Tag: help

Leading Small Groups: Self-Guided Discussion

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There may be times as a small group leader that you don’t have pre-scripted questions, or your students aren’t vibing with the questions you have. While it may not always flow seamlessly, those are times when I like to move to what I call “self-guided discussions.” These are discussions facilitated by a small group leader, but essentially led by the needs, responses, and thoughts of the small group. Here is a basic look at how to lead your group using a self-guided discussion.

If you can, do a little pre-discussion prep.

The longer you spend with your particular small group, the more you will learn about them. You will be able to identify key areas that impact their lives individually and collectively. As you learn these things, you will be able to identify key topics or themes from weekly lessons that will be most relevant to them.

If you know the lesson topic prior to youth group, you can prep beforehand. Otherwise, you can take notes and write questions during the teaching time. Look for ways to connect the topic or key points of the lesson to the lives of your students. Come up with some questions that will lead students to make these connections on their own, rather than simply spoon-feeding them the answers.

Ask, “What stood out to you?”

If I can tell my students are engaged and thinking through to the topic, I want to hear what is standing out to them. Often I like to ask this question first to see what spoke to them, what they are thinking about, and what they might need to spend extra time talking through. Sometimes this will dictate the entire direction of our discussion time, especially if it is a topic I know will benefit the entire group.

When asking this question, you may get answers (or comments) that don’t exactly relate to the lesson topic. Sometimes your students might go entirely off topic. If it’s something worth talking about, I would encourage you not to completely shut down the discussion. Some of the best conversations I’ve had with my small group originated from what seemed like a tangent. It’s okay to deviate from the intended topic and let conversation grow organically as long as it’s beneficial and not an attempt to distract the group. This can be one of the best aspects of self-guided discussion.

Ask follow-up questions based on students’ answers.

After asking the students what stood out to them, use their answers to guide your questions. Pick a key word or topic from their answers to hone in on. Ask follow-up questions that will steer the conversation in a helpful direction. This is a great way to help students connect broad topics to real-life application. It also allows you to spend more time on things that are important to your students, rather than glossing over them to move on to the next question.

Apply questions and answers to specific life circumstances or issues.

As I mentioned before, it’s important for us to assist students in connecting the truths of Scripture to their lives. They need to be able to see the relevance of lesson topics for their lives. These connections may be easy for them to make, but other times they may struggle. This is where you as a leader can guide them into making these connections with the questions you ask. The more you know about your students, the more you will be able to connect topics to their specific life circumstances.

Within this, it is important not to disclose things you have been told in confidence by students. Use discretion in how you address topics, keeping student privacy in mind. If a student has shared an issue previously with the group at large, I recommend speaking to them privately before bringing it up again in the group. This can be as simple as pulling them aside and asking for their permission to bring up the topic, or asking them if they would be willing to share about it.

Encourage your students to ask questions.

Self-guided discussion truly becomes self-guided when your students start asking questions. This may start with them asking you things, but eventually they will hopefully begin to ask each other follow-up questions. Even if you don’t know the answer to a student’s question, encourage them by affirming their question, and if needed, doing some research so you can follow-up with an answer. Be honest and open with your students. You don’t have to share everything, but you will be able to connect with them on a deeper level if you let them into your life. This will help to build rapport between you and your students.

Setting Healthy Boundaries: Home and Church Life

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When you work for a church or ministry you may have office hours, but you are also aware that you are never fully “off the clock.” Whether it’s answering an urgent text from a student who is in crisis, dealing with a “when was the camp signup” question from a parent, or attempting to finish something at home, we all know the feeling of having too much to do and not enough time to do it.

However, it isn’t healthy to go at top speed at all points in our lives. If this is how we continue to go we will experience burnout, bitterness, and hurt from all that we continue to do. I say this not to make you feel badly over all you have been doing, but as someone who has been there and experienced this in my own life. We must have healthy boundaries in place to protect ourselves, our families, and the ministries we serve. I’d like to offer a few thoughts on how I’ve managed to set and protect certain boundaries in order to preserve myself, my family, and my ministry.

Make sure time off is time off.

So often we see our work as necessary and kingdom focused (which it is) but so is our ministry to our spouse and family, and to ourselves. Let me encourage you to allow your time off to be time off. Try to not do work during those moments, fully engage with your family, and rely on God when the doubts and fears creep in that tell you that you are failing because you aren’t going 100 miles per hour. Having healthy time off will allow for you to be a better minister because you will be filled and whole rather than tired and fractured.

Be on the same page with superiors.

When I started at my new job I told my superiors that date night was on Fridays and I wanted to honor that with Elise. I also asked about hours and weekend commitments because I’ve been in positions before that required more hours than what I was paid for. My superiors explained that days off were for just that and my work hours over forty were extra hours that could be applied to time off. There are special circumstances of course, but the church and I were on the same page, so when I share with people I am off the clock I know I have a team who has my back.

