Tag: Staff

Fact or Fiction: Student Ministry is a Stepping Stone

Posted on by 1 Comment

I am so excited to start this new series. Elise and I have talked at length about misconceptions, myths, and untruths when it comes to ministry as a whole. As we looked deeper into some of these thoughts, it was clear that in youth ministry especially, there are old myths that continue to exist.

As we processed these myths we began to see just how harmful they can be if believed. Like any myth or untruth, these will lead people away from student ministry and in fact do more damage to the students we are shepherding, the volunteers we are leading, and ultimately hamper us from following the calling God has placed on our lives.

Whenever we post for this series (and honestly this applies for any of our posts) we would love to dialogue with you about it. We want to hear your experiences, to tackle your questions, and wrestle with Scriptural truth together.

Today’s myth: Student ministry is a stepping stone to other ministry positions.

I remember the first time someone asked me when I was going to be a real pastor. I was serving as a youth pastor and I regularly taught and preached to our student group. I had officiated weddings and funerals. I had counseled students and adults. I had built a volunteer team and continued to pour into them. I was confused when I heard the question. So I responded with one of my own: what makes someone a real pastor?

The conversation that followed showed the biases that exist within church culture. Many people hold the belief that student ministry is simply childcare for students, and that youth pastors are “in training” to become real pastors a few years down the line.

The facts are completely different. As youth pastors we are real pastors. To assume otherwise calls into question the calling that God has placed on our lives, which in essence is calling God into question. God doesn’t call the perfect, the disciples are clear evidence of this, but He does call the ones who He needs at the right moment and at the right time.

As student pastors and youth workers we shouldn’t be constantly looking toward the next opportunity to advance. This is truly a heart issue because it shows that we ourselves are not content with the calling God has placed on our lives. Instead we should be focused on serving where God has placed us. If we are constantly thinking ahead to the next job or opportunity, we are devaluing the ministry we serve in and those within the ministry. We are basically saying it isn’t worth our full time and attention because there are bigger and better things elsewhere we are focused on.

We have all been gifted to serve in different areas. That’s the beauty of the body of Christ. No one area of ministry is greater than another. Adult ministry is not superior to children’s ministry. Care ministry isn’t greater than student ministry. Sunday mornings aren’t better than midweek programming. Ministry isn’t a competition, nor is it about personal advancement. It is all about the advancement of the Gospel and the Gospel alone.

Yes, this may not be the case where you serve. The structure of your church may highlight the view that not all ministries are equal. You may be underpaid or not paid at all. Students may be treated as less-than by other pastors or members. But you cannot allow for those things to define who you are and where you are going. Instead, focus on the calling God has placed on your life and trust Him to guide you to what comes next. Be content with where He has placed you, and don’t use it to simply move up the ranks.

There are countless studies (Barna is a great resource) that highlight the need for consistency in students’ lives and how students flourish off of continued investment by the same people. Inter-generational ministry will greatly help students grow in their faith and see that they are an integral part of the church. By staying and focusing on the ministry and students God has entrusted to you, you are valuing students and the church as a whole. Be willing to give more than just a few years, and consider giving your life for the calling God has placed upon you.

Is there a ministry myth you think we should tackle? Share it in the comments and you may see it in an upcoming post.

How to Connect with Difficult Students

Posted on by Leave a comment

The truth is we have all had a student, or students, that have been difficult in our ministry. There have been students who have tried our patience, they have disrupted teaching time and small groups, they may have broken things, or they never follow the rules.

Sometimes our propensity can be to get upset with or about them. We start to think they don’t care about others or maybe their home lives are bad and that’s why they lash out. Or perhaps we may try to connect but we have gotten tired when there is no response… or at least the response we want.

Students who get classified as difficult or disruptive are often the students who desperately need to be cared for. There are times we may feel like we are not getting through to them, but we must continue to pursue them and love them. Ministry was never meant to be easy, and Jesus came for all people especially those society would rather have forgotten. So let us be people, ministers, who seek to reflect Jesus as we care well for those that others would dismiss.

Build relationships.

In all circumstances, relationships are key. When working with people, we shouldn’t just assume that we can jump into any moment and give profound advice that will be heeded and life changing. We wouldn’t want people doing that to us, so why should we do that with students?

