Category: Church Staff

5 Thoughts for New Ministry Leaders

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I have been in ministry for over a decade and since then I have learned a lot about stepping into new roles and what to do and not do. If I were being completely honest, I failed in more ways than I care to admit when it came to stepping into a new role. I was often rash, too direct, quick to assert my ideas over another person’s, and way too aggressive.

Looking back I could make the argument that all of those characteristics were done with good intentions, but how I went about sharing ideas, vision, and implementation could have been handled in much better ways. What I want to share with you in this post are 5 key tips to remember as you step into a new ministry. These are not exhaustive, but I think if we remember them they will help anyone stepping into a new ministry position or role within a church.

1. Take change slowly. I remember my first paid ministry gig. I was a 24 year old senior pastor where the median age at the church was 55+. I was hired in to fill the pulpit, but very quickly asserted myself and began to take over other ministry roles held by leaders in the church because I saw how to “do it better.” My intention wasn’t to alienate anyone or to push people aside. In fact, in my heart I truly was doing it all for the kingdom of heaven, but in running so hard after the success and mission, I missed the people.

So many people had gone before me. They had put blood, sweat, and many tears into the ministry. They had great ideas. But when I started I thought I knew better. I had the experience, the ministry degree, the calling. But I missed the people and the reasons they had done things.

So here is my challenge to you: when you start fresh somewhere make sure to slow down, to listen, to bring people in, to build a team, and take your time making changes. A good rule of thumb is to wait 6 months to make big changes and to bring people in as you make small and large changes.

2. Make sure to build relationships and cast vision well. Often times it is easy to come and make changes because you believe and know it is the right thing to do. But if you don’t bring people in and share that with them, then more often than not, that change will fail. Before you even begin to make changes, build relationships.

Our ministry philosophy should never be program over people, but instead should be rooted in relational ministry as we mirror the philosophy of Christ. When you build relationships you are intentionally growing your team and helping them to see and believe in the vision. Change then becomes natural and part of the ministry DNA. Instead of making changes and trying to catch people up, build into people and let the vision flow through the relationship, then see people move the vision with you.

3. Always be willing to adapt. I am a Jersey Boy born and raised, but I went to school in the Midwest and did ministry there for over 5 years. What I learned very quickly is the Midwest is very different from the East Coast. The way of life, the pace at which things are done, the interactions between people, and even the way religion and faith are viewed were all very different.

What this meant for me when I stepped into a new ministry role is that I had to be willing to adapt my methodology, philosophy, and strategies toward my ministry setting. I wasn’t compromising my beliefs, values, or plans but instead was assessing my new ministry setting and working within the culture and respecting the people I was serving. Doing this will allow for more intentional interactions, rapid building of rapport and trust, and demonstrate to your people that you are there to minister to them not to be the center of the ministry (people over programs).

4. Take time to invest in the community. Depending on where you live and the size of the church you serve in, it can become easy to only be focused on the church family. Meaning, sometimes it is hard to see outside the walls you serve and work in.

My first paid ministry position was with a church that had 10 people including me. We met in the back room of an American Legion Hall and no one knew where or who we were. I began branding the church, looking for a new space, and developing our leaders. All great things in the big process, but I missed caring for and stepping into the community we served. Only when I physically moved into the community did I begin to see the needs and understand how to holistically serve our church and the community together. Then we saw not only growth in the church, but healing and hope come into a very broken area.

When you invest in the community more options are presented for the Gospel to go forth, people begin to see the church as the Bride of Christ, change begins to happen, and healing comes in amazing ways. So go to school games, check out community events, go to PTO meetings, bring donuts to various organizations or community groups, shop local, and look to give back. When you look outside the walls and understand your community, you are able to better invest in your ministry as a whole and this will naturally bring people in.

5. Finally, find a mentor. This is something I would highly recommend to anyone regardless of age, ministry experience, length of time at a ministry location, or level of education. Mentors help in so many ways from bouncing ideas and implementation strategies off of them, to having an empathetic and sympathetic person to lean into, and in many ways having someone to tell you when you have done a great job and when you need to shape up. A mentor is an advocate and a friend, and if I were honest with you sometimes both of those are hard to come by in a ministry setting.

I would encourage you to find someone outside of your church, someone who has been in ministry or served in a church in some capacity, is more seasoned than you are, and is willing to pour into you and speak truth into your life. This will allow for you to be open and honest without fear of reprisal and also help you to grow as a ministry leader. Be willing to listen to encouragement and criticism, process through difficult moments, to be grown and stretched, and to invest relationally. This will be one of the best decisions you could ever make to enhance your own spiritual walk and the ministry you serve in.

