healthy and necessary. Jesus retreated often to pray and reflect. God rested after creation. If God models this, shouldn’t we follow His example? Take advantage of your vacation time. Retreat and refresh. Shut off your laptop and phone. Spend time with Jesus. Be present with your family. Doing this not only will refresh you, but will also model an example to others of a healthy lifestyle, ministry, and relationship with Jesus.

Step back.

Assessing your ministry and your role is not a bad thing. In fact it is extremely healthy to do an assessment periodically. See what is working and what isn’t. Think creatively. Bring in new voices. Listen to people who are invested. Doing this allows you to have a fuller view of your ministry and to make the necessary changes.

Should I Use Curriculum?

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One of the questions I am most often asked is: do you use a curriculum when you craft your messages? This questions and others like it constantly pop up in forums, Facebook groups, and in youth worker gatherings as people try to navigate whether using someone else’s material is appropriate, and if they do, how to incorporate it well.

To answer the above question, sometimes I use curriculum and other times I craft my own messages, it just depends. Honestly, choosing to use a curriculum is a choice each person will need to make on their own, but I can say that it is okay to use it. You shouldn’t feel bad for using a pre-made lesson or series. These are resources to utilize that will help you grow, mature, and be a better youth leader. But in saying that, there are a few guidelines and principles that I think should be followed when using a curriculum in order for it to have the best affect on your students.

Plan ahead.

Work ahead on your schedule as much as you can so you aren’t trying to get curriculum for this week, or tomorrow night. By doing this you remove the pressure of finding the best curriculum for your program in a short amount of time, and you give yourself breathing room to pick something that is best for your students and what you are looking to create. Don’t pick a curriculum to just fill the space, but be intentional in what you choose and why you choose it. Build it into the mission and vision of your program so that it all flows together well.

Vet the curriculum.

Make sure the curriculum is solid before choosing to use it. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard people say that they purchased a curriculum site-unseen in hopes of using it that week and it turned out to not be worth what they paid. Look for reviews or previews of the curriculum. See if other people have used it before. Purchase or gather your curriculum from trusted sources. Some great online sources for curriculum include Leader Treks, Download Youth Ministry, The Source 4 YM, Orange, YM360, YouthMin.org, and Group Ministries.

Read through your curriculum.

Once you have the material you are using, take time to read through the entire curriculum. Look at the resources they give you, see how many lessons they provide, look into how they utilize Scripture, and make notes and tweaks to the material as you read through. Often when I am reading through curriculum I look for where there are personal stories or phrases that only relate to the author’s audience and note them so when I am preparing my lesson I know to change them.

Know your audience.

When using a curriculum, remember who you are using it for. I have heard people use a curriculum and reuse someone else’s stories or examples word-for-word. Typically what happens is the stories fall flat, students disengage, and you can instantly tell that the message is not having the desired effect. What I suggest is knowing your students and shaping the curriculum around them. Take the material and make sure it is relatable and translatable to your audience.

Use the curriculum as a springboard.

Whenever I use a curriculum I never use it verbatim. I look for the big ideas, the translatable concepts, Scripture passages, and key points. Then I look to shape those areas around a lesson I craft; I take the meat of the curriculum and shape it for my context. This does take a little more time, but I would never advocate for simply reading from a pre-crafted message because it feels disconnected. Crafting a lesson from a curriculum saves you time while also allowing you to put your own heart and passion into the message.

Building a Meaningful Schedule

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Scheduling events: you either love it or hate it. I have been on both sides during my time in ministry. Some ministries had schedules that were fluid and never held to, and others that held so strongly to them that everything was figured out to within a minute.

Regardless of whether you like schedules or not, they are important. Our lives outside of ministry are often run by schedules, and students and parents value schedules, consistency, and structure. I have learned over the years that having a schedule not only helps to provide structure and support to students and families, but it also helps your leaders to know your plans, have buy-in, and see that you are someone who keeps their word.

Building a schedule can seem overwhelming or difficult, so as we move into a new year, I would like to do two things to help with that: give you some steps to follow in making a schedule and also provide you with two that I use.

Shape it around the priorities.