I am also aware that I am blessed with church leadership who care and honor the right priorities in the right order, but others of you may not have that same experience. I would encourage you to first talk to those in leadership over you and see if perhaps the priorities align but simply haven’t been stated. Regardless of how that conversation goes, you can begin to set the tone within your own ministry setting and lead out to your people and students. Use the options you have and look to protect your time as best you can. You may not always have the support you would like, but you can still lead out and set healthy boundaries and parameters within your context while still honoring your superiors.

Don’t let work take the place of family.

When was the last time you took a work call or text, or answered an email at home or during family time? When was the last time you did the reverse? We are prone to allow work to become the number one priority in our lives, but the order of our priorities should be our relationship with God, our relationship with our family, and then our ministry. God called you first to Himself, then to your spouse and family, and finally as a shepherd to His flock.

That means we must not allow work to displace our family time, and our families must be given the attention and love they deserve. This is hard to do and yes there are always extenuating circumstances, but our families should never be second tier to the church. And honestly, if your church doesn’t affirm this, I would consider going to your superiors and asking hard questions about this topic in a Christ-honoring way. You have to make sure you are caring for your health and the health of your family.

Be transparent about time off.

I love to talk about date night in front of students and our church when I preach. Why you may ask? Because I want everyone to know I love my wife and time with her, but also to set the precedent that we want and deserve time together just like everyone else. It has been refreshing to hear church members who we bump into on Fridays want to honor our date night time, but also I’ve had countless people say they have learned they need to be better about dating and protecting their spouse. When you are open about who you are and where your priorities are, people are welcomed in and more apt to respect them.

Make sure your actions and words match.

This should be true in the church and the home. If you say date night is a priority to the church, make sure you honor that at home. If you ever wonder if your words and deeds match, consider asking your spouse and kids. They will be honest with you and allow for you to grow and become even better by working as a team. We can’t say family time is a priority but postpone it for “work stuff.” What our church and our families see should match. Our spouse and children should hear what we say and see it acted upon at home and in our relationships with them.

And the same should be true for our work. If we tell people we want to prioritize our families but continue to come to work while sacrificing family time, it shows that our word and deeds don’t match. If that is how we are governing our lives, it points toward a heart issue: “who/what are you working for.” Too often a workaholic mentality tends to point toward a pride issue or a desire to please man over God, and we need to look at our heart to make sure our actions and words match as we seek to honor God in all aspects.

Utilize your “do not disturb” option.

I’ll be honest: I struggle with not using my phone for work when I’m at home with Elise. I’ve been practicing something new this week and have been putting my phone on do not disturb. I began to realize how I was worrying about texts, calls, or emails and with “do not disturb” turned on, it has helped me so much in not worrying and making Elise more of a priority. Try it out and see how it works. We preach freedom from technology now it’s time to put it into play in our lives.

Empower your team.

For each of us the word “team” may look different. It could be a student ministry staff team, your volunteer core, or just you and a couple of regular leaders. Whatever the context is for you, empower your team to lead in your place. We cannot allow ourselves to be the only person for our students and leaders. If that is what we do we will always be the on-call person. But if you encourage others to lead, direct students to small group leaders, and allow your team to fulfill their roles, you are then empowering others while allowing space for yourself to breathe and experience balance in your life.

5 Ideas for Volunteer Appreciation

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As we approach Thanksgiving this year, I couldn’t help but reflect on how thankful I am for my team of volunteers. Truth be told, this has been a hard year for a multitude of reasons, and I have seen my volunteer team persevere and love on our students all the more. Even when tragedy hit our ministry and our leaders were grieving, they stepped in the gap and cared well for our students.

Our leaders are the boots-on-the-ground people, who love and care for our students. They sacrifice so much throughout the year to point students to Jesus, and we must make sure to honor and appreciate them. A verbal thank you or affirmation is always a plus–especially in front of your students, parents, and the church–but there are other ways to encourage and bless your leaders as well.

Today I want to share with you five ways you can bless your leaders throughout the year. Some require finances but others are simple ways to say “thank you” and love your leaders. My hope is that anyone could look at these ways to appreciate volunteers and find one that works within their context.

1. Write thank you notes.

This may sound easy or a bit old school, but getting a handwritten note in the mail that recognizes you for what you did is a huge blessing. Consider saying thank you when a leader goes above and beyond, or when a leader does exactly what you have asked of them, or when they have had a hard week or night at youth group. Snail mail is a great way to empower, bless, and care for your leaders. Let me encourage you to go beyond just a generic thank you and put heart and passion into your note and let that be an encouragement to your people.

2. Honor special days.

Whenever a leader has an anniversary, has served for long periods, has a birthday, graduates from school, gets married, or whatever else is a celebration, make sure to honor that. Whether it is a text, call, taking them out to coffee, sending a gift or flowers, or recognizing them at youth group, you are taking an interest in their life and showing you care. Knowing special moments and making them even more special shows love on your end, and helps your leaders know you are for them.

