Have you ever felt like you didn’t know what was expected of you? Has a review ever caught you off guard? Were you ever confused when you found out you were doing smothering incorrectly?
I think most, if not all, of us have been there. We know the feeling of expectations not being communicated. We know those feelings and tensions. The sad reality is we may not be able to change how others, even our supervisors, handle those moments but we can decide how we approach them.
We can lead from the second chair and lead by example to our supervisors, but we can also lead well with our teams. That includes how we communicate our expectations. Today I want to share a few key ways we can do that well.
Think through how you’d like people to communicate with you.
When we reflect on how we want to be communicated with, that should impact how we communicate with others. We know what matters to us, we understand how we experience value and appreciation, and we know what makes us feel dismissed and unseen. Utilize that knowledge to guide how you communicate and express your expectations to your team.
Be clear in your communications.
Sometimes in an effort to soften our approach, care well for others, and (if we are honest) seem like the hero of our story, we can muddy our communication by adding more verbiage that isn’t necessary. Instead, what we need to do is be thoughtful and intentional with our words as we seek to be clear in our communications. Clarity is kindness, and when our communication is clear, our people have a better understanding of what is being asked of them.
Be clear with expectations.
Ambiguity never helps anyone. If we don’t give clear expectations, we will never be satisfied with the results because we haven’t set up our team to meet the expectations. We are setting our people up to fail and for ourselves to be disappointed and discouraged.
Instead, know what your expectations are and clearly communicate them to your team. I would strongly encourage you to consider putting your expectations in writing so that you have something you can come back to.
Never assume.
This is a big part of expectations. Often when there are unspoken or unmet expectations we can jump to conclusions about the other person(s) and assume various things about them. But this isn’t just with unspoken or unmet expectations, we do this even when expectations are clearly communicated. We assume motive or rationale or even heart attitudes and this is never a safe place to be.
When we start to play God by assuming, we truly make ourselves out to be the donkey that doesn’t know our head from our behind. In those moments we actually end up hurting others and ourselves by creating brokenness in the relationship, which can actually lead to loss of said relationship.
Honor your expectations.
One thing I would strongly encourage is that if you have expectations for your team, hold yourself to those expectations. We have all had experiences with leaders whose motto is “do as I say not as I do.” And if we are honest with ourselves, that type of leader is hard to work for and with. It’s a frustrating place to be and we know that tension well.
Instead, let me challenge each of us to be the leaders we desire and honor the expectations we give to our team. If we are asking for timely communication, we need to make sure we are doing the same. If you want your team to communicate in a certain manner, make sure you exemplify it. If there are office hours and out of office hours, make sure you reflect that in your schedule as well.
When a team is held to the same expectations and the leader is the first to hold to them, you will see a team that is unified and collaborative instead of divided and hurting.
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