Tag: how to

Tips for Generating New Ideas

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There are times in ministry when we can become stuck in a rut. Whether it’s the way we’ve always done things, or we just become complacent, it can be hard to make a change. Or we may want to change things up, but we struggle with where to start.

Today Nick and I will share some tips with you on coming up with new ideas, particularly for your student ministry. Brainstorming is a critical step in coming up with new concepts, which you can then evaluate for their viability and application to your specific ministry context.

Idea dump in an environment that encourages your creativity.

Set aside a block of time, go to a location that stimulates your creativity, and list every idea you can come up with. Don’t leave anything out, even the ideas that may seem “dumb” or impossible. Sometimes those ideas will lead to something even better. Don’t worry about evaluating your ideas, just get everything written down.

Consider your culture.

It is important to brainstorm within in the context of your ministry, community, and demographic. In doing this, you will be able to identify areas for success, eliminate concepts that are counter-productive, and find key ways to engage your ministry and the people you serve.

Don’t just replicate what everyone else is doing.

As you’re working on brainstorming, you may be tempted to look at what other ministries are doing and replicate their concepts. While some ideas may translate to your context, merely replicating someone else’s ministry formula will ultimately disregard  your unique gifting and ability to assess and direct your specific ministry. It doesn’t hurt to look at another ministry’s formula for ideas, but it is essential to evaluate them within your unique context.

Categorize your ideas.

After you’ve listed your ideas, categorize them based on your context. Compare your ideas to your missional philosophy and see where they might fit within your ministry. Use this step to consider where you would apply each of your ideas, and whether or not they would work for your specific context. Don’t be afraid to reconsider or eliminate ideas that won’t be applicable to your ministry.

Listen to your leaders and students.

It is beneficial to ask for ideas from others who have a vested interest and are actively engaged with your ministry. Bringing them into the process not only validates and encourages them, but helps to give them ownership of the ministry. We would suggest meeting with leaders and students for separate brainstorming sessions.

After you’ve collected each group’s ideas, compare them to one another as well as to your ideas, assessing which are viable and could be implemented within your context. It is also beneficial to keep both groups informed on what you are doing moving forward. This will help to further their buy-in and validate their involvement within the ministry.

List your resources and needs.

We can often be blinded by lack of resources which keeps us from seeing what we actually have. It is important to inventory your resources (i.e., your budget, supplies, personnel, venue, etc.). Be willing to think outside the box when it comes to your resources and look for additional options you may not have considered.

It is helpful to identify your needs so that you can ask for assistance in those specific areas and look to allocate portions of your budget when appropriate. Identify the skill sets present within your congregation and don’t be afraid to ask for people’s assistance.

Don’t be afraid to try.

Some ideas might seem great on paper, but after implementation, they may not work the way you hoped. And that is okay. If you don’t take a viable idea for a test run, you will never know if it will truly work within your context. Don’t be afraid of failure. You can always reevaluate, tweak, or scrap an idea and try something new.

7 Tips for Running Games Well

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Game time during youth group…you either love it or you hate it. Gone are the days where churches could play dodgeball and Chubby Bunny, or duck-tape kids to a wall, and now we have to be intentional in what we do and why we do it.

Games are an integral, but not the most important, part of what we do. We have all seen or experienced games that run well, but for some of us…well, games are hard to run, plan, and get people involved with. So what do we do?

1. Make sure games/game time fit your focus of ministry.

I think so often we can let our time of fun and activity cut into our message or small group time. I have been guilty of this myself. You get super invested in a 9 Square game, and all of sudden you are 20 minutes past your message time, so you call everyone over, go through your message and now small groups have only 10 minutes. That isn’t going to work, it will lead to frustration with your leaders and lack of comprehension in your students’ spiritual formation.

Instead, shape your game time around the priorities of your ministry. If you value the message and small groups they should have the bulk of your time, and games now become something that you put into your extra time. Don’t let the fun dictate the heart. Let the heart dictate the fun.

2. Invest in reusable materials.

One of the best things we can have in our repertoires is something that our students love to use, but that is also reusable. For some ministries this may be a ping pong table, foosball, or carpetball. For others it may be a basketball hoop. Or for others it may be 9 Square (email them to ask for the church discount) or Gagaball. Depending on your ministry and its space, what you have may look different than others, but that is okay.

Our ministry space is shared with other groups, so we don’t get to keep items set up throughout the week. What we done is invest in items that are easily stored, and can be set up in a shorter amount of time. We have cornhole sets, 9 Square, ping pong, foosball, and various board games, puzzles, and arts and crafts items. All of these serve a function of building community and can be run quickly and with little set up, and provide countless weeks of fun programming.

3. Put your (or someone else’s) heart into it. 

Our students know if we love or hate something. For those of us who may not love running games, our students know that and their desire to be involved will reflect our heart. If we love it, our students will love it. The energy and passion you bring will help encourage students to participate. It doesn’t need to be obnoxious, pushy, or over the top, but authentic and passionate energy will help students want to be involved.