As a quick aside, I would also say to make sure you honor your leaders during days that are significant for a different reason. When a leader experiences loss, gets fired, or is going through a tough season, reach out and love on them. Let them know you are there for them, listen as they process and grieve, and seek to bless them in whatever way is meaningful to them (bring them a meal, take them for coffee, bring them coffee, send flowers, write a card, etc.). How you honor these days will speak even louder than how you honor the really good ones.

3. Allow for time off for your leaders.

In the workforce, at school, and even in the home, we observe holidays and are offered time off, but often in ministry circumstances we for some reason forgo that. I cannot tell you how many ministries I have been a part of that don’t give time off for their leaders. They run programming during the holidays, they require commitment through the entire summer, and leaders have been made to feel guilty about not going on retreats and trips.

We must allow our leaders time off to refresh and recharge in whatever manner they need. Their family time and time to rest is huge, and we must honor that. Let me encourage you to consider taking a week or two off from programming around holidays, and consider scaling back your ministry during the summer to allow for your leaders to breathe easier and come back ready for fall programming.

4. Host leader-only gatherings.

One of my favorite times of the year is when we host our leader Christmas party. The past two years the parents in our ministry have taken ownership of the party and now provide a full meal, decorate, and pray over our leaders. Our ministry staff then has the ability to put our finances toward gifts and prizes for our leaders and we get to spend time blessing and encouraging them. Leader-only gatherings aren’t just for holidays, but also random outings for food, concerts, amusement parks, or even time spent watching football games at your home. These moments are super special. They show your leaders you value more than just a warm body at youth group and that you truly care about the relational component and their well-being.

5. Never make your leaders pay for trips/retreats.

This is one that based upon your budget may not be something you can do, but I would highly encourage you to consider this option if you can. One of the biggest pieces of my budget is a line solely for paying for leaders to go on trips free of charge. They already give so much, so we look to take care of the monetary costs whenever possible. We also try to pick up travel meals if possible, and put together leader gift bags for all of our retreats.

Even if you are not able to cover the cost of the trip, consider putting together gift bags for your leaders. Ours contain things like a handwritten thank you note, a regular size candy bar, granola bar, Chapstick, earplugs, a sleep mask, a coffee drink, Airborne, Advil, a salty snack, and whatever other gifts we can fit in there.

The reality is you don’t need to spend much or anything at all to bless your leaders and let them know you are thankful for them. Sure finances help, but you can always do or say something to let them know you love them and are so thankful for them. May we be shepherds who love our flock and love to bless them throughout the year.

Our Picks: Gender and Identity Resources

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This past Sunday I had the privilege of preaching on the topic of gender and identity. In thinking through this conversation, it became apparent how needed resources are in order to approach it with grace, love, and truth. I wanted to share with you some of the resources that I used in preparing for this sermon and hope that they will be helpful to you.

> Gender: A Conversation Guide for Parents and Pastors by Brian Seagraves & Hunter Leavine

> Living in A Gray World: A Christian Teen’s Guide to Understanding Homosexuality by Preston Sprinkle; prestonsprinkle.com; podcast: Theology in the Raw

> Gay Girl, Good God: The Story of Who I Was, and Who God Has Always Been by Jackie Hill Perry; jackiehillperry.com

> The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert: An English Professor’s Journey into Christian Faith by Rosaria Champagne Butterfield; rosariabutterfield.com

> Teaching Your Children Healthy Sexuality: A Biblical Approach to Prepare Them for Life by Jim Burns

If you’re interested in listening to my sermon on gender and identity, you can find it here.

Tips for Generating New Ideas

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There are times in ministry when we can become stuck in a rut. Whether it’s the way we’ve always done things, or we just become complacent, it can be hard to make a change. Or we may want to change things up, but we struggle with where to start.

Today Nick and I will share some tips with you on coming up with new ideas, particularly for your student ministry. Brainstorming is a critical step in coming up with new concepts, which you can then evaluate for their viability and application to your specific ministry context.

Idea dump in an environment that encourages your creativity.

Set aside a block of time, go to a location that stimulates your creativity, and list every idea you can come up with. Don’t leave anything out, even the ideas that may seem “dumb” or impossible. Sometimes those ideas will lead to something even better. Don’t worry about evaluating your ideas, just get everything written down.

Consider your culture.

It is important to brainstorm within in the context of your ministry, community, and demographic. In doing this, you will be able to identify areas for success, eliminate concepts that are counter-productive, and find key ways to engage your ministry and the people you serve.

Don’t just replicate what everyone else is doing.