In order to have a proper schedule, you must shape it around the priorities of your ministry. The reason schedules often fail is because the priorities aren’t driving it and therefore the priorities become muddied and devalued.

So step back, look at your ministry, identify the areas you are passionate about, focus your time-frame around them, and build outward. If you value games and community they should hold the majority of your ministry time. If you see small groups as being the most important, show that through the time you allot. Shape the ministry around the priorities.

Assign appropriate amounts of time.

One area I see churches as whole struggle with is assigning appropriate amounts of time to different aspects of their schedules. Whether it is giving offering too little time in Planning Center, or not allowing the time it takes to calm students down after an amazing game that “didn’t involve eating marshmallows,” you must allow for the appropriate time for each activity or portion of your schedule. In fact I would encourage you to overestimate on time, which will give you a little buffer. If you know you tend to run long in teaching, give your teaching time an extra five minutes, which will allow you to better shape the rest of your schedule.

Allow time for transition.

This is usually something that we miss in crafting schedules, and honestly one I didn’t see until a leader brought it to my attention. When you are managing a youth group, you know that in transitioning from games to teaching or teaching to small groups, there is always some time lost. When I stepped back and saw what my leader was sharing I began to adapt my schedule to reflect the transition times. That of course meant I lost time elsewhere, but it allowed for me to focus on the priorities and trim areas that could be trimmed without compromising the mission and vision of the program.

Know the space.

This may seem like an obvious statement, but when you are building your schedule, knowing your space is key. If you are using an unfamiliar space for an outreach or special event, you have to acknowledge that there will be timing issues due to the unfamiliarity. So build in a buffer for those moments.

Be willing to be flexible.

I know after talking about scheduling and making sure the timing works, saying “be flexible” almost seems counter-intuitive. But we all know that rarely do schedules go perfectly. Be willing to allow for flexibility and to go with the flow to some extent. If your teaching time is delayed because you’re engaged with a student in a heart-to-heart conversation, allow the Spirit to work and be flexible. If a student gets injured during a game, acknowledge timing for the evening will be off and that is okay. If your teaching is shorter than planned, give more time to small groups. Flexibility within a schedule is key and will allow for a more relational component to what you are doing.

Allow for God to move.

Have you ever felt that your best laid plans fell through? Has your message ever gone too long or too short? Have you ever felt like people didn’t get the point? Me too! But so often that is where I see and hear of God moments. These are moments where in spite of our best planning and humanity God moves in ways we would have never seen coming. That doesn’t give us the freedom to not have a schedule or to constantly change it, but to understand there are moments when God steps in and that is good. It isn’t an excuse but an acknowledgement of God working in and through us.

Consider using scheduling software.

Our church uses Planning Center for scheduling and it is a lifesaver. It lets you schedule people to specific roles, allows them to confirm or decline their roles, allows you to create templates, and to build in pre- and post-service needs like setup and tear-down. Most planning software does cost money, but if your church uses it elsewhere, like for Sunday services for example, then they should be able to create a user account for you as well at no added cost.

Bring your leaders into the process.

Cast the vision for what you are doing and share your heart for the way you are shaping the schedule. Allow your leaders to offer insight and critique in order to build the best schedule for your group. This not only allows your leaders to have a voice but now they share your vision and passion. This creates a unified front, you will have multiple people who are helping to craft your programming, and they understand flexibility and the purpose behind what is happening.

So what does this look like practically? Below are our high school schedules for Sunday morning, which is more focused on Christian education, and Wednesday night, which is our main youth group evening.

Sunday Schedule, 10:30-11:40 a.m.:

10:30-10:40

  • Community

10:40-10:45

  • Announcements

10:45-10:55

  • Game

10:55-11:40

  • Teaching and small groups

11:40    Dismiss

Wednesday Schedule, 6:45-8:45 p.m.:

5:30-6:30

  • Setup

6:30-6:45

  • Leaders meeting

6:45-7:00

  • Community

7:00-7:20

  • Organized games

7:20-7:25

  • Transition

7:25-7:30

  • Announcements

7:30-8:00

  • Teaching

8:00-8:05

  • Transition to small groups

8:05-8:45

  • Small groups

8:45

  • Dismissal

Leading Small Groups: Self-Guided Discussion

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There may be times as a small group leader that you don’t have pre-scripted questions, or your students aren’t vibing with the questions you have. While it may not always flow seamlessly, those are times when I like to move to what I call “self-guided discussions.” These are discussions facilitated by a small group leader, but essentially led by the needs, responses, and thoughts of the small group. Here is a basic look at how to lead your group using a self-guided discussion.