Sometimes though, games just aren’t your thing, and that is okay. Find someone who does have that passion, help to equip and empower them, and then unleash them and let them run with it. Now you are not only helping to empower and develop leaders, you are letting them use their gifts and have buy-in. And students will have someone running games who is all-in for them.

4. Become an emcee. 

Now I don’t mean become someone who hosts an award ceremony or game show, but be someone who can not only articulate rules but also engage with the crowd. Make sure to be clear and concise as you explain what is happening. But also remember that you know your people, so have fun with them.

Games are so much more than rules, they are an opportunity to invest in people’s lives. Use them that way. Be able to laugh about the rules and game play. When that one kid who always tries to bend the rules asks a question, have fun with them instead of shutting them down. Walk around and encourage students as they play. Jump in yourself. Enjoy the time and engage with your students as they engage with your game.

5. Utilize your space.

So often we look at our space in the way that it limits us. But what if we took a step back and said, “Here is our space, how can I best utilize it?” With this mentality we enter with a whole new frame of reference and understanding that the space we have is a resource, and it allows for us to get creative. Don’t see it as limiting, see it as an opportunity to be or do something different. Yes, this may mean longer set up or tear down times, but imagine if we let the space shape our approach instead of limit it.

One of my favorite things to do is utilize games that already exist but perhaps my students haven’t seen or played before. Here are three quick ways to get awesome games for your services:

  1. Ask your leaders, students, and other youth workers. You never know what you are going to get and chances are you will get games that are youth ministry gold!
  2. Use Download Youth Ministry. Their ready-to-go games are a must-have for any ministry. Shape it to fit your group, and run with it. Note: this is a pay to use product.
  3. Use The Source for Youth Ministry’s game page. This is something that has been a huge asset to me in student ministry. Hundreds of ready-to-go games, plus a game search option that is completely customizable. Check it out, you won’t regret it.

6. Don’t force the issue.

Some students hate games and physical activity. That is completely fine. Don’t force your students to play. Doing so may actually drive them away from your ministry. Instead, look to understand why they don’t want to participate, find out what interests them, and look to curate a game time (and overall program) that intentionally invests in the lives of every student who comes.

We know that all of our students won’t participate in a game. So instead we have a cafe area (or just a chill space) where they can talk, play board or card games, eat snacks, do homework, or just talk with one another. At first we may take it personally if we orchestrated an amazing game that they don’t want to play, but step back and watch the relational equity develop and students become more invested. Honestly, I have pulled the reigns on formalized games and instead allow for more organic development of activities during that time.

7. Have fun.

This may seem like a no-brainer, but if we don’t enjoy what we are doing, our students will see that. Have fun with your games, yourself, and your crew. Laugh, play along, be willing to chuckle when your rules don’t work, and be willing to call audibles if needed. Your love and passion for whatever you do will be contagious, so bring it to your games no matter how big or small they are and see what God can do through those moments.

Bringing Social Justice + Student Ministry Together

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Social justice is something we’ve seen students become more interested in and passionate about over the years. With more awareness comes a desire to lend a hand, speak up, and participate in various ways. Students are finding new and creative opportunities to make sure their voice is heard.

If social justice is something your students are interested in, I encourage you to step into it with them. As youth leaders we can join in social justice campaigns with our students, foster community and conversation around these issues, and model what it means to be a follower of Jesus Christ who has a heart for justice.

If you’re wondering how to practically engage social justice initiatives within your ministry context, I have some suggestions to get you started. You may find different approaches, campaigns, or issues are more relevant to your group. So I would encourage you to start simply.

Talk to your students about their passions.

You may find a wide range of interests within your group, but you also may be able to identify a common theme. Or you may be able to uncover a few key areas where your leaders and students can get involved together.

Rather than trying to generate interest in a random cause, I think it’s important to begin by identifying what social justice issues currently fire up your students and leaders. You may find a few key individuals who can help lead the rest of the group. From there, you can plan how to move forward in specific ways that are relevant to your group.

Host a social justice night.

Take a regular “youth group” night to discuss, share, and take steps forward as a whole youth group. This is a great way to raise awareness and leverage the passions and involvement already existent within your group. If some of your students and/or leaders are already passionate about particular issues, you can work with them to help lead your social justice night. 

You may also want to consider bringing in someone professionally involved in a social justice issue to speak. You can share a short video, host a panel discussion, or invite students to select and attend a breakout session on a specific topic. Again, not everyone may be passionate about social justice, so consider education your primary focus. Some students may be moved to action, which is why its important to have an involvement plan you can share.

Help students get involved.

You may have a social justice issue knocking at your back door. Or you may have no idea how to get students practically involved. If you can identify a local need that your group can meet, that is an excellent place to start. Tap local experts to help you look into opportunities that are possible for your students. If you’re struggling to find something local, look for ways to partner with a national or global organization.

A great and simple place to start is by advocating through an organization called Dressember. Participants commit to wearing a dress or tie throughout the month of December to raise money and awareness for organizations that fight human trafficking, modern day slavery, and other social justice issues domestically and abroad. You and your students can form a team and those who participate can create their own fundraising page–and monetary goal–through Dressember’s website. (If you have questions about Dressember, feel free to ask; I would love to share more with you!)