These 5 thoughts cannot guarantee a rapidly growing ministry or a church of thousands. But it can create a place where people are loved and valued, where the Gospel goes forth in powerful ways, and growth and development happen in your own life. These thoughts will help you to generate a ministry that puts people before the program, and allows for lives to be impacted and changed. Be an ambassador for the kingdom, and let God work through you, as you model the life of a selfless servant and see what can happen!

Balancing Marriage and Ministry: Why it Matters

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We all know that maintaining a healthy marriage is important. We’ve probably all read enough how-to books and articles that we could write our own. But in the shuffle of everyday life—between church activities, Bible studies and meeting with broken students—it can become easy to forget why.

We feel torn in so many different directions, torn between our marriage and the needs of our ministry. It can feel selfish to set aside a night each week for date night. It can feel selfish to turn down activities and time with students or to screen calls and text messages. We feel like we can and should do more for our ministry and that those we serve should receive the best of what we have to offer. But the truth is, for married couples, a healthy marriage is the best we can offer to the church.

I know we forget this. Growing up in the church has given me a front-row seat to the heart-wrenching ending of too many marriages. I’ve been a sideline viewer for most of my life and it wasn’t until I got married that I learned the enormous responsibility I had shouldered by entering into marriage.

The world tells us that marriage is just about two people in love, and if they fall out of love, it’s okay to end a marriage and move on. But the reality is there is so much more at stake. The responsibility we assume is this: by entering into marriage, we have agreed to exemplify the relationship between Christ and the church (see Ephesians 5:22-33)—a commitment that will not be broken. Because of this, a strong and lasting marriage is not only essential to the two people in it, but to the entire church.

The church is longing for and strengthened by healthy marriages. Healthy marriages reinforce what is preached from the pulpit. Healthy marriages have the privilege of displaying the life-giving love of Christ for His bride. And healthy marriages help pave the way for the next generation.

This reality is especially true for youth ministry leaders and volunteers. Students are watching and learning from the marriages lived out in front of them and unfortunately in too many cases, what they see and learn at home or school does not exemplify a biblical marriage. Married youth leaders have a unique opportunity to model a healthy, Christ-centered relationship for each student they encounter.

In a culture where divorce is normal and common, young people need examples of strong, loving, godly marriages. What they see and learn will influence their view of marriage and their treatment of and response to the opposite gender.

The reality is that marriage is about so much more than two people. The next time you’re struggling to make time for your spouse, I encourage you to remember why it’s important. Remind yourself of why you are doing what you’re doing, and how many people are relying on you to do it well.

How 7 Words Should Shape Our Response to Teen Sex and Pregnancy

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As a kid growing up in the 90s and early 2000s, I remember the “purity movement” with its “true love waits” rings and books about giving up dating. I remember the guilt tactics, horror stories, and shaming. I remember thinking that once I became a teenager I would have premarital sex and become pregnant, and that was the worst thing I could do, the greatest of sins.

Now that I’m a youth leader, it’s my turn to join those approaching the topic of sex and pregnancy with students. I think we’ve all witnessed two extremely opposite responses. Some within the church might accept teen sex as normal or okay, or even go so far as to encourage it. Others might swing the opposite direction and choose to shame and cast out teens caught engaging in the activity.

I beg that God would enable us to approach it correctly, and that youth leaders would educate and respond to students in Christ-likeness, “full of grace and truth” (John 1:14). I pray that we aren’t guided by judgmental legalism or cultural acceptability, but by the Bible alone.

John 8:1-11 tells the story of a woman who was caught in adultery. The religious folk of that time—including leaders and teachers—had gathered and were prepared to stone her. Jesus was present, so they asked Him what they should do, and I love His answer. He doesn’t say any of the things we might expect to hear today like, “She’s a sinner, cast her out,” or “Get on with it,” or even, “It’s hard to abstain,” or “Everyone’s doing it, so why can’t she?” Instead He says, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”

One by one, each person leaves until the only person without sin is left—Jesus. And amazingly, the only person in that situation who could throw a stone, doesn’t. But He also doesn’t leave without saying something. He doesn’t lecture, He doesn’t condone. He simply says, “Then neither do I condemn you. Go and leave your life of sin.”

Jesus’ response goes against condemnation, self-righteousness and the general practice of shaming. It simultaneously goes against acceptance, turning a blind eye, or saying “Get a condom, prevent unwanted pregnancy.”

I see two things in this passage: love and encouragement to right living. And neither look like what we might expect. Society teaches that loving people means simply accepting them for who they are and what they do, regardless of what that is. Jesus demonstrates that loving involves more than just accepting. It includes encouragement to right living in seven simple words, “Go and leave your life of sin.”