If you can, do a little pre-discussion prep.

The longer you spend with your particular small group, the more you will learn about them. You will be able to identify key areas that impact their lives individually and collectively. As you learn these things, you will be able to identify key topics or themes from weekly lessons that will be most relevant to them.

If you know the lesson topic prior to youth group, you can prep beforehand. Otherwise, you can take notes and write questions during the teaching time. Look for ways to connect the topic or key points of the lesson to the lives of your students. Come up with some questions that will lead students to make these connections on their own, rather than simply spoon-feeding them the answers.

Ask, “What stood out to you?”

If I can tell my students are engaged and thinking through to the topic, I want to hear what is standing out to them. Often I like to ask this question first to see what spoke to them, what they are thinking about, and what they might need to spend extra time talking through. Sometimes this will dictate the entire direction of our discussion time, especially if it is a topic I know will benefit the entire group.

When asking this question, you may get answers (or comments) that don’t exactly relate to the lesson topic. Sometimes your students might go entirely off topic. If it’s something worth talking about, I would encourage you not to completely shut down the discussion. Some of the best conversations I’ve had with my small group originated from what seemed like a tangent. It’s okay to deviate from the intended topic and let conversation grow organically as long as it’s beneficial and not an attempt to distract the group. This can be one of the best aspects of self-guided discussion.

Ask follow-up questions based on students’ answers.

After asking the students what stood out to them, use their answers to guide your questions. Pick a key word or topic from their answers to hone in on. Ask follow-up questions that will steer the conversation in a helpful direction. This is a great way to help students connect broad topics to real-life application. It also allows you to spend more time on things that are important to your students, rather than glossing over them to move on to the next question.

Apply questions and answers to specific life circumstances or issues.

As I mentioned before, it’s important for us to assist students in connecting the truths of Scripture to their lives. They need to be able to see the relevance of lesson topics for their lives. These connections may be easy for them to make, but other times they may struggle. This is where you as a leader can guide them into making these connections with the questions you ask. The more you know about your students, the more you will be able to connect topics to their specific life circumstances.

Within this, it is important not to disclose things you have been told in confidence by students. Use discretion in how you address topics, keeping student privacy in mind. If a student has shared an issue previously with the group at large, I recommend speaking to them privately before bringing it up again in the group. This can be as simple as pulling them aside and asking for their permission to bring up the topic, or asking them if they would be willing to share about it.

Encourage your students to ask questions.

Self-guided discussion truly becomes self-guided when your students start asking questions. This may start with them asking you things, but eventually they will hopefully begin to ask each other follow-up questions. Even if you don’t know the answer to a student’s question, encourage them by affirming their question, and if needed, doing some research so you can follow-up with an answer. Be honest and open with your students. You don’t have to share everything, but you will be able to connect with them on a deeper level if you let them into your life. This will help to build rapport between you and your students.

Setting Healthy Boundaries: Home and Church Life

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When you work for a church or ministry you may have office hours, but you are also aware that you are never fully “off the clock.” Whether it’s answering an urgent text from a student who is in crisis, dealing with a “when was the camp signup” question from a parent, or attempting to finish something at home, we all know the feeling of having too much to do and not enough time to do it.

However, it isn’t healthy to go at top speed at all points in our lives. If this is how we continue to go we will experience burnout, bitterness, and hurt from all that we continue to do. I say this not to make you feel badly over all you have been doing, but as someone who has been there and experienced this in my own life. We must have healthy boundaries in place to protect ourselves, our families, and the ministries we serve. I’d like to offer a few thoughts on how I’ve managed to set and protect certain boundaries in order to preserve myself, my family, and my ministry.

Make sure time off is time off.

