Month: January 2025

Quick Tip: To Host or Not to Host a Big Game Party

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Sunday, February 9, is coming. Do you have any plans? What about your ministry or church? Is this a big event for your ministry?

This is a Sunday that I enjoy each year. The commercials, the game, the fellowship, the food, and honestly the conversations that this Sunday fosters just makes it really enjoyable for me. When it comes to ministry on this particular Sunday, I have done it all: I’ve hosted huge outreach events, smaller gatherings, and then just hung out at home with Elise and enjoyed the game together.

None of these are inherently the wrong or right choice. When it comes to your church, your vision, and your community, you know what will work best for your group and ministry.

This isn’t a post to say, “Here’s the right way to do ministry on this specific day.” Instead it is a challenge to think through what is the most effective way to do ministry on this specific day, and how does it align with and strengthen your ministry’s vision?

When we host events like this, we need to think critically about the “why,” “how,” and “what” components. Why are we having this event? How does it align with our vision? How does it help us reach and retain our target demographic? What is its purpose? What makes this event worthwhile? How do we measure a win?

When we step back and critically assess those questions and consider how to best reach our students or church, then we will have an opportunity to reach more people.

I’ll be honest, I’ve moved away from larger gatherings in youth ministry world because we just haven’t seen the reward for the all the work and energy we put into that singular moment. Instead, we encourage small groups to gather together with friends and family and watch the game. That way each group can determine what their time looks like and shape their gathering to best fit their group.

Remember, you’re not trying to find or build a one-size-fits-all event. Instead, allow for organically created moments to build community and relationships.

What does your ministry look like for the big game, and how do you measure the success of that event?

Quick Tip: Don’t Assume

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There’s an old adage that says “when you assume, you make an @$$ out of you and me.” To be honest, I said that phrase for a long time because growing up as a young kid in a Christian house it made me giggle. But as I have gotten older, I have come to realize just how true that statement is!

In fact, I would wager that many of you are like me and we have been guilty of doing this in some way, shape, or form in our ministries and churches. We may assume we know a student and what they’re about to say; or we assume emotions, perspectives, and motives of others; or we assume why our leaders, parents, or volunteer did or valued something we disagree with.

Maybe it is just me who’s been guilty of that, but hopefully not. All that to say: learn from my missteps and don’t assume. I think when we assume we don’t just assume motivation or reason, we assume heart posture and that is a scary place to stand. When we start to assume the posture of someone’s heart, we are essentially saying that we deserve the roll of the Holy Spirit and we can determine all things about people.

Assumptions, especially incorrect ones, can lead to tension, stress, animosity, loss of relationships, misguided responses, and much more. Nothing good comes from assumptions about others, especially when the enemy wants to use our misguided assumptions and our own desires to drive wedges and fracture relationships.

So seek to know people and not assume about them. Love well and reflect Jesus rather than jumping to assumptions, which can actually cause us to disrespect others and the very image of God that we are created in.

Quick Tip: 8 Ways to Rest Before a Trip

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Next week is our winter retreat which is typically the biggest trip of the year for our student ministry. There’s been a ton of prep work going into organizing, planning, and behind the scenes aspects that have been happening for months. In fact, this past week has been incredibly busy and stressful with final preparations and feeling the crunch of normal programming coupled with trip preparations.

I’ll be honest, this past week has been exhausting. I’ve gotten home every night, felt wiped out, and just want to veg out. As the weekend approached I knew I had to make a conscious decision to not do work and simply relax, spend time with Elise, and stay healthy.

The truth is just a few short years ago, that wouldn’t be the case. I would have been frantically checking emails, responding to calls and texts on my days off, I wouldn’t be sleeping well, and the stress would be overwhelming. After a much needed and forced period of rest, I’ve begun approaching ministry with a different perspective that is focused on maintaining my health so I can be a healthy leader.

With that in mind, I’ve approached trips and retreats differently. While yes, the weeks leading up to a student ministry trip is busy and stressful, that does not necessitate us compromising our health, time off, and time with family. So let me encourage you to actually find time to rest, relax, refuel, and prepare leading up to your trip.

But how can we do that well? Here some ways I have found beneficial:

1. Make sure to get plenty of sleep. We all know this doesn’t happen on trips, so start to give your body extra rest in preparation.