As you’re working on brainstorming, you may be tempted to look at what other ministries are doing and replicate their concepts. While some ideas may translate to your context, merely replicating someone else’s ministry formula will ultimately disregard  your unique gifting and ability to assess and direct your specific ministry. It doesn’t hurt to look at another ministry’s formula for ideas, but it is essential to evaluate them within your unique context.

Categorize your ideas.

After you’ve listed your ideas, categorize them based on your context. Compare your ideas to your missional philosophy and see where they might fit within your ministry. Use this step to consider where you would apply each of your ideas, and whether or not they would work for your specific context. Don’t be afraid to reconsider or eliminate ideas that won’t be applicable to your ministry.

Listen to your leaders and students.

It is beneficial to ask for ideas from others who have a vested interest and are actively engaged with your ministry. Bringing them into the process not only validates and encourages them, but helps to give them ownership of the ministry. We would suggest meeting with leaders and students for separate brainstorming sessions.

After you’ve collected each group’s ideas, compare them to one another as well as to your ideas, assessing which are viable and could be implemented within your context. It is also beneficial to keep both groups informed on what you are doing moving forward. This will help to further their buy-in and validate their involvement within the ministry.

List your resources and needs.

We can often be blinded by lack of resources which keeps us from seeing what we actually have. It is important to inventory your resources (i.e., your budget, supplies, personnel, venue, etc.). Be willing to think outside the box when it comes to your resources and look for additional options you may not have considered.

It is helpful to identify your needs so that you can ask for assistance in those specific areas and look to allocate portions of your budget when appropriate. Identify the skill sets present within your congregation and don’t be afraid to ask for people’s assistance.

Don’t be afraid to try.

Some ideas might seem great on paper, but after implementation, they may not work the way you hoped. And that is okay. If you don’t take a viable idea for a test run, you will never know if it will truly work within your context. Don’t be afraid of failure. You can always reevaluate, tweak, or scrap an idea and try something new.

7 Tips for Running Games Well

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Game time during youth group…you either love it or you hate it. Gone are the days where churches could play dodgeball and Chubby Bunny, or duck-tape kids to a wall, and now we have to be intentional in what we do and why we do it.

Games are an integral, but not the most important, part of what we do. We have all seen or experienced games that run well, but for some of us…well, games are hard to run, plan, and get people involved with. So what do we do?

1. Make sure games/game time fit your focus of ministry.

I think so often we can let our time of fun and activity cut into our message or small group time. I have been guilty of this myself. You get super invested in a 9 Square game, and all of sudden you are 20 minutes past your message time, so you call everyone over, go through your message and now small groups have only 10 minutes. That isn’t going to work, it will lead to frustration with your leaders and lack of comprehension in your students’ spiritual formation.

Instead, shape your game time around the priorities of your ministry. If you value the message and small groups they should have the bulk of your time, and games now become something that you put into your extra time. Don’t let the fun dictate the heart. Let the heart dictate the fun.

2. Invest in reusable materials.

One of the best things we can have in our repertoires is something that our students love to use, but that is also reusable. For some ministries this may be a ping pong table, foosball, or carpetball. For others it may be a basketball hoop. Or for others it may be 9 Square (email them to ask for the church discount) or Gagaball. Depending on your ministry and its space, what you have may look different than others, but that is okay.

Our ministry space is shared with other groups, so we don’t get to keep items set up throughout the week. What we done is invest in items that are easily stored, and can be set up in a shorter amount of time. We have cornhole sets, 9 Square, ping pong, foosball, and various board games, puzzles, and arts and crafts items. All of these serve a function of building community and can be run quickly and with little set up, and provide countless weeks of fun programming.

3. Put your (or someone else’s) heart into it. 

Our students know if we love or hate something. For those of us who may not love running games, our students know that and their desire to be involved will reflect our heart. If we love it, our students will love it. The energy and passion you bring will help encourage students to participate. It doesn’t need to be obnoxious, pushy, or over the top, but authentic and passionate energy will help students want to be involved.

Sometimes though, games just aren’t your thing, and that is okay. Find someone who does have that passion, help to equip and empower them, and then unleash them and let them run with it. Now you are not only helping to empower and develop leaders, you are letting them use their gifts and have buy-in. And students will have someone running games who is all-in for them.

4. Become an emcee. 

Now I don’t mean become someone who hosts an award ceremony or game show, but be someone who can not only articulate rules but also engage with the crowd. Make sure to be clear and concise as you explain what is happening. But also remember that you know your people, so have fun with them.

Games are so much more than rules, they are an opportunity to invest in people’s lives. Use them that way. Be able to laugh about the rules and game play. When that one kid who always tries to bend the rules asks a question, have fun with them instead of shutting them down. Walk around and encourage students as they play. Jump in yourself. Enjoy the time and engage with your students as they engage with your game.