So often we see our work as necessary and kingdom focused (which it is) but so is our ministry to our spouse and family, and to ourselves. Let me encourage you to allow your time off to be time off. Try to not do work during those moments, fully engage with your family, and rely on God when the doubts and fears creep in that tell you that you are failing because you aren’t going 100 miles per hour. Having healthy time off will allow for you to be a better minister because you will be filled and whole rather than tired and fractured.

Be on the same page with superiors.

When I started at my new job I told my superiors that date night was on Fridays and I wanted to honor that with Elise. I also asked about hours and weekend commitments because I’ve been in positions before that required more hours than what I was paid for. My superiors explained that days off were for just that and my work hours over forty were extra hours that could be applied to time off. There are special circumstances of course, but the church and I were on the same page, so when I share with people I am off the clock I know I have a team who has my back.

I am also aware that I am blessed with church leadership who care and honor the right priorities in the right order, but others of you may not have that same experience. I would encourage you to first talk to those in leadership over you and see if perhaps the priorities align but simply haven’t been stated. Regardless of how that conversation goes, you can begin to set the tone within your own ministry setting and lead out to your people and students. Use the options you have and look to protect your time as best you can. You may not always have the support you would like, but you can still lead out and set healthy boundaries and parameters within your context while still honoring your superiors.

Don’t let work take the place of family.

When was the last time you took a work call or text, or answered an email at home or during family time? When was the last time you did the reverse? We are prone to allow work to become the number one priority in our lives, but the order of our priorities should be our relationship with God, our relationship with our family, and then our ministry. God called you first to Himself, then to your spouse and family, and finally as a shepherd to His flock.

That means we must not allow work to displace our family time, and our families must be given the attention and love they deserve. This is hard to do and yes there are always extenuating circumstances, but our families should never be second tier to the church. And honestly, if your church doesn’t affirm this, I would consider going to your superiors and asking hard questions about this topic in a Christ-honoring way. You have to make sure you are caring for your health and the health of your family.

Be transparent about time off.

I love to talk about date night in front of students and our church when I preach. Why you may ask? Because I want everyone to know I love my wife and time with her, but also to set the precedent that we want and deserve time together just like everyone else. It has been refreshing to hear church members who we bump into on Fridays want to honor our date night time, but also I’ve had countless people say they have learned they need to be better about dating and protecting their spouse. When you are open about who you are and where your priorities are, people are welcomed in and more apt to respect them.

Make sure your actions and words match.

This should be true in the church and the home. If you say date night is a priority to the church, make sure you honor that at home. If you ever wonder if your words and deeds match, consider asking your spouse and kids. They will be honest with you and allow for you to grow and become even better by working as a team. We can’t say family time is a priority but postpone it for “work stuff.” What our church and our families see should match. Our spouse and children should hear what we say and see it acted upon at home and in our relationships with them.

And the same should be true for our work. If we tell people we want to prioritize our families but continue to come to work while sacrificing family time, it shows that our word and deeds don’t match. If that is how we are governing our lives, it points toward a heart issue: “who/what are you working for.” Too often a workaholic mentality tends to point toward a pride issue or a desire to please man over God, and we need to look at our heart to make sure our actions and words match as we seek to honor God in all aspects.

Utilize your “do not disturb” option.

I’ll be honest: I struggle with not using my phone for work when I’m at home with Elise. I’ve been practicing something new this week and have been putting my phone on do not disturb. I began to realize how I was worrying about texts, calls, or emails and with “do not disturb” turned on, it has helped me so much in not worrying and making Elise more of a priority. Try it out and see how it works. We preach freedom from technology now it’s time to put it into play in our lives.

Empower your team.

For each of us the word “team” may look different. It could be a student ministry staff team, your volunteer core, or just you and a couple of regular leaders. Whatever the context is for you, empower your team to lead in your place. We cannot allow ourselves to be the only person for our students and leaders. If that is what we do we will always be the on-call person. But if you encourage others to lead, direct students to small group leaders, and allow your team to fulfill their roles, you are then empowering others while allowing space for yourself to breathe and experience balance in your life.