Leverage social media and story telling.

However you and your students decide to practically participate, don’t forget to share what you are doing on social media. This is a great platform to not only show people what you are doing, but more importantly, tell them why. This is one of the ways your students can learn how to incorporate the Gospel into their social justice involvement. By explaining the heart behind the work, they can begin sharing the love of Jesus not only within their involvement, but also their extended community.

You can also encourage students to tell their story–many times a desire for involvement comes from a personal connection. That personal connection can often be a bridge to draw others in. Students don’t have to put all the personal details out there, but if they feel comfortable, they can share why social justice matters to them, and what things have come about as a result of their involvement.

If your students have stories to tell, don’t hesitate to share these with the church body at large. Your students can lead others in this area through their passion, care, and commitment. I encourage you to not only let your students lead by example, but to allow and encourage others to follow. Maybe your students can help lead a social justice night or initiative for the entire church, showing how the Gospel can move us all to action.

Caring for Volunteers

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Being on paid staff at a church is an amazing job. You are paid to study the Bible, walk with people, see growth happen, participate in wonderful moments, and you get to fulfill your calling. But often times we forget that the reason we get to do what we do is due, in large part, to our volunteers.

They are the people who show up after a long day of work. They are the ones who take vacation time or unpaid time to go on youth trips. They are the ones fielding late night calls and interrupting family time to care for “their students.” They are the ones who grieve and hurt even though it isn’t their job to do so. They are the ones who take time away from their loved ones to pour into the lives of students who others would write off.

I think our propensity as paid youth workers is to assume that our volunteers can give the way we do. We believe they can sacrifice time and money the way that we do. We forget that this isn’t what they are paid to do.

But we cannot forget our volunteers. They are the glue that keeps our ministry together.  They are the self-sacrificing, servant-hearted, all-in people who make student ministry a reality. So how can we care for them well?

Get to know your people. 

One of the things I have found to be beneficial in caring for leaders is getting to know what they like and don’t like, what encourages them, what discourages them, where they like to go out to eat, what they do for a date night, how you can be praying for them, and what snacks they enjoy. I get all this information at our fall leader training when I ask my volunteers to fill out a quick two-minute survey. In that survey I get to know a lot about them in a simple format, and I find new ways to bless them.

Bless leaders throughout the year.

This can look different depending on the size of your ministry, your budget, and your space. But we shouldn’t let those things keep us from acting or put us in a box. Instead we should leverage what we have to bless our leaders. We use our Leader Christmas Party as our big gift time of year and a bunch of our parents cater the event for our leaders. They cook dinner, serve the meal, prepare desserts, and pray over them. I also love to meet up with leaders throughout the year and see how they are doing. I take them out for lunch or breakfast and do my best to pay for the meal and say thank you. I also pay attention to big days (Facebook helps with this a lot) and reach out to celebrate and honor them.

Get parents involved.

I shared this briefly in the above tip, but the more you can rally parents to support and bless your leaders, the more dedicated your leaders will be. At Christmastime and the end of the academic year, we send out a letter to parents asking them and their students to consider blessing our leaders. Consistently our parents go above and beyond and our leaders are blessed with cards and notes, gift cards, snacks, candy, and so much more. Our leaders and families love this and it is an awesome opportunity to see Body of Christ care for one another. We also ask our parents to jump in and serve at big events to allow  our leaders to be with their students. This helps parents see what is happening and has driven them to have more buy-in and care for our leaders.

Make a big deal out of trips.

When our leaders come on ministry trips we do leader gift bags. Based upon the trip length, style of trip, and funds on hand we offer a variety of gifts and blessings in the bags. For overnight trips we do paper gift bags and for trips of a week or longer we have done backpacks or drawstring bags. We fill these with some of the essentials like lip balm, sleep masks, ear plugs, hand sanitizer, gum, candy, salty snacks, protein bars, swag from our youth group, ibuprofen, pens, or a small notebook. Depending on the length of the trip and expectations for our leaders, we have gotten some nicer gifts as well like Yetis with our logo, full-size notebooks, or mugs.

Use your space.

We all have different spaces for programming and offices (if you’re blessed to have one). A great way to bless leaders is have a spot exclusively for them. I am not in my office much during youth nights so I have turned it into a relaxing area for my leaders. I have a seating area with a tea and coffee bar, along with bottled water and a few snacks. I get good coffee, a variety of teas, nice creamers, all types of sweeteners, and my leaders love it. They arrive after long days and to have something to get a little boost is a big deal. I also keep my office as a leaders-only space so they can have a place to collect themselves and breathe if they need to.

Utilize your leaders’ gifts.

One way to really value your leaders is to see their talents and allow them to utilize their gifts. If you have a leader who is a gifted communicator, get them in front of your group. Have a leader who loves to lead at their workplace? Ask them to help develop your leaders. Is there a leader who is can get anyone to do anything? There is your next game leader. If a leader is passionate about worship, allow them to develop your students into a worship team. Encouraging your leaders to utilize their gifts and strengths not only allows them to continue to grow, but it generates buy-in, creates a team mentality, and shows your leaders you see them as more than bodies.