As Christ-followers, how are we handling the prospect and occurrence of teen sex and pregnancy? Are we choosing an acceptance that says, “Teens are having sex, it’s happening, so let’s be sure to teach them about contraceptives”? The problem is this view is ultimately toxic as it treats the symptoms and not the problem. It may stop pregnancy, but it doesn’t stop the destructive behavior of teen sex.

But, neither does condemnation stop teen sex. It simply pushes teens out of the church, which should be the primary place they can find help. Because as a body of people claiming to follow Christ, we should be governed by His loving example. We should take up His words of “Go and leave your life of sin,” using it to teach teens the following:

Mistakes happen.

You aren’t perfect and never will be. We’ve all made mistakes and don’t pretend to be perfect. We don’t expect you to be perfect and we won’t kick you out or look down on you or love you any less for making mistakes. (Like the religious leaders in John 8, we aren’t in a place to throw stones.)

Your mistakes don’t have to become habits; they don’t define you.

Just because you make a mistake, doesn’t mean the behavior has to or should continue. Poor choices and mistakes that are allowed to continue will eventually become habits, and these are not habits you want to form.

The Bible outlines the ways in which God wants us to live.

We obey not out of compulsion or a desire to be “good enough” for God, but because He wants the best for us. And, if we have a relationship with Jesus, our understanding of His sacrifice fuels our desire to devote our lives to Him. We will educate you on this, and we’ll have open dialogue about issues like teen sex, pregnancy, etc., because nothing is off-limits for discussion. We don’t believe in remaining silent.

There is so much more beyond the here and now.

And we want to help you fix your eyes on what is waiting after this life. We believe that knowing life doesn’t end here changes your perspective on the present. Sure, things may feel great (or at times hopeless) in the moment, but it’s all temporary, it all fades. Life in Christ lasts forever.

We want to help, encourage, equip and motivate you to live your life for Jesus.

We want to help you wrestle with the tough questions. We want to support you in whatever you are dealing with. We will provide a safe place for you to talk through whatever is on your mind or going on in your life, without judgement or condemnation. We are, after all, a family.

Can you imagine how churches would be changed if people stepped outside of their preconceived notions of church and how they think it should be and got back to just the Bible? In times of question, when the church is wrestling with where it should stand on important issues, the only place it should turn is the Bible. We shouldn’t look to the political climate, the actions of others, or social pressures. In the end, those aren’t the things we’ll be answering to; we’ll be answering to God alone.

So what happens when one of your youth group attendees ends up pregnant? Is she out the door, allowed to attend under attitudes of judgement and disgust, or told to get an abortion before anyone knows she’s pregnant? Do you think Jesus would encourage any of those responses? I believe He would champion us to show love, grace and become a people who will offer help and support. The reality is that there are now two lives that need Jesus, and none that need condemnation.

I pray that as youth leaders, we will help teens become stronger in their faith, more sure of their beliefs, and equipped to know and understand the Bible and the truth it contains. And I pray for love like Jesus, for us and for the church.

Breaking the Youth Pastor Mold

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Back in the 90s there was a stereotypical youth pastor. He was a young, hip, 20-something who had just graduated from Bible college or grew up in the church he was now serving. He was loud, played guitar, and had a stellar video game collection. He introduced students to games that today would lead to a lawsuit, drove the church van like it was a hot rod, and only stuck around for 2-4 years. He typically got talked to by the elders at least once a month about the students’ and his behavior that the church didn’t like.

Fast forward to today and youth pastors look exceptionally different. We come in all different shapes, sizes, personalities, ages, and backgrounds. And not all of us are male either. We live in a very different world where youth ministers have changed and grown into capable leaders and servants who remain in youth ministry for years, even decades. But the reality is that the perception of a youth pastor has not changed.

There are still those who look at youth pastors as assistant-level staff, who do not function in the same capacity as senior-level staff. They still see a youth pastor as the immature and brazen young person looking to make a name for themselves. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. Many of today’s youth pastors look exceptionally different.

Yes, many youth pastors will be young and fresh and looking to take the world by storm for Jesus, but that doesn’t just describe youth pastors. I became a senior pastor when I was just 23 and I will tell you, that was a challenge. I was seen as the young and rash pastor who was trying to move in on the turf of the veterans in town. But the truth is that there a variety of styles, shapes, and personalities when it comes to being any type of pastor. It isn’t an age or maturity issue, it is a calling.