5. Utilize your space.

So often we look at our space in the way that it limits us. But what if we took a step back and said, “Here is our space, how can I best utilize it?” With this mentality we enter with a whole new frame of reference and understanding that the space we have is a resource, and it allows for us to get creative. Don’t see it as limiting, see it as an opportunity to be or do something different. Yes, this may mean longer set up or tear down times, but imagine if we let the space shape our approach instead of limit it.

One of my favorite things to do is utilize games that already exist but perhaps my students haven’t seen or played before. Here are three quick ways to get awesome games for your services:

  1. Ask your leaders, students, and other youth workers. You never know what you are going to get and chances are you will get games that are youth ministry gold!
  2. Use Download Youth Ministry. Their ready-to-go games are a must-have for any ministry. Shape it to fit your group, and run with it. Note: this is a pay to use product.
  3. Use The Source for Youth Ministry’s game page. This is something that has been a huge asset to me in student ministry. Hundreds of ready-to-go games, plus a game search option that is completely customizable. Check it out, you won’t regret it.

6. Don’t force the issue.

Some students hate games and physical activity. That is completely fine. Don’t force your students to play. Doing so may actually drive them away from your ministry. Instead, look to understand why they don’t want to participate, find out what interests them, and look to curate a game time (and overall program) that intentionally invests in the lives of every student who comes.

We know that all of our students won’t participate in a game. So instead we have a cafe area (or just a chill space) where they can talk, play board or card games, eat snacks, do homework, or just talk with one another. At first we may take it personally if we orchestrated an amazing game that they don’t want to play, but step back and watch the relational equity develop and students become more invested. Honestly, I have pulled the reigns on formalized games and instead allow for more organic development of activities during that time.

7. Have fun.

This may seem like a no-brainer, but if we don’t enjoy what we are doing, our students will see that. Have fun with your games, yourself, and your crew. Laugh, play along, be willing to chuckle when your rules don’t work, and be willing to call audibles if needed. Your love and passion for whatever you do will be contagious, so bring it to your games no matter how big or small they are and see what God can do through those moments.

Bringing Social Justice + Student Ministry Together

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Social justice is something we’ve seen students become more interested in and passionate about over the years. With more awareness comes a desire to lend a hand, speak up, and participate in various ways. Students are finding new and creative opportunities to make sure their voice is heard.

If social justice is something your students are interested in, I encourage you to step into it with them. As youth leaders we can join in social justice campaigns with our students, foster community and conversation around these issues, and model what it means to be a follower of Jesus Christ who has a heart for justice.

If you’re wondering how to practically engage social justice initiatives within your ministry context, I have some suggestions to get you started. You may find different approaches, campaigns, or issues are more relevant to your group. So I would encourage you to start simply.

Talk to your students about their passions.

You may find a wide range of interests within your group, but you also may be able to identify a common theme. Or you may be able to uncover a few key areas where your leaders and students can get involved together.

Rather than trying to generate interest in a random cause, I think it’s important to begin by identifying what social justice issues currently fire up your students and leaders. You may find a few key individuals who can help lead the rest of the group. From there, you can plan how to move forward in specific ways that are relevant to your group.

Host a social justice night.

Take a regular “youth group” night to discuss, share, and take steps forward as a whole youth group. This is a great way to raise awareness and leverage the passions and involvement already existent within your group. If some of your students and/or leaders are already passionate about particular issues, you can work with them to help lead your social justice night. 

You may also want to consider bringing in someone professionally involved in a social justice issue to speak. You can share a short video, host a panel discussion, or invite students to select and attend a breakout session on a specific topic. Again, not everyone may be passionate about social justice, so consider education your primary focus. Some students may be moved to action, which is why its important to have an involvement plan you can share.

Help students get involved.

You may have a social justice issue knocking at your back door. Or you may have no idea how to get students practically involved. If you can identify a local need that your group can meet, that is an excellent place to start. Tap local experts to help you look into opportunities that are possible for your students. If you’re struggling to find something local, look for ways to partner with a national or global organization.

A great and simple place to start is by advocating through an organization called Dressember. Participants commit to wearing a dress or tie throughout the month of December to raise money and awareness for organizations that fight human trafficking, modern day slavery, and other social justice issues domestically and abroad. You and your students can form a team and those who participate can create their own fundraising page–and monetary goal–through Dressember’s website. (If you have questions about Dressember, feel free to ask; I would love to share more with you!)

Leverage social media and story telling.

However you and your students decide to practically participate, don’t forget to share what you are doing on social media. This is a great platform to not only show people what you are doing, but more importantly, tell them why. This is one of the ways your students can learn how to incorporate the Gospel into their social justice involvement. By explaining the heart behind the work, they can begin sharing the love of Jesus not only within their involvement, but also their extended community.

You can also encourage students to tell their story–many times a desire for involvement comes from a personal connection. That personal connection can often be a bridge to draw others in. Students don’t have to put all the personal details out there, but if they feel comfortable, they can share why social justice matters to them, and what things have come about as a result of their involvement.