2. Hydrate and make sure your body has plenty of fluids. This is essential both before and during your trip.

3. Eat foods that are good for you and boost your immunity and overall health. Camp food is fun (said no adult ever), so preparing your body by eating well ahead of time is essential.

4. Take preventative supplements and vitamins. Gotta keep up your strength and stay healthy!

5. Spend time doing things that fill you and bring you joy. Your upcoming trip will be very demanding in multiple ways. Take time to do something for yourself to charge up ahead of time.

6. Make sure to be wholly present with your family. You’ll be spending significant time apart, make sure to do some things together before that happens.

7. Don’t do work. Yes, you’ll get frantic last minute texts, emails or calls. But someone else’s lack of planning or preparation does not necessitate an emergency on your part. A simple text response saying you’ll respond when you’re in the office will suffice. That may sound a little harsh or dismissive, but your time off and well-being is important and necessary.

8. Pray and spend time nourishing your soul. You’re going to pour out a lot on this trip, so make sure your pitcher (i.e., your soul) is filled so you can pour out.

Happy 2025: Celebrating 6 Years of Kalos

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As we ring in the New Year, we are also celebrating our sixth year of writing and posting on this site! We have loved getting to share out of our personal experiences and life lessons over the years we’ve served in student ministry. The highs and the lows, the wins and losses, and the encouragements and painful moments have all contributed to what we have shared here.

While we look ahead to a new year, we also want to look back at some of our favorite pieces. We’ve published over 300 blog posts these past six years, and here are some of our top picks!

Nick: 10 Little or No-Prep Youth Group Games

Not gonna lie, this one took me back to when we first started Kalos. It’s one of my first posts and honestly is one that I am super proud of because it relates to everyone serving in student ministry. We have all experienced that “oh no” moment when we realize we don’t have a game ready for youth group and our supplies and time are in short supply. These games are ones I keep in my back pocket for just such an occasion and I hope that they are helpful to others serving in student ministry.

Elise: Get Off the Fence: Why Students Need You Now

This was one of my first posts for the blog, but it also is timeless because students will always need committed, dedicated leaders in their lives. It contains a message that endures over time, and I hope encourages those who doubt their ability to serve the next generation.

Also, a good follow-up to this post is one I wrote in 2020: Questions to Ask Yourself Before Volunteering in Student Ministry.

Nick: Quick Tip: Don’t Forget Your Family

This is actually one of my most recent posts, but it’s one that is near and dear to me because I think it’s a reminder I (and others) need to hear. It’s one that reminds me to make a constant effort to have my priorities in order and to prioritize my family.

Elise: 8 Tips for Ministering to Pastor’s Kids

As a PK who has also been a youth leader for PKs, I still love this post. It’s a reminder of what most PKs need: a safe place to be accepted and challenged. And while some can certainly be difficult to deal with, loving PKs well is worth it.

Nick: Quick Tip: Finding Community

Another relatively new post, but one that speaks to my heart because ministry can be lonely for staff members and spouses. Elise and I have both experienced isolation and loneliness during our time in ministry, and my hope with this blog post was to encourage all of us to find and join a community. In doing this, you will find your overall health grow and become healthier, and you will also find more joy and value in your life.

Elise: 5 Tips for Navigating Current Conversations

I wrote this post back in 2020, but it feels almost more relevant now. In the shifting tides of culture and politics, we encounter so much division–both outside and within the church. There have been so many instances where I wish we would just listen to each other in order to understand, rather than assume. I hope that this post remains relevant and helpful, and not just for youth leaders, but for all who follow Jesus Christ.

Nick: Packing for Trips: Leaders

This is a post that I’ve gotten a lot of feedback from over the years from other youth workers, and honestly was a post that was born out of years of taking trips. For me I love this post because it’s a practical way to help other leaders prepare and think through practical things that they will potentially need on a trip. You may not use all of these items, but being prepared is key and I’m very proud of the way this has helped others prepare and succeed on their trips.

Elise: Book Review: She Deserves Better

I loved this book so much, I had to highlight it once again. For those of us who grew up in purity culture, who work with young people, who have our own kids, or who lead within the church, this book is essential. I am thankful for the health, science, and godliness She Deserves Better brings to conversations surrounding gender, sexuality, and self. Check out the post, but even more so, check out the book!