So what makes a youth pastor? The calling and passion that God Himself has instilled in someone’s life. I have had the pleasure of learning under, working with, and witnessing youth pastors of all different types lead and care for students. They were loud, soft spoken, energetic, reserved, up front people, the behind the scenes type, gifted in speaking, a counselor, a Disney movie lover, a cat hater, a big kid, a theologian. But most of all, they were men and women who above all else loved Jesus and loved students as He did.

Today, youth pastors are vastly different than they were back in the 90s. They aren’t looking to use youth ministry as a stepping stone to being a senior pastor. They aren’t looking to break all the church rules and upset the elder board. They aren’t looking to be everyone’s best friend. They are looking to love students where they are at, to be a beacon of light in a dark world that tells students God doesn’t matter or care. They are ministering to students who have been hurt, abused, told they aren’t worth anything, forgotten, cast out, and left alone.

Youth pastors stand together under the banner of Christ to care for the upcoming generations that are hurting and broken. They are old, young, short, tall, black, white, Bible school dropouts and seminary grads. They are dynamic speakers who draw crowds and quiet disciple makers who draw 4-5 students. They are musicians and people who sing poorly, loudly proclaiming the salvation of Jesus. They are fallen people who would do anything to be the hands and feet of Jesus today to the students they serve.

I am proud to say I am a youth pastor. I am not a silicone mold, I am my own person. I do not fit the stereotype. I am broken, I am sinful, I am forgiven, I have a calling, and I love students. To all my fellow youth pastors: you matter more than you know! We may never hear it, but the impact we have on the lives of the students we serve is greater than we will see this side of heaven. Fight the good fight brothers and sisters, and never fit the mold! Be you, be unique, and be the hands and feet of Jesus to students you serve.

I am a youth pastor! What’s your story?

What Students Need, Not What They Want

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The 90’s song “What A Girl Wants” from Christina Aguilera says, “What a girl wants, what a girl needs, whatever makes me happy sets me free.”

It is interesting because as I have worked within youth ministry, I feel like this has become our mindset for our programs. No, we aren’t just giving girls what they want (think bigger), we are giving our students what they want in order to make them happy.

Have you ever noticed how we cave to popular culture in our youth programming? How we have to match the trends that are up and coming? Just take a look around your youth room, area, wing, whatever. Do you have a ton of technology? Does your worship team play all the new and upbeat Christian music? Do you have to have tons of sugary snacks to bring students in? Are you always looking for a new game, gimmick, or outreach program to bring in more kids?

Please hear me out. I am not trying to guilt trip any of us. We all use these tools and I believe most of us use them effectively, but is this what youth ministry was meant to be? Were we meant to be the popular place, the place students automatically want to go, the “it” place in town? Or were we meant to be Gospel-centered places of refuge, revitalization, and freedom?

Many of you, like I first did, will cry foul. We teach the Gospel, we help make disciples, we minister to broken youth. Yes we do. But my argument, my mindset, is that we need to have the proper foundation upon which to do these programs. It shouldn’t be bringing in kids with lights, loud music, sweets, froyo, inflatables, and activities no one else is doing. It should be with the Gospel. The Gospel is what should be bringing students into our youth groups, our churches. We can argue all day that we need to make the Gospel relevant to our culture, but the reality we fail to realize is that the Gospel will transcend all time, all cultures, all demographics, all age groups. Jesus knew this and to be frank He understood youth ministry.

Jesus led the greatest band of youth in the New Testament when he took eleven young men and one adult, who didn’t know how to keep his mouth shut, and turned them into the greatest revival in history. Jesus worked with troubled kids, bullies, liars and thieves, rebels, and many others and He didn’t bring them in with sugary treats, technology, and bold outreaches. Instead, He brought them in with honest teaching, interpersonal relationships, a multiplication model, constant prayer, and ultimately let them go. Are we ready for that? Are we modelling that? I know I haven’t been willing to let go, but I believe we need to model the programming Christ set forth. Will you step out with me and let the revival come?

So what should we do? I am not saying rid your youth group of candy, games, outreach events, and craziness because these are all good things, but instead I believe we should rethink our purpose and how we do things. I would suggest four things to do:

Preach the Gospel unabashedly

This should be a no-brainer but the reality is the Gospel isn’t always as prevalent as it should be. Think about it: how much time do you devote to games, snacks, hangout time, movies, etc. Now think about how much time you take preaching the Word of God and proclaiming salvation. Does the obvious one outweigh the other? Our priorities can be noted by the time we spend there. Please do not hear this as being critical of youth pastors and their programs. I am in that place as well. It is something that as I write this I find convicting. This is meant to be more of a rallying cry for us to stand upon our convictions and push them home. Let us put the Gospel back in the central point it deserves!