If your students have stories to tell, don’t hesitate to share these with the church body at large. Your students can lead others in this area through their passion, care, and commitment. I encourage you to not only let your students lead by example, but to allow and encourage others to follow. Maybe your students can help lead a social justice night or initiative for the entire church, showing how the Gospel can move us all to action.

Caring for Volunteers

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Being on paid staff at a church is an amazing job. You are paid to study the Bible, walk with people, see growth happen, participate in wonderful moments, and you get to fulfill your calling. But often times we forget that the reason we get to do what we do is due, in large part, to our volunteers.

They are the people who show up after a long day of work. They are the ones who take vacation time or unpaid time to go on youth trips. They are the ones fielding late night calls and interrupting family time to care for “their students.” They are the ones who grieve and hurt even though it isn’t their job to do so. They are the ones who take time away from their loved ones to pour into the lives of students who others would write off.

I think our propensity as paid youth workers is to assume that our volunteers can give the way we do. We believe they can sacrifice time and money the way that we do. We forget that this isn’t what they are paid to do.

But we cannot forget our volunteers. They are the glue that keeps our ministry together.  They are the self-sacrificing, servant-hearted, all-in people who make student ministry a reality. So how can we care for them well?

Get to know your people. 

One of the things I have found to be beneficial in caring for leaders is getting to know what they like and don’t like, what encourages them, what discourages them, where they like to go out to eat, what they do for a date night, how you can be praying for them, and what snacks they enjoy. I get all this information at our fall leader training when I ask my volunteers to fill out a quick two-minute survey. In that survey I get to know a lot about them in a simple format, and I find new ways to bless them.

Bless leaders throughout the year.

This can look different depending on the size of your ministry, your budget, and your space. But we shouldn’t let those things keep us from acting or put us in a box. Instead we should leverage what we have to bless our leaders. We use our Leader Christmas Party as our big gift time of year and a bunch of our parents cater the event for our leaders. They cook dinner, serve the meal, prepare desserts, and pray over them. I also love to meet up with leaders throughout the year and see how they are doing. I take them out for lunch or breakfast and do my best to pay for the meal and say thank you. I also pay attention to big days (Facebook helps with this a lot) and reach out to celebrate and honor them.

Get parents involved.

I shared this briefly in the above tip, but the more you can rally parents to support and bless your leaders, the more dedicated your leaders will be. At Christmastime and the end of the academic year, we send out a letter to parents asking them and their students to consider blessing our leaders. Consistently our parents go above and beyond and our leaders are blessed with cards and notes, gift cards, snacks, candy, and so much more. Our leaders and families love this and it is an awesome opportunity to see Body of Christ care for one another. We also ask our parents to jump in and serve at big events to allow  our leaders to be with their students. This helps parents see what is happening and has driven them to have more buy-in and care for our leaders.

Make a big deal out of trips.

When our leaders come on ministry trips we do leader gift bags. Based upon the trip length, style of trip, and funds on hand we offer a variety of gifts and blessings in the bags. For overnight trips we do paper gift bags and for trips of a week or longer we have done backpacks or drawstring bags. We fill these with some of the essentials like lip balm, sleep masks, ear plugs, hand sanitizer, gum, candy, salty snacks, protein bars, swag from our youth group, ibuprofen, pens, or a small notebook. Depending on the length of the trip and expectations for our leaders, we have gotten some nicer gifts as well like Yetis with our logo, full-size notebooks, or mugs.

Use your space.

We all have different spaces for programming and offices (if you’re blessed to have one). A great way to bless leaders is have a spot exclusively for them. I am not in my office much during youth nights so I have turned it into a relaxing area for my leaders. I have a seating area with a tea and coffee bar, along with bottled water and a few snacks. I get good coffee, a variety of teas, nice creamers, all types of sweeteners, and my leaders love it. They arrive after long days and to have something to get a little boost is a big deal. I also keep my office as a leaders-only space so they can have a place to collect themselves and breathe if they need to.

Utilize your leaders’ gifts.

One way to really value your leaders is to see their talents and allow them to utilize their gifts. If you have a leader who is a gifted communicator, get them in front of your group. Have a leader who loves to lead at their workplace? Ask them to help develop your leaders. Is there a leader who is can get anyone to do anything? There is your next game leader. If a leader is passionate about worship, allow them to develop your students into a worship team. Encouraging your leaders to utilize their gifts and strengths not only allows them to continue to grow, but it generates buy-in, creates a team mentality, and shows your leaders you see them as more than bodies.

Recognize and honor your leaders. 

The corporate world does this well. When someone succeeds they get a raise, a bonus, employee of the month, or recognized in a staff newsletter. We should be doing this as well. If a leader does something well, recognize it. It doesn’t need to always be in front of the church or youth group, but maybe at a leader meeting. Consider implementing a “volunteer of the month” where you send them a handwritten note and a small gift card to their favorite restaurant. Or when you get that chance to preach, highlight your volunteer core. Let them know how awesome they are!