Recognize and honor your leaders. 

The corporate world does this well. When someone succeeds they get a raise, a bonus, employee of the month, or recognized in a staff newsletter. We should be doing this as well. If a leader does something well, recognize it. It doesn’t need to always be in front of the church or youth group, but maybe at a leader meeting. Consider implementing a “volunteer of the month” where you send them a handwritten note and a small gift card to their favorite restaurant. Or when you get that chance to preach, highlight your volunteer core. Let them know how awesome they are!

Be present in all moments. 

As the shepherd of your ministry you must be present for your team in all moments. That means thinking past your program nights, and being present elsewhere. Take your leaders out. Celebrate their successes. Get to know their passions and their families. Also be there during the really hard moments. This is the part where your leaders see you actually care. I have sat in hospital rooms with leaders, I have held leaders after a loved one passed away, I have walked with leaders who have lost a student, and I have wept with leaders as they wept over their students walking away from what they believed. These moments weren’t the easiest or ones I was prepped for in “ministry school” but these are the moments we are called to as shepherds and ministers. To weep with those who weep and comfort those who mourn. Walk with your leaders in all moments; good, bad, and everything in between.

Commission well.

Part of what we should be doing as ministry leaders is generating high quality leaders who prayerfully will begin stepping up, which may lead to them pursuing ministry elsewhere as God calls them. This isn’t something to fear or be anxious about but something we should be excited for. That means our leaders are growing, being equipped, and following God’s leading. When this happens encourage your leaders, pray with them, and help them achieve the calling God has placed on their lives. But also celebrate and encourage your leaders both publicly and in private. Let them know you are here for them, honor them in front of the youth group, help them to grieve well as they leave, and celebrate them in front of the church.

 

Growing in Prayer: Meaningful Ways to Expand Your Prayer Life

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What a privilege believers in Jesus have! We can come boldly to the very throne of God to make our requests! In Jesus, and through faith in Him, we can approach God with freedom and confidence. (See Hebrews 4:16 and Ephesians 3:12.)

God tells us in the Bible that He sends His Holy Spirit into the hearts of believers to help us pray. When we don’t know what to pray for, the Holy Spirit helps us and intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words (Romans 8:26). He also moves us to address God the Father as “Abba” (Galatians 4:6). “Abba” is an Aramaic term for “Father” that is similar to our “Daddy” or “Papa.”  For the Holy Spirit to urge us to call God “Abba” means that through Jesus we have a personal, close, and affectionate relationship with the Creator and Ruler of the whole universe! Amazing!!

Have you spoken in this way to God yet? If not, give it a try! During your personal prayer time, address God as “Abba” or “Dad” or “Papa.” Of course, by using such a familiar term, we do not want to lose any respect for God; we do not want in any way to disrespect God. Rather, as one brother in Christ put it, we want to relate to God with familiar respect. Or, we might say, we want to relate to God with respectful familiarity. This is a high privilege our Lord Jesus Christ has provided for us through His life, death, and resurrection.

In fact, I encourage you to actually say “Abba” out loud. Now an important first step in that direction is saying your private, personal prayers to God out loud. If you have never done that, give it a try! When God led me to begin praying out loud during my private prayer time, my prayers were transformed. All of a sudden they became more concrete. I didn’t just direct vague thoughts to God; I was putting those thoughts into specific words.

Praying out loud also made the personal nature of my relationship with God seem more real to me. Please understand: ever since the night God saved me in 1976, my relationship with Him was real. However, my sense of that reality heightened through praying out loud. When I pray out loud, it is like talking to another person in the room … because I am talking to another person in the room! God is a real Person and He is present. He is not far away somewhere “out there.” Through Christ I am in God (see Colossians 3:3) and God is in me (see 1 Corinthians 3:16, 6:19). God is closer to me than any other person could ever be! Can I say again, “Amazing!!”?

And once you have taken that step of praying out loud by yourself, then take the step I mentioned earlier and address God, out loud, as “Abba” or “Daddy” or “Papa” … with the respect He is due. I am doing this in my prayer times. As I pray to Abba, one thing I am asking Him is that He would help me to better grasp His love for me. I am asking Him to help me experience His love in a deeper way, in a way that powerfully impacts me. Would you like to join me in making that request of God?

We learn from the Bible that asking God to help us grasp His love is a good and right thing to pray for. How so? Because we have record of the Apostle Paul praying for this very thing for the Ephesian believers. He asked “that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God” (Ephesians 3:16-19).

Notice that not only does Paul pray for them to comprehend God’s love, he also prays for the strength and power to be able to grasp the love of Christ. We cannot know and experience God’s love on our own, through our own effort. We need divine enablement. We need God’s Holy Spirit to enable us to grasp God’s love for us. Why? Because, as verse 19 says, the love of Christ “surpasses knowledge.” His love is so wondrous, so amazing that without God’s help there is no way we in our weak humanity can know it.

And if God grants us our request to experience His love more, we will be changed. We will be transformed. We will “be filled to all the fullness of God.” May God do that for us.