Become a safe place

Again, we probably all assume that our youth programs are safe areas for students, but I think we miss things. Bullying is a hot topic and I think most of us could say we keep bullying out of our programs, but what about gossip, sarcasm, judging others, disrespect? These things can drastically alter the DNA of a youth group and cause it to become a place where students do not want to be. We need to be a place that builds its foundation on the Gospel, and then seeks to promote love, peace, forgiveness, and grace. We need to start educating our students on the dangers and problems associated with these attitudes and heart issues.

Another way to be a safe place is to constantly push home that students can be themselves here, that there is no judgement, that there are people they can talk to, and they can trust us. I have written before on trust, and I cannot over emphasize this point. We need to keep our word and our confidences with students (of course there are always extenuating circumstances, but the short version is keep your word). We as pastors, as leaders, as volunteers, must be a source of trust, advice, and direction in a student’s life and we need to be a place that students know they can come for help. Bring in volunteers who are gifted in counseling, make connections with licensed counselors inside and outside your church, have crisis care information at the ready, and talk about these issues! The one thing I cannot express enough is we need to be leaders who do not brush the issues under the carpet or do not talk about them because they are messy and difficult. We must talk about them and we must educate our students on how to walk through these times, all the while advocating our support, love, and care for them.

Start from the ground up

We need to be a praying generation. Maybe it is just something that God has been stirring within my heart, convicting me in areas I fall short, but I believe we need to be praying more for our volunteers, our students, our ministries, our churches, and our world. If we are not falling on our knees to ask God to change our world, our towns, and our students, we are missing the mark. If you study the early church in Acts you see that everything they did was covered in prayer. It was prayer and seeking God in Acts 2 that caused thousands to be added to their numbers. When the believers prayed for boldness in Acts 4, God gave fishermen, tax collectors, zealots, and the uneducated the ability to proclaim God’s Word, and they grew again! Going further into Acts we see countless times that prayer brought about salvation, sending out of disciples, and discipleship!

Prayer can and will transform our programs! Are we praying enough? I am sure many, if not all of us are praying during our personal study times, we pray during staff meetings, at home for meals, with our spouses and children, but when was the last time you prayed over the church, your youth room, where you do counseling? When was the last time you brought your volunteers, student leaders, and/or parents in to pray for that week’s meeting? I believe that prayer must be part of our foundation or we will never experience the growth that the early church did. So often I have wondered why a program is not growing more. Why has it remained stagnate? Why are we just existing? And then the Holy Spirit grabs my heart and says, “Get on your knees you foolish man. You cannot do this. Only I, the God who placed you here, can!”

My question is, are we praying enough? I know I am not. Perhaps if we all prayed, if we rallied our volunteers, students, parents, church staff and prayed fervently and constantly sought the face of God, we would see an explosion of growth happen once again in the Bride of Christ.

Be prepared for a revival

Coming off of the last point, I think we need to ask ourselves, are we truly ready for revival to come like we sing about in our songs? Truly, if we cry out in prayer God is inclined to move through His people and are we ready for that? Can you see youth groups and churches bursting from the seams as God fills the church? Can you see schools and towns changing? Can you see the world changing? This is the vision John has in Revelation when he sees people from every tongue and nation singing and worshiping God! This is an amazing picture of what is coming, and we need to ask ourselves, are we ready for this? Are we doing our part to share the Gospel with those we minister to?Are we content to be where we are and just exist? May it never be! Let us be ever willing to cry out for this!

So what should we do to prepare for revival?

  1. Have leadership ready. Get a team of volunteers, student leaders, and parents in place to help disciple, pray for, and walk with people who come to the church.
  2. Put the priority on God. Always preach the Gospel, always give God glory, and always direct others to Him.
  3. Be prepared to make changes on faith. Look to grow the church and not be tied down to a location, facility, program, or way of doing things. God sent the disciples out with no place to lay their heads or any understanding of the world outside of their country and look what happened. The church, the Bride of Christ, came into existence!
  4. Be in prayer. Be in constant prayer for what God is going to be doing. Always look to Him for guidance, direction, and understanding.
  5. Get other youth groups and churches in on this. Don’t be an island; look to be ecumenical and inclusive with other Gospel-believing churches. God is going to do great things not through one program or church but through all of His people. Bring others in!

I know there was a lot tied into one post, but we need to be willing to let go of our programming and let God run the show without trying to do it our way. Let us love unabashedly, serve without hesitation, give God the glory and control always, and reach our students, families, and the world with the amazing truth that is the Gospel.