Be present in all moments. 

As the shepherd of your ministry you must be present for your team in all moments. That means thinking past your program nights, and being present elsewhere. Take your leaders out. Celebrate their successes. Get to know their passions and their families. Also be there during the really hard moments. This is the part where your leaders see you actually care. I have sat in hospital rooms with leaders, I have held leaders after a loved one passed away, I have walked with leaders who have lost a student, and I have wept with leaders as they wept over their students walking away from what they believed. These moments weren’t the easiest or ones I was prepped for in “ministry school” but these are the moments we are called to as shepherds and ministers. To weep with those who weep and comfort those who mourn. Walk with your leaders in all moments; good, bad, and everything in between.

Commission well.

Part of what we should be doing as ministry leaders is generating high quality leaders who prayerfully will begin stepping up, which may lead to them pursuing ministry elsewhere as God calls them. This isn’t something to fear or be anxious about but something we should be excited for. That means our leaders are growing, being equipped, and following God’s leading. When this happens encourage your leaders, pray with them, and help them achieve the calling God has placed on their lives. But also celebrate and encourage your leaders both publicly and in private. Let them know you are here for them, honor them in front of the youth group, help them to grieve well as they leave, and celebrate them in front of the church.

 

Growing in Prayer: Meaningful Ways to Expand Your Prayer Life

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What a privilege believers in Jesus have! We can come boldly to the very throne of God to make our requests! In Jesus, and through faith in Him, we can approach God with freedom and confidence. (See Hebrews 4:16 and Ephesians 3:12.)

God tells us in the Bible that He sends His Holy Spirit into the hearts of believers to help us pray. When we don’t know what to pray for, the Holy Spirit helps us and intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words (Romans 8:26). He also moves us to address God the Father as “Abba” (Galatians 4:6). “Abba” is an Aramaic term for “Father” that is similar to our “Daddy” or “Papa.”  For the Holy Spirit to urge us to call God “Abba” means that through Jesus we have a personal, close, and affectionate relationship with the Creator and Ruler of the whole universe! Amazing!!

Have you spoken in this way to God yet? If not, give it a try! During your personal prayer time, address God as “Abba” or “Dad” or “Papa.” Of course, by using such a familiar term, we do not want to lose any respect for God; we do not want in any way to disrespect God. Rather, as one brother in Christ put it, we want to relate to God with familiar respect. Or, we might say, we want to relate to God with respectful familiarity. This is a high privilege our Lord Jesus Christ has provided for us through His life, death, and resurrection.

In fact, I encourage you to actually say “Abba” out loud. Now an important first step in that direction is saying your private, personal prayers to God out loud. If you have never done that, give it a try! When God led me to begin praying out loud during my private prayer time, my prayers were transformed. All of a sudden they became more concrete. I didn’t just direct vague thoughts to God; I was putting those thoughts into specific words.

Praying out loud also made the personal nature of my relationship with God seem more real to me. Please understand: ever since the night God saved me in 1976, my relationship with Him was real. However, my sense of that reality heightened through praying out loud. When I pray out loud, it is like talking to another person in the room … because I am talking to another person in the room! God is a real Person and He is present. He is not far away somewhere “out there.” Through Christ I am in God (see Colossians 3:3) and God is in me (see 1 Corinthians 3:16, 6:19). God is closer to me than any other person could ever be! Can I say again, “Amazing!!”?

And once you have taken that step of praying out loud by yourself, then take the step I mentioned earlier and address God, out loud, as “Abba” or “Daddy” or “Papa” … with the respect He is due. I am doing this in my prayer times. As I pray to Abba, one thing I am asking Him is that He would help me to better grasp His love for me. I am asking Him to help me experience His love in a deeper way, in a way that powerfully impacts me. Would you like to join me in making that request of God?

We learn from the Bible that asking God to help us grasp His love is a good and right thing to pray for. How so? Because we have record of the Apostle Paul praying for this very thing for the Ephesian believers. He asked “that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God” (Ephesians 3:16-19).

Notice that not only does Paul pray for them to comprehend God’s love, he also prays for the strength and power to be able to grasp the love of Christ. We cannot know and experience God’s love on our own, through our own effort. We need divine enablement. We need God’s Holy Spirit to enable us to grasp God’s love for us. Why? Because, as verse 19 says, the love of Christ “surpasses knowledge.” His love is so wondrous, so amazing that without God’s help there is no way we in our weak humanity can know it.

And if God grants us our request to experience His love more, we will be changed. We will be transformed. We will “be filled to all the fullness of God.” May God do that for us.

So join me in calling God “Abba.” Join me in praying out loud to our Father God. And join me in praying to experience His love in a deeper way.