5 Ideas for Volunteer Appreciation

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As we approach Thanksgiving this year, I couldn’t help but reflect on how thankful I am for my team of volunteers. Truth be told, this has been a hard year for a multitude of reasons, and I have seen my volunteer team persevere and love on our students all the more. Even when tragedy hit our ministry and our leaders were grieving, they stepped in the gap and cared well for our students.

Our leaders are the boots-on-the-ground people, who love and care for our students. They sacrifice so much throughout the year to point students to Jesus, and we must make sure to honor and appreciate them. A verbal thank you or affirmation is always a plus–especially in front of your students, parents, and the church–but there are other ways to encourage and bless your leaders as well.

Today I want to share with you five ways you can bless your leaders throughout the year. Some require finances but others are simple ways to say “thank you” and love your leaders. My hope is that anyone could look at these ways to appreciate volunteers and find one that works within their context.

1. Write thank you notes.

This may sound easy or a bit old school, but getting a handwritten note in the mail that recognizes you for what you did is a huge blessing. Consider saying thank you when a leader goes above and beyond, or when a leader does exactly what you have asked of them, or when they have had a hard week or night at youth group. Snail mail is a great way to empower, bless, and care for your leaders. Let me encourage you to go beyond just a generic thank you and put heart and passion into your note and let that be an encouragement to your people.

2. Honor special days.

Whenever a leader has an anniversary, has served for long periods, has a birthday, graduates from school, gets married, or whatever else is a celebration, make sure to honor that. Whether it is a text, call, taking them out to coffee, sending a gift or flowers, or recognizing them at youth group, you are taking an interest in their life and showing you care. Knowing special moments and making them even more special shows love on your end, and helps your leaders know you are for them.

As a quick aside, I would also say to make sure you honor your leaders during days that are significant for a different reason. When a leader experiences loss, gets fired, or is going through a tough season, reach out and love on them. Let them know you are there for them, listen as they process and grieve, and seek to bless them in whatever way is meaningful to them (bring them a meal, take them for coffee, bring them coffee, send flowers, write a card, etc.). How you honor these days will speak even louder than how you honor the really good ones.

3. Allow for time off for your leaders.

In the workforce, at school, and even in the home, we observe holidays and are offered time off, but often in ministry circumstances we for some reason forgo that. I cannot tell you how many ministries I have been a part of that don’t give time off for their leaders. They run programming during the holidays, they require commitment through the entire summer, and leaders have been made to feel guilty about not going on retreats and trips.

We must allow our leaders time off to refresh and recharge in whatever manner they need. Their family time and time to rest is huge, and we must honor that. Let me encourage you to consider taking a week or two off from programming around holidays, and consider scaling back your ministry during the summer to allow for your leaders to breathe easier and come back ready for fall programming.

4. Host leader-only gatherings.

One of my favorite times of the year is when we host our leader Christmas party. The past two years the parents in our ministry have taken ownership of the party and now provide a full meal, decorate, and pray over our leaders. Our ministry staff then has the ability to put our finances toward gifts and prizes for our leaders and we get to spend time blessing and encouraging them. Leader-only gatherings aren’t just for holidays, but also random outings for food, concerts, amusement parks, or even time spent watching football games at your home. These moments are super special. They show your leaders you value more than just a warm body at youth group and that you truly care about the relational component and their well-being.

5. Never make your leaders pay for trips/retreats.

This is one that based upon your budget may not be something you can do, but I would highly encourage you to consider this option if you can. One of the biggest pieces of my budget is a line solely for paying for leaders to go on trips free of charge. They already give so much, so we look to take care of the monetary costs whenever possible. We also try to pick up travel meals if possible, and put together leader gift bags for all of our retreats.

Even if you are not able to cover the cost of the trip, consider putting together gift bags for your leaders. Ours contain things like a handwritten thank you note, a regular size candy bar, granola bar, Chapstick, earplugs, a sleep mask, a coffee drink, Airborne, Advil, a salty snack, and whatever other gifts we can fit in there.

The reality is you don’t need to spend much or anything at all to bless your leaders and let them know you are thankful for them. Sure finances help, but you can always do or say something to let them know you love them and are so thankful for them. May we be shepherds who love our flock and love to bless them throughout the year.