So join me in calling God “Abba.” Join me in praying out loud to our Father God. And join me in praying to experience His love in a deeper way.

Tom Loyola is a senior pastor at an Evangelical Free Church in Iowa. He and his wife Sue Ann have partnered together in pastoral ministry since 1984 and are the parents of two children. Tom received his Master of Theology and Doctor of Ministry degrees from Dallas Theological Seminary and enjoys reading, running, oil painting, and a good movie.

Crafting Messages with Meaning

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“Oh, you teach students? So what do you talk about? Video games, sports, relationships, respect? Or is it more like just babysitting them for a few moments when you can make them sit still?”

We have all heard, or will hear, these or other comments surrounding the messages we give to students. These comments aren’t all out of ignorance or immaturity, but some can be rooted in missteps of those who went before us. We as youth leaders have an uphill climb when it comes to showcasing the legitimacy of student ministry, and we should own it when it comes to our teaching and leading.

Teaching students has to be one of our priorities (I will speak to other priorities in later posts), and one that cannot be treated as a second tier thought. I have witnessed many youth leaders casually offer up a five to ten minute message with little prep, less effort, and almost no comprehension of their audience. But to do that to our students, especially within this generation that is hyper-aware of our world, is a disservice and will ultimately leave students frustrated, disappointed, and wanting more. We must teach our students well, be informed on important topics, and help to train them as mature Christ-followers.

So how do we do that? Here are some tips I have learned throughout my time in ministry and I hope they afford you some insight on how to offer messages that help to push students to grow, take action, and reach their world.

Spend time preparing. 

We would think this is a no-brainer, but let’s be honest shall we? We have all had a week where we “haven’t had the time” and have thrown together a message or simply defaulted to a “game night” for our youth group gathering. I am not saying we cannot have those days or moments, that’s life, but that cannot be common place. We must spend time studying, researching, applying, and helping God’s Word relate to our students. The bulk of my time (outside of meetings of course) is spent studying and preparing for my messages. I want to have a thorough grasp of God’s Word and treat it with the respect it deserves. Putting the time in allows me to shape the message to my students and help them understand it.

Know your audience.

One of my biggest pet peeves of speakers is when they try to relate to the audience but it is clear they have no idea who the audience is or what they value. In order for you to produce messages that matter, you must know your students. Then as you are crafting your message and listening to the Holy Spirit, God will direct you in ways to speak specifically to them. So hang out with your students, learn what they enjoy, know their values, understand their dislikes, find out their favorite places to hang out, and uncover what is happening in their lives.

Use personal stories.

Don’t settle for someone else’s story or narrative. Use personal examples, tell stories from your childhood, be authentic about when you messed up. The more students can tell you are a real person, the more inclined they will be to hear you and listen to what you are saying.

Be a student of culture.

In order to craft messages that relate to students, you must understand who they are, what they value, what is important in their lives, and what is happening that shapes who they are. This means you should have a grasp of the music they listen to; the way social media is utilized in their lives; the topics and issues they are passionate about; and their view of life, church, and culture. In doing so, you will be better suited to speak to them and to how their lives are being informed and shaped.

Use humor.

Growing up I was not naturally funny. I mean I was a goofball but humor wasn’t something that I used in my talks or speeches. When I first started in ministry, I knew I had no humor so I would literally open every message with a joke from a 90s joke book that had nothing to do with my message, its points, or anything to do with that day. I just knew humor was a good thing, but I had no idea how to incorporate it. Let me say this: you do not have to be a comedian to relate to students, but being able to have fun and laugh will make you a better communicator. Use stories from your past, poke fun at yourself, laugh about a story you were reading in the news, find humor in Scripture. Humor will not only help you break down walls but it will also make your students see you in a transparent way. You have become authentic and real.

A quick side note: never, ever poke fun at a student from the stage. Doing so will alienate your audience, cause you to lose rapport, and your students will cease to trust you. Even if you have their permission, don’t do it because the rest of the audience may not know that the student gave permission.

Be passionate.

I cannot tell you how many times I have heard students say, “The speaker was good, but they just weren’t into it.” As communicators of God’s Word, we need to get excited about it. Show students the power of the Gospel. Let them see how you are working it out. Cast vision and excitement for what the Gospel can and will do. Students and adults alike should see our passion for the kingdom of heaven, and it should affect our teaching.

Pray.

I cannot tell you how many times I have gotten ready to teach and I felt so ill-equipped and unprepared. It was terrifying. Each of those times I would pray earnestly seeking God’s direction and asking Him to speak through me, and He did. We serve a great and powerful God who doesn’t need us to communicate His Word, but chooses to use us as a tool to advance His Kingdom. Cover your message in prepare before, during, and after you speak. And understand that you will still be scared, but as a professor of mine once said, “If you ever take the pulpit without some sense of fear because you are communicating the holy Word of God, you need to not be behind that pulpit.”

Know who you are, who God has empowered you to be, speak boldly and passionately, and showcase the Word of God to your students and you will see students grab on and never let go.

Helping Students Deal with Tragedy

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Tragedy can be defined as an event that causes great sadness, hurt, destruction, and distress, but the reality we must understand is that tragedy looks different in each of our lives. What might be a tragedy or crisis for one person will look different for another.

However, what we do know about tragedy is that our students are facing it more and more each day, and are emotionally connected to tragedy even if it does not directly affect them. Students today feel more empathetic and sympathetic to what is happening both within their own sphere and from a global perspective. Students understand more, they feel deeper, and they live in a heightened state of fear due to all the horrific events happening in our world.

Because of the emotions and connections, tragedies can be felt even when they aren’t experienced. Students can feel the effects of a school shooting in California or the tsunami that hit in Japan or a suicide in their school in very similar ways. What this means then is that we as their youth leaders, parents, pastors, and adults in their lives must be having very frank conversations about tragedy before, during, and after it happens.

I know this may sound overwhelming because there are moments when we will ask, “How are we equipped to talk about these tragedies, when we don’t even fully understand how to process them ourselves?” I want to offer a few helpful conversation tips, and then to give you some resources to utilize as well.

So how do we engage our students in the conversations surrounding tragedy? Here are couple of tips to help with those conversations:

Begin the conversation sooner than later. It is always better to be proactive than reactive. We live in a very fallen and broken world where we will hear about tragedies constantly on the news, social media, at school, or in a number of other capacities. Talk to your students as they grow and help them to see that our world isn’t perfect, that bad things will happen, but that God is still sovereign and in control.

Point your students back to God and Scripture. Whenever tragedy occurs, typically our response goes to either blaming God or asking God why. Having a good grasp on who God is, His plan for our lives, His vision of this world and our lives with Him, will allow for you to better love, care for, and walk with your students during tragedy.

I do want to say that in the midst of tragedy, do not simply toss out Scripture to gloss over the difficult moments. That tends to be a knee-jerk reaction for many of us. Many of our students know those Scriptures and understand them, but they still are processing and grieving. We need to give them that space, to empathize and sympathize with them, to listen, to love them, and to walk with them as you both look for answers and understanding.

Be available. Students want to be known and heard. Be willing to engage with them, and to go past the surface questions. Don’t settle for “fine” or “okay” as a response. Ask questions that generate meaning and depth of conversation. Instead of “how was your day” or “what is bothering you” ask something like, “what was hard for you today” or “what emotion was strongest for you today?” These types of open ended questions not only allow you to be available physically but show that you are emotionally and mentally present as well. Having someone they can talk to, just be with, and process with is a big part of caring for your students, so make sure to be available.

Look to grow in your own knowledge and understanding. Educate, educate, educate. In order to understand how to care best for your students, seek out resources and equipping to help you better care for them. Utilize some of the resources below, talk to your mentors or other youth pastors, read books, listen to podcasts. The more you know, the better equipped you are to care for your students.

Never minimize how your students are feeling or say that what they experienced isn’t a tragedy. We all feel and process differently, so don’t minimize the situation. This is a form of escapism because we feel ill prepared. Instead validate their feelings, help them to process, walk with them, and being willing to just listen and love them. The greatest gift you can give to someone who has experienced a tragedy is love and time. Be with them. Be wholly present and love them well. A great way to think about this is to ask yourself, “What would I want someone to do for me in a time like this?” Use that as the framework for how you engage with your students.

Build your resources. This is more than just your own knowledge and library. I would encourage you to network, know who the counselors are in your area, talk to the church about their resources, and consider what you can contribute as well. As you build your resources, you become better equipped to handle trauma and tragedy, and you will know when to refer out and seek additional help that may be needed.

Tragedy is a difficult conversation, but one that we must lean into in order to better care for our students. Don’t believe the lies that you are ill-equipped to speak into their lives. Your voice, presence, and love means more than you could ever know, and simply being willing to engage will help them grow and mature in their relationship with you, their peers, and Jesus.

Below are some articles and websites that provide a lot of insight and additional resources to help in your conversations going forward.  Thank you for walking these roads with your students.

6 Tips for Avoiding Burnout

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Ministry has a tendency to make you feel like you are always “on.” Have you ever felt that way before? Maybe it was the call or text on your day off, the late night email you felt you needed to respond to because it was from a parent or elder, or when you got stopped in a supermarket because you “work” at a church.

The reality we are faced with is that without healthy boundaries, we will run into burn out. If you do not have appropriate boundaries in place you can guarantee that eventually you will become frustrated, bitter, and ready to walk away. Feelings of being overwhelmed, always on call, and like there is no one who is safe for you is a hard place to be, so I want to offer some ways to set healthy boundaries to safeguard you, your family, and your ministry.

1. Set clear expectations. This goes for both your supervisor and your ministry context. Whenever you step into a new ministry position ask for clear parameters like these:

  • How many hours am I required to work?
  • How many hours do you want me in the office?
  • Do you offer comp time for retreats and trips?
  • How do you handle holidays?
  • How are after-hours calls handled?

These are just a few questions that will allow you to better take care of yourself and know what is expected of you. But I would say that you shouldn’t just ask questions but also set the tone for how you handle your time off. I have shared this with my supervisor and those on my team so they know. Here are some of the expectations that I shared when I started and continue to advocate for:

  • Friday nights are date nights. That means I don’t work on Friday evenings unless my wife and I talk about it. We will go to football games in the fall and meet with people when necessary, but I’m those instances we always have date night on a different evening. My staff and volunteers, students, and my direct report know this and they all honor it because we continue to talk about it.
  • I always advocate for using your paid time off. It is part of your salary, so make sure you use it. Let your supervisor know well in advance, but use your time off and advocate for it.
  • I would also say it is important to advocate for time to go off site to study and refresh. This isn’t time to necessarily do “work” but instead to make sure you are getting filled and refreshed.

2. Seek friends who don’t require you to wear your “pastor’s hat.” One of my favorite things about where I work right now is I have begun to build some really good friendships. One in particular stands out because it is someone close to my age who has served in ministry before. We were grabbing breakfast one day and he looked at me and said, “Nick, you don’t need to wear your pastor’s hat around me. I am a safe person, and we can just be good friends. If you need to put it on, that’s okay but you don’t have to.”

Man, what an amazing moment! I was blown away because all the weight and expectations were gone. But here’s the thing: I would never have thought to ask someone to let me do that before that conversation. Looking back now I would encourage everyone to find a friend like this. Find someone you don’t have to worry about having all the right answers with, to be able to be yourself around, and someone who will be able to offer sound and practical advice.

Also, as a quick aside, let me say don’t make this your spouse. You should already be sharing life with your spouse, but I am advocating for another person, a friend, someone with whom you can build a solid relationship. This isn’t supplementing or replacing your spouse, but instead giving you another outlet and friendship to help you in life.

3. Keep your days off as days off. God doesn’t require everyone else to take a sabbath and ministry leaders and volunteers to not have a time of refreshment with Him. A sabbath is a command to all of us. And I don’t know about you, but I am pretty sure when God gives us a command we need to follow it… yes, even ministry leaders. So honor your days off. Try to stay off the phone and computer as it relates to work. Focus on your family, friends, yourself, and your relationship with God. Protect this fiercely and if they are getting overrun, speak up about it and ask your supervisor for advice and help.

4. Decompress. Find out how you best release and refresh. This has changed for me over the years. At some points when I was single it was going out with friends, or ordering a pizza and watching the newest war movie. As weird as it sounds now, my ways to decompress are cooking, reading an adventure novel, cleaning, or making candles. It helps me to focus, clear my thoughts, and accomplish something.

This will look different for each of us, but you should identify what it is in your life and then utilize it. Also, if you are married make sure to bring your spouse into this conversation. They need to know that you aren’t just retreating or disengaging but that this is how you find refreshment and restoration. Work together as a team to honor this.

5. Communicate. Let your supervisor and those close to you know where you are at. If you are struggling with various aspects of your job, if you are feeling overwhelmed, if you are feeling defeated, talk to someone. It is okay to share where you are at, and honestly it needs to be a consistent aspect of your life. Talk to people, tell them how you are doing, explain what is hard, share what has been really good. The more this becomes a part of our culture and lives, the more free and cared-for you will feel.

Now I know there are some in ministry who cannot go to their supervisor for fear of reprisal or being fired. I get it, I have been in those circumstances myself. If you cannot go to your supervisor, go to a mentor or close friend; even better if they are close because perhaps you can bring them with you to a meeting with your supervisor to share what has been going on.

When I first started out as a pastor, my mentor came along to my interviews and asked the hard questions and set the expectations the church should have for me. I will never forget how it felt to be advocated for and supported. That is what you need in your close friends and confidantes. Bring them in, share what is happening, bare your soul, and let them love and care for you.

6. Get a mentor. I have already mentioned a mentor here and previously, but this cannot be undervalued or ignored. We all need people who are pouring into us and pushing us to be better leaders and Christ followers. If you do not have a mentor, seek one out. If you have one make sure you are honestly connecting with and sharing your life with them. Seek advice, encouragement, direction, and the hard but necessary answers from them.

Back to School: Tips for Ministry Leaders

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For many of us, our students have either already returned to school or will be in the coming days. With school returning there are many changes happening in the lives of students and families, and this presents many new challenges for youth leaders but also some amazing opportunities.

It can be easy for us to bemoan the difficulty of trying to compete with students’ schedules and all the things they are committed to, but I would recommend a different approach. See this season as an opportunity. An opportunity to do ministry in a different way, an opportunity to see your reach extend past the traditional Sunday or Wednesday, and an opportunity to reach more than just students.

When it comes to a new school year, there are some action steps I would suggest that every student ministry leader take as the fall begins.

Pray. This is a simple one, but often the most simple things fall by the wayside. But take time to pray for and with your students. One of my favorite things to do is pray over students at church or youth group. But the biggest rewards have been when I have texted students during the day and said, “Hey, just wanted you to know I am praying for you. What can I pray for?” Wait and see what the results are.

Host a venue for families. The church I serve at now hosts a “passage ceremony” to create a space for families to speak into the lives of their students. We host it for incoming 6th and 9th grade students and their families each year for a couple hours after church. We provide a full lunch, and allow for space for parents to pray with and for their students, and to speak truth and encouragement into their lives. As leaders, we also recognize this change and encourage the students and families. The results from this (and our subsequent venue for graduating seniors) have been awesome! Students and parents alike talk about how this has helped them mentally and spiritually prepare for the school year and the new journey that is ahead of them.

Be willing to go to where your students are. One of my favorite things about working with students is going to their events and supporting them. I love going to fall football games with my wife and leaders, the Halloween parade is a blast with all of the bands participating, and watching my students act and sing in plays and musicals is awesome! But the money shot here isn’t just meeting my students and supporting them, but loving and ministering to their friends and families. Venues outside of church allow for you to meet and engage with countless other people who you may never have met before. I am not advocating for you to go to all the things, but instead to see ministry as larger than just the time at church.

Also, encourage your leaders to do this as well. This is key in the disciple-making process and allows for the reach of the ministry to be even larger. All of my leaders love supporting their students and actually get their small groups to go to one another’s events. We have even advocated for small groups to do this on youth group nights because it allows for more intentional connection and we have seen awesome Gospel conversations come about from those moments.

Engage with teachers and school leaders. I try to have open lines of communication with our school administrators and reach out throughout the year with an offer to buy them coffee or lunch. I let them know that we are for them and want to do whatever we can to support and care for them. We also have a group of churches that host a lunch for the teachers as they do back to school training and we get to love and encourage them as they serve. This will open up many conversations and opportunities to minister in ways you may not have anticipated.

Remember the parents. It is hard for parents to see their students go back to school and experience the changes happening at home. Make sure to invest in the families, and to offer support to them as this new season begins. We send out a monthly newsletter with articles and resources to help equip and strengthen families because this isn’t about doing life alone, but as a group of Christ followers. Stop parents in the halls, at events, or shoot them a text asking how they are doing and how you can pray for them and their families. Watch and listen for key things and phrases, and follow up! Let them know they were seen, heard, and valued.

Also make sure to let them know how their kids are doing. You don’t need to give them a 40-page debrief on the previous youth group night, but point out some things you have noticed about their students. This will not only encourage them but give them buy-in to the program as well. It will also challenge you to intentionally see and be involved in all the lives of your students so you can do that. Your relational rapport will grow and subsequently strengthen the program overall.

Preparing as a Volunteer Leader

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Fall is almost upon us and so is the start of another school year. Whether you’re a veteran leader, or this will be your first year serving in student ministry, it’s a great time to prepare for the upcoming year. It’s easy to simply roll into student ministry without giving it too much fore-thought, but I believe taking some time to prepare can be beneficial. Here are a few ways to help be better prepared for the start of this ministry year.

Get in the know

Our ministry hosts a leader training session before each school year starts. This helps us to get on the same page, go over any rules and requirements, talk about the plan for the year ahead, and bond as leaders. If your church doesn’t host leader training or if you’ll miss it, I recommend scheduling a meeting with your student pastor. Use the time to hear his/her vision for the year, learn important rules, find out who is in your small group, and grow in your understanding of the program and its leadership. The more you can learn about the students, the ministry, and the leadership, the more effective you will be as a member of the team.

Meet with key individuals

If you have one or more co-leaders, I recommend getting together before the school year starts. In addition to getting to know each other and how to work together well, you can take time to pray over and cast a vision for your group. This may sound like a lot of work, but if you have a direction and goal you are all working toward, it will help to build intentionality within your small group time. You can also think about how you want to lead discussion, how you can work together to challenge your small group, and how you want to divide any tasks or responsibilities. If you come in with a plan and vision, or if you simply show up with zero fore-thought, it will ultimately reveal itself in how you lead. As the old phrase goes, “failing to prepare is preparing to fail,” and students deserve the best we can offer.

In addition to meeting with leaders, you may want to meet up with your students as well, if possible. Any time spent with students is a great opportunity to bond–they get to know you and you get to know them. You will become an even more effective leader the more you know your group, the issues they are dealing with, and the things they are passionate about. You can also use this time to encourage and challenge students you have identified as leaders within the group. Help them get ready for the year ahead by identifying areas where they can serve and have an impact.

Invest in your spiritual growth

This is something we should be doing year-round, not just before the school year starts. As leaders we need to have spiritual inflow in order to produce an outflow. But now is a great time to re-focus and make sure you are getting adequate inflow. And to be totally honest, youth group should not count toward your inflow. You are there as a leader, to guide and help students to grow, not to find growth yourself. That is not to say that you won’t grow, or be challenged by the teaching, but your time with students should not be a primary source of your spiritual growth.

Personally, I find growth and inflow in a few key areas: personal devotional and quiet time, and corporate worship and Bible study. In addition to the Sunday morning worship service, I also participate in a women’s Bible study where I experience deep personal relationships and community. I also value quiet time alone when I can study the Word, pray, and listen to the Holy Spirit without distractions. I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to have steady, healthy spiritual inflow.