Tom Loyola is a senior pastor at an Evangelical Free Church in Iowa. He and his wife Sue Ann have partnered together in pastoral ministry since 1984 and are the parents of two children. Tom received his Master of Theology and Doctor of Ministry degrees from Dallas Theological Seminary and enjoys reading, running, oil painting, and a good movie.

Crafting Messages with Meaning

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“Oh, you teach students? So what do you talk about? Video games, sports, relationships, respect? Or is it more like just babysitting them for a few moments when you can make them sit still?”

We have all heard, or will hear, these or other comments surrounding the messages we give to students. These comments aren’t all out of ignorance or immaturity, but some can be rooted in missteps of those who went before us. We as youth leaders have an uphill climb when it comes to showcasing the legitimacy of student ministry, and we should own it when it comes to our teaching and leading.

Teaching students has to be one of our priorities (I will speak to other priorities in later posts), and one that cannot be treated as a second tier thought. I have witnessed many youth leaders casually offer up a five to ten minute message with little prep, less effort, and almost no comprehension of their audience. But to do that to our students, especially within this generation that is hyper-aware of our world, is a disservice and will ultimately leave students frustrated, disappointed, and wanting more. We must teach our students well, be informed on important topics, and help to train them as mature Christ-followers.

So how do we do that? Here are some tips I have learned throughout my time in ministry and I hope they afford you some insight on how to offer messages that help to push students to grow, take action, and reach their world.

Spend time preparing. 

We would think this is a no-brainer, but let’s be honest shall we? We have all had a week where we “haven’t had the time” and have thrown together a message or simply defaulted to a “game night” for our youth group gathering. I am not saying we cannot have those days or moments, that’s life, but that cannot be common place. We must spend time studying, researching, applying, and helping God’s Word relate to our students. The bulk of my time (outside of meetings of course) is spent studying and preparing for my messages. I want to have a thorough grasp of God’s Word and treat it with the respect it deserves. Putting the time in allows me to shape the message to my students and help them understand it.

Know your audience.

One of my biggest pet peeves of speakers is when they try to relate to the audience but it is clear they have no idea who the audience is or what they value. In order for you to produce messages that matter, you must know your students. Then as you are crafting your message and listening to the Holy Spirit, God will direct you in ways to speak specifically to them. So hang out with your students, learn what they enjoy, know their values, understand their dislikes, find out their favorite places to hang out, and uncover what is happening in their lives.

Use personal stories.

Don’t settle for someone else’s story or narrative. Use personal examples, tell stories from your childhood, be authentic about when you messed up. The more students can tell you are a real person, the more inclined they will be to hear you and listen to what you are saying.

Be a student of culture.

In order to craft messages that relate to students, you must understand who they are, what they value, what is important in their lives, and what is happening that shapes who they are. This means you should have a grasp of the music they listen to; the way social media is utilized in their lives; the topics and issues they are passionate about; and their view of life, church, and culture. In doing so, you will be better suited to speak to them and to how their lives are being informed and shaped.

Use humor.

Growing up I was not naturally funny. I mean I was a goofball but humor wasn’t something that I used in my talks or speeches. When I first started in ministry, I knew I had no humor so I would literally open every message with a joke from a 90s joke book that had nothing to do with my message, its points, or anything to do with that day. I just knew humor was a good thing, but I had no idea how to incorporate it. Let me say this: you do not have to be a comedian to relate to students, but being able to have fun and laugh will make you a better communicator. Use stories from your past, poke fun at yourself, laugh about a story you were reading in the news, find humor in Scripture. Humor will not only help you break down walls but it will also make your students see you in a transparent way. You have become authentic and real.

A quick side note: never, ever poke fun at a student from the stage. Doing so will alienate your audience, cause you to lose rapport, and your students will cease to trust you. Even if you have their permission, don’t do it because the rest of the audience may not know that the student gave permission.

Be passionate.

I cannot tell you how many times I have heard students say, “The speaker was good, but they just weren’t into it.” As communicators of God’s Word, we need to get excited about it. Show students the power of the Gospel. Let them see how you are working it out. Cast vision and excitement for what the Gospel can and will do. Students and adults alike should see our passion for the kingdom of heaven, and it should affect our teaching.

Pray.

I cannot tell you how many times I have gotten ready to teach and I felt so ill-equipped and unprepared. It was terrifying. Each of those times I would pray earnestly seeking God’s direction and asking Him to speak through me, and He did. We serve a great and powerful God who doesn’t need us to communicate His Word, but chooses to use us as a tool to advance His Kingdom. Cover your message in prepare before, during, and after you speak. And understand that you will still be scared, but as a professor of mine once said, “If you ever take the pulpit without some sense of fear because you are communicating the holy Word of God, you need to not be behind that pulpit.”

Know who you are, who God has empowered you to be, speak boldly and passionately, and showcase the Word of God to your students and you will see students grab on and never let go.