My point is this: you can only speak into someone’s life when you understand what is happening in their life. Meaning, in order to speak truth to someone, you need to know them. And you get to know someone by building relationships with them.

Now, I get it, you may be reading this and saying, “But I have tried… for a long time! I have tried, and it isn’t working.” Well, how do you know it isn’t? How do you know that the moments you showed care and love toward a student it wasn’t received or just outright dismissed? It may have felt and seemed that way in the moment, but you do not know the impact it may have had on their heart.

Continue to pour into your students, seek them out, love on them, take them out for coffee, show up at their games and activities. As you invest in their lives, they will begin to let you in.

Get to know the family.

Family history and knowledge of present family relationships is huge in helping you to know and understand your students. It can be easy to assume that there are issues at home because a student acts out, but that isn’t always the case. It could be home life, or it could be issues stemming from other aspects of the student’s life that the parents were not aware of (i.e. bullying, difficulty in school, failed relationships, etc.).

As you get to know the family, it will allow for you to build connections and relationships that will help you better care for the student. This may not always be the case as there may be problems within the family or they may not be involved in the church and therefore do not want your help. But being able to ascertain and see what is happening will give you greater insight into how to love and care for your students.

Be willing to listen.

This is huge for anyone, but especially for students. Students who often times are classified as difficult really feel they have not been heard. They believe they have been judged, marginalized, and profiled, and in many cases they have been. Let me encourage you to simply stop and listen to their stories. Hear their hearts. Acknowledge their hurt. In doing this you not only validate them, but you can help them to know they belong. As a student begins to know they have a place they begin to trust more and you will see headway happen.

Go to where they are.

We can easily do this for the students who we enjoy being around but when it comes to difficult students we don’t always make the extra effort. But let me encourage you to really lean into this. Go to their jobs, their games, the activities they are involved in. I love showing up at a restaurant or ice cream place where a student works. I get to see them, talk with them, and value them. Students who are struggling will see you making an effort, and though they may not say it or show it, they are glad you are there. These moments are huge in connecting with difficult students.

Meet them where they are at.

Here’s the thing with students who are struggling: they aren’t like everyone else. They may be angry or withdrawn. They will try to push you away. They won’t want to engage. But put yourself in their shoes: how would you want people to respond to you when you are at a low point? Do you want them to meet you there or walk away? Be willing to have hard conversations, be willing to listen, and be willing to love students even when they aren’t the clean cut Christians.

Know their history.

As you get to know your students, you will begin to know their history. They may not offer it up in one fell swoop, but they may drop hints along the way. Be listening for them, and be willing to connect the dots in later conversations. If they keep bringing up a certain event or person, pry into that by acknowledging they have talked about it. By actively listening and engaging with them, you will begin to know more about them. This will then help you in thinking through how to best minister to and care for them.

Stand up for them.

I am not saying to justify their attitudes, disruptions, or flat out misbehavior. But often times these students will be mocked, laughed at, and talked about by others. Shut that stuff down. Don’t allow for that to go on because it tells the one student that they don’t matter and that you don’t care, and it allows for the other students to engage in sinful behavior like gossip and slander.

By advocating for them, you are showing the student that your actions and words match: you truly care about and love them. Be for all students and look to help them grow as you minister to them.

I know in reading this you may still be thinking “this won’t work.” I get that and I hear you. But as someone who was one of those students, let me say this: it does work. It took my youth leaders over four years to break through my hard shell. But when they finally did, they were the people I trusted because I knew they loved and cared for me in ways no one else did. They didn’t give up, they didn’t dismiss me. They loved me and pursued me and are a huge part to why I am in ministry today. So continue to pursue your difficult students. Love them well and point them to Jesus. You never know how God will use you in their lives.

How have you reached difficult students in your ministry?

Tips for New Youth Pastors [Part 2]

Posted on by Leave a comment

Last week we took a look at some general tips for anyone starting a new youth pastor position. However, given that we are currently trying to do ministry during a pandemic this can look very different depending on where you serve. With safe guards in place and new requirements coming up frequently, it is important to address different ways of engaging with your students, families, and leaders in this new normal.

This week I want to share some helpful tips for those starting during this season that apply to a more socially-distanced style of ministry.

Coordinate digital meetups.

I know that many people hate video calls at this point and that Zoom-fatigue is setting in. But try hosting meetups online where people can come and get to know you. If you are doing it for students, try to engage with them outside of the normal meet and greet flow. Have some online games, utilize prizes (digital gift cards are awesome, especially if you can get them to local stores/restaurants), set up a digital scavenger hunt, or have people come in costume. All of these will help engage students who may not be super willing to jump into another Zoom session.

Increase your online presence.

Most youth workers have social media, but if you are like me… your personal feeds may be lacking. I don’t post often, and my students let me know. Even students who I don’t know personally have told me I need to up my Insta game.

My point? Students see us in all capacities, whether in person or online, and they are watching us. A great way to help students get to know is by posting about yourself. Not in some egotistical way, but in a way that shows who you are. Post pictures of your spouse and family doing things together, post where you are going or what you are doing especially if it is in town, host AMAs (Ask Me Anything) and polls in your stories, ask for advice on what to do and where to go. These are just a few ways to help you engage with others.

Utilize your youth group’s social media.

Depending on the size of your church and youth group, you may have social media accounts set up for your youth group. If so, leverage that to help people get to know you. Post about who you are and share some fun facts. Host a “get to know the youth pastor session” on your youth group’s pages. Post fun and funny videos of you getting acclimated to your new work environment. Post “Trivia Thursdays” and whoever answers the most questions correctly wins a digital gift card. Ask questions through a poll on your social media page or story.

Here are some easy questions to utilize in a post or story:

  • What would you like to see this coming year?
  • What series or topics would you like to have covered?
  • What is one thing you would like to see changed?
  • What is your favorite memory from youth group?
  • Why do you come to youth group?
  • What worship songs would you like us to play?
  • What would encourage your friends to come?
  • What games would you like to play online or in-person?

Send a note or postcard.

This will depend on the size of your youth group, but consider sending students a little hand written note introducing yourself, sharing about a digital meetup, and saying how excited you are to meet them. Receiving an actual letter or postcard is a sure way to connect with a student and their family as they will see you taking an interest in their student’s life.

If you serve in a large youth group and this isn’t a feasible option, consider sending a handwritten note to all your leaders. Your students will be looking to their leaders to get a feel for the new youth pastor, and if they have a good feeling for you it will be replicated to their students. It is also a sure fire way to value and elevate your leaders.

How have you seen ministry succeed during this time? What have been “wins” for your ministry?

Tips for New Youth Pastors [Part 1]

Posted on by 2 Comments

Even in the present state of things–with COVID-19 and certain states being under “stay at home” orders–churches are still hiring. Some are even hiring “online pastors” because of the current realities affecting ministries. That means that there are many people who are applying and being hired at churches.

Being hired at a new church is challenging on its own, but then you add in this new mix of social distancing and trying to connect electronically, and it is increasingly difficult. So what do we do?

Today, I would like to provide some tips and suggestions for new youth pastors in any season and then next week my desire will be to share tips for new youth pastors in our current circumstances. I would love to dialogue with anyone on this topic, especially those of you who are starting fresh in this new season.

Ask questions.

This is huge because it will give you insight you may not have had before. Often when you candidate you don’t get to meet everyone and you don’t get to have all the conversations that you may need. So ask questions. Talk to your students and ask them what they would want to see at youth group. Ask them what they value and desire. Ask what would encourage their friends to come. Engage with parents and ask them what resources would be helpful. Ask how you could better partner with and support them. Ask how you can better care for their students. Talk to your volunteers and ask them how you could better equip them. Ask them how they have been trained in the past and what would help them going forward. Ask them how you could best support, advocate for, and walk with them.

These questions and answers will give you insight into how to best care for your people and ultimately make you a better pastor. Asking questions, investing in people’s lives, and being willing to be challenged will help you to develop as a leader and value those you serve.

Listen.

I think it is easy at times to come in and think we know what to do and how to do it. I don’t think this is out of pride or arrogance but out of a desire to show that we know what we are doing and prove to the church who hired us that they made the right choice. But often times that means we don’t listen well or heed advice. Let me encourage you to take time and listen to what others are saying and to value it.

This will also allow for you to learn about any so-called “sacred cows” that exist. These are things that are immensely important to the church, that are difficult or impossible to change. While you candidate, most churches will tell you that they don’t have one. All churches do, but sometimes leaders don’t even know they exist. By listening to people you will hear what they value and why they value it, which will help you to learn what is the “sacred cow” within the ministry and the church at large.

Engage with students, leaders, families, and church members.

This seems obvious because of what we do. We are pastors after all and part of our job is to engage with our people. But the truth is that sometimes it can be overwhelming in the beginning. Everyone wants to talk to the new pastor, everyone wants to know your plans for the ministry, everyone has their own ideas and agendas.

It can be taxing and draining, and there will be moments you may find yourself mentally disconnecting from conversations. Don’t allow that to happen. Engage with people and hear what they have to say. Be willing to value people and their thoughts. By doing this, it will allow for you to become more attune with what people are seeking from you, your ministry, and the church. This can allow for you to become a better minister to them.

Go out into the community.

I think this is one that we all know and value, but if we are honest when we move to a new place sometimes we focus on settling in. That doesn’t mean we don’t care about our new community and the people in it, but sometimes we just hunker down as we settle into our role. But let me encourage you to engage with the community as much as you can. Go to the local supermarket, check out the local middle school or high school football game, visit local restaurants, hit up local parks. By doing this you are not only gaining the lay of the land, you are also showing that you are a part of the community and value it. You may even have church members stop and greet you which will help you build relationships.

Network.

This is a huge asset to anyone in any position, but if I am being honest it doesn’t happen enough in ministry. Youth workers are beginning to change that, and I want to encourage you to be a part of a local network as best you can. As you start in a new position, reach out to other youth pastors in the area and seek to grab coffee or lunch with them. Talk to them about what has worked for them, ask questions about the community and the area, be willing to partner with them for the sake of the Gospel. In doing all of this you are building friendships, confidantes, and support networks to help you succeed in your ministry.

Share your purpose and vision.

This is huge for any new youth pastor. In a new ministry it is easy to assume that everyone knows what you are about and the direction you want to take the ministry. But the reality is that there will be those who don’t, and those who need to continue to hear it over and over. While you have had the time to think through and plan because of the hiring process, other people need time to hear, process, and jump on board. So make sure to drip this into all of your communications and to share it with families, students, leaders, and church staff.

Over communicate.

Communication is key. That is something everyone should remember, and in a new position it is important to make sure you communicate often and clearly. Make sure to engage with your leaders, students, and families and use that time to communicate what you want them to hear. Do not assume that if you say it once or twice everyone will remember what you said. Over communicate not because people don’t get it, but because it helps them to be on the same page with you.

Empower your volunteers.

Your volunteers are key to your ministry growing and being sustained. Without them your ministry will not function. So make sure to encourage and empower them. Let leaders utilize their gifts and strengths. Encourage them when you see them doing what God has gifted them to do. Be free with your role and allow leaders to step up and serve. One of the things I love to do is be open with the stage. I don’t have to speak each week, in fact my students listen more when their leaders share. This is huge because it allows for multiple voices to be heard and valued, and it affirms and builds up leaders who are using their gifts. Find out your leaders’ strengths and passions and put them into practical use.

Set boundaries.

This is hugely important for all pastors and youth workers. Often we jump into a new position and we go as hard and as fast as we can. We go to all the events, attend all the meetings, work long hours, throw awesome outreaches, and begin to burn through all the reserves that we have.

This type of approach may work in the beginning, but ultimately it will leave you exhausted and burned out. It will also frustrate your volunteers and hurt your relationship with your family. You need to make sure that you are taking care of yourself and putting your priorities in order. Often we think the ministry comes first, but the reality is the order should be our relationship with God, our relationship with our family, and then our relationship with the ministry. Setting and enforcing boundaries allows us to focus on priorities, take care of ourselves, and be present for others. 

If you are starting at a new church, what questions do you have? If you are helping a church look for a new candidate, what